preview of my nightingbee fic
the start of a new decade seemed like a good time to post a peek at the fic i’ve been working on for almost four years now. i’ve been feeling bad that it’s something i’ve talked about a lot, but it’s taking me so long to finish (this is exactly why i’m completing the whole thing before posting; six chapters took me almost four years) so i thought, hey; i’m gonna post the first chapter, just for tumblr. not the whole chapter tho, but about 75% of it.
i’m now working on chapter 7, out of a possible 10 - depending on how things work out and what post-game stuff i decide to make its own fic - so we’re in the home stretch with it. i really hope i can finish it this year, i’ll try my best.
currently untitled nightingbee fic
chapter pairing(s): leliana & sera, sera/inquisitor, leliana & inquisitor, leliana & josephine
word count: 4,569 (full chapter is 6,015)
chapter summary: leliana tries to figure out what to make of sera
****
Leliana pretends not to notice, but Sera has been hovering just outside her tent for most of the morning. To be honest, she’s rather surprised that their newest recruit is up at this hour – she doesn’t seem like a morning person, and the sky is still dull with early dawn – but perhaps that’s none of Leliana’s business. She keeps her head down, bent over the small wooden planks she calls a desk, skimming over reports that had arrived for her during the night, but she can see her out of the corner of her eye. Sera paces nervously, snow crunching, just far enough to mistake for background noise to anyone not paying attention. Was she looking for something, or someone? It was hard to tell what Sera was thinking, she was too new – only a few days in now – and unpredictable for Leliana to get a handle on just yet. Perhaps in a few more weeks.
They’re running low on ingredients for poultices. Those were important. She makes a note to mention this to Cassandra, she should know. Josephine as well.
Snow crunches slowly but louder, and Leliana turns her head to find Sera now much closer to her, freezing as soon as their eyes meet. Her ears are slightly lowered, and she appears to be holding a bundle of something in a tattered rag; her free hand clenches at her side.
Sera takes a breath and says, “Er… you’re the Orlesian one, yeah?”
Leliana schools her expression, but inwardly she’s taken aback by the unexpected question. “Yes…?” she replies, hoping she doesn’t sound too curt.
“Right. You uh…. I didn’t hear your voice when we first met? Quiet one, you.” Sera blinks and her brow furrows, head tilting to the side as she stares at Leliana intently. Studying her? Leliana shifts a little uncomfortably, and steps away from her makeshift desk, straightening up to her full height.
“Did you need something?”
Sera shakes herself out of wherever her thoughts went. Her foot shuffles against the ground. “Right! Y’know how I came from Orlais-”
“Your accent sounds Fereldan.”
“What? No, I’m not from there, I was staying there. Whatever.” One of her ears flicks, almost imperceptibly. “When I left, I took some stuff with me, cause I thought, ‘hey, cold town in the mountains, probably doesn’t have a lot’a stuff.’”
“Is that your way of saying you stole this… stuff?” It comes out a little more humorously than Leliana meant. Even without the report of stolen “breeches” days ago, she knows a pickpocketing rogue when she sees one, oh yes.
Sera huffs. “Why? You gonna get me in trouble, Knifey? Long way to Orlais.” Leliana tries not to let it show but she bristles at the nickname. She’s no stranger to them, but it’s too early and she’s not in the mood to deal with sudden disrespect. (What did that even mean? Yes, she was good with knifes, but she was well known for being an archer.) Her gaze must harden because Sera swallows hard and both of her hands start twitching. Interesting. “Alright, look. Do you want this stupid thing or not?” She unwarps the rag in her arms and shows Leliana what appears to be a slightly squished pastry. A strudel of some kind? Fruit, most likely, a mix.
Leliana stares at it, confused. That’s what Sera had been so nervous about? She wanted to give her… food? “Not to be rude but… why are you giving me this?”
Sera shrugs, avoiding eye contact. “Dunno. It’s Orlesian, you’re Orlesian. Seemed right? Thought you might want something from home, seeing as you never freakin’ eat around here.”
Leliana travels so often that she just barely considers Orlais her home by this point… but it’s the thought that counts, she supposes. But how would Sera know about her eating habits? She’s not wrong, sometimes her work gets so overwhelming that Leliana forgets to eat (and secretly, she finds much of the food here at Haven hard to stomach. It’s all mostly thick, sloppy stews, qualities she avoids as best she can. Is there harm in giving her portions up to someone else? She can live on meager vegetables, its fine.) She’s certainly not public about it.
“And you know this how?”
Sera blinks. “Cause I watch…? What, like you’re the only one here with eyes?”
Leliana doesn’t have anything to say to that. How odd, this young elf managing to leave her rather speechless. She only nods and holds out her hand, and Sera roughly shoves the cloth into her arms – nervously or overenthusiastic? Leliana can’t tell. She picks up the pastry and examines it closer. It looks like its seen better days, but seems edible enough. By the time she looks up, Sera has scampered her way back in the direction of the tavern, the footprints she leaves behind hasty and frantic. A quick little thing.
She takes a small bite of the pastry; it’s a bit stale, but the cold has kept it mostly preserved. Perhaps Sera found a suitable hiding spot for her goods. She sets it aside. It’ll be something nice to pick at until midday, when she’s sure Josephine will find her and make her have a proper meal.
For now, she simply watches the tavern.
------
She hears voices outside her tent. Odd, she’d been sure she was the only one awake at this hour. She supposes she should’ve turned in for the night by now, but moments of lonely quiet are few and far between. Leliana takes them when she can; they give her time to collect her thoughts. Sometimes she prays, if the notion strikes.
The voices come closer. She quickly blows out her candle and listens.
“What are you talking about? Flissa’s adorable.”
“Pfffffft, sure, if you like all meeky. Pretty, I guess. Not my type.”
“Pretty is my type.”
“Yeah, I bet it is.”
Ah, of course. Adaar and Sera. The two had become fast friends over the last few weeks, no doubt over their shared love of women, goofing off, and heavy teasing. They were often found together at the tavern, and unsurprisingly, they both seem a little tipsy tonight, lots of giggling and clumsy-sounding steps.
Leliana huffs quietly; does the Herald not have better things to do? she finds herself thinking. (It’s the middle of the night, an inner voice tells her. Leliana ignores it.) She’s sure they’ll leave soon.
“Does Flissa like girls?” Sera asks.
“I dunno, never asked,” Adaar replies. “With my luck? Probably not.”
Sera laughs. “You’re thinkin’ of Cassandra!”
“You bet your pretty ass I’m thinking of Cassandra.” Sera giggles harder. “It’s always the ones that look it, you know? I can’t figure her out. Have you flirted with her? She seems to like it but…. I don’t know?” Snow shifts under the qunari’s heavy steps, as if she’d just kicked at the ground. “Am I being too subtle?”
“What, you lookin’ for a lay?”
“No… well…. Ye- no, I just wanna know what she likes.”
Leliana shakes her head. Oh, those poor, poor little fools.
“I can’t be subtle. Look at me.” Adaar continues. She sounds like she’s trying to cheer herself up.
“Gladly.”
Leliana can’t tell if she wants to roll her eyes or not. It’s… endearing, listening to a couple of drunken young women – though she doesn’t quite know how old either of them are yet; perhaps they simply make her feel old – discussing other women, a subject Maker knows she adores. But it’s also childish and… and mushy. This is not the time or place to discuss such things.
Not that she’s bitter or anything.
“Look,” Sera says, “it’s the mockingbird’s tent.”
“No, it’s nightingale, Sera.”
“That’s what I said.” Ah, the mild disrespect from Sera continues. Well, she’s been called worse. Sera’s voice drops to a hoarse barely-whisper. “You think she’s in?”
Leliana holds her breath.
“Oh… I hope not. She’s mad at me.” Adaar actually sounds like she’s pouting. There’s a soft fump of her weight falling into the snow. “I just wanna leave her be right now.”
Sera blows a raspberry. “That one’s always mad at somethin’. Guess to be a Hand, you gotta be a grump.”
Leliana quietly taps one finger on her desk, wondering if there was even a point to staying here and waiting for them to leave. She’d get more peace by simply going to bed.
“This morning something happened with her… people, I guess? Agents? One of them died, and she wanted to kill some guy in revenge. I stopped her.”
Though Leliana can’t see her, she’s familiar enough with some of the Herald’s tics at this point to imagine her running a hand through her hair. There’s a shifting of snow, possibly Sera plopping herself down as well. Clearly neither of them are worrying about whether she’s here or not; she wonders what this conversation would be like if they hadn’t been drinking.
“You stopped her? You. You were a mercenary, I saw ya beat a bandit’s face in the other day. Why would you care how violent she gets?”
“I thought Cassandra would be upset with me if I let her? I dunno….” Adaar pauses for a while. “It just didn’t feel right, you know? I’m not against murder when it’s some asshole who did us wrong but… I told her I’d help her, not let her get all knife happy.”
“Knifey Shivdark?” Oh, that’s what that meant.
“Right. I just… I don’t think that’s really her.” Adaar sighs, and when she speaks it’s muffled, just for a moment, her hands on her face most likely. “But I think I just got her upset with me. She’s avoided me all day. I didn’t want that… I like talking to her.”
Leliana pinches the bridge of her nose and rubs between her eyes. She’s not mad.
Alright. She’s a little mad.
Leliana has spent most of the day reflecting on her discussion with Adaar, going over her choices. Bulter won’t be in their custody until further down the week, and she finds herself quite glad to have him still alive. In her anger that morning, it hadn’t occurred to her that he might’ve had a motive to betray her. A benefactor? An enemy? His own devices? He’d tell no tales dead.
She’s not upset with Adaar – Ren – she just doesn’t want to admit that she was right.
“You’ve been here a while now,” she hears Renegade continue, “does she make you nervous at all? I know you have an issue with… higher ups.”
“Nah… I mean, she’s terrifying, sure, but she’s alright,” Sera says. Leliana is honestly surprised. “Caught her bein’ all sweet to her birds the other day. Like, talking to a puppy sweet. She scary? Yeah, sure. Never wanna get on her bad side. But if you’re gonna baby talk a crow, you can’t be all bad, right?”
“That… is adorable. See, I know there’s more to our little bird.”
Leliana is rather offended; she is not adorable, thank you very much. But she does care for her birds, she won’t deny that. They like little pep talks. And they are ravens.
“And y’know… she’s sad all the time. Kinda hard to really judge someone who’s grieving, innit? Maybe her broody thing will get old soon, but, eh, don’t mind leaving her be until then.”
Hm. Sera appears to be much more astute than Leliana has given her credit for. It hadn’t occurred to her that the elf was paying that much attention to her. She’ll have to remember that.
“And I swear I’ve see her before, I know it.”
“You haven’t figured it out yet?”
“No, it’s driving me mad!” Sera groans, and there’s the sound of snow shifting, as if she kicked or swatted at it.
“Maybe it was a different redhead?”
“Yeah, sure. Plenty’a redheads in creepy purple hoods out there.”
Leliana hadn’t removed her hand from her face, and she’s glad, as she can’t help the quiet laugh that bubbles up and she is not going to have her cover blown by a Maker damned snort. Sera, however, laughs openly at her own joke, that loud, infectious laugh that’s becoming quite well known around Haven. Leliana hears a soft thud and Sera’s giggles are muffled. She guesses Ren shoved her over.
“I... I forgot what I was gonna say next,” Sera says between snickers. “What were we talking about?”
“How Leliana’s my new best friend, cause you can’t take anything seriously. It’s decided.”
Whatever helped the Herald sleep at night.
“You like her more than me.”
“Hm….”
“Right, see? You paused, that means you do!” And suddenly Leliana finds herself in the apparent middle of some kind of… love triangle. She knows they’re both joking – mostly? – but she still makes a mental note to ask Flissa to limit the amount of late night drinks these two are allowed from now on. “I mean… I get it…” Sera continues, and she sounds flippant, possibly shrugging. “She’s pretty and all.”
“Yeah she is. I can like more than one woman, you know.”
“That’s weird. Not… bad, just weird.”
“Well… that’s how I am.” Ren says, voice a little softer. She laughs dismissively. “Why are we talking about this, anyway? Not like it matters. None of the ladies here like me, except for you.”
“Yeah, I’m right here, you arsehole.”
Oh, seems they were finished talking about her. (A shame. She was almost reveling in it. Almost.)
Ren laughs again. “I know that, you silly fox. We haven’t known each other long, though. Unless you like to go hard and fast?”
“I’m not in love with you or anything.”
“A little hopeless romantic.”
“You’re the one trying to shag everyone here!”
“That’s not really romance, that’s just some fun before the world ends.”
Leliana quietly starts to question her life choices. Why was she still listening? No, why was she waiting, clearly they two of them were having a perfectly fine time sitting in the dark, in snow, and flirting. She should’ve gone to bed a while ago. Yes, a part of her finds them entertaining, but mostly she just wants to be alone.
“Yeah, well… I can be fun.” Sera says.
“Oh, yeah?”
There’s a fump, and Leliana pauses mid-running a hand down her face, listening. Both of them are laughing – the obvious guess is one threw themselves at the other – but there’s quiet, gentle murmurs that she can’t quite hear between giggles. Silence, small but enough for Leliana to suddenly wonder if there was a chance they might pass out in the snow and what would she do with them, until there’s more giggles; but they’re softer now, almost nervous.
Oh.
She knows that giggle. She’s done that giggle.
Part of her wants to stay in the back of her tent and hope they do pass out, or leave, perhaps go back to the tavern. Stumble their way to their rooms. The other part finds that unlikely and she doesn’t want to become an accidental voyeur; none of this is her business. (Well, yes, everything is her business, but neither of them know she’s listening, and she’s not comfortable with any sudden intimacy. She’s fine with being creepy, but she’s not a creep.)
So she leaves the tent. She finds the two a few feet away, the Herald on her back with Sera on top of her. They seem innocent enough, but she can’t quite tell from here what their intentions are. Perhaps nothing. She clears her throat anyway.
Renegade rockets upward, throwing Sera to the snow, and they both stare at her wide eyed. “Uh…” the Herald says, “how long have you been here?”
“Sundown.” Leliana says flatly.
Sera blinks, snorts loudly, then dissolves into loud laughter. “We should’ve known! She never sleeps!”
“What were we thinking?” Ren hisses to Sera, not as quietly as she probably thinks she’s being. “Why did we sit here?”
Sera just continues giggling. “She’s too good.”
Leliana eyes them both a beat longer than necessary. Something that should be unnerving, but Sera doesn’t seem to notice or care. And, even as flustered as she is right now, the Herald has yet to find the spymaster frightening.
“Wait, she must’ve heard me talking about her,” Ren says hurriedly. “I’m not that whiny, really, I’ve been drinking is all.”
Leliana can’t tell if they can make out her features in the darkness, even with the moonlight and candles lit nearby, but she still makes a show of looking to the side and thinking. “We can talk about it tomorrow, if you wish.”
“I… yeah, okay.”
Leliana nods once and turns to leave. “Don’t stay up too late.”
“Come play with us next time, you owl.” Sera says. “Bet you’re a funny drunk.”
It’s only because her back is to them that Leliana allows the little smile that creeps up on her. “I’m not sleeping with either of you.”
After a small pause she hears Sera muttering, “But that wasn’t a no to drinks, was it?”
--
Sera pops up by her tent a little more after that, when she’s not out in the field. Leliana wouldn’t call them… friends, really; Sera certainly doesn’t go to her as often as she does Renegade or Cassandra. But if she has information or requires assistance from an advisor, she comes to her much more than to Cullen or Josephine. “Ugh, they’re boring,” she says when Leliana asks why, as if it’s that simple.
It’s slowly, quietly, becoming common for Leliana to find a note on her desk signed “red jenny,” requests to be discussed at the war table.
(Leliana remembered a friend of red jenny. It was vague, something she hadn’t thought about in years, until Sera’s unexpected arrival had jogged her memory. She must’ve laughed or smiled or looked wistful in some way the first time she heard it, because the next time she did – at the war table where Sera had requested the retrieval of a very bizarre, bee related weapon – the Herald mysteriously grinned right at her and picked up her marker, asking her if she wanted this one.
Leliana thought about it for a moment, then said yes for no sentimental reason whatsoever.)
Sometimes she thinks Sera just wants to watch her, but she disappears as soon as they make eye contact. Leliana doesn’t mind. She’s no stranger to simply watching people and getting a feel for them. Whatever Sera’s reasons are, they’re no matter to her.
When Sera seeks her out with apparent purpose, it’s not long after Redcliffe and the supposed time magic debacle. They have the rebel mages, and with luck it won’t be long until the Breach is closed. For once, Leliana is not at her tent, but in the rarely used room she shares with Cassandra and Josephine. Sometimes she needs a break from the cold, a warmer place to think and pray in peace. She’s just about to leave and return to her duties when she hears footsteps.
“There you are. You weren’t in your spot.”
Leliana looks over her shoulder. Sera is standing in the doorway nervously shifting from foot to foot. Not surprising, she’s been on edge for days now. “You need me?”
“I…” Sera’s hands twitch as she sways a little. “I wanted to ask you... not to be mad at Lady Herald.”
Leliana huffs. Of course. That’s the second time Sera was mildly involved when she and Renegade were having a tiff. (…She shouldn’t say it like that, as if they were married.) Understandable given their friendship, but not needed this time. Yes, Leliana was very upset at Adaar’s harsh decision with the mages… but they were talking about it. They would be able to work something out.
“I’m not mad, Sera.”
“You just didn’t see her, is all,” Sera continues. “I don’t think… she wasn’t thinking, she was just… so mad.”
“Sera,” Leliana says firmly, and Sera flinches slightly. “You don’t have to worry about it. We’ll figure out what to do with the mages, she and I.”
“Don’t wanna talk about the mages,” Sera scoffs. “Done enough of that already.”
“Ah, yes. You don’t care much for mages, do you?”
“Maker, I always gotta explain this, don’t I?” Sera groans, a little louder than she may have meant to. She looks behind herself to the main hall of the Chantry, then steps into the room and closes the door, leaning against the wood.
“Careful, that’s how rumors begin.” Leliana says. She stands and walks to sit on the bed closest to the door instead of her own. Clearly Sera was looking for more than a simple favor for her friend. So, she’ll listen.
“Only when you’re the one starting them,” Sera says absently. Leliana doesn’t show it – she hopes – but she’s finding herself constantly surprised at how easily Sera trades wit with her. She’s not wrong; people are more likely to think Sera’s just rooting around to cause some mischief. Sera continues, “I don’t have a problem with mages, my problem is always magic. Why is that so hard to get? Magic is what’s caused all this! If it weren’t for magic, we –” She stops herself.
Leliana chooses not to press Sera on mages, as much as she’d like to; there were simply certain issues Sera utterly refused to talk about for more than a few seconds. Instead she asks, “Did you perhaps want to talk about something other than the Herald?”
Sera averts her eyes, her fingers tapping against the wood. “… Y’know, she doesn’t like it when we call her that… we should probably stop.”
“Sera.”
Sera presses her back further against the door and wrings her hands. “Do you think it was all real? All of… all of what they said?”
Leliana has been asking herself that since she had first gotten the reports about Redcliffe. It certainly seemed unlikely; time magic was simply not a thing. And yet Ren had no reason to lie about it, there was no gain. (Their newest mage companion, from Tevinter of all places, was another story… but he seemed trustworthy enough, for now.) The hug she’d given Leliana when she’d returned hadn’t been one of her usual bear hugs, it was pure and desperate relief. Clearly something had shaken the otherwise carefree Adaar to her core.
“I suppose it was,” Leliana answers.
That doesn’t seem to appease Sera. “So you think it could all be true?”
Leliana’s brow furrows. Did they not just establish that? “…Y-yes?”
“You died!” Sera’s voice cracks, and Leliana only gives away that she’s startled by a few blinks. “I… I died.”
“Oh! No, no,” Leliana says hurriedly, “I’m sorry, I misunderstood. I believe what happened to Adaar and Lord Pavus is true, but that doesn’t mean it will happen.”
“But… it did happen….”
“We can’t say if the future is set in stone, no?”
Sera swallows hard and doesn’t look convinced. Leliana sighs and gestures an offer for Sera to come sit beside her. Sera hesitates, but accepts. She sits stiffly, but her hands twist in her lap and one of her foot shakes. Neither of them look at each other. “Why come to me?” Leliana asks.
“Is ‘come sit’ knifey speak for ‘go away’ now?”
“I apologize. Humor me.”
Sera huffs hard through her nose. “Cassandra likes to pretend none of it matters, Vivvy and I don’t talk, and Ren just… doesn’t? You’ve seen her right? She just sits out in the cold and thinks about it all day. Don’t really know that Tevinter guy…. You’re the only other one who was there, really.”
Leliana can’t help but wonder who else had been captured but simply hadn’t been seen by Adaar or Pavus. She doesn’t want to think about that right now. “You know I wasn’t actually there, yes?”
“I know that,” Sera mumbles grumpily. “I wasn’t either.” She pauses and seems to think something over. “We’re the only ones Ren saw die before she came back…. Does that worry you?”
“We all die someday, Sera.” Sera winces. Alright, clearly realism was not what she was looking for here. You have to be tactful with this one. Leliana clears her throat. “As I said to Adaar, I’m not afraid to die for the sake of the world. I am but one life.”
Sera slumps forward and looks down at her hands in her lap. “I guess in the future, I’m not afraid either…”
Leliana inhales slowly. “You’re not going to die… and neither am I.”
“It happened once.”
“I don’t believe time works like that. Or are you afraid our destinies are now intertwined?”
Sera scoffs and glances at her. “Ugh, I hope not. No offense, you’re probably good, but creepy birds aren’t my type.”
Leave it to Sera to turn any situation into some kind of innuendo. She ignores it. “Do you think Adaar would ever let us die?” Sera shakes her head. “And look at it this way. That future only happened because she disappeared. But she’s here now. It’s already different.”
Sera mulls that over for a moment before her eyes widen. “But what if something happens to her now?”
Leliana smiles gently. “You’ll just have to have a little faith in her. You can do that, yes?”
Sera nods. “Yeah, I trust her.”
“Good. Hold on to that.”
“… I guess you’d know a lot about faith, yeah?”
Leliana tries to hide her cough and hopes it sounds like a noise of affirmation. If Sera notices, then she hides it well, as she simply sits there, hands tapping on her legs. Before Leliana has time to stew in her own thoughts, Sera stands with a small bounce. “Yeah, I’m gonna go sit with her. Maybe she won’t wanna talk, but it’s better than nothing, inn’it?”
“Yes…” Leliana says with a small sigh.
“Right, good, I’m gonna go. Thanks, blackbird.” And she goes to leave, as simple as that. A fascinating little character. Leliana can’t tell if she fixed Sera’s problems at all, but her mind seems more at ease, and that’s something…. It feels nice. As Sera opens the door, she bumps into a quite startled Josephine. “Bye, Lady Ruffles,” she says and she’s gone.
“Oh..?” Josephine blinks after her, then turns to Leliana. “I was wondering where you were. Have you made a new friend? How lovely.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Leliana waves dismissively. “She merely needed advice.”
“With what?”
“It seems she was afraid she and I were destined to die together in a year.”
Josephine tilts her head, looking absolutely confused. “As in.. i-in marriage?”
It’s only because this is her friend that Leliana finds herself doing some kind of double take. “What? No. Josie.”
Josephine holds up one hand and smiles apologetically, coming to sit beside her. “I’m sorry, I hear ‘together in death’ and I think ‘death do us part.’”
Leliana grunts a noise that sounds much too much like Cassandra for her liking. “Still ever the romantic, I see.”
“You two would make an interesting pair,” Josie says. Leliana makes the noise again, longer and deeper in her throat. Josephine laughs and places a hand on Leliana’s knee. And even though it’s covered by armor, she gives it a squeeze. “You won’t die next year, will you?”
Josie says it almost more like a statement than a question. “Of course not.”
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