u know it’s bad when ur doctor literally goes “hey you need to take a break from Lent/going to Mass this year until we work through some stuff”.

> Cae + RL : Talk about Anons

(( First the “tell the truth” anon and RL’s problems with Nadaya, and then a delightful mid-sentence segue into kidnapping alt!Sugary ))

Yesterday

caepaecaesurae Is your anon ovwer yet? carnivalsorphans finally :o( caepaecaesurae For wvhat it's wvorth, I gavwe him permission to inform you himself, because I think it wvill get the last vwestiges of upset out of his system, but he's agreed not to do anything. And you are publicly, openly forgivwen. Don't let anyone harsh you about this one anymore. carnivalsorphans thanks. that's an awkward thing to need for my mental health

caepaecaesurae Sorry I didn't out this one before nowv, to try and clear it up. caepaecaesurae It seemed safer to leavwe it buried. carnivalsorphans yeah :o( i assumed you were keepin it for blackmail, not gonna lie to keep me in line, just in case caepaecaesurae .. Not unless you started tormenting people, honestly. carnivalsorphans which, ya know, fair i've tormented very few people. none you care about! caepaecaesurae I'm not as absentminded as sugary, but I'm absentminded enough that I used to keep journals so I wvouldn't miss things. carnivalsorphans hahaha i'm pretty absentminded when my paranoia gives me peace caepaecaesurae Perhaps that's the only difference betwveen us. I'm a fewv steps closer to peace. carnivalsorphans there's probably plenty of other differences. caepaecaesurae Hair color carnivalsorphans hahahahaha yeah. everyone knows i regularly think about even my own moirail's torture now so like...... caepaecaesurae WVell... As long as it stays in the imagination. carnivalsorphans .... i dunno. it ain't just you. in case you were ever wondering. caepaecaesurae That does sooth a bit. I'vwe... met trolls wvhere it WVas just me. carnivalsorphans you're like. higher on the list than some people. but you're higher on the 'keep safe' list than most people too so it all balances out. caepaecaesurae I wvish you the best of luck on the reputation war And in fighting the inner demons that you seem to have mostly in check. carnivalsorphans i don't really care about my rep if i don't die, at this point. no higher authority to report my terrible nature to. no overarching consequence that will ruin everything centuries of work has tried to bring about. we won. so i just worry bout the one thing. caepaecaesurae Life is easier wvith a better reputation, but you'vwe a point. I still wvish you luck. carnivalsorphans he seems less mad. caepaecaesurae I let him read it.  The prodding really is vwery subtle on a re-read, wvithout the emotions of the moment avwailable to peruse. carnivalsorphans yeah cuz i'm good at stuff if i was better at faking i probably coulda gotten away with it. luckily for us all, psii is so stupid i never had to get that much better. caepaecaesurae WVe all must havwe our skills. carnivalsorphans anyway, new sugary. wanna collab on figuring out if she's evil or not caepaecaesurae You possibly could havwe.  If you'd succeeded, I wvould havwe wvithdrawvn from your rebellion efforts and likely not been on healing duty that night. But yes, I'd lovwe to collaborate on that. I'm puzzled, she's too put together. carnivalsorphans i asked her for a question off. she said it sounded perfectly fair. which...... doesn't sound like her somehow. carnivalsorphans it either sounds like she's actually worried about stuff bein fair or is halfway decent at seemin good when she ain't. and i'm not sure which... carnivalsorphans > Ringleader, too, is not good at pronouns. carnivalsorphans ... yeah i'm gonna go with the latter. i asked her about her quads. and she shot back with what quads i have filled and who they are. i dunno why, but that just seems like her lookin for someone to target caepaecaesurae Same, don't like howv she puts things. Sugary entrusted me wvith a wvay to entrap her direct alternates if they should provwe problematic, and I'm debating using it. carnivalsorphans i know about that, she told me to hunt you down if you ever misused it. this seems like a fair use though, if it ends up bein necessary. caepaecaesurae Pff.  Nice to knowv she has a solid set of countermeasures. carnivalsorphans ... she calculates. that's what it is. caepaecaesurae Aye, it is. carnivalsorphans she said she's assessing everything. caepaecaesurae And she cares only for the vwalue of things in material terms to her. carnivalsorphans yeah. which... not that far off from what sugary used to do, but for her it was decadence. for this one it's... tools. caepaecaesurae If I do attempt to enrap her, it's likely to be under the guise of an invwitation to dinner. Or a newv dwvelling or something else easily fabricated. carnivalsorphans if you need a place that ain't prosperity... hahahaha holy shit we got another cell around here. caepaecaesurae I'm afraid the entrapment area is already constructed, in a third party univwerse.  Arlequin and I bought Chickens there once. carnivalsorphans aww! that's cute caepaecaesurae Is there? carnivalsorphans yeah. next to enforcer's. caepaecaesurae I wvould be somewvhat concerned if the cell wvas rated to contain her It wvould imply someone other than herself and I knewv the wvay to do that. carnivalsorphans ... she didn't tell me bout specifics of her containment needs, just that you knew em. caepaecaesurae Aye, she's being careful. Can you ask the cell maker if they are rated for her? carnivalsorphans yeah. yeah i'll ask tarrat. carnivalsorphans oh shit looks like she's not much for dinner caepaecaesurae I may havwe to try less subtle methods of luring or abduction, it wvill be fine. carnivalsorphans how does 'i would love to please sugary when she gets back please turn me into a trickster' sound as a method of luring carnivalsorphans from me, of course caepaecaesurae I'm considering teleporting to her, grabbing her, and teleporting her to the other place, I'm just not sure if I'm faster on the drawv than she is. I can teleport out, she can't. carnivalsorphans mmmm you should be careful as shit. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsorphans i'm still wantin to do a 'lure' sorta thing, i don't mind bein bait. caepaecaesurae I'll need to disguise the place wve lure her into.  She wvon't be able to tell it's a trap until it closes. Literally closes. carnivalsorphans 's important. caepaecaesurae I can disguise my cell as any kind of room or hivwe you like. carnivalsorphans still workin on establishin trust enough. i'm not sure how viable it is, if you can figure somethin safer i'm totally fuckin good with it caepaecaesurae Tell me howv to disguise it, I'll need time. carnivalsorphans uhhhhhhhhhh fuck. probably a sitting room is as good as anythin, until i know more real colorful, somethin between church and trickster. carnivalsorphans oh! tarrat says the cell's sugar proof carnivalsorphans and also around enforcer so neither of them'd have to be bored. win win hahahahaha. caepaecaesurae Time players... carnivalsorphans ;o) ;o) ;o) caepaecaesurae Fair enough.  I could disguise that cell into a sitting room, put a transport pad in it, and take it out wvith me. caepaecaesurae I'll.. coordinate wvith him about that. carnivalsorphans or, vel/tarrat can put a transport pad in and destroy it on the way out. .... honestly. ...... should probably ask wicked if more people is rude to him caepaecaesurae I suspect time is not long, before she starts being antisocial. WVe should consider haste. carnivalsorphans i'm askin bout the staff caepaecaesurae To be entirely honest, I'm not sure I can conceivwe of myself as a trickster, wvhich might make me immune. carnivalsorphans hahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I'm not terribly wvorried about it.  I havwe quadrants to sit on me if anything goes awvry. carnivalsorphans good. ... i'm. a little more worried about it. i promised sugary i wouldn't do what valor did, and this is skirtin that line pretty damn close caepaecaesurae WVhat did he do? carnivalsorphans oh gods, did you not catch that? caepaecaesurae Oh, wvait.  Tossing yourself into the line of fire? carnivalsorphans yeah! that shit. caepaecaesurae No, I caught the edge, it's just been a bit. carnivalsorphans the shit that probably prompted her to give you a safety measure caepaecaesurae Aye, it wvas around then. caepaecaesurae All the more reason to get this done soon, before he hears about it. And havwe her somewvhere he can vwisit and pawv at the glass. carnivalsorphans gods i fuckin know right caepaecaesurae ...Gods, Enforcer and Valor do not need to meet. carnivalsorphans hahahahahahahahah are you sure another highblood who's also a vantas might be good for him ;o) caepaecaesurae I havwe a headache already. carnivalsorphans good thing you don't gotta deal with it too much.... caepaecaesurae I'll try to keep complaining to a minimum.  Anywvays, I'm wvith Tarrat and wve're wvorking on things. caepaecaesurae He's telling me howv to set up the block, you focus on your part. carnivalsorphans ... you agree that she's best contained, considerin the potential she's got? caepaecaesurae I havwe a bad feeling, and I trust my gut. She *could* be fine -- but her immediate response to a request to behavwe, wvith bribery, wvas "Mmmm no" carnivalsorphans i'm just about to the point of bein ready. caepaecaesurae If wve contain her successfully, it harms little except her vwacation. carnivalsorphans iiii might wind up trickster, please fix it if i do. .... we got an escape method planned to be quick and easy for me caepaecaesurae If that happens, I'll showv up to take you to the Other cell, wvhere I wvill fix you. carnivalsorphans hot. caepaecaesurae There's going to be a transport pad in the room.  It wvill disable the moment she is alone in that room.  It doesn't need coordinates typed in. carnivalsorphans oh hot you're a damn gem carnivalsorphans trap set, time to be bait send me coords for the cell caepaecaesurae > coords Thank you for your part in this vwenture, chief. carnivalsorphans you bet! sugary can hit me for this later caepaecaesurae To be honest I think she'll kiss you. carnivalsorphans gay caepaecaesurae Hey, just a guess carnivalsorphans we'll see. i sent her the coords, i'm all settled and ready to be a loving matesprit for long enough for her to chill in case she's suspicious nice decorating caepaecaesurae I'm about fivwe feet awvay, armed and armored, and out of line of sight. To your left from the chair. Fivwe feet from the edge of the wvall, excuse me. Other side of it. carnivalsorphans hot

Out Of The Hood

And, still some took me in from the streets and fed me and gave me a place to rest, when my own just left me there sitting, not only for days, but for years. I don't want to give you the "victim of circumstance" routine, but there are people who are victims. I do consider I am largely a product of my decisions, but just as one man cannot lift himself up without the aid of others, neither does one man usually fall down all on his own, unless he's drunk and can't walk. I probably should not post this, but I'm going to anyway, because I've spent the better part of ten years in poverty. And, though I am not totally sympathetic to all of the impoverished, even having lived it, I am also not a fool especially when it comes to the black experience. I think you said, it's good to have a social safety net, but people are stuck in it. And, I would say, everybody can't be a rock star. I call it McMansion Capitalism, to distinguish it from a better form where greed is not a great capitalist trait, like bullsh*t seems to be as well. Then, I think to myself it's always been this way. So, I lose my zeal for change, leaving me at this point I just re-read, but I don't know where it comes from.  Only since I've clicked through a link the reminder post has vanished. It was an entire paragraph on how kings have lamented through time over their rise to power only to find themselves wanting neither poverty nor riches, but to live somewhere in the middle. I don't know what book it came from, but I never read it. It was just the opening statement that caught my attention because it encapsulates my feelings, never having been a king, or truly impoverished; I mean truly impoverished. Knowing full well that trickle down economics is a myth, we have all agreed on the right and the left to the welfare state, because if true trickle down were to live on it's own without those who pick up the slack in churches and through welfare benefits, our poor would look a lot more like those in starving Ethiopia than they do here. The real issue involved with black on black crimes as this piece alludes are drugs, which provoke the killings in many cases. Or, has always been the case, killing over a woman, or jealously. I know I'm being one sided in talking about males, but I think the statistics support what I'm saying. The same is true in the modern white community. Crack, and Meth and Ice are turning people of all colors into monsters. Alcohol is bad enough.  It's particularly bad because it doesn't even make you want to do anything. At least a crack head might want to work, but after they become so hooked that becomes and impossibility. So, the real problem is in substance abuse, and the money that is made from it because there doesn't seem to be any upward mobility. Especially for black folk, that has always been the case. These days it seems like the best you can do is $9 per hour for anybody, whatever color. That's a bit of an exaggeration because some make better money than that, but by and large you're lucky if you even get $9 per hour. Basically, prices have far outpaced wages, but that was true before EITHER one of us were born, and I mean EITHER one of us. I remember having a conversation with my grandmother about this very issue when she was telling me what the price of a home was when she was young, and how much money she made. Prices have far outpaced wages, and that's when the bubble bursts and somebody like Donald Trump is elected by telling everyone he's going to give back what his greed has already taken away, all while blaming it on somebody else, like Mexicans, or brown people in general. Unfortunately, this is also when things can turn to violence and before weaponry had far outpaced the weaponry of the common man, we would have already had a revolution by now. Instead, we get riots and violence in the streets because a violent revolution is not even a a viable option.  Any fool can see that?  We require a revolution of the minds. So, since we cannot promise everybody they'll grow out of the hood, or out of poverty, then the best we can do is to attack these drugs that are truly turning people into monsters. It's not about raising the minimum wage. It's about healing people, and this is a battle for the soul. Is religion the answer? We have enough religion to make a dyslexic believer in dog sick. But, for those who are affected by this the most, the people who live in the "hoods" we've gotta stop the drugs, which means not make everybody think they need a mansion, and not to Make America Great Again, but to Make America Grateful Again. We have spent years trying to motivate people by making them feel like losers, one of Trump's favorite words. Our society in general takes pleasure in the misfortune of others. Talk about systemics! But, this truly starts with an attitude of gratitude for what we have here in America. Not only is the leadership ungrateful, but so are the people and we all live like kings. I'm not saying there aren't problems, but everybody can't be rock star. This mentality is what needs to end. Sure, it's good to dream but how about some realistic goals. Even at $9 per hour, you can afford to get a place of your own. You might not have any money for drugs, but you can pay rent. You might not be able to afford a car, but you can afford bus fare, or a bike. Heck, I'm doing it and I used to make nearly a hundred thousand a year, and that wasn't enough either. It never is unless you have some sense of gratitude that governs your life, and even your desires. We don't need any more religion, but I thank my God I was born in America, even though I've been living on the streets. I also know it's hard to find work, especially if you feel shunned, but this is when a village has to come together. Turn off the tv, and do what you can to make the world a better place. I'm not saying you should go hug your neighborhood crack dealer today, but that's the first thing we need to be worried with. Whatever it takes to get rid of these kinds of substances it needs to be done. People literally die before your very eyes as you witness their teeth fall out of their mouths and their skin turn to blisters, and sores. And, they're willing to beg, borrow and steal for it, not to mention kill, and it doesn't matter what color they are. I know I really shouldn't post this, because it might stimulate debate, but our issues in this country largely stem from psychological mismanagement of the masses. See, it covers both sides of the coin. The homeless in Athens, represent less than half of half of one percent of the population. Chew on that for a minute, and yes I don't think anybody should be homeless either, but frontiersmen lived outside for years. Some people simply choose to do it. It has been an uphill battle for me. I grew up largely in the country, but it was at the country club. I am not frontiersman, and I have no desire to live in a tent. That's why I never pitched one, and probably why I got locked up as much as I did because I was an urban dweller. What I also never did is give up, and you will never see me sitting on that bridge across the street from the shelter in the morning, or the afternoon, or at night. That's a matter of personal dignity. So, I might not ever have a mansion, but I don't care! I just don't ever want to be poor, which means being born somewhere else than here because I don't see it the same way as others. You and I can agree on the lack of upward mobility, but as long as there are kings, or wealthy people we will have classes, and I just don't see money going away. It's not so bad here, and I am grateful to have survived street life, and to have lived it in Athens instead of Chicago, or New York. I know there's a difference, but I've spoken with people from those areas and they have soup kitchens too. It's just they have a lot more street people. I just still believe that so much of it has to do with attitude, and we have created an attitude of greed at the bottom and the top. How do you fix that? Sure would be nice to have a magic wand with that question, but this truly is a matter of the heart and soul. Certainly, it starts in the schools, and I DO NOT support religion in schools, but the same character building that religion offers can be offered in such a way as to have a positive effect. You just have to frame it in such a way to make people see they gotta stay on their lily pads. And, right now we've got them hopping all over the place.  And one more thing... Boot Camp for every eighteen year old might be the greatest mandate ever, since we're into mandating some things people have to buy, let's mandate some discipline and breed some manners. Mahalo from BLAHG, BLAHG, BLAHG!!! http://ift.tt/2mx6SW4 via IFTTT