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theflowerofthecommonwealth · 1 year

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Counting Sheep

Summary: Oneshot of Jasmine struggling to fight herself to fall asleep and getting help from a new tiny fuzzy friend and Nick. This is cannon, I really wanted to write some familial fluff and comfort ahead of the main fic because I’m impatient and this filled me with joy.

TW: For intense feelings of loneliness and vague allusion to abuse of a child and deaths of family members. All of this is in the first half but it sweetens up at the end. 🥰🥰🥰

It had been one of Jasmines hopes that getting back into a regular sleeping schedule wouldn’t prove to be that difficult. Yet it had to be nearing midnight and she was not granted a wink of sleep despite her tiredness crying for otherwise.

Stupid fears racking up a storm again.

Ellie had long since gone to her home for the night and was not due back until the morning. Tomorrow, the older woman had planned to fill the day with reorganizing and deep cleaning the office from top to bottom, a task that will prove to be easier said than done.

Despite the tedious chore that laid ahead, Ellie utterly refused to leave or even step out for a moment until she was certain that Jazzy was freshly washed and properly ready for bed. She only left to chase her own sleep once the teen had screwed her eyes shut with the blanket over her and had promised to try to come knocking if something went astray.

Nick was out on another, “too dangerous for you kiddo,” case that would likely extend to at least a few days. Jasmine of course gave a loud fuss about being left behind when she was literally made for this sort of thing, but Nick had stood firm on his decision and left her sulking at home. Deep down she understood that Dad was only looking out for her, but she wished that he wouldn’t leave for an extended amount of time without bringing her along.

Because now she was left here alone in the darkness with only her thoughts to keep her company. Not a new thing in her world and it shouldn’t be an issue long term, but tonight it would appear that it was becoming problematic, and there wasn’t a instant solution on hand.

It’s downright scary, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone like her.

Her limp arm swatted besides her to the nightstand where her brown stuffed bear that she had dubbed Winnie resided. Jazzy seized the beloved toy and held it close to her chest, smelling that oh-so-familiar and comforting flowery perfume that she had sprayed on Winnie’s head earlier.

The bottle described the scent as delicate fresh water rose with a mixture of sharp cattleya that partnered with warm black vanilla, but to Jas it was more special than that. It was her mother’s signature scent, one that filled the girl with a strong sense of the nurturing, maternal, and unconditional love that her mother had expressed. Funny how a simple scent could trigger those feelings that she had missed.

Made her feel much warmer and complete on the inside, but it couldn’t fill that dull, lonely emptiness of a void sinking in her heart on its own. Maybe she needed an actual living companion to help out.

Her eyes went down to the foot of the bed to where Apple, her little ginger kitten, was swirled up and snoozing without a care in her kitty-cat world.

“Lucky, you make it seem so easy,” she whispered while reaching down to scratch between her tiny ears. Apple chittered in her sleep, twisting so she was belly up with her toe beans raised. She pawed the air a bit, then settled into the kind of godly level of slumber that Jas could only daydream to achieve at the moment.

At least one of them could be snoozy and tranquil, but other still had to figure something out because she was starting to feel the claws of desperation start to tug and scratch at her. Obviously laying in a soft warm bed didn’t help in any shape, way or form, so perhaps another familiar resting place would suit her better.

Moving carefully as to not disturb her slumbering feline friend, the teen gracefully rolled herself out of bed and onto the floor, taking Winnie with her. Thick fogginess stuffed her head as if cotton balls had been shoved into her ears and into her skull, a telltale sign that sleep was a necessity. She reached under her bed and tossed aside her baseball bat, granting her enough room to crawl under the bed to a greater sense of enclosed security.

By now she was supposed to go downstairs, bundle herself in her coat, open the door to the freezing winter night that would turn any poor unfortunate soul into a popsicle if they got stuck out there and make a short trek down to Ellie’s house. But no one in their right mind wants to be awoken in the middle of the night by a close-to-tears teen whining about not being able to sleep so they woke you up from your slumber to help them.

That’s just downright embarrassing.

To spare both parties from having to deal with that disaster she instead curled up into a fetal position with her back against the wall and her stuffed bear held close, trying to breathe the exercise routine that Nick had showed her. Being under the bed gave her a more enclosed atmosphere, a little shield to keep her safe. From down here, no monster can easily grab onto you and drag you away, especially when you have a baseball bat and a million pocketknives stashed nearby.

Jasmine shut her eyes with a small prayer on her lips for some relief from this, just a sliver of peace for tonight.

“One sheep, two sheep, three sheep…”

Please work.

“Four sheep, five sheep, six sheep…”

Hours that felt like several lifetimes ticked by, each one draining her more than the last until she finally reopened her eyes with a frustrated mewl.

Every damn sheep, bunny, kitten, puppy, brahmin, molerat, and deathclaw in the whole farm of La-La world had been counted, yet she was more awake then when she first went to bed!

Disgruntled and on the brink of tears, Jas gave up and crawled out from under the bed shaking all over with her teeth clenched together. She kicked her feet several times at the floor with huffs and groans of frustrated curses, her exhaustion not allowing her to turn into a tornado of fury and cause some real damage.

How cruel and unfair sleep was to her, because even when she is granted it, it’s not even a pleasant or peaceful experience as night terrors are almost guaranteed to plague her. But apparently humans ain’t solar powered so unless she wants to spend another 24hrs worrying Dad and Ellie on why she could barely function and was slurring her words, she had to think of something.

She stopped kicking up a storm and rested her head in her knees, blowing some runaway curls off her face while she pondered. Apple was somehow still perfectly asleep despite the ruckus, now stretched out to cover the majority of the bed like she owned it.

The teen twirled her fingers through her hair as she watched her pet snooze away, her own chest quickly rising and falling with her rapid breathing.

There was a singular thought that lingering in the back of her mind… An older trick she had used a long time ago. It would require movement though, if she was gonna attempt to try it.

Slowly but surely, Jasmine rose up from the floor shaking all over. Her steps wobbled like little Bambi as she made her way down from her loft and into the pitch dark with Winnie in tow. This was possibly a horribly idiotic idea, she can hardly see shit and it might make her more despondent in the end. But it was her last shot to shoot.

The only sounds that she could hear was that of her own breath and footsteps along with the sound of the howling winter wind shaking the building from outside. It almost sounded like a giant ghost was hovering just outside with the way the wind whistled through the makeshift buildings.

She grabbed one of Nicks coats from off the hanger by the main door, wrapping the well worn garment around herself and taking in the familiar scent of cigarettes, old cloth, and metal. If she can ground herself into something or someone that was recently reassuring and soothing, then maybe she can be granted the grace of sleep from that.

It had worked wonderfully on both a toddler and a 13 year old multiple times, so what’s to say that it can’t work now over 200 years into the future?

Holding the coat with one hand, she stretched out the other and felt around in the abyss until she found his desk and chair. Seating herself, Jas shooed away any leftover clutter that Nick had carelessly left into the far corners of his desk, taking care not to drop anything. She laid her head into her hands, sighing with a shiver and a chatter of her teeth.

The rest of the office was much chiller compared to her loft that was kept warm with a small space heater. It was their only one and she had insisted multiple times that it should be used downstairs for everyone’s comfort, but Nick wouldn’t hear it. So it stayed permanently in her room, leaving the rest of the office colder than the Arctic at night and unfortunately, she ain’t no polar bear.

Would’ve been a smart move on her part to bring one of the blankets downstairs when she made the journey here, but she’ll have to settle with tucking in the coat that smelled like her adopted father around herself even tighter.

“Mrrreow??”

The girl peeped opened her swollen eyes, barely making out the tiny figure that appeared from around the corner and trotted up to her. Apple leapt up onto the desk, very nearly body slamming Jas in the the face in doing so.

Apple hadn’t been here in the office all that long, but she had gotten synced with Jazzy the minute Nick had boughten the kitten home and the two had made eye contact.

Even at only six months, she could smell from a mile away when the teen was in despair, and her empathetic nature always sent her running over. The only reason that Jas could figure on why the kitten hadn’t come running sooner was because she was just as exhausted from the day as herself.

Jasmine snatched Apple the moment she landed on the desk, bringing her face close to the kitty's fuzzy neck for the warmth and the faint sound of her heartbeat. Apple purred with delight at the attention she was receiving, and on how she seemed to ease her distressed owner. Jas giggled when Apple started to knead the top of her head, as cats do when they are content.

Her giggles started to fade however, gradually turning into weak suppressed sobs. The teens biggest problem still stubbornly remained to torture her to over exhaustion, and she was this close to dumping herself on the floor with defeated wails to the merciless sleep lords.

Apple took to trying to groom the curls on Jazzy’s head, trilling quietly while doing so. The little feline couldn’t understand why Jasmine smelled like tears and sorrow, but she could understand that her actions made it disappear a tiny bit.

The front doors lock jingled and click from the outside, making the two of them turn their heads to look. It swung open and a big whoosh of frigid air rushed in after Nick as he stepped into his office with a heavy sigh.

Jazzy jolted with joy and almost melted with relief when she saw her Dad enter like a miracle given. Her lips parted to call out for him, but she couldn’t make a sound without the threat of tears overflowing her face.

Apple on the other hand appeared to be very pleased that her other food-and-cuddle-bringer had returned to comfort the smaller and cuter food-and-cuddle-bringer.

A few beats passed before the detective finally took notice of his daughter half asleep at his desk with her head nestled into her cat. Worry instantly riddled his face as he approached while undoing his shoulder holster, tossing it on the other desk. “Doll? Whatcha doing down here this early?”

“Mmph… can’t fucking sleep,” she croaked out with the dreaded frustrated tears dripping down her cheeks. She felt like such a needy baby, but she can’t stop herself from crying or yearning to be held. Although she stayed in her spot without moving to give home a hug.

Nick kneeled down and tenderly brushed some curls from her face, getting a better look at his sleep tormented kid in the dim lighting.

“How long has she been down here, Apple?” He questioned the kitten while giving her scratches with his exposed hand that provided maximum effective pets. Apple purred in approval, lifting her chin to allow her favorite spot to be reached but left his question unanswered.

Jazzy briefly raised her head to meet Nicks glowing eyes in the otherwise darkroom. To others, it was considered terrifying to be meet with those kind of eyes and form, but she can’t think of a more loving sight or smile than her dads. Besides, she’s stared at people prettier and had never felt more terrified in her life.

Her weighted eyelids snapped shut again, a long slow breath escaping her lips. “Time is it?”

“Just past 4:00 am,” he replied while taking out his handkerchief from his breast pocket, gingerly wiping her tear stained face with it.

Much later than she had anticipated, but nothing can be done about it now. “M’kay…” Jasmine sucked in a breath, opening her eyes another time to gaze at Nick, whom she just remembered got back after a long day. “Hiya Daddy, welcome home…”

He let out a soft chuckle of partial relief upon hearing her sweet little greeting, tucking away the handkerchief and opening his arms to offer a hug.

“C’mere kiddo.”

She wasted no time leaping from the chair and into the warmth of his embrace upon hearing the invitation, almost choking on a sob. He touched her icy hands, then pressed his good hand to her cheek that might as well be frosted over. “Ya trying to catch your death? You’re absolutely freezing, Jazzy.”

“Cold don’t bother me,” she replied, her voice muffled because she was pressing her face into his coat. Could one’s nose fall off from the mere cold alone? ‘Cause it sure as hell felt like it could right now at any chosen moment.

“You’re shivering too, why didn’t ya go down to Ellies?” He questioned while rocking her from side to side in his arms, not expecting a complete answer.

“I dunno,” she responded in another mumble, knowing full well he can see right through her.

“Don’t know if I believe that, but let’s focus on getting you to catch some proper z’s.” He kissed her forehead and adjusted Winnie so she wouldn’t fall off when he stood with Jazzy scooped in his arms.

Most teens her age would fuss about being too old for monsters in the closets, stuffed animals, hugs and kisses from their parents, and being carried to bed by them. But how could she reject this when she missed all of her late family members dearly, so much so that words can’t begin to explain.

Family shouldn’t be taken for granted for even a singular moment, because you never know when you have to say goodbye to those cherish people, if you get the grace to say goodbye at all. She spent years yearning for the familial affection that was so cruelly ripped from her, years crying for someone to hold and protect her again. That’s why she won’t dare shove the fatherly love that Nick had for her away, it was her most treasured thing.

Worth more than gold in her bruised and broken little heart.

If Jas could had the capability to express how much he means to her right now, she would. But she had a feeling that Nick already understood, even better than anyone. So she simply nestled her head on his shoulder, already feeling secured and relaxed as he carried her back upstairs.

He tenderly settled Jazzy backs down on her mattress and turned on the bedside lamp, tucking the poor shivering girls blanket over her quite snuggly so she could warm up. Jas rubbed her face against her impossibly soft pillow, feeling like she was laid on a marshmallow.

She heard the ruffling of Nick’s coat followed by the flick of his lighter and the click of the lamp being turned off. A warm glow remained however, and Jas soon caught the cozy scent of pumpkin cinnamon spice in the air from the candle that he had lit.

Nick brought out and aired several blankets to lay over her form, enough that she could hardly move under them all. “Need to buy heavier blankets for ya kitten, Jack Frost can get a whole-lotta more fiesty in the later months,” he commented as he bent down to adjust the heater to its highest setting.

“Can’t move no more,” she informed him while struggling to free her arms from the pile of blankets and sheets eating her, holding them out to Nick and grabbing midair for him like a little child when she finally did.

He chuckled and smiled warmly, kicking off his shoes before he set down his hat on the spot on her nightstand that Winnie once was. He took the time to make sure his daughter was snug before laying besides her and pulling the blankets over himself as well.

Jazzy immediately scooted closer and clung to him, listening to his inner working gurgle and churn and finding it to be just as comforting as any heartbeat. Nick tossed her hair over her pillow so it wouldn’t get tangled while she slept and pressed another kiss to her head. He held her tightly and took to rubbing her shoulder in the reassuring fatherly manner that came naturally for him.

“Shh, sweetheart, you’re alright. I’ve got you...”

Like pure magic the loneliness started to drip and melt away, the empty void that seemed to be all consuming at one point started to get filled. No more tears poured down Jazzy’s face as she listened to Nick hum Way Back Home, a song that he knew his kid deeply adored.

Apple chose this time to saunter into the room from downstairs, jumping up on the bed and stepping on the pair to lay behind Jasmine. She molded her body around her favorite teen girls head like a little hat, purring loudly and adding to the loving, homely atmosphere.

Finally, the exhausted girl started to slip off into a promising stretch of blessed sleep, her small hand reaching for Nicks as her breaths evened out to a rhythm.

“Mhm, love you Daddy…”

He gently squeezed his little girls hand, resting his chin on her head as she drifted off. “Sweet dreams kiddo, I love ya too.”

For the first time in a long while, Nick could say he felt like a complete man again.

(Excuse me while I go cry in the corner with happiness)

#There was probably a stupid amount of pumpkin scented anything when the bombs dropped #Cause you know. Halloween and Fall summon those types of things.#Elder Maxxon really would stand there and still call Nick an abomination.#Pfffpth. He’d barely get past the word abomination before being yeeted out of the state by Jazzy.#Or flushed down the toilet.#He’s such a good dad to Jazzy its just so sweet.#Apple is also such a sweetheart and part of my new joy to write about.#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout fanfic #father daughter relationship #nick valentine #OC Jasmine

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