My dad after tasting the bolognese we made: "You know what we need more of."

Both of us simultaneously:

"Don't say more oregano."

"More oregano."

Jin Guangyao supervises a-Fu and a-Ling's first sleepover while Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue are night-hunting

[Well, this was SUPPOSED to be just fluffy, but that’s a little hard inside of JGY’s head]

A-Fu bounded his way into the room and flung himself into Jin Guangyao’s arms with such force that it nearly knocked him over. “Oof--my child, please--” he chuckled as he caught him and A-Fu rubbed his face all over the embroidered Sparks Amidst Snow peony on the front of his robes, likely wiping his snot off on it. His clothes were still cold and damp from their flight.

“We--” A-Fu reared his head back, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. “Are gonna stay up all night!”

A-Yuan appeared to have stayed behind by Lan Xichen’s side, because the pair made their entrance at a more measured pace as Lan Xichen reminded, patiently, “While the rules of Carp Tower may be different than Cloud Recesses, staying up all night is not good for you.” 

Rather shyly, A-Yuan bowed in greeting to Jin Guangyao and he nodded back, smiling down at the boy. It had always been vaguely amusing to him that A-Yuan had more patience and decorum than A-Fu, who was born a Lan. One had to wonder if it was the influence of the slightly more rowdy Nie Clan exposure or simply innate. “Seeing how I am the one watching you and I cannot stay up all night, I’m going to have to disagree with you, Fufu,” Jin Guangyao slotted his gentle negation right alongside Lan Xichen’s and braced for the inevitable pout.

Instead, he received a sunny smile. “Oh, okay, then you’ll just go to bed at the Lan time and we’ll stay up to help the sun rise!”

A-Yuan was looking between the adults with a rather furtive smile, as if trying to silently communicate that he did not, in fact, condone this plan and would not like to be a part of the repercussions. Jin Guangyao grinned and hefted A-Fu over to his side to brace him on his hip, his back beginning to complain. “Ah, what a creative set of ears you have, Fufu--we say ‘you’re not staying up all night’, and yet they hear ‘you’re allowed to stay up until sunrise’! Truly remarkable.”

Quite dramatically, A-Fu sighed and smushed his hands up onto Jin Guangyao’s face, smearing his cheeks around. “Dieeee, don’t be a party pooper, it’s our first Jin sleepover with all of us!”

Gently, Jin Guangyao shook his face free of his cold fingered grasp and turned toward Lan Xichen to receive the kiss to his forehead. Despite A-Fu beginning to wiggle, he leaned into it, let himself inhale the scent of ozone-sky, clean wind, and sandalwood that clung to his robes and hair. The habitual tension torqued at his core loosened, like a sigh. “Easy trip? You’re not too tired after carrying them both, are you?”

Lan Xichen chuckled, slid to kiss his temple. “I’m fine, A-Yao. I’m sorry again for the short notice--Wangji is off on his own night hunt and this cannot wait.”

Shaking his head, Jin Guangyao smiled. “It’s no trouble. A-Ling is very excited.”

“And you?”

“Also very excited--ah!” A-Fu made a lunge off of his hip, not being content to simply wiggle his displeasure at being kept from pelting about and Jin Guangyao had to stoop to catch him before he hit his head on the ground. “A-Fu!” The boy froze, guiltily, and let himself be lowered down to his feet. Jin Guangyao crouched down and straightened his robes and headband with little tugs to lessen the sting of his scolding, brushing his hair back over his shoulder. “Patience is valuable. You’ll hurt yourself that way.”

As soon as no more admonishments came, A-Fu brightened immediately. “You wouldn’t drop me. A-Yuan!! Let’s go find A-Ling!”

Darting away, he seized A-Yuan’s wrist and dragged him out and down the hall, already excitedly chattering about the plans of the night as Lan Xichen chuckled and shook his head, winding an arm about Jin Guangyao’s waist when he rose. “Good luck. He couldn’t keep still the entire trip and told me the same thing when I reminded him that dropping from my arms in the sky was a bad idea.”

“Aiya,” he shook his head and, since they were alone, turned inside his embrace and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m sure it will be fine,” he murmured against him. “But you will be careful, yes?”

“Mm,” Lan Xichen tilted his head, pressed a firmer, more complete kiss against his lips, slipping his arms fully around him before pulling back to smile down at him. “I always am. Da-ge will be with me.”

With practiced ease, he swept aside the tangle of anxiety, old hurt, regret, and darker things the mention of Nie Mingjue bubbled inside his gut and smiled back. “Of course.”

The boys were already fighting by the time Jin Guangyao found them in Jin Ling’s toy room down the hall--something about the colors of toy swords--but quieted down fairly quickly when he mildly suggested that perhaps they wouldn’t need more sugar after dinner because they were already so lively. Eating went well, as both A-Ling and A-Fu were too busy inhaling food like they were starving and A-Yuan was making like a good Lan child and not talking during meals. He contented himself watching them dart around afterward, announcing in grandiose little voices the various heroes they were and what monsters they were battling. Without direct adult interference, A-Yuan grew a little more vibrant and playful, and though he never reached the same volume of the other 2, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Soon, Jin Guangyao faded into the background for them like so much furniture. He smiled as he watched them play. It was funny how sometimes it worked on children as well as adults. 

That is, until A-Ling twisted around like he suddenly realized something. “Hey, you’re a hero of the Sunshot Campaign, right, shushu?”

Jin Guangyao blinked and smiled. “Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as to say all that.” Modesty was a good trait to teach your children. In any case, his father would certainly agree with his hedging and Madam Jin would certainly take exception if her grandson began calling such a bastard a hero in her presence. “Most people of my generation were a part of the Sunshot Campaign. Why do you ask, A-Ling?”

“Well, you just seem so normal.”

Jin Guangyao did not let the slightly darker, wry humor he felt coil in his chest bleed into his perfectly reasonable smile. “I’m pleased that you think so.”

“But heroes aren’t normal, though, they’re heroes,” A-Fu seemed to understand whatever A-Ling was failing to adequately explain. “They aren’t moms and dads and stuff.”

“What should they be instead, then, A-Fu? Simply stories?”

His son squinted his eyes at him, like he was solving a particularly difficult equation and looked over at A-Yuan and back. “But...you didn’t have...like...sleepovers and things, right?”

Jin Guangyao was silent for a moment, keeping his expression perfectly balanced. There had never been another child to whisper the night away with. No adult in the corner to watch him play. Nights were not a time for fun. “No, A-Fu, I didn’t. But plenty of others have.”

A-Fu cocked his head. “Why not?”

Jin Guangyao smiled. “Why don’t we see if the cook has any sweet buns leftover? I know she baked them fresh this morning.”

After the hunt and acquisition of their prize and after the children had licked their hands clean, A-Fu looked up at him with a few crumbles of sugar stuck to the tip of his nose and said, “You can be part of the sleepover if you want, though, die, ‘cause this is our first one all together too!”

Heart pinching, flooding with warmth, he reached out and brushed the little crystals off with his thumb, tilting his head. “So thoughtful, xiao-Fu. I wouldn’t want to spoil your fun.”

“You’re fun, die! Right, A-Yuan?”

With a shy smile, A-Yuan nodded. “I liked when you taught us about the plants in the woods, that one time.”

The time in question had been more than 2 years ago when they were quite a bit younger, not too many months after the boy had recovered fully from his illness to be well enough to leave the Hanshi where he was staying with Lan Xichen and A-Yuan for extended periods of time. Even as A-Fu screwed up his face in confusion, the strange buzz of realization that he lived in the minds of these children in ways he did not control rushed through Jin Guangyao. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know this, cognitively or as if this wasn’t true of everyone, but...when they were small and unsteady on their feet, still learning the ways of the world and the words for things, one forgot to consider them people on the way to becoming themselves. Recording and collecting moments that were inconsequential to their grown ups. When he considered his own childhood, there wasn’t a boy who lived there, but himself, as he ever was, reflected back through time, the story written and unyielding. He had never felt particularly like a child.

And yet, here was a boy who remembered him fondly from an insignificant walk from some recordless day for pointing out a few edible plants along a path. 

He found himself wondering if his mother had ever been taken out of her own head for a moment, watching him watch her, not knowing the picture she painted across his memory. For good or for ill. 

Always good.

He blinked back to himself and made sure to smile at A-Yuan. “I’m glad.”

“I don’t remember that,” A-Fu complained just as A-Ling said, “I didn’t get that! Shushu, tell me about plants!” 

That startled a genuine laugh out of Jin Guangyao and he knelt down. “I’m no expert, but in the morning, what if I took you all out to the gardens and told you about some of the plants that we have growing here in Carp Tower? Would you boys like that?”

The answering, competitively loud yells of YES from both A-Fu and A-Ling had him wincing but A-Yuan’s eager nod made him smile. 

There was whining and stalling at bedtime, misuse of soap, and a hastily declared armistice of a mutinous pillow fight because there are lanterns in here, A-Ling, you know better, but, finally, they were tucked in, 3 dark little heads on the pillow with the blanket pulled up to their chins. “Are we going to greet the sun?” Jin Guangyao asked with knowing patience, kneeling beside their bed, leaning with his elbow in his own nightclothes.

“Nooo?” A-Fu widened his eyes, as if his own father didn’t know when he was trying to be innocent.

Smoothing a palm over his forehead, bare of its headband, Jin Guangyao raised his eyebrows. “What happens if I find you trying to stay up to greet the sun, A-Fu?”

“Youuuu...join us!”

Jin Guangyao blinked slowly, smile still fixed on his face. A-Fu sighed grumpily. “I probably have to clean dishes for a month or something.”

“Or something,” he agreed. “I’ll leave it up to your blue father.”

A-Ling snickered as A-Fu stiffened. “Nooo, don’t tell him!”

“Then I will advise you, Fufu, to not do it at all,” he replied indulgently, stroking his thumb between his eyebrows.

Tucked in the middle so the other two didn’t fight, A-Yuan piped up, saying, “I won’t let them, bo-fu.”

When A-Yuan gave him a smile, he felt his own soften without his say so--but here, with uncalculating eyes and sleepy shadows, he supposed that was alright. He reached over and patted A-Yuan’s round cheek, resisting the illogical parentally-encoded impulse to pinch them. “Thank you, A-Yuan.” Then, he reached farther to do the same for A-Ling. “Goodnight, boys. Sleep well.”

As Jin Guangyao rose and moved to the door, A-Fu chirped, “Love you.” He paused as the other 2 echoed the same words, like A-Fu had reminded them of an important ritual. 

Drawing in a deep breath around his suddenly tight throat, he turned back and smiled. “Love you, too.”

Promises

Katniss made a promise she couldn’t keep.

1930s Everlark in an orphanage. Angst

Trigger: Abuse

Ao3: x

The sun is beating down on my sunburned face when I spot the familiar black Cadillac sitting in the driveway. I stand there for a moment, my basket of gardening tools clutched in my hands, as I stare at the car. I know this car. It’s the same one Prim and I rode in coming to this horrid place.

 “Mr. Heavensbee?” I question aloud, walking toward the driveway in a daze. What is he doing here? Is it for business?

“Katniss!” Sister Effie shrills, breaking my trance. My head snaps in the nun’s direction and she points to the rose garden where I’m supposed to be helping with pruning. I sigh, looking back at the car once more, before trudging back to the garden where the rest of my group works diligently. We were promised a special treat if Father Snow approves of our work and it wasn’t often we were rewarded, so we all took our tasks more seriously today.

My knees groan in protest as I sink to the ground to inspect the lower branches for anything dead. Days like today were my least favorite to work in, where the sun is merciless and the heat doesn’t let up for a second. Gardening the extensive gardens at St. Thomas’ makes me feel forty times older than my thirteen-year-old self ought to feel.

I’m cutting away dead branches when a hand caresses my back. I jump, squeaking at the touch, and turn to see a grinning Peeta standing next to me with the basket of branches we’ve been collecting for burning. My eyes squint as I look up at him and smile back.

 “Care to help the needy?” he jokes in a creaky ol’ beggar’s voice, shaking the basket with a hunched back. “You, miss,” he acknowledges me, “please help the needy, or rot in Hell for all your sins!”

I cover my mouth to hide my laughter, glancing over to see if Sister Effie had heard, but she sits, unfazed, under an umbrella she’d set up earlier this morning to supervise us, fanning herself, and I hand him my branches.

“That’s quite the punishment,” I play along. “Going to Hell for not giving you my branches.”

“Oh, God watches all, wretched child,” he continues in the voice, and we both duck behind the rose bushes to cover up our laughter before someone sees.

“You’re so lucky you get to go inside,” I whisper once we’ve calmed down. “I’m going to have a burnt head for weeks.”

“Hardly,” Peeta scoffs, popping his head up and deciding to take a break while I continue pruning. “Coin is there each time I go into the shed, inspecting everything I dump into the pile. It’s annoying.”

I nod, imagining the coolly composed woman standing watch as Peeta and the other select boys brought in their baskets of branches and dead leaves, closely inspecting each branch with the same critical cruelty she holds when inspecting our daily chores. “She’s like God, only worse!”

“Don’t ever compare that woman to God, Katniss. It’s insulting.”

I continue pruning the dead roses, their snow white petals wilting as I work while Peeta fans himself with his hand, complaining how it’s not fair that the boys are forced to wear pants in the humid summers while the girls got to wear dresses. I point out how I’m always cold in the winter time, but that doesn’t stop him from complaining over how unfair it is. We get into a tiny spat before Sister Effie starts to voice how our piles are gathering up. “Peeta? Has anyone seen Peeta?”

“Duty calls. I’ll see you in the kitchens,” he hisses before grabbing his basket and running to the next row over.    

Carefully, so he won’t see me, I pop my head out and watch him run over to Annie Cresta’s pile. Peeta could complain all he wanted about the boys’ uniform, but I, well I kind of liked them. I liked how snug his shirt was against his broadening shoulders and the way the short sleeves seemed to bring out the small muscles he was gaining from working in the kitchens for so many years. His animated smile that I see in every dream he stars in is on his face, laughing at a joke Annie must have told him, and the small butterflies I’ve been feeling for weeks now flutter again. I know it’s a sin to be looking at him when I’m supposed to be working on my chores, but God won’t mind my looking for another second, right?

A blood curdling scream howls from the house, breaking my focus, and we all pop our heads up in its direction, wondering who Coin’s latest victim is this time. Screaming only worsens your punishment, so I have to give the victim credit for taking a chance, especially if the car does belong to Mr. Heavensbee, and that’s when it hits me.

The last time I heard that scream I was seven years old at the Hawthornes’, trying to help my mother drag a screaming Prim to the car, screaming how she didn’t want to leave Rory, the second-oldest Hawthorne son who was the same age as her. Prim didn’t have many friends at home since we lived with my dad’s parents in an older neighborhood than the Hawthornes, and Rory and Prim had clicked instantaneously. She begged and begged for Mama to leave her there, screaming when she was told no, and I remember pinching my ears closed, trying to block out the piercing sound. Wishing she would stop.

Before registering why she could be screaming, I bolt from the rose garden, ignoring Sister Effie's threats, and run through the back door, trying to target where the screaming is coming from.

What did Prim do to get Coin’s attention? Didn’t I always tell her to blend in? That standing out was a bad thing here?

The screaming sounds like it’s coming from the foyer, an area we are forbidden from entering unless scrubbing the floors and dusting furniture. Prim must have been curious about something and gone in there. I run toward the sound, sweat burning my eyes, and there at the bottom of the stairs, holding onto the door frame for dear life, is my sister. Mr. Heavensbee is pulling at her to follow him, insisting they’re going to be late for their train. Prim continues to scream, telling him she doesn’t want to leave.

“I want to stay! Please let me stay!”

“Now, now,” Mr. Heavensbee consoles impatiently, “Child, we’re going to be late, and your new family is waiting. Remember how much you liked them?”

Her screaming continues and I have to shout over it, hoping she hears me.

“Prim?” my voice cracks. “Prim!” I race down the stairs, almost tripping on my own feet. Did he say she’s leaving? A new family? But what about me; didn’t he promise we’d stay together? 

She looks up, her eyes puffy with tears, and yanks free of Mr. Heavensbee, running into my open arms. I run my hand down her sweaty hair, shh-ing and telling her everything is going to be alright.

“I don’t want to leave,” she cries into my dress, clinging onto me so tightly I fear she may break a rib.

“Who says anything about leaving?” Looking up at the large man, I ask what’s the meaning of this.

He opens his mouth, stuttering out a response, when a cold voice sharply replies: “That is not how a child speaks to an adult.”

My arms stiffen around Prim’s body as I look over my shoulder at Madame Coin standing on the bottom step, her bony hand clutching a small bag I recognize as Prim’s belongings.

No... No! She can’t!

“You’re sending Prim away?” I pray this isn’t true, that God is playing a cruel prank on me.

“Primrose has the opportunity for a better life,” Coin sniffs.

“She’s my sister!” I turn to Mr. Heavensbee. “You promised we’d stay together! You promised!” Tears of betrayal start to fall as I cling to my little sister. “You told me you’d make sure we’d stay together!”

He nervously traced the bushy mustache and glanced at his watch again. “Things change,” he tells me. “You can never tell in this profession.”

“But you promised!”

A sharp tug of my braids breaks my grip on Prim; Coin’s arm holding me in her clutches as Heavensbee captures Prim. I fight with all my might, knowing the consequences of acting out like this will be severe, but he promised! I promised! We would stay together after Mama and Papa passed.

“It’s been a pleasure having you under God’s house,” Madame Coin states with false sincerity. “May you find grace under your new roof, Primrose Williamson.”

I can barely see I’m crying so hard as the realization that my sister is leaving forever hits me. I’ll probably never see her again. “Prim! Prim!” I break out of the witch’s grasp and run outside to the car, begging Mr. Heavensbee to take me, too. “I’ll cook, clean,” I beg. “I’ll do anything to stay with Prim, Mr. Heavensbee. Just—please, let me go with you.”

He peels my hands off his suit, pushing me into the grass, and gets into his car. I watch in a teary blur as my sweet little sister drives farther and farther away until finally, the car is completely out of sight. My heart cracks to pieces. My body numb. The world spins and breaks all at once.

My eyes break away from the driveway and target the group of children peeping out by the side of the house, even a few curious nuns joining them. I try to compose myself, to brace myself for the inevitable punishment that is waiting for me inside, but all I can do is gasp for air, curling my arms around my legs. My little Prim is gone. She’s going to a new family. Without me. I truly am alone now.

“What do you think you children are doing?” Madame Coin snaps at the audience, shooing them with her cane. “Be gone and finish your chores, or God will punish you for meddling in others' business!”

I see Peeta in the crowd, his recent growth spurt making him a few inches taller than the other children, and my stomach sinks so low I’m sure the Devil can see it. This is my punishment for looking at a boy. Madame Coin, and even Father Snow, always insisted that we do not look. It is a sin to look when we were put on this earth to serve. I looked and lost my sister. I’m sure He’s laughing from above at my foolishness.

My eyes avert to my too small shoes, hoping everyone would just leave me be so that I can be punished and sent back to work.

“That was quite a scene you exhibited, child.” I know I should look up—children must look up to their superiors—but the thought of that woman’s cruel smirk at the sight of my tears made my blood boil.

“I apologize, Madame,” I hiccup, running my hand across my snotty nose. “She’s my sister.”

“Was,” Coin corrects and I do look up now, rapidly blinking as my eyes adjust to the bright sun hitting her light blonde hair. “She’s no relation to you now and I suggest you remember that. You lost all relations the moment your parents dropped dead.”

She was trying to get to me, wanting me to say something that would cause a bigger punishment than I could ever imagine, and I should keep my mouth shut and falsely accept her statement, but a little voice inside my head reminds me that lying is worse than a beating. 

“Pardon me, Madame Coin, but aren’t we all God’s children? Doesn’t that mean we’re all related?” I regret the words the moment they leave my mouth. A lie would have been better.

“You insolent little girl!” she growls, reeling back her cane. I instinctually cover my face, praying to God for how sorry I am and for Him to please make the beating bearable. I don’t want to limp like Peeta, or flinch at every sound like Clove Anderson.

Please, I beg. Make it fast.

The wooden cane never strikes and I peek out from under my arm in surprise and see Coin standing there, a calculated look written on her face.

“Stand,” she commands and I oblige, too curious and confused at what was happening. “I should give you thirty lashes for that scene alone,” and the ball in my throat gets stuck at that. I’ve never received thirty lashes before. “But I’m going to be merciful today. Follow me.”

We walk past the gardens, my chin high in the air as heads cautiously pop up to watch us pass. I don’t know where we’re going, but soon we are close to the woods, about a mile I’d guess from the house. Questions fill my head as I wonder if she’s actually going to kill me out here in the wild, where no one can hear me scream. It’s numbing knowing I wouldn’t put up much of a fight if she did decide to kill me. There’s no point trying, now.

Coin stops in front of a small hut that’s no bigger than our gardening shed and pulls out a ring of keys. She unlocks the door and steps to the side, motioning for me to step in. I peer inside, cringing at the smell, and I know this is my punishment for acting out in front of Mr. Heavensbee and for talking back when I wasn’t supposed to. She’s going to lock me in here.

“Well get in!” And she grabs my collar, shoving me into the dank, dark room. From the smell alone I can tell no one’s been in here for years and I feel around for anything, the tiny hole near the floor supplying no light.  The room is empty. “You will spend 40 hours in here. One hour for every lashing you would have received had I not been in such a good mood. You will repent to the only person out here: God. And when I return, I expect you to recite an explanation on your sins and what you have learned from your time out here. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Madame Coin.”

She closes and locks the door and I am shrouded in darkness. Alone, I can finally cry without worrying about eyes watching, and I cry until God takes mercy on me and I fall asleep.

I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, or how late it is, but a tiny knock on the door alerts me awake.“Who is it?” I demand. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me,” Peeta hisses, knocking again.

I stand up and feel my way to the door. “Peeta? What are you doing here? Did you sneak out?” I accuse, wondering why he always put himself into harm’s way for me.

“What? No! No, Katniss.” I hear him sigh and I lean my head against the wooden door, imagining the way his chest rises, his hands in his hair because he’s agitated. “I brought you some bread and water.” A tray slides through the tiny hole by the ground and I stumble to it, my stomach growling at the knowledge of food. It’s hard to keep myself at bay while eating the single slice of bread, but I manage and take a tiny sip of water, savoring the refreshment I’ve been denied all day.

“Does she know you’re out here?” I ask at last, hoping he won’t get into trouble because of me again.

“She told Annie to bring it, but she’s afraid of the dark and I offered to take the tray instead.”

“Does Coin know you’re out here, Peeta?” I clarify.

He doesn’t say anything for the longest time and I know his answer before he even says it. “She knows you’re being fed, but no, she doesn’t know that I’m the one who’s bringing it to you.”

I sigh and roll onto my back, looking up at darkness. “God’s punishing me.”

“What? No! You can’t believe that, Katniss. Madame Coin is insane. Possessed, I’m sure.”

“I sinned, Peeta, and He took my sister away,” I simply tell him, my voice emotionless. I must have cried longer than I thought. “Prim’s gone because of me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re starting to believe in all that.” His hand finds my arm through the hole and I scoot up so that our hands are holding onto each other. I wonder if this is another sin we’re creating, but holding hands doesn’t seem terrible. I’m sure Jesus held his best friend’s hand and Peeta is the only person I can depend on in this place now.

“I don’t know what to believe.” And that’s all I say until he tells me he has to get back before they lock the doors, squeezing my hand in parting.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” he promises, but I’m beginning to lose hope in promises.

Mini Para: December Flashback.

Rating: R.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Four years before the events of ( Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You ) Events taking place in December of Blaine’s Senior Year and Sebastian’s Junior Year. Blaine (17) Seb(16).

Location: Sebastian’s House. Westerville, Ohio

Info: A glimpse into the month of December ending with Blaine spending the night with Sebastian.

Warnings(PLEASE READ THIS): This para includes non graphic descriptions of sexual situations between minors.  We’ve kept it as YA as possible. We are in NO way trying to spotlight sex between teens, we just wanted to show how natural and comfortable they are together and the progression of their relationship. There will be absolutely no smut written until they’re adults. If anyone feels we’ve taken it too far please let us know and we will fix it.

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine squeezed his mother tightly as she and his father said their goodbyes to him on Saturday morning, two days after Christmas. They were leaving for a weekend belated Christmas and early New Year’s party that his father’s work friend had invited them to and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow evening sometime. Blaine tried his hardest to keep his excitement in check as he waved their SUV off, the light snowfall clinging to his dark hair as he stood there, waiting for them to turn off at the end of the street. He couldn’t believe his absolute luck, he’d been stressing since his stolen moments in his bedroom with Sebastian on Thanksgiving over how he was going to come up with a lie to tell his parents when a week and half ago his dad had announced that he and his mom would be gone for a whole night and it just so happened to be the weekend that Sebastian’s parents would be out as well. He was ecstatic to spend some real alone time with his guy. Ecstatic and so nervous he thought he might throw up or giggle himself into a mad happy fit over it all.

The two of them had already celebrated their Christmas together, exchanging small gifts at Blaine’s house and precisely placed mistletoe kisses against a snowy backdrop that had been so romantic that when Blaine voiced just how romantic he thought it was Sebastian had rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance but then had surprised him by grinning down at Blaine like he was the most important person in the world and pulling him into his arms and kissing him again just to make it all that more romantic for Blaine. He smiled at the memory as he made his way back into his house so he could properly pack for his overnight stay at Seb’s house.

He’d left his small duffle bag empty and tucked away under his bed so that his parents wouldn’t catch onto what he was going to do. He felt a little pang of guilt knowing that they wouldn’t really approve of him spending the night alone over there no matter how fond of Sebastian they’d grown.  But the guilt was short lived as he packed a change of clothes, a pair of pajamas and a few toiletries into his bag- he couldn’t help it, he’d been waiting weeks, probably subconsciously even longer, for this night.

Before he zipped the bag up he made his way over to his nightstand, his fingers twitching nervously as he pulled a newly purchased three pack of condoms out of their hiding place. He was afraid that if he thought about it too much he’d leave them behind. He wasn’t even sure if it would happen, he had a feeling they were on the same page, that Sebastian wanted him just as much as he did, but his nerves always seemed to get the better of him and he was torn. Without looking at them too hard he quickly shoved them into his bag along with a small bottle of lube, tucking them under his clothing, but not before his eyes could catch on the ridiculously bold XXL on the slim package.

The letters seemed to leer up at him and made him feel self conscious and overly embarrassed. He knew he needed them, he’d learned the hard way how uncomfortable the smaller size was for him the few times he’d used them, but it didn’t make him feel any less full of himself. Would Sebastian think he was stupid for getting that kind? Was he being full of himself? He forced himself not to think about it too hard, his hands moving on their own accord to zip his bag up as if that meant he couldn’t still change his mind. He pulled out his phone and opened up the text log between him and Seb- a smile passing over his lips as he read the last text from him. -Can't wait to see you, killer.  Blaine quickly typed out his own message, his fingers a little shaky at the prospect of getting to spend the whole day and night over at Seb’s house with absolutely zero supervision or interruptions. -You’re in luck, they've left. I’m on my way, okay?

Seb had sent back the words- Hurry! But also be safe. And that was really all the prompting Blaine needed. He made sure the house was locked down and left the television on in his living room in a half hearted attempt to throw his neighbors off, they didn’t tend to pay much attention to what he did, but it would be his luck they’d pay attention now and call his parents back or something. Or that was just his nerves talking again. He slung the bag across his chest, hoping it looked more like he were going to go study than like he were spending the night somewhere and got into his SUV, his vehicle seemingly taking him in the direction of Sebastian’s house like it was following an invisible line that connected the two of them so surly. Before he knew it he was there, parked in the long driveway and feeling small as he knocked on the door, his fingers clutching the strap of his back as if it could keep him grounded. Seb’s for Blaine only smile was brilliant as he opened the door to greet him and it took Blaine a second to find his voice.

“Hey you.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian was buzzing with energy. He woke up early, drank a bunch of coffee with his dad’s sugar free french vanilla creamer and ate four pieces of peanut butter toast. He sat on his mother’s bed and helped her pick out her outfits for the trip and packed her bag. Thomas hadn’t noticed Sebastian’s surge of helpfulness and burst of jittery energy but Sabine had. “You seem eager today, Sebastian.”  She stood by the car as Thomas and the maid packed the hatchback trunk of the SUV and she had a knowing glint to her green eyes. “Just here to help, Mom. Have a safe trip.” Sebastian grinned and leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead before he walked backwards into a house that was basically all his. Sure, the maid and the cook would be around but, he and Blaine pretty much had the place to themselves.

He made sure to ask the cook to pick up hot cocoa and pizza ingredients from the store so that they could make themselves a meal, cleaned his room himself (fresh sheets and no dirty laundry anywhere!) stole a few cigarettes (sorry Mom) and bought some condoms from the convenience store he often  passed on his way home. Sebastian took a long, detailed shower and picked out a dark green hoodie and his favorite Dalton LaCrosse sweatpants to wear.  He gave himself a once over in the mirror and smiled to himself. He was positive that they were on the same line, same chapter, same book because they always were. Seb never got this anxious excitement for anybody but the other boy. He had been daydreaming about this night for weeks and his veins were buzzing and his stomach kept jumping. Sebastian shot Blaine a few quick texts and stared at the clock on his phone, he couldn’t wait for him to arrive and he couldn’t sit still.

He was already standing by the door when Blaine had knocked because he had stood by an upstairs window and watched the snow fall as he waited for his car to pull up. Sebastian basically leaped down the stairs  and could have tackled Blaine into the snow right then and there. There he stood, on his porch with his cheeks red and little snowflakes perched on a few curls that started to escape their perfect styling.

“Hey B.” Sebastian smiled before he could catch himself and stood back for the other to step inside. “Do you want to eat first or, hear me out, I found my old sled in the garage the other day. We could go to the hill and try it out.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine couldn’t fight the smile that fought its way onto his lips as he listened to Sebastian speak. He could picture them already, sledding down the hill at the end of Seb’s street- cheeks numb from the cold and from laughing and all at once the idea was something he wanted more than anything he’d ever wanted before. He took his bag from over his body and sat in neatly at the end of the kitchen counter next to an assortment of instant hot chocolate and marshmallows so that he could take it up to Sebastian’s room later on.

His stomach  gave a little flip at the thought, and he wondered when they’d find themselves up there. Would they cuddle on the sofa and watch movies in their pajamas first like this was their home and this was a normal night? Or would they get overly excited and fumble clumsily up the stairs, lips and limbs tangled in two hours? He personally hoped that they took their time, he wanted this day and night to last, he’d been here five minutes and already the thought of leaving was making him feel a silly bit of sadness.

“I would absolutely love to go sledding with you, Seb. I haven’t done that since I was a kid!” He laughed, and reached out for Seb’s hands, taking them into his before pressing a kiss to them. He hoped his lips weren’t too cold. “And then after that we can come back in and I’ll make you the best cup of instant hot cocoa you’ve ever had on top of the best pizza, no second best pizza- the first would be the one I made on your birthday, you’ve ever had and we can warm up.” He pulled Sebastian closer using their linked fingers and wrapped his arms around his neck, his fingers toying with his hairline.

“I promise to keep you warm if you get too cold.  We can do whatever you want, you’ve got me all night long. I’m completely yours.” His smile turned a little shy, his nerves catching up to him before tip toeing up and stealing a kiss from Sebastian’s lips, his fingers scraping lightly through his hair. He let his eyes slip shut as he deepened it just a bit, as if promising Sebastian that he’d keep him warm and that he wasn’t going anywhere. When he said he was his for the rest of the night, he hoped Sebastian knew that he meant so much longer than that. He meant always.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian’s heart fluttered when Blaine tipped up on the tips of his toes to press a kiss to his lips. His stomach flipped in a way that was almost uncomfortable, the sort of dip that happens when you drive down  a hill too fast and gravity catches up before you’ve even realized you were flying down a slope. He had goosebumps all over his arms and legs and a promise that hung tight in the air between the two of them. Seb smiled and felt a thrill run up and down his spine. “I’m a lucky guy.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that.” Sebastian clasped onto Blaine’s hand and pulled him up the stairs. The two of them bundled up in scarves and gloves and earmuffs that his mother kept tidy in a tote in the upstairs linen closet. He wrapped a fluffy hunter green scarf around Blaine’s neck and toyed with the frayed ends for a moment, “I’m all yours,too. For the record.”  He smiled his toothy grin that he kept reserved for the other boy and gave him a quick kiss before troping down the stairs, the two of them laughing all the way to the garage and down to the end of his street.

Sebastian sat down first on the bright orange sled and tapped the plastic in between his legs with a gloved hand, “You get to steer.”  The two of them flew, just barely missed a tree and landed in a heap of laughter at the bottom of the hill. They slid down the hill successfully a few more times before they crashed and rolled into the snow with red cheeks and frozen puffs of amusement as they wrestled playfully and kissed as snowflakes drifted around them.  Sebastian threw the first snowball in a not so serious snowball fight that ended in more kissing and laughing. They decided to head back to the house when Sebastian’s glove started to freeze and his body shook with cold tremors.

“Don’t forget that you promised me the best hot cocoa ever and, you know I think I still need some more warming up.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s skin prickled all over at Sebastian’s words. He wanted to follow up with how lucky he was too, wanted to tell Sebastian that he meant the world to him and tell him just how incredible being with him felt- but Seb was already pulling him the stairs and making Blaine feel like he could do anything by telling him that he was all his, too. Blaine felt an odd sense of belonging as Seb wrapped his green scarf around him. Sure, it had been washed since the last time it had been worn, but there the ghost of Sebastian’s winter scent still clung to the fluff like a kiss. Wearing Seb’s things made Blaine feel like he belonged there, like this life was meant for him. He found he couldn’t stop beaming as they made their way outside hand in hand.

And each slide down the hill, each press of Sebastian’s body pressed against his back as he tried to steer and they flew past glittering trees made Blaine smile bigger and bigger until his face hurt from doing so. The cold adding to his pleasurable discomfort as they kissed in the snow, Seb’s lips tasting like snow and a lingering of forbidden smoke that was absolutely driving Blaine wild. It felt like he was in a book or a movie and again he didn’t want any of it to end.

As they made their way back into Seb’s house, the fireplace roared and warmed his chilled bones instantly. Blaine wasn’t sure who had turned it on, probably one of Sabine’s elusive staff, but it felt magical and Blaine wanted to pull Sebastian in front of it and snuggle into him there. But, he promised he’d make him the best cup of cocoa he’d ever had and he meant to do just that. He made his way through the kitchen, Sebastian’s words about warming him up making his heart flip a little.

“I did promise, didn’t I?” He pulled Seb close and wrapped his arms around him before running his hands up and down his back in an attempt, his lips finding his neck, the pulsepoint spot Seb loved so much and pressing an assortment of kisses there before pulling back. “Better?” He grinned up at the other boy, “There’s more where those came from later, I promise that too.”  He winked and forced himself to pull away before he got too carried away in exploring the gorgeous expanse that was Sebastian’s neck. He didn’t want to rush the day and doing that would for sure rush things.

He cleared his throat and made his way around the Smythe family kitchen like he’d done a dozen times before gathering ingredients for the perfect cup of instant. “Right, so the best cup of instant hot cocoa ever.” He placed a pan on the stove and then put the water in and set it to heat before he pulled down two large mugs and filled them with the powder. He went to the fridge and pulled out the whole milk and set it next to the mugs. He then added the boiled water into the mix and tossed in a few marshmallows. “The key is to add milk to make it creamier and to mix in the bigger marshmallows and just keep adding them as they melt. It’s super sweet but my mom used to make it like this when I was a kid and it’s my favorite. Here, try it. He handed Sebastian his mug and watched as he blew on the liquid before taking a drink. The other boy's smile was all Blaine needed to know he’d done a good job.

The day went on way too fast for Blaine's liking between sips of cocoa in front of the fire and giggling about their sledding mishaps and Blaine pretending not to like the smoke on Seb’s lips that Seb totally saw through- and before he knew it it was evening and they were cuddled up down in their basement, cozy in warm sweats on Seb’s sofa, half eaten plates of Blaine’s homemade pizza discarded to the side so they could kiss each other properly as the sounds of the movie Gremlins (Which kinda scared Sebastian) played in the background. Blaine, needing air, finally pulled back enough to look down at Seb from his spot half on top of him and hovering above him, his leg pushed up and over Seb’s body, his guys cheeks flushed from the earlier cold and from their kissing. He looked fucking gorgeous and Blaine blurted it before he could stop himself. His voice was soft and almost in awe.

“You’re beautiful...”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian sighed and pressed his hands into Blaine’s hips when he felt his lips on his sensitive neck. He laughed , loud and bright though his skin still felt hot from the kisses but Blaine had winked and it seemed like they had switched personalities for a split second. It felt like a perfect moment, the sort of memory that Seb wished he could wrap up and keep close because it was pure and so specifically them.

He watched Blaine make himself at home which gave him a special sort of warm satisfaction. The other boy knew where the pans were, knew the correct cabinet to find mugs. Seb liked to see it, Hunter wasn’t even this familiar with the Smythe house. It felt like Blaine was always meant to whisk into the kitchen and sing and laugh and bake pies and make pizza and hot cocoa. It was the most alive the house had felt to Seb in a long time.

Blaine had set a giant mug of frothy hot chocolate in front of him. “Looks perfect.” He leaned forward and let the steam drift over his cold face for a moment before he blew on it and took a sip. Sebastian smiled and took another drink because of course Blaine could make instant hot cocoa taste like it came from a coffee shop.

The next few hours were a blur of pizza, some weird 80s movie Blaine had picked (the only redeeming quality to Sebastian was the lead actor who was sort of cute.), and kissing until their lips began to hurt and their cheeks were red. Blaine sort of hovered over him, the noise of little gremlins screaming on the tv as he blurted out You’re beautiful and Sebastian blinked a few times, a slow smile spread over his face. He looked up into the other’s big, golden eyes and realized that nobody else had ever called him beautiful before and he felt a satisfied shiver spread its way all over his body. Sebastian didn’t think any words could suffice so he leaned up and kissed Blaine all soft and slow and suddenly it felt like pressure in the room changed. It was the feeling of jumping into the deep end of a pool, sudden and intense, lungs burning and legs kicking to break the surface. The rush of running full speed down the track, every tendon screaming for release. The thrill  of swinging so high on a swing set that it lifted off the ground dangerously with every pump.  His body felt hot and his hands trembled as they knotted in the neck of Blaine’s shirt, his hips ached, he moaned despite himself.

“I think that you should take me upstairs.”

Blaine’s POV:

A shiver and a tingle spread throughout the lower half of Blaine’s body at the sound of Sebastian’s moan and the tone in his voice. All at once he was overwhelmed with want and a desire he’d truly never felt for anyone else before. Every crush or person before seemed like a little insignificant when it came to the way he felt about Sebastian and I love you threatened to surge forward again but Blaine pushed it down and back into his chest next to his heart in favor of giving the other boy a wide eyed nod as he scooted off of him gently and reached down to help Seb up with him. He knew what this meant, he knew what Sebastian wanted and he wanted nothing more than to give it to him. He wasn’t quite sure how he was going to manage to get them both of two sets of stairs without stumbling.

His hands were shaking as he pulled Seb’s shirt up and over his head once they’d managed to make it into his bedroom. His fingers tentatively explored each little freckle, wanting to count them like the stars in the sky. He leaned down and pressed a kiss into a few of them, trying to show Sebastian that he loved how he looked, wanting to get this right, wanting Sebsatian to know that Blaine loved him and his body without saying it outloud. He reluctantly pulled away from Sebastian, his skin instantly missing the contact as he quickly rummaged around in his bag for the small pack of condoms and small bottle of lube he brought and sat them down on the bedside table before moving back to Sebastian and pressing a kiss to his lips to hide his growing blush.

The queen sized bed seemed too large yet inviting as he pressed Sebastian down and into the sheets before crawling up between his legs, his excitement apparent as he pushed his hips against the boy beneath him, his fingers fumbling with the the hem of Sebastian’s sweats and boxers for a moment before managing to push them down and to the ground. Blaine bit his lip as their bare skin touched before ducking his head and kissing Seb so slowly and gently that he thought he’d float away from how fucking good it felt to him. After what felt like hours, kissing and touching like that he finally pulled his head back to look down into green eyes, his voice a nervous whisper.

“ I-...Are you sure this is what you want?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian laughed a little, he had to.  Of course Blaine would ask even as he was flushed and panting underneath him with desperate hands and hips. He loved that about him-his sweet demeanor and how naturally charming and polite he was. God, it made him even crazier for him, that fucking concerned look in his amber eyes and the thoughtful furrow of his eye brows.

“More than anything.”

It all happened so fast. Such a cliche of a thought but it was true. It was all a tangle of hands and mouths and names whispered into hot skin. Sebastian felt satisfied and complete as Blaine pulled him close under his heavy bedspread. His body felt spent and tired and he was sure he could sleep solidly for 12 hours if he let himself but all he wanted to do was trace  his long fingers over Blaine’s torso as he listened  to his heart beat beat beat under his head. Sebastian kept catching himself smiling anytime Blaine spoke or touched him and he wondered if they could live in his bedroom forever, in this little wonderful moment like a snow globe.  He was always mystified by the way Blaine flipped his world upside down and brought all of his feelings to the surface and made him daydream  and laugh and smile and want to be nice. Seb was terrified to put a label on the way he felt but he couldn’t deny it any longer, he loved the kid.  

Sebastian took a deep breath and leaned up on his elbow so he could see the other boy’s face, “Wish you didn’t have to leave in the morning.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine lay there with Sebastian’s head on his chest, his fingers tracing his freckles, the ones he could reach, across his shoulder. The world felt still and the world felt like it belonged to them and Blaine wanted nothing more than to freeze this moment and save it for bad days. Sebastian felt like he belonged here in his arms, and he wondered, not for the first time, how he’d gone so long denying himself this comfort. Blaine swallowed hard, his chest aching and swelling and he was so afraid that if he spoke he’d ruin the moment.

He was so afraid that if he told Sebastian how he felt that Seb would stiffen and maybe ask him to leave and things would be awkward and stressed and while he thought that maybe they were on the same page, on the off chance that Seb turned him away, Blaine thought that might kill him. So he held onto him tightly and whispered to him that he’d  come back over tomorrow night. Told Seb that he just needed to be home when his parents got home so he wouldn't be in trouble. And when they drifted off to sleep together, Blaine was wrapped tightly around the taller boy, his face pressed against the back of his neck, and his arms locked around him as if he’d always fit in that space between Blaine’s arms.

And when he forced himself to leave the next day Blaine made sure to kiss Sebastian extra sweet and long so that he’d know that the night had meant everything to him. That the whole thing, not just the sex, was important and to show Sebastian that he was the reason Blaine felt the happiest he’d ever felt in his whole life. I love you hung silently in the air between them as he stepped out into the December wind and Blaine made a promise to himself that when he came back over tonight he’d tell Sebastian how he felt. So what if it had only been a few months? Who made the rules that you could only fall in love after years? Blaine knew how he felt and he needed Sebastian to know too. He had to have faith that Sebastian would accept it, maybe even say it back. How incredible would that be? How good would that feel?

He was all smiles, his heart singing louder than his voice as he straightened up his house for his mom and dad, his earphones blashing away so loudly he almost missed his phone ringing from his bedroom. And as he raced to pick it up thinking it might be his reason for smiling. That Sebastian’s slow, comforting voice might be on the other end- 

He’d come to wish that he had missed it.

/fin.

Pressure

CAMILA

“Ma…” I dragged my mother's name through vain as she spit questions at me left and right. She’s been on my ass ever since I confided in her about my pregnancy. It’s going on week twenty of my second trimester and life is kicking my ass. Our septic system needs to be replaced and I’m having major construction done to the house so I’m apartment hunting. Jessica offered to let the girls and I stay with her but I can’t. Adding two more children and a third adult into their household is a bit much. Amelia needs one on one attention and I need my personal space. 

I spoke to Andre a few days ago, for thirty seconds and then he promised to call back but never did. Some of our calls get cut short and I get so irrationally sad that I end up crying myself to sleep. I’m losing my mind over Andre’s absence. 

“Camila, stop whining and listen to me. You can be so terca at times. Just like tu papa. Have you asked Divya if you can stay with her?” 

Grunting aloud so she can hear my frustration I dropped the house phone in my lap. Just then I heard my cell phone going off. 

“No, because I found a place this morning. Mira, me tengo que ir, I’ll call you later.” Lying through my teeth I briskly hung up and answered my incoming call. “Hello?” I answered. 

“You have one call from California State Prison. Do you accept the charges?” The machine spoke. 

“I accept.” I said clearly. I listened for that signal to speak, grinning from ear to ear to hear his voice. 

“I am so sorry, love. We had a quarantine and a lockdown at the same time which is why you haven’t heard from me.” He said in a rush. 

“I’m just happy to hear your voice. Are you alright?” I questioned. 

“Yeah baby I’m fine. How are you? Talk to me about everything.” His evenly paced breaths really solidified my peace of mind. 

“Cuánto tiempo tenemos?” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony of not having enough time.

“That bad?” He quieted down telling me he’s not in a joking manner. 

“Si. I’m having major work down to the house and I’m looking for a place to rent out for a while. On top of that, Zoe is sick again. This time I’m not sure what she caught and I’m scared to get sick and then pass it to the baby. But she’s been on one for five days now driving Kenny insane.” I explained. 

“I’d give up everything to be taking care of you ladies. I’m sorry you all are going through so much. You’ve been taking it easy I hope.” 

“Andre, sweetie I’m doing the best I can but it’s hard and I’m extremely worn out. These little girls give me a run for my money sometimes but I’ve learned to love that about them. Don’t get me wrong, they are so loving, caring, and kind-hearted but I’m tired.” I do the best I can to not whine to him about how difficult this situation is for me. Today, I can’t. I need to relieve some of this pressure. 

“I can only imagine how this must be affecting you.” The silence that’s brooding between us gives me anxiety. “Camila, I am so sorry for splitting up this family. I will completely understand if you need to hate me. I will understand whatever decision you make regarding this difficult situation I’ve placed our family in. This is my fault.” His apologetic and never wanting to hurt me attitude is why I can’t seem to be upset for too long. 

“You don’t need to apologize, go me. I just want you to know how I’m feeling. I don’t want you to ever question whether or not I can do this. I don’t want you to doubt my abilities as a mother either. There’s so much to adjust to. We miss you so much and I never want you to forget that.” Needing a deep breath in, I stood up and walked around the room. My sights fanned out over my belly, analyzing the growth of it. 

“How far along are you?” He asked. 

“Twenty weeks, second trimester. The baby has gotten so big. Zoe keeps addressing the baby as “he” because she’s confident that we have a boy coming into the family. I kinda feel like that too. Everyone else is thinking it’s a girl but I’m siding with Zoe all the way.” Talking about the baby gives me mixed feelings. There are times when I’m welcoming of the fact and other times I would trade the baby for Dre. 

We can create life together as long as we’d like to but I can’t replace him. I just can’t. 

“When are you coming back to see me?” I know for a fact this man has some sort of smile or smirk on his face. 

“Whenever you want us too.” Our tones of voice indicate that he and I are on the same page. 

He then says, “Tuesday, come visit on Tuesday. So...what’s the plan for today?” 

I buzzed around again getting ready for the moving truck to come. “Packing up the small stuff and bringing it to our new place. I’ll show you pictures don’t worry. You should talk to the girls before you have to go..” covering the mouthpiece I called out for Kenja and Zoe. 

Walking to the living room I found them sound asleep. Feet touching as usual. 

“Camila, what's wrong?” Andre panicked. 

Holding the phone up to my face again I smiled gently and said, “..nothing is wrong.  The girls are knocked out on the couch. They look so cute. Damn, I wish they were up right now.”

Andre and I talked for a wholesome twenty-five minutes. The downside to this call is that I didn’t get to say ‘I love you too’ before the call dropped. The act triggered me and sent me into a frenzy. Lucky for me, my mom, dad, Dani and Matt came over. Not only to help me with the girls but also to help with the move. 

Going to get the girls up and ready I attempted to get Zoe up first since she’s the lightest sleeper of us all. 

“Levántate ya sweet pea, we have to move today.” Kissing her hairline I turned her over as she began to wake up. 

“Mom, you talk to daddy? Yes?” She spit out without hesitation. 

“Yes I talked to him. He loves you and he can’t wait to see you and your sister. Did you have a good nap mi amor?” Wiping the drool off of her cheek I moved over to Kenja knowing this would be a tad more difficult. “Come on nena, levántate ya por favor.”

Kenja began to squirm and ultimately frowned at me once she had her eyes fully opened up. “Eres muy ruidoso, mom!” She exclaimed. 

“Cuidado, Evelyn. We don’t have time for this now, get up and get moving. Ahora.” Following behind and guiding them to their rooms, I got them ready together. By the time I finished with the girls the trucks had arrived. I traded places with my mom so she could get the girls into her car while I stand aside to supervise everything. 

——— ———

“Urgh my goodness, my body hurts so much. This poor baby has been going at my back relentlessly for hours.” Working through the knot in my lower back I ran my free hand across my belly. 

My mom stopped fanning herself to stare at me. 

 “Ay! Que estás mirando?” 

“You’re acknowledging my grandchild again. Some days I fear you have evil thoughts about this bundle of joy because Andre is not present. I see the way you look at yourself in the mirror and ay bendito it makes me so sad. But this is your baby and your body. I just don’t want you to forget, usted tiene ayuda Camila.” 

My mom prayed over the baby and I, and quietly exited the room. “Tienen hambre nenas?” She joyously sang. 

Rising from the bed I walked to the window, drawing the shades up. The view from this floor is breathtaking. I haven’t seen this type of view in a while. Watching the city below seems slowed down and so far away. 

“You’d love this place..” I whispered aloud. Gliding both palms over my belly I thought about our last visitation. I dreamt of the last night Andre romanced me and ultimately impregnated me. This baby is so much more special than I gave him or her credit for. My fears and anxiety have pushed me too far. Our child is a blessing through the turmoil. I need this baby as a symbol for hope and love. 

This bundle of joy and innocence deserves some attention and care. I could never imagine allowing Andre to discover the evil thoughts I’ve dreamt up like my mom mentioned. 

“I love you so much and I’m so sorry for not treating you better. This is a very difficult time for our familia pero it’s no excuse for my love..” looking down at my baby bump I smiled at the sight of my bare skin housing my unborn baby. “I’ll get myself together and take care of you the way you deserve. Con amor y respeto.” 

“Mommy, Papi is calling! Come on!” Kenja and Zoe yelled, blending their voices together. 

Hurrying out of the room I leveled out my tank top and threw my hands up. “Nenas, we can’t be as loud as we used to be at the house okay? This place is much smaller and we have neighbors close by.” I informed them. 

“Okay, we’re sorry. Talk to daddy.” Zoe shoved the phone to my ear where I could hear Andre speaking but to someone else. 

“Andre?” 

“I’m here baby. Listen I’m so sorry for the noise but these n diggas won’t leave me the fuck alone. How are you? How was the move?” He quizzed. 

“It went good. I’m more exhausted now than I was earlier but I can’t complain about much else. I love you papa but I want you to talk to the girls since you weren’t able to earlier.” I listened to his return of adoration and affection, handing my phone back to the girls. “Ma, you’re more than welcome to stay.” I said, meeting her in the kitchen. 

She smirks and giggles knowing damn well I need her to stay with us tonight. “You can count on that. What are we cooking?” 

Rubbing my belly again just to hear my mother laugh I laid out all of my plans for dinner and dessert. Our first night in this condo will be an adjustment as will the remainder of our time here. 

Mom and I watched the girls load up on two full portions of dinner, still crying for more. After our familial debate my mom volunteered to bathe the kids while I put the remainder of the food away and cleaned the kitchen. 

“Nana, can you stay and help mom? She won’t rest. And she’s super tired.” I heard Zoe say over the sound of Kenja laughing and splashing around in the tub. 

Quietly I set the pots and pans down to hone in on their little talk. Wiping my hands dry, I inched closer to the doorway of their bedroom. 

“Of course I will nena. I’m here to help mommy and you girls as long as I need to. That’s what I’m here for.” My mom said, smiling through her words I can tell. 

“I miss daddy..” Kenja settled down and finally spoke up. My heart split down the middle at her confession. Her speaking on her father’s absence sounds different then the other ‘i miss him’ confessions. 

“Yo sé mamita. I miss him también y I know mom does too. Your dad being gone is difficult on us all. And I’m sure that you girls have questions about why he’s gone and when he will be home..si?” The hope and serenity in my moms voice gives me hope that this tough time will get easier. Or at least we will all come to terms with Andre being away and make the best out of our unfortunate situation. 

“Yes.” The girls said together. “When will he come home? He has to care for mommy and baby brother before it’s too late!” Kenja exclaimed. 

“Ay, tranquila Evelyn. It’s late and that’s no way to speak to tu abuelita. I know and mom knows how much you girls miss your dad. We have to be patient and stay positive. I need you both to be supportive of your mom and tu papa. Don’t give mom a hard time ok? Take it easy on her. With your baby brother or sister still baking, your mom needs you both to take care of her. Come on, let’s get dressed for bed now.” 

Leaning back against the wall I looked around our temporary living quarters in amazement. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be stepping back into the shoes of being a solo parent. I have this urge to cry but I feel selfish for even wanting to. Deciding against being emotional I forced my way back to the dishes to finish up here for the night. 

Once I had my own bath taken and I got dressed for bed I stretched out. The echoes of silence in this room and the loneliness of laying in bed alone is still foreign. I hope I don’t get used to this but I’m afraid I may have to. Turning over to face away from the window I snuggled the body pillow covered by Andre’s favorite sweatshirt. 

I miss the tips of his fingers massaging my scalp. I miss his natural body heat to keep me warm throughout the night. I miss the combination of his soap and the girls knocking me into a blissful sleep. I close my eyes to reminisce on the sound of him speaking softly into my ear about his innermost thoughts. A slight grin bestowed upon my face pretending to feel his lips on my skin, melting me to the core. 

“I pray that you’re alright my love. And I pray that you miss me nearly as much as I miss you.” I muttered to myself. Clutching the pillow a bit tighter I tuned out the rainfall and the scary images in mind to dream of our reunion. 

7 Signs You're Overparenting

Can you be "too good" of a parent? Reader Katherine W. says she's worried she has been overparenting or pampering her kids. "I tried to do the very best I could," she relays, "taking them to parks and interesting places every weekend, reading to them, working in their classrooms and every school event, supervising homework every night, helping with Girl Scouts, driving them to after-school activities, arranging play dates, making family dinners a priority, and on and on." However, Katherine recently noticed that her child's friend, whose parent was not as involved, has grown into a more confident and self-sufficient person. "Did all that effort even make any difference?" How do you know if you're turning into an overbearing parent? If, like Katherine, you're wondering if you should be less involved, here we've rounded up readers' advice on signs that you may be overparenting. 1. You Praise Profusely One of the tell-tale signs that you're being overbearing, instead of balanced, is when you notice yourself giving your child a profuse amount of praise. While children need encouragement, parents can go overboard, for instance, when they have an "unconscious, incessant need to praise and reward their kids," says a reader who calls herself "Chatty." She explains: "I think the only time extra praise is warranted is when children are very young; babies and young toddlers have to learn what is appropriate and what isn't, and praising them in an excitable manner when they master a new skill or act in an appropriate or desirable manner helps them to learn. But, if you're over the top and praise them every single time they do something, especially when it's repeatedly for the same thing they've already mastered and done 1,000 times, it's doing them a huge disservice." As an example, Chatty says when first potty training her daughter, she and her husband gave her lots of "high-fives" and "good jobs." But once her daughter mastered the toilet, she "opened a dialogue with her about how it made her feel to be able to go to the washroom on her own." 2. You Offer Too Many Material Rewards Similar to offering an abundance of praise, some parents spoil their children with too many material things. Stephanie Y. came to this realization when one year her 9-year-old son "clearly expressed his utter disappointment in his Christmas gifts. He explained that he didn't get what he really wanted and poo-pooed what he did get," she remembers. After unsuccessfully trying to impart a lesson about the spirit of Christmas, Stephanie realized she had been giving her children way too much. "I am the mom that would carry my kids' backpack for them, or buy the toy to bribe them to be good in the store! I needed to change, be more of a parent." Vowing that her children would never be ungrateful at Christmas again, she reduced the gifts her children were receiving all year round, and also reduced her children's candy consumption, so that they would learn to appreciate Halloween, too. Charlotte R. is another mom who believes "kids these days have way too many things. When I was growing up we had one phone for the whole house and we had to limit our time to share with everyone. We never got to just sit on the phone and call our friends all the time, because we had household chores to do and our homework and getting ready for school," she says. 3. You Have Low Expectations With the rigors of school and extracurricular activities, sometimes parents are hesitant to give their children too many responsibilities. But an ill-fated result of not expecting a lot from your children is that parents might do too much for their kids. Setting low expectations while assuming there will be big rewards is especially a common occurrence in school. 4. You Dole Out Few Responsibilities Setting expectations for your children includes holding them accountable for age-appropriate responsibilities, members add. From a very young age, Ellen B. says, "many kitchen tasks are fair game," and that kids are capable and often willing to bring their dishes to the sink when done, set the table, take the garbage out, and help cook. "And, yes," she adds, "teach them to clean up their messes." Once parents "get over the perception the only you can get things done on time, you will find training them is a time-saver." Increasing responsibilities and "doing less for them can give them the best possible chance" at becoming self-sufficient, independent adults, mom Ellen explains. "The more children learn to do tasks and make good decisions on their own, the better odds they have of living a productive life," she says. When you educate your children about their responsibilities, just be sure they understand that they're not being asked to do things because "'mommy is task master,' but rather [because] 'we live together, and share both the work and the pleasure of having our own home,'" Lisa R. notes. 5. You Repeat Yourself Frequently Once they assign responsibilities, overbearing parents often make the mistake of repeatedly telling children what to do. But parents are not raising robots that should follow every order, mom Angelique A. says. She admits she is sometimes guilty of this with her 14- and 15-year-olds and finds herself constantly telling her own children "to do this and that." She adds: "I mean when will it register that if you see something that needs to be done, just do it?" Still, Angelique knows she needs to lay off if she wants to raise responsible adults. "I was taught independence at a very young age. When I had to, I knew what to do when my parents were away." 6. You Help Without Being Asked Most parents would help their children at the drop of a hat, but several readers advise that parents would be wise to step back and wait to offer help until children ask for it. As a teacher, Pamela W. says she sees today's parents doing too much for their children when it's not necessary. "I see parents carrying their children's backpacks for them, etc., around the school campuses. I also see far more moms and dads who accompany their children into the classroom at the kindergarten level and spend time before the bell rings," she says. "It's hard not to helicopter," Shawnn L. admits. But as someone who works at a university, she doesn't support it: "It is extremely frustrating to watch [parents] be overbearing and [make choices] for adult freshman student[s]. It is extremely frustrating to speak to the student and have the parent answer. It is even more frustrating to watch a student make excellent choices with regards to his/her studies, only to see the parent undermine every choice because they either weren't involved enough, or didn't agree." Lucy L. summarizes: "Don't do something for your child that he or she is capable of doing for themselves." On the other hand, when parents let children make more decisions and help themselves, they often find that their children are more resourceful than they initially thought. Ann F., for instance, recently encouraged her children to sell their unwanted toys to make some money. "When I checked on them in the playroom, they had a whole pile of toys they wanted to sell and were in the process of lugging them out front." Ann's gut reaction was to stop them, but she had a second thought and asked what they wanted to do with the money they earned. "They said they wanted to donate it to an animal shelter or children's hospital. The whole situation reminded me that sometimes it really is best just to get out of their way, not be overbearing, and when they are making their own fun without any parental involvement, to just let them be," she says. As a reader who calls herself "Vegemite Cheese" says of parenting, "It's not always what you do for your kids but what you teach your kids to do for themselves." 7. You Try to Prevent All Mistakes Of course, when making their own decisions, children will make some mistakes, but Lisa B. says it's healthy to let mistakes happen in a safe environment. "Both my kids are extremely careful about touching hot objects and getting their little fingers caught in doors/drawers. That's because I've let them try it when they were 6 months old. As soon as they were able to open and close a drawer, I've allowed them to close it (not too strongly, though), on their own fingers," she says. "Rather than preventing them from doing something dangerous, I let them experience the consequences (provided it isn't health/life-threatening). They know what it's like to touch a hot drink. When they fall, they know they have to get up and dust themselves off, all on their own." As another example, Lisa adds that her son once had a bad habit of putting his fingers and toys in his mouth. "After reminding him several times that it was dirty, I waited to see what would happen. He caught a very painful mouth sore. But now he knows the consequences of putting dirty objects in his mouth," she says. Of course, she offers the caveat that she always tries to reinforce good behavior. Ultimately, moms and dads can avoid overparenting by being supportive of their children, but not being overinvolved, Circle of Moms members say. "There is such a thing as being too involved, too loving, too praising, too in-tune with what your kids are doing . . . just as the other extreme suggests an unhealthy relationship with kids (no affection, attention, encouragement, etc.). Balance really is the key component of all facets of humanity," Jamie B. says. "Being over-protective is an easy and common mistake that parents make," admits mom Riana F., noting she sometimes closes her eyes and says, "World please be gentle with this child of mine." But, she realizes, "The world will never be gentle, it will only ever be real, and if I try to protect my children from its challenges I will also be protecting them from its rewards." http://bit.ly/2vFyBfy

Opening Up

Kota: had made breakfast and immediately texted Clare letting her know he was awake. He smiled seeing that she texted back and decided to pick her up since Yohio was at the office already. Once he picked up Clare he drove her back to his house. "Sorry, I need some things and Emi is still sleeping, I don't want her to think I left her." He said knowing she normally didn't sleep this late, it was already 11am. When they got back to his house. Kota looked at Clare. "I can't leave again until Emi wakes up." He sighed. "And I have to help with dishes, but after that we can leave. It was easier for me to get you first and I wanted to see you." He admitted and walked inside. Genre immediately pulled him to the kitchen as they started to do dishes in an assembly line together and play around. "They're always like that. Kota doesn't know, but they have an unbreakable bond. He'll always be her favorite because in our eyes she saved him, but we don't know what she saved him from." Dom said motioning between the two as they worked and splashed each other a little. "When we were 10 a few months after our dad died, Kota went from going outside everyday to being a recluse in the blink of an eye. He stopped going to school, stopped tutoring, and stopped leaving his room for unnecessary reasons. He even locked the door if he went to the bathroom so we couldn't sneak in. Ash and I sat outside his door for a bit talking waiting for him to open it, but after fifteen or so minutes we gave up. Mom would leave a plate of food for him in front of his door and after we finished there was just an empty plate by his door. I kept banging on his door wanting to know what was going on, but when he opened the door, his eyes were empty and frightfully cold. He looked like someone crushed his hopes and dreams and I was pretty sure that's what happened. Genre came by and sat outside of Kota's door talking to him, but when we'd go into her view she resorted to knocking. After fifteen minutes, I checked on her and she was still there. Twenty minutes, she was still there, even after an hour. She just didn't move then after an hour and a half I was going to talk to her and comfort her about him not opening his door, but she was gone. We checked the house, Kota's room was still locked and then we hear that she's in his room and they were both sleeping. After that she refused to leave his room aside from going to the bathroom. Two plates were placed in front of his room for meals rather than one and when Ash and I tried to lock ourselves in our room like that, we got in trouble. We wanted to prank Kota so he'd talk to us or get mad at us or have some reaction, we got a bucket of water and Kelly said if we throw that on Kota she will beat us till we were black and blue, we of course told mom and we were told if we mess with Kota we will be Kelly's slaves for however long she sees fit so we left him alone. When school came, Genre went with us and got Kota's make up work for him. That went on for a while, then one day when we got home, Kota was sitting at the table. We were told not to get too excited or bother him. I of course asked why he was locking himself in his room and Genre started beating me with a text book, she even chased me and started throwing her books at me rather hard until I locked myself in my room. I was grounded for two days on top of that. Soon Kota started to liven up and Genre went home when he started to go back to school. She doesn't know what happened to him other than he was really sad, had nightmares where he'd wake up crying in a cold sweat, and she'd often hold him as he'd cry telling him she's not leaving and comfort him. The only ones who know what he went through are mom and Kelly, but they won't tell us since it's not their place and Genre threatened to torture us if we ask Kota and we don't want that. I got a guy to kiss Kota and Genre stalked me for a week in the creepiest way. I'd get little notes in my bag with cut out letters counting down my death and mom and Kelly would tell me there was nothing to worry about. On the last day I went to shower and someone picked the lock, I hard a dark grown male voice ask if I was ready to die, then party poppers went off and I screamed. Genre got even." Dom explained. "Clare and I will be back later or I will. Emi is all set." Kota yelled and walked to where she and Dom were sitting, his outfit consisting of a clean pair of blue jeans and a MB shirt. He opened both the house and car door for Clare so she didn't have to. When he started to drive, he glanced at her. "I know someone probably told you I became a recluse/hermit when I was little." He explained as he drove. "We'll get to that. I went out a lot when I was little. Kelly often took me to the park when Dom was busy, I made a friend there. We were 4 when we met, she lived close by, but never came over. Kelly started taking me to her house and we became best friends. She was in the same elementary school, but different class so we only saw each other during recess and Dom had his own friends so we didn't hang out with him. During summer when Dom hung out with his friends I hung out with mine and made her part of it. In middle school my other friends moved while she stayed and was in a different class, but we had lunch together while Genre isolated herself for unnecessary reasons. Her name was Makayla and we became attached at the hip, doing everything together." He pulled over. "I'd go over to her house and we'd watch movies, have popcorn fights, do homework together. We even went to our first dance together though we skipped after ten minutes because we got bored and went back to her house. She could tell Dom and I apart just by looking, we even wore the same outfit to school to confuse our friends, but she knew the difference. Her dad died when she was 7, her younger sister was a year old. I went to the funeral with her, we held hands the entire time and I stayed with them until they got better. When my dad died, she did the same. She helped me by talking to me and got my mom to drop me off at her place so I didn't have to go to stay home with Kelly and my brothers. At that time I didn't think she'd ever leave my side. I didn't think she would do something so stupid. I had gotten sick with the flu a few weeks later and talked to her on the phone. I told her I couldn't wait to see her and hear her stories, it was snowing pretty hard when she hung up. I just remember waking up to mom yelling orders as Kelly bundled me up. I thought my fever was getting too high as mom rushed me out, buckled me in the car, and sped off. We got to the hospital and mom told me not to be scared as we got out of the car, she lead me to a closed door with Ms. Jefferies in front of it and I was given a hospital mask to put on since I was sick. Makayla wanted to surprise me so she snuck outside and got me a get well card. On her way home she was hit by a drunk driver. She was in a coma, I stayed by her side for three days as I got better with help from nurses and she woke up." he said and drove to a house seconds away. "Makayla stole my first kiss when she woke up and-" he was interrupted by a ten year-old knocking on his window "Is this her, did you finally bring Clare?" The girl asked in excitement as he opened his door. "Yes, this is Clare." He said and the girl immediately ran, opened Clare's door, and hugged her. "We finally get to meet you. She needs to meet Makayla too. Oh I'm Jill, I knew Kota my whole life. Like from the day I was born, I even have pictures of him holding me as a baby, though Kay was in it too." The girl said with excitement as she drug Clare inside and to a shrine with a picture on display of Makayla and Kota at the age of 10 in front of an urn as Kota stood next to her. "Hey Kay, I bought Clare. Clare this is Makayla." He said motioning to the urn and picture. "That was the last picture taken of Makayla, she never liked taking pictures without Kota." An older woman said looking at Clare. "That's Ms. Jefferies, Makayla's mom." Kota whispered in Clare's ear. "Did you bring me chocolate?" Jill asked and he looked at her. "Sorry, I didn't check them yet." He said honestly. "For what? People always give homemade chocolate in Japan." Ms. Jefferies asked. "Not all girls have adult supervision when cooking in Japan and chocolate is often the first thing they teach themselves how to make so at times I'll find hair in it from it not being tied back or nail decorations." He shivered a bit. "I didn't find the ones from Machiko yet or I would have bought them." He added and looked at Clare. "This house contains a lot of my childhood memories, there are also videos of Makayla and I as well as pictures if you want to see. I don't have any of my by myself when I was in school. School pictures were often taken with Makayla, we'd take pictures together on picture day. She'd tell me when her class was going and I'd make an excuse to leave and I'd jump in when it was her turn, she did the same. We did get in trouble, but we kept it up by refusing to take it alone so they gave in." Kota laughed asnd walked to the kitchen to grab a drink for him and Clare. "Would you like to see pictures of Kota when he was growing up?" Ms. Jefferies asked looking at Clare.

7 Signs You're Overparenting

Can you be "too good" of a parent? Reader Katherine W. says she's worried she has been overparenting or pampering her kids. "I tried to do the very best I could," she relays, "taking them to parks and interesting places every weekend, reading to them, working in their classrooms and every school event, supervising homework every night, helping with Girl Scouts, driving them to after-school activities, arranging play dates, making family dinners a priority, and on and on." However, Katherine recently noticed that her child's friend, whose parent was not as involved, has grown into a more confident and self-sufficient person. "Did all that effort even make any difference?" How do you know if you're turning into an overbearing parent? If, like Katherine, you're wondering if you should be less involved, here we've rounded up readers' advice on signs that you may be overparenting. 1. You Praise Profusely One of the tell-tale signs that you're being overbearing, instead of balanced, is when you notice yourself giving your child a profuse amount of praise. While children need encouragement, parents can go overboard, for instance, when they have an "unconscious, incessant need to praise and reward their kids," says a reader who calls herself "Chatty." She explains: "I think the only time extra praise is warranted is when children are very young; babies and young toddlers have to learn what is appropriate and what isn't, and praising them in an excitable manner when they master a new skill or act in an appropriate or desirable manner helps them to learn. But, if you're over the top and praise them every single time they do something, especially when it's repeatedly for the same thing they've already mastered and done 1,000 times, it's doing them a huge disservice." As an example, Chatty says when first potty training her daughter, she and her husband gave her lots of "high-fives" and "good jobs." But once her daughter mastered the toilet, she "opened a dialogue with her about how it made her feel to be able to go to the washroom on her own." 2. You Offer Too Many Material Rewards Similar to offering an abundance of praise, some parents spoil their children with too many material things. Stephanie Y. came to this realization when one year her 9-year-old son "clearly expressed his utter disappointment in his Christmas gifts. He explained that he didn't get what he really wanted and poo-pooed what he did get," she remembers. After unsuccessfully trying to impart a lesson about the spirit of Christmas, Stephanie realized she had been giving her children way too much. "I am the mom that would carry my kids' backpack for them, or buy the toy to bribe them to be good in the store! I needed to change, be more of a parent." Vowing that her children would never be ungrateful at Christmas again, she reduced the gifts her children were receiving all year round, and also reduced her children's candy consumption, so that they would learn to appreciate Halloween, too. Charlotte R. is another mom who believes "kids these days have way too many things. When I was growing up we had one phone for the whole house and we had to limit our time to share with everyone. We never got to just sit on the phone and call our friends all the time, because we had household chores to do and our homework and getting ready for school," she says. 3. You Have Low Expectations With the rigors of school and extracurricular activities, sometimes parents are hesitant to give their children too many responsibilities. But an ill-fated result of not expecting a lot from your children is that parents might do too much for their kids. Setting low expectations while assuming there will be big rewards is especially a common occurrence in school. 4. You Dole Out Few Responsibilities Setting expectations for your children includes holding them accountable for age-appropriate responsibilities, members add. From a very young age, Ellen B. says, "many kitchen tasks are fair game," and that kids are capable and often willing to bring their dishes to the sink when done, set the table, take the garbage out, and help cook. "And, yes," she adds, "teach them to clean up their messes." Once parents "get over the perception the only you can get things done on time, you will find training them is a time-saver." Increasing responsibilities and "doing less for them can give them the best possible chance" at becoming self-sufficient, independent adults, mom Ellen explains. "The more children learn to do tasks and make good decisions on their own, the better odds they have of living a productive life," she says. When you educate your children about their responsibilities, just be sure they understand that they're not being asked to do things because "'mommy is task master,' but rather [because] 'we live together, and share both the work and the pleasure of having our own home,'" Lisa R. notes. 5. You Repeat Yourself Frequently Once they assign responsibilities, overbearing parents often make the mistake of repeatedly telling children what to do. But parents are not raising robots that should follow every order, mom Angelique A. says. She admits she is sometimes guilty of this with her 14- and 15-year-olds and finds herself constantly telling her own children "to do this and that." She adds: "I mean when will it register that if you see something that needs to be done, just do it?" Still, Angelique knows she needs to lay off if she wants to raise responsible adults. "I was taught independence at a very young age. When I had to, I knew what to do when my parents were away." 6. You Help Without Being Asked Most parents would help their children at the drop of a hat, but several readers advise that parents would be wise to step back and wait to offer help until children ask for it. As a teacher, Pamela W. says she sees today's parents doing too much for their children when it's not necessary. "I see parents carrying their children's backpacks for them, etc., around the school campuses. I also see far more moms and dads who accompany their children into the classroom at the kindergarten level and spend time before the bell rings," she says. "It's hard not to helicopter," Shawnn L. admits. But as someone who works at a university, she doesn't support it: "It is extremely frustrating to watch [parents] be overbearing and [make choices] for adult freshman student[s]. It is extremely frustrating to speak to the student and have the parent answer. It is even more frustrating to watch a student make excellent choices with regards to his/her studies, only to see the parent undermine every choice because they either weren't involved enough, or didn't agree." Lucy L. summarizes: "Don't do something for your child that he or she is capable of doing for themselves." On the other hand, when parents let children make more decisions and help themselves, they often find that their children are more resourceful than they initially thought. Ann F., for instance, recently encouraged her children to sell their unwanted toys to make some money. "When I checked on them in the playroom, they had a whole pile of toys they wanted to sell and were in the process of lugging them out front." Ann's gut reaction was to stop them, but she had a second thought and asked what they wanted to do with the money they earned. "They said they wanted to donate it to an animal shelter or children's hospital. The whole situation reminded me that sometimes it really is best just to get out of their way, not be overbearing, and when they are making their own fun without any parental involvement, to just let them be," she says. As a reader who calls herself "Vegemite Cheese" says of parenting, "It's not always what you do for your kids but what you teach your kids to do for themselves." 7. You Try to Prevent All Mistakes Of course, when making their own decisions, children will make some mistakes, but Lisa B. says it's healthy to let mistakes happen in a safe environment. "Both my kids are extremely careful about touching hot objects and getting their little fingers caught in doors/drawers. That's because I've let them try it when they were 6 months old. As soon as they were able to open and close a drawer, I've allowed them to close it (not too strongly, though), on their own fingers," she says. "Rather than preventing them from doing something dangerous, I let them experience the consequences (provided it isn't health/life-threatening). They know what it's like to touch a hot drink. When they fall, they know they have to get up and dust themselves off, all on their own." As another example, Lisa adds that her son once had a bad habit of putting his fingers and toys in his mouth. "After reminding him several times that it was dirty, I waited to see what would happen. He caught a very painful mouth sore. But now he knows the consequences of putting dirty objects in his mouth," she says. Of course, she offers the caveat that she always tries to reinforce good behavior. Ultimately, moms and dads can avoid overparenting by being supportive of their children, but not being overinvolved, Circle of Moms members say. "There is such a thing as being too involved, too loving, too praising, too in-tune with what your kids are doing . . . just as the other extreme suggests an unhealthy relationship with kids (no affection, attention, encouragement, etc.). Balance really is the key component of all facets of humanity," Jamie B. says. "Being over-protective is an easy and common mistake that parents make," admits mom Riana F., noting she sometimes closes her eyes and says, "World please be gentle with this child of mine." But, she realizes, "The world will never be gentle, it will only ever be real, and if I try to protect my children from its challenges I will also be protecting them from its rewards." http://bit.ly/2qspxnD

7 Signs You're Overparenting

Can you be "too good" of a parent? Reader Katherine W. says she's worried she has been overparenting or pampering her kids. "I tried to do the very best I could," she relays, "taking them to parks and interesting places every weekend, reading to them, working in their classrooms and every school event, supervising homework every night, helping with Girl Scouts, driving them to after-school activities, arranging play dates, making family dinners a priority, and on and on." However, Katherine recently noticed that her child's friend, whose parent was not as involved, has grown into a more confident and self-sufficient person. "Did all that effort even make any difference?" How do you know if you're turning into an overbearing parent? If, like Katherine, you're wondering if you should be less involved, here we've rounded up readers' advice on signs that you may be overparenting. 1. You Praise Profusely One of the tell-tale signs that you're being overbearing, instead of balanced, is when you notice yourself giving your child a profuse amount of praise. While children need encouragement, parents can go overboard, for instance, when they have an "unconscious, incessant need to praise and reward their kids," says a reader who calls herself "Chatty." She explains: "I think the only time extra praise is warranted is when children are very young; babies and young toddlers have to learn what is appropriate and what isn't, and praising them in an excitable manner when they master a new skill or act in an appropriate or desirable manner helps them to learn. But, if you're over the top and praise them every single time they do something, especially when it's repeatedly for the same thing they've already mastered and done 1,000 times, it's doing them a huge disservice." As an example, Chatty says when first potty training her daughter, she and her husband gave her lots of "high-fives" and "good jobs." But once her daughter mastered the toilet, she "opened a dialogue with her about how it made her feel to be able to go to the washroom on her own." 2. You Offer Too Many Material Rewards Similar to offering an abundance of praise, some parents spoil their children with too many material things. Stephanie Y. came to this realization when one year her 9-year-old son "clearly expressed his utter disappointment in his Christmas gifts. He explained that he didn't get what he really wanted and poo-pooed what he did get," she remembers. After unsuccessfully trying to impart a lesson about the spirit of Christmas, Stephanie realized she had been giving her children way too much. "I am the mom that would carry my kids' backpack for them, or buy the toy to bribe them to be good in the store! I needed to change, be more of a parent." Vowing that her children would never be ungrateful at Christmas again, she reduced the gifts her children were receiving all year round, and also reduced her children's candy consumption, so that they would learn to appreciate Halloween, too. Charlotte R. is another mom who believes "kids these days have way too many things. When I was growing up we had one phone for the whole house and we had to limit our time to share with everyone. We never got to just sit on the phone and call our friends all the time, because we had household chores to do and our homework and getting ready for school," she says. 3. You Have Low Expectations With the rigors of school and extracurricular activities, sometimes parents are hesitant to give their children too many responsibilities. But an ill-fated result of not expecting a lot from your children is that parents might do too much for their kids. Setting low expectations while assuming there will be big rewards is especially a common occurrence in school. 4. You Dole Out Few Responsibilities Setting expectations for your children includes holding them accountable for age-appropriate responsibilities, members add. From a very young age, Ellen B. says, "many kitchen tasks are fair game," and that kids are capable and often willing to bring their dishes to the sink when done, set the table, take the garbage out, and help cook. "And, yes," she adds, "teach them to clean up their messes." Once parents "get over the perception the only you can get things done on time, you will find training them is a time-saver." Increasing responsibilities and "doing less for them can give them the best possible chance" at becoming self-sufficient, independent adults, mom Ellen explains. "The more children learn to do tasks and make good decisions on their own, the better odds they have of living a productive life," she says. When you educate your children about their responsibilities, just be sure they understand that they're not being asked to do things because "'mommy is task master,' but rather [because] 'we live together, and share both the work and the pleasure of having our own home,'" Lisa R. notes. 5. You Repeat Yourself Frequently Once they assign responsibilities, overbearing parents often make the mistake of repeatedly telling children what to do. But parents are not raising robots that should follow every order, mom Angelique A. says. She admits she is sometimes guilty of this with her 14- and 15-year-olds and finds herself constantly telling her own children "to do this and that." She adds: "I mean when will it register that if you see something that needs to be done, just do it?" Still, Angelique knows she needs to lay off if she wants to raise responsible adults. "I was taught independence at a very young age. When I had to, I knew what to do when my parents were away." 6. You Help Without Being Asked Most parents would help their children at the drop of a hat, but several readers advise that parents would be wise to step back and wait to offer help until children ask for it. As a teacher, Pamela W. says she sees today's parents doing too much for their children when it's not necessary. "I see parents carrying their children's backpacks for them, etc., around the school campuses. I also see far more moms and dads who accompany their children into the classroom at the kindergarten level and spend time before the bell rings," she says. "It's hard not to helicopter," Shawnn L. admits. But as someone who works at a university, she doesn't support it: "It is extremely frustrating to watch [parents] be overbearing and [make choices] for adult freshman student[s]. It is extremely frustrating to speak to the student and have the parent answer. It is even more frustrating to watch a student make excellent choices with regards to his/her studies, only to see the parent undermine every choice because they either weren't involved enough, or didn't agree." Lucy L. summarizes: "Don't do something for your child that he or she is capable of doing for themselves." On the other hand, when parents let children make more decisions and help themselves, they often find that their children are more resourceful than they initially thought. Ann F., for instance, recently encouraged her children to sell their unwanted toys to make some money. "When I checked on them in the playroom, they had a whole pile of toys they wanted to sell and were in the process of lugging them out front." Ann's gut reaction was to stop them, but she had a second thought and asked what they wanted to do with the money they earned. "They said they wanted to donate it to an animal shelter or children's hospital. The whole situation reminded me that sometimes it really is best just to get out of their way, not be overbearing, and when they are making their own fun without any parental involvement, to just let them be," she says. As a reader who calls herself "Vegemite Cheese" says of parenting, "It's not always what you do for your kids but what you teach your kids to do for themselves." 7. You Try to Prevent All Mistakes Of course, when making their own decisions, children will make some mistakes, but Lisa B. says it's healthy to let mistakes happen in a safe environment. "Both my kids are extremely careful about touching hot objects and getting their little fingers caught in doors/drawers. That's because I've let them try it when they were 6 months old. As soon as they were able to open and close a drawer, I've allowed them to close it (not too strongly, though), on their own fingers," she says. "Rather than preventing them from doing something dangerous, I let them experience the consequences (provided it isn't health/life-threatening). They know what it's like to touch a hot drink. When they fall, they know they have to get up and dust themselves off, all on their own." As another example, Lisa adds that her son once had a bad habit of putting his fingers and toys in his mouth. "After reminding him several times that it was dirty, I waited to see what would happen. He caught a very painful mouth sore. But now he knows the consequences of putting dirty objects in his mouth," she says. Of course, she offers the caveat that she always tries to reinforce good behavior. Ultimately, moms and dads can avoid overparenting by being supportive of their children, but not being overinvolved, Circle of Moms members say. "There is such a thing as being too involved, too loving, too praising, too in-tune with what your kids are doing . . . just as the other extreme suggests an unhealthy relationship with kids (no affection, attention, encouragement, etc.). Balance really is the key component of all facets of humanity," Jamie B. says. "Being over-protective is an easy and common mistake that parents make," admits mom Riana F., noting she sometimes closes her eyes and says, "World please be gentle with this child of mine." But, she realizes, "The world will never be gentle, it will only ever be real, and if I try to protect my children from its challenges I will also be protecting them from its rewards." http://bit.ly/2mATGle