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#most importantly theyve now accepted that i am autistic
andromedasummer
·
8 months
Text
yesterday was. a lot
#was sick on saturday right. slept from 4pm to 10am the next day
#had a convo with my sister that turned south
#and because of the weather being awful my SAD combined with that and sente into a depressive episode
#had a breakdown over my relationship with my family and their (not. great acceptance/treatment of my autism)
#cried for hours until my mum and dad sat down to have a talk
#i vented stuff i have wanted to say for like. 2 years now. both understood and talked to my siblings about it
#brothet completely understood
#think my sister kinda understands
#which is better than i expected because i was fully prepared for her to just. not give a fuck because i have trouble communicating with her
#and now i feel kind of better?
#i did. purge a fuckton of motorsport stuff from my blog because it was related to the conversation we had
#but was one of many many many things that compiled into a very uncomfortable atmosphere for me in house
#my mum is gonna try harder not to use the r slur which is a relief. my sister has agreed not to make fun of me when i do hear it
#and become upset about it. they understand why i am upset about specific people they support and talk about in front of me
#and i made sure to let them know i understand that they have diff opinions on people who have said hurtful things about disabled people
#because they none of them will ever come from a place where those words hurt them
#but still let them know how that affects my.... i dont wanna say trust? like my comfort in being autistic vs masking with them
#which ive often been forced into doing and am still unlearning
#most importantly theyve now accepted that i am autistic
#that my diagnosis was not officially completed/given because the doctor advised against it. because it makes things way harder
#really im just happy that i wont get comments from my sister about not actually being what i claim i am/have because they.
#really upset me esp when these things that i am (autistic+adhd) and have (ocd/anxiety/depression) are linked but have been confirmed
#multiple times by multiple doctors
#idk i just hope things get easier from here. i can tell my family werent aware of how much this stuff was affecting me so im glad we talked
#because keeping that inside was. exhausting
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