#need to buy a film camera first of all! but i am so clueless about it all:'( need to be informed and look up some things first | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skzflix · 3 years

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passstt can you do your best to explain the ‘universe’ in depth or at least so it’s understandable bc my ass is clueless 🙃

so, this is my dumb brain linking stuff so please please take this all as what it is — my stupid brain's stupid thinking. this is also the first time i've linked it all out in order. so bear with me. this is loooong. in this universe, we have like three parts: mixtape: on track — b me — mixtape: oh. and it deals with tangled romance and the consequences it has on friendships.

MIXTAPE: ON TRACK

so in mixtape: on track, the universe sets off with the boys in high school, final year, i think. minho and hyunjin are the leads in our whole universe. jeongin is like hyunjin's best friend in this au. they are film and art majors (?) and have this project i presume to make a short film (?). chan deals with the sound, jisung with the lights, changbin with the props, hyunjin with the videography, felix is directing and seungmin is the writer. minho is the main lead in this film and jeongin is a side character in this film.

insert female lead. female lead is close friends with both hyunjin and minho. it's pretty evident that minho and hyunjin likes her and hyunjin constantly does feel bad over minho and her getting closer, because well, he likes her. this feeling turns into a distaste soon enough (as seen in how hyunjin feels pathetic after the girl takes both the drinks from them + how minho shoots the goal while playing soccer and like hyunjin and minho have this weird cold gaze exchange. in both these situations, jeongin is around to help hyunjin. i'll get to this soon.) so like our boy minho and her clearly have sparks and hyunjin dislikes it. high school jealousy, if anything.

that's when hyunjin decides to take action and while shooting, when minho has to grab the female lead's hand, he butts in and holds her hand. all because he likes her and he's done being the second lead in this story. the mv ends here.

now, about jeongin, he did mention in one of his vlive that he was like a guardian angel and i do think he's like a friend that really really cares for hyunjin and doesn't ever want him to get hurt. so the whole mv wraps up in this plot of how hyunjin takes action right when minho and the female lead are slowly getting things going for them.

UNVEIL: B ME

and then we get the unveil track of b me, (how i wish they dropped the mv for this rather!). i'll make a list of stuff that happens in b me first and then tell you how my brain linked it up.

felix with the video camera + tape

jeongin distressed with bruised face

the members reminiscing what they once had before chaos struck.

a script that has even a fool knows (alternative title to on track) written (this was my cue to link them both?)

seungmin, chan and technically the whole cast looking distressed

jisung burning the film competition form (?)

changbin in the court sad and playing alone

biker!minho + biker!hyunjin (THIS ISN'T A POINT BUT THEY ARE SO HOT IN THIS AU SHUT UP RUE!!!)

minho meets with an accident + jisung rushes to his side

angry giving up skz moments

ot8 basketball happy memories

i'm going to sit here and draft this out so again, bear with me, soooo,

i presume the hyunjin grabbing the girl's hand, ofc, did not sit right with minho because technically, minho and her were a thing almost. and that ruined the friendship. this also caused the whole film shooting to turn chaotic, i presume because hyunjin's gaze in the on track mv seemed determined so i think he wasn't ready to back off either. the filming team clearly breaks apart because of this. the tension between minho and hyunjin is still very high. the team is frustrated. jisung burns the film competition form because what's the use of joining when there's no team? changbin is sad and angry and has emotions he is frustrated over (just like the other members!!) because they aren't together as a friend circle distinctly because of the feud between hyunjin and minho. they used to play basketball together (the whole of the ending part!) but not anymore.

now, we see how minho meets with an accident. i'm a bit confused with this part (this is why we need the mv for b me, jyp!!!!) but i'll state out everything i think.

a) jisung is to minho as to what jeongin is to hyunjin.

b) the accident could be solely accidental? maybe minho ran off in a fit after an argument with jeongin and hence why jeongin has the bruises and maybe in that heat, minho could have had the accident.

c) i presume jisung rushes to help him because human guardian angel of sorts of a friendship.

anyhow, i think the small clip of video tape that felix pulls out in the beginning is what they watch together. i do not think this has any correlation to the intense story besides adding the fact that they were reaaaaaaally close because they all look super happy in that shot, omg!!

MIXTAPE: OH

and now here we are, mixtape: oh. (watching and pausing the mv to go as detailed as i can with my storytelling.) this, since it was a mv, we get a story as solid as the first one (thank you, jyp. i hate you generally but thank you for this.)

so we have all the members in the drama club room. the same room we saw in the first mv i think. everyone's gathered back there, picking up their stuff because they have graduated, except for changbin and hyunjin who haven't come. jeongin searches and hopes expectantly for hyunjin to come. the blue certificate kinda thingy (I have no idea what it is. i don't read korean either and my google translate couldn't pick that up :((() is something of hyunjin's and i think minho did want hyunjin to come to this sort of reunion because he gets angry and picks up the blue thingy. he's either mad at that, or he is still mad at what happened in the past. i'm not sure. either ways, jisung is worried too as to what minho is going to do and over what he is feeling. oh, also, minho is in a cast, which means it does go exactly in the order i mentioned !!!

we then see hyunjin (shit, i cried again!) and he's painting an eye (is this a relation with some other skz song i will never know) and i think he took up art after dropping from film club so like he could distance himself from the rest of them, because well, he was 1/2 of the reason why this all happened.

we have the members reminiscing again, thinking about the good times and bad ones too. jeongin is in a tunnel (the boy is always in a tunnel. is this again a link to other mvs i do not know) and changbin goes to the drama club room all alone after everyone leaves and like i think he removed the sign of the drama club room and in my head, it's a symbolism for how everything has finally ended. all the memories they have had had finally ended with their graduation, of sorts, in that moment for him. jeongin, who is in the tunnel calls for hyunjin, like a last thread of hope he clings on to, expecting for him to finally meet them and come back to them. hyunjin doesn't pick up the call.

minho is still packing things up and as he looks through stuff he sees a calender with their anniversary date marked and he remembers of the team together once again. everyone really badly misses the old days. we see jeongin who goes to buy that drink again that he stole from hyunjin in the on track mv and he remembers felix in that moment.

felix who is in the library is with a cake. so i presume it is his birthday because he lights the candle on the cake up eventually. i think he did want to celebrate it with the team as a whole but because of the fall he can't. he opens a book and see the quote, "dreams come true to those who really want them," (we see this on the jisung bus stand shot too btw!!) and he goes on to make a wish on his cake and ie think he wished for them all to be together once again, living the happy memories again. hence the beautiful shots in the end I AM IN LOVE.

so i had this sorta ex lmao who told me this beautiful metaphor once when we broke up about how i left him on the bus of our memories and it was only i who got down and that our timings didn't match. and i think my brain instantly correlated those two, oops. so like the bus is a train of thoughts, a passageway for them to remember the happy memories. changbin remembers the happy memories he had as he looks through hsi phone with the basketball in his hand. jisung also enters the bus and remembers the moments they shared. oh, also changbin leaves when jisung enters. the timings don't match.

TIMESKIP. because this is based off kdramas for sure and what are kdramas without timeskips lmao.

minho's arm is healed. (he's also wearing such a pretty fit i want to steal!) minho goes and tried to meet hyunjin at his art studio because he wants to give it a try, this whole friendship again, i think, but hyunjin isn't there. so he leaves him a note and the certificate (??) blue thingy (?? what is it someone help me!) hyunjin comes back to see them both. this is what happens in the mv, in correlation with the other mvs.

they could clearly make another part of them actually getting together. but personally, i think they do and like felix's wish comes true because the directing is such that they end it with felix opening his eyes. (i also don't want to think of a sad alternative where felix opens his eyes only to remember reality is still the same and the feud still exists. i refuse. in my head, the next part has them coming together just like that in the snow!)

but yes, if you've reached till here, thank you for reading my incoherent mess of thoughts. ily and i hope you have a good day! 💕

#✉️:asks #skz theory #stray kids #skz #this is not proofread and is just a mess BUT HERE THANK YOU 💕

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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754

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don’t even have one of those yet.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? I'm not sure. I know she's told me before about being diagnosed with depression, but I’ve forgotten if it’s mild or severe, or if she has the whole thing or is just showing symptoms of it. She only mentioned it in passing so I figured it wasn’t something she wanted to touch on further.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Probably but I’d have to be really careful to not end up shattering my legs or any other part of my body haha, but knowing me I’d probably land badly. I live on the second floor but the house isn’t that high, so I think I could give it a shot.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? I’d be very confused because she’s very gay and also because she’s only been staying at home since March.

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? I wouldn’t be able to relate since store brand’s not really a thing here. Only SM makes their own stuff but they’re purposely cheaper because they’re meant to be of lower quality to begin with. Other than that, we don’t really have a choice but buy brand name.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Just the tampons, probably. I never need condoms so I have no reason to feel awkward buying them, and in fact I’ve volunteered to buy them for Angela whenever she feels shy haha; I definitely have no reason to be embarrassed buying pads because periods are a thing. I will likely feel most awkward getting tampons since I don’t know any one person who uses them where I live and it’ll most likely be seen as an unusual purchase since they’re quite uncommon.

If a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? Probably. I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk, several Audrey Hepburn memorabilia, and a lot of pink stuff so it very much looks like a stereotypical girly room. I do think it’s kinda balanced out by the amount of WWE merch I own, but yeah otherwise my other stuff screams girly.

Are your parents gullible? When it comes to home stuff my mom is basically a witch; she can immediately tell if my dog peed somewhere, if I lost something, or if a dining chair isn’t positioned right. But when it comes to fake news on Facebook she will occasionally flock to them hahaha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind her that phones DO NOT emit radiation from 12AM to 5AM and that it’s only a ploy to get people to sleep early lmfao. My dad is pretty intelligent and won’t be easily fooled about anything.

Do you still own a VCR? I know my parents owned one but I don’t know if they still brought it here when we moved 12 years ago or if they already threw it out.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? :( Zero pesos. The only thing I’ve spent on this entire quarantine was a bottle of soju I asked my dad to buy and I paid him after.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Yes.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? UPTC since they have like ten shoe stores there.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? I haven’t had a new pair in like a year now, but the last one we bought cost arounddddd ₱4200, if I remember correctly.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? Gray. No, it was a gift from my parents.

Do you have a second home? I guess I count my childhood home my second home. My grandma and cousins remain in that house, so we visit from time to time and when we’re there I’ve noticed that I still retain the same tendencies and habits from when I still lived there.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? I’ll use the last person I chatted in this context since I haven’t texted in a hot minute, and that person would be Andrew. I’d be quite concerned since they’ve told me they’ve quit smoking, so there must be something extremely stressful going on for them to start smoking. I’d check up on them immediately.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? I do super hate the smell of beer even though I have no other choice but to drink it sometimes; I still find the smell of cigarettes disgusting although my contempt for them has lessened over the last few years seeing as a lot of people I know are smokers so I’ve been around that smell a lot, and also because I’ve started too. I’ve never been around weed and I don’t know how it smells.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger by a month.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Not really? What I get most frequently is people thinking I was grumpy at first, but tbh I am pretty grumpy so they aren’t far off from the truth. With me it’s usually a what you see is what you get thing whether someone’s meeting me for the first or the 78th time.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Nope, not a thing here. I’ve always found the variety of cookies so fascinating though and I’ve always wanted to try the Thin Mints and Samoas since they’re what I hear about the most :(

Do you like waffles? They’re okay, though I only ever eat waffles with fried chicken and never just by themselves. I prefer pancakes.

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? Nah man wtf? I have no reason to be doing that lmao.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? I don’t find either attractive. I get curious when I see tattoo because I wonder what the story behind it is and what it means to the person who has it, that’s all. As for piercings, I don’t really like them < Pretty much. Like I don’t go looking around for tattoos on a person to find them attractive; I just like hearing the histories behind them. Same with piercings, I don’t need them to be attracted to someone.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? Only on social media that I’m already familiar with and comfortable in, like on this Tumblr, or Twitter, sometimes Facebook. I wouldn’t go to like Quora to ask something or join forums or even post anything on Reddit.

How often do you drink Monster? Never. Energy drinks scare me lol.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? I’ve made those for myself, but not with friends. I remember filming a house tour with my flip phone’s video camera back when I was like, 8 hahaha I was ahead of our time for sure.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? I don’t even know those existed. I just knew of Warped Tour and that all the cool bands of the time would play there, but that’s it. I’m clueless about everything else that goes on in there.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? You mean just a restaurant? Inside, for sure. I would never agree to eating outside and am always willing to wait a few extra minutes. I hate having to contend with passersby while I eat my food as I feel that it ruins the experience as well as the time I have with the person/s I’m eating with.

Do you own a nightgown? No but I had duster dresses that I’d wear to bed as a kid, if that counts lol.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? Probably not. My mom wouldn’t allow us to play with those and she’d immediately view them as trash that needs to be thrown out.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? No. I usually used the sheets as a cape or robe, then I’d pretend to be a queen.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My paternal grandparents do. My maternal grandfather used to regularly use a phone before he passed. My maternal grandmother refuses to learn :(

Have you ever had sex or something like it? Hahahaha ‘something like it.’ Yeah, I’ve had sex.

Have you ever read a George Orwell book? I tried reading 1984 when I was like 13 but didn’t understand it from the get-go. I haven’t continued it since but honestly I’m very open to revisiting it one of these days.

Have you ever worn fishnets? I don’t remember ever doing so. I feel like it’d be so uncomfortable; I hate wearing stockings as it is.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have? I only have my ears pierced and no tattoos < Sameeee.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? Nope.

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Hahahahaha yeah, just out of curiosity. I’ve never seen anything interesting, but I keep trying.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? Be eaten out right now. I’ve had too much abstinence from sexual activity for my own liking lol < Ok it’s 1 in the afternoon but SAME lol

Do you always wear your seat belt? Honestly, no and it’s a shitty habit that I need to correct ASAP. I never notice that I’m not wearing them until it’s one of my parents riding with me and they scold me for driving out of the village without a seatbelt. I do put it on when I enter bigger cities with more police patrolling the area like Ortigas and Makati, or when I drive out of town, but usually it stays off.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. I’ve had a crush on a teacher, but I obviously didn’t legit like him haha.

Have you ever been in a play? Just the annual school plays we do that all students are required to be a part of. I forgot to mention this in a recent survey but I was in an acting club in Grade 1 and I played Cinderella’s prince in our culminating play, heheh.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Sure.

Is there ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. My parents love ice cream so we always have an ample supply of their favorite flavors. Sometimes we’ll also have a tub of cookies and cream since it’s our (the kids’) favorite flavor.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? For sure. I always laugh at inappropriate moments so I do fake coughs a lot.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? I suppose so. Hate is a strong word and I’d rather not use it, but while the music my girlfriend listens to wouldn’t be what I’d tune into on a regular basis, the lyrics are admittedly very well-written and intelligent and reflective, and I don’t mind it when she shares her favorite songs with me :)

Does your bathroom have a window? Yes but they’re high up on the wall.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? No, I’m really scared of threading :( Everyone always gets out of the salon with their eyebrow area all red and tingling and it’s enough to scare me off of threading forever lmao. I’m not very conscious about how my own eyebrows look, so I just let them grow out.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? I’ve only seen snippets of the movie.

Who was the last band you saw live? Paramore. I miss them already.

Do you believe prayer really works? I’m not gonna invalidate the fact that it works for a lot of people. But it’s just not my cup of tea, and I honestly don’t know how to feel whenever someone says they pray for me since I don’t believe in it anyway. Of course I thank them, but on the inside I’m always a little puzzled.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? Never been. I know Stereo Hearts and that was always a fun song to sing, but it’s not my favorite either.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I don’t really have either, but I’d go with frosted flakes I guess?

Have you been on a date in the park? I would love to have one of these if we actually had parks. How nice would it be to take a long stroll, have a picnic, and just sit on a bench talking for hours?

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes. At first I didn’t want to risk it since we were reeeeeally close, but I don’t regret asking her out.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? Thankfully no. Although my grandpa and his sister did pass from heart attacks and I’m starting to be scared that it might develop to be a pattern for some of us. But other than that, both sides of the family are relatively healthy.

Do you have asthma? No. But Gab does and I get really worried once her breathing becomes labored at night. I keep telling her to get a new nebulizer after her old one broke, but I dunno what’s become of that request of mine.

Are tongue piercings slutty? No, and it’s not like being slutty is a bad thing lol.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? No one in real life but I do still have a crush on CM Punk who’s turning 42 this year hahah. I don’t think that crush is ever gonna go away.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Gab.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? I knew about markers and ballpens, but not highlighters.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? No thanks. I’d rather have somewhere to go home to or rest at by the end of the day, and if I was gonna do this I prefer to be with someone who knows a thing or two about surviving in the woods.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Nope. The worst thing I’ve done was write on one of the desks in grade school.

Least favorite alcoholic drink? Out of the ones I tried, I didn’t like whisky at all. Too bitter for me < Twins. I hated the ever living shit out of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels when I tried them.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? I haven’t. I have a cousin named Luke that I used to babysit and I kissed him a lot when he was a baby, if that counts lol.

How did you meet the last male you texted? I met them at the Marcos heroes’ burial protests. I have no idea how I started talking to them, but I think it was because they were wearing a Nexus shirt and I told them I like it, and we started talking from there.

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Yup. I wasn’t allowed to make an email address when I was young so I had to sneak around and make a fake Yahoo username so my parents would never find me. I don’t remember what it was anymore but it was for sure embarrassing so I’m just grateful my brain threw that memory out.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? OMG this survey is so long. I put it on my left hand.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose? Nope, no piercings.

Do you and your dad get along? Better than my mom and I.

Can you see your purse right now? Nah, it’s in my room upstairs.

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? I am not. I haven’t had a reason to in a while.

Are there products in your hair? Just shampoo and conditioner.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? No. Whaaaat, those exist? I just blow my nose or just live through the stuffiness.

Do you actually like sneezing? I love it, it’s such an underrated sensation lmao. It feels better when you’ve actually been needing to sneeze for a while and it finally comes through.

Have you taken a shower yet today? Nope, I usually take them at night.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have two.

Do you wear skirts a lot? Not really, I don’t like skirts because I feel exposed wearing them. I prefer shorts.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Nope.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? I can remember five pairs right now, but I have many other kinds of bottoms in my closet like culottes and leggings.

Do you like hoodies? They’re okay. I find them more comfortable if they belong to someone else, hah.

Big ones or the form fitting kind? Form-fitting if I’m buying for myself; big ones if I’m borrowing from Gabie.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I never wear them. My mom made me wear them often as a kid and it made me feel like a boy, so I’ve kinda had a predisposition to be wary of them as I got older since I was teased frequently enough about being a tomboy as a kid as it is.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think we probably did.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have one big regret and the rest of my ‘regrets’ are small and are stuff like “I regret not picking up food on my way home because I’m now hungry.” The way I’ve always thought is that I did the things I did before because I chose to do them and I was happy to do them, and I’ve honestly felt barely any regret even though things didn’t turn out the best. There’ve been mistakes but I’ve just chosen to learn from them instead of regretting them at the same time. Do you love your computer? Love it.

Do you drink coffee? Yeah. I’ve been doing it a lot this quarantine but I think it’s been giving me headaches, so I stopped for now.

Do you basically like all of your clothes? No. There are some at the bottom of the pile that I’m no longer crazy about anymore.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. She tends to know what looks best on me, and she also pays for the clothes hahaha.

#survey #surveys

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isthisthingeven0n · 5 years

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bad ideas : d.k

my first dima piece! gave it my best go - and I’m sorry for how long it’s taken to have complete. i’m realising I go from like full stories to drabble pieces, so bit of a mix currently but I hope you’re all enjoying them regardless. anyhow thank you to the anon who helped me with dimas name (still clueless but trying)

masterlist (i’ll organise it soon, probably when I am done writing yikes) also the gif probably will only work on mobile sorry. I made it in giphy (im trying)

“I really don’t think this will be as good of an idea that you guys think it might be.” I mumble as I nervously bite at my nails as Ilya and David go through the plan one last time before we drive down to the dealership.

Ilya glances back and shakes his head. “He’ll love it really, Y/n.” He says reassuringly, but I remain unconvinced. “Sure he might be annoyed initially, but even Dima knows how old that shitty car is.”

My mind wonders back to thinking about how beaten his car currently is and the number of dents he has caused it over the years. “You know this will mean the world to him, even if he seems ungrateful.” David pipes in as we turn the corner, entering the dealership as all of the cars are on display.

“No going back from here.” I mutter as David parks and we enter the dealership, hoping to leave with a nice enough car that will make up for destroying Dima’s current one.

Walking into the office with everyone else Ilya and David are both filming whilst I go ahead and greet him. “Hey, babe.” I say sweetly, trying to suppress my nerves as I hug him tightly.

“Hey, I can’t stop Y/n.” He mutters as he pulls away from my hug. “My lawyer needs to meet me and I’m already late.” He grabs his jacket and I can already sense his anxiety levels rising.

Before he has a chance to leave the office everyone is stood there with cameras and his annoyance becomes more obvious as he clenches his jaw, I remain standing behind him. “Dave, I need to get to my car.” He states, holding his hand out whilst David films him, unable to conceal his big grin.

“Okay,” He shrugs his shoulders before walking out where the boulder remains suspended over his car and immediately he rushes over in a panic.

And just as planned the boulder slams down onto the bonnet of his car, smashing the windscreen.

Dima is speechless, stood with pure rage and horror whilst everyone laughs around him. Everyone except me.

I move to stand in front of him and hold his hand, but he lets go and runs after Ilya as he stands on top of his car, smashing the windscreen until it falls through. “Fucking piece of shit.” He yells before chasing him across the field whilst David is hot on their tails, filming the entire thing.

“I didn’t think it would turn this sour so fast.” I mutter to Phil who shakes his head in disbelief.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay,” He says as he pats my back lightly whilst I wait in a horrible sense of anticipation keeping the keys close in my pocket.

As Dima comes back, his shirt in his hand as he catches his breath he walks over straight towards me.

Before I can react he takes me into the office, “You fuckers stay out here.” He spits and they all comply as he walks me inside towards Ilyas office. A heavy sigh sounds as he leans against the desk whilst I hover by the door knowing the camera in here is already set to film.

“I’m sorry your car is destroyed,” I say softly as I walk over and lean into him. “you might need these.” Placing the keys next to him I watch as he glances down and picks them up.

“No Y/n, no.” He says, shaking his head as he looks up at me with a mixture of anger and confusion. “You didn’t buy me a fucking car, you just didn’t.” His voice is pure disbelief, but I shrug my shoulders before heading towards the door.

“Guess you’ll have to see what’s outside.” I say, trying my best to smile but his irritation about the entire thing is making it harder.

He walks over, placing his hand on the door closing it. I remain still, leaning against the wood as he rests his arm against it, closing in on me. “My car wasn’t that bad, baby.” He says softly and I chuckle quietly.

“Dima,” I start. “your car didn’t have automatic windows. We had to hand crank them up and down.” I joke and he pulls a face. “Plus all the dents and us nearly getting gassed last week.”

“Yeah, I forgot about that.” He laughs quietly before kissing me softly. “You still shouldn’t have gotten me a car though. There’s no way I can repay you for such a thing.”

I shrug my shoulders before resting my arms around his waist. “You don’t need to repay me for it, D. I just want you to be safe when driving, and for us to enjoy our road trips and not fear for our lives.”

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piquantpiper · 5 years

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A Reading of "The House That Jack Built" As A Scathing Condemnation of Misogynistic Directors and the Complacent History of Hollywood

This contains spoilers for every bit of the film.

Lars von Trier's latest, "The House That Jack Built," features an architect-turned-serial killer named Jack traveling down the River Styx at the end of his life and telling anecdotes about the gruesome murders he has committed. He explains that he began taking post-mortem photos of his victims and dubbed his serial killer persona "Mr. Sophistication." His once-overwhelming OCD waned, and he became better at faking emotions, confidence, and charisma.

My reading of the film was that it was one huge takedown of directors who frequently employ cheap or gratuitous violence, especially against women. It highlights their resistance to criticisms and uses symbolism to call out the stagnation and complacency of the industry.

Jack drives a big obvious red van, leaves a trail, is clumsy, and is a terrible liar, yet he gets away with everything for over a decade because of everyone's willingness to look the other way, and also likely because it was “a different time” - the 1970s and 80s. The complacency of men and the law is underlined here. Cops in this film are ignorant as hell and never catch Jack even when he's daring them to or admitting his crimes to their faces. Al, the clerk at the end of the film, has known something has been fishy about this customer for years but he doesn't call the police until the very end, when Jack finally yells at him for once.

Jack stuffs dozens of women he's randomly killed into a walk-in freezer, literally "fridging" them and acting out a bad entertainment trope. The street sign here - Prospect - is broken off and only reads "Pros." It is featured every time he adds a body. The freezer is also filled with hundreds of cheese pizzas, representing the need for instant gratification and the homogeneity of the industry. "Fame" by David Bowie blares several times during the film until it nearly becomes a gag.

Like every insecure film school grad, Jack over-explains and over-justifies everything on his ride down the River Styx, going so far as to give little meta PowerPoint presentations about William Blake, the protocol of wild game hunters, how cool Albert Speer was, and how everyone who doesn't agree with him is a sheep who will never become a beautiful tiger embracing savagery as he does. He thinks he is explaining and justifying his choices, his influences, and his pursuit of artistic perfection. This is all utter bullshit and good ol' Virgil calls him out on it at every turn. When Jack says that we should look at the works of a person, not at their actions - an all-too-common comment on abusive but revered directors like Polanski, Kubrick, Allen, and von Trier himself - Virgil basically replies "you lost me when you started abusing children."

Uma Thurman plays the first victim. It seems significant that she would be involved in this project, given how vocal she has been this year about her experiences with Weinstein and Tarantino. In fact, her scene here seems like meta commentary on her own conflict with Tarantino during Kill Bill: They drove up and down a road a few times in preparation for a stunt. She felt unsafe and wanted a stunt driver. He kept pressuring her to do it herself. She did, and she was seriously injured. So when her character here insults Jack repeatedly and calls him a wimp, he snaps, killing her in his passenger seat after she's made him drive the same road three times. Both people in the car represent Thurman in real life. She "snaps" and finally does the stunt scene after being taunted, but she's the one who pays dearly.

Jacqueline Simple is the only character/victim we actually witness screaming for help, leaning out her window at night. Her name is a clue - she is a mirror to Jack, a representation of his fear of being unintelligent and his fear that he is merely screaming into the void with his art and will never be listened to. He cuts her phone line earlier that night while on a date at her apartment and enters into a feedback loop with her/himself, reassuring her and lulling her into a false state of security before he attacks. Jacqueline's scene could also represent the relationship between actress and director - her line to the outside world is severed and she now derives all validation from her abuser. He holds the keys to her freedom, literally.

Jack represents problematic creators, specifically directors, throughout the film. Chief among these parallels is his proclivity for post-mortem photography of his victims - posing their bodies to suit his whims. Jack finds the negatives of his photos more interesting than the originals - having an obsession with violence and drama. We see him shooting people often, either with a gun or a camera. He tries to rewrite the experiences of some of his victims by means of grim taxidermy, putting smiles on their faces before they freeze in storage.

If something is methodical and informed by theory and research, it HAS to be good, right? Boring directors probably think so. That's all the effort and thought that they care to put in. Jack explains the ethical pattern in which to shoot a family of deer: fawns first. If you miss the doe, she can survive without the fawns, whereas inverse is not true - and that would just be cruel! Jack even says he considers himself a gentleman for following this pattern as he shoots down a human mother and her two sons. (There's another layer of symbolism here, hinted at by the sign-off of von Trier's video that prefaced the screening of the film I saw in theaters: "Remember: Never another Trump." The clueless family had all donned red baseball caps at the start of this scene as visibility/safety gear at the shooting range, yet the caps make them into targets once Jack begins his spree. The caps represent MAGA caps, and the family's refusal to remove them even when in danger shows how reluctant Republicans are to admit that they were wrong. The apple pie at the picnic and the act of feeding it to the dead child further comments on von Trier's view of America.)

"Why are all the stories you've told about dumb women?" Virgil asks him. "I killed men, too." Jack answers. "But you're only telling me about the dumb women because you need to feel superior," notes Virgil.

When Jack starts killing men in the last fifteen minutes of the film, it's all intricately planned: he monologues, gives a bunch of backstory, brings up the military, and reminisces about hunting trips with his best friend, the elderly S.P. (Standards and Practices? ...Am I reaching now?) before shooting him to death. This stands in contrast with the earlier, fumbling murders of numerous unnamed women throughout the rest of the movie, which were sometimes even played for laughs. Jack finally gets caught, right after he murders his first man onscreen but before he can pull the trigger on another seven he had prepared.

There is no way in hell that we are supposed to sympathize with Jack or think he is a cool, slick killer. There is no way the director sympathizes with him. Jack is a massive joke who keeps getting away with things due to dumb luck and the utter complacency of the world around him, yet he gives more than one "you're all sheeple who can't understand my art!" lamentation. He even goes on a "men have it so hard, men are always assumed guilty" rant as he's skinning a woman alive. Hi, irony, nice to meet you.

Jack has absolutely no hope of redemption at the end. Virgil knows his narcissism will compel him to try to cross the broken bridge that no one has ever conquered, which results in him falling and burning in the very deepest pit of hell. Turning the screen to a negative exposure at the moment of the fall is the film's final taunt to Jack's character, as in "now let's see him try to find the beauty in that, in his own suffering."

We never see Jack at work at his day job as an architect/engineer. He buys a picturesque lakeside plot of land. The house that he demolishes and restarts multiple times at that location was supposed to be his real masterpiece, but instead he became fixated on his identity of "Mr. Sophistication” and the accompanying photography. He confuses this compulsion for his true calling, all while Bowie's "Fame" plays on loop. The house is never completed.

It is easier to destroy than to create, and it is easier to talk yourself into thinking destruction is some grotesquely beautiful esoteric art than to actually challenge yourself and endeavour to create anything original.

The character Virgil repeatedly reminds Jack that the greatest works of art have been borne of love. True art needs love, humanity, and feelings, which Jack will never understand because he is a stubborn psychopath.

This film is an overt callout of creators who think that stylized violence is a substitute for substance and that anything that is informed by theory is inherently good. Those who refuse to admit they're wrong or may have taken an unfulfilling life path, leaving a cheap and hollow legacy with no new message to impart. Those who think it is easier to paint someone's suffering as artistic than it is to unpack their own suffering and the root causes of it.

#The House That Jack Built #lars von trier

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sweetnestor · 6 years

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12 Days | Chapter 8.2

Two guys that lowkey hate each other are forced to walk in each other’s shoes in order to learn a lesson.

***in collaboration with @themarkiplierexperience

lmao soz its not actually x reader we’re just desperate for attention haaaa

“I want to ask what the origin story behind this is, but I think I’m better off not knowing,” Tom typed. He attached a “selfie” wearing a bright blue shirt with the word “Wowie” printed on it in a strange fashion. Then, he sent the whole thing to Ethan.

He did see the other texts from the boy that he received the evening before, but Tom was dying to show this to him now. He finally had a look at what Ethan’s “merch” was like. To say he was not expecting “wowie” on a t-shirt was an understatement. Why “wowie”?

Halfway through editing this video, Tom kind of despised Ethan… and he definitely hated the word “Wowie” with a burning passion. It wasn’t all bad, though. Tom had spent the day with a funny pair of people: Parker and Andrew. He didn’t have to consciously act like Ethan to get along with the pair. They were so graciously weird that seeing their friend act out of character was considered normal for them… if that made any sense. The three of them, along with Amy, made a video together that was about this awful blue t-shirt. A promotional video, and instead of having a whole filming crew complete with camera men and editors, it was all self made. It was impressive, don’t get him wrong, but Tom only thrived when he was on camera, not behind the scenes.

It was a minute and a half long video, yet it was taking ages for him to put it all together. Not to mention, Tom was awaiting an update from Ethan about Zendaya. Earlier, he had said that she wanted to talk, and god knows what that was supposed to mean. On top of that, Bella was getting a little harder to handle.

Tom had invited her to come along to shoot the video, but she had gotten immensely sheepish and timid when she heard about the people who would be joining them. She made an excuse about having emails to answer and business Skype meetings to have. She only returned to his apartment after hearing that Parker, Andrew, and Amy had left for the day, and even then she just stayed in the living room while Tom finished the video. Weird, but whatever.

A few hours later, Tom could say he was proud of what he had created. The video was very sarcastic, and kind of funny, but it got the message across: “Buy this ugly ass shirt.” Really, he didn’t see the appeal, but Ethan’s fans sure did. The shirt had been on sale on Ethan’s merch store all month, and as of today, there were only ten days left to buy it. Tom learned all of this through Parker, who had a hand in running the store. Thank god he wasn’t left in completely in the dark.

Thing is, Tom easily learned about different aspects of this kid’s life. He knew the girlfriend, a good amount of the friends, and just enough about his personality to get by. The hard part was the YouTube stuff, because everyone around him assumed that he knew what he was doing. They all assumed he was Ethan. How bizarre would it be if Ethan just suddenly asked for help on the basics of editing a simple video? How long would it be for someone to figure that this wasn’t Ethan, that it was somebody else? What would they do, besides throw him in an asylum?

A knock on the bedroom door snapped Tom out of his thoughts. He pulled off his headphones and granted access.

Bella came in, an unreadable expression on her face. “Hey…”

“Hi, love,” Tom greeted, turning in his chair to face her.

She stepped in, looking around the room as she tangled her fingers together. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, I’m just…” She sighed. “This is really stupid, like really stupid…”

“Oh, how bad could it be?” he asked, putting on a kind smile, despite how nervous the sudden tension made him.

Bella picked at her nails to fill the silence. But she finally asked in a soft voice, “why didn’t you ask me to be in your video?”

Honestly, Tom had been hoping she had that conversation with her real boyfriend. Even he found it weird that the “talking to women” bit from the video starred Amy. Why not Bella? It probably wasn’t something to fuss about, but the girl’s nerves radiated for miles, it made Tom himself feel like he had done something wrong. He didn’t even know how to respond.

“I mean, you and Parker came up with the video idea like what? Two weeks ago,” she rambled, “and you guys came up with the ‘talking to girls’ thing and your first thought was Amy? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I-I mean she did come up with the shirt design…”

Ah, so that was the culprit.

“I-It’s not that I wanted to slap you - uh, fake slap you for a video,” Bella went on, her voice getting shaky, “i-it’s just you didn’t think to ask me, I don’t know. Am I freaking out over nothing?”

“You freak out over everything,” Tom said without thinking. There was a small pause before he turned back to the computer.

“I know, it’s what I do,” Bella said, not seeming offended by that statement. “It probably wasn’t a big deal. I shouldn’t have bothered you, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Any other thoughts, concerns?” It was half sarcastic, but she took the bait.

“I’ve been… having dreams…”

Ethan was supposed to know that tone, what that particular phrase meant. Tom, on the other hand, was clueless.

“Naughty dreams?”

“No.” Bella’s tone was serious now. She paced around the small recording space, still picking at her nails. “Bad dreams. I’ve had dreams like this before… Ethan, please don’t make me say it.”

It had been five days since the switch, five days of being this girl’s boyfriend, and Tom was getting more and more impatient.

“Don’t talk about it then,” he said with a shrug. “If it’s really that scary, or disturbing, or whatever it is... then you don’t need to speak of it.”

Again, it was silent. Tom definitely said the wrong thing, but he didn’t know how to handle a girl with anxiety. He could barely handle Zendaya, even though he hoped to fix things with her.

“You’re probably right,” Bella spoke at last. She turned on her heel towards the door. “No one wants to remember that time, especially me.” She stopped at the doorway and looked back at him. “Oh, and I just figured out why I was freaking out over Amy. It’s been almost a year since Mark left me for her.”

Whoa. What would Ethan say to that? What would Ethan think about his girlfriend mentioning her ex?

Speaking of the ex, Tom’s phone dinged on his desk. Mark had texted him. Admittedly, Tom wasn’t really texting anyone consistently apart from Ethan. He had also ignored Mark’s texts from the other day, so there was a chance he wasn’t on good terms with the boss.

“Hey look man, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but I need an answer. Are you going to be returning to work anytime soon? Or do we need to make a public statement that you don’t work for me anymore? I’m not trying to put pressure on you, or anything with malice. I just need to know what’s going on business wise.”

Public statement? So the fans knew Mark had editors? And there had to be something said publicly when something changed behind the scenes? Is that how YouTube works?

“I think my girlfriend is hung up on you, you’re the last person I need to see right now,” Tom typed for literally no other reason except to see if it sounded like something his other half would say. He chuckled to himself after deeming that it was too ridiculous and out of line and went to delete it…

You know when you mean to do one thing but instead do another? Yeah, Tom somehow mixed up the ‘send’ key and the ‘backspace’ key, and well…

“Fuck!” he snapped, sitting up in his chair, watching as the angry text sent. “No, no, no, no! Shit!”

Oh god, Ethan was so fired.

Tom didn’t have the heart to tell Ethan about the wonderful conversation he had with Mark following that text. He read through the messages he received while he was editing over and over again just to avoid telling him what went down. Ethan seemed excited to be in Montreal.

“So guess I have a workout tomorrow morning? Wish me luck bc I’ll actually die.” That’ll be fun to hear about, but it didn’t settle the knot in Tom’s stomach.

“I’m almost ok with the switch if it means getting to stay in this house dude it’s so nice?? I’m never leaving.” Tom was not okay with the switch. He wanted to be in that house right now, leave Ethan with the mess that he made.

“I finished the wowie video. I hate the word wowie. Please never say it again,” he typed and sent before reading the rest of the texts. He noticed that Ethan will either be completely silent, or send multiple texts at once. No in between.

“Also,,,,, fuck kinda friendship you got with Harrison? You give each other lap dances???” Ethan asked. Oh no. Oh god. “Not judging, just wish I’d known you were rejecting zendaya for ur best m8 lolol.”

Tom literally groaned out loud and palmed his forehead. Then, he frantically sent, “IT WASNOTHING WE DONT SPEAK OF IT SHUT UP.” No way he was getting into that with this guy. He wouldn’t understand.

The next message didn’t help very much. “Speaking of Daya, we talked today. She asked abot how you feel and what you thought you 2 had going on. Made it clear it was her choice what happened, but that you’re just friends? Idk man how DO you feel?”

“Anyway, the videos were good. Much better than Tyler’s first edits for sure. Good job, I’m impressed.”

“Shooting starts tomorrow so I’m off to learn everything there is to know about acting…….. By watching some movie wiht the guys, gn.”

Tom sat there for a few minutes, trying to word any of the thoughts in his head. Why couldn’t have Ethan made the Zendaya decision for him? He seems like a nice guy, he’s had a girlfriend for six months, and she didn’t seem tired of him!

“I’ll deal with her when we switch back… by the way when are we gonna switch back??? Anyway, have a good night mate, have a pint for me!”

_____

tag list: @beardedsteveslut @marie-is-in-the-dark @ohsnapitzmoony

_____

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #tom holland x oc #tom holland x reader #sweetheart writes #sweetheart collabs #twelve days #drama? drama #it aint a fanfic without some petty ass drama #bella was patient with tom but will mark be??#tbh idek yet idek what imma do for the next chapter #these are all made at the last minute guys pls give us attention #also the tom/harrison/we dont speak of it thing #was from a text post i saw on here one time #so i slid it to sam's dm's and was like dude #we gotta #tbh idk what they did that night #we may never know #hehehehehehehe

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stellatex · 4 years

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Nine Questions I Need Teresa Giudice to Answer: Updated

Originally published February 15, 2016 I actually gave up Bravo for Lent, but I've already floundered on day one by continuing to watch, think about, and write about this bullshit. Sunk costs and all that.

So, here is my updated scorecard on the nine questions I needed Teresa to answer if she expected the viewing public to continue watching and supporting her.

1. You said in your statement to the judge during sentencing that you “fully take responsibility” for your actions. You said, “It’s time for me to wake up… I will make this right no matter what it takes.” Why, immediately afterward, in your interview on Watch What Happens Live, did you backtrack and try to deflect blame to your husband while insisting things were just put before you to sign?

In my opinion, she's doing this because she's being coached, either by her lawyer or a new PR team, or both, probably because they mistakenly believe that painting Teresa as some kind of innocent bedazzled Madonna will allow her to keep the Bravo Sunday gravy train chugging along. It's also possible that Teresa's advisors, friends, and various hangers-on, whoever they may be, are telling her how faaaaabulous she is--that's it's obvious she's the wronged party, and that she's so very strong and inspiring, etc., etc.--because they know who butters their bread, and, if history is any guide, Teresa has a habit of cutting out anyone who questions her lies and self deception (as we've seen both on the show and in the news reports about how she fired her publicist, her lawyers, and her co-writer). It's obvious that there are still a few small-time Jersey famewhores buzzing around Teresa in the mistaken belief that she is a queen bee. Typical celebrity yes-men and con-men. We've seen this over and over with celebrities, and it never turns out well, though a lot of people may make a lot of money in the short-term, and get some of that reflected spotlight that they so obviously crave. Regardless, like I said in my original post, if Teresa thinks she can just skate out of federal prison as a sinewy, chilled-out felon and continue to stonewall and deny and refuse to acknowledge any criminal culpability whatsoever, she has severely misjudged the nature of her dubious fame. But more on that in a moment.

Regardless, all of the interviewers asked her a fairly direct version of the question above; shockingly, Andy Cohen pushed it the hardest, asking point-blank, "What did you do? Can you tell us what you did?" And still she played dumb, owning up to merely "signing some papers." Girlfriend, we can all read the indictment. If you're so innocent, why didn't you take your case to trial? You admitted in the process of accepting a plea deal that you were guilty. Accepting a plea deal necessitates that you not only agree to pleading guilty, but that you are fully cognizant of what you are pleading to and that you understand the consequences. We all know what you did, Teresa.

2. You claim to be “business savvy,” telling your husband on an episode of RHONJ, “Like, you know, that’s what I do now. I’m a businesswoman, so I’m thinking business.” You’ve touted your online businesses, your Fabellini drink line, your Milania hair care line, your success as a “New York Time [sic] best-selling author.” So how is it that you are also simultaneously claiming to be a clueless housewife who knows nothing of her own finances, including the assets from said businesses that you tried to hide during both your fraudulent bankruptcy and your sentencing?

See above. This is bullshit.

3. If you are blaming your husband Joe for your ten-plus-years of financial fraud and the year you spent unjustly incarcerated in a federal prison, why are you still with him?

"Because I know he would never do anything to hurt me. He didn't mean to."

Uh, okay. That is also bullshit. Just transparently, obviously, self evidently, undeniably, total bullshit.

4. What would you say to the creditors, banks, and, most importantly, small business owners of New Jersey whom you and your husband fleeced to the tune of millions of dollars? Do you feel any obligation to repay these debts?

Still waiting on someone, anyone, to ask her this obvious follow-up question.

Furthermore, Teresa: I don't want to hear anything else about how this is all Joe's fault, or your brother Joe Gorga's fault, or your sister-in-law Melissa's fault, or your cousin Kathy's fault, or your accountants' fault, or your bankers' fault, or your attorneys' fault. It's not. It's 100% your fault. You're the one who committed the crimes. You're the one who went on national television flaunting thousands of dollars of cash purchases despite the fact that neither you nor your uneducated, clueless husband could possibly ever earn that much money legitimately. And, most importantly, you're the one who cravenly filed for bankruptcy to the tune of $13+ million dollars when you could no longer prop up your charade of nouveau riche consumerism for America's most satanic cable network. You're the one who stole from banks and fleeced businesses. You're a thief, a liar, and, now, a felon.

5. Explain this.

Everybody asked her about this, but instead of answering, she just blamed Joe, who leased it for her (another obvious lie; how did the bankrupt, apparently unemployed felon, who currently has a lien on his house to the tune of half a million dollars, get a lease?). She even blamed Lexus for putting a big red bow on top--which she claims they did because they knew it would be good publicity for Lexus! Uh, okay. I'm sure Lexus wants their brand to be associated with tacky low-life Jersey felons. Sure. Yep. Nobody asked her, "Why not a cheaper car, though?"

6. Why are you and your husband suing your bankruptcy attorney? Furthermore, do you not realize that, in doing so, you will be giving up your attorney-client privilege and opening yourselves up to a new investigation of your finances during the discovery process?

Nobody has asked her this. I am sure she's just say she can't talk about it. But I wonder if these questions have even occurred to her tiny, pisello brain.

7. What are you going to do when Joe is deported?

She demurs on this one, too, probably because--as Vicki Hyman points out--she doesn't want to jeopardize the incredibly small chance Joe has of not being deported per federal guidelines by admitting that she would move to Italy with him.

8. You talk constantly about your love, love, love for your four beautiful dorters. Why did you put them in this position?

I don't think anyone has really asked her this recently, but she is still selling the story that none of the dorters but Gia know what's going on. Which is obviously ridiculous.

And remember how she previously whined on-camera about how haaaaard all of this financial mess (i.e. her multiple felonies) has been on her four beautiful dorters, who don't even have a college fund!

So, you were busy stealing $13+ million dollars, and earning tens of thousands per episode appearing on Bravo, and earning more selling tabloid stories and writing multiple "New York Time bestseller [sic]" books, and buying all those designer clothes and bags and luxury cars, and creating that hideous redone home, and yet you didn't put any of the money aside for your kids? Honey, that's not on anyone but you. And you've made it abundantly clear from your actions that you do not give a single shit about the well-being of your girls. So shut the fuck up with the martyred mother pity party. America ain't buying it.

9. Why should viewers overlook your felonious criminal past and continue to support you by watching RHONJ or buying your books or products?

??????

This is the question.

I, for one, am not.It was clear from five minutes into Teresa's comeback tour that she hasn't changed one whit.

As a fan of the show from the first notes of the opening credits of the first episode, I was shocked when Teresa was sentenced. I had followed the news all day, waiting... waiting... waiting... for the verdicts to come down. And, much like her famewhore family members who allowed their reaction to be filmed (or recreated...) for RHONJ, I was utterly gobsmacked. This zany, silly, thoroughly unserious woman, whom we had all watched for years, was in fact "going away" to prison--and for a not-insignificant amount of time. In that moment, everything changed. This was really real. And I couldn't help thinking about the shock Teresa herself must've felt. She was clearly still in shock when she and Joe sat down for a WWHL special with Andy less than 24 hours after their sentencing.

But it was also kind of cathartic. It was obvious to everyone that the Giudices were Up To Something--from the first episode with the wads of cash and carefree spending. Having followed the case closely and read the indictments, I was not surprised--not really. Even as someone who had a love/hate relationship with the Bravo character called "Tre," it was an awful thing to witness--but it seemed just. And there was a sliver of hope there... that maybe Teresa would, finally, be forced to her own personal reckoning. Maybe, just maybe, all that time away from her children and the onyx manse and the cameras might give Teresa's limited mind the space it needed to feel a small glimmer of shame. That maybe the dawning light of that shame would lead to some actual introspection. She even used the vanity vehicle of "Teresa Checks In" (which I maintain should've been called "Teresa Goes Away") to brag about how much praying she was doing in there. I think many of us more savvy viewers were really hoping she was experiencing genuine remorse.

But nope.

The truly staggering thing to me about all of this is that even eleven months in federal prison wasn't enough to lead to any moral progress at all for this self-obsessed, brain-dead, glitter-bombed Portrait of Dorian Gray.

She will never change.

She is irredeemable.

Her story is over.

There is nothing new to see here. Watching the continuing cautionary tale that is Teresa Giudice is not only a waste of time and potentially personally morally corrosive, but--even worse--it's boring.

And the cherry top? Her blithe, casual endorsement of the candidacy of Donald Trump. I wasn't expecting that--though I probably should've--and it is so much more perfect than either of them could ever realize.

Both of them think they're famous; but, in reality, they're only infamous.

#RHONJ

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shitizsrivastava · 5 years

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TB#14 || To be a BIG actor, don’t be an actor.

The first thing that you have to do in life when you decide to choose the acting line is to make sure what you really want to become. Do you want to become an actor or you want to become a superstar?

Yes, make the choice now.

Both are not the same no matter how much you like to believe that or have been told that.

If you want to become a serious actor then join the theatre, learn the nuances of acting, come to Mumbai and start doing character roles. You can also join NSD or FTII and start your career from there, however, the struggle of auditions won’t change. It will help you initially and you will be happy to get a few roles in films and TV here and there but then that would be it. You will never be accepted in mainstream cinema.

To become a superstar, you don’t have to know much. Actually, too much knowledge will actually ruin your chances of becoming one. You need less knowledge but an open mind so that new knowledge and learning can seep in. A person with Less knowledge and closed mind won’t work anywhere in the world.

If you pick up a number of actors from theatre, NSD, BNA, FTII and other film institutes and compare them to those who have never been to any film school and who are successful, you will be amazed because the ratio will be heavier on the latter side.

Many pass outs from film school have so much knowledge that by the time they are out, their minds are closed to inhale any new information, thus causing career destruction.

I had the displeasure of meeting one such gentleman from a film institute who thought he was very good at this art but complained no one gives him work. He was a heavy drinker and thought that the world should adapt according to his idiosyncrasies rather than him trying to learn the ways of the world.

Does that mean that film schools are no good?

Wait. I didn’t say that either. I was just presenting you some stats.

Film schools are good when they give you the right training. Most film schools are confused about what they want you to become.

The problem is that most film schools concentrate on acting while the students want to become a celebrity like Shahrukh Khan or Ranveer Singh.

That is where the conflict of interest comes in, due to which when a student comes out of film school, he feels that he doesn’t know anything.

He is in the war ground of auditions but clueless about how to fight in the over-competitive world of Film Acting.

Let’s admit it, (nearly) everyone wants to become an actor because of the perks associated with it, not because they want to be called a “Good Actor”. Film awards at Film ceremonies are also not given for acting excellence either, they are rather given on the parameters of the popularity of actors in the public and the number of hits and blockbusters he gave that year.

First of all, stop being ashamed of whom you want to be. If you want to be a superstar then, first of all, accept it and be proud of it. There has to be no shame inside you for calling yourself a superstar or desiring to be a celebrity. If you admire Anupam Kher, then here is a chunk of truth. Kher would any day replace himself with Shahrukh but do you think Shahrukh would do the same though we know that Anupam Kher is a better, more versatile and more seasoned actor than Shahrukh.

One of my friends idealized Anupam Kher and wanted to become like him. Guess what, he ended up doing character roles and never moved up the ladder. The acting was a job for him for his inability to do anything else. He is a good actor but his mental roadblocks stopped him from achieving more.

Choose your ideals carefully. If your idols are wrong, you will end up in the wrong place. However, there is nothing wrong in admiring non-hero actors like Anupam Kher, Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri but I reckon anyone is living in the same posh and expensive bungalows in which Shahrukh Khan or Amitabh Bachchan lives.

No, that’s not the answer. Like any other art, acting needs to be learned as well. When people say that they think acting cannot be learned they are ignorant fools. What they mean to say is that acting can be learned but it does not guarantee a lead role in a big-budget movie or for that matter luck striking on you for you to become a superstar.

You have to learn acting but you have to keep your goals clear. I don’t care where you learn acting from, but from all that learning chose which information you want to keep and which information you don’t want to keep.

At acting schools the only things you need to learn are this :

1. How to face a camera.

2. How to remove your shyness.

3. How to perform in front of lots of people.

4. How to express yourself physically.

5. How to talk slowly, take right pauses and control the modulation of your voice.

6. Knowledge of different types of emotions.

Beyond this, there is nothing that you need to learn in acting as rest you will learn on sets.

** I know there are people who will tremendously disagree with me, but then don’t read it anymore. If you think your way is better, continue on your journey. If you think you need more practical guidance, follow me.

But getting all this is not easy. It takes a lot of practice which you can only get when you are inside a film school or a theatre. You may have inherited these things naturally if you have an extrovert nature or was more involved in extracurricular activities in college but those of you who do not, join some sort of classes.

If you want to become an actor who will win people’s heart from his acting skills and wants people to say “Wow, what an actor he is”, this article is not for you.

This answer was meant for those who want the audience to fall in love with them, irrespective of the character they are playing.

If you want people to get so crazy about you that they line up outside your house to get your autograph, to search your interviews online and makes your videos hit the moment they are released on youtube, you are at the right place.

(I am going to release a book on the same subject on Amazon soon so keep checking my Amazon channel for latest information)

So, the first decision you have to make and you have to make it right now. There is no procrastination on this thing, decide right now what you want to become.

Open your diary or a piece of paper and immediately write what you want to become.

If it is an actor, don’t waste your time dreaming about becoming popular. If it is a superstar, buy my book on acting and start reading it.

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anenglishgirl-americanman · 7 years

Text

Right On Time - Chapter 6

Hi everyone!!!!!!!.. I’m super sorry for the unannouced hiatus. Not had the best time, but I’m feeling much better now. And something crazy happened when I saw RHCP in December.. but I’m now back on this planet! Ha! So.. I got a message asking when I’d be updating Right On Time. Now, this was a while ago.. It’s taken a good amount of time to get here, but here you go! Enjoy! x

My bag had been packed, stuffed rather, with the majority of my wardrobe. I have no idea what to wear, what do you wear to a video shoot that your boyfriend is starring in? Ever since he said I was the girlfriend of a rockstar, I’ve tried to think like that. Honestly, I need to change my image, what I dress like, how I act, how I think. I feel this immense pressure, I want Anthony to want me, as much as I want him, but I’ll be honest, that’s all a lot of effort.

I was just putting the last bits into my bag and turned to look at my apartment. It was so small, everything was so close together, but I suppose the upside was that I didn’t have to go far to get my midnight snacks. If I stretched far enough, I could reach one of the cupboards without even leaving my bed! Now I think about it, this place is PERFECT!!

I went to the small round dining table next to the window, put my bag down on the floor and sat on one of the chairs. I looked towards the door, Anthony would be here soon, my stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of him. I flicked through the magazine that was on the table, pages and pages of crap, who wore it better, the low-down on the latest fashions. I was mindlessly flicking through it when I came across a familiar face. It was Anthony, and just in front of him, was me. It was the day that I got hit by the photographer’s camera. I studied the photo, I couldn’t believe how bad I looked. I looked so chubby, my face was puffy, my eyes were shut, could they have possibly picked a worse photo? Doubts started to creep into my head, is that what I really looked like? I read the caption,

‘Looks like Anthony Kiedis’s relationship with Blanca has officially ended after he was spotted with a mystery redhead, not his usual type! lets see how long this one last for!’

I gasped, I stood up and walked over to the full length mirror and examined myself. I turned to the side, back to the front again, turned to the other side, and then back to the front again. I couldn’t stop staring at my reflection. My hair wasn’t sitting right, I had what appeared to be suitcases under my eyes and I looked as chubby in real life as I did in the magazine.

I was starting to doubt myself.. I was starting to doubt being with Anthony Kiedis. What did he see in me? I’m the checkout girl at the local store, I’m nothing special! There was Anthony, handsome, tall, smart, talented, gorgeous, funny, kind, generous, beautiful.. and here’s me. The troll.

I pulled at the vest top I’d chosen to wear, I suddenly became really self conscious, suddenly aware of myself, how I looked, my slight lazy right eye, that massive freckle on my cheek, that strand of hair THAT JUST WONT STAY PUT. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster, my breath becoming short, my face turning a crimson red. Suddenly I felt the need to take a sharp intake of breath, and then fell to the floor, I was desperately trying to catch my breath but there wasn’t anything I could do. My body and brain were failing me, then an almighty anxiety wave hit me. Tears streaming down my face, I was sobbing, I gasped as I tried to take in air.

A knock came on the door, I was helpless, I couldn’t will my body to move, I was still trying to calm myself down from this monster of a panic attack. I’ not had one like this in a very long time. It had completely taken over me, I’d managed to lie down on the carpet, my body was exhausted, but it didn’t help my breathing. The knocks kept coming, more frequent, getting louder and louder until I heard a voice,

“Melanie, c’mon, we’re going to be late! I cant introduce my girlfriend to my bandmates if we’re already behind shooting schedule!” I could hear him chuckling. I stayed on the floor, shutting my eyes with tears still escaping them.

He knocked again, and again, and again, minutes between each one.

“Mel?” his tone of voice had changed, he was concerned. I desperately tried to reply through my tears but to no avail. He shouted my name again and banged on the door a couple more times. Then suddenly, nothing. No banging, no shouting. That made me cry more, I’d finally got my breathing to slow down, just a little longer and I could get up and try to piece myself back together. I was expecting to be greeted by a note passed under the door to say he’d left without me and to not contact him again.

A few seconds later and the lock was being opened.

“Quickly, I think something’s happened” Anthony ran through the door, leaving the landlord by the front door, his master key still in the lock.

“Mel!” Anthony ran over to me, got onto his knees and placed his right hand on my back and started to rub it in a soothing way, “Honey, what’s happened?”

I looked at him, worry spread across his face. He helped me sit up, moved to sit behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. I put my hands on his arms and leaned into him.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know if I should come with you today. “

“Why not? What’s the matter, honey?”

“I. I just don’t know if-,” I paused. How could I say this? I took a deep breath and tried again, “I’m not like your other girlfriends and I don’t understand why you want to be with me.” Tears threatning to escape my eyes again.

There was silence behind me, then a deep sigh. Anthony’s arms tightened around me, he leaned his head down and kissed my shoulder.

“You’re like no one else, Mel. You’re so special. Your innocence draws me in. When I’m not with you, all I do is think about you. You’re so incredibly beautiful, didn’t you every wonder why I constantly came into your store to buy random things? I just wanted a small glimpse of you, that would see me through the constant interviews, all the shows out of town, you supported me throughout all of that without even knowing!” He leaned round and kissed my cheek, brought his left hand up to my face, turned my head to look over my left shoulder and he kissed me on the lips, a lovely deep, gentle kiss.

“Anthony.. I,” I stumbled over the words “I really like you.”

“And I really like you, Mel. Now, shall we get ready to go film?” Anthony stood up, walked in front of me and held out his hands to help me up. “You look beautiful.” He smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek, the familiar butterfly feelings were coming back again.

Anthony and I arrived at the studio, parked up and we walked into where all the action was. I’d never seen anything quite like it, there was a circular stage, bright orange walls surrounding it and what looked like a giant hollow cube with a drum kit in the middle of it. My imagination started going wild, what on earth kind of video was this going to be?! The set was bustling with lots of people, all looking very busy, tracks on the floor for the cameras, make up artists on set. I’d never seen anything like it!

Anthony took me around to the back and showed me into a dressing room, there sat 3 guys and a young girl.

“Guys! This is Melanie. Melanie, these are the guys - John, Chad and Flea, and that’s Flea’s daughter, Clara.” I looked around at all the smiling faces, Chad, the tall one, was first up on his feet and he came over and gave me hug.

“Melanie! Nice to meet you, are you excited to see what’s going to happen?”

“I am.. I’ve never been on any kind of set before, so this is super exciting!”

“I wouldn’t get too excited, its super loud when you’re on set - you might even need ear plugs!” Clara laughed, which made me laugh.

John and Flea got up too, I stuck out my hand to John, who offered his hand and limp wrist to me, whereas Flea went straight in for a hug.

“It’s really nice to meet you guys, thanks for letting me come along today.” I smiled and looked over at Anthony who had stood back up and walked over to the door.

“Well, time we got ready. Mel, do you want to wait out on set with Clara? We’ve got to change.”

I nodded and followed Clara. The set was amazing. I couldn’t believe so many music videos were filmed in places like this, the viewer really has no idea what goes on behind the scenes and I was just as clueless.

A while had passed before the guys finally came out, Anthony came over to me and my mouth fell open. I’d seen Anthony shirtless before, on screen, in the Scar Tissue video. But seeing him shirtless in person was a whole other game. He was so toned, so strong, so sexy.. and this guy wanted to be with me?! Although he was covered in green paint, I’ve never been so flustered around a man. Anthony made his way over, laughing at my reaction.

“Loving the green, it suits you!” I said, winking at him, looking up into his eyes. He smiled and held eye contact for a few seconds, he then leant down to kiss me and slapped my butt as he was called away to the stage.

Soon it was all quiet on set, cameras surrounding the guys, when suddenly the music started. Flea was slapping his bass on stage in time to the music, then John followed on the guitar, bending backwards and then Chad joined in on the drums. The music was amazing. I was swept away in a whirl of orange, I stood there with my mouth open just watching the guys on stage. Anthony was jumping around, swinging off the cube that was on the stage, singing the lyrics. Then the music calmed down to just John playing, soon joined by Flea and Chad.

The guys played the whole song through from start to finish, it was incredible to watch. The joy on their faces, the joy on the faces of the people watching them. This band was amazing! I made a mental note to myself to listen to more of their music, I’m sure I’ve heard a lot of their songs on the radio but I don’t own any of their CDs.

Then came the solo shots of the guys, when it was Anthony’s turn, a light up cube, just like the one on the stage, was brought out and eventually it rose. Anthony had to get in the cube and was practising dangling himself around, placing himself in the corner, as it spun around. It made me get motion sickness, watching him spin round and round, but man.. he was so hot. I felt my face going red again, the way he was singing loudly, his moves, his body. I was in awe of him. Once the cameras got rolling, we all watched as Anthony sung and spun himself around. John stood next to me, laughing at Anthony. I turned to him and laughed with him, it was then I noticed John’s arms. Badly scarred, and still covered in green paint. I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask him what had happened, maybe I’d ask Anthony one day.

It was amazing to see the guys interact with each other, laughing at Anthony as he pranced around. John was next up, playing the guitar, bending his back, singing the backing vocals. He was having a great time, and I saw Anthony’s face as he watched him, his face was so full of love, hope, wonder. There was a special connection between him and John, so much respect oozed out of Anthony for John. He caught me looking at him, he smiled and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

“How you feeling, honey?”

“I’m feeling good. I feel really happy. Thank you for inviting me, this is just what I needed.”

Anthony looked at me and smiled again, “I’m glad that you’re feeling better. I want you to know how much you mean to me, how special you are. And I promise we’ll have a nice evening. But be warned, we’re filming again tomorrow, so no late nights for us!” He laughed and pulled me in for a hug, he was still shirtless, and my hands touched his back. Dang, even his back was toned, it felt so good being in his arms. Incredible, in fact. I felt this energy between us, my heart rate rose and I could feel my face getting redder. I was desperate for him, desperate for him to touch me.

You see, we still hadn’t had sex. It was my choice and he respected my decision. I felt like I wasn’t ready just yet. I wanted to feel ready, I wanted him to feel ready too, I wanted it to be special for both of us. I don’t mean rose petals everywhere, champagne on ice, a big lovely romantic meal. No, I didn’t want any of that. I wanted it to be special because it was him and I, connecting together, a connection that not everyone has. I wasn’t sure when I’d feel ready, but I was feeling pretty ready at that moment in time. Just being in Anthony’s arms was enough to get my heart beating fast, I was sure that Anthony could hear my heart, thumping away in my chest. I looked up at him, he was amazing. His peroxide blonde hair looked amazing, his eyes were amazing, just everything about him was amazing, and he was all mine.

Hours had passed and it was finally time to leave, we’d had dinner on set, there was so much food. I thought it best to not waste our money and use up what was there. Anthony laughed at me as I stacked my plate up, calling me cheap. I told him that he had no idea, he didn’t know what it was like living small pay check to small pay check, you had to make the most of every free food opportunity!

We finally got back to Anthony’s place. Walking down the long corridor, hand in hand, to his door, my heart started racing again. I couldn’t wait until we got in, I was desperate to kiss him, to run my hands up and down his back and his torso. I felt ready. As we got into his apartment, Anthony switched the lights on and turned to look at me.

“I’ve got something for you, close your eyes.” I did as he said, he held me hand and then put something cold in it. I looked down to find a door key. “To my apartment. I want you to feel you can come at any time, whether I’m here or not.” I felt this overwhelming wave of love coming over me, I looked up at him and kissed him.

“Thank you Anthony, I’ve never met a guy like you, you make me feel so special, so wanted.”

Anthony looked deep into my eyes, “I think I’m in love with you, Mel.”

I carried on holding Anthony’s hand, smiling at him, and then he pulled me in for a hug. We parted and I looked at him, I felt my heart fluttering, I completely felt the same way, no words could describe how amazing he made me feel. I stood on my tiptoes, and lightly kissed him, and then I whispered into his ear,

“I think I’m ready now.”

#Right on Time fanfic #Red Hot Chili Peppers #Anthony Kiedis #Flea #Chad Smith #John Frusciante #Red Hot Chili Peppers Fanfic

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63824peace · 4 years

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Tuesday, 22nd of november 2005

A friend pulled me into conversation this morning without even saying hello. "I saw a Quake-Cloud last week. It was terrible, frightful... just awful."

He claimed to have clearly seen a cloud shaped like an arrow, pointing from the sky to Roppongi Hills. He said it was obviously a Quake-Cloud... a premonition that Roppongi would suffer tremors.

The sight had shocked him so severely that he couldn't tell anyone about it until today.

"Last week?" I said. "But when? Which day?"

"I don't remember... perhaps Thursday."

"I hadn't heard any news of this."

"No, there's no mistaking it!" he insisted. "I saw a Quake-Cloud!"

He usually watches all sorts of television programs related to these matters. He's probably an expert by now.

"A Quake-Cloud, eh?"

What do Quake-Clouds even look like? Are they magnetic fields created from seismic distortions in the bedrock? I'm clueless on these matters.

I listened to him doubtfully, and he seemed to lose patience. The prophet muttered his forecast: "A huge earthquake will hit within two weeks." He appeared somehow relieved, and then he hastily tottered away.

A big earthquake, huh... maybe it'll come, and maybe it won't. If I start to worry about something as small as this, I might as well worry forever.

I should still prepare for the worst though. I have readied myself for the reality that a huge earthquake will hit someday.

I relayed the story as a joke to Matsuhanan, and he reacted with a serious expression.

"What's wrong?" I said.

Matsuhanan lowered his voice. "I'm not saying this to scare you, but--" His voice cut on the word. He leaned closely and hardened his expression. "I dreamed of an earthquake over the weekend."

"So?" I said. "What about it?"

"I had a dream, and in it we all got hit by an earthquake."

"Hmm. Well, still, that's just the sort of thing you'd expect from a dream, right?"

"However," he said. "On top of that, my wife also dreamed of an earthquake that very same morning."

Two similar events can happen, and we can still dismiss them as coincidences. Something more enormous than mere coincidence emerges when three similar events occur. How ominous....

Everyone who had not paid attention to our conversation earlier now listened intently. The air thickened, and the very atmosphere changed immediately.

Matsuhanan and I had both experienced the Kobe Earthquake. Memories from that time bubbled to the surface of my thoughts. I don't ever want to experience or see anything like that again. I decided to shut off these negative emotions as soon as possible.

"So you and your wife both dreamed of earthquakes? The answer's pretty simple here--you must have been on top of your wife without knowing it!"

"H-hey! That's not true!"

"Sexy Matsuhanan!"

"Oh, be serious."

I managed to ease the tense, nervous atmosphere with a little juvenile obscenity. We settled the matter with laughter.

We've seen some pretty scandalous problems lately regarding cover-ups of some buildings' vulnerability to earthquakes. The news broke when everyone concerned themselves with earthquake preparations. "How can we prepare for the big earthquake?" they asked. "And what will we do after the earthquake actually hits?"

I heard that some buildings can topple even under a small earthquake. If a building will collapse under just a small one, what will we do when the big one hits?

Dangers fill our world.

An earthquake will definitely hit us one day. No one knows when, of course, but Tokyo can't avoid its fate. It may hit tomorrow, within ten years, or even fifty years from now.

Still, we can't squander time worrying. We live in Tokyo, and we can't leave it. We certainly won't abandon it. We live with the possibility of disaster every day. Most importantly, we must avoid panic while also keeping ourselves prepared for our future quake.

A long time ago, Toho produced a movie called Jishin Retto (1980). Kaneto Shindo wrote the film's scenario; he's one of my favorite directors. The last scene disappointed me because it was just a rehash of the famous panic movie, Earthquake (1974).

The film's contents aside, the advertisement copy was great. It went something like this: "I knew it would hit one day... but I never thought it would hit today."

Over the past weekend I finally got to watch the bonus disc's extra footage from War of the Worlds. It lasted a total of 165 minutes.

They presented the Previsualization Method developed by Industrial Light & Magic (ILM). The method draws out the full potential of scenes that use a lot of CG and CGI.

Film-makers traditionally edited the CGI and V/A composition into the film after they had finished shooting. There's a problem with that method though. According to these traditional methods, we needed to shoot the film against a blue screen background. We could have a hard time feeling out where the non-existent objects, scenery, and atmosphere belonged in the shooting studio.

Each person's imagination differs from other people's imaginations. We have a lot of room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. The shooting studio only becomes more chaotic when everyone on the set works out of sync with the total scenario conveyed on the blue screen.

ILM invented Previsualization to solve this problem. Think of it as a storyboard transferred into 3D images.

Each person can coordinate himself with the total scenario when he examines the Previsualized images in the shooting studio. People can arrive at a consensus understanding among themselves before they shoot... the actors, the special effects team, the stuntmen, and the CG team.

We can use this to determine how all the visual elements will correlate. We'll also work more efficiently with ILM's Previsualization Method. Production costs will drop. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

James Cameron made a small model of his set while working on Terminator 2 in order to shorten his production period. He used a small camera to test various angles, and then he started to shoot. He cut back on the time needed to make his set that way.

Previsualization uses the same idea. We can decide how to adjust our special effects and our camera placement by moving character models through scenery in 3D space. We can decide how to handle our set, visual characteristics, props, and CGI usage after selecting the camera location.

This is how they produced War of the Worlds so quickly. Spielberg is known for a quick turnaround on his films, but Previsualization made this one possible.

I thought about how similar Previsualization seems to resemble our own development methods when I saw it in motion. We naturally used those methods when games became 3D in the late 1990s. We didn't pick it up from anyone... it's simply necessary to make our games.

We first construct the game using simple models and scenery. We treat the cutscenes the same way because they require cinematic effects. We test the module while minimizing all our resources, such as processing speed, MGS-defining characteristics, camera, and general operations. We must reduce everything to its bare qualities in our Previsualization Phase.

Once we fix everything using trial and error, we move on to full-scale production. The film industry's shooting phase equates to this.

Likewise, we don't use the older methods of making the game's map. Instead of drawing it directly, we structure the game according to the script team's provisional map. Once we've done that, we hand everything over to the designers. The pre-production period always lasts the longest while making a game.

The film industry could only have realized its Previsualization Method through digital technology. Film has finally evened out with the game-making process. Some aspects of game-making are behind the times. Other parts, however, are well ahead.

I ate lunch at the Nishi Azabu restaurant La Brace. I ordered spaghetti with ground chicken and Chinese cabbage. I wanted a drink of wine, but I controlled myself. Customers all around me wet their throats.

It's only on the lunch menu, but that was a big salad.

The pasta tasted delicious too. I paid a cheap price considering how much I ate.

We held our hiring interviews in the afternoon. After that we worked on our projects for MGS4 until evening, just like yesterday.

The project certainly is fun. I'd love to work on it twenty-four hours a day. I only want to create.

I'll totally shift my focus onto MGS4 once our new PSP project gets off the ground. I'll try to avoid entanglements such as interviews, clients, meetings, or lectures. I have to focus on my work during the pre-production and Previsualization periods.

At the bookstore I bought the fifth volume of Complete Cobra. I buy manga to read at a later date these days. I haven't got time to read any of them now, and the same really goes for novels. I finished reading Mr. Kurokawa's book Ansho, and I have started reading Parker's latest, Melancholy Baby.

I received my copy of NewWORDS, an entertainment magazine for mature adults. Kadokawa Publishing will release it November 25.

The cover really impacts the reader. It's a shot of Natalie Portman with her head entirely shaved! It will catch the attention of people in the bookstore. The magazine's first issue comes with a UMD Video that contains an episode of Blood+. I think it's really hip that they're not just including a regular DVD.

I wish this mature entertainment magazine great success.

I am actually helping NewWORDS by giving them an interview and writing introductions to movies. I'd like many adults to read it.

People in the past used to call Otaku a new type of subculture. Now we have all become adults. These Otaku now work as members of society, and they pay the usual taxes. They register to vote, and they participate in politics. They have married and now take care of families with children. They have become aware of their larger human community.

The Otaku's loneliness has disappeared, but his responsibilities have increased. These Otaku swore never to grow up -- yet they grew up without even noticing.

Nonetheless, games and anime still mean a lot to them.

People started calling manga "graphic novels." Manga became acceptable as dignified adult entertainment as time moved on. We also ought to have anime and games made specifically for adults.

But here's the question: will supply or demand come first?

Nothing will happen if we just wait for an answer. We're not looking at an issue of "When will it happen?" We're dealing with an issue of ‘Who will do it?’"

Who will innovate products to serve this market?

Now that I think on it, people in the last century used to call Otaku a new type of human being or an alien race. I think that Otaku should take a lesson from War of the Worlds -- they should return as adults from underground.

Our bodies retain the sturdy weight of our time's residue. As adults at last, we shall shed the filth on our own.

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