Tumgik
#my thoughts are non stop and we're not allowed on our phones at work anymore so I have to bottle a lot of thoughts to unleash at once
itspupppycat · 3 months
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I might actually be ready to update my game in the next few days. Despite not getting the actually achievement, I have successfully played through ten generations in the sims 4. The achievement still says 8/10 but I know that I've now had 10 generations die. I think it's because I split their household and it stopped counting the rest of the Langleys or it's broken either could be correct.
This means I can retire the save and edit some post together. I have zero timeline on when those post might actually come out and I don't want to hear I peep when I start posting about other sims for a while before you ever see the Langleys again. I may need an extended break from thinking about them.
So that means I have to cross check all my mods to see what needs to be updated and what is safe to use and what is obsolete. It might take me a few days or a few hours it depends on how motivated I am. Thankfully there are handy tools for helping with that process. I can't wait to get my hands on some other sims! I have a green woman to make and I know just what my inspiration will be 🤭.
Actually it won't really be that terrible of a situation because I'm itching to play some vanilla-ish save so I don't really have too many mods to update in that case. Yes that will bite me in the ass later when I switch to a more modded save but I'm due for a break from that right now. First I need to make my green woman so that's my cc save and I already saw that all the mods I use in that save are updated. Then I'll switch to vanilla-ish. I guess I just rambled my way into a plan for the week. Yay!!
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seonghwa-is-babie · 4 years
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Protective pup
Y/n And yunho haven't gotten the best response to coming out, getting a lot of hate from antis, unfortunately, y/n got a bit more than just online hate, all because he looked too scary and intimidating with his height and tattoos
Yunho x male reader
Warning: slight angst (cursing, bruises, crying)
Note: sorry if this made u cry ;-;, and that the ending's a bit awkward
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Today was a wreck for y/n, ever since he and his boyfriend, Yunho came out as a couple, he's been getting a lot of hate from both fans and non-fans. y/n tried to stay strong in front of him, but in reality he didn't know how much hate he could handle anymore, since it was escalating to physical harassment
It wasn't uncommon for him to come home with bruises, but he did his best to hide them from yunho, he was already stressed with their comeback being right around the corner
Today was another one of those days where he got beat up for being in a relationship with their 'oppar'
🐶
Once he got home he expected to be welcomed by his boyfriend, Yunho, with open arms, but he wasn't home at the moment, so y/n decided to text him
________________________________________
you: baby why aren't you home? I thought you were done by now?
Yunho🐶❤️: They're making us practise a bit longer for our comeback
you: When are you coming home then? I miss you...
Yunho🐶❤️: We're almost done, don't worry :)
Yunho🐶❤️: love you😘😘❤️
_______________________________________
Deciding he had enough time left to hopefully cover up the wounds, he went to the bathroom to get some bandages for the cuts, and foundations for the bruises
🐶
After bandaging up his arms and putting on a decent amount of makeup to cover up the bruises
He turned off his phone, hoping to not see anymore notifications from comments under anything he posts "maybe he is better off without me, or he can find someone else who's so much better than me, who isn't hated" as he started to think, he couldn't help but cry from it, falling asleep after the crying had tired him out.
At practice🐶
"alright from the top guys, five six seven eight" they went over their choreography once again "yunho your footing's wrong, you're supposed to go like this" the instructor demonstrated "sorry sir, I won't do it again" they repeated it, only for him to do another part wrong, repeating this problem until the members decided to address it
"yunho, you've been a bit out of rhythm since our break, is everything okay?" seonghwa asked concerned "I don't know hyung, maybe cause of..."
San looked at him confused "cause of what, Yunho?" he looked down "y/n sent a text asking why I wasn't at home and after I explained why, I don't know why, but his reply seemed so sad, he didn't even say I love you back, and I think I know why" the older didn't fully understand
"well, why do you think he's sad?" yunho looked down "I think it might be because of the hate we've been getting for coming out, I've deleted all social media of off my phone, but I don't know if he did it as well."
"yunho, maybe you should go home to check on him" Hongjoong said, concerned for the yunho's boyfriend, he knew him quite well and knew that despite his intimidating exterior, he was a gentle soul "but what about practice?"
wooyoung pushed him towards the door "that's not important right now, what is, is that you go home and check up on your boyfriend"
🐶
"I'm home" yunho said, expecting a hug and a kiss from his boyfriend, but all he saw was an empty living room, like he had feared "maybe he went to bed already? That's strange, normally he waits for me to get back" he went up the stairs to their shared bedroom, hoping to find the other there
To his surprise, he did, though he was already asleep, so he tried his best not to wake his lover up, sadly he did wake up because y/n was a pretty light sleeper
"Yunho?" he turned around to face his lover, he smiled "hey, I'm home, I missed you" he went closer to his lover, only then noticing the tear stains and the slightly red eyes "why did you cry? Did something happen?" he hoped to deer God that it wasn't the hate, but just a bad day at work
"i'm fine, don't worry about it" he tried grabbing yunho's arm to stop him from further inspecting his body, but that backfired as the sleeve came up and exposed the bandages, which yunho obviously saw
"oh my gosh! What did you do? Did someone hurt you?" tears started to slip from y/n's eyes and he turned over to his back "babe please, I'm worried about you" y/n turned back to yunho, the years exposing his makeup "hold on one minute, please"
He came back with a a few makeup wipes "may I?" y/n decided to no longer hide what people were doing to him and nodded. As yunho started gently wiping off the makeup, his face contorted into one of shock "how'd that happen, honey?"
"....Your fans, they've been harassing me on and off social media, on it, they always say I don't D-deserve you, that I-I'm a heartless ass hole who doesn't know how to properly care for you. But off...... Yunho.... I'm not sure if you know how much it hurts not only physically, but mentally as well. I've tried to stay strong, but I don't know how much longer I can take it"
at this point he was sobbing, something Yunho had never seen before. He sat next to his slightly taller boyfriend and rubbed the others back "I-I didn't know it go that bad..... I didn't think they would go that far. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you sooner" both began to cry in each others arms
🐶
"I promise you I will do something about this, I hate to see you go through so much pain" yunho said, sitting in y/n's lap "maybe we could do something together?" the younger nodded, before getting up from the older's lap and grabbing his phone, texting someone "who're you texting?" yunho made room for y/n to look over his shoulder
"just my manager to ask him if I can do a V-live to address what's going on" the older tensed up "are you sure that's a good idea?" the younger nodded "we don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with it" y/n thought about it
"I don't want you to do this alone, but I don't know if I can face the camera right now" Yunho tried to think of something they could do "how about...... You lay your head on my lap facing away from the camera, that way, you'll still be there with me, but don't have to see any negative comments" y/n nodded
🐶
Yunho got his phone positioned where they could see both him and y/n and waited until enough people joined in "hey guys.... This isn't going to be a happy vlive today, instead I want to address something that's been a problem lately" he could already see some hate comments on screen "ever since I came out with my boyfriend, we've been getting a lot of hate, me getting only a bit of what y/n has been going through, I normally trust you guys and love you all, but harassing y/n for being together with me is just wrong"
"but oppar he isn't right for uuuu"
"we love a protective bf, preach🏳️‍🌈"
"not our fault you're both filthy homosexuals😒"
"hope u guys still know there's fans out there who support you two, we love you💙💙💙"
"but he doesn't treat u right unlike I would"
"for the people who think y/n doesn't treat me right because of how he looks, he's the sweetest guy I could've asked for, he knows what I like and dislike, how to cheer me up. Why can't you guys see that, is all you guys see a tall scary man with tattoos, or the sweet, loving person laying beside me"
y/n started to cry again and buried his face into yunho's thighs, Yunho brought him up to comfort him, y/n still facing away from the camera "it's okay, it's gonna be fine, we're gonna sort this out alright?" the youngest went to wipe his tears, the older leaning into those touches from him
"guys, you should stop... Look how much we're hurting him and y/n"
"oppar he'll just use you"
"look at how much they care about each other, how could you hate them?🥺🥺🥺🥺"
"guys please, I can't stand seeing him this unhappy and sad, seeing him with so many bruises and cuts, and him not even being able to face the camera because of you guys. This has to stop, or we will have to take drastic measures in order to keep ourselves save" y/n looked at his boyfriend, a bit scared but also relieved that this might just be a solution to their problem
"yunho, are you sure this is what we should do?" he asked, still unsure of what to do "I know many fans probably won't like it, but this is what I have to do if I want to keep you and myself safe" he took in a deep breath before looking back towards his phone "we will be deleting our social media from our phones, and if we catch any of you harassing me or y/n, you will be blacklisted and will get a restraining order from us" he ended the live
🐶
"are you okay baby?" y/n asked yunho  "no, I just-" he began to cry "I just can't believe that they would do so many awful things just because we're together" the older pulled him closer "I guess that's the harsh reality of idol life, because of the way you're supposed to act towards fans, it gives them a false sense of hope. I wish things were different, but sadly we can't change it, not in one day that is. This stuff is going to take time for people to accept, but i'm sure that when some more time has passed, people will accept it, as there will be more like us in the future"
"how can you be so sure of it? Maybe people will start to resent it even more" he looked up at y/n "I don't know what the future holds, but I do know we can influence it, you're a role model for people, if they see from you that it's okay, I'm sure many people will follow"
they stayed in each other's arms, eventually falling asleep, but not before saying one last thing to each other "I love you yunho, with all my heart, and I hope our country will allow us to be together till the end" yunho snuggled closer to y/n "you mean like getting married and stuff? I'd love to get married to you, and I hope we can in the future too"
They shared a quick peck before cuddling up once more and going to sleep for the night
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starlit-serenade · 4 years
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Along the Red Thread | Chapter 4
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🧣 Summary: It is said that a red thread connects people who are soulmates and destined to be lovers, regardless of place and circumstances. What makes this difficult is that you stopped believing in love a long time ago. OR. You go to Korea to visit your father after several years. There, a mysterious red thread that seemingly only you can see shows up when you least expect it, and you meet a childhood friend you’d never thought you would see again.
🧣 Chapter 4: 3,500 words
🧣 Pairing: Reader x Kim Geonhak (Leedo) / Characters: GenderNeutral!Reader; Kim Geonhak (Leedo); Kim Youngjo (Ravn); Lee Seoho (Seoho); Lee Keonhee (Keonhee); Yeo Hwanwoong (Hwanwoong); Son Dongju/Xion; a couple of OCs;
🧣 Rated: T / Warnings: Mentions of divorce (Y/N’s parents); Mentions of abuse (physical); Instances of abuse (non-physical); Mentions of child abuse; Swearing / Genre: Angst; Fluff; Soulmate!AU (Red Thread of Fate); ChildhoodBestFriends!AU; Happy Ending;
《 Boy Group Masterlist // ONEUS Masterlist // Series Masterlist  》
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You wake up early in the morning to the sun in your eyes. This room isn't familiar. It isn't your bedroom at home. And it isn't the bedroom at your father's apartment.
It takes you a moment to remember that this is Kim Geonhak's dorm with his group members, and that, after getting in an argument with your father, Geonhak allowed you to sleep on their couch.
You sit up and rub your eyes. You're still wearing the white T-shirt that Geonhak lent you. It's several sizes too big for you, and is very comfortable.
You hear the door open, and suddenly someone emerges from the bedroom door next to the couch. Kim Youngjo, the brown haired man you had met last night, comes out from the bedroom. He's wearing sweatpants and a white T-shirt with a design on the front.
"Oh, good morning," he says. He smiles his warm smile as he moves across the room toward the kitchen. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I did, thank you," you say.
"Would you like breakfast?" he asks. "I don't make the best eggs out of the group--that's Geonhak--but I'm a close second."
You shake your head. "No thank you. I should probably head home, I don't want to be a bother and overstay my welcome."
"Oh, don't worry," Youngjo says. "We're all happy to have you here. Any friend of Geonhak is a friend of ours. Besides, he really likes you. You must have been really good friends when you were kids."
"He was there for me when no one else was," you say. "From when my father would scream at me and my mother for getting in his way. When my parents would fight and I couldn't stand it. When my parents finally got divorced after years of fighting. He was there for me, as a shoulder to cry on, a second home to stay at. He was my best friend. He was my home," you explain.
"That's sweet of him. I would tell you that he's a warm, sweet and kind person beneath his intimidating appearance, but it seems you already know that," Youngjo says. "And I don't know you well, but if you need any help, I am always open to talk to."
"Thank you. Like I said, though, I should get going. My father might be worried about me," you say. You've already gathered your clothes and put on your coat. "Thank you for letting me stay."
"Thank you for blessing us with your presence," he jokes. He walks over to the front door and holds the door open for you as you leave. "Stay safe on your way home."
"Thank you, Youngjo."
You exit and wave goodbye as Youngjo closes the door behind you. Then you sigh and walk down and out, bracing yourself for whatever you might encounter when you get back to your father's apartment.
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The door creaks open and you push into the living room. Besides your light, careful footsteps, there isn't a single sound. Which isn't too much of a surprise. It's the weekend, so Sunho doesn't have school and neither of his parents, your father nor Sooyeon, have work today.
You head to your bedroom, close the door behind you, and plug in your phone to charge. There, you see several texts and calls from your father that you'd ignored from last night, begging you to return.
Last night, you had not felt safe at all. You'd wanted to stay at a hotel, but none were open. Perhaps you should stay at a hotel for the rest of your stay here in Korea. Maybe you would be--or at least feel--safer at a hotel.
As you start packing your stuff, suitcase on your bed with clothes folded inside, you don't hear the footsteps in the hallway. What you do hear is the door opening behind you. You turn around again and see your father, dressed in his work clothes, standing in the doorway.
"Y/N, where have you been all night? Your Eomma and I were up until midnight waiting for you last night," he says. His eyes drift over behind you, and settle on your suitcase. "Where are you going?
"I was thinking I might get a room at a hotel and stay there until I go home," you say, turning back to the suitcase, intentionally not meeting his eyes.
"What? Why?" he asks. You don't respond, not trusting your own voice. You're a little afraid that if you try to speak, your voice will break and you'll collapse from the inside out.
"Because of our argument last night?" your father asks, and you're already feeling bad for even thinking about staying elsewhere. "Y/N, are you kidding? It was an argument, leaving last night wasn't necessary--wanting to stay at a hotel isn't necessary!" He pauses. "Look. Y/N. I know that things have been difficult between us for the past few years. But I haven't seen you properly for so long, akd now you want to leave in the middle of your visit? Y/N, be reasonable. Please, I won't yell anymore. I just wanted you to try with your Eomma . . ."
There's a long silence, and you're left to respond to him. You feel so bad for leaving last night. It was unreasonable. It is unreasonable for you to want to leave . . .
You turn around, head hanging. You still can't look him in the eyes, but now it's much more because of shame.
"I'm . . . I'm sorry. You're right," you mumble, barely recognizing your own voice. You feel so small, sounds so small.
"It's alright," you hear your father say. "I have to finish getting ready for work, but how about you finish packing and relax. I'll take you, Eomma and Sunho out to a nice dinner tonight. How does that sound?"
You nod, but you really don't know what you think. Your brain is lagging behind a bit, you almost feel like you aren't in control of your body and mind. You feel lost.
"Perfect. And, do you think you could take Sunho to school today? He was asking about you all night after you left, I think he would want you to take him," your father says. Deep down, you know that this is your father manipulating you to stay through your little, five year old half brother. But on the other hand, you do care about Sunho.
"Sure," you say.
"Great."
Your father leaves the bedroom, and once you hear the door close, you blink and look up. You're back in control, but now you're just confused.
"I guess I'm staying," you mumble to yourself.
You remove everything from the suitcase and put them back where they were before. Really, you're confused about the past few minutes. You walked into this apartment this morning, expecting to leave with your things and get a room at a hotel where you'd feel so much physically and mentally safer. Instead, you have spoken to your father and somehow agreed to stay here.
After you finish folding your clothes again, you sit on your bed and lean with your back against the headboard and grab your phone. You can see several texts from 'Geonhak 🐥'. You click to see what he wrote.
Geonhak 🐥: Hey, where are you?
Geonhak 🐥: Are you okay? Are you safe?
Geonhak 🐥: Youngjo said you went home. I hope you're okay and safe. Please let me know.
Geonhak 🐥: Call me if you can? Let me know if you're ok.
You realize that you’re smiling stupidly at your phone. You're not only happy to have someone to listen to you, but you're also just happy to have a friend back.
You think back to when you two were kids. You would read together. You would play video games together, play on the playset together, despite being too old for it. You would spend hours talking, playing, and just hanging out.
You click the call button, and he picks up the phone almost right away. You wonder if he was waiting by the phone for your call.
"Y/N? Hey, are you okay?" he asks, his voice slightly muffled by the phone, but your heart flutters a bit at the sound of his voice still. "You weren't here when I woke up. I was hoping to maybe make you breakfast or something?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," you say, purposefully ignoring the fact that he wanted to make you breakfast. It's sweet of him. Really sweet.
"Do you need any help getting a hotel? Or do you have that figured out?"
You pause. "I'm staying at my father's apartment."
"But what about yesterday? Didn't something happen? Isn't that why you needed a place to stay?"
"Yeah . . . I talked to my dad and . . . well, he apologized," you say. "He said he wouldn't be like that again."
"But . . ." Geonhak sighs. "Alright. If anything happens again . . . if you need a place to stay, the dorm is always available."
"Thanks, Geonhak."
There's a long pause. You can feel him wanting to speak on the other end of the phone. And you also want to tell him that you can't find the words for.
That while you've agreed to stay here at your father's apartment, you actually would so much rather stay at ONEUS's dorm. You hate it here, and you have no idea why you agreed to stay when you had come back planning to leave and stay at a hotel instead.
"Y/N, I'm worried about you," Geonhak says.
Now would be the perfect time to tell him exactly what you're thinking.
"You don't have to worry," you say. "I'm an adult. I can get a hotel if I need to. And I can call you if I ever need help."
Geonhak sighs. "Alright."
You nod, and are about to wish him goodbye when he speaks again.
"Hey . . . would you like to hang out today? Or tomorrow? Maybe go to the library or something?"
You smile, and almost giggle into your phone. Your cheeks are warm. "Yeah. Sure. I'm busy today, my father wants me to take Sunho to school and then I have some reading to do. But tomorrow works."
"Alright. Who's Sunho?"
"Oh. My dad's kid. My half brother. He's six."
"Oh, cute!" Geonhak exclaims. "Would you like me to come with you to take him to school? I'm good with kids, I swear."
"Aren't you busy?"
"No. My schedule today is flexible."
You smile. "Alright. I can text you my father's address and we'll take Sunho to school. See you soon."
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Sunho is clinging on tightly to your hand as you leave the apartment building together. When he saw you after he finished brushing his teeth, he almost burst into tears. You apologized to him for not reading to him last night, until he calmed down and finished getting ready for school.
As you exit the building, you see Geonhak standing further down the sidewalk. His clothes are plain--jeans, a black T-shirt and white overshirt and glasses--so he doesn't stand out too much, but you recognize him right away.
He sees you at the same time and smiles, walking over to you and Sunho. You blink, surprised by how handsome he looks now that it's the daytime. Not that he wasn't handsome last night when you stayed over.
Geonhak bends down in front of Sunho, so that their faces are at around the same height.
"Hi," Geonhak says in such a sweet and gentle voice that catches you by surprise. He holds up his hand for Sunho to hi-five. Sunho does, indeed, hi-five him, and you watch Geonhak's smile widen. "I'm Kim Geonhak," he says softly. "You must be Sunho."
Sunho looks up at you, and you nod. He nods back at Geonhak.
"I'm friends with your sibling Y/N," Geonhak says. "How old are you, Sunho?"
Sunho raises his hands.
"Six? Woah! You're so tall for a six year old. Are you the tallest in your class?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods. "Cool. I'm going to be coming with Y/N to take you to school. Is that alright with you?"
Sunho nods.
"Great." Geonhak looks up at you with the most adorable smile you've ever seen on his face as he stands up straight.
"I see that you wanted to say hello to Sunho before saying hello to me," you joke. You gently tug at Sunho's hand and he follows you and Geonhak down the sidewalk, toward the bus stop you use to get to Sunho's school.
"I wanted to be friendly with him first," Geonhak explains. "Didn't want him to think I was just some stranger."
You nod.
"Are you alright? Last night was a lot, I think, for you," Geonhak says.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Can we talk about it after?" you ask. You glance at Sunho, trying to signal to Geonhak, not in front of Sunho. He seems to get the message, and nods.
"Right. Sorry." He looks at Sunho and smiles. "Sunho, is it okay if I hold your hand while we walk?"
Sunho nods his head while smiles widely and holds his hand out to Geonhak, who takes it and smiles at you.
"So, Sunho," Geonhak says. His voice is soft and gentle, shocking now that you're used to his deep voice. "What do you like to do for fun?"
Sunho thinks for a second. "I like reading. Y/N reads an English book to me at night!"
"Oh? Do they?" Geonhak smiles over at you, and you swear your heart starts to beat a bit faster. His smile is really . . . lovely. "What books?"
"Y/N reads me 'The Kiss . . .'" Sunho frowns, scrunching up his face while trying to remember. "'The Kissing Hand'! It's in English."
"Oh? I've never read it. Is it good? Do you like it?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods. Watching the way Geonhak smiles at Sunho is adorable. He's so good with kids, and you can tell he's having a lot of fun.
"Yeah! It's my favorite English book!"
"Oh, I should read it sometime then."
You laugh a bit and Geonhak looks at you curiously. "Geonhak, it's a kids book."
"I'd love to read a kids book," Geonhak says. "Sunho, would you want me to read you a book sometime?"
Sunho nods.
You, Sunho and Geonhak board the semi-crowded bus. You stand, one hand holding Sunho's while the other grips the pole for stability as the bus starts to move. Geonhak stands behind you, his hand holding the pole above yours.
"Did you know Y/N disappeared last night?" Sunho asks. "I got really scared. It was night time and I was scared they were gonna get lost. But they came back this morning."
"Right," Geonhak says, looking at you. "You don't have to worry. Y/N was with me! I made sure that they were safe, and protected them."
Sunho's face lights up brightly. "Really? Thank you for protecting Y/N, Mr. Kim! I was scared Y/N wasn't going to be able to take me to school today."
"Do you like school, Sunho?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods quickly with the biggest smile on his face. "Do you have friends at school?"
"Yeah!" Sunho says, grinning. "I have my best friend Areum. Areum likes reading too! And also my other friends."
You smile down at Sunho, then over at Geonhak. Geonhak's smiling down at Sunho with the most precious smile you've ever seen. He's got little tiny dimples, you notice. And his eyes are like little crescents because he's smiling so hard.
You shake your head and look back at Sunho.
The bus comes to a halt at the bus stop outside of Sunho's school. You and Geonhak dismount with him, and walk over to the sidewalk. You kneel in front of him and fix his shirt.
"You're gonna have a good day, right?" you ask. He nods, and you hold up your hand for a high five. "Good. Have a good day at school, okay Sunho?" you say.
"Okay!" He nods and high fives you.
"Give Geonhak one too," you say. He walks over to Geonhak, who raises both of his hands and gives him two high fives. Sunho lets out a giggle, and you can tell from the way he's grinning that he likes Geonhak.
You and Geonhak wave Sunho off as he walks the rest of the way to school, joining his friends. You both watch as he walks with them toward the school building, laughing and talking.
"He really likes you," you say, eyes still on Sunho. You can see Geonhak look at you out of the corner of your eye. "I can tell. You made him really happy."
"That's nice to hear." There's a pause. "Do you want to go to get drinks with me?" he asks "Coffee or tea or smoothies?"
You nod. "Smoothies sound nice."
"I know a place we can walk to from here," he says. He reaches for your hand, but stops himself and smiles.
"This way," he says, nodding his head down the road. You follow him as he starts walking, considering what flavor of smoothie you want to get.
"Is Sunho your half brother, then?" he asks, after a minute of silence. You nod.
"Yeah. We have the same father. But his mother is Sooyeon," you explain. "I actually never met Sunho before I visited. He's a sweet kid. I hope that my father treats them better than he treated me and my mom."
Geonhak nods. "About this morning . . . are you okay?"
You nod. "Yeah."
"I thought you were planning to stay at a hotel tonight? But you said you aren't? What happened with that?" he asks. "I don't want to be invasive, so if you don't want to tell me, that's alright."
"No, it's okay. When I went to my father's apartment to pack my stuff, my father confronted me. He apologized, I think. And asked me to give him another chance. He promised not to do anything threatening or aggressive anymore."
Geonhak nods. "He said that a lot when we were kids, too. 'I won't do it again.' 'I'll do better next time.' Forgiving is alright, but if you keep doing it every time, he'll only do it more."
"I know," you murmur. "But I guess I want to believe that now that he has this new family, he's changed."
Geonhak sighs. "That makes sense. Just remember, you can always call me for help, Y/N."
You smile. "Thank you, Geonhak. I . . . really appreciate you letting me stay over last night. Your members were very nice to meet."
"You think so?" Geonhak asks, laughing a bit. "They liked you. I think Seoho would have spent time intentionally telling you every embarrassing thing I've ever done if he could."
"Oh?" You raise an eyebrow at him, grinning evilly. "Well, then I guess Seoho and I have some catching up to do."
He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Whatever. It's not like you haven't seen my embarrassing self when I was in school with you."
You grin. "You were pretty embarrassing back then."
"So were you! There's the smoothie stand."
You both line up for the smoothies, and he helps you decide on which flavor to get and helps you order. You grin at him as he hands you your smoothie.
"You know," you start, "besides last night, you and I haven't really hung out yet. Which is a shame, since we haven't hung out in years."
"True. I'd love to walk Sunho to school with you more, if you'd allow me," he chuckles, sipping from his own drink.
"You're really good with kids," you note. "Or, at least, with Sunho."
"Right. I'm studying early childhood education, so it's only natural that I've learned a bit about how to work with kids."
"That's cute," you blurt out. Geonhak gives you a shy, smiley look, similar to the adoring look he gave Sunho.
"Cute?"
You roll your eyes and nudge him. "Yeah, sure. Cute. Don't let it get to your head, though. Sunho is still cuter than you."
Geonhak gasps, feigning shock, and places his hand in surprise in mock offense. "Really? I'm offended." He chuckles a bit.
You can feel your face heating up from the way he looks at you. You clear your throat and look away. "Uh, yeah. I'd love it if you could join me and Sunho in the mornings, whenever you can. But that's not what I meant."
"Oh?" He tilts his head curiously.
"What I meant was actually hanging out. As friends. Maybe we could go to the library or park or something," you say. "Maybe see a movie."
He grins. "Sure. Have you been sightseeing yet?"
You shake your head. Your father hasn't really taken you anywhere since you arrived. If anything, you've spent most of your time here as Sunho's babysitter and a shopper for Sooyeon.
"No? Maybe I could . . . take you sightseeing?" he offers. You nod.
"I'd like that."
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thegingertrekkie · 5 years
Text
Lost in a Dream World
Part 8: past the kingdom walls
You quickly found that this Shoji was exactly like your world's Shoji, kind but extremely quiet. You gave up on small talk about 10 minutes into your long walk and there was an uncomfortable silence ever since. The Edgelands was composed entirely of jagged lava rocks, the ground was always rumbling, and it was terribly hot. Shoji was right, it was hell. Every once and awhile there was a huge gust of wind from nowhere and Shoji would order you to hid under him. He'd wrap his arms around you like a protective shield and get close to the ground. The ground was so hot it burned your exposed skin, but Shoji held you down until the wind subsided.
"This is land of dragons" he explained after the third time "We're trespassing and they know we're here"
'Dragons?' You felt scared and giddy at the same time. This world was unbelievable, no one at home would take you seriously when you told then there were dragons here. You frowned thinking about home. Shoji decided it was time to take a rest and you passively agreed, grabbing one of the heavier packs Todoroki had given Shoji and opening it. You blinked as you looked down at the pile of gold inside the bag, lifting a piece to inspect more closely. "This is what we've been carrying? What the hell?"
One of Shoji's hands slapped over his mouth and he shushed you harshly. "Too loud (Y/n)! Put that away it's dangerous!"
The wind started up again stronger than before and you yelped as Shoji threw you into his back and started running. You turned and saw a huge silver dragon flying after you. A scream escaped your lips and a hand was slapped over your mouth again. "This isn't the time!" Shoji hissed, lunging to the side as blue flames scorched the land you had just been standing on. 'I'm gonna die' you thought, looking back at the dragon with wide terrified eyes. "Throw something at it!" Shoji commanded and you threw the gold bar that was still in your hand.
Surprisingly the dragon hesitated at the sight of the shiny metal. You let out a cautious breath and Shoji slowed his pace to a jog. You continued in silence and Shoji set you down after a while. The two of you walked side by side when the path was wide enough. The heat was making you dizzy and your body was drenched in sweat. Was it getting hotter? You glanced up and see a shadow scaling the rock face above you, too small to be a dragon. It looks like a person. You nudge Shoji "I think there's a person."
Shoji tenses and uses his extra arms to scan the jagged rock face. Your daggers are pushed in your hands and you both slow your pace. "Don't be fooled" he hisses at you "Some dragons can shape shift."
You swallow loudly and push forward with caution, trying your best not to hyperventilate. It was so hot, you felt like you were melting. The sun was going down in the sky, but the air didn't get any cooler. Shoji notices you struggling and slows down so you can rest.
"We're almost at the edge" Shoji stated taking your bag from you and handing you a canteen. You stare at your feet, chewing your bottom lip uncomfortably. You missed Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. You wished they were here to talk to you. It wouldn't be so awkward if Shoji would just talk to you.
"Can you tell me about this world?" You said after a long drink of warm water.
Shoji paused for so long you thought he was going to ignore your question. "I guess I'll start from the beginning..."
Shoji explained how in the beginnging both kingdoms were united as one. Then suddenly the dragons appeared and brought magic with them. The magic attracted dangerous creatures like the goblins and society started to crumble. Some humans were able to harness the power of the magic, other were transformed into different creatures when they came into contact with a vein of magic (like Shoji had, you wondered what he looked like before). There was a great war between magic users and non magic users and the Edgelands was the battle field. The war stretched on for years until the dragons stepped in, making the Edgelands their home and not allowing the warring sides to cross over.
"There's been peace after that" Shoji finished he leaned against a large boulder and sighed. " the merchant's path is the only place magic and non magic users can mix, but they don't let you cross. There's a barrier. Here's the only weak spot."
He used three hands to gesture ahead. There was a huge ravine with floating boulders in between. You got as close to the edge as you dared and looked over the side, you couldn't see the bottom. Your stomach churned. You glanced back at Shoji and saw he was starting to head back the way you came. "Whoa, wait a minute!" You rushed after him and grabbed his shirt. "I thought you were supposed to take me to the other kingdom!"
"This is as far as I go" he responded, patting your head and making you blush. "The Kingdom of magic is on the other side of the ravine."
You felt sick to your stomach. Shoji pull away from you and disappeared into the edgelands. You looked over the edge of the ravine again and then at the rocks floating above. There were several layers of boulders, if you fell off one you might get lucky and land on another. You weren't sure what to do. You opened your pack to grab some food and groaned, face palming as you looked at the mound of gold. You couldn't eat gold and without Shoji you couldn't find your way back to the Todoroki kingdom.
"Heeeeeyyyy!" A voice called from the other side of the ravine.
You looked up surprised searching for the source of the voice.
"Over here! What are you doing over there?" A pink skinned girl yelled, waving her arms over her head.
"I'm stuck!" You call back "Can you help me?"
The girl laughs and makes her way over to you, jumping effortlessly from boulder to boulder. It takes her only a few minutes to reach you. "Come on!" Mina smiles "I have someone waiting for me so we have to hurry! Plus it's not safe outside the barrier."
She holds your hand as she leads you over the dangerous ravine. The floating boulders are much more stable than you thought they would be and closer together. Mina chartered the whole way across, a nice change of pace from the awkward silences you experienced before. You try to explain your situation to her, but she just laughs. Your phone had been dead for hours, so you didn't have any proof this time. It didn't seem to matter much to Mina, she seemed glad to help out anyway. Even when you made it to the other side of the ravine Mine held your hand tightly. She lead you towards the towering walls of the kingdom chatting away.
Once inside the walls you audibly gasped. The city was full of people and overlooked the ocean, completely different from the forest you had been in days before. Mina pulled you through the crowd, weaving through people at a fast pace. She lead you through the market square where booths were selling all sorts of strange objects, animals, and... People. You made eye contact with a young boy and guilt bubbled up in your throat. The pink skinned girl didn't stop, she pulled you into a back street and knocked on a wall. You jumped when a hand reach through and pulled you through.
"Mina you can't keep doing this! You're going to get caught!"
"Kaminari?" You ask reaching you hands out in the dark.
A candle was lit and revealed blonde boy with a black lighting bolt marked in his hair. His eyes were wide with surprise and Mina giggled. "They says they're from a different world with copies of us in it!" She squealed, running around the room to light more candles "I wasn't going to bring anymore non magic users but this one is different!"
"No kidding..." Kaminari mumbled, looking you up and down "they're wearing other kingdom clothes, they're gonna get caught!"
"It's fiiiine! I'll take them shopping!" Mina was so happy running around the small room.
You reached over to touch Kaminari's arm and yelped when you got shocked. Kaminari blushed and put his hands up "Sorry! I got hit with lightning near a magic vein and now I shock everything I touch."
Your eyes were wide with surprise and you had an idea. Digging around the bag Midoriya had bought you, you fished out your phone and a charging cable. You plug one end into your crack phone and thrust the other end towards the confused boy. "Put this in your mouth."
Kaminari's mouth drops open and Mina starts laughing again. "What?? No! Why?" He takes a step away from you.
"I need to charge my phone! Please, Kaminari! You do this all the time where I'm from!" You have him backed against a wall and he puts his hands over his mouth, shaking his head no.
"What is that?" Mina points at your phone "it looks busted"
"It's a... It's a tiny magic mirror, but it'll only work if it's charged. Kaminari, please!"
"You're gonna suck the magic out of me with that?" Kaminari clasps his chest dramatically and looks at you with a horrified expression.
"What? No! Ugh, just come on!"
"I wanna see it work!" Mina exclaimed grabbing the end of the charging cord and forcing it into Kaminari's mouth.
He gags at the metallic taste and glares at Mina right before the charging notifications goes off with a little "ping". The two gasp and look at your phone mesmerized at the little noise it made. As soon as it had enough power you switched it on. Smiling at the two amazed expressions before you. You pulled up the pictures you had with Mina and Kaminari. "Tiny magic mirror" Mina breathed one hand over her mouth, other outstretched towards your phone.
You snorted and laughed, handing the phone to them so they could scroll through your pictures.
You find a chair to sit in and your legs basically give out, you didn't realize how tired you were. Leaning you head against the wall you close your eyes and drift off to sleep, comforted my the familiar sounds of you friends laughing and joking with one another.
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If i had to pick an American Cookie that can be bought in the store today, hands down it would be this one.
Living in New Mexico for 20 years, i rarely see a black person. I can go 785 days without seeing an African American. Because i have.
So, it's shocking to go to Arkansas or even Oklahoma and see large groups of Black People and i stare. I don't forget they exist due to the internet.. But I never see them so it's like visiting Mount Rushmore or the Grand Canyon. Its this natural amazing marvel. And I just stare usually with my jaw dropped like some social retard. Which I'm not typically. And Hey -- I'm not the only New Mexican that does that shit. We simply have a serious minority of African Americans here. I understand places like Mississippi don't think they're a minority. But if i can leave my house every day and not see a African American, then you're a minority. Just as in higher areas of African American Domination, i like to call it, there isn't many Latina or Hispanic or Mexicans as there are here. In Mississippi, they're a minority and here they're all "bitch we rule this shit! We own New Mexico!"
So due to actual minority being true of African Americans (in the 90s i picked it because it was always claimed officially so I just accepted as NYC is a huge vast mix of all kinds of culture. I figured they actually went out and counted them. But i wanted to explain to those whom don't travel and don't experience life in other places in the United States.
So in the 90s the Harringtons and I and as he preferred to be called, Captain Negro, his super hero name. Captain Negro del ela Ponte if you wanted to get legal about it. Decided to pick an "American Cookie" we could easily purchase for Sunday nights. And of course it had to be absolutely perfect.
"Taste Great but Look the Part as Touched by a negros heart and soul" said Captain Negroponte as I called him or Captain Negro Party or Captain Negro Parte especially when i didn't know how to explain something.
I tell you. I've always been smart. Miss Leena always hides and plays dumb and just tells history. But to compare and contrast and make analogies i truly learned from this man whom was my English Compilation Teacher, a True Super Hero.
For the cookie experiment. I talked to Miss Leena but she wouldn't explain. She just gave me the type of cookie and told me I would know what to do.
William Harrington said, "I dont know to me a cookie is just a cookie and my wife makes them great!"
And Willingima. we called her, Harrington, at the (jokingly) threat of our own lives said she did not know either she just had to bake she had said as when quietly embroidered under the table a gift for the Captain Hero's family.
So he came over and we told him and his eyes lit up and he was bouncing around with excitement at the table. "So the cookies are.... But I sure don't know how to explain anything but the chocolate"
"Okay explain me"
I did
"And these are just regular old fashioned chocolate chip, not chocolate on chocolate dough or white chocolate chip?"
"I could ask miss leena but im sure it's the old fashioned."
"Lets call her"
She said that the Chocolate dough (black/dark brown dough) with white chocolate chips would be An African cookie -- for their culture here in America and in actually Africa.
So we were all at the phone all listening in, the phone turned all the way up. Now this is the 90s wall phone no speaker phone ability.
So Captain Negroponte told me back at the table, "so you know the old fashioned. Idk why she wouldn't explain the chocolate on chocolate because of the two different browns. But you know I'll stay out of it. I think i do know the sugar but let me just check. What did she say on the phone to you when she called?"
"Well she called just out of the blue. Asked for Sabrina and i thought she was asleep and so i said she was as she hadn't came down (stairs -- our bedrooms were up and i was just living there For the summer or however long until i had to go back to work into the city i moved out October 9, 1991 due to riots in Brooklyn because i had to go help as i spoke about this last week. Officially moved in July 4th of the same year) and she said and i quote "well just tell sabrina this, that i called and she needs to do a cookie experiment. A white old fashioned cookie of chocolate chip flavor and a sugar cookie. She should know what to do with all of your help" she sounded old and she said her husband wasn't home and she was just resting. So i said "well ill let you go" and she said no and wanted to know all about our enterprise feeding the Street neighborhood kids and asked about money and she said "well Sabrina can help" do you -- do you have money? I sure am tired of eating hot dogs myself. This is getting expensive! I mean for us"
I replied "i do have some... Ill talk to Steve to see what we should do and how much and the best way to go about this"
"No now you seem nervous and she said you have a lot"
"Billions" she said the same time I said "millions"
"And you said some.. You said what? What you got now hon?"
"You said I'm a billionaire and i wouldn't ever lie to anyone but Steve explained to me, hes my lawyer, he said that i needed not to explain how rich i am but if someone needed money I'm to say i only have one million dollars and that is it. And i said "but that is a lie!" And he said "but no it is not not when I'm not allowing you to give out more than thousands without my approval" and i was mad!!! But in the end i saw what Steve said i should see. Its dangerous to advertise how rich i am"
"Bull shit! We probably have the richest girl in the world here sitting at our table and im telling her to penny pinch! Babe! We're having steaks next week! Put that on the list!"
"I'll pay you guys all back!"
"No!" "No!" "No!"
"No. Yes i mean i know you all did it from the goodness of your hearts but you shouldn't suffer. And i didn't realize that you were. I mean i thought you just wanted to eat hot dogs. I didn't know there was any difference"
"Blah!"
"So what I'll do. Because Steve said I'm allowed up to thousands and you're still in hundreds last i checked. $991 for the last three weeks for the entire house budget. So I'll at least double that and give Captain Nero the same. For the time y'all have spent working and then what i meant i would have to talk to Steve is that I would have to design a plan for the future. What he's talked about is supplying a credit card with a limit capable of exceeding the design purchases. So like if you need $900,000 a month then the credit card would allow $1 million. That's what hes explained to me. Then he would supply 12 blank checks for the year then all you would do is call the number on the back of the card once monthly to find out the balance and get the address, write the check and then mail it to the credit card company. Easy as that. He would get the bills to look over to see you're not scamming me. Then he can stop payment on the rest of the checks if you are and cancel the card. That goes for everyone. So for this i think that is what he would pick. It sounds simple. Of course, I don't pay bills or anything like that. Steve always handles it for me. But I'll still have to talk to Steve to get that program under way. And I'll make sure he pays you and you and of course you for past supplies and your time"
So they agreed to the extra payment but wanted to do work free. Mrs Harrington got $15 per day for taking care of me. And still does although she doesn't take care of me anymore, her influence still lives within me and is what made me who I truly am today.
If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't ever asked criminals how they wanted their ending to be. I would have ripped them off the streets and tortured them one by one ripping off pieces of their body while injected with a chemical that made them highly alert and aware of what was happening. For 6 years and 600 days. Them never knowing when it would be the day to lose something they deemed important.
Instead of dungeons and torture chambers, they have a chance at luxury and happiness.
Those asking for death instead have a right to live in peace and make their amends and do as they need. The miserable are killed first to stop their pain and suffering. 72 wanted vacation before. They got that.
If it wasn't for the Harringtons and Captain Negro, never would that occurred.
They saved a wretch like me and in turn, I saved those worst than me. As Jesus would. She taught me all about the belief of Jesus and who they believed he was
Over Captain Harrington's right shoulder was a cross with me looking down or asleep. They eyes were closed. I felt it was the most accurate representation of me. It even had lumps on it's chest. And I always felt so much responsibility. She believed the Unorthodox Jewish ways with a Catholic overcoat. She was non-religious before marriage so she had a mix of views and dabble in all spirits of religion. Also, the occult.
So when her cheeks were pink and her bright blue eyes lit up, and she told me about Jesus. I always prayed to the Lord in Hevaen that I would live up to her expectations.
And often I would look at that cross and feel the thorns cutting into my forehead. "I hope we can do it. Change the world as expected" I would say.
There were times i would take it off the wall "i feel Jesus should watch some T.V., too" i didn't want to say who i was. Mrs Harrington thought i felt that crown of thorns because Jesus was telling me that i knew things and i should act. Of course I didn't really know who I was, either, at first. Mommy thought it was too much but Daddy told me and said I should keep it secret. But I could tell who or what I want. So I decided to honor mommy and not say. But incorporate Jesus since he was such a big part of Catholicism and decor in the house, daddy said that would make Jesus alive in the house and keep my secret. But allow my full powers to bloom.
And it worked.
So Captain Negroponte said that day that he kept getting questions from one particular kid as tall as me about White Supremacy and how his family taught him that all white people were bad and "only play with nigger kids" so he was certain he knew how to explain the white sugar cookie as long as i could do "the chocolate chip without fail then it would all be good and life would be perfect for this particular child"
"I can. I know just what to do. It will be perfect"
"Okay don't tell me. I dont want to hear until that day"
So he left with a bounce and his eyes glittery. His soul full of tears for this young man, looking back where he left all his hope and faith, walked down the short dark hall and into the sunlight of a cool brisk Saturday afternoon.
"Hey now i might need some help. I know i need to show the white dough and then how it tans when baked. I got that talking to her on the phone"
"Well she didn't say --"
"She said Bake. And i was transformed back into her kitchen and had a white plastic bowl which i put into the oven -- it was empty and out it came a clay not crystal like ours but ceramic Brown bowl with the white inside. So i know what to say about White people tanning to make 2 races so we all have to support the black"
"You you get!! So not all white people are the same!!! Good good!!"
"Shew! Thank you! So I was at the kitchen in the sink.. I mean -- i said that backwards -- so anyway I'm in the kitchen and i see the silver sink and the bowl appears before my eyes and suddenly im holding it in my hands and i went to hand the phone to you as i tried to hand the bowl to her in my standing hands and she didn't sound old like she did in the phone, she sounded very young and sing song. And she said "no the children" so what we have to do is give the bowl to each of the children and let them mix it themselves. That will help white supremacy in however that means. So then the black kids all add the chocolate chips. And then when we bake. That will represent the Muslims that i used to help when in was younger and who framed me to be as i am today. But the kids don't all know that so it will represent all the darker but lighter skin than black you know like Puerto Riccans and Vietnamese and Chinese and all those sorts of people and how the African Americans have inserted their "language" into us to make the world such an amazing place. Without them we wouldn't be the cookie we are today here in 1991. Isn't that right, Jesus?"
"Oh don't look at him so harsh. What do you need me to do?"
"Bake the cookies. At the start we will mix then he will tell a story then we will do the baking. We can do two days in a row or we can help you here in the kitchen. Megan and i can take turns like we always do and so if we wanted to spread the word for two weeks since its getting so cold, we can start in the afternoon instead of dusk. And do the two different cookies the same time -- No i mean in the ssme day"
"Okay that could work. We will just let Captain Nero know and I'm sure he could come up with two great stories to pass the time. And you will pay?"
"Oh yes. Yes of course. And when I talk to Steve I'll ensure Miss Harriet Tubman is getting her cut although she always paid on her own and said she was on solid woman and could make it doing all she pleased, her husband is still working. But he's a police sergeant so I know its not for money. But she could buy her something nice with his pension."
"Pension?"
"Oh he has two. He works a lot. One thinks she's like 80 and the other 102 or 103 i think it is. So one will be cut surely i assume. She said she doesn't think she can make it to 120 without them getting onto her"
"And his paycheck?"
"Oh he donates it to science. They own their own trailer and car and BBQ"
"BBQ?"
"BBQ Grill. Of course though if i gave her money she would probably just clothes the whole entire neighborhood. I'll ask Steve if thats what she wants or that i could do. She said that was the only thing she had left in life to apply for. I guess she always knew i had money thats why she gave me the evil eye. She always provides them gloves in the winter -- except she buys them in the summer when they're cheaper and puts them in a box to save them till it gets cold again. I tell you. She is smart. So about these sugar cookies. I sure hope it works. It seems the opposite of what we set out to do. All white with beautiful crystals on top. She said to make them look so worthwhile and be as perfect as possible..."
So while the White Supremacist cookie is after all just a cookie that we used to explain to a child that was deeply courageous to learn more and actually educated his parents and they hugged me with forgiveness, myself being white.
I have explained the example. And to further educate, the Sugar Cookie in all other reality when not used for a demonstrations, is just a cookie we bake when we have no other additives.
But as Captain Negro (you may call him Captain Nero as Mrs Harrington would as she refused to "see" any color other than the colors of the rainbow") explained we should always try to find something good to add to something that is empty of extras. Be it fruit from like the Garden of Eden or be it nuts or seeds like Big Bird from Sesame Street, prefers, we should always fill our life and our cookies with as much goodness as possible. But some days, he said, some days its okay to have just a plain ole bit of sugar. As long as it's full of love and not hate.
So please do enjoy your plain white sugar cookies that are made with love. Black Panthers nor "all" white people do not encourage prejudice -- even if it's just against a cookie.
God bless us.
So we picked for our "American Cookie" the cookie below: because of the way it looks and the way it tastes. I encourage you to buy some today. As you can see the chocolate chips are hidden just as African American Heritage is hidden. And when we take a bite a beautiful explosion of chocolate erupts and elivenes our spirits.
And to top the cookie off, all of this occurs inside. Hidden away. Just like our souls are.
Thank you for listening. If these people could touch you just one percent how much they changed my life and gave me love and education and pride and so much faith in other people. Then you will be so better off
I hope you allow them to touch your souls.
Now here is the cookie you all have been waiting for:
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We would laugh. And call it the "Soft Bitch" we may be going hard and fighting loud but we always have time for a tear, a hand to hold, a face to hug.
Because this is The United States of America. And she ain't all that bad. Not her citizens. Her government. Yes. But her citizens are blessed by her rich history of which she had no control over.
The American Cookie. A brown cookie, like a white person tans with perfect pieces of Black African American heart and soul baked in. Cookies of the United States of America. I always called them "American Cookies" We even had kids sit and mix up chocolate chip dough from scratch, each child getting to mix and have an ingredient added while they mixed. They all got to see the raw dough was White. Then They were baked with love by Momma Harrington and they came out tan. Like white people do in the sun. So they could see for certain how the African American were and are in the souls and minds of white people. And how without the African American pieces of love they were not complete. To prove this we made cookies without the chips and they were bland. "But What about White Supremacy? Because that was just America without us. But What about how they think?" I was asked. "I guess we could try Sugar Cookies then and see what happens. So we made beautiful sugar cookies with sugar crystals on top. Thank God our Black Panther Leader knew the words because i was at a loss.
"We all mixed and made those cookies. We saw what was in them! Sugar! We made them appeasing to the eye and different looking and more special looking than an old Chocolate Chip with those crystals. But those crystals?!? They ain't nothing. We got them in chocolate chip and that is all they put in the White Mass cookies. Then we sprinkled a little on top to make them look clean and beautiful like a real treasure. But the Treasure is Truth!!! They're missing the real thing! Sure they look beautiful especially in the sun, the crystals reflecting the lights all over but those crystals are Blinding us to the Truth!!! They are all a fraud!! But go ahead, eat them. I would too. White supremacist and all. Now let's growl!!"
Reminder Established in 1991:
Miss Leena has a different fund called ""Harriet Tubman's Self Worth Working Still Today" and she has 778 users of my funds whom also feed the people of their neighborhood and streets. They do collard greens, steak and potatoes soup daily. Saturday and Sunday add hot dogs and Sunday Morning they do their African American Heritage Stories. Of course 68% are certified Black Panthers as well but no one has to pledge to an organization to feed children with love m they just follow their hearts.
The account labeled "Black Panther Food Allocation - For the Street Kids" 962 people across the globe do this on their personal streets nightly. Feed kids collard greens, hot dogs and/or hamburgers (with cheese and iceberg lettuce, tomato, onions, relish and so on). And on Sundays tell the stories of Black American Leaders that intended to destroy prejudice and mistreatment and succeeded and the listeners all get cookies.
Of course I bought the secret Cookie to represent our Nation. The United States of America.
The United States was founded officially on July 4, 1776.
Due to this i requested our policy be to employ no more than 77% of African American and no less than 76% the remaining percent be of at least 4 different shades of white.
We start at $18 per hour as that is the adult age in the USA to represent freedom. We employ 2020 in each factory setting arena.
Then we changed the recipe, to take out the lumps. To promise a better and smoother future for all.
The Original cookie to represent the past is gone is pictured on the box as well as an elf. It is not misrepresentation of what is inside, unless you expected to find an elf as well. In no way is there any identifying words that says that is the what the cookie looks like inside. But it is the Original cookie artwork packaging as i bought it in 1991.
We have been sued over the artwork not representing the contents. Once i sued myself and won. I got good game. Y'all. Persuaded everyone to see it my way! It was a mock trial. And so it was to prepare for a real trial which did occur and we did win. We simply told the truth of our packaging and said we were not ready to reveal it. It was 2007 and we hadn't done a full reveal since 1991 and so why not leave us alone as we couldn't promise the change?!?!
We did word of mouth and some soft T.V. programming to indicate it. But never The full storey as I have today in pulic.
So again here is the Original cookie it did actually look like but did crumble more -- we kept that chocolate chip explosion. But bake them twice to have an outer coating of smoothness.
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ouraidengray4 · 7 years
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Marriage Counseling Made My Relationship Worse (but We're Working on It)
When I married my husband, I expected challenges, and as a psych major, I even anticipated some of them. But six months into our marriage, my husband and I were considering divorce, and it just didn't seem normal. We decided to take what seemed like the only reasonable next step: marriage counseling. Little did we know that rather than saving our marriage, counseling would nearly end it. Of course, our experience is unique to us, and not reflective of counseling as a whole. But let’s start the story at the beginning—all the way back to eighth grade.
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That’s when I first fell in love with the boy who would eventually become my husband. He had the cutest face (and dimples!), but what drew me to him most was a melancholy expression he always wore. In hindsight, this sadness was indicative of the struggles we would have to overcome, but at the time, I just felt it meant that he needed me, and oh, how I wanted to be needed.
My first love only lasted a month. We both moved on with our young lives, but reconnected when we were in college; I was determined to avoid any interaction with him, but he persistently asked if I would video chat with him. One day, I was bored at my dad’s house, and he convinced me to Skype with him. Somehow during that conversation, he charmed my phone number out of me. He wasn’t a sad, silent little middle schooler anymore, either. He was more direct, less reserved, and at least ten times as fine. At first, I was shocked by just how clearly he expressed he wanted to be with me.
I wasn’t prepared for this change to be significant enough to make me fall in love with him, but it was. Within a few months, we were inseparable. We would video chat for 14 hours straight, go to sleep together on video chat, wake up, and continue the conversation the next day.
By the time I graduated, he was serving in the armed forces, and we knew that what we had was more than just puppy love. Less than a month later, I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, we got engaged, and quickly decided to elope. It was romantic and exciting, but most of all, it was terrifying.
We went to marriage counselor No. 1
Several fights and threats of annulment later, we made the decision to attend counseling at our local church. But when we told the marriage counselor about our situation, she concluded that the issue straining our marriage was us sharing living space with relatives and not having a place of our own. Her recommendation: We should stay at the local homeless shelter in order to have our own space. This advice did not exactly sound helpful to us.
So we tried out counselor No. 2
So we found a new counselor, which was great until he informed us that we were beyond his skill level. Being told by a marriage counselor—a chaplain, at that—that your marriage appears to be unsalvageable felt like a slap in the face. I began to lose all hope that things would ever get better, even as we made the decision to see the next counselor.
Then we tried No. 3
The third counselor on our list was pretty nice, and he tried his best to give us equal time to express our concerns. But unfortunately, the style of every counselor isn’t a fit for every couple. Following his advice communication style ended up causing extra conflict for us. At the time, our biggest issue was which room would be the baby’s nursery; I was five months pregnant and furious that I wasn’t getting my desired room for our kid. We fought a lot, so much that I packed my car with all of my belongings and was fully prepared to make the 12-hour drive home back to my hometown.
My husband and I are both stubborn people, and it’s hard for either of us to admit defeat. One of the goals we set in counseling was to work on communicating our frustrations to each other in a non-antagonizing way. However, I found that for us, addressing issues in counseling could reopen wounds that we’d already healed.
Since sessions were often one or even two weeks apart, bringing up topics we’d already resolved was really frustrating. We’d arrive at counseling feeling like we’d made progress toward communicating differences and leave angry and resentful. Our counselor did not believe in letting us agree to disagree, so after our sessions, we’d both be upset for a few days.
And finally, the disastrous No. 4
In the beginning, the sessions with this counselor felt great to me. Finally, I thought, I’d found someone who understood my struggles. But it soon became clear that she sided an uncomfortable amount of the time with me. While that felt great at first, I didn't yet understand that my temporary joy was coming at the expense of my husband’s victimization. After our first counseling session with her, my husband was so affected that he went to bed without dinner. Session after session, I watched as she actively antagonized him, telling him he would soon lose his wife, and that he reminded her of her ex-husband. Clearly, she was overidentifying with me and losing her professionalism.
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Sadly, it took four sessions with her and a large conflict between this counselor and my husband before I admitted that it was time for us to stop seeing her. In our last meeting, I met her alone to end the relationship and finally stood up for my husband.
And at that moment, after five counselors, I decided that maybe counseling just wasn't for us.
So we went on our own way.
Instead of talking to more professionals, we decided to talk to each other. I began to notice the love in his intentional actions… like the very fact that despite having a negative history with therapists of any kind, my husband went to four different counselors with me. I tried to pick up more on little things, like when he brings me my favorite chocolate bar without my asking, and big things, like still being willing to give me a hug 10 minutes after a huge fight. He tries his best to love me the way I want to be loved, even when it's not easy for him—and that means the world to me.
That first year left an imprint, but I’m aiming to change it through positive intentions. I learned to seek change in myself before seeking it in him. Previously, my anxiety would cause me to spend hours wondering if the counselors were right about our incompatibility. Those moments made me pull away more, which made it more difficult for us to connect. But now, I’ve learned to stop thinking so far ahead. Instead of letting a bad day allow me to panic and contemplate divorce, I do my best to see each day a just that: one day. We still have our ups and downs, but I’ve learned to see each “tomorrow” as a reset button, and seeing him try so hard motivates me to give it all I have.
Our relationship is far from perfect, but I know it’s better than it was, and that’s because we learned to better consider each other feelings. I’ve noticed that he tries hard to check in before making decisions and gives me ample notice of plans with friends. We’re trying to prioritize spending time together; we’re not always successful, but the intention matters. Surprisingly, a lot of the improvement came from realizing he can’t be everything to me. He doesn’t have to be my best friend; I have friends for that. I’ve invested more time in doing things I enjoy, and that means less time to be critical of us.
Counseling just wasn’t for us; whether it was because the counselors we saw were especially bad, or that counseling wouldn’t work for us generally, I don’t know. But we found that we were treated with cookie-cutter routines for cookie-cutter marriages, and that didn’t work for our unique relationship, which has its own set of struggles. In the end, we've learned that no one knows us (and how to work on our relationship) better than we do and that just because things are hard doesn't mean they’ll always be that way.
A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez is a diversity content specialist who produces materials relating to mental and physical health, sociology, and parenting. Her work can be seen on several national platforms. Check her out on Facebook and Twitter. from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2hGnnOj Marriage Counseling Made My Relationship Worse (but We're Working on It) Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2iEjsm7
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