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peggy-sue-reads-a-book · 5 months

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MERRY CONSENTMAS. Let’s talk about personal space/belongings. I’m thinking of kids particularly but this could apply to anyone.

Ok so you’re at someone’s house. You wouldn’t invite yourself into the primary bedroom to have a look around, right? It shouldn’t be different for kids’ room. That is also a safe, private, and personal space for somebody.

Just because the same child was super excited to show you their room and all their stuff last year doesn’t mean they feel the same way this year.

Honestly, adolescents are even more likely to be self conscious of their space and stuff than adults.

If there is a kid moping in a corner with a sketchbook, they don’t want to show you or explain why they’re drawing fanart of emo elves.

It’s going to feel extremely violating if you pick up that sketchbook and start turning pages. That’s not fun. If you are genuinely interested in their artwork or the book they’re reading, try asking a specific question. Remember, if someone is drawing or reading or playing a phone game at a big holiday event, they probably feel really weird and shy right now.

Food can also feel very personal. Idk, for adolescents, everything is personal. No one needs to justify being a vegetarian or gluten free or whatever. You’re smart, you get it.

Did you like being spoken of as if you and your siblings were a monolith of age and preferences? Of course not, especially when you were in middle school and thinking a lot about differentiation. There’s a big difference between asking the parent “Do your children ____” and asking the kids, “Do any of you guys _____”. I don’t care if it’s identical quadruplets, it goes a long way to show you see them as whole-ass people.

Teenagers are not going to think it’s cool if you try to act like their peer in any way shape or form. At best it comes off as immature and at worst is kinda creepy.

Say it’s a shared room. The younger child really wants to show you around. It’ll go a long way to ask their roommate before going in.

LAUNDRY. This is a normal thing to want to help with, and might be to totally fine. It might also be embarrassing for older kids.

Little kids too, especially around potty training. If someone needs help getting cleaned up, they might just want their parent.

When in doubt, ask “is this special to anyone?” before using something/sharing it with other kids.

Literally no one wants to hear your opinion on who’s sleeping with a lovie at what age.

I repeat. I do not care if there is a 17 year old with chest hair in this house wearing a blankie on his head like Linus from Peanuts. This Christmas, give the gift of minding your own.

And for the love of sweet baby Jesus, KNOCK.

#merry consentmas #personal boundaries #boundaries #relationship safety #christmas #kids #children #consent #consent culture #bodily autonomy

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