There’s someone I’d like y’all to meet! His name is Dash and he’s the family van’s dashboard demon puppy 🖤❤️

Design is based on Zero from nightmare before christmas for the basic idea

Story behind Dash here: first, a random thup thup thupthupthupthup sound in the dashboard on the passenger side, probably related to the air vents. But it sounds kinda like the thup of a dog’s tail wagging against something

Then the volume nob stopped working, as in if you try to turn the volume up, it will do one of a few things: up a little, up a lot, down a little, down a lot, or mixed. Same for trying to turn the volume down

Then, sometimes, he’ll just change the volume without us doing anything! :D (this has been more rare of late)

The most recent skill our little demon puppy has learned is changing the radio station back one randomly sometimes! He’s very playful 🖤

Therapy in the Netherworld

Just a little fic I wrote because I wanted Lydia to seriously get some therapy. Put it under a readmore because I don’t want it taking up dashboard space.

Words: 2,936

Warnings: mention of suicide

Rating: T, for mention of suicide and death, but other than that no graphic depictions of violence or stuff like that. Just a girl talking about her trauma

They sat in a circle, reading the Handbook. Adam and Barbara sat next to each other, reading silently while Delia, Charles, and Lydia sat across from them.

“Well I’ll be darned. They do have an undead therapist.” Adam said with a chuckle, turning the book to show Barbara.

“That could have been helpful a long time ago.”

“What could there possibly be a therapist for?” Lydia asked skeptically.

“It says,” Adam looked back at the page, adjusting his glasses, “that therapy services are offered for those struggling to cope with their deaths...not exactly the kind of therapist we need.”

“We don’t need a therapist.” Lydia crossed her arms. “Dad’s just freaking out because I had a nightmare.”

“The same nightmare for the last three months, Lydia. And it’s not just a nightmare, it’s a night terror.”

“Same thing.”

“Actually, night terrors are more extreme and mostly for children.” Delia corrected proudly.

“...Well yes. But Lydia you were sleepwalking. You almost walked off the roof.”

“...Well a regular therapist would be a better idea.”

“We just think it’d be best if you had a therapist you could talk to about...stuff without judgment.”

“And the Netherworld is your choice? Delia is a better choice.”

“Aw, thank you.”

Adam sighed and stood, still holding the book. “It doesn’t hurt to try. They’re the only ones who can understand what’s happened. Just try one session.”

Lydia scowled, but didn’t protest.

Adam pulled out a piece of chalk. “Okay, it says to draw a door and knock to the rhythm of...shave and a haircut. Huh, you don’t often hear people refer to it that way.” He drew on the wall and knocked.

A doorway appeared and the door cracked open, emitting pink smoke and glitter. They coughed, backing up.

Adam looked at the book, confused. “Did I do it right?”

Barbara slowly opened the door and more smoke wafted through the air and then dissipated.

When it cleared, they saw a messy office with papers strewn about and an empty old-fashioned chair with holes in the upholstery. 

“...Well it’s certainly the Netherworld.” Adam covered his nose. “Smells like it.”

Barbara carefully stepped inside and looked around. “Hello? Is anyone here?”

“There’s probably no one here. No one would want to go to therapy after they die.” Lydia said. 

A pile of garbage sat up, making indiscernible noises. The noises turned into yawning and pieces fell off, revealing a demon underneath. She stood up, dusting herself off. She straightened her coat and messed up her hair and looked at the open door. “Oh shit. Hi.”

“...Are you the therapist?” Adam asked, almost regretfully.

She looked around and clicked her tongue. “Well I’m the only one here, aren’t I?”

“We were expecting someone more...different I guess.”

“Why were you sleeping under garbage?” Lydia asked.

“You’re looking at a demon and you’re asking about using garbage as a blanket?”

Lydia blinked and shrugged. The demon cleared her throat. “Okay, so what can I do for you?”

“Well, we were hoping you could help Lydia.” Adam answered, motioning to Lydia.

“The vampire?”

“I’m a human.”

“I usually only deal with dead people. And the occasional undead.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Undead people suck. I should know, I am one.”

“Can you just try talking to Lydia?”

The demon sat at her desk, throwing stuff off of it. “Well sit down and tell me what’s going on.”

“There aren’t any-” The trio was pushed onto a set of magically appearing chairs and pulled close to the desk.

Charles and Delia went to go in, but the door shut in front of them and the demon crossed her hands over each other, trying to appear more professional, but only came off as slightly more unsettling than before. It did not help when she gave a smile. “So, tell me what’s going on.”

Adam and Barbara looked at Lydia, putting their hands on her shoulders. Lydia sighed. “I’ve been having trouble adjusting to...something that happened a few months ago. A demon showed up and caused a lot of trouble and they’re just worried about all these nightmares I’ve been having.”

Her eyes lit up. “Ooh, demons. This’ll be fun.”

“...They say I should get some professional help. So here we are. In the Netherworld, talking to a demon about my problems. Cause by another demon.”

“Well good news is I can help.”

“You can? That’s great!” Barbara smiled.

The demon nodded. “Now, you two are dead and since I’m sure you want to not be trapped in the Netherworld, I would suggest you two leave back through the door to your house. Lydia will be safe here while we talk.”

They stood hesitantly, looking at Lydia. “I’ll be fine.” She assured. Accepting that, they sighed and walked through the door.

Lydia yelped as the chair changed into a therapy couch and she was lying on her back. The demon sat across from her, sitting in a large loveseat, holding a notepad and pen with pink unicorn on it. “Okay, so my name is Gem and I’m the unofficial therapist of the Netherworld.”

“Gem?”

“Short for Geminorum.”

“Does every demon have a stupid name?”

“It’s a nickname. My real name’s Ashley, but I go by Gem because I’m both a treasure and a Gemini.”

“...I guess that tracks.”

“So, Lydia, tell me how it all started.”

Lydia took a breath. “Well it started when my mom died. She and I were really close. I went into a really bad depression and my dad moved to get away from our house because...well she died in our house and it was just a lot for him to handle. So we moved into this house that Adam and Barbara died in, so they haunt it. It sucked, but they’re nice. And then I found out that Dad was engaged to Delia, who was/is my life coach. So I tried to kill myself. It obviously didn’t go as planned.”

“How were you gonna kill yourself?”

“What?”

“How?”

“Uh, I was gonna jump off the roof.”

“Classic. Keep going. What happened next?”

“Well, then I met Beetlejuice.”

“Oh, I know him.”

“You do?”

“Yup. Tacky outfit, always singing, cute butt?”

“What?”

“So he was trying to get you to say his name, I’m assuming?”

“...Yeah. Saying he could help me get revenge on my dad. Of course I didn’t listen to him. At first. Then I had to. He scared my dad away and then I was trapped in my house because if I left there’d be a giant monster who’d kill me because I was an ‘honorary ghost’ or whatever. It was fun at first. No one around to tell us what to do. And then I tried to bring my mom back to life and then he turned into a grade A asshole! He tricked me into almost exorcising Barbara and forced me to agree to marry him.”

“Green card thing?”

“...Yeah.”

Gem snorted. “Classic.”

“Of course, I agreed to save Barbara. And then I stabbed him in the chest with Delia’s art.”

“Nice. Always kill creepy old men.” She held her fist up for a fist bump, but Lydia shook her head no. Gem pursed her lips and put her hand down.

“And then his mom tried to kill me because I had escaped into the Netherworld to go find my mom, but then I left before she could catch me. And then he fed her to a sand worm. That all happened months ago.”

“So what are your problems?”

“Night terrors, triggers, angry outbursts, abandonment issues...you know. The typical stuff.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“It’s nothing serious.”

“Humor me. Let’s start with the night terrors.”

“Well it just started out with me waking up screaming. I was having bad dreams about...well, him. Him and his stupid outfit. It’s always the wedding. I’m in the wedding dress, dancing to some distorted music. He’s smiling like this is the best thing in the world. I’m crying. Before I stab him, I wake up with everyone around me. Last week I started sleepwalking. I woke up, standing on the roof.”

“Do you think it’s him? Trying to get you to kill yourself so you’ll be stuck with him?”

She shook her head. “No. Not really. I don’t think he’s making me do it. It doesn’t feel like someone’s forcing me. It’s like a...natural reflex. Like a muscle memory. Like it’s telling me to meet him there.”

“Why would it tell you to meet him there?”

“Well, we met on the roof before I was going to kill myself.”

Gem hummed to herself, taking more notes. 

“I just gotta say that you’re very professional and probably the only demon I’ve met who didn’t immediately make me want to vomit.”

“Aw, thank you. I take my job very seriously. I know I look like a hot mess, but that’s only because I choose to. Not many jobs let you have pink hair.”

“Do all demons have weird colored hair?”

“Yeah. It’s part of the gimmick. So tell me about the triggers and angry outbursts you mentioned.”

Lydia sucked her teeth and sighed, curling up slightly. “I don’t know...it’s kind of stupid.”

“You know what’s stupid? I was considered one of the most feared women’s gang leaders in the 80′s. I got drunk, fell off a bridge, and now I’m a therapist. What’s not stupid is your trauma.”

She smiled a little. “Thanks...Okay...” Lydia took a breath. “My dad and step-mom were planning all the details for their wedding. I was in the living room, kind of listening and then I just...started crying and ran into my room. They decided to hold off on it until I was better.”

“Poor thing.” Gem said sympathetically. 

“I joined a stargazing club at school because in New York I never got to see stars that much. Of course, the first constellation we talked about was Orion.”

Gem nodded understandingly. “Second brightest star in the constellation is Betelgeuse.”

Lydia winced at the mention of the name and Gem tensed up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what I was saying...How about whenever we need to bring him up, we can just call him something else.”

“Like what?”

“Buttmunch?”

Lydia snorted. “That works.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, Bertha said...Buttmunch and I just froze up. She told her parents that I tackled her, telling her not to say it, but I don’t remember that.”

Gem hummed to herself. “It sounds like you have a case of PTSD.”

“PTSD?”

“Well from what you’ve told me, whatever he did traumatized you. Even if you don’t think it was that serious. You were depressed and suicidal, he showed up and made your life a living hell, you were forced to kill him, and what 12 year old needs to stab someone for forcing them to marry him, trapping her in her own house, scaring her dad away, and feeling like you’re obligated to hang out with him because he saved your life?”

“First off, I’m not 12. Second of all, he didn’t save my life.”

Gem looked at her clipboard. “Well, actually he did. You said he saved you from his mom.”

“Which she wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for him.”

“And you wouldn’t have been alive up to that point if it wasn’t for him.”

Lydia scoffed, crossing her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You said you met him on the roof, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you were about to jump, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So what happened between you wanting to die and him scaring your dad away?”

“Well...he saw me about to jump and when he realized I could see him, he tried to get me to say his name. But he can’t say his name, which is dumb. Why can’t he say his name? Every other demon can say their name just fine.”

“It’s a thing that happens. If he could say his name, he’d always be saying it to give himself power and he’d never shut up. It really depends on the source material you’re working with.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Anyway, so what happened after that?”

“Well he told me that killing myself is stupid and I should try to get revenge on my dad. I told him to piss off and then I took his advice but had Barbara and Adam help me instead.”

“Poor choice, they look like they think ‘revenge’ is a fancy French dish. Now, from what you just told me, if he hadn’t shown up, you would have jumped, your life would have been over, and you would have been stuck doing civil work. Ergo, he saved your life.”

Lydia scowled, trying to think of a snarky response. 

“So?” 

“You just have a lot of confusing feelings. You want to be mad at him, which you have a right to be. But he did technically save your life. And you know you wouldn’t be here without him. So you’re also partially grateful for him.”

“What does this have to do with my nightmares?”

“Well you said yourself that your brain wanted you to meet him there.”

“That’s dumb. You’re not even a real therapist. Telling you all this won’t help. You won’t understand. None of them do! They just want me to get better, but they don’t know what it’s like! To not be able to sleep because you’re afraid that when you wake up, it’ll all be a dream and you’re still trapped in the house with him. Or that he came and killed my dad in the middle of the night as an act of revenge. Or hate yourself for trusting him in the first place. And I can’t even talk to them about it. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to them about it. They just wouldn’t get it...I guess that’s why they sent me here. Because you’re the only one who would get it.” Lydia wiped her eyes and sniffled. 

Gem sighed, setting the clipboard down. “Lydia.” She summoned a box of tissues and handed them to her. “You’re stressed, restless, you’re scared, you’re angry, you’re a kid who dealt with stuff no grown adult should have dealt with. You have too many thoughts going on now. So what’s going to help?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay...When was the last time you slept? Like actually slept.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Couple weeks ago...”

“Tell you what, you can stay here and sleep. It’s perfectly safe in here. Buttmunch won’t get you. You can sleep as long as you want since no one ever needs me. And we can talk whenever you want. That way you have someone who understands what you’re going through. Does that sound good?”

Lydia shrugged again, but this time with a smile. “I guess.”

“It’s not a permanent fix, but it’s a start. And if you have a night terror, I’ll be right here for you. I promise.”

“You do?”

“Of course. Demons have questionable morals, but we never break a promise. And if you ever do get stuck with him again and someone happened to have said his name three times, just say it three times again. That takes all his power away.”

“It does?”

“Well, it varies by which one you’re working with, but yeah. If you say his name three times, it gives him power, if you say it three more, it takes his power away. It’s like that shitty book series says. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. Or whatever. The less you say his name the more scared you are. So the more you say it, the less scary he becomes and the less power he has over you.”

“That actually makes sense.”

“I’m a pro at handling demon shit. Now, lie down and get some rest.”

Lydia nodded and adjusted herself, lying on her back. “I actually was wondering...what happened to him and his mom?”

“Hm?”

“Well, his mom got eaten by a sand worm and...well, I stabbed him. He went to the Netherworld.”

“Well, since Juno died, Miss Argentina is in charge. I’d let her boss me around...”

Lydia raised an eyebrow. 

“I mean Juno is technically still a demon, but sand worms take about 1,000 years to digest their food so she’s probably gonna be there for a while, so she’s listed as dead.”

“Whoa...I feel sorry for her...even if she did deserve it. What about him?”

Gem shrugged. “I haven’t really seen him around. He’s probably hiding from his responsibilities like normal.”

Lydia laughed a little. “Well, you seem relatively normal for a demon. What’s the deal?”

“I just talk to people daily. There are actually a LOT of people who don’t read the Handbook, and thank God/Satan for that. Do you know how many people die a day? 55 million. Only about 2% actually read the Handbook in its entirety, which is still over 1 million people, but holy shit is it hard to see 1 million people a year.”

Gem snapped her fingers and a blanket and pillow landed on Lydia.

Lydia grunted, grabbing the pillow off her face and scowling. “Hey!”

“Now get some sleep, kiddo. You need it.”

Lydia tucked the pillow under her head and wrapped herself in the blanket. 

It was surprisingly comfortable and devoid of any terrible smells. She smiled, pulling it close. “Thanks, Gem...”

“One step at a time.”

Lydia nodded and closed her eyes, dreaming about much nicer demons with stupid hair.

Ape Dos Mil Extended Chapter Notes

1 / 9 Skeptics and True Believers

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile and the dashboard). The story is posted here. 

She knew she hated him from the moment she laid eyes on him. Teresa’s parents had died when she was a little girl and she’d practically raised herself, so she didn’t exactly have any role models to set an example for her and teach her to be mild mannered, or to teach her that hate was not the opposite of love. She was emotionally driven, and the things she felt, she felt deep in her soul. But anyway, it was a matter of principle. She hated him. Teresa was in Dallas, in Camila Vargas’ warehouse where the prostitutes and drug mules slept, and he was in the space that could be considered the bullpen. When their eyes met for the very first time, she felt the fire ignite and build inside her chest, her heart like a caged bird trying to escape her ribs, blood thick as lead in her anger.

I don’t...I don’t know why writing about Jeresa brings up so many Saves the Day references for me. Maybe because a lot of the imagery in the lyrics are kind of extreme? It’s not a direct reference but the last sentence, with the part about her heart trying to escape her ribs was written with “You Vandal” in mind: yeah my ribs have parted ways, said ‘we’re not going to protect this heart you have’.

James was the carrot Camila dangled in front of everyone—the girls and the sicarios—to get them to do what she wanted. He was the Taylor Vaughan in the world of the warehouse; everyone would either willingly fuck someone’s shit up to be him, or, they would lose their shit to be fucked by him. It seemed to suit him—looking good while doing bad things. He was who they could never be, or never be with, and that was exactly how Camila wanted it.

She’s All That is back on Netflix and I couldn’t help myself. In my mind, there’s this whole backstory of Teresa watching teen cult rom coms growing up, and that’s why she speaks English so well when she lands in Dallas, but this part of the story definitely wasn’t the appropriate time to elaborate on that (there may never be an appropriate time to elaborate on that, lol). But she knows who Taylor Vaughan is, from seeing the movie. The way James is likened to Taylor Vaughan (portrayed by Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) is because of a line said by Dean Sampson (Paul Walker’s character) near the beginning of the movie. Dean says, “Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her” (0:47).

This is an idea I’ve been thinking about for a while. Because Camila is certainly not dumb. James sets the bar for everyone, and it’s a standard that they can’t compete with or for. It’s like putting James in his position is her slapping them in the face with a “you wish”. James and Camila both know that, and Teresa is smart enough to figure it out quickly.

But James was good at his job. Even after he got Teresa riled up, even after she called him an asshole, even after he told her she was going to die, he got her into the custodian’s closet and she threw up every last baggie of coke. He was so good at his job, in fact, that when she was barely hanging on, declared she could not possibly go any further, he’d decided, no, it wasn’t her moment to tap out yet. James pulled the bottle of soap out of the dispenser and poured it into her mouth until she heaved on her own gag reflex one more time and the last three bags came up.

This chapter is named after “Skeptics and True Believers” by The Academy Is... . The paragraph mentions that Teresa was barely hanging on because of the part of the song that goes: near death, last breath, and barely hanging on. It also seemed fitting because it’s a story about about soulmates, after all, and it is made clear that both Teresa and James believe in soulmates.

There’s one more song reference here. The part about James deciding it’s not Teresa’s time to tap out yet is because of PUP’s “Kids”: And I had it maxed out. I had a feeling, oh. Nothing is working. And everything's bleeding, oh. I should've tapped out. Given into my demons, oh.

This is a really interesting moment for Teresa, because we know how strong she is, that she’s a survivor and fighter. But she says she can’t do it, she can’t throw up anything else. She’s defeated, which is understandable because it’s not everything she’s going through is easy. It’d be easier to give in and give up, right? But James doesn’t let her tap out and takes over when he pours the soap in her mouth to make sure she can, makes sure she survives.

“What time is it?” Teresa kept her eyes on the groud, avoiding the light from the warehouse windows illuminating the dust motes in the air.

“It’s almost three,” James said flatly, then emphasized, “PM.”

Teresa let out a long sigh but didn’t respond to his badgering.

“Get up,” James muttered. “You’re coming with me.”

She finally looked up at him and made eye contact, squinting slightly against the afternoon light, but didn’t make a move to get up. James rubbed his fingers against his thumb impatiently. She sat still.

“Where?” Teresa asked.

Okay, listen, when I use dialogue from the show I turn on the closed captions to make sure that it’s all exact to what is said in the scene. That being said, I’ve seen and watched this scene so. many. times. I turned the volume to max in my headphones as I edited this to make sure I hadn’t been mishearing it this whole time. The Netflix closed captions claim that James says “come with me” but I just don’t buy that. I swear what he says is “you’re coming with me”. If I’m wrong, I’m sorry that I wrote it in wrong. (But I don’t think I am.)

“Mil gracias, Jaime.” Charger was already waving him off, typing out a message to the supposed professional cheerleader. “Quiet night in for you and the hot redhead tonight?”

James has a lot of nicknames from George. Boaz calls him Santiago. There’s a quick moment from 2x06 where Guero is speaking Spanish and calls him Jaime. In the translated closed caption, he says, “look here, James” (0:23), but you can hear him say Jaime. I can’t have Guero being the only one to call him that (lol) so I decided that maybe a lot of the warehouse guys call him that when they speak to him in Spanish.

Teresa’s back was turned to him as he approached, making her bed. James meant to ask if she was ready to go but his voice got caught in his throat when he saw how she’d made the bed. Even though it was a thin foam mattress on a rusty frame, she’d made her space stand out. It was nice and neat, a clean line folded into the corner. It was the same way nurses made beds in the infirmary and the way soldiers did in the barracks. James believed there were certain skills from boot camp that could never be unlearned. It was how he made the bed.

When I said I’d come up with the weirdest soulmates fic ever based on the tiniest detail, I wasn’t kidding around. When Guero leads the DEA to the empty warehouse in Dallas, he knows which bed was Teresa’s because he sees the corner folded over. Then there’s a flashback scene to Mexico, with Teresa telling him she makes the bed that way because her mom was a nurse and taught her that way. 

James was in the military. He was a soldier. He would have had to have made it through boot camp. He would have to know how to make those hospital corners.

And that being a thing they have in common was screaming out at me to take it in a literal sense: it’s why they’re soulmates. And, even further, it’s how they find out they’re soulmates.

The gears kept turning in my head. Because what if they don’t come to the realization at the same time? What if only one of them knows? It changes everything about their dynamic and why they do the things they do for each other through the first three seasons.

James knew Teresa was trouble. He’d told her as much, with some snarl in his voice and his eyes narrowed, as the sound of bass from the speakers in Camila’s club thumped into their conversation the night before. Pointing out the dangerous nature Teresa possessed was a warning—to her and to himself—not to get too close so she didn’t pull him down with her. The feeling he couldn’t place when he was around her would land him in serious trouble if he wasn’t careful. And he had plans for a future, completely separate and away from the Vargas cartel.

Looks like I went in hard with the pop punk references for this one. There’s a song by New Found Glory called “Don’t Let Her Pull You Down” that made me go with the phrasing that’s in this paragraph. 

All things considered, it probably was an act of betrayal on the universe’s part. The odds of someone dying on their birthday were so much better than all of the stars aligning. It was why people made their plans and chose to love without the universe in mind.

One more pop punk song reference in name only. That’s just how my dumb brain works. I’ll write sentences because I think of lyrics or song titles (or both). This time it was Senses Fail’s  “The Irony of Dying on Your Birthday”.

Survey #379

“sometimes i fear the worst in me, is the best you’ll ever know”

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? No. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Yeah. Most notably, the only concert I've ever been to was outside during a thunderstorm, haha. Made it more badass. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never had one. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Not that I really ever had a job long enough to notice. How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? We never stayed overnight anywhere, we just visited one once to see my dying grandmother for the last time. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? I used to do front flips, but I was too scared to do a back flip in case I landed on my neck and broke it. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? They all sucked. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Dad did the "wrong" way, which I understood first, so Mom was insistent on teaching me the "proper" way, I think because she thought the knot was tighter and therefore safer. Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? Not a lot, but I don't feel like counting. Do you think dimples are cute? Yep. Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? It really depends on what I'm feeling. The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? My mom and older sister. What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers. Have you watched a movie today? No. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My sister's. Do you love soft pretzels? Oh hell yes. Cinnamon and sugar are THE best. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because the dog is stressing her the fuck out. I saw it coming eventually. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? When it comes to really liking someone, I like to know them well. That way, I'm more confident in knowing me liking them is justified. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I admittedly don't do either currently, but I'd buy cards if I had an income. When was the last time you were being hypocritical? I don't know, but I know I can be without realizing just like everyone else. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? I almost exclusively cramp up in my lower left abdomen when I have my period. What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? One of my classmates in college was named Apple. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? I get more shy than anything. I don't know why, I just do. Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I hope so. I sure try to be. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. .-. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? I don't, but I think they're pretty funny, mostly though because I just remember that video of one glitching horribly where it would get stuck and "sing" all slow and demonic, then it would snap back to normal. I love that video too much lmao. Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? "Accused" is the wrong word, I've just been professionally diagnosed. I have a lot of disorders. Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? I paid for my tattoo. Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? I never do, never have, and never would. That shit would FUCK you up in a wreck. Don't take car safety lightly. Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I don’t have a favorite, given I know none of them personally at all. Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Well duh. I love a hell of a lot, don't make me dig through my head to ensure I leave no one out, lol. Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes. Are you more of a dog or cat person? Cat person. I see that more and more and more as time goes on. Dogs tend to just have too much energy for me. Not all, of course, but still. Have you ever failed math? I did in college. Skittles! What's your favorite color? Red. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I don't think so. But who the fuck knows with how fucked up my nightmares are. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? Just that I love my family. Can you sleep with the light on? It's possible for me to, but it's difficult. What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? Hm, I dunno. What band can’t you stand listening to? I absolutely hate The Talking Heads. Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? No, for two reasons: I don't believe they're accurate, and two, I'd be having an anxiety attack over whether or not my nerves would "show" something. What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Uhhhh does Sherlock count? Jason and I used to watch that and I loved it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? I think parrots specifically are super fascinating, but I wouldn't. I don't want any potentially noisy pets. How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? They're all dead. The only grandparent I really knew well was my maternal grandmother, and we had... a lot of differences. I don't think she liked me much, and she was WAY too old-fashioned, uptight, and mean to my mom for me to get along well with her. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Maybe? What is your current problem? I had a fucking dream that was stupid detailed that Jason and I got married and so today has been shit. I love motherfucking PTSD. Do you like canopy beds? Yeah, I wish I had one. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? Neither, really... I want to live in the woods/some area relatively isolated, but with just a few neighbors spotted around so I'm not TOTALLY alone. But to entertain the question, I guess I'd pick a small town. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? A lion for its strength and speed. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I LOVE that show. That shit's got no right to be as funny as it is lmao. Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Nah, I never watched it. Last alcoholic drink you had? A REALLY strong margarita that I could barely drink because of the alcohol concentration. What are you known for? Probably liking meerkats way too much. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever gone frog hunting? No, not exactly. However, whenever my dad and I went catfishing, I would always do a scan of the area for toads. You'd always find 'em. Do you ever suffer from dry skin? My skin, particularly my scalp, is STUPID dry. Gross to picture, but imagine having both a clinically dry scalp as well as dandruff. That's me. Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, Roman would never allow me to cuddle something other than him, haha. What’s the weather like right this moment? It's cloudy out and 59*F. Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? No, that's always grossed me out. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Honestly, I don't remember, though I'm sure you'd assume I would, lol. Probably his bed because we were at his place more than mine, but idr. Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? My maternal grandmother had German ancestry, while I think her husband's was mostly Irish. What do you occupy your time with on flights? I just listen to my iPod and look out the window. Do you dog-ear pages in books? Yes. What’s a made up word of yours? I don't have any. It's weird, I don't know why, but it's a pet peeve of mine when people just make up words like they actually mean something. Even though isn't that exactly how language came about? I dunno, it's weird. Do you use Q-Tips? Only on the exterior of my ears unless something is really bothering me interiorly. Frequent use of Q-Tips is how I got ear wax literally adhered to my eardrum that required medical attention. It just pushed the stuff further and further back. Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Well, I can't honestly say I was very romantically interested in Tyler, but we still dated for like a week or two. I DID sort of like him in high school my freshman year, but this was SO many years later that it's not fair to say I "knew" him anymore. I kinda just agreed to go out because I felt bad saying no and also just figured that we'd re-familiarize with each other through dates, anyway. What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? I have no idea. What makes you dizzy? Just about everything, it seems. I have insanely low blood pressure due to some prescriptions that I HAVE to move slowly, especially when standing up, if I don't want to fall on my face. Are your parents liberal or conservative? I think my dad is more conservative, but Mom is maybe more liberal? I actually don't know. Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? No, because I went through a span of taking horrible care of them during my worst depression that they now have a conspicuously yellow tint. I had braces before. Are you happy with your height? Sure?