Got blessed with the stupidest modern!au idea for Sanuso I just had to share because I enjoy the idea so much. Sanji getting dragged to an indoor Zoo that houses reptiles, amphibians and insects by his friends and trying his damndest to not be absolutely horrified by the bugs and arachnids in front of the ladies, failing horribly because Luffy of course is just super hyped the entire time (“WHOOA SANJI LOOK ITS WINGS ARE SO HUGE!” “SANJI THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE A STICK! “SANJI THIS ONES POISON CAN STUN A GROWN MA-“ -“NOPE!”). This leads to him having a minor panic attack until someone gently touches his shoulder and goes “Hey, are you good?”. And that’s how Sanji meets local zookeeper and bugenthusiast Usopp, who not only manages to whisk him away to the staff room to steady his nerves with some coffee but also makes Sanji laugh and just hits it off with him immediately. Just in love with the idea of those two becoming fast friends and falling in love while Sanji also has to grit his teeth and face that the guy he’s falling for will also start infodumping about tarantulas the second he gets a chance and Usopp having to navigate about his crushes fear of insects by having to put a towel over all of his five terrarium’s he has at home because he’s considerate like that (and the fact that Sanji even wants to come up to his place with him, even tough Sanji is horrified at the thought of even being in the same room as a praying Mantis and that makes him feel all warm inside)

this is the sweetest most adorable thing in the whole world and i think i just died a little reading it /pos

imagine sanji trying to overcome his fear by letting usopp teach him about insects!!! he still feels unsafe around them, but the fact that someone as sweet as usopp likes them so so much makes him think a bit differently of them.

also, turns out he really likes usopp's apartment because despite being full of terrariums and insects, it's also full of plants and vegetation. and sanji loves both the aesthetic and the food he could make with them. like, i'm sure usopp has a private orchard somewhere (idk, say the roof of the building) and sanji would absolutely love to come over to his apartment only to make him different meals with the vegetables he cultivates.

and this is cliché af but i'm thinking about usopp having the keys to the zoo and bringing sanji with him at night. sanji isn't.... as excited as usopp ("the tarantulas are going to eat me and you won't even notice before it's too late!" "sanji, that's literally impossible." "IT'S DARK. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY DO IN THE DARK!" "I LITERALLY DO KNOW. I STUDIED THEM, YOU IDIOT!"). but usopp takes him to a place that's dark and full of trees and sanji is 100% sure they shouldn't be there because it doesn't look like a place for visitors. there's no sign or animals around and it's just... it's just trees and kind of looks like a forest. turns out it's the back of the zoo, (let's pretend the zoo is like, in a mountain. close to the woods. i don't know how to describe it, but i once went to one like that and it was pretty) usopp tells him, and that people are never here because you can't get here without climbing and the only possible entrance is a little hallway that was accidentally created building the zoo's structure because they just forgot to cover it up. apparently, only usopp and zoro (he's the security guard, by the way) know about this.

so turns out the whole place is full of fireflies. which are not as scary as sanji thought they were. they're beautiful. and of course, usopp is so not looking at them, if you know what i mean. he's lost staring at sanji's eyes. i think that's when they both know they're meant to be together despite being so different.

-> a lil bit of zolu: luffy loves going to this zoo and often tries to talk to the animals and climb on stuff so zoro has to stop him all the time. not because he wants to stop him, it's just his job. tbh most of the time the guy is sleeping and finds the job boring, so somebody doing all this crazy shit around the zoo makes his life wayyy more interesting. if they fall in love or not that's up to you (they definitely do, though).