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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982) (Part 1)

I, uh...I wanna talk about zoology.

It’s my profession of choice, although if I’m going to be specific, it’s ecology and ornithology, based on my Masters. But while my expertise is in birds, that doesn’t mean I have any particular preference. So, let’s talk mammals. Specifically, I’d like to talk about horses.

Horses are odd-toed ungulates (Order Perissodactyla) belonging to the family Equidae, with only one living genus (Equus), which includes donkeys, zebras, and a FUCK-ton of fossil progenitors. Not gonna go into horse evolution here, since it’s a vast topic on its own, but the group dates to about 54 million years ago, during the Eocene period.

There are specific features that define modern horses as horses, including a single hoofed toe for walking on, a body built for running with high stamina, and a large cecum in the intestines for breaking down fibrous and herbaceous material. It’s a group native to North America, Africa, and Asia, with the modern descended horse descended from a somewhat unknown ancestor in Central Asia.

They’re grazers rather than browsers, which many similar sized herbivores are. And, of course, they have a close relationship to humans throughout prehistory. Their main systems of defense against predators are the afore-mentioned running capabilities, a VICIOUS kick (especially horses like zebras), and a high-range of monocular vision due to the position of their HUGE eyes.

In terms of sexual selection, it’s essentially based on physical competition between the males in a population, which are usually formed into reproductive harems. That’s one male with multiple females that live within an established range. The females have their own dominance schemes, while groups of males exist in bachelor herds before establishing a harem of their own.

And those two paragraphs help explain why horses don’t grow horns.

Animals like this bighorn sheep, as well as antelopes with impala and gerenuk, perform intrasexual selection using their horns, the size of which determine the fitness of an individual male, with the fights settling any potential ties for watching females. And that’s the main reason why herbivorous mammals grow horns, and horses have come up with different social structures to compensate. But OK, couldn’t they just horns anyway?

Remember the stomach I mentioned earlier? Here’s the thing; hindgut digestion, which is what horses do...not the most nutritionally efficient form of digestion. In order to maintain their running lifestyles, they invest all obtained energy and nutrients into building muscle and other important functions. Fact of the matter is, they just can’t devote enough energy and nutrients to the physiologically expensive act of owning a horn. They do have a close relative that does that, though. However, they’ve sacrificed their speed, intelligence, and even their eyesight for their horns, as well as beefing up their physical defense with thicker skin.

YUP! So why talk about this? I mean...you know why.

OK, so that had basically nothing to do with this movie, but a post like this has been building since I mentioned the gerenuk a little bit ago. Sorry, had to get it out. Anyway, yeah, unicorns are impossible, but they’re still a hallowed mythical creature. National animal of Scotland, one of the most prominent symbols of medieval mythology, a magic-using ethnic class in a mythical kingdom composed of a horse-based majority that also includes normal horses and pegasi...

You know, unicorns. So, I’m definitely interested in what would happen to make a unicorn, well...the last one. My bets are on something man-made, like deforestation or another for of habitat depletion. Could be poaching for the horn. After all, that’s what’s been driving rhinoceros species to near-extinction (or actual extinction in the case of the western black and northern white rhinos. RIP Sudan, you goddamn king).

But let’s find out rather than speculate! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

During medieval times, in a mystical wood called the Unicorn’s Forest, a hunter shows unease to his companion. In the forest, there are no seasons, and the beasts are protected from hunters, as long as there is one unicorn left if the forest. That last unicorn is...the Unicorn (Mia Farrow), who learns from the hunters that she must be the last of her kind.

The opening credits, which are a gorgeous animated medieval tapesty, are backed by the song “The Last Unicorn”, by America (damn, nice pull). Gives the whole thing a Renn Faire feel. Never been to a Renn Faire, but I’d love to go to one, honestly.

Anyway, the Unicorn is in doubt that there are no more of her kind in the world, as they live forever, and she would know if there are none left...right? However, they can also be killed and trapped, so...I mean, they might be dead, Unicorn. As she’s thinking on this, the most Rankin-Bass butterfly ever shows up singing a ballad of love. This is...the Butterfly (Robert Klein), a bard-erfly (see whay I did there) who won’t stop singing, despite the Unicorn’s pleas to tell her of other unicorns.

Butterflies, apparently, repeat to anything they hear around them Which involves like, a lot of non-medieval songs. There’s one about the A-train, apparently, which makes...just NO fucking sense. As the Unicorn also shows frustration at this anachronistic little bugger, he breaks his songs to tell her than the Unicorns have all been chased off by “the Red Bull.”

...I’m going to hold it off as long as I can, but the joke WILL come. It WILL come.

She wonders if she can truly leave the forest, then actually does so in order to find the other unicorns. She happens upon a farmer, who attempts to tame her, as he only sees her as a horse. Apparently, men can no longer see unicorns as they are, and usually only see them as white horses. So, there may be unicorns in the world after all!

Not sure why she doesn’t go back to her forest after realizing this, but...OK. She continues on, backed once again by a song performed by America, called “Man’s Road”. Real talk, I’m digging the music in here, which is my inner folk rock fan talking.

While she finds nothing on her journey, she’s instead found by Mother Fortuna (Angela Langsbury), a witch who runs a carnival that needs a new exhibition. With her comes Ruhk (Brother Theodore) and magician Schmendrick (Alan Arkin), the latter of whom actually can see the Unicorn as a Unicorn.

At the carnival, Schmendrick introduces hiself to the Unicorn, wanting to get her out of there. Meanwhile, an audience is fooled by Mother Fortuna’s illusory magic to see a manticore, satyr, and the Midgard Serpent, when in reality they are an elderly lion, ape with a twisted foot, and really sad snake. However, the Harpy that she has IS real, and a major threat to Fortuna were she to escape.

That night, Fortuna speaks to the Unicorn of the Red Bull, owned by a King Haggard. The Unicorn asks Fortuna to free both her and the Harpy, two signs of the same magical coin. Also...is this a kids’ movie? Kinda thought it was until I noticed that the Harpy has, well...pendulous breasts. Literally the best way I can describe them. Also, three of them, so...there’s that.

After she leaves, Schmendrick arrives to free the Unicorn with his magic...and he’s shit at it. Like, REALLY shit. But thankfully, he’s a decent pickpocket, and stole the cage keys from Ruhk. He lets the Unicorn free, and she in turn releases the other animal prisoners, Harpy included. Which is NOT great for Fortuna, who’s IMMEDIATELY killed.

The two leave together, and head on the Unicorn’s journey to find her own kind. She cannot grant Schmendrick his wish to become a true magician, but he still gives her information about this world, and King Haggard, who seems like bad news.

On the road, the two encounter a gang of thieves of the road, who work for Captain Cully (Keenan Wynn), a short and portly leader of bandits. His mistress is a woman named Molly Grue (Tammy Grimes), who’s endlessly frustrated by Cully’s regular failures. They befriend Schmendrick, who impresses them with illusions of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Although, it’s not his illusions, but those of the Unicorn, trying to help.

Doesn’t help that much, though, as the Robin Hood-hating Captain Cully ties him up to a tree after all of his men and Molly leave. A frustrated Schmendrick mutters a spell by mistake, and brings the tree to life.

And then my girlfriend fuckin’ broke. Here she is, below:

Ravishing. Yeah, she’s watching this too, and when the tree came up, her words were, and I quote:

...a smooth-talking horse, a three-tittied harpy, and a BOOBED TREE!

Boobed tree is an expression I will find a way to use in my life. Also, this is ABSOLUTELY not a kid’s movie, and that is one busty-ass tree. This tree, called...The Tree (Nellie Bellflower) is in love with Schmendrick, and is enraged by the appearance of the Unicorn. However, the Unicorn undoes Schmendrick’s magic, and puts the t-horny tree back to sleep.

The two encounter Molly Grue, who’s astonished to see a Unicorn. She cries, as she was been waiting to see one since she was a young maiden, but now she isn’t one anymore. Interesting implications there, but moving on. Molly wishes to join them, and while Schmendrick isn’t super down for that, she wins the Unicorn’s trust when she points out that they’ve been going in the wrong direction. Whoops.

OK, with that, let’s break for Part 2! See you there!

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elizas-writing · 6 years

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Animated August, Day 25: The Last Unicorn

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait

What do you fucking mean a Rankin/Bass production got the same animators who’d go on to work with Studio Ghibli? Are y’all out of your goddamn minds??

So, I watched quite a few weird movies this month. Some with incredibly surreal animation like The Thief and the Cobbler and The Triplets of Belleville. Others with bizarre settings and premises like Hoodwinked and Quest for Camelot. But The Last Unicorn falls into a special kind of weird: 1980s fantasy films. It’s a bizarre point in time where the film industry showed fantastical, delightful worlds, but also wanted to horrify, confuse and in some cases spark your sexual awakening... for some reason. Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story, and Time Bandits are just a few of the many films which fall into this category. Where it lacked in story and straightforward answers, these films always made up for it with the passionate creativity in the production design. Is there something in The Last Unicorn which holds it up today? Well, let’s get into the story.

A unicorn overhears from some humans passing by her forest that she may be the last of her kind. Bewildered by the thought, she sets out to find the rest of the unicorns who were all captured by a dastardly king and his Red Bull. Along the way she befriends an incompetent magician and a housewife seeking adventure. And it’s a long and perilous journey of magic and monsters as the unicorn tries to maintain her quest and her sanity as she witnesses the worst of humanity.

I should’ve figured from the get-go that there were a ton of Japanese animators behind this given the overall anime look with some inspiration from medieval art. It’s very pretty and has wonderful color use, especially the blues and purples when contrasted with bright red, and the designs on the mythological creatures are both amazingly beautiful and horrifying. Unfortunately, being a Rankin/Bass production, the animation has a lot of stilted character movements to the point where the lip movements don’t always match the voices. It’s always kinda awkward and distracting.

The voice acting is also a bit hit-and-miss as well, which is surprising given the cast: Mia Farrow, Alan Arkin, Tammy Grimes, Jeff Bridges, Angela Lansbury, Christopher Lee and more. Some of them pull through the cheesier dialogue and can be heartbreakingly melodramatic like Farrow as the unicorn and Grimes as Molly Grue. Then you got someone like Arkin as Schmendrick who is definitely trying but sounds drier than a stale Ritz cracker. And pleeease give Bridges a range he can actually sing well in.

Much like any 80s fantasy film, The Last Unicorn relishes in the journey, physical and emotional, than the destination. There’s a lot of worldbuilding and new experiences for the unicorn which seem mundane to mortal men but are shocking to an immortal being who lived safely in her forest for years. She sees greed, death and torture, but there’s still glimpses of hope in the darkest times and a chance for people to do better. One of my favorite scenes is when Molly Grue first meets the unicorn, and she’s shocked, angry, sorrowful, and relieved all at the same time after so many years hoping to see one. Grimes’s performance in this scene is one of the most emotionally raw moments I ever saw in any film.

However, it also leaves its answers vague and themes open-ended where you’re never sure what was intended or if the filmmakers just ran with whatever trippy shit just cause they could. By no means is it a bad thing, but it definitely needs more than one viewing to understand certain scenes and the ending. And that was a common reaction the first time I watched films like Labyrinth and The NeverEnding Story. It’s still a good movie, and even great in some areas, but it’s hard after only one watch to clarify what makes it enjoyable.

The Last Unicorn is not without it’s weird ass moments and Rankin/Bass’s brand of awkward animation. But it also has a lot of beautiful colors and designs, some fun and memorable characters, and a compelling exploration of human nature from an immortal’s perspective. It’s definitely an 80s cult classic for a reason, and the effort doesn’t go unappreciated. And I wouldn’t mind putting it on again to find more reason to like it.

Day 24 >> Day 25 >> Day 26

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#the last unicorn #rankin bass #rankin/bass #animation #animated august #animated #animated film #animated movie #movie review #movie reviews #review #reviews #my writing

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fabrilyshop · 3 years

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