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off-in-the-moors · 3 years

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Joseph Kavinsky analysis, part 2

aka no voice and no dream pack

Warnings: spoilers for the whole Raven Cycle, mentions of: drug-use, abuse, death, s*cid, xenophobia

Part 1 // Part 2

Before starting, I wanted to thank for likes and support, not only on part 1 but also on my other posts. I was writing this more for the catharsis, after months of seeing and not really speaking about a lot of stuff. It’s nice to know, somebody read it. Some say, Kavinsky is their comfort character and, well, he will stay with me for a very long time. But enough of that. Let's talk about the point of view, xenophobia and the Dream Pack.

PoV

The running motif in TRC is, all antagonists get PoVs. No matter if they appear in one book (like Whelk) or reoccur (like the Greenmatles). The reader gets multiple chapters with their backstories, internal thoughts and goals. This move by the author is a double-edged sword, on one hand we get a better understanding of them but on the other, by knowing them better they become less effective antagonists and the air of mystery and surprise of what they're up-to/what they know is lost. E.g. In TDT we are first told about Colin Greenmatle and what is he capable of, making him a good threat for our main characters. But when we finally meet him in BLLB, with his attitude and scenes like dissing Ronan's Latin grammar or making cheese crackers while his wife is held at gun-point, he becomes more of a comedic antagonist than a villain to fear.

But here's the thing: I already lied to you. In TRC, all antagonists get PoVs, except for Kavinsky. It's a odd exception from the rule, considering Gray Man in TDT and The Wasp Demon in The Raven King, also got PoVs. But why? There are two things to look at. One I already mentioned. By giving a character PoV, the reader gets better understanding of them. By not giving Kavinsky one, Margaret didn't give anything to make K or his actions clear or understandable. By not knowing his motivations, K is left to pure interpretations, but how the reader will do it mostly will be influenced by his demonetization. Of course, not everybody will just accept what the book tells them without thinking for themselves but most fans don't.

"Bang", he said softly, withdrawing the fake gun. "See you on the street."

Alone, this single line can be interpreted in many different ways. Is it K being angry and threatening Ronan? Or maybe Joseph breaking inside because he was proofen, he really has no one? It all depends on the reader.

Second, when asked on her tumblr, if she'll ever write anything from K's pov (in 2015, before The Raven King was published), M*ggie said she won't, because: she already explored that type of character ("the thoughts and motivations of a powerful, suicidal, creative person with few inhibitions") in Sinner (2014, spin-off/companion book of her older series, The Wolves of Mercy Falls, 2009-2011 for the main three) with Cole St. Clair; that writing through PoV of such character is emotionally and mentally draining for her (which is understandable); and even if she wanted to explore it again in the future, she would through a different character's lenses than K's.

Let's talk about St. Clair.

The characters of Cole and Kavinsky have some similarities: both are drug addicts, who are rich.

That's where they end.

Cole was a famous musician, having the stereotypical rock-star life (drugs, alcohol and sleeping with fans included) with good family relationships, while K was a son of a mobster who tried to kill him and a mother who was a drug-addict herself. While their perspectives would have similarities, there is also other problems. Cole St. Clair already got PoVs in his series and a stand-alone book, Joseph Kavinsky got nothing and will get nothing. Cole had friends that cared for him and helped him, Joseph Kavinsky had his Dream Pack (which whom we don't know what type of relation he had) and his customers who we can safely say, only cared for what he can provide them with, he tried to befriend or start a relation with Ronan who rejected even the idea of it and no one even reached out to him. Cole got his happy ending and (hinted at) a girl he loved, K got rejected by everyone and committed public suicide. (Now, I heard a opinion that K didn't commit suicide, because the dragon killed him. Here is the thing, K could move out of the way multiple times, even Ronan shouted to him to move. But he didn't. He watched the dragon fly towards him and just said "The world is a nightmare.". He choose death.)

People wanted K's PoV, because they wanted to know, what pushed him to do what he did in TDT. But, in my opinion, even if M*ggie gave K pov, she would use it to further demonize him than to make the reader understand him more. She already did write a whole post exaggerating and straw-manning the canon, just to also say "Kavinsky has a very logical backstory that leads him to this place". A backstory we as the reader never truly see and one she forgot to write into her book. At the end, she truly cared only about Ronan.

Xenophobia

The Raven Cycle is a very flawed and problematic series, there are already many other posts taking about racism, misogyny, lack of diversity and many other issues with it, but in regards to Kavinsky, I'll only touch on the xenophobia. (I could talk also about portray of metal-illness, but I'm not the person to talk about it and I would feel comfortable with it.)

Kavinsky is a stereotype of a Slavic person, one we see in American media since the Cold War, especially in 80s movies. The Evil Russian trope. The son of the mobster, drug-addict, forger who can get you anything even illegal stuff, a thief.

When describing Kavinsky, one of the things Ronan mentions is: "refugee's face, hollowed-eyed and innocent". One could argue, "refugee" has many meanings, but boiling it down, is a person who came to the country to escape and seek a refuge. Many people moved to America to find a better life, in the believe of the American Dream, and many of them where driven to do that, especially from ex-Eastern Bloc countries. Kavinsky's Bulgarian, unknown if an immigrant himself or a son of immigrants, but the point still stands.

About Blue’s comment "import from somewhere else" I don't need to say much. First, obvious: You don't import people, only foreign goods, like cars. Second: this shows, he is "the other" in the eyes of the characters.

There is more to it, then just the physical description. We need to look at the outfit he wears. White tank top, white sunglasses, a small earring in one ear and a gold chain around his neck. This gives two images: one of a typical douche-bag, party asshole and the rich kid; the second of a Slavic stereotype, especially of a Russian criminal. If Margaret wanted to make K even bigger stereotype, she would dress him like a dress/gopnik, in a tracksuit.

The thing is: M*ggie could had saved the situation if she had subverted the stereotypes. E.g. K didn't wanting anything to do with the crime live, his family was forced into by circumstances or K being the guy to get stuff from, but he isn't doing it for any gain.

The truth is, K being Bulgarian doesn't add anything to his character, except for xenophobia. (Personally, I tried to find where the surname "Kavinsky" came from. It is Slavic, that much I can tell you for sure, but the rest is my speculation and searching. My best guesses are: Russian (it appears most commonly in Russian, after USA and a use in Russia set novel) or Polish (because it has uncanny simulates to the surname "Kawiński", if it was anglicized like e.g. "Kamiński" into "Kaminsky"). This isn't a common surname and with Peter from the To All the Boys trilogy and the musician, it's hard to find any information.)

But for now, K's portray is one of the many issues.

The Dream Pack or the lack of it

The Dream Pack is the unofficial name for K's group, with whom he parties and races (the canon name is "Kavinsky's Pack of Dogs" which is ugh). They're unfortunately, a non-characters. It's bolt to even call them background characters. Their portray, or again, lack of it, leaves them as props, their only role is to be K's followers and to show K as a leader on a equal ground as Gansey. We're lead to believe, they are like Kavinsky, yet another raven boys, and to make are main characters so “not like the other raven boys”. Problem rises in connection to the previous point, out of four members, only one has an English surname.

Prokopenko is a Ukrainian surname and for his description, we get "ears like wingnuts", "crooked shoulders" and his voice as "milky with drugs". It's said he had "recently attained official crony status", and was noted being in close desecrate to K for a while. Later we discover Proko is a forgery, a dream creature like Matthew and Aurora. It's heavily implied the real Prokopenko is dead, but if K had something to do with it, is unknown. He is the only character to "chortle", which Margaret said she hates and also "fratty boys and the chortling men they turn into". From this we can deduce, that not only the Dream Pack and people at K's parties but all raven boys (with the exception of the main characters) were writen like this on purpose as the personification of everything M*ggie hates. We are also informed, he drives a Golf.

Skov, who according to a deleted scene, full name is Blake Skovron, is polish (or at least anglicized version of it). In said deleted scene he's described as "major asshole, minor bigot" (unfortunately I couldn't find it to confirm it). The only canon stuff about him is: he drives a RX-7 (Mazda RX-7).

Jiang is Chinese, making him one of three canon Asian characters we see in the series (not counting Henry's father, because he's just mentioned, same goes for the Vancouver crowd). Like Proko, his role is a little bigger. In the Raven King, after Ronan finally returns to school after a long time of skipping, he tells him: "Hey, man, I thought you'd died". Ronan doesn't respond, but tells the reader he doesn't want to see Jiang outside of his car, racing. The only other thing we know about him: he drives a Supra (Toyota Supra).

Swan is the only one with an English name, but all we know about him is: he drives Volkswagen Golf, one that matches Proko's.

(For future writers: what car a character drives, isn't a personality trait.)

With the already minimal diversity, this shows the non-Americans as the antagonists or at least "the worst". On the opposite side, we have our main characters. Richard Campbell Gansey III, who has the whitest and British name I ever saw; Adam Parrish, born and raised in Henrietta, Virginia; Ronan Lynch, son of a Irish immigrant, whose Irish identity starts and ends on tit-bits; Blue Sargent, who is half-tree and ambiguous, but was drawn as white by the author multiple times (Yes, I am aware of the Instagram post, but Margaret herself said, she isn't confirming anything that isn't already written in her books. She couldn't even confirm Adam's hair color and made a joke out of it.) The only exception is Noah Czerny, whose surname is Slavic (probably Czech), but this bares no effect on his character.

The Dream Pack are the whole communities babies, created by head-canons and fanons, their relations with Kavinsky and themselves are explored, who they are as people, their appearance, their interests... This is beautiful how many different versions and interpretations of non-existing characters is there. (I, myself also made a version for a rewrite, based partly on the fanon.)

But at the end of the day, the fans did the author's job of creating believe friend group and in the end, their only function was to show, Kavinsky is a king, just like Gansey.

#joseph kavinsky #the dream pack #anti maggie stiefvater #anti raven cycle #anti trc

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astudyinfreewill · 4 years

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tbh i get queer fans being mad/sad about kavinsky being killed off in that yeah, bury your guys can always be upsetting no matter the character. but it's weird to me when people go the 'he didn't DESERVE it blah blah' route because like, that has nothing to do with the trope. like i agree with queer characters always getting killed off being exhausting, but i don't get people going hard for this particular character lmao

hmm i… sort of agree. i guess i can understand fans being sad about kavinsky being killed off if they empathise with him, even though personally i just… can’t imagine relating to a character like that. but i honestly, genuinely don’t believe he’s an example of Bury Your Gays. it would be BYG if kavinsky was the only queer rep in the books, or even he killed himself specifically for being gay… which, no matter what people argue, he didn’t. but rather than give my opinion on it, i’m gonna take this chance to go through the trope systematically and explain why the shoe doesn’t fit. it’s meta time!

Why Kavinsky Dying is Not “Bury Your Gays”

[All quotes are taken directly from TvTropes, though the emphasis is mine.]

The Bury Your Gays trope in media, including all its variants, is a homophobic cliché. It is the presentation of deaths of LGBT characters where these characters are nominally able to be viewed as more expendable than their heteronormative counterparts. In this way, the death is treated as exceptional in its circumstances. In aggregate, queer characters are more likely to die than straight characters. Indeed, it may be because they seem to have less purpose compared to straight characters, or that the supposed natural conclusion of their story is an early death.

Kavinsky is never viewed as “more expendable than his heteronormative counterparts”. If you see Kavinsky as simply Ronan’s foil, then the reasoning doesn’t apply, because Ronan is gay himself, so he can’t be a “heteronormative counterpart”. However, Kavinsky apologists like to latch on to Gansey’s “We matter” quote to prove Kavinsky is treated as unimportant – but that’s a fallacy for several reasons. First, you’re taking Gansey to speak for the author, or for objective truth, when Gansey is one of the most unreliable narrators in the book, and his world view is extremely biased. Secondly, Gansey isn’t Kavinsky’s counterpart. Kavinsky is an antagonist, so you have to look at what happens to the other antagonists – his actual heteronormative counterparts. And, well: they pretty much ALL get killed off. Not just that, but they often get killed off in a way that does not have the emotional/narrative impact implied in Kavinsky’s death. By that reckoning, he gets the better shake. Additionally, we get 4 heteronormative villains killed off - Whelk, Neeve, Colin, and Piper. So in the series, queer characters are not more likely to die than straight characters (even among the protagonists, Gansey and Noah are the ones who “die”, where Ronan and Adam do not).

The reasons for this trope have evolved somewhat over the years. For a good while, it was because the Depraved Homosexual trope and its ilk pretty much limited portrayals of explicitly gay characters to villainous characters, or at least characters who weren’t given much respect by the narrative. This, conversely, meant that most of them would either die or be punished by the end.

This is not applicable to TRC, as portrayals of explicitly queer characters are not limited to villainous characters; Adam and Ronan are both explicitly queer and they are treated with huge amounts of respect by the narrative. So Kavinsky isn’t being killed for being the odd one out/the Token Evil Queer; plus, there are other reasons why he doesn’t fit the Depraved Homosexual trope (while sexual molestation is a part of this trope, TVTropes encourages you to “think of whether he’d be any different if he wasn’t gay” – and Kavinsky wouldn’t. Not only because DHs are usually extremely camp while Kavinsky’s mannerisms aren’t particularly queer-coded, but also because he is not shown to have any more respect for women than he does for men, and his abuse would look the same if he was straight).

However, as sensitivity to gay people became more mainstream, this evolved into a sort of Rule-Abiding Rebel “love the sinner, hate the sin” attitude. You could have sympathetic queer characters, but they would still usually be “punished” for their queerness in some way so as to not anger more homophobic audiences, similar to how one might write a sympathetic drug addict but still show their addiction in a poor light.

Again: Neither Ronan nor Adam – the two sympathetic queer characters – are punished for being queer, hence subverting this form of the trope.

This then transitioned into the Too Good for This Sinful Earth narrative, where stories would tackle the subject of homophobia and then depict LGBT characters as suffering victims who die tragic deaths from an uncaring world. The AIDS crisis also contributed to this narrative, as the Tragic AIDS Story became its own archetype, popularized by films like Philadelphia.

Okay, this is DEFINITELY not Kavinsky’s case. Kavinsky’s death isn’t specifically connected to being gay (e.g.: a hate crime or an STD), and he’s never depicted as some innocent suffering victim. As for the “uncaring world”… eh. Kavinsky may not have a valid support system, but that’s just as much by choice as by chance - and when Ronan extends a helping hand and tries to save him, Kavinsky rejects it. Too Good For This Sinful Earth is definitely not in play.

The only trope that kind of fits the bill is Gayngst-Induced Suicide… but only on the surface. As TVTrope puts it, Gayngst-Induced Suicide is “when LGBT characters are Driven to Suicide because of their sexuality, either because of internalized homophobia (hating themselves) or experiencing a miserable life because of their “deviant” gender or sexuality: having to hide who they are, not finding a stable relationship, homophobia from other parties, etc.”. Kavinsky certainly has quite a bit of internalized homophobia, but he is absolutely not experiencing a miserable life because of his sexuality – i.e. he’s not being bullied or taunted or subejcted to hate crimes. He doesn’t have to hide who he is: his parents are effectively out of the picture, his cronies worship him, and he constantly makes gay jokes to Ronan and Gansey. As for “not finding a stable relationship”… well that’s not exactly the problem, is it. He’s not looking for a stable relationship – he’s pursuing Ronan specifically, obsessively, through stalking and abuse. So even this trope is not applicable.

And then there are the cases of But Not Too Gay or the Bait-and-Switch Lesbians, where creators manage to get the romance going but quickly avoid showing it in detail by killing off one of the relevant characters.

Once again this is not the case with Kavinsky, as 1) there was no romance going between him and Ronan, and 2) he is not killed off before the nature of his obsession with Ronan is revealed – he gets the chance to both admit (sort of) he wants Ronan, and to confront Ronan about his sexuality, to which Ronan admits that yes, he is gay, but he is not interested in Kavinsky. So, there is no But Not Too Gay nor any Bait-and-Switch here.

Also known as Dead Lesbian Syndrome, though that name has largely fallen out of use post-2015 and the media riots about overuse of the trope. And, as this public outcry restated, the problem isn’t merely that gay characters are killed off: the problem is the tendency that gay characters are killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters, or when the characters are killed off because they are gay.

This is a very good definition of the trope and why it doesn’t apply to Kavinsky: he’s not killed off because he’s gay, and he’s not killed off in a story full of mostly straight characters; TRC is definitely not overwhelmingly diverse, but 2 of the 4 protagonists are queer, giving us a solid 50% ratio (I’m not counting Noah because his “character” status is vague, and I’m not counting Henry because he came in so late, and also because his sexuality is the matter of much speculation).

For a comparison that will make it even clearer: take a show like Supernatural. Supernatural’s range of characters is almost entirely presented as straight white cis men (as of canon – despite much of the fandom’s hopes and speculation). They’ve had problems with diversity in general, with a lot of black characters dying immediately, and a lot of women getting fridged for plot advancement or male angst (a different problematic trope altogether). Now, apart from minor inconsequential cameos, Supernatural had ONE recurring gay character: Charlie Bradbury. And they killed her off for no discernible reason other than plot advancement and male angst, in a context that had elements of Too Good For This Sinful Earth (Charlie being a fan-favourite, ~pure cinnamon roll~, being killed by actual nazis, who historically targeted gay people). See, THAT was Bury Your Gays, AND Dead Lesbian Syndrome, AND Fridging…

However, sometimes gay characters die in fiction because, well, sometimes people die. There are many Anyone Can Die stories: barring explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight deaths in these, it’s not odd that the gay characters are dying. The occasional death of one in a Cast Full of Gay is unlikely to be notable, either.

…But that is not the case with TRC. As I’ve said above, there are no explicit differences in the treatments of the gay and straight villain deaths. Kavinsky’s death is not Bury Your Gays; it’s Anyone Can Die – even a protagonist’s foil who has magic powers and is present for most of the book.

Believe me, I would not be cavalier about this. As you rightly said, queer characters always getting killed off is exhausting, and as a bi woman myself, I am deeply affected by instances of Bury Your Gays. When Supernatural killed off Charlie, I wrote a novel-length fix-it fic and basically stopped watching the show – a show I had been following, flaws and all, for 10 years. I don’t take it lightly. But Kavinsky’s death isn’t Bury Your Gays, nor is it homophobia. Sometimes, a character death is just a character death.

#anonymous #answer #meta #trc #trc meta #tropes #joseph kavinsky #mp #my meta

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crystalrequiem · 5 years

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The Voice that Urged Orpheus

[Part 4/8(?)] [TRC] Summary: Fai gets lost in thought and Kurogane asks him to share. Mistake. He has no idea what to do with all these feelings. Tags: Kuro/Fai, Canon Universe, Post-Canon, Warnings: suggestive thoughts (nothing graphic), depression, dealing with trauma, so much fluff, Is it still slow-burn if they’re already in a relationship? because that’s basically what this is.

[Part 1] ... [Part 3]... [Part 5]

Hello again! Warning this chapter for Fai’s head messing with him, I guess. To think, I thought I’d somehow get through this world in just two chapters.... >_> i figure if we’re lucky we’ve got 1-2 more in Chizeta. I LIVE for your comments and tags, ya’ll. Thanks so much for all the love!

Caldina had advised they might find lodging with the Academy if Fai didn’t mind hosting a few lectures. He couldn’t tell how Fai felt about the suggestion, but with currency uncertain and little else to go on, it certainly sounded like a good deal. Of course, Kurogane figured they might have trouble given no one in their group could read anything in the local language, and he had no idea what bargaining for living space might entail…. He needn’t have bothered.

The Academy nearly bends over backwards to host their group. The instant someone spots them meandering into the library, they start begging Fai to demonstrate his enchantment on the cloak and everything snowballs from there. Before he knows what’s what, Fai has some sort of visiting scholar position and they’ve been put up in academic housing. The administration kindly arranges for them to take two bedrooms and a central living area—a complete if compact apartment. Honestly, much, much nicer than Kurogane could have hoped when they landed in the desert this morning.

Thick earthen walls cut the heat and will likely insulate against the chill of night. Intricately detailed window screens invite a lattice of rosy light into the room while the sun finishes setting. Soft, pillowy seating spaces and ceilings peppered with tiny glowing baubles he assumes must be magic. No food or place for groceries, but the school keeps a communal eating area and they’ve already discovered that no one has any compunctions about sharing.

Their rag-tag traveling family trails in to their borrowed room, tired by a long day spent touring the grounds and staring at all manner of spell work. Kurogane locks the sturdy, elaborately carved door behind himself as he steps through, feeling surreal and off-balance.

“—and did you see what they were doing with the gravity manipulation? I didn’t completely understand how it works, but it looked like they were making something like the flying carts from piffle!” He has no idea what to do with all this magic, or why he should care, but Syaoran takes to the academy like a duck to water. For as many differences between them, the kid and his double both share the same love of learning… He chatters to everyone who will listen at a mile a minute. They’ve barely scratched the surface of the library and labs today, but ideas seem to fill his every thought.

Something twists painfully in in Kurogane’s chest to watch him so excited—this sort of place is where someone like Syaoran belongs, if he wants. Not an endless, thankless journey through dimensions. The fact that they can come here probably means a lot to the kid, but he wishes they could do more. He wishes the first Syaoran could have made it here to see it. He just—

Needs to stop thinking about it like this. They’re doing what they can. Maybe if they make enough memories here, Mokona can find a way to return someday.

Eventually, Syaoran has to pause his latest stream of thought to yawn, and Fai steps in and suggests they all get some early rest.

“We have even more to do tomorrow, and you have plenty of lectures to look forward to.” The Kid and pork-bun bend to the logic of Fai’s argument with no complaints, already bleary-eyed as they wander away to investigate their own room with a quiet chorus of “good night.” Kurogane watches after them and distantly wonders whether he should have checked the place for traps before letting anyone get comfortable. He’s going too soft.

“Sheesh.” Fai flops bonelessly onto what he can only assume is some sort of lounge, his cloak fluttering as he drops.

“You’re not overdoing it, showing off all those spells, are you?” He tries to cast his worry in the form of a jab, but has a feeling Fai sees right through him when the mage just laughs. Blond hair twines over pale skin as Fai pushes a few whisping strands away from his only slightly burnt face and starts undoing the ribbon there.

“Not hardly. But the heat is a cruel and the days are long.” Something old and sad echoes in the way he looks away, the distant gaze and the slow fall of his arm, ribbon held tight. It’s lingered like a cloud around him since they arrived, ebbing and flowing amidst the excitement of the Academy.

Kurogane pulls his own, still-cool cloak off and tosses it right over his idiot’s head. “Hey!”

“I can hear you thinking too hard from here,” he grouches, sidling across the room to fit himself into the space at the end of the lounge. Fai struggles feebly to free himself from the fabric for all of a second or two before giving up. He stills and curls inward, adopting the cloak as another masking layer.

“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?” Muffled by fabric, his voice sounds more fragile than it should. …Maybe he’s pushing where he shouldn’t.

“Of course not. Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one? You’d think you’d learn better by now.” He tries to lead them back into the game and safer waters, but his lover doesn’t seem interested in following. Kurogane waits a beat for another silly quip, but Fai only grants him a muffled hum of agreement.

His brow furrows, worry multiplying. The longer the silence stretches, the less certain he feels. He tries to be patient, but the light streaming in from the screen begins shifting from sunset red to pale moon white all too quickly. The sounds of the world outside take on a hushed tone. Eventually he can’t take the quiet any more. Kurogane tuts with frustration. Reaching out for the lump of Fai buried in fabric, he pulls his cloak back and tosses it on the floor. The move leaves Fai’s hair a mess of static and fine strands.

“…I was using that,” the mage mumbles, gaze pinned to the ground. Kurogane doesn’t understand how one person can be so frustrating and so easy to love at the same damn time. He leans a little closer—lets his hand rest on Fai’s shoulder blade, tentative.

“Mage…”

“Oh, Alright Kuro-nosy!” The magician laughs even as he extols his annoyance. Beneath Kurogane’s fingers, tension slowly bleeds away until he leans into the touch. “But I warn you, it’s stupid. It hardly even matters. Just—nostalgia? Or—that’s the wrong word.”

It always matters, if it’s you, Kurogane thinks, but can’t bring himself to say. His inner monologue manages to distill that sappy mess down to a simpler, “If it bothers you, it matters,” and the phrase leaves him easily before he can dwell too long. Fai smiles—that old, bittersweet grin. Another fracture ripples through the surface of his heart at the sight.

“It’s so strange, being here, you know? I’ve studied magic before obviously, but—I’ve never seen anywhere like this.

“Free food and community and using magic to help each other—it’s… I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop—for something horrible about this world to come to light just to make it make sense.” Well, he can relate to that. He doesn’t see how it has anything to do with nostalgia though—

“Things have been too easy here,” he agrees. He takes a second look at the delicate window screens, noting how easily they might be kicked in. Do the kids have one in their room? Should they all bunk in the living area to stay in one place? He figured he was just paranoid, but if Fai feels it too— “Should we set up a watch, do you think?”

The mage blinks at him from his side in open confusion before his words fully register. Fai laughs, quiet and fond and at what, Kurogane has no idea but he welcomes the sound.

“Sorry! That’s not what I meant. I’m not explaining it right. This world seems fine, honestly. That’s part of what bothers me.”

“I don’t think I get it.” He frowns, trying to tune his alert instincts back down. Fussing with Fai’s mussed hair helps. He combs through it with his fingers and Fai seems content enough to let him, leaning towards his hand with every pass. Their positions shift until they sit pressed close at the thigh, side by side. Fai’s eyes slip closed and Kurogane watches the tiny shifts in his expression as he decides to try explaining again.

“There was a royal college of magic in Valeria. I can’t remember the specifics or how it worked but I do remember… we used to pretend we would go there and learn one day when we grew up.”

Oh. Nostalgia, he’d said, and Kurogane hadn’t managed to piece it together. He sees it now—the barest corner of what pains Fai, and protective worry stirs in him like a beast pacing at the bars. “Obviously, it never would have happened, but it gave us something to hope for—made us excited about something. We stole books from the library and taught each other whatever we could… Stupid, in the end. It only made things worse for us when the sovereign found out.”

“Fai…”

“Then in Celes, there was a Wizard’s guild, but I learned mostly from Ashura-ou and his library. And that was… good. I thought. But it wasn’t really, was it? I was just fooling myself. What happened… happened. Any memories I made were poisoned by the idea that he only ever meant to use me as a method of suicide, and I just keep thinking—I don’t know.

“This place is too perfect—it’s too… kind.”

Kurogane’s combing stills as he listens. He cradles the back of Fai’s neck instead, palm of his hand pressed to nape, as he tries to put his thoughts back to rights. He’s never been described as overly-empathetic, but the shadow of Fai’s hurt echoes in him all the same, sitting like a stone at the pit of his stomach. He wants more than anything to help ease its burden. He wishes he had some idea of how.

“Sorry. I told you it was stupid.”

“It isn’t,” he insists, but Fai’s self-derision is a stubborn foe. He huffs with frustration—he just wants Fai to know, somehow that this matters… that he matters. “The Manjuu might need one more day to recharge, but we can dodge at the first possibility. If this place bothers you, we can find something else.”

“No, It’s fine. Syaoran loves it here, and I’ll get over it, I’m just…. Memories are…” He casts a hand through the air, fluttering, as if that will describe it. It does, sort of, make a little sense. Kurogane sighs and leans forward far enough to press his brow to Fai’s.

To think. Not so long ago that Fai would never have been able to explain such a thing—wouldn’t have felt comfortable saying a word of it. They’ve built something better—stronger for all they’ve been through together and Kurogane longs to express that. Just—soon. Maybe not now. Not when he knows there’s already a lot going on in the mage’s head.

Fai leans in those last few inches and plies a soft kiss at the corner of Kurogane’s mouth before retreating. He wants to chase the sensation, but the look on Fai’s face stops him. “You, this place… I keep waiting for someone to tell me it’s all been a dream. It’s hard to believe something this nice exists—that I can have it without ruining it.” He can’t tell whether Fai means the world of the Academy, or what they have together. He doesn’t think Fai knows either.

“Hey—” he starts, utterly unsure of how to continue. Fai meets him with shaky breath and a wry smile.

“People like me don’t deserve nice things, Kuro-sama.” The mage says with utter certainty, no trace of doubt in his mind, and it kills Kurogane to hear.

He wants to be angry—to shout Fai’s ridiculous ideas of his own worth away, but he’s tried that. It won’t do anything in the end. He holds tighter instead, slides his hand just a little higher to cradle Fai’s thick skull. He wants to fix it—prove him wrong—give him worlds and worlds full of beauty just to show him.

You’re wrong, he wants to say, but he knows his idiot won’t listen. “I don’t care what you deserve,” he says instead. They’re close enough that he can feel Fai’s breath when the mage laughs this time, sad and tired.

“I know.”

Somehow those exhausted words in the dark feel like the start of a victory.

#TRC #tsubasa reservoir chronicle #Kurogane #Kurofai #Fanfic

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yutark · 6 years

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basics –

legal name nakamoto, yuta name meaning his parents named him yuta at birth, wanting him to have a bright future ahead of him. 悠 meaning eternal/permanence, 太 meaning large/grow rich -- his name meaning permanent riches or eternal growth. nickname yu-chan, takoyaki prince reason for nickname yu-chan is a nickname given by his friends back in japan and sometimes used by his older sister. it’s his name shortened, and with an endearing honorific attached to the end. takoyaki prince is a nickname that some friends in korea use, johnny uses this nickname. it’s due to being born in osaka, where takoyaki was popularised.

date of birth october 28, 1996 age ( international ) 22 years old place of birth osaka, japan hometown tokyo, japan current residence seoul, south korea places lived:

osaka, japan ↔ tokyo, japan ( between, for 5 years )

tokyo, japan ( 13 years )

seoul, south korea ( 4 years )

ethnicity japanese nationality japanese languages spoken japanese ( fluent ), english ( fluent ), korean ( near-fluent ), mandarin ( conversational )

orientations –

gender cisgender ( he / him )

sexuality homoflexible if queer, who are they out to? -- his sister has known since he was in early adolescences, his father since he was sixteen years old. yuta doesn’t hide his sexuality from anyone, but he doesn’t see a reason to “come out”. some people will assume he’s heterosexual, but most people find out through learning of his relationships or by accidentally walking in on him. how do they feel about their sexuality? -- confident/apethetic/insecure

sexual experience -- none/semi-experienced/experienced

story of their first kiss -- he doesn’t remember his first kiss. it was early on in his adolescence, likely with another boy during a time of experimentation. they’ve all blurred together, not meaning anything to yuta now. how do they feel about the story of how they lost it? -- he doesn’t think it matters if he’s honest. he’s kissed far too many people since then.

story of their first time -- he was around sixteen, it was horrible. he and a friend from his soccer team were a little bit drunk after a party, he’d dragged them back back to his room to make out and things progressed further. neither of them knew what they were doing and more than anything, it was painful. the memory itself still makes him cringe when he thinks about it. how do they feel about the story of how they lost it? -- once again, he doesn’t care much about it. it taught him the benefits of sexual education. status in a relationship

kinks scratching, biting, exhibitionism/voyeurism, bondage (list of unknown etcs.)

sexual transgressions slept with boys who had girlfriends in high school, flirts with others despite being in a relation

religious identity atheist

family –

immediate:

mother ( tsukuda yuko, 47, actress ) ( yuta and his mother are seen as being alike, sharing personality traits and beliefs. but the last time they spoke was months ago, and it’d nearly been a year between. throughout his childhood, yuta felt like his mother was a curse on him more than good. he sees her as selfish and lacking maternal instincts. they don’t see eye to eye on what his dream is, she’s always wanted him to be an actor. now, yuta knows his mother has been cheating on his father for years and he’s struggled to come to terms with it. )

father ( nakamoto osamu, 62, business owner ) ( yuta’s relationship with his father is strained. while his father placed every hope in him taking over the company once he was older, yuta’s done everything to rebel against it. they didn’t speak for three years after his father suggested he’d pay for yuta to go to university if he decided to not be gay, and only in the past year have they begun to mend the bridge between them. it’s still difficult for yuta to accept his father has really changed. )

older sister ( nakamoto miu, stay-at-home mother ) ( the one person in yuta’s family that he believes loves him unconditionally. they’re close for siblings, despite how much they bicker and disagree. she’s the person who always gave him advice and helped him through the rough patches. there was some difficulties when she decided to get married and move to south korea, but after living with her for three years, they’re still very much two peas in a pod. )

brother in law ( bae hyunjin, doctor ) ( when they were first introduced, yuta disliked him. hyunjin was stealing his sister away and yuta struggled with it. yuta lived under his roof for three years after running away from home, and they get along well enough. cordial. but they’re not the closest of brother in laws. )

niece ( bae eunmi, 2, being adorable ) ( the apple of yuta’s eye, eunmi can do no wrong. she is the best thing to come of yuta’s sister getting married and he would do anything to take care of her. he helped babysit and raise her while he lived with his sister, but since being signed, he misses being an uncle more than he does a brother. )

sister in law ( bae suji, 23, occupation ) ( suji and yuta are more civil with one another now. but when they first met, they did not get along. he antagonised her as much as he could and they fought constantly throughout the time knowing one another. although they are slowly beginning to get along, there’s still a tentativeness to their relationship. yuta is beginning to respect her more and more as time goes on. )

relationships –

friends

best friend ( im jaebum, 22, trc trainee )

best friend ( johnny seo, 19, kt trainee )

best friend ( chittaphon ‘ten’ leechaiyapornkul, 20, sphere trainee )

friend ( nam joohyuk, 22, nail technician )

friend / flirtation ( koo junhoe, 20, university student

friend / dongsaeng ( choi youngjae, 20, university student )

dongsaeng ( lee donghyuck, 17, high school student )

dongsaeng ( na jaemin, 17, high school student )

dongsaeng ( mark lee, 15, high school student )

dongsaeng ( wong yukhei, 18, high school student )

high school friend ( yoshida takeru, 22, university student. )

high school friend ( murakami satoru, 23, trainee chef. )

high school friend ( sato yoichi, 22, photographer. )

non-platonic

boyfriend ( lee taeyong, 22, sphere trainee )

ex-something ( chae hyungwon, 21, trc trainee )

other

arcade rival ( kim donghyun, 17, high school student )

former student ( lee luda, 20, student/part time librarian )

fellow trainee / noona ( kim sowon, 23, trc trainee )

fellow trainee / hyung ( lee jongsuk, 23, trc trainee )

fellow trainee / dongsaeng ( lee seokmin, 20, trc trainee )

appearance –

height ( 176 cm ) weight ( 60 kg ) build slender, toned

disorders n / a other health issues n / a

face shape oval complexion clear eye color brown glasses/contacts? no hair color ( natural, now ) usual hairstyle ( messy, rolled out of bed look )

piercing(s) ( three in left lobe, two in right lobe; two right helix; right inner conch) tattoo(s) ( n / a )

scar(s) ( one fading in eyebrow, nondescript ones down his arms and legs. ) distinguishing features ( cupids bow, small waist, big cute eyes )

style of dress ( 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06 ) grooming habits ( showers multiple times a day, never blow dries hair, sometimes does it up, skin care routine, uses make up at times )

style of speech ( hasty, energetic, stammering, loud ) accent ( there’s likely a tiny accent between his japanese and korean, but he does speak in a fraction higher tone in his japanese than he does his korean. his english has a noted american accent in there. ) most used phrases ( soju is as cheap as water )

education –

elementary school ( nishimachi international school, tokyo, japan ) middle school ( azabu junior high school, tokyo, japan ) high school ( azabu senior high school, tokyo, japan ) university ( n / a )

current level of education ( high school ) current level of degree ( n / a ) program/major ( n / a )

strengths english, japanese, skipping class weaknesses math, science, social studies, attendance favorite subject ( physical education. ) least favorite subject ( maths )

work history –

current occupation ( trainee, triple crown entertainment, 11 months / dance teacher, friends studio, 8 months ) past occupations:

( cashier, convenience store, 3 months )

( kitchen hand, restaurant, 1 month )

( waiter, restaurant, 2 months )

( barista, cafe, 3 months )

( clerk, book shop, 2 weeks )

( dance teacher, studio for kids, 5 months )

( production runner, film company, 4 months )

( english and japanese tutor, self employed, 8 months )

internships ( translation, consultant company ) volunteer work ( n / a )

attitude toward work ( if he likes it, he’ll happily work at it. if he hates it, he’ll just figure out ways to get fired. ) attitude toward co-workers ( making friends with co-workers makes it easier to enjoy work, so he tends to be friendly with them ) attitude toward boss ( nearly always thinks he can do their job better than they can )

social media –

twitter n / a instagram @.yu_n ( public ) youtube yu.n there’s lots of dance covers, from ones filmed in the dance studio, to ones that are from competitions and performances. a handful of vocal covers, a mixture of rap and vocal, but mostly learning towards rap in the past year. other ( n / a )

tinder profile ( n / a )

he has a high presence but low level of actual posting his own content. it’s a way for him to keep track of his friends back in japan and follow trends and talk to people he doesn’t get to see often. there’s far too many selfies and random images with lyrics on them. although never explicitly saying anything, he hints towards much of his private life in there.

personality –

sun sign ( scorpio ) moon sign ( taurus ) chinese zodiac ( rat ) blood type ( a ) temperament ( sanguine ) moral alignment ( true neutral ) mbti ( estp-t ) hogwarts house ( gryffindor )

top virtues diligence top sins lust, pride, wrath, gluttony

likes soccer, manga, coffee, alcohol, manga dislikes rules, spinach, cleaning, losing, spicy food

materials –

financial status high social status upper/middle

phone ( iphone x ) laptop ( asus rog g703gi ) car ( n / a )

skills –

specialty ( dance, charisma ) neutral ( rap ) weakness ( singing, creativity ) current points ( link )

dream company ( trc ent. ) current company ( trc ent. ) trainee since (17.06.09 ) signed via ( triple threat challenge ) current achievements ( link )

voice claim ( n / a ) dance claim ( koosung jung ) rap claim ( mixture of, sik-k, ph-1, dpr live )

released music ( n / a )

quirks –

immediate goals ( to debut, take boyfriend to japan for a trip ) long term goals ( to perform in japan, to choreograph a stage performance, to prove that he can do things himself ) top five things on their bucket list learn to scuba dive, do colour run, kick a goal in professional soccer match, own a pet dog, fly in a private jet

phobias snakes, heights fears becoming his mother, ending up alone most ashamed of ( how many people he’s hurt without knowing ) least favorite quality about self ( his selfishness, it reminds him of his mother and he does not want to be like her at all. )

obsessions n / a compulsions n / a one thing they would want to change about their life ( the first time he broke up with taeyong ) one thing they would want to change about their appearance ( his height )

past crimes committed ( minor steal, some breaking and entering, taking drugs, underage drinking -- nothing he’s been arrested for ) smoker? sometimes drinker? far too much use(d) drugs? yes cusser? all the time

guilty pleasure(s) romantic movies, some cute gg music special skills soccer tricks, foam art, kendo, video games most proud of ( getting signed to trc ) favorite quality about self ( being able to not care what people think ) passions dancing, soccer, having fun

facial habits ( biting and licking lip, crinkling his nose ) other habits ( shrugging, rubbing neck, messing up hair, shifting weight )

happiest memory ( the first time his niece said his name ) traumas ( two car accidents, being bullied in school, his father ignoring him, walking in on his mother cheating, seeing his mother in a sex scene as a child )

wants ( to have a home ) needs ( physical affection and contact ) motivators ( to prove himself right and others wrong ) biggest secret ( that sometimes he acts reckless to hurt himself ) insecurities ( his lack of knowledge and how stupid he can sound sometimes )

what do they think about often?

( very little besides what he’s going to do next. sometimes he thinks about his family, or his boyfriend or his friends. but generally he’s just focusing his energy on the next step ahead and what he’s going to have to eat. )

what makes them most uncomfortable?

( talking about feelings is extremely uncomfortable for yuta. he doesn’t like crying at all, and he nearly always refuses to explain to anyone what hurts or makes him upset. but he’s the same when someone talks about how they feel to him, he doesn’t know what to do to comfort them at all. )

what makes them feel most safe?

( sleeping next to someone, especially his boyfriend. there’s something that is comforting about a warm body next to his own and listening to someone breathe. )

what do they avoid at all costs?

( dealing with his parents alone or without alcohol in his system, the last thing yuta wants to listen to is his mother trying to push him towards being an actor, or his fathers worry over him being gay. )

what do they lie about?

( yuta is more bravado than confidence, he’s learned to build up his tolerance and hide behind constant compliments and over-exaggeration of his greatness. he knows he’s not as good as he says, but he will hold onto it like he does. )

what makes them most nostalgic?

( speaking japanese has to be one of the things that makes yuta feel most nostalgic. even if its only been 4 years, in the last one as a trainee, he’s only returned home once and most of the people around him don’t speak the language. he misses how easy talking can be. )

do they believe in soulmates?

( no, yuta doesn’t believe in soulmates at all. he barely believes in love. it’s something he thinks people only end up hurting themselves with. no one has a soulmate, everyone who finds someone is lucky and has to work at it, not rely on fate. )

details –

night or morning person. light or heavy sleeper. left or right handed. acting on more logic or emotions. left or right brained. optimistic or pessimistic. tea or coffee. cats or dogs. open or close minded. shower or bath. pancakes or waffles. clean or messy. workaholic or lazy. lover or a fighter.

least/favorite movie? the notebook / battle royal least/favorite song? favorite artist? n / a favorite book? one’s more pictures than words favorite show? kamen rider least/favorite food? spicy noodles / okonomiyaki favorite color? red least/favorite season? winter / summer

contents of their fridge? lots of soju and beer, left overs from take out, various meats, and whatever jaehyun has in there contents of their night stand? scribbled notes for lyrics, phone charger, condoms, ticket stubs and receipts (usually from things connected to his boyfriend), yaoi manga contents of their garbage can? empty take out containers, fruit that went off, beer cans contents of their pockets? keys, wallet, phone, headphones, sweet wrappers, the matching ring with his boyfriends typical friday night? getting drunk, playing video games or watching movies with friends typical sunday morning? sleeping in, messaging his boyfriend, avoiding cooking his own breakfast if he can, shower pet peeves? not covering mouth when cough, standing in front of door on public transport, eating food of his plate, line cutting

#( 生兵法は大怪我のもと. )#( okay im sure i missed friends or something around #and i would describe them but this took me hours kshdksj #maybe one day i will come back and add them

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sophygurl · 6 years

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300 Fox Way

There needs to be so much more content in the TRC fandom about 300 Fox Way okay. I get it’s a YA novel so mostly it’s young adults reading it and connecting to the YA characters, but my 40-something self needs to talk about these adult women and the family they’ve created like.

Gimmie more headcanons and ficlets and stuff about what these ladies were like when they first met and were bonding, and running around Henrietta dabbling in magical rituals and waking tree-spirits and falling in love and deciding to live together and start a psychic business and finding out Maura’s pregnant and how they all became mom-figures to Blue as she grew up and how and when Maura’s bio-sisters and half-sisters started coming to live with them and what it was like when Orla and Blue were little and growing up together and how it all worked and what it felt like from all of these women’s perspectives.

Including, like, how many aunts and half-aunts and cousins and such does Blue actually have? She talked a few times about there being lots, but we really only get to know Jimi and Orla, and Neeve. Jimi is apparently a full-aunt while Neeve is a half-aunt and it seems not related to Jimi.

So what are the family details on that - did Jimi and Maura’s parents get divorced? Or were they never married? Or was it Neeve and Maura’s folks who were initially together? Did one parent have an affair? How did this all come about? Maura says at one point that she didn’t really know Neeve until they were older, so it seems they were not raised together; were Maura and Jimi raised together? What were their childhoods like? Why did Maura leave home so young and when did Jimi come to live with her? Before or after Orla was born? And who was Orla’s father? Why is he not in the picture?

At some point Blue talks about Jimi’s “sister or cousin or friend” being over to the house with a bunch of little cousins. Who was this person? Were they a regular feature in the life at 300 Fox Way? What about other women who were around a lot but didn’t live there? Were there other women who moved in and out of the house like Neeve, and later Gwenllian, did? Did these women just kinda scoop up orphan magical ladies and make them part of the fam?

Were Calla and Perseophone still in touch with anyone from their families of origin? Did they get along with them? What were their reasons for leaving home?

Also, apparently Calla and Jimi share a room?! Are they close friends, lovers, or do they just sort of grumpily (on Calla’s part anyway) share space in a crowded house? A lot of people headcanon Calla as a lesbian, which I totally buy. Are any of the other women queer?

Especially give me more Persephone since she’s gone now. Will she come back to them in spirit form from time to time? I believe there was something in the books about how they never knew her actual age, and also lots of stuff about how mysterious she always was about herself. Like, no one asked her questions about herself because they never got straight answers anyway. So give me all your Persephone headcanons!

And what about Gwenllian? How long does she stay with the women at 300 Fox Way? Does she become a permanent feature?

Orla was the foil to Blue in many ways, including that Blue was going to leave home and Orla was very much settled in Henrietta for good. As she gets older, will Orla set out and form her own found family? Will she stay at 300 Fox Way and have her own daughters to add to the mix? Will she marry some boy and have a family of her own? (Somehow that last one seems unlikely - I picture Orla maybe having a series of passionate affairs, possibly having a child or two, but not really settling down with anyone)

How often does Blue come back to visit? Do Adam and Ronan stop by to hang with the ladies once the rest of the Gangsey is off adventuring together? Do the women of 300 Fox Way continue to mentor these guys?

Does Maura ever see the Gray Man again? I suppose so since he’s still working in the area, although he’s obviously going to try and keep Maura and the rest of them safe from his business now. Does he ever get things stabilized enough to feel safe and able to be domestically happy with Maura? Does Maura just decide eff this I love him I don’t care how dangerous it is? (seems likely to me?)

Does the Gray Man keep in touch with Blue? Maybe they send one another postcards or occasionally text each other with jokes that they know only the other will get. He checks in with her sometimes to make sure she’s okay, she’ll call him if all the lines are busy back at Fox Way to make sure everyone back home’s alright - that kinda thing.

What else? What else?! I just want so much more about these women! Fanart and headcanons and meta discussions galore! Tell me everything you think about them, please??

#300 fox way #the raven cycle #maura sargent #jimi sargent #orla sargent #calla johnson #persephone poldma #neeve mullen #blue sargent #the gray man #found family #women #female friendship #gangsey #gwenllian

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thebest-medicine · 7 years

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Problem Solving

submitted by Negligible!anon:

A/N: N shared some wonderful TRC headcanons earlier, which inspired me to write this… a fic based on completely unrelated headcanons. Anyways, this is how I think the Raven Boys discovered each other’s ticklishness. Warnings for book-related levels of (anticipated) violence.

***

Ronan

Ronan and Gansey have been friends for a couple months now, so Gansey’s been invited to the Barns once or twice. More importantly, he’s met the rest of Ronan’s family, including the charming and roguish Niall Lynch - Niall Lynch, who spends his nights dreaming wonderful horrors into existence and his days embarrassing his kids in front of their friends.

Gansey remembers the incident clearly, mostly because it’s such a stark contrast to Ronan after. Niall reminds Ronan to check on the cows before sundown. Ronan, pulling his Aglionby tie off and shoving it into his pocket, replies sure, I’ll check on Declan later, if he’s not too busy mooing at some girl on his phone. Niall laughs affably, reels him in with a friendly arm around the shoulder, and launches into a devastating tickle attack until Ronan apologizes amid peals of laughter. He’s still giggling as Niall claps him on the back and wanders off, telling the two of them to stay out of trouble.

Gansey tucks the thought that the most contact he’s had with his parents in years is a quick handshake very firmly into the back of his mind and gallantly offers an elbow to Ronan, who shoves him in the shoulder with another laugh and sets off for the barn.

Months later, the unthinkable happens.

Ronan comes to stay in Monmouth, and for two weeks it’s as if he’s doing his best to sink into his mattress and disappear. Seeing how miserable he is, Gansey’s almost inclined to let him. At the end of those two weeks, though, he pries open the door to Ronan’s room and goes in. He can’t just let things go on like this – Ronan’s grief is another problem to solve, and even if he doesn’t know how to do it he doesn’t know how to leave it be either.

His presence sets the entire room in motion; empty beer bottles rolling from where the door pushed them aside, the sound of his bare feet on the floor echoing with each step, light forcing through the doorway. Ronan, however, emanates stillness; he’s flung facedown on his mattress, an empty shell of that laughing boy at the Barns. “Get up, Lynch. We’re going for a drive.”

Ronan’s response is an emphatic middle finger, jabbed unerringly at Gansey’s unprotected ankle. Gansey sighs and uses his foot to prod at Ronan’s side. “Don’t argue,” he says, trying to wedge his toes under Ronan’s body – maybe he can flip him over? “it’ll be fun.”

A muffled sound emanates from the pile of lean limbs on the floor. Gansey’s brain, caught up in wondering how much Ronan weighs and how much of a fight he’ll put up if lifted into a fireman’s hold, belatedly registers it as a yelp.

Ronan rolls over before things go any further. “Fine,” he says, eyes still closed. “I’ll be ready in ten. Now get the hell out.” And that’s that.

Ronan gets better. But his laughter is unmistakably bitter now, and his smile is a hook designed specifically to draw in people as angry at Ronan as Ronan is at the world. Gansey still doesn’t know how to solve that, so he focuses on the smaller things. Getting Ronan to sleep. Convincing him to study for tests. Talking him down from fights.

And, every so often, he tries to get Ronan to smile. Usually under the guise of getting him to do things – “why don’t we compare Latin homework?” accompanied by a series of pokes to Ronan’s side to get his attention, and “don’t sleep on the couch, you’ll hurt your neck,” as he swipes a finger up Ronan’s sole. He never does it in a way that draws attention, never tries to provoke a stronger reaction than what he gets, and never when Ronan’s in one of his more dangerous moods. He’s afraid that if he crosses whatever ragged line he can infer from Ronan’s response, it’ll stop working. But for now, he’s usually rewarded with a squirm, an upward tick of Ronan’s mouth, and in his more optimistic moments he likes to think that it’s enough to remind Ronan that someone cares about him.

Adam

Adam’s been friends with Ronan and Gansey for almost a month when he figures it out.

He’s eating lunch with them on Aglionby grounds, under a lush tree that probably eats up more money in fertilizer and water than Adam spends on clothes in a year. It’s been a long morning in a longer week, and once again Ronan’s decided to say something that turns his dull anger into something sharp and sparking.

Luckily, Gansey’s around to play white knight. Eyebrows furrowed, he leans toward Ronan and says something too quiet for Adam to hear. And then – so fast he almost doesn’t notice – he nudges Ronan in the side.

He’s seen this before. A nudge. A flinch. The flicker of a smile on Ronan’s face, stealing the harshness of his stubbled head and harsh features away for a few precious moments. But here, with the dappled-green sunlight rendering the two boys across from him almost otherworldly, is the first time it really clicks in his head.

Ronan Lynch, pugnacious Aglionby student with no regard for grades or dress codes or other people’s feelings, is ticklish.

He doesn’t plan to do anything with that knowledge. Ronan would probably punch him, and even the thought of that is enough to dissuade him. But somehow, forces beyond his control compel him to do something stupid. As usual.

About a week later, they’re all stuffed into the Pig, headed off on one of Gansey’s day trips. Gansey, as always, is at the wheel. Ronan’s snagged the passenger seat, which leaves Adam and Noah in the back. Unfortunately, this gives Ronan control over the music, and he’s chosen to abuse his power by playing the murder squash song for the fifth time in a row.

Gansey’s already asked Ronan to play something else and drifted off to Glendower-land with a disappointed sigh when his request was refused. Noah’s been staring out the left side window since they left, sun and shadow swirling over the half of his face that Adam can see. So it’s just him, teeth gritting and blood pounding in his ears every time another scream blares over the speakers, and Ronan, arms curled up and around his headrest as he lounges.

He doesn’t want to start a fight for no reason, so he decides to ask Noah first, gently shaking his shoulder to get his attention. “Should I do something?”

Noah turns his head, inscrutable as ever. He eyes Ronan, then Adam, and grins unexpectedly. “Go for it. It’s been a while since Ronan laughed.”

Adam blinks. So Noah knows Ronan’s secret too? Huh.

His crusade justified, he returns to the task at hand. “Lynch. Lynch! Change the song, or I’m going to make you.”

From what he can see in the rearview mirror, Ronan doesn’t even bother to open his eyes. “Yeah, good fucking luck with that.”

Well. Adam shifts forward, takes a deep breath, and makes his move.

Exposed in his tank top, the hollows under Ronan’s arms make for a pretty good initial target. Especially when Ronan shouts, yanks his arms down, and starts laughing so hard that he’s wheezing for breath. There’s a terrifying moment where Gansey starts in surprise and almost swerves the Pig straight off the road, but Adam’s gone too far to stop now and when Gansey’s eyes catch his in the rearview mirror his expression is somewhere between shock and approval.

Ronan isthrashing, long legs hitting the dashboard as he tries to escape his seatbelt and Adam’s torturous fingers. He doesn’t beg – not that Adam expected him to – but the relatively tame curses leaking out amid his cackling are proof that he’s weakening.

“Change the song,” Adam says as firmly as he can through a smile so wide he can feel it stretching his face, “or I’m going to keep using you to drown it out.”

“Fine,” Ronan shouts. Adam pulls his hands away and grimacing, wipes them on his shirt. Ronan slumps back into his seat, reaching out to cut off the murder squash song mid-scream, and for a few moments the Pig is filled with blessed silence.

“Gansey, pull over.”

Gansey’s proud-parent smile disappears. “I’m not going to stop so you can threaten Adam for acting on behalf of the rest of us.”

“Pull over or I’m getting out of the car right now.” Ronan’s hands tighten on his seatbelt buckle and the door handle, and Adam suddenly can’t breathe. This was a mistake.

He wonders, abruptly, if he can shift any of the blame onto Noah for enabling him. But he knows better than anyone that nothing he says will matter here.

Gansey pulls to the shoulder of the road, warning, “Don’t do anything stupid, Ronan. I mean it. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

It’s not like that matters either, Adam thinks miserably, but at least he’s fairly sure that Gansey won’t let Ronan kill him.

Ronan stalks around the front of the car and knocks on Noah’s door. “We’re switching places, Czerny. Don’t play any of that weird pop music shit.”

Noah nods and calmly gets out. He smiles happily at Adam. Adam can’t bring himself to smile back.

Ronan’s gaze meets his for a single instant, and Adam closes his eyes.

Ronan thumps into the seat next to him. Fastens his seatbelt with a scowl. Leans back, eyes fixed firmly on the back of Gansey’s headrest. “You can start driving now. See, nothing stupid.”

“Thank you,” Gansey says, and the Pig sputters back to life. Adam couldn’t be closer to the door on his side if he was welded to it.

Five minutes later, Ronan uncrosses his arms. Adam watches in confusion as his hand comes closer. Ronan’s index finger moves to rest exactly where the seams of his shirt meet under his arm, and he’s too rattled to do anything but watch as Ronan prods at him repeatedly. A giggle escapes, half relief and half actual ticklishness, and as Ronan smirks he knows he’s screwed in an entirely different way than he first expected.

It takes twenty minutes until they reach their destination, and Adam’s breathless with laughter the entire time.

Gansey

It doesn’t change anything. They’re not less likely to snap at each other, they don’t try to tickle each other out of bad moods because neither of them have the kind of problems that a little laughter can cure.

But whenever Ronan’s half-hearted attempts to distract Adam or Gansey from homework get a little too out of hand, Adam doesn’t hesitate to grab whatever limb is nearest, haul Ronan into a rough approximation of a pin, and start wiggling his fingers into sensitive skin. And Ronan makes it a point to unceremoniously wreck him every single time in return, and a few more besides. At least Adam’s stopped looking at him like he’s going to start ripping throats out if anyone so much as pokes him the wrong way.

It’s on one of these occasions, Ronan looming over Adam on Monmouth’s dusty floor, that Adam gets curious. “Hey, wait – wahahait! I don’t understand – how come you never get Gansey back for tickling you?”

Ronan barely pauses, squeezing right below Adam’s ribs and grinning at the resulting yelp. “Gansey’s not ticklish, Parrish. Unfortunately for you.”

“H-how did you figure that out? What did he even say? ‘I appreciate your testing my nervous system, but you can’t possibly think I’m susceptible to your childish weaknesses?’”

It’s a good imitation of what Ronan likes to think of as Gansey’s Dick the Third accent, and it’s only when he tries to answer the question that he realizes he’s overlooked something. “Never actually tried it.”

“Wait, what? You got me back within, like, the first ten minutes.”

Ronan’s always figured that Gansey would never start a fight he could possibly lose. It’s never even crossed his mind that Gansey too could be reduced to a breathless, giggling heap like he and Adam (and Noah, sometimes, though half the time it’s like he’s not ticklish at all). But instead of saying that to Adam, he turns abruptly to Monmouth’s single couch, where Gansey has neatly arranged himself.

He’s on the phone with his sister, ankles neatly crossed and one arm pillowing his head as he nods thoughtfully at something or the other. Ronan gestures watch this at Adam and drapes himself over the back of the couch. “Hey, Dick, I’ve got a question for you.”

Gansey holds up a finger to quiet him, the kind of unintentional imperiousness that makes Ronan really hope that he and Gansey share this particular trait. “It’s a yes-or-no question. You don’t even have to say anything.”

Gansey shrugs and gestures for him to continue. Ronan smirks.

“Are you ticklish?”

Gansey actually flinches. He recovers quickly, shaking his head emphatically and giving Ronan a prohibitive look for good measure, but he really should know better than to think that’s enough to stop Ronan now.

He deploys a single finger to poke at Gansey’s stomach, covered today by an offensively magenta polo shirt. “Oh, good. I’d hate for this to disturb your phone call.”

Gansey bites out a broken stop it as Ronan keeps teasing him, reaching down to catch Ronan’s wrist with his free hand. Over the phone, he can just make out Helen asking a question.

“No, Helen, nothing’s happening-” Ronan raises an eyebrow and waggles his other hand at him tauntingly, and Gansey, blushing, abruptly tells Helen he’ll have to call her back.

Gansey hangs up and opens his mouth to say something, but Ronan’s worked both his hands free now and the only thing that comes out is laughter.

“Rohohonan – whahat – hahahnoho!”

“Thank Adam,” Ronan tells him, rucking up his polo shirt to get better access to Gansey’s torso. It’s lean from rowing practice, but, to Ronan’s delight, that doesn’t make him it any less susceptible to a light scratching that has Gansey in stitches. “He pointed out that I’ve never actually tickled you, which means you have a lot of payback due.”

“That’s not what I said,” calls Adam. He’s grinning, though, happy that Gansey is happy and that he’s not the one under Ronan’s hands today, and Ronan finds his mood rising to match.

Gansey, halfway to hysterics, is an absolute mess. He’s curled up around Ronan’s hands, not that it helps him any, and his golden hair is mussed beyond repair. Still, he hasn’t asked Ronan to stop yet, so Ronan’s not inclined to show him any mercy just yet.

He remembers having brothers. This, somehow, is even better.

#submission #negligible!anon #wow im so sorry it took this long to post this #ive been literally so fucking busy this summer omg #tickle fic #tickling #trc #the raven cycle #adam #ronan #gansey #tickle #fluff #fic #mild #problem solving

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