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tornoleander · 7 months

Note

Alright yes trauma and trauma in the bbnb and none of us will ever recover from that (help) But can we speak of the sweet moments? The comfort in between? The kinda break? I kinda wanna know your point of view on the lighthouse moment (or the other comfort scenes we got with this fic (like the Cole moments))

YES THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!

SO Much to say! I could write a whole essay about this (one day just for my favorite dead canary hater though she might want to read this)

But Holy hell the sweet moments are the root of my obsession. The contrast between them and the Horrors is an indescribable feeling.

I have to be SUPER cautious when talking about what I love about this fic because I don’t want people to get the wrong Idea It’s the most traumatic awful thing you’ll read and it’ll stick with you like a sick lingering feeling. (Even just finding these moments my heart aches at the surrounding events)

Having said that here’s my excessive response gushing about almost every single light in the dark moment.

Cw: Implied SA, Discussion of Rape, Mild gore, and depiction of bite marks

(Chapter 4)

Starting with this because his lighting powers were how he physically and helped him somewhat emotionally survived.

Jay’s eyes shot open and he breathed hard. This had been so complicated! But he managed to do it! Him! Jay Walker managed to reconnect his members by using his elemental power. Like a pro. He chuckled as tears rolled down his cheeks. Too easy. He raised both his arms this time, checking if he could bend them both properly. They seemed to be working; he could turn them as well, and his fingers were still responding correctly.

This was an hour after the second traumatic encounter. It’s such a rare moment of pride in his own strength. His limb’s physicality could not even function but Jay found a way to use his power like nerves to contact his muscles.

He is so unbelievably strong in an impossible situation and I’m a sucker for how Hat writes his lightning ability.

Clancee Stargazing

Clancee searched, curious, but then pouted “…I can’t see it…” Right. How did his parents teach those again? Oh! He remembered. “Focus on the biggest of them right now, can you see it?” He nodded, and the ninja kept going “It’s surrounded by three others, not as big, but close to it. Doesn’t it look like a pan to you?” The serpentine’s eyes were focused, then widened as he got it “Oh yeah! I-I see it n-now!” And Jay chuckled at the sight of wonders that was on the other’s face.

A pretty scene I’ve drawn this one. Just a small moment of joy in a horrific situation. Clancee while being a coward (will only help Jay by giving him eyepatches), does respect and sympathizes for him.

One of my favorites is the Skeleton

“How be yer bones kid?”

Jay raised his eyebrows “Uh… what do you mean?”

A crackle “I am no fool. I know broken bones when I see some.” He brought a hand to show his own ribs, cracked in some parts, then pointed at Jay. “Ye look like a pile of shit.”

The ninja chuckled “Well, at least I’m not dead yet, right?”

The bones brandished its sword “damn right!” and then, went back to look at the stars.

After some silence, that at least didn’t appear too uncomfortable, Jay cleared his throat, avoiding the previous question. “So uhm… what are you anyway?”

“Ain’t that easy to guess?” he seemed… amused? As much as someone without anything but its jaw moving could get.

Jay shook his head “No, I mean… you kinda speak like a pirate, but… I don’t know, you don’t give the impression of being one.”

“Are ya tellin I be too smart for bein a pirate, my boy?”

Well, Jay knew irony when he heard it, so he smiled as he answered “Maybe.”

I absolutely love this, the skeleton shows Jay kindness. The way he starts by joking, offering Jay positive intention. He later slanders Nadakhan, both are things ment to make Jay feel comfortable.

The end convo is tragic.

“I be aware of what the djinn is doing to ye. So hear me; use this to stab him in his heart when he’s distracted, I don’t need to go into details, do I?” he blushed and shook his head no, fighting tears and dread invading him as he realized that, yep, there was this probability that Nadakhan would rape him again. As much as he would fight back.

Yikes man, that hurts. The skeleton just does all he can do, he gives Jay hope and a weapon.

(Ch 5)

There’s not much comfort in chapter 5, but this is when Jay stabs, Nadakhan in the throat with the bone a moment of strength and confidence, though it’s riped away very quickly and Violently.

We also get to see Jay use his power to resist the vengestone burning anyone who touched it. Very cool love how he freaks everyone out. BUT OH god the horrors after FUCK.

(Ch 6)

The Scene with the First spinjizu master is beautifully done. The picture it paints is so perfect (drawing it next)

It keeps the other worldly feel of him offers so much strength. Gives Jay the option to die but the strength to keep going. It’s not Jay’s fault.

“Tell me Jay, have you ever seen lightning break?”

He shook his head. He looked above, feeling the electrified air rubbing on his skin, giving him pleasant goosebumps. On his back, he felt the sap of the tree speeding up, the grass almost bristling, pointing to him. The sky was clear though. Still blue, with golden rays starting to peer through it.

“Lightning… is never deviated from its course. Striking once, not missing its target.” He looked back at the man, bittersweet. “But I can’t do that; my lightning is slower and weaker then a raw one.”

The man’s smile grew bigger.

“For now”

He felt the strike of the bolt as it went for the tree, shocking Jay with its force.

Jay sparks a lightning storm under vengestone.

(Ch6/7 COLE OMG COLE)

Losing my shit for every scene he’s in SObBINIG over how much I love him. I reread all Cole parts an embarrassing amount. Ugh the concerned, he feels rescuing Jay. How he’s so observant and empathetic. THE COMFORT scene when he gets Jay to open up.

…No. He still was a ninja. He- he still was worth something. He could feel some warmth in the back of his mind, pushing him toward the earth ninja. And it wasn’t the first time he could feel it. It was a good feeling, almost akin to hope.

The trembling voice of his friend brought him back to reality. “…T-the first time?”

Jay’s eye widened. Oh. Right. More salty water escaped his eye “I- I- I couldn’t do anything about it. But I feel like I should’ve fought more! It’s just-!” he groaned as he tried to explain. It was hard. “Every time, he would offer me these kind of- ‘options’. But it didn’t matter what I choose, he would still- It would end the same-” he hiccuped, and tried to get more air so he could speak. Looking at Cole, he saw that he had his lips shut tight, eyes still black with tears. So many black traces on his face, reminding him of Morro’s own.

Fuck. He had forgotten how emphatic the earth ninja could be sometimes. He had not expected this reaction at all. He’d think that he would’ve pitied him, maybe even think that this would be enough for him to be repulsed by Jay. But no, he could still feel the arms around him. Firm.

I’m not not crying after the 100 time reading this fuck you I can sob my eyes out all I want.

“It’s not your fucking fault Jay, please.” He looked back at Cole. He seemed so sad. And a little mad. He swore he could something bright burning in his eyes. Warmth was now all Jay could feel around his wrists, but he didn’t think too much of it.

He just placed his head back on Cole’s chest, disappointed in himself. But still happy he’d been able to get most of it out. It did feel good. He was glad to be with him.

“…Can you hold me again?”

Cole nodded and immediately embraced his friends in his arms. It wasn’t feeling cold anymore, and Jay was just so tired. This temperature was very different than Nadakhan’s, and it was all that mattered.

For once, he could fall asleep, feeling at ease.

He’s what Jay needs right now. He wants so badly to take Jays pain away but there’s nothing more he can do than be there.

Love the way hat added his lava arms very warm and protecting. AND amazing for punching that motherfucker in the face later.

(CH 8)

Thank you Nya for bringing him to the hospital. Jesus Christ I have a scar reference and Jay has been left in a blender.

I Love the nurse. I’m usually not big on OCs but Ava gets a pass. The interaction feels realistic, I love her sense of humor and story. Judging for going through medical school and then settling on becoming a therapist later in sheesh that’s a big pay and with medical debt!?! cut, but other than that. But Jay needs a therapist right now. Leaving a lot of her speech in because what she says is incredibly important. To the fic and real life.

“What do you say to your patients that have… uhm…”

She bandaged his hand while he struggled with his words. He could feel tears rising again, which was getting annoying at this point. He used his free hand to get rid of them, as she finished bandaging the damaged one. He didn’t know why he couldn’t name what happened. Why was he so stubborn on not being able to even say what happened.

His voice felt small. “…That got- got raped?”

He felt her grip tighten around him. She had been about to put a bandage around his right arm, where it had been sewed, but stopped. She breathed heavily, before moving the basin on the floor so she could seat, to handle what had just been said to her.

“FSM. I wanted to be wrong on this one.” She sighed and grabbed the same cream she had used on his ankle, rolling the seat up so she could be near his shoulders. She squeezed some ointment out and applied it on his shoulder. Harshly. As if wanting to keep Jay here, to make sure he wouldn’t let his mind wander in more memories.

“The first thing I’d say to them, is that none of it was their fault. From the moment there was no consent, then it’s not them they have to blame. It’s the one that did that shit to them. There’s not a lot you can do when you’re feeling danger everywhere around you. Some people freeze, or even go along what’s happening in order to have it be over as soon as possible.”

Jay frowned, swallowing thick. “And what if they begged for it at some point?”

She clicked her tongue. “Wanting pleasure, being lost in lust, as some would say, has nothing to do with consent. It can feel good even if you don’t want it. And that’s the only thing you have to remember. You did not want it.” he tried to speak, but she cut him. “Sometimes, no one has control over their brain, on how it reacts to things. It’s complicated to explain, but it’s quite easy for someone that knows how, to muddle with their target’s mind.” She gritted her teeth, and went to wash her hands when she was done with his shoulder. She came back to disinfect the multiple cuts she had found, precise. “It can be through drugs, touch-starving. I’ve heard things about-” she cut herself, gnawing at her lip. She was hesitant on sharing what she’d heard during her time helping people getting rid of their trauma. But Jay wasn’t having it.

“About what?” he sounded impatient. Or maybe afraid. He wasn’t sure.

“About… well, it’s fucked up, but making sure the person can do nothing but take it. And somehow make sure that the body can only feel that.” she looked at Jay, for a brief moment, but saw how he inhaled at the shared info. She sighed. “But at the end, it never is your fault. No consent or choice? Then no blame to take. That’s it.”

“… and how do I forget about it?”

She sat back on the stool, not able to stand with the conversation they were having. “You can’t really. At least, not in such a short time.” She tapped her fingers on the small table as she started to write down what she had seen. “I don’t want to lie to you. You’ll never forget about this. And your body won’t either.” she looked at Jay “But this doesn’t mean you’re weak, or anything like that. I hope you’re aware of this. Going through it and still standing?” she pointed her long fingers at him “That’s some damn strength I’ve rarely seen before.

“You gotta keep using that strength. And to do that, you have to accept what happened.” She got some bandage that sounded like tape, placing it on the largest cuts on his chest. Starting with the ones Nadakhan did, since they were the deepest. “You have to stop keeping that in, stop ignoring it, and accept the fact that, damn it Jay, you’re still breathing and alive. And sure, you were a victim. But, again, this doesn’t mean you weren’t strong, or that you should blame yourself for not fighting back more. But whether you like it or not, you did fight back. And I know, deep down, you know you are not responsible for any of this.” she groaned when she noticed a cut she had missed on his side, taking some kind of needle near her to get rid of the pus there. “You were not given a choice. And you should not feel ashamed that this happened. You have the right to be angry, mad, at this, or to not react to most things anymore.” She tapped the rest of his large cuts, and came back with a soaked cloth of alcohol, passing on them.

“None of it Jay, was your fault.”

He had let some tears go without realizing, breathing shakily. Her hand held to his arm and squeezed there, bringing some kind of comfort. He caught her wrist with his free hand and squeezed back. He breathed, just like he needed to, and tried to not cry more.

“Cry you have to. It feels good to do that y’know? Look at me, almost forty, and you saw me crying like a baby. Have the head of one too.” He couldn’t help the light chuckle. He brought a hand up to get rid of the tears on his cheek. “Fuck.”

This is key it establishes good core Morality in this fic.

Something that’s so sooo hard to talk about and almost never written right.

Actions and physical pleasure while being raped.

Jay in this fic struggles with this throughout the entire fic. HE blames himself hard. It’s the most common way to react for those with that trauma.

Difficult to understate how much pleasure fucks with your brain. I HATE when it’s used to justify atrocities. Real life and fictional. I was scared that’s what Bbnb would be but it never does that. Forced sexual pleasure can be the most potent vile emotionally physically psychologically traumatic shit there is. And Writing_Hat knows this.

(Ch 9)

Nya Light house :)

He wondered how she would open anything with those, since it wasn’t a padlock.

She raised her arm, and smashed the knob repeatedly, until it broke. If she had broken much more then the door, they didn’t say anything about it.

He smiled, amused. “Yeah, I guess that works too.”

Nya sighed heavily, looking to the side. She shrugged. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” He gave her a smirk. “We’re tired. I can understand frustration at the slightest inconvenience.”

She scratched the back of her head, and snorted. “Yeah.”

In this moment, he could see Nya, the woman he’d fallen in love with. The one that made mistakes, but couldn’t admit they were ones, like him. That didn’t like relying on anyone, not even Jay, when they used to date. Not even her brother. The woman that had built an entire mech with pure frustration, of being left behind, of not being able to help when she knew she could. That loved machines and fixing stuff as much as him.

Nya *bashes in door

Jay: Omg I’m so in love with her

Can’t help but laugh every time I read through this scene.

“Do you think seagulls eggs are edible?”

Lmao this conversation

Ugh and Nya written so real, she expect Jay to be transparent with her like he’s always been and believes that he is fine when he tells her.

He placed his forehead on the wood as soon as the door stopped getting pushed. “I can’t do this anymore. Fucking Master, I can’t do any of this anymore. So please-” He took a shuddering breath, trying to focus his blurry vision. He felt something getting on the wood on the other side, and wondered if she had her forehead there as well. It only made him want to sob harder. “Please, don’t remind me of how weak I am.”

He had whispered that, but the sob that reached his ears made him aware she heard him.

He cried. He cried, and let himself sliding along the wooden door, to be on his knees. He didn’t think he’d be able to stand up after this. He placed both hands on the door, not bothering to hold the handle anymore.

“I’m so sorry Nya.” He breathed, speaking through his tears. “Please, just please. Don’t ask questions. I’m begging you.”

He heard a sniffle from behind, before an exhale echoed in the other room. “I won’t. I swear. Just… just let me help you take care of those.” She cleared her throat. “You did so fucking good so far, I swear, but stop pretending you can take care of those on your own. At least, let me help you with the physical pain.”

Jay closed his eye. He waited, but he still didn’t hear her getting away. He sighed, getting rid of the last tears on his cheek, before getting back up on shaky legs. He turned the lock, slowly, but didn’t touch anything further. He walked away from the door, making sure to be facing it.

Nya waited a little, before opening the door, slowly, peaking her head inside. She had red and puffy eyes, her face still fresh from tears.

“…Jay?”

He raised a hand “Just.” He turned to the bed, sitting on it with a big sigh. “Let’s just get this over with. Please.”

He won’t take care of himself >:( Hat said Nya has trauma from Kai never actually taken care of himself or opening up till crisis growing, so she’s pushy.

Arms surrounded him. Strong, but not as large as the djinn’s. Holding him with force, but not too tight. Just what he felt he needed. The person was red, illuminated by in a blue light by his powers as lightning shot everywhere to attack those that dared getting close to him.

But she could stay. Her embrace was burning, at first, like a brand. So he tried to push her off, as much as he pulled on her clothing to have her close. He didn’t want to be left alone again. Not with Nadakhan, at least. He didn’t want to face any of this twisted evil on his own. The vines that were strangling his heart to pump his blood faster diminished their strength, so he could breath correctly as she hugged him.

Finally, he hugged back. His nails clinging at her back. He didn’t understand it, but his powers were still coming out of him. He didn’t understand that it meant she could be getting hurt too. But she seemed so patient. The thought that she could be in pain didn’t even brush him.

He just needed her.

The blue lights all over soon diminished, and the heartbeat in his ears slowed. He still could only hear that, until he could hear someone breathing. It was low, and focused, so he based his own lungs on that rhythm. It felt good, like water lulling him. Soon, he wasn’t drowning anymore. He was floating, because the water had decided to help him out of the depths.

Comforttttt Nya gets lightning scars tooo. The wording here makes me happy water symbolism it’s so ugghhh!

(Spoilers ch 10)

HAt said screw canon, they kiss!!! And I’m all here for it.

Time stopped for Jay.

It felt eternal, in that moment, to have her lips on his, correcting some of the fears from in his brain. This, was a kiss. Not like anything the djinn had stolen from him in a horrible way. She was so nice, and careful in this. Almost moving naturally.

The surprise made him gasp, small sparkles escaping his lips. But she didn’t back away; in fact, it was almost as if it made her want to deepen the kiss, sighing at the feeling of Jay’s lightning on her lips.

But he hadn’t been able to kiss back, nor enjoy it properly, before she pushed him back through the portal.

Jay’s interaction with his parents breaks my heart.

“Mom! Oh Master, Mom! It’s really you!” She gasped at the sudden hug, her bones and joints not really used anymore at surprising movements or anything like that. But she took it, for Jay. She hugged back, her hands pushing on the between of his shoulder-blades, to feel him through the tissues. But it wasn’t the only barrier. There were bandages here, too. She frowned, but kept a firm embrace, wanting to focus on the fact that he was here.

“Yes Jay! It’s me!” And she couldn’t really fight the way her voice wavered, not enjoying the emotions that strangled her. “You’re home.”

“H- Home?” He pulled away, looking around and panting, as if out of breath.

“H- Huh. I didn’t…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but frowned as he looked around, perhaps suddenly realizing that he was, indeed, home. She didn’t ask anything, and grabbed his face between her hands, to get him to look at her.

“Oh Jay. What happened?”

He breathed. “I just… I- can you hold me? Please?”

She nodded, and sat on the bed, to hold him properly. He threw himself on her, trying to keep air flowing in and out despite his unstoppable sobbing. She passed her hand back and forth on his back, thinking of nothing in particular. She couldn’t, or she’d lost herself in despair.

And if she did, she would cry with him, and wouldn’t restrain herself to ask questions, and figure out what had happened to her baby. Why was he hurt? Who did this to him? What happened to his eye? Did he come back from another fight?!

Oh, sometimes she wondered why he hadn’t just stayed their little boy, chasing his dreams in the big city as the most creative inventor. But Ed and her could never go against this dream of his. They could only stay in the back, and encourage him as he became, well, a hero.

The price was too big, she saw it every time he came home, with marks from his fights, or when he had to turn down one of their invitation to get to work. He usually came back with a big grin, proud of himself with new tales to ramble about, or complain of the simplest things. But it had never had this kind of consequences.

Something horrible happened to him. And she hated the idea that she hadn’t been there for him.

MAN

A little moment I like personally, and I drew is when Jay summoned his Dragon.

“Jay laughed. He had done it! He had summoned his dragon! The wind slapping his face and messing with his hair had never felt so good! He sighed, enjoying the fresh air above the desert, wanting to throw his fists in the air and scream at the top of his lungs. So he did! This stretched on his muscles, hurting, but not enough to stop his insane happiness, taking over. He screamed, glad no one was around to witness this madness.

Frankly, he didn’t think he’d care about that.”

(This was the second thing I drew in the scars are not accurate)

He blinked, looking at the concerned face of Cole. His friend gave him a bright smile upon seeing he had woken up. “Hey zap-mouth.”

Jay groaned, not able to stop the small smile on his lips. “Hi boulder brain- ugh.” He still felt heavy- perhaps side effects from being stuck in that blade, and had to accept the hand that was offered to him to get back up.

The cold hand was a welcomed feeling. He looked at it, then the arm, and then Cole.

I… I did it. He looked around, seeing his friends, all watching him expectantly. He swallowed hard, tears building up as he realized he truly had managed to get everyone out of the blade. Holy shit.

He noticed the cabin was now in shambles, but couldn’t think of it too much, when a hand came on his shoulder. He looked up, to see his Sensei, nodding to him.

Strong red arms pulled him into a hug, wheezing air out of him. “Jay you did it!”

He cracked a smile, and chuckled, tears falling down. “I… It’s great to see you guys!-” The grip around his arms tightened, forcing a cry to get past his lips. Kai placed him back down, apologizing, and dusting off his arms- only making things worst, but Jay wasn’t about to tell him.

COLE COLE AND other I love them I Need Them. JAy did it!!

(Ch 11)

A strong hand on his shoulder. He looked behind, seeing Cole with worried features.

“Jay, wait.”

He pinched his lips. He knew the question that was going to fall on him, but kept looking at his friend anyway. “How…” He swallowed thick. How was he supposed to ask this?

“How are you holding up?”

Jay gnawed his lip, his mind spacing out quickly as he thought of all the answers he could give- answers that would make him fall on his knees, body weakening if he ever stopped the adrenaline, to really take in all that had happened. A pain flashed through his spine, and he had to hold back both tongue and tears to not crumble in the hands of his best friend.

So, he shrugged. “I’m fine, I guess.” Lie. Lie lie lie lie- and Cole knew it. “I just… I’ll feel better when we get rid of Nadakhan.”

The ghost frowned, lower lip trembling as he restrained the shaking of his body. He wanted- he wanted to do something, anything. Hold the blue ninja in his arms, maybe? So he tried, but Jay took a step back, and it was like a spear, got through his heart. But he couldn’t force his friend to come to him, he had- to respect whatever was happening to him.

“Cole, can you… can you not say anything to the others?”

It broke him from his thoughts. What? “I just… don’t tell them what happened. Please. I- I can’t-” he gasped, and cleared his throat. “I can’t keep going if the others know. Please.”

Cole nodded, but Jay shook his head. “No, I want you to promise me with words. Here, and now.”

What am I supposed to do? If he even tried to share that with someone-who could he even say that to? Jay didn’t want anyone to know, and this was his choice. As… heartbreaking as it was.

As difficult as it would be for Cole.

Especially when he wanted Jay anywhere but near the djinn. But they needed him, and his guidance, since he was the only one that had spent that much time with- fuck, he hated thinking of that. And, with the lightning ninja wanting nothing more then what had happened to be kept as a secret, telling everyone that he did not want to see Jay part of this mission could only raise suspicions.

Fuck. Fuck, I hate this. But after everything, they could talk about it, he hoped.

“I…” He couldn’t go against that one wish. “I promise, Jay.”

COLE AGh MAN fuck my feelings every time you open your mouth.

He then looked back to his friends, seeing Cole trying to come back to him and Nya. Which, Jay knew he could’ve managed, with how weak Dogshank was becoming each second, soon without enough force to keep him from coming back in the room.

But Jay shook his head. It froze Cole on spot.

He could almost hear the panicked interrogation in his head, and it made him crack a smile. Such a boulder brain.

He looked at his best friend, silent tears falling as he made him understand that he couldn’t come to save them. Not now. Cole gritted his teeth, still hesitant. So Jay mouthed the word “Go”, letting unspeakable words being shared, to make sure he would not try to come for them. Jay and Nya were too weak to follow, and by the time they reached the broken doors, Nadakhan would’ve already gotten rid of Doubloon. This, he was sure of.

So they had to escape, now that they could.

I’m counting on you to save us. Cole cried, but nodded back, following reluctantly his friends and the pirates that had helped them.

Uggggh he had to leave Jay behind to save them all hurt how much they care for each other.

(13 there is 0 comfort in ch 12 oops Just horrors)

JAY Catches a LIGHTNING BOLT and fucks of the monsters arm.

Catch that force, take it away; but this time to keep it in. He inhaled hard through the mouth, because his nose had stopped answering too, apparently. He twitched, once, twice, feeling everything collide inside of him; the electricity he produced, and the one coming from the outside. Electrons mad to be confronted to something that stayed a threat despite their similarities.

But they had no choice. They had to cooperate. His fingers shook, as he absorbed everything, and then everything tensed, and then-

He took a deep breath, feeling the insanity of his lightning under his skin. He heard gasps, and he really didn’t know what that much power was looking like on him. He exhaled, and focused his eye back on the djinn. He still had his hand on the lever, made out of metal, like everything around them in this room. And he has no fucking glove.

The lightning was buzzing, getting his train of thoughts. Apparently, liking the idea.

Because Jay did.

Jay cracked a smile, enjoying how it made Nadakhan’s eyes widen in surprise.

Motherfucker.

After thinking that, he released everything, letting it explode through the vengestone, the chains, the wires that were connected to him, and the machine.

It felt heavenly, despite old and new wounds re-opening under this much pressure. He could feel his blood, pouring out, from his head, his arms, hands, chest- he coughed, as lightning still escaped him, feeling the dizziness taking over.

Last thing he saw, was Nadakhan holding a smoking arm, screaming and looking at Jay with rage.

Worth it.

He blacked out with a smile, ready to let himself go.

The kind lady give food :,)

“Oh First Master of Spinjitzu. You’re… you’re Jay! The lightning ninja!”

He tried to answer, getting shocked by his own nerves. He shook his head, almost feeling those sparks escape his mouth to float all the way to his brain, before gone. He clenched his fists, trying to get back on his feet with the help of that golden bar, and looked at the woman through the cage.

He sighed. “Used to be.” Damn, his voice sounded broken and raspy. He looked away in shame.

“What?” She took back the pitcher she had used to hydrate him. “What do you mean?”

“Take a look.”

And she did. Though her face indicated that she had focused on his state before, it seemed like she still wasn’t able to stomach it. A shuddered breath made it past her lips, and she reached for something inside the pocket of the robe she was wearing- the cloth had flowers pattern, probably beautiful when brand new. But here, it was torn, in parts…

Seems like we got one thing in common, fuck. He turned his head away, not able to take in something else he had failed when he had given the djinn power. He started to shake, ready to let another trail of tears fall down his face. But he couldn’t, not in front of someone who seemed as distressed as he was; so he took a deep breath, and turned back to look at her. She had retrieved bread, in that dress, that she handed to him- to his mouth, since he couldn’t use his hands.

“Here, I stole that from the kitchens.” She smiled. “They’re not very careful about things.”

He thanked her, and opened his mouth. His stomach rumbled, and though he blushed in embarrassment, she didn’t say anything, holding the back of his head so he wouldn’t get hurt when bending his neck that way to eat the bread.

It was dry, but it was better then nothing. And after so long without food, it felt heavenly.

How many people were stuck here? People he couldn’t help, despite his best attempts.

Fuck off, what kind of attempts, exactly? When he had tried to cowardly run away from Delara? Or when he had eaten an innocent?

He was useless. And he knew that. She must’ve noticed something in his eye, because she hurriedly spoke, as soon as he finished the bread.

“Please, don’t give up. I have no idea what’s going on outside.” She took a deep breath. “But if you’re still alive, then it has to mean not everything is lost. Please.” She placed a shaky hand on his shoulder, her eyes watering with emotion. “Please.”

…Was she seeing a symbol of hope? He hated that. He wasn’t one! And he had to tell her! But when he opened his mouth, no words came out. Instead, his throat tightened.

Because he could see the cracks in her, too. How close she was to give up- she had, at some point. Did seeing Jay lift her spirits back up? Her eyes were almost dull, but ready to let that hope shine through.

So…

He nodded, ever so slowly, and forced on his muscle to speak. “I won’t. Don’t worry.” Lie. “I won’t let anyone down.” Maybe she wouldn’t notice he was lying, since he couldn’t really make a difference himself if he was or not; it sounded more like he tried to convince himself.

Something sparked, in her eyes, and a frail smile drew on her lips when she sighed, relieved to hear him say those words. “Thank you. For everything-”

The Ninja finding him is currently the scene that’s emotionally devastating me.

Cole took a deep breath, and raised both arms up. He then left some space, walking back.

Jay looked at him confused, but with a form of relief. His arms lowered down, and he was still shaking, but it somehow worsened when his eye suddenly widened- the face he would do when realizing something important.

So, the earth ninja tried to keep his face neutral, as he looked at him directly in the eye. 

“I swear Jay. I swear to you, I’ll make them pay.”

COLE they found Jay because of him this scene is so so sweet and bitter.

A hand came on his back, and he gasped. But this time, the hand didn’t go away. It pulled him, and he tried with whatever force left in him to fight against it. But he ended up in the cold arms of the ghost, embracing him like he was the most precious thing in the world. And he hated that, just as much as he craved this. Because this really was his best friend- because it meant they still cared.

Other arms came in, and he saw the white tissue that defined the ice ninja. Still so cold, somehow more then the ghost’s ones.

He cried when red surrounded him too. Sobbed, even, in the welcomed heat that was so different from Nadakhan’s, bringing some kind of peace to his mind at the idea that the djinn’s was nothing but foreign and poisoning, compared to this one. He hadn’t even been aware they could be different kinds of heat- or maybe his brain was making things up to make him feel better.

Never the less, he held onto those. He didn’t know which arms he was holding onto, exactly, but he couldn’t care. He sobbed harder, closing his eye, realizing that this was real.

His brothers were here, and he was about to get out of here.

I’m so soft for hugs I can’t even function.

Anyways thanks again for the ask!! I think my heart has been waiting for someone to ask me this.

For more of my bbnb art here

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