#meet Xixa
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"She acts like summer and walks like rain Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey"- Train, Drops of Jupiter
(Introducing Xixa Loonsi joining my cast of Main OCs)
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"Are you certain that one Sonny?" It was midday in Gridania, and Dimitri had taken an early break to meet his mentor, Xixa, outside of the shopping area.
"Look at it. It is as green as his eyes, and I swear the band is made of wood. I think it is perfect for him. If he hates it, he can take it off. I think it would help him to have a symbol. Something he can look at when he needs to. When he worries, I.." a deep blush appeared in the Sharlayan's pale skin much to the amusement of the supposedly old Mooncatte who gave a chuckle and then turned to look at a pair of earrings with Menphina's symbol on them giving the seven fulms tall Elezen time to compose himself.
"Cutest damned thing you are. Still can't say you love him without blushing." It was a low mutter, but the Duskwights sharp ears picked up every word she spoke.
"Hey! You are not used to seeing what true love looks like, " he protested, a scowl appearing in his rather feminine features, his normal array of eyeliner and eyeshadow just adding to those features overall.
"No such thing." Xixa grumbled in reply, her nostrils even flaring. "Mark my word Sonny he will either get bored with you, sick of you, or find someone else. It's what happens. No, such a thing as forever no matter how many times ya try, along comes the new shiny and next thing you know the half way out the door."
Over his shoulder, he looked to where she stood, and then he found the dark-haired Miqo'te playing with a bracelet that went to the earrings she had been looking at he could see the sadness there, and a small sigh came from him. "Have you ever told Iris how you feel?" He asked softly, reaching over to take one of the boxes that copies of the set that had caught Xixa's eye, and quickly he put it with his other things before she looked up at him.
"WHAT! NO?" Her voice raised, and for a moment, he thought she was going to punch him, her hand balled at her side suggesting she was certainly thinking about. "It's complicated. She is all the way in Corethas, and I am all the way here. I think she is a noble, one like your sister, full blooded. Doubt she would have time for a relationship with a commoner, and besides, there are others I like in that, and I don't think that's her thing. Like I said, it's complicated. We see each other less and less now. Doesn't change anything for me, but like I said, don't get too comfy, Sonny people leave, and then you have nurse a broken heart."
Dimitri felt his eyes cross, and his lips pressed into a thin line. He despised when she got like this, which wasn't often, Xixa was a strong woman, after all, stronger than his sister in many ways. "Could start going to those social mixers. You know those speed dating ones. The girls are older, and I could be you Wing-Elezen, " and there it was the fist he had been expecting, which connected with his thigh muscle hard enough to make it spasm.
"Ow! XIXA what the FUCK was that!? I was being helpful!" A loud shhh came from the shopkeeper, an old Wildwood from the looks of him who was staring down his nose at the pair with his lip curled in disgust, a faint tremble going through him.
"Mind your business, Sonny. I'm old, and I'm set in my ways. Don't need someone trackin' mud through my house or cloggin' up my shower shower drain with their hair. Been me and the girls for so long now that I wouldn't even know what to do on a date. A speedy one or not. The last date I went on was twenty years ago and it was the girls' father. We went over to the water and fished didn't have much money to do anything else. Can't believe I was ever that young. Liri was born just a turn later, too. Wouldn't even know what to say to get someone interested in me. What do I tell them? I like to darn socks and make stew for supper. Oo, that would have them beatin' down my door." Up she looked at his smiling face, and she couldn't help but scowl at it. "Think my days of datin' are o-v-e-r."
To this, Dimitri shook his head and sighed. "Just like Laurent, same damned age too. Neither of you has even hit forty yet, and here you are. I am beginning to think it is one of those Shroud things." Quickly, he darted forward, putting a space between them before she could hit him again. "I could always look into Iris for you to find out who she is. Invite her to dinner so you two could talk."
A momentary look of hope appeared in the Keeper's eyes, but then she swallowed hard and shook her head. "Wouldn't want to push her. She'll come back around when she's ready or when she misses me. I know she does. I can feel it." There were other things Xixa wanted to say as her ears sagged on top of her head, and her tail swished back and forth very close to the floor. "I don't want ta talk about this anymore." Her tone was firm again and her teeth gritted together.
"Order your wedding bands, and then let's go. Had enough of this old ass staring at us." Her hand lifted, and she raised her middle finger to the old Elezen. Who wheezed in reply and look towards Dimitri who was approaching the counter swiftly.
"Better have the gil Duskwight or the Adders will be here to collect you." The old man left his threat hanging in the air as Dimitri drew out a rather official looking cheque book from a Sharlayan Bank. "How much do I owe you?"his fiery eyebrow lifting in question.
"The two nophica bands set in dark wood around one hundred thousand gil as a pair and that box there will cost you another hundred thousand and no I won't split it up so you can afford it. No bartering, either your kind, has nothing I would be interested in."
Not a single word left his lips, not even a whisper of reply. Instead, he focused on writing the amount on the next cheque and then slid it across the counter just as Xixa yelled behind him. "Dontcha be smart Pierront Chevanoix. I see your wife at temple on Windsday. She'll box yer ears if I tell her you were bein' an ass to Lord Jienuex."
Dimitri stiffened at the sound of the word "Lord" before his name. Even though he had just written it on the cheque, the sound of that terrible word always made his stomach churn in protest. When someone called him it.
"Oh, sorry Ser," Elezen said out of nowhere, and he straightened up. "Forgive. The clan markings and relaxed manners. I thought you were one of those vagrants from Mun Tuy cellars." This seemed to get much faster now as he gathered all the sizing information and designs for the rings, the special symbols giving him pause as he recognized the Shroud Witch nature behind them. "This order will take about a Moon, Ser. Unless you need it sooner?"
Tucking the book back into his coat, he shook his head at Old Elezen. "A Moon is fine. We have not set an official date yet. I will just take the other item. It isn't going very far. " Then, on his heel, he turned and out the door he headed, adding one final dig. "Just linkpearl the Adders when they are done. I work for them. They will get you in touch." Yanking open the door, he let Xixa escape first before he stepped out and shut it behind him.
"Where too next?" Xixa lit a cigarette as soon as she felt the fresh air on her cheeks.
"Home. I have had enough of the city this day, but first, this is for you." Dimitri extended the box he had been carrying waiting for the Keeper to take it. His eyes flashed in various marine shades. "I saw you looking at it. Something nice to wear when we find you a date."
"Sonny, is this.." her eyes widened as she opened the box and looked inside. The next thing Dimitri knew, there were tears in Xixa's eyes. "Sonny, I can't pay you back for this."
"You'll pay me back by going on a date with someone or finally telling Iris that you want her in your life life." Silence fell over the pair then as Xixa fought for the words to say how she felt, but none would come, at least not now.
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From the Journal of Viviane-Jienuex Vimaroix
I am finally free of it, that dreadful, gloomy place. Just as my reading two Moons ago predicted, the Caretaker of the Path came to claim the station. The circle has been completed, and Fate's wishes were observed. It was the last duty I had to old ghosts. Perhaps they will settle now that the torch has passed.
It is now my time to move forward with the bakery in Ishgard. If only we could win a damn land parcel for it, these auctions are frustrating, and the last one we came quite close. Perhaps now that I have finished this task, Nymeia will smile fondly upon us and Vimaroix Sweets will soon flourish in the chilly nights of Corethas.
She asked to see my Brothers, both of them. Qih'a I will send to represent the House but I am rather doubtful I will tell Dimitri of the request. I know he is old enough to make the decision himself but the Caretaker is like me, yet not. Where I am comfortable treating my issues with Ambient Aether and things imbued with Aether. She sees no issue in helping herself to others Aethers. Tis a clash of morals and ethics without a doubt. My brother is drenched in Aether and I do not trust that she would control herself around him and so the message will be lost in the Moogle Mail so that he and Laurent have peace.
What I have arranged is for Xixa to keep an eye on her since she will be left to run the Shroud Bakery in my absence. Oh, I will still visit the Beds with my loves, but it will be in secret now. I wish no involvement in what is now the closed cover on the book of my past. My future is far too bright to take steps backward to a place I hardly remember. It is best left that way as I have learned with other memories if something has been forgotten, then it is best not to bring it back up.
Finally, life's plate is balanced for me. My attention is not spread in too many directions. I can read Tarot by request to give a chance to meet others or even at various festivals I have heard of to expand our connections overall, though I would much rather be a merchant at those to get Vimaroix Sweets out in the open. I know in my heart when my time comes to retire from performing, it will be the Bakery that occupies the famous golden years of life.
I have truly been enjoying the reduced schedule there as well. Gone are the long hours of choreography and rehearsals. When I do get on stage, it feels rewarding now. I even have time for journal writing and resuming my studies on the family history. Dimitri has located several volumes written by Mother in an obscure language that he struggles to interpret, a rare thing for him. While it gives me pause, I find myself wondering if it could be an ancient language that has been previously lost? Or perhaps it was true that Mother was a void creature, and that is a language that he can not comprehend.
Either way, he is due to drop them off for me to study. Something I look forward to as my mother was an honored scholar and an expert on the War of the Magi, my own studies running parallel to hers. I can feel my heart skip a beat at the prospect that these journals could have to do with her findings or something equally important. I wonder if they are part of the same series to the one that Xixa gave me soon after I wed Clement and Kovalt.
This was the life I long wished would be mine when I left Ishgard to find it, and it would be nothing if I could not share it with them. I believe a ritual to honor Nymeia's presence in our lives is in order. I wonder if there are any temples excepting donations in her name. If not, I could bestow a gift to Mephina's Temple in thanks to her for blessing our lives with love.
VSJ-V
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"Maybe you can tell her to sit down."
Dimitri arrived right as the door to the house swung open and the handle slammed into the wall making him cringe at the sound of the wood buckling to the fury of the petite and normally demure Liri who stormed out with her nose in the air and her child squealing in delight at the chaos that had erupted, on her hip.
"Dontcha come back here lookin for no super later either girl" Xixa yelled after her oldest "Ungrateful child, s'what I get for sleepin' with a Seeker." That was another cringe that made the Sharlayan clear his throat to try and hide the words alas it was too late and after one more burst of rage off ran Liri in tears while the wee one babbled happily and waved its little hand at Dimitri over Liri's shoulder.
"Again?" This had been the last few visits to the Loonsi House. He had arrived each time on the cusp of yet another arguement.
"Again" Xixa replied, voice colored with a rather noticeable irritability. "Thinks she knows everything that one. Well don't stand in the yard Sonny. Ain't gettin' any younger neither of us."
Carefully the giant stepped through the door made for Miqo'te and then turned to examine the damage to the wall where the door handle had hit. For a young woman Dimitri had found himself wondering if Liri had super strength a few times now, her ability to damage things, far greater that someone her size should have been able to pull off.
"What happened?" The words were soft and kind with just a bit of a rumble to them that often sounded like a moving storm, kneeling down he ran his hand along the wall checking first for an indent and the secondly for any slivers or shards that could harm someone who came in contact with the door.
"The usual, girl has her knickers in a bunch because I went outside." The tapping of a cane filled the Sharlayan's ears and his head turned to find the Miqo'te nearly at his side already.
"She ain't aether sensitive like me and her Sisters. Took after her Father she did. Not a whole lot of Aether of her own but what she does have is thick and strong. Tough for her to understand I can see even though I'm blind."
Rising to his feet he moved closer and rested a hand on his mentors arm, she looked more tired than usual and her hair was pulled up into a bun that exposed her moon-like face making her look far younger than he thought she was due to the long grey streak of hair that rested along her right cheek and then spilled down her robes.
"Hmm I was wondering how similar your talent was to Y'shtola Rhul. Had a chance to hear her speak once or perhaps it was more yell? Quite the impressive woman really and quite blind. Her eyes glow like your however, alas I could not get closer to meet her. She was arguing with members of the Forum." Something that was not new to those who live in Sharlayan, the memory bringing a smile to his lips.
"Not quite. Shtola's gifts are stronger than mine. While both of us had rather scary expierences that woke them, her turns learning with her fancy mentor makes her far more advanced than me, not to mention the time in Sharlayan learning as well. Did you know she is younger than me, about ten turns perhaps twelve? She is a Keeper as well." Xixa cracked a smile showing off the very notable Keeper fangs. "Lot of gifted Witches and Sorceresses are. Only thing better are some of the lalafell you find at the Ossuary in Ul'dah."
Dimitri couldn't help but chuckle at the pride in her voice. She loved being a Keeper and it was apparent when she spoke about those who had been extraordinarily successful on their path. "I would have thought you were younger."
The words slipped out of his mouth and sounded perhaps a little charming, before he started to cough from how forward and flirty they felt, something he was just not good at in any way. In fact he could not figure out for the life of him how he had caught Laurent's attention with how bad his flirting was.
Xixa barked a laugh "Flattery will get you everywhere Sonny. Best way to get a woman in your bed is to pay them a compliment like that." She said it so quickly that at first it didn't register between his long ears, his mind still occupied with thoughts of Y'shtola but once his brain sped up from a good few moments of a fantasy he let out a strangled sound then sputtered like a defective piece of magitek.
"Xixa!" He choked out as his ears flushed only to be met with the Keepers cackling, it was a sound that was both eerie and attractive at the same time. "I am about to be a married man. I would never, I could never." And out came his well known seriousness which made Xixa groan.
"Too bad I wouldn't mind a couple of Elezen in my bed. Rather found of Elezen. My, hmm friend with benefits? Is that how you kids say it? " the smile on her face had grown wicked and spread from pointy ear to pointy ear, making him blush even more. She knew what she was doing and she was enjoying herself a little too much in Dimitri's mind.
"Xixa you are my mentor I do not need to hear about your sex life!" He protested as he focused on turning the temperature down on his face. "Besides you know I do not have sexual relationships with women." He cleared his throat then took a deep breathe trying to steel his nerves again.
"Right I could hear your cock when it sprung to life thinking about Shtola. Don't worry, I won't tell no one Sonny but you might want to watch that conversation. Fastest I've even felt a man get hard."
"XIXA!!" He yelped out mortified at how relaxed she was about sex in general. Let alone her teasing him about it. There was no doubt in his mind that if he looked in a mirror right now he would be as red as a Rolanberry.
"HA!" She called back, her cane tapping on the hardwood floor again. "Let's get some tea, then you can tell me why you stopped by. Don't smack that thing on the furniture while you walk. The aether signature is very noticeable. Never seen one quite so big."
"XIXA STOP" it was too late, however, in the time he had taken to yell again, she had already disappeared into the kitchen her cackle still spilling from her lips and echoing down the hall.
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1000 Albums 2021: The Big Lists + Playlists
To put a cap on another year of our 1000 Albums music project, here’s the complete lists of my top 100 albums and tracks for the year. As well as that, I’ve compiled some Spotify playlists for you to check out which slice and dice my favourites in various ways.
Read the write-ups of my top tracks and albums if you want all the details, but this is the post that just has the lists for the completionists.
The Playlists
Top 30 Tracks, Ranked - You're busy, I get it. You just want to listen to the tracks I wrote up earlier this week? This is the playlist for you. Just the crème de la crème, ranked from #1 to #30. (30 tracks, 2h)
Top 100 Tracks, Ranked - My top 100 tracks in order from #1 to #100. Start at the top and listen to my favourite music of the year. (100 tracks, 6.5h)
Jez's Top Tracks - A wider list of all my favourite tracks of the year. (168 tracks, 11h)
Jez's Top Tracks + Albums - All of my favourite tracks of the year, plus selections from all my favourite albums as well. (213 tracks, 14h)
Jez's Top Tracks, Albums + Much, Much More - This is the big one; a vast all-encompassing selection of the myriad albums we listened to over the course of 2021. All personally selected, but done so in an incredibly promiscuous way. I guarantee that somewhere in here is something you'll love, if you can find it. (1,063 tracks, 68h)
Top Albums of 2021
100. Middle Kids - Today We're the Greatest
99. Landshapes - Contact
98. Porter Robinson - Nurture
97. Oscar Lang - Chew The Scenery
96. Rosemary Lawton - Canvas (folk rock)
95. Danny L Harle - Harlecore (happy hardcore)
94. Hippo Campus - Good Dog, Bad Dream
93. TradArrr - Strange News
92. Creeper - American Noir
91. Fruit Bats - The Pet Parade
90. Emma Stevens - Light Year
89. XIXA - Genesis
88. Inner Prospekt - Canvas Two
87. Dispatch - Break Our Fall
86. Someone & Tessa Rose Jackson - Shapeshifter
85. Cold Weather Company - Coalescence
84. Fools Garden - Captain… Coast Is Clear
83. I Was the Lion & Peter Groenwald - Come to Life
82. Yebba - Dawn
81. Gauvain Sers - Ta place dans ce monde
80. Color Dolor - Blurry Things
79. Matt Sweeney & Bonnie Prince Billy - Superwolves
78. Diablo Swing Orchestra - Swagger & Stroll Down The Rabbit Hole
77. Eliza Shaddad - The Woman You Want
76. Sean McConnell - A Horrible Beautiful Dream
75. Shiny Joe Ryan - Shiny's Democracy
74. Walk The Moon - Heights
73. Sturle Dagsland - Sturle Dagsland
72. Cory Wong & Dirty Loops - Turbo
71. Wing Vilma - Spirit Practice
70. Kratos Himself - Vectors
69. Beans on Toast - Knee Deep in Nostalgia
68. Misty Coast - When I Fall From The Sky
67. Tusmørke - Nordisk Krim
66. Shubh Saran - inglish
65. Moon Taxi - Silver Dream
64. Damian Wilson - Limehouse to Lechlade
63. Mighty Oaks - Mexico
62. Halsey - If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power
61. The Armadillo Paradox - Out of Gas in Oil Country
60. Arnau Griso - Eric Blanch
59. Alicia Walter - I Am Alicia
58. Ian Lockwood - Not Like Other Girls
57. The Small Calamities - Moments of Impact
56. Marina - Ancient Dreams in a Modern World
55. Sufjan Stevens & Angelo De Augustine - A Beginner's Mind
54. FOUDRE! - Future Sabbath
53. Pale Ramon - Annie
52. Libera - If
51. Nitin Sawhney - Immigrants
50. Gawain and the Green Knight - A Sleeping Place
49. Brian Finnegan - Hunger of the Skin
48. Wolf Alice - Blue Weekend
47. Hybrid - Black Halo
46. Matt Maltese - Good Morning It's Now Tomorrow
45. Rave The Reqviem - Stigmata Itch
44. The Night Game - Dog Years
43. Lake Street Dive - Obviously
42. Waxflight - Flowers
41. 3D Stas - Bueno Acido
40. Saint Motel - The Orignal Motion Picture Soundtrack
39. Brandi Carlile - In These Silent Days
38. Spellling - The Turning Wheel
37. Red Rum Club - How To Steal The World
36. Walk Off The Earth - Meet You There
35. Only Sun - Tangled Mind
34. Ritual Cloak & Autumn Juvenile - A Human Being is the Best Disguise
33. Saint Motel - The Orignal Motion Picture Soundtrack
32. Shungudzo - I'm not a mother, but I have children
31. Steven Wilson - The Future Bites
30. Grace Petrie - Connectivity
29. The Fratellis - Half Drunk Under a Full Moon
28. The War on Drugs - I Don't Live Here Anymore
27. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard - Butterfly 3000
26. Passenger - Songs for the Drunk & Broken Hearted
25. Sandhya - Innocent Monster
24. The Lathums - How Beautiful Life Can Be
23. Ross Gay - Dilate Your Heart
22. Pale Waves - Who Am I?
21. Horsey - Debonair
20. Manchester Orchestra - The Million Masks of God
19. Sectlinefor - Kissing Strangers During An Outbreak
18. Strange Bones - England Screams
17. Aimee Mann - Queens of the Summer Hotel
16. Hamish Hawk - Heavy Elevator
15. ViVii - Mondays
14. Clockwise On Fire - Clockwise On Fire
13. Villagers - Fever Dreams
12. The Orange Peels - Celebrate The Moments of Your Life
11. The Zolas - Come Back To Life
10. Lydmor - Capacity
9. The Go! Team - Get Up Sequences Part 1
8. Valerie June - The Moon and Stars: Prescriptions For Dreamers
7. Trace Kotik - Everything Has Been Done, Now Everything Is Possible…
6. Various Artists - The Metallica Blacklist
5. Greta Van Fleet - The Battle at Garden's Gate
4. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard - L.W.
3. Chvrches - Screen Violence
2. Pepe Deluxé - Phantom Cabinet Vol. 1
1. Dylan Cartlidge - Hope Above Adversity
Top Tracks of 2021
100. Thee More Shallows - Ancient Baby
99. Tusmørke - Ride the Whimbrel
98. Jeff Tuohy - Murder In A Dancehall
97. Trace Kotik - 100
96. Halsey - Girl is a Gun
95. Henry Jamison & Darlingside - The Parting Glass
94. Frank Turner - Haven't Been Doing So Well
93. Ichiko Aoba - Porcelain
92. ViVii - Smackdown
91. Waxflight - Daughters of Progress
90. Drapht - Robbery - triple j Like A Version
89. Harleymoon Kemp - Love on the Radio
88. Aimee Mann - Robert Lowell and Sylvia Plath
87. CHVRCHES - Asking For A Friend
86. La Casa Azul - Entra En Mi Vida
85. GoGo Penguin & Squarepusher - F Maj Pixie - Squarepusher Remix
84. Brian Finnegan - Fathom
83. Ritual Cloak & Autumn Juvenile - Your Turbulent Best Friend
82. Morrisson & Aitch - House & Garage (feat. Aitch)
81. Horsey - Lagoon
80. Dave & Stormzy - Clash (feat. Stormzy)
79. CHVRCHES & Robert Smith - How Not To Drown
78. Elder Island - Sacred
77. Dylan Cartlidge - PTSD
76. Valerie June - You And I
75. Strange Bones - Jungle
74. Vistas - Stuck in Your Head
73. Sangatsu no Phantasia - 幸福なわがまま
72. Sammy Rae & The Friends - Whatever We Feel
71. Ocean Alley - Touch Back Down
70. Pearl Charles - Only for Tonight
69. Ghost - Enter Sandman
68. WALK THE MOON - Can You Handle My Love??
67. Denise Chaila & Jafaris - Anseo (Single Mix)
66. Connor Leimer - Criminals
65. The Night Game - A Postcard from the City of Angels
64. Mighty Oaks - Mexico
63. Manchester Orchestra - Bed Head
62. Anneke Van Giersbergen - I Saw a Car
61. Waterparks - Numb
60. Barenaked Ladies - Flip
59. Sandhya - Monster
58. Woodkid - Guns for Hire (from the series Arcane League of Legends)
57. The Zolas - Yung Dicaprio
56. Middle Kids - Questions
55. Quilloughby & Lisa Simpson - Everyone Is Horrid Except Me (And Possibly You)
54. Takatsugu Muramatsu, Libera & Robert Prizeman - Home
53. Bellowhead - London Town (Live)
52. Alicia Walter - Standing at Your Doorstep
51. The Brother Brothers - On The Road Again
50. Shiny Joe Ryan - Dad's Hat
49. My Morning Jacket - Nothing Else Matters
48. Maggie Lindemann - Scissorhands
47. Wolf Alice - Smile
46. Yebba - How Many Years
45. Peter Groenwald & I WAS THE LION - One More
44. Grace Petrie - The Last Man On Earth
43. Jeremy Zucker - brooklyn boy
42. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Catching Smoke
41. Clockwise On Fire - Latework
40. The Go! Team - A Bee Without Its Sting
39. Kero Kero Bonito - The Princess and the Clock
38. Leah Blevins - Beautiful Disaster
37. Emma Stevens - On a Day Like Today
36. Dylan Cartlidge - Cheerleader
35. Villagers - So Simpatico
34. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Pleura
33. The Lathums - Circles Of Faith
32. Greta Van Fleet - Light My Love
31. Diablo Swing Orchestra - Out Came The Hummingbirds
30. JK-47 & Bronte Eve - Changes - triple j Like A Version
29. Gang of Youths - the man himself
28. Kishi Bashi - For Every Voice That Never Sang
27. Ego Ella May - for the both of us
26. Andréanne A. Malette - Alaska
25. Clockwise On Fire - Dig
24. Crawford Mack - The Last Perfect Day on Earth
23. Pilar Victoria - Flustered Snowflakes
22. Danny Elfman & Squarepusher - We Belong - Squarepusher Remix
21. Only Sun - Switch Off, Fall Off
20. Lord Huron - Drops in the Lake
19. Ross Gay & Mary Lattimore - Burial
18. Lydmor - Someone We Used to Love
17. Ian Lockwood - No Homo
16. Fryars - God Melodies
15. CHVRCHES - Final Girl
14. Pepe Deluxe - 22nd Century Dandy
13. Trace Kotik - Slip
12. Lake Street Dive - Know That I Know
11. Pale Waves - She's My Religion
10. Dear Boy - (On My) Mind
9. Steven Wilson - PERSONAL SHOPPER
8. Landshapes - I'm Mortal
7. audiobooks - The Doll
6. Rave The Reqviem - Holy Homicide
5. Shubh Saran - postradition
4. Gawain and The Green Knight - Birds & Wine
3. Bang Bang Bart - Ramraid the Servo
2. Hamish Hawk - The Mauritian Badminton Doubles Champion, 1973
1. Greta Van Fleet - Heat Above
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Weak
Summary: Post-Chariot chapter for Julian’s route. Xixa is at the shop alone, fending off angst. Julian enters, angstily. Things get even angstier. Angst angst angst. Did I mention there’s some angst?
This was supposed to be an indulgent steamy piece, but - apparently - Xixa has adopted some of Julian’s melodrama and the story did its own thing.
ヽ(￣д￣;)ノsaveme
Empty and cold, the magic shop hadn’t seen much in the way of customers all day. Xixa cursed the lack of customers. Lack of business meant her thoughts wandered and, right now, they wandered down to the docks. Xixa shut the memory out before it started, forcefully shoving a jar onto a cabinet shelf. No, she wasn’t going to think about that.
Asra was gone, off to the palace, experimenting with a handful of concoctions to ease the Countess’s headaches. Alone, it was so easy for Xixa to dwell on dismal things.
The bell above the door jingled a song of salvation. She turned, a soft smile on her lips, to greet the newcomer. Her heart sputtered.
It was Julian.
“What are you doing here?” Her words came out soft and quick. The urge to run toward him, bury her face in his chest and melt into his body heat clawed through her limbs.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” Julian couldn’t meet her gaze. His hand hovered near the doorknob, an evident battle to leave or stay wobbling through his thoughts. Even from across the store, Xixa could tell he was biting his bottom lip. When he spoke next, his words came strained, on the edge of tears, “I’m so weak.”
The bite of his last words painted the picture for Xixa. He was weak, pathetic. He had broken things off with Xixa to keep her safe and, here he was, fumbling back to her like a doddering puppy. Pain snaked up her chest, sinking into her heart. She didn’t think anything of the sort, but – Asra was right – Julian was his own worst enemy. Not simply a self-saboteur, but a self-deprecating vilifier.
She didn’t want him to have those feelings about himself.
“Just leave,” she heard herself saying. Her voice sounded distant to herself. They were words she didn’t want to let loose from her mouth, but deep down, she knew she had to. The sooner Julian left, the sooner they both could heal from their wayward… whatever they had.
Julian turned a wide eye toward her. Pain pinched his features. “Xixa?”
“Go.” The word came out stiff and harsh. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but Xixa swallowed them down. She just had to tamp them down a few more seconds. Pain bit into her palms, her fingers curled into tight, white-knuckled balls. He’d sprint out that door, soon enough. Find a nice ale to drown himself in, at the Rowdy Raven. What mattered was she was “safe” in his mind. Right?
Unable to take the pained look on his face while her own heart throbbed, Xixa turned her back on him. She returned to putting stock away, fingers trembling. Finally, the bell above the door gave a forlorn jingle. Xixa paused, placing a glass bottle down as she held her breath. The door latched and a harsh sob erupted from her throat, wracking her whole body. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as cold grief settled in her chest. How could one man trigger such drastic emotions in her?
She pressed a hand to her mouth, muffling her cries. Unbearable heat licked across her face as she pulled her elbows tighter to her body. She attempted to contain herself, control herself, but cracked under intense emotion.
Suddenly, firm hands grasped her shoulders from behind, forcing her to spin around. Xixa turned red-rimmed eyes up toward Julian. Her stomach turned leaden, lips trembling against her palm.
He leered down at her, frustration and hurt painted across his features. His eye darted around her face, taking in her puffy eyes, her saline-slicked cheeks, her reddened nose. When his gaze fell to her hand, still firmly clasped over her mouth, something in his face softened. Gently, his gloved hand lifted Xixa’s hand from her face.
His attention turned toward that extremity. Xixa glanced toward it, eyes catching on exactly what caught his attention. Four red crescents marred her palm, two oozing. He snagged her other hand in his gentle grip, finding four more bloody crescents. The apprentice looked away from his calculating expression, staring at his chest. Deep in the swirl of despondency, a little glimmer of delight and shame from his touch licked at her thoughts.
Julian momentarily released her hands from his grasp, though Xixa kept them up for him. They both knew what he had planned. He pulled his gloves off and dropped them to the floor, encasing her hands in his. His fingers gingerly nudged themselves between hers, his palms hot against hers. She squeezed his hands. Turning her tear-seared gaze to his face, Xixa ached to have more than their hands touch. Julian’s grey eye fixed on her face. A storm of emotions behind his expression. There was a warm softness, amid the pain and irritation and frustration, that struck the apprentice the hardest.
A new round of tears swelled in Xixa’s eyes. Beneath the collar of his coat, she could see the curse mark glow on his throat. The sizzle of magic nipped across her flesh. In seconds, her self-inflicted injuries jumped to Julian’s palms and faded.
They stayed like that for a breath. Their hands entwined, basking in such a minor touch and the beat of each others’ pulse. Julian was the one break the hold. He slid his hands from Xixa’s, bending to pick up his discarded gloves.
Xixa remained silent. The atmosphere still heavy and scented with magic. Her hand came up to her chest, rubbing against the dull throb beneath her sternum. Quietly, afraid to bring his attention to it, she whispered almost too soft to hear, “It still hurts.”
The doctor turned a startled look toward her. Maybe it was her voice or perhaps the thought of his curse no longer working properly. However, when Julian registered the sore spot Xixa rubbed, his shoulders sagged. With a hard swallow, he looked away from her and forced out, “I know. I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t help herself. Her hand drifted to his face, barely skirting her palm across his jawline. Electric delight slid down her arm, bursting into heat at her spine. The man closed his eyes, relaxing into her touch. Xixa knew she shouldn’t have done that. It just made things harder. She wanted to give in, though, wanted to coax him to stay. Or maybe just touch him until she was satisfied.
Which would be never.
“I…” Slowly, he opened his eye, staring owlishly at Xixa. Momentary temptation lit in his gaze. It was obvious he wanted to indulge, to savor what little touches they could eke out. Part of Xixa wanted him to give in. Award her with his kisses and touches and warmth. Make the pain dissipate under the heat of delight. Another part wanted him to stay strong, if only for his own sense of self-worth. A glassy sheen welled up in his eye as he pressed her hand back to her side. He could barely croak out, “I can’t stay.”
Numbness trickled over her. Too much energy, too many emotions, already spent… The apprentice couldn’t find the appropriate words. Heat daubed at the back of her eyes, but – for now – tears wouldn’t fall. She simply nodded glumly.
Julian didn’t move right away. He stared at her, opened his mouth as if to say something, then snapped it shut. With a shake of his head, he stepped away from Xixa. Distance, that’s what he wanted, Xixa gloomily watched him. Decisively, the doctor turned toward the door. Without another look back, determination propelling his feet forward, and the man left the shop.
Xixa’s heart shuddered, unhappily, as that damned bell chimed once more. This time, she knew Julian was gone. The magic shop felt colder and lonelier than ever.
Despite her personal misery, a small flare of pride for him heated her. She hoped, despite her heartache, Julian found some dignity for himself. The edge of her pain softened at that thought as she, very sloppily, closed shop.
#the arcana game#thearcanagame#julian devorak#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak x xixa#xixa#my writing
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All The New Albums Coming Out In February 2019
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Keeping track of all the new albums coming out in a given month is a big job, but we’re up for it: Below is a comprehensive list of the major releases you can look forward to in February. If you’re not trying to potentially miss out on anything, it might be a good idea to keep reading.
Friday, February 1
American Authors — Seasons (Universal Island Records)
Andrew Wasylyk — The Paralian (Athens Of The North)
Astronoid — Astronoid (Blood Music)
Atomic — Pet Variations (ODIN)
Beirut — Gallipoli (4AD)
Big Wild — Superdream (Counter Records)
Blank Range — In Unison (Sturdy Girls/Thirty Tiger)
Broods — Don’t Feed The Pop Master (Neon Gold/Atlantic)
Boy Harsher — Careful (Nude Club)
Bravo Delta — Unbreakable (self-released)
Business Of Dreams — Ripe For Anarchy (Slumberland Records)
Busted — Half Way There (EastWest U.K.)
Cassadee Pope — Stages (Awake Music LLC)
Cherry Glazzer — Stuffed & Ready (Secretly Canadian)
Dave Harrington (of Darkside) — Pure Imagination, No Country (Yeggs Records)
Deep State — The Path To Fast Oblivion (Friendship Fever)
Deer Tick — Mayonnaise (Partisan Records)
Emily King — Scenery (ATO Records)
Finlay Shakespeare — Domestic Economy (Editions Mego)
Folamour — Ordinary Drugs (FHUO Records)
G Herbo — Still Swervin (Machine Entertainment Group)
Gentle Heat — Liminal EP (Skeletal Lightning)
Girlpool — What Chaos Is Imaginary (ANTI‐)
Guided By Voices — Zeppelin Over China (Rockathon Records)
Hajk — Drama (Jansen Records)
Harriet Brown — Mall Of Fortune (Innovative Leisure)
Highasakite — Uranium Heart (Propeller Recordings)
J.S. Ondara — Tales Of America (Verve Forecast Records)
Jealous Of The Birds — Wisdom Teeth EP (Big Space Records)
Jon Samuel — Dead Melodies (Hidden Pony Records)
Karolina Rose — Invicta EP (Violet Sunset Records)
Le Butcherettes — Bi/Mental (Rise Records)
Leon Vynehall — DJ-Kicks (!K7)
Lexie Liu — 2030 (88rising)
Listen To Girl — Long-Term World (Earthly Habit)
The Lonely Heartstring Band — Smoke & Ashes (Rounder Records)
Lost Cousins — In Scenery (Pheromone Records)
Lou Doillon — Soliloquy (Wrasse Records)
Luttrell — Into Clouds (Anjunadeep)
Mandolin Orange — Tides Of A Teardrop (Yep Roc Records)
Masaki Batoh — Nowhere (Drag City)
Mörglbl — The Story Of Scott Rötti (The Laser’s Edge)
The Moth & The Flame — Ruthless (Robot Farming)
Nina Nesbitt — The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change (Cooking Vinyl)
Onydia — Reflections (Revalve Records)
Patrick Daphier — Say I’m Pretty (YK Records)
Pedro Vian — Pedro Vian (Modern Obscure Music)
Rustin Man (Talk Talk’s Paul Webb) — Drift Code (Domino Recording Company)
Small Talks — A Conversation Between Us (Common Ground Records)
Soen — Lotus (Silver Lining Music)
The Sonic Dawn — Eclipse (Heavy Psych Sounds)
The Specials — Encore (UMC)
Spielbergs — This Is Not The End (By The Time It Gets Dark)
Thyla — What’s On Your Mind EP (REX Records)
Tim Bowness — Flowers At The Scene (Inside Out Music)
Tiny Ruins — Olympic Girls (Milk! Records)
Ward Thomas — Restless Minds (Sony Music CG)
The Western Den — A Light Left On (The Western Den)
White Lies — Five ([PIAS])
Within Temptation — Resist (Vertigo Berlin)
Yugen Blakrok — Anima Mysterium (Cylid Sarl DBA I.O.T Records)
Friday, February 8
Ageist — Babyface (Arctic Rodeo Recordings)
Amy McCarley — Meco (MECO Records)
Ariana Grande — Thank U, Next (Republic Records)
Be Forest — Knocturne (We Were Never Being Boring Collective)
Bob Mould — Sunshine Rock (Merge Records)
Busted — Half Way There (EastWest U.K.)
Cass McCombs — Tip Of The Sphere (ANTI‐)
Charlie Faye & The Fayettes — The Whole Shebang (Bigger Better More Records)
Charlotte Adigéry — Zandoli EP (DEEWEE)
CJ Boyd — Kin Ships (Joyful Noise Recordings)
Flat Worms — Into The Iris EP (GOD?)
Geezer — Spiral Fires EP (Kozmik Artifactz)
Health — Vol. 4 :: Slaves Of Fear (Loma Vista Recordings)
Henry Jamison — Gloria Duplex (Akira Records)
Jessica Pratt — Quiet Signs (Mexican Summer)
John Diva & The Rockets Of Love — Mama Said Rock Is Dead (Steamhammer)
Jozef Van Wissem and Jim Jarmusch — An Attempt To Draw Aside The Veil (Sacred Bones)
Kicker — Pure Drivel (Tankcrimes)
King Of Foxes — Salt & Honey (Olivia Street)
LCD Soundsystem — Electric Lady Sessions (DFA Records)
The Lemonheads — Varshons 2 (Fire Records)
Matty Carlock — The Jailbirds (115 Collective)
Michael Chapman — True North (Paradise of Bachelors)
Moes Anthill — Quitter (TOURBOmusic)
Panda Bear — Buoys (Domino Recording Company)
Queen Zee — Queen Zee (Sasstone Records)
Radiant Baby — Restless (Lisbon Lux Records)
Rosy Vista — Unbelievable (Steamhammer)
Ryan Lott (of Son Lux) — Pentaptych (This Is Meru)
Said The Whale — Cascadia (Arts & Crafts)
Silk Road Assassins — State Of Ruin (Planet Mu)
Sister Hazel — Fire EP (Croakin’ Poet Records)
Talos — Far Out Dust (BMG Rights Management (US) LLC)
Tunic — Complexion (Self Sabotage Records)
Various Artists — Music Inspired By The Film Roma (Sony Music)
Windswept — The Onlooker (Season of Mist Underground Activists)
Xiu Xiu — Girl With Basket Of Fruit (Polyvinyl Record Co.)
Y La Bamba — Mujeres (Tender Loving Empire)
Yak — Pursuit Of Momentary Happiness (Third Man Records)
Friday, February 15
Andromo & Chris Fortier — Shape & Form EP (Rainforest Music)
Anemone — Beat My Distance (Royal Mountain Records)
Avril Lavigne — Head Above Water (BMG Rights Management (US) LLC)
Baby Goth — Baby EP (Republic Records)
Bedstudy — Dot Wave EP (Grand Jury Music)
Bellamy Brothers — Over The Moon (Bellamy Brothers Records)
Betty Who — Betty (Kobalt)
Bis — Slight Disconnects (Last Night From Glasgow )
Bjarki — Happy Earthday (!K7 Records)
Black Taffy — Elder Mantis (Leaving Records)
Boo Ray — Tennessee Alabama Fireworks (BRRB Music)
Broken Social Scene — Let’s Try The After — Vol 1 EP (Arts & Crafts)
Brookhaven and Scatter Swept — Modern Remains (Expel Records)
C’mon Tigre — Racines (BDC)
Chain Wallet — No Ritual (Jansen Records)
Chaka Khan — Hello Happiness (Island)
Crystal Lake — Helix (SharpTone Records)
Czarface and Ghostface Killah — Czarface Meets Ghostface (Get On Down)
Dale Watson — Call Me Lucky (Compass Records)
Dead Pollys — Strummerland (Too Loud Records)
Dear Seattle — Don’t Let Go (Domestic La La)
Electric Mary — Mother (Listenable Records)
Elena Setién — Another Kind Of Revolution (Thrill Jockey)
Endon — Boy Meets Girl (Thrill Jockey)
Florida George Line — Can’t Say I Ain’t Country (Big Machine)
Gemma Ray — Psychogeology (Bronzerat)
Golden Daze — Simpatico (Autumn Tone Records)
Greg Jacquin — Clocks Slow Down (self-released)
Hajk — Drama (Jansen Records)
Hayes Carll — What It Is (Dualtone Music Group, Inc.)
Holiday Ghosts — West Bay Playroom (PNKSLM Recordings)
Holiday Gunfire — Holiday Gunfire (Cornelius Chapel Records)
Homeshake — Helium (Royal Mountain Records)
Hugh Marsh — Volinvocations (estern Vinyl)
Insane Clown Posse — Fearless Fred Fury (Psychopathic Records)
Jon Fratelli (of The Fratellis) — Bright Night Flowers (Cooking Vinyl)
Komraus — Untie The Ropes (M.A.R.S. Music)
Ladytron — Ladytron (Nettwerk)
The Long Ryders — Psychedelic Country Soul (Omnivore Recordings)
Lucille Furs — Another Land (Treehouse Record Co.)
Marlon Hoffstadt — Simple Communication EP (Midnight Themes)
Methyl Ethel — Triage (4AD)
Millencolin — SOS (Epitaph Records)
The Munsens — Unhanded (Sailor Records)
Nubiyan Twist — Jungle Run (Strut Records)
Peter Mulvey — There Is Another World (Righteous Babe)
Perfect Son — Cast (Sub Pop)
Picture This — Mdrn Lv (Universal Records)
Piroshka — Brickbat (Bella Union)
Quin Galavis — Victim / Non-Victim (Super Secret Records)
Rina Mushonga — In A Galaxy ([PIAS] Recordings Holland)
Ry X — Unfurl (Infectious Music)
Ryan Bingham — American Love Song (Axster Bingham Records)
Savage Mansion — Revision Ballads (Lost Map Records)
Seth Walker — Are You Open? (Royal Potato Family)
Shiny Darkly — Bronze (Crunchy Frog Records)
Shook Twins — Some Good Lives (Dutch Records)
Signo Rojo — End Of Tether EP (No Echo at THIS LOCATION)
Sir Babygirl — Crush On Me (Father/Daughter Records)
SP’s — Rise/Fall EP (Baby Robot Records)
Stats (of Dua Lipa) — Other People’s Lives (Memphis Industries)
Swmrs — Berkeley’s On Fire (Fueled by Ramen)
Trdmrk — Trdmrk EP (Hot Plate Records)
Tourist — Everyday (Monday Records)
Volcano — The Island (Tee Pee)
Voyou — Les Bruits De La Ville (Entreprise)
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal — Suffer On (Run For Cover Records)
Woman’s Hour — Ephyra (Practise Music)
Xixa — The Code EP (Dust & Stone Records)
Yann Tiersen — All (Mute Records)
Young Hunting — True Believers (Gold Robot Records)
Friday, February 22
A Fragile Tomorrow — Generation Loss (The ILS Group)
Adia Victoria — Silences (Canvasback/ATL)
Andreya Triana — Life In Colour (Hi-Tea Records)
Andy Frasco — Change Of Pace (Fun Machine Records)
Badflower — Ok, I’m Sick (Big Machine Records/John Varvatos Records)
Bayonne — Drastic Measures (Mom + Pop Music)
Bellows — The Rose Gardener (Topshelf)
Benny Sings — City Pop (Stones Throw Records)
Booze Control — Forgotten Lands (Gates Of Hell Records)
Burnt Tapes — Never Better (Wiretap Records)
Candlemass — The Door To Doom (Napalm Records)
Chris Welch And The Cicada Killers — Shook (Denton independent)
The Claypool Lennon Delirium — South Of Reality (ATO)
Cochemea Gastelum — All My Relations (Daptone Records)
Cyrille Aimée — Move On: A Sondheim Adventure (Mack Avenue Music Group)
Dead Witches — The Final Exorcism (Heavy Psych Sounds)
Down To The Bunker — Misery (Tenacity Music)
Dream Theater — Distance Over Time (InsideOut Music)
Drekka — No Tracks In The Snow (Dais Records)
Drenge — Strange Creatures (Infectious Music)
Dronte — Quelque Part Entre La Guerre Et La Lâcheté (Apathia Records)
Emilie Kahn — Outro (Secret City Records)
Feed Me — High Street Creeps (Mau5trap)
Feels — Post Earth (Wichita Recordings)
Fling — Fling Or Die (Dance to the Radio)
Funeral Advantage — Nectarine (Sleep Well Records)
Gatekeeper — Grey Maiden EP (Cruz Del Sur Music)
Ghost Iris — Apple Of Discord (Long Branch Records)
Ghost Ship Octavius — Delirium (Iceburn Multimedia)
Gypsy Chief Goliath — Masters Of Space And Time (Kozmik Artifactz)
Haulm — Posture EP (Grand Jury Music)
Higher Brothers — Five Stars (88rising)
Hot 8 Brass Band — Take Cover EP (Tru Thoughts)
Idyll Green — When Love Ends, Be The Water EP (Guac, Don’t Run)
James Yorkston — The Route To The Harmonium (Domino Recording Company)
Jocelyn & Chris Arndt — The Fun In The Fight (Bridge Road Entertainment)
Julia Jacklin — Crushing (Liberation Records)
Kim Lenz — Slowly Speeding (Blue Star Record Company)
King Apathy — Wounds (Lifeforce Records)
Lil Halima — For The Dark Days EP (Universal Music/Def Jam Recordings Norway)
Lil Pump — Harverd Dropout (Warner Bros.)
Lily & Madeline — Canterbury Girls (New West Records)
Luther Russell — Medium Cool (Fluff and Gravy)
Major Murphy — Lafayette EP (Winspear)
Martin Frawley (of Twerps) — Undone At 31 (Merge Records)
Maxïmo Park — As Long As We Keep Moving (Cooking Vinyl Limited)
Michael Rother (of Neu!) — Solo (Groenland Records)
MSB — Short Stories (CEN/The Orchard)
Mxmjoy (Maximum Joy) — P.E.A.C.E ()London Field Recordings
Moving Panoramas — In Two (Modern Outsider)
Murray A. Lightburn — Hear Me Out (Dangerbird Records)
Mykele Deville — Maintain (No Trend)
Nakhane — You Will Not Die (BMG Rights Mgmt France SARL)
The National Lights — Whom The Sea Will Keep EP (BloodShake Records)
The O’Jays — The Last Word (S-Curve)
Peter Bjorn And John — EPBJ EP (INGRID)
R. Stevie Moore — Afterlife (Bar/None Records)
Red Beard Wall — The Fight Needs Us All (Argonauta Records)
RKCB — Shores EP (AllPoints)
Sanhedrin — The Poisoner (High Roller Records)
The Saxophones — Singing Desperately Suite EP (Full Time Hobby)
Sleaford Mods — Eton Alive (Extreme Eating Records)
Spelling — Mazy Fly (Sacred Bones Records)
Susanna & The Brotherhood Of Our Lady — Garden Of Earthly Delights (SusannaSonata)
Susto — Ever Since I Lost My Mind (Rounder Records)
Tedeschi Trucks Band — Signs (FanTasy)
Telekinesis — Effluxion (Merge Records)
Vandoliers — Forever (Bloodshot Records)
Various Artists — Kitsuné Parisien 4 (Kitsune)
Yola — Walk Through Fire (Easy Eye Sound/Nonesuch)
source https://uproxx.com/music/new-albums-coming-out-this-month-february-2019/
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Last Updated March 18th 2024
Hello everyone I'm Star! I am:
30+ | Non-Binary | She/They Pronouns. Please!
Married | Bisexual | From the North-East US
This is my FFXIV Hub Blog where you will find things associated with but not limited to:
My OCs/My Friends OCs
My GPOSE Work/Other's GPOSE Work
My FFXIV Writes Stories/Other's FFXIV Writes Stories
Macro Dancing Performances/ How to Guides
Art, lots and lots of it, I like to promote artists when I can!
Wol Questions of the Day Answers
FFXIV Event Announcements
A Link to my OC Hub Carrd
A Link to my GPOSE Portfolio, I do commissions!
Links to my IC Character Inspiration Blogs
Anything Else FFXIV that I find!
A way to get in touch with me
My Main FFXIV OCs
Dimitri Jienuex
Dimitri is Viviane's brother who was raised in Old Sharlayan his common themes are: Being an occult investigator working for the Adders, Painting, Old Books and Maps, Performing when the mood strikes, Learning about the Shroud, and exploring life outside of Sharlayan.
Inspiration Tumblr
Carrd
Dimitri is looking to:
Make friends he can hang out with!
Take on cases dealing with cults, ritual magic, malfunctioning relics and artifacts, and missing persons (always open to your ideas as well!)
Hear the news from Old Sharlyan! (is your character Sharlyan he would love to meet them. Pre-arranged hooks possible!)
Baroness Viviane Jienuex -Vimaroix
A runaway Ishgardian Noble ends up in the Shroud where they meet the loves of their life and come to understand what life is all about. Their most common themes are: Life as a Performer, Adventuring, Owning a Bakery, Tarot Reading, Nymeia Worship, and Slice of Life-Family Themes.
Carrd
Inspiration Tumblr
Viviane is looking to:
Meet other Nobles from Ishgard as well as other lands.
Network with other performers (duets and group numbers welcome)
Do Tarot Card Readings for the Community at Large
Visit Bakeries, Cafes, and restaurants to expand her knowledge.
Doctor Xixa Loonsi
A once Conjury student and Hearer from Stillglade Fane tells the Padjal where they can shove their rules and laws then embarks out on her own to have the life that she dreamed of. Her most common themes are: Conjury The Elements, Medicine (high interest in odd illnesses with no known cure), Medicinal Herbs, Medicine Making (Alchemy), Shroud Politics, Magic Lessons, and Menphina Worship.
Carrd
Inspiration Tumblr
Xixa is looking to:
Meet others from the Shroud
Make Professional Connections with other Doctors
See new Patients with odd illnesses
Have open discussions with like minds
Feel free to look me up on Twitter and Blue Sky as well. Thank You for reading!!
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FFXIV Writes 2023 | Day 16 | Jerk
Dimitri meets the Conjurer who will be doing his woodsin cleansing, only to find out she may actually be a Shroud Witch.
“Watch Out!” A voice called from the path that led up to the Cottage, and it certainly wasn’t a familiar one, Dimitri realized as he jerked his neck and torso quickly away from where they originally were only to feel a sharp pain ignite in his neck and shoulder, moments before a branch fell from the largest tree in the yard and fell where he had been standing only moments earlier. Which caused him to flail and fall over himself.
“How did you..” Off his voice traveled as a small Miqo’te woman approached him, she had black hair with graying temples and glasses so large they took up most of her face; the basket hanging over her arm was stuffed to the brim and covered with a checkered cloth to keep everything including his eyes out. “Who are you?” he finally asked curiously, watching the woman as she came closer.
“Gotta watch out for those things, especially when you got the woodsin around you.” Her nose wiggled as she sniffed at him and she sneezed from what she caught there, her head shaking. “Have to be careful until we get you through that ritual. Names Xixa Loonsi, a friend of your Aunt Doshaine when she was alive. I am the one Viviane has sent to do your cleansing. Do you need my credentials too, Sonny? Or can we not worry about that? The Shroud is trying to kill you so the sooner we get that woodsin off of you, the less chance you have of ending up in a grave. Let’s go inside, I have some salve I can put on your neck so that muscle doesn’t seize up.” and off she padded towards the door without even offering him a hand up.
“Twelve of the women in my family have interesting friends.” He muttered to himself, finally getting up off the ground and following the Miqo’te up the stairs to the door. The interesting thing was the door just opened for her. There was no standing there all day, no slamming a fist into the wood repeatedly. There was just the door opening and her going inside, only for the damn thing to close right behind her before Dimitri could get in the door leaving him to stand out there yet again, begging the magic that secured the wards to let him in, and like usual they did not listen.
“Oi, you are a mess, Sonny,” Xixa called from the window, where she now leaned, eating an apple while watching him struggle with the door. “She warned me that you aren’t much of a believer just yet, but we’ll make one out of you. Now the first lesson I will give you, if it is made out of something born in the shroud it is filled with some form of Elemental Magic. Now keep in mind everything was exposed to the Calamity when it tore through here. The Elements are technically sleeping, well at least the big ones are. There are sprites everywhere and anywhere however that will make your life a living corner of one of the seven hells if you let them. Now with that out of the way. What Aethers are you skilled at?”
“Earth” Dimitri lied straight-faced, staring at the woman, who he now realized what the Shroud Witch Vi promised to send him. This caused him to grasp the handle on the door, and try to jerk it open, only to be met with a burst of aether that practically sat him on his rear on the front porch.
“I could have told you not to do that. I could also tell you not to spin your fibs with me either. I can see when a man lies, their tongue turns bright green and glows even in the darkest night!” A wide smile appeared on her face, showing off the cat-like fangs that occupied her mouth. What was even odder was that she just kept on staring at Dimitri as if she was waiting for something to happen.
Without thinking the Sharlayan stuck out his tongue, lifting his glasses to try and look down on it, practically admitting he had not only lied but was incredibly gullible at the same time. “Oh you are going to be a fun one, Sonny.” The Miqo’te cackled loudly. “You just gave yourself away. Now let’s try it again luv, what Aethers are you aligned to.”
Back into his mouth, his tongue went and he sighed dramatically. Nophica’s tits this was going to be a day, he could feel it already. “Earth is my preferred” he started again pushing himself to carry on “But I possess talents that come from the internal Chakras like a Monk and are largely unaspected aether that I infuse with an aether of my choice. The only known Aether I have no success with at all is the one termed Darkness. I have worked in every other one at various skills and levels since I was a child.” As soon as he got it all laid out, he heard the door handle click, and then the door opened on its own to welcome him in.
“I’ve got the mask! My boyfr.. My partner! Made it for me.” He said with a happy note in his voice. Just thinking of Laurent made him feel better, even when the rest of the world made him feel lost.”
“Today’s third lesson is the Elements can hear you, you just can’t hear them unless you are like me and a handful of others in the guild. Not every Conjurer is a Hearer and not every normal person isn’t. You don’t have to be in the Guild to hear them speak, but you likely don’t know what to do with the talent if you have it. That is lesson fifty or so we will worry about it then. Come in, let’s have tea” Disappearing from the window, the sound of the fire starting under a kettle of water could be heard echoing throughout the small main room before Dimitri even got inside.
“Try that again and with the truth,” Xaia said in a less than amused tone, looking suspiciously around the cottage as if she were waiting for something to try and fall on him again.
“My boyfriend! We don’t use titles.” Dimitri protested.
“Your mouth might not but your mind does. Have you asked him what he wants to be called?” She was beginning to sound like the cross of a Mother and a Teacher to him. Both of which were going to wear on his nerves before long, part of the process, but still uncomfortable as a grown Elezen.
“It is complicated. We’ve both been hurt. Things take time, you know.”
“Mmhmm.” Xaia agreed, “Ask him again.” and off she went to stand by the teapot leaving Dimitri to lower himself into the couch and look after her thoughtfully.
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Fire & Leeches - Ch. 5
Summary: Modern!AU (with magic.) Xixa is… well, not really enjoying but not hating a night out with Asra at one of Vesuvia’s famed clubs. However, her curiosity and interest become piqued when a particular band takes the stage.
Chapter Summary: Julian and Muriel visit Xixa at her shoppe. Death comes to visit.
Ao3 Link
Tumblr Links: Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4
“Is Asra here?” Muriel asked, his voice deep and gentle. Julian didn’t meet Xixa’s eyes as she turned curious eyes on him. Internally, he cursed Muriel for being so forthright. Couldn’t he have handled this a little more discreetly?
She looked between the two of them, before shaking her head. Faintly, she wondered if Julian would bolt if she muttered an affirmative answer. “No, he left a few days ago. There’s a metaphysics convention somewhere up north.”
Muriel turned toward Julian, a slightly put-out edge to his voice, “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can you manage?”
The flush finally crawled over Julian’s cheeks, feeling like he had been reprimanded for being childish. Of course, he couldn’t blame Muriel’s irritation. His friend – too – had to listen to the redhead bemoan and pine over his phone for the last couple weeks, waiting for a text from Xixa. Still, Julian puffed up a little in irritation, but nodded. Muriel, satisfied with Julian’s wordless reply, wandered off toward the books, stopping to scrutinize a wolf statue on the way.
Xixa and Julian stood by the front door, awkwardly. Neither knowing where to look. Xixa had gathered, from the exchange between the two, that Julian held apprehensions over seeing Asra. Or maybe being seen by the magician? It boiled down to the same thing, regardless.
“So,” Xixa pressed her lips together, not entirely sure how to start a sudden conversation. It was easier with alcohol. She fell back into her salesperson routine, “Are you looking for anything, in particular?”
“You, to be perfectly honest.”
“Oh,” A flare of heat crawled down the back of her neck. Xixa’s mind scrabbled for a witty retort and simply landed on, “Um, so the scrubs?”
He glanced down at his uniform. After a moment’s debate, Julian decided on his answer. “I work at the hospital. Remember?”
Xixa fingered through her memories of that night. All the things said, all the feelings. She suppressed a shudder, thinking of the touches shared, and found the words she sought, “Oh, right, your morgue connections and the hearse.”
“Not as entertaining now that you’re sober, is it?” This was something Julian feared. If all of her amusement at the Garden had been assisted with inebriation. Right now, he could use a drink.
“I wouldn’t say that,” she flashed a slight smile. Her eyes took on a mischievous glint as she trailed her gaze down him. “I have many of the same opinions from that night.”
This time, the flash of heat went down Julian’s body. He averted his eye as a flush crept over his cheeks, finding his gaze trailing toward the collection of tarot cards. On impulse, he said, “So, do you do readings?”
“Allegedly, I’m the best diviner in the city. Next to Asra, but he’s hardly around, so…” Xixa finished her commentary with a shrug. As if to say, ‘it doesn’t really matter.’ In truth, it didn’t really to her. Even when she gave readings, more than half of her clients were first-timers who didn’t listen. The rest listened to her a little too intently. Xixa had to establish a one reading per day rule, otherwise people were calling her up, asking her what they should order at Le Restaurant or what channel they should watch for optimum entertainment.
“Read my cards?” Julian turned his gaze toward Xixa. Only a handful of fortunetellers and witches had ever read his cards. To be honest, he was left less than impressed. Except for when Asra had done it. Julian caught Xixa’s gaze flickering to his companion with uncertainty. Following her gaze, he waved her worries away. “Muriel will be fine.”
Apprehension licked at Xixa’s mind, though. Usually, she scheduled readings for preparation. The day had been slow, but leaving Muriel to the front meant potential customers may wander in and maybe even ask him questions. She could just lock the door, but then she missed window shoppers.
The way Julian watched her, a mixture of challenge and yearning, in his eye forced Xixa’s hand, though.
“All right, follow me.” She led the way through a curtained doorway, into the back room. Compared to the front, this room had been decorated for atmosphere. A single table sat in the middle of the room, draped in a tablecloth. Lanterns hung from the ceiling, swathed in sheer draperies that seemed to be born from the walls. A squat bookshelf held Xixa’s preferred methods of divining: tarot and oracle cards or, if the mood struck her, her crystal ball. On a lower shelf, bags of runes and a case that held her pendulums sat, a little dustier. On the very top of the bookshelf, an incense burner sat next to several scents.
Julian inhaled sharply, remembering this room. Memories of when it looked different, of coming back here with the magician, ticked at his brain. Xixa didn’t seem to notice his reaction as she bent down to go through a rather extensive shelve of tarot cards.
Out of habit, Xixa reached for her most commonly used deck. However, she paused. Her first deck, and the most used, was a deck from Asra. Would Julian recognize it? Xixa didn’t want to chance upsetting him. Her fingertips skimmed over the cards, landing on a group that tugged at her energies.
As she sat down at the table, shuffling the cards in hand to charge them with her energies, she eyed Julian. He had taken a seat at the table, as to be expected. He lounged in the chair across from her, the scrubs clashing with his almost cavalier attitude. Though he seemed at ease, his eye watched her with an almost nervous intensity. Clearing her throat, Xixa managed to ask, “What would you like to ask the cards?”
“Uh…” Shit, he hadn’t really put much thought into that. “How’s the rest of my year going to go?”
Xixa tried to keep herself from wincing. It was a go-to “simple” question for the cards, from the eyes of someone unfamiliar with tarot reading. She found it so much harder, though, than simply asking what the day, week, or – at most – the month held in store. A year? It just seemed to strain the cards and herself. But, she focused her energy and shuffled the cards, gently.
She waited until her fingertips itched with energy. Flipping over a card, she quietly prayed it wasn’t ‘Lovers.’ She wasn’t going to keep a straight face if it was that card. Sometimes, this deck liked to tease her.
“Death.”
Okay, cards, let’s not go completely the other way.
The two stared at Death, Julian with obviously more apprehension. He shifted in his seat, lips twisted into a frown. “So, I suppose I should start divvying up my estate?”
“It doesn’t mean it like that.” Xixa sighed. People tended to freak out when Death came calling in the cards. Picking up the Death card, she closed her eyes and focused, trying to find the best words for this particular situation. “It’s circumstantial and Death isn’t saying you’ll die. It’s about the metaphorical death of situations and feelings. Though, I can’t guarantee it won’t be painful, you’ll finally put some a big issue – or multiple issues – to rest. And then you can move on.”
When she opened her eyes, Julian’s heavy gaze studied the table cloth. Though she couldn’t see his eye, she could feel an inner struggle radiating from him.
“I actually like the Death card, to be honest.” Xixa laid the card down gently, garnering Julian’s attention. Her gaze traced the image on the familiar card. The card depicted a figure in profile, shrouded in a black cloak or coat. It wore a beak-like mask, carrying a bag in one hand and an iconic scythe in the other. Behind the figure, a cascade of glowing blue flowers, in various states of bloom, trailed after their feet. Meanwhile before them, silhouettes of sickly trees stretched before them. “Shucking old pains, overcoming, heading off into a new life, so to speak. It starts with the death of an old situation that may be problematic or simply not ideal for you.”
Sudden weight on the table made Xixa look. Julian leaned his elbow on the table, chin cupped in his hand and a masked look in his eye. His gaze fell down to the card, studying the image. “You know, plague doctors were awful human beings?”
“Oh?”
“They did all sorts of nasty things to their patients. Blood-letting, leeches, baking mercury-coated patients in an oven are just a few examples.” His other hand counted off the transgressions, before curling in on itself. “A lot of them had never been through any sort of medical training, either. Fakes.”
“I see,” Xixa smiled, slightly narrowing her eyes. Intuition was telling her Julian’s feelings were of a more personal nature, warping plague doctors into something closer to home. What the truth was, Xixa wasn’t sure. “I’m sure some were trying their best, though. To keep patients alive and well.”
Julian let out a bark of laughter, rough and loud. And none too funny. It was bitter and, to Xixa, sounded a bit self-deprecating.
Tentatively, she decided to poke at the negative energy surrounding Julian. “You seem to be in a bad mood.”
“It’s nothing,” he muttered, gaze drawing away from her.
Xixa slipped the Death card back into the deck and shuffled them. It kept her hands busy. “In my experience, my clients talking about how the reading makes them feel gives me more insight.”
Julian heaved a sigh. “It’s just so vague and there’s so many situations that could end. My job at the hospital, for starters, stresses me out. Long hours, long nights, little appreciation. Then there’s the band and general inner turmoil things. And then there’s-” Julian stopped short. He had almost spat out ‘you and Asra’ to Xixa’s face. A flush clawed across his face.
“And then there’s…?”
Something about Xixa’s soft tone drew the word from his lips. “You. You’re Asra’s… something and you could be screwing with me and you didn’t even text me… Ugh!” Julian sharply leaned back in his chair, covering his eye with his hand. The chair creaked under his weight and sudden position shift. “I’m sounding like a teenager. Maybe, I shouldn’t have even come here.”
There was a beat of silence between them. Xixa’s eyes wide, not quite caught off-guard by Julian’s words – since she had shared some of the thoughts – but still surprised. Realizing the situation, soft laughter started to fall from her lips. This was like an awful romantic comedy; both being too awkward or uncertain to text back? Worries about Asra’s connection – past and present – to each other?
Julian bristled as soon as she started snickering, one word echoing in his thoughts: Leave. Suddenly, he pushed away from the table and started for the exit. The witch scurried from the table, blocking his exit and holding up her hands. Julian stopped just as her hands pressed against his chest, sending gentle tingles down his abdomen.
“Those weren’t aimed at you,” she gasped, trying to swallow down more laughter. To her, hearing Julian actually talk to her about things made her somehow giddy. Living with Asra, she had forgotten how nice it was to have someone she cared about confide in her. Or suddenly bombard her with personal feelings. Plus, knowing he wanted to text, but was waiting for her, tickled at something in her. “Well, I mean, they kind of were, but also at myself.”
Julian stared down at her, face flushed and uncomprehending. He looked unsure and almost wary. Xixa hadn’t forgotten his worries over her connection to Asra. How many obnoxious movies and stories involved an ex getting revenge on another ex through a third party?
“I wanted to text you, but with all the past stuff between you and Asra, I thought I should give you the opportunity to text first.” Xixa started explaining, her hands drifting from his chest when she was sure he wasn’t going to dart off. “Plus, there had been drinking that night and…” Xixa’s words trailed off, face flushing as she remembered Julian writhing against the brick wall, “otherthings that happened and I wasn’t sure if you even wanted to talk to me, again.”
As her rambling died down, Xixa’s gaze flickered toward the floor. She suddenly felt very juvenile and vulnerable. Julian stared at her, surprised at her own personal confession. Asra had been… difficult for him. And the following dalliances had been brief distractions, one after the other; sometimes repeated.
Her imagination wouldn’t abandon the image of Julian writhing in the alleyway, though. It kept creeping up in Xixa’s mind. A tingling blush bit at her cheeks. She bit the inside of her cheek, unable to bring her eyes to him. The witch wasn’t entirely sure what she’d do, completely sober, with that image flaring through her brain.
Apparently, Julian had his own ideas. His palms brushed the sides of her face, fingers burying into her hair, and tilting Xixa’s face up toward him. The kiss came on fast, but gentle. Soft touch of lips on lips, eyes fluttering shut, heat rising. A trace of neediness slipped into the kiss, drawing the two closer together.
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Fire & Leeches - Ch. 2 Esotericana
Chapter 1
Ao3 Link
Chapter summary: (Modern Band AU + Magic) After aiding the lead singer in avoiding an overeager fan, Xixa meets with the rest of the band backstage. Things are said, alcohol-assisted flirting is done, mistakes are made.
The back area was a lot larger than Xixa thought. Grey hallways, much different from the warm and colorful designs of the main areas, twisted and turned in a small labyrinth. However, her companion navigated it with a sense of familiarity, and soon they were at a slightly ajar dressing room door.
He kicked it further open and announced, cheerfully, “I’m back!”
Xixa poked her head into room, drinking in the details. In a palette of blues and greens, it wasn’t quite the luxurious room the witch was imagining. A large, brightly lit vanity nearly took up an entire wall, reflecting the innards of the room. Posters plastered the walls, some torn and some autographed. Racks of clothes and costumes lined the wall across from the door; ribbons, sequins, neon colors, and more. The scent of cigarette smoke clung to the walls, though none of the current members seemed to be partaking.
The rest his band mates lounged on various bits of threadbare furniture in the room. The drummer claimed an armchair to herself, legs dangling over one arm while she rested her back against the other. Sitting on the couch, quiet and strangely easy to overlook, the hulking guitarist sat, reading a book.
“Ugh, you brought a groupie back here?” And that left Braid, who sat straight on the lumpy couch, long legs crossed before him. His nose wrinkled as his eyes flickered over Xixa. A sudden wave of embarrassment flashed over her. This was silly. They were probably tired from their show and didn’t want to deal with her. Plus, she wasn’t anticipating all of them being present when she tried her subtle interrogation on Asra’s ex.
“Shut up, Rius, at least he got the drinks without any more ‘malfunctions.’” The other woman hopped up from her chair, snatching a beer before they could even be set down. Xixa followed her companion further into the room, still holding her own share of the drinks. Following his motions, she set the extra bottles onto the coffee table.
“She helped me avoid Fieura. This is…” The redhead trailed off, eye widening and his ears pinking with embarrassment. He glanced toward Xixa, apology quirking his brows. “I didn’t catch your name.”
‘Rius’ reached over to snatch one of the fancier bottles from the clustered drinks and sniffed, “Shameless.”
“Xixa,” she answered, ignoring Braid’s aside. Apparently, he had opinions about Julian bringing fans to the back. Or maybe it the comment was aimed toward her. She didn’t care, either way.
“Well, you know Julian, I’m sure.” The redheaded woman grinned as she leaned toward Xixa, her blue eyes sparkling with a teasing glint. Xixa wasn’t sure she completely understood the teasing nature, but smiled anyway. Satisfied with the reaction, the other woman went on, indicating herself and the others in the room with a sweep of her hand, “I’m Portia. Big ‘n tall over there is Muriel and this lush here is Valerius.”
Xixa nodded as the introductions were made, waving a little uselessly. Well, now what? God, she was so awkward. And her head felt fuzzy.
Julian swaggered to the empty spot on the couch, drink in hand. His long legs splayed out before him, pants tight along his thighs and… other areas. After a gulp of his drink, he motioned to the room at large with a friendly grin, “Sit wherever you’d like, Xixa.”
Wherever? Her brain tittered at the thought, eyeing his lap. The cushioned stool, squatting beneath the brightly lit vanity table, was probably the safer bet. But, something buzzed, goading, in her synapses. Before she could talk down the mischief lighting along her thoughts, Xixa found herself crossing the room and lowering herself to one of his legs.
The man nearly choked on his drink. A dark red blush crawling over his face as he moved a hand over his mouth, covering his sputters.
“Oh, she’s got your number, Jules.” Portia snickered from behind her bottle. Valerius made a disgusted gagging sound, but didn’t say a word. Muriel still hadn’t looked up from his book.
“You did say anywhere,” Xixa smiled, with overt mock-innocence. “But I’m sure this is uncomfortable for you.”
Just as she shifted to move, Julian’s free arm snaked out behind her waist, hand landing on her hip with a squeeze. A hot jolt of inexplicable delight shot to her core. His eye stared into her face, the gaze somehow intense but soft, “No, it’s fine.”
A thrill shot down Xixa’s body. What had she gotten herself into?
Before either of them could forget the audience present, Portia broke the moment. “So, how’d you like the show, Xixa?”
“I enjoyed it,” Xixa looked over to Portia, relieved to tear her gaze away from Julian. Portia had flopped back down into the armchair. As Xixa shifted, Julian adjusted his hold slightly to steady her. The witch wracked her brain for things to say. What did you tell a band without sounding like a huge kiss-ass? “This was the first time I’ve seen you guys perform, but it seems you have a pretty decent fan base.”
Halfway through his second beer already, Valerius made a sucking sound against his teeth and groused, “It’d be larger if someone kept it in their pants.”
“After the delay today,” Xixa caught Julian’s eye, the corner of her lips quirked into a grin, “It sounds like he has a lot of problems with pants.”
The lead singer flushed, averting his gaze as he took a gulp of his beer. Across the room, Portia snickered. The witch was beginning to relax. This socializing thing was so hard! Or maybe that was just the synapses, still buzzing with alcohol.
“Ugh, please don’t tell him to take them off,” Valerius heaved a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He chugged the rest of his drink, making his way to a third bottle.
“Maybe we should save that for a show one day,” Portia chimed in with a slight cackle. “Bet that’d up our fan numbers.”
Ignoring his bandmates’ jabs, Julian squeezed Xixa’s hip, asking with an incline of his head, “What else did you think?”
“Well, I’m not really musically minded, to be honest. So, take what I say with a grain of salt,” somewhere in the back of her mind, she was freaking out. This was too much attention on her, especially on her opinion of something she had no clue about. Alcohol-infused synapses spurred on her words and opinions, though. “The imagery in the lyrics appealed to me, like: Noose around my neck, starstrand in hand, / I take a swan dive and find a more forgiving land. But there were a lot of lines that reminded me of high school poetry.”
Her answer was greeted with silence. Glancing around awkwardly, she worried she’d said something that upset them. Portia grinned around her beer, amusement dancing in her eyes. Muriel raised their book, obscuring their face from view. Julian shifted awkwardly. Despite feeling she had made a misstep, her mouth continued talking. “Big Heart, Big Tiddies got a catchy beat, too.”
A peal of laughter cascaded from Portia, kicking her legs out and banging an amused tattoo on the floor. “You just came for our creative throats then try to assuage us by saying our jokiest song is catchy. I can’t with you!”
“So, what do you do, then?” Valerius asked, an icy edge to his voice. Xixa recognized that tone. That was the ‘does your job give you the right to have such high opinions’ tone. She’d heard it more than a few times while working at her store.
“I work in an occult store.” It never occurred to Xixa that this could be greeted with awkwardness or, even, hostility. Magic was abundant and Vesuvia, being a rather large city, had its fair share of magicians, witches, warlocks, and the like. However, Julian’s body tensed under her. The others in the room shifted uneasily. There was a sudden dusting of instability in the amused atmosphere. For the first time, since Xixa entered, Muriel slowly lowered their book and turned to look at her.
Julian cleared his throat, as if trying to dislodge something there, before asking, “Which store?”
Alarms keened in the back of her head. There was a subtle tenseness to the man, now. As if he were an animal ready to fight or flee. For a split second, Xixa debated on lying or making up a name. But habit got the better of her. “Esotericana.”
Julian all but shoved her off his lap and stood, quietly leaving the room. Xixa stumbled, but didn’t fall. She threw him a confused look. He didn’t even look back. A deathly quiet descended on the room. An almost electric distaste filled the air. Even in Xixa’s state, she could feel the auras in the room take on a negative vibe.
“Alright,” Portia stood, all smiles and grins gone. She grabbed Xixa by her elbow, hauling the woman to the door with surprising strength. “I think you’ve stayed long enough.”
xxx
The sounds of The Garden blared into Xixa’s ears as Portia shoved her out of the door. A jarring difference from the quiet, enjoyable back area. Ambient body heat, loud laughter, music over the speakers. It was all too much input, now.
Portia grabbed Xixa by the collar of her shirt, lips curled into a snarl. “If that bastard sent you to do anything to my brother–”
“Who?” It took Xixa a moment to realize ‘brother’ meant Julian and ‘bastard’ meant Asra.
“Oooh, I swear–” Portia held up a first under Xixa’s nose.
“No, no, no.” Xixa held up her hands. Her head swam with wobbly thoughts, but she had enough wits about her to figure out the situation. Rubbing the palms of her hands against her eyes, she muttered an apology, “I don’t drink a lot, my head’s swimming. I’m… I’m guessing this has to do with Asra?”
“You’re guessing right!” Portia pushed Xixa away, causing the woman to stumble back. The redhead pointed at the witch, as if accusing her of some tremendous crime. “Coming in here, all flirty and shit! Get out of here before I shove my boot up your ass!”
“Wait, I just… I don’t know what I did wrong. I was enjoying myself.” Xixa’s lips twisted into a frown as her mind retraced the conversation. It had been the answer of her workplace that did this! They knew Asra worked there, so they thought she was up to something. This needed damage control. Quickly. “I mean, I wanted to ask about Asra after your performance – it’s so hard to get him to talk about anything – but you guys had packed it up. When Julian got accosted by my table, I was sincerely just being nice.”
The drummer leered at Xixa, arms crossed and lips twisted nearly into a snarl. The witch thought, maybe, Portia was just going to give her the silent treatment. Her feet were about to shuffle her off, like a scolded dog, when the redhead asked an abrupt question, “What do you think of of my brother?”
“Oh, uh…” Heat licked over Xixa’s face. Her hands curled around the strap of her purse, worrying the faux leather with her nails. A more reserved part of her brain shuddered at the question. What did she think of him? She had just met him. Her intuitive side took over, though, given more free reign with a little alcohol in Xixa. The witch closed her eyes, trying to grab onto her thoughts before they disappeared, “He doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Sweet, good-natured. Kind of dorky, but I think it’s endearing.”
Xixa hadn’t realized she’d been smiling until she opened her eyes. Portia’s expression made her abundantly self-conscious. The smile drifted away, but the warmth of replaying the last hour or so in the dressing room remained. Her fingertips couldn’t help but fiddle with her purse strap.
“Alright, I believe you,” Portia grudgingly said after a beat. She adjusted her footing. “But you’re attached to the magician and I don’t want to go down that path with Jules again. So, just go.”
The witch turned to leave, but paused. Guilt swelled in her chest, even though she didn’t feel she had done anything wrong.
“Okay. Can you let him know I’m sorry?” Xixa bit at the inside of her cheek as Portia raised her eyebrows, a slight fire still burning in her blue eyes. “For upsetting him? I didn’t mean to.”
Before disappearing into the back, Portia gave a terse nod. Standing at The Garden, alone and surrounded by people, Xixa felt a cold chill climb up her spine. Tears pricked at her eyes. She had been having fun. That was rare, considering her only friend was Asra and he often left her alone. Still clutching her purse like a lifeline, Xixa made a beeline for the exit.
#the arcana game#thearcanagame#julian devorak#portia devorak#muriel#valerius#julian devorak x mc#julian x mc#my writing
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Memories - Ch. 2 Confrontation
Chapter Summary: With memories returned to Xixa and Julian, pains arise. Unable to take the confusion around the doctor and the magician, Xixa takes off into the night. Meanwhile, Asra and Julian are left to a confrontation of their own.
Posted the previous chapter on Tumblr, but I’ve put this story on my Ao3. I figured it was an easier format. So, here’s a link for easier access!
When Xixa surfaced from her reverie, she felt like a drowning person finally breaking the surf. Her mind wobbled around her. Her fingers curled, clenching into soft fabric. Someone held her, repeated her name with concern as their hands held her up.
Her eyes turned upward, zeroing on the source of the noise. A grey eye stared down at her, a blur of black where another eye should be, a shock of red hair. Red hair like blood.
So much blood.
She shoved herself away from Julian, stumbling back. A hot driblet coasted down her cheek and she swiped it away, shocked to realize she was still crying. Her gaze swiveled from the doctor to the magician, heart pounding. She wanted to sound righteously angry, to boom like the heavens, but Xixa found her words coming out like a breathless, watery whimper. “You… You both cut into my brain?”
The expression that shot over Julian’s face painted a picture of horror and regret. His eye wide, his lips twisted into a condemned frown. His hand dug into his hair, his thumb inconspicuously rubbing at his temple. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Xixa. If I had known, I wouldn’t have…”
Whatever Julian wouldn’t have done died with that sentence. He couldn’t return his eyes to Xixa’s face. She whipped her gaze from him to his accomplice, seeking an answer.
Asra remained silent, his mask in place. The mask he used to distance himself from Xixa when she was too close to remembering; the mask he used to put her to sleep, before a scalpel bisected her brain. Of course, she wouldn’t get an answer from him. She never did. Hot anger flared in her chest, burning in her guts.
Xixa couldn’t breath… Or she was breathing too much. Her lungs ached and her chest heaved. Heat ate across her face as adrenaline and confusion licked at her thoughts. She felt like she was back in that operating room, her eyes swiveling to and fro. Her hands clenched into fists, relaxed, and tightened again. She backed out of the sigil, further from Julian and Asra. Her thoughts kept switching to and fro, gifting her with sharp images of the past each second she stared at them.
She needed to make sense of this, to untangle the thoughts and feelings knotted up inside her. Before she could even think of where to start, her feet were running. Xixa pounded out of the shop and into the night, tears blurring her vision while deception chased her through the night. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she had to get away.
“Xixa!” Julian yelled, head snapping up at the sound of the door opening. He jolted for the door, ready to pursue her. The white-haired magician darted in front of the doctor, though, barring his path. “Asra! Get out of the way!”
“Let her go,” Asra muttered, unable to look Julian in the eye. Oh, that look. That shadowy eyed, distant look. Julian despised it. So many nights, agonizing over that distressing sight.
“But she-”
“She’s hurting right now and needs space, Ilya!”
Julian froze. Ice formed in his veins as he turned a cold, grey gaze on Asra. How dare Asra call him that? After… everything? Julian’s clenched his hands, swallowing the urge to punch the magician. He had promised Xixa he’d be nice, tonight. He’d honor that, even if she wasn’t present. Yet, he couldn’t choke down the venom on his tongue. “You’d know about space, would you? Distance keeps you safe, but what about everyone else, Asra?”
The two of them glared at each other in the doorway of the shop. Electric hostility flashed between them. If a moth happened between them, surely it would burn to a crisp.
“You were always too clingy for your own good,” hissed Asra, grabbing Julian by the collar.
“Really? Now?” Julian nearly howled. A cocktail of feelings swarmed his head, pounding his thoughts with conflicting emotions. Maybe it was the revival of the memories, or maybe the feelings he had for Asra never entirely died, but hearing those words from the magician still sent a knife through his gut.
Grabbing Asra by the wrists, Julian easily peeled him from his collar and shoved him away. The doctor moved for the open door, intent on following after Xixa.
A sudden slam to his side sent Julian hurtling against the doorjamb. Asra huffed, eyebrows lowered as he glared, “Yeah, now.”
A small part of Julian didn’t want to do this. The small part that remembered Asra as a light among tedious days of research; the small part that remembered the way his heart fluttered whenever Asra teased or taunted him. However, that part was being drowned out by the pain of fresh-old memories, worry for Xixa, and Julian’s own self-hatred at his past, stupid self.
Julian’s knuckles landed solidly against Asra’s right cheek, sending the magician stumbling out the shop door. The next punch mirrored the first, knocking Asra further into the street. The candlelight from the shop wavered around the two figures, Asra dazedly bumbling and Julian stalking like a hellbent shadow. As Julian snatched Asra by his collar, holding his fist up for a third strike, something gripped at his arm.
The doctor glanced down, meeting a familiar reptilian sight. Faust coiled around his arm, head wobbling low near his elbow. It was as if she was pleading with him to stop. Julian paused, letting his rage-filled fog lift. Slowly, he lowered his fist. Something was wrong.
Asra was a ridiculously powerful sorcerer. He could take away memories. He probably had a slew of spells or hexes he could shoot at Julian. Yet, here he was, limp as a rag doll and not even putting up a fight.
What was he doing, then? Keeping Julian busy and away from Xixa by taking a beating? Maybe, a beating he felt he deserved? The very thoughts resonated in the doctor, on both contrary and kindred levels.
The doctor released Asra and the man fell to his knees, catching himself with one arm while cradling his familiar with the other.
“Remind me to write you a prescription,” Julian growled, while staring down at the heap of magician at his feet. Asra looked up at him, silent and curious as the doctor bent into a crouch. Blood seeped from Asra’s lip and a bruise marked his right cheek. Asra tensed as Julian slid gentle hands to either side of his head, one palm supporting the bruised cheek and the other slightly resting on his busted lip. Julian sneered as the mark on his throat glowed. Slowly, his own lip split and the purple of a bruise licked across his cheek. “For your fucking emotional constipation.”
A few moments later, Asra remained kneeling on the hard ground, staring after the dwindling form of the doctor. His violet eyes wide, unable to comprehend what had just transpired. His physical pain had left with Julian, but a different ache remained. As the doctor hurtled through the night, ready to face the metaphorical gallows for his past crimes against Xixa, Asra remained in the dirt. Alone.
Faust gave a tender squeeze, coiled up his arm. Her tongue flickered out against his neck, whispering against his skin. No, he wasn’t alone, but he was a step closer to losing someone he cared about…
Asra’s fingers dug into the stones beneath him. A pulse of pain shot through his heart and trembled down his arms, into his chest, to his stomach. The ache sunk into his bones. The thought of Xixa leaving – and who would blame her – after what she learned tore him up. Ironic, considering the many times he had left her. Tears dribbled from his eyes, plopping into the dusty road, as he hung his head. Sickness settled in his stomach like a rock; he didn’t deserve forgiveness, but he couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.
“Faust,” Asra whimpered, bringing the snake to his chest. She writhed against him, trying to comfort him. He hunched over the creature as the tears continued to pour out, “What am I going to do?”
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Memories - (Julian x MC)
Chapter 1: So Much Blood
Author’s Note: Feel free to borrow any plot points for your own Arcana Char x MC fic or draw any scenes from this with your MC in place of Xixa, if you like!
Summary: After months of research, Asra and Xixa may have found a way to return lost memories! What happens when those memories bring pain, betrayal, and confusion for Asra, Julian, and Xixa, though?
Eventual Julian x MC. Asra is here, too, but I’m not sure what to do with him, yet. (This is about 4 pages of 11 pages that I’ve written, so there’s more. Don’t worry.)
It seemed like a dream, having Julian and Asra in the same room with her. For so long, the two avoided each other like the plague. But – today? - that was going to change.
She and Julian were getting their full memories back. Well, hopefully. After a few months of studying some ancient texts, bought off a man who didn’t know their worth, Xixa and Asra thought they had a cure for the rampant “memory loss.”
Julian leaned against a wall, arms crossed, watching quietly as the two magicians prep the shop for the ritual. It was no secret he didn’t trust Asra, especially with Xixa’s memories. However, he promised to play nice this evening.
Candles were lit and placed at intervals around the interior of Asra’s shop. The ambient heat a kiss of coziness on their skin. A careful sigil was sketched on the floor with the glowing ink of a fluorescent squid from some faraway sea. Asra crushed ingredients – primrose, tea rose, powdered gingko biloba, ginseng, moon water – in a black pestle and mortar, creating a paste. The aura around everything felt right to Xixa.
She could barely contain her excitement, she felt ready to burst. Yet Asra seemed sullen.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Xixa?” Asra asked, still holding the mortar in his hands. An uncharacteristic somberness filled the air around him.
“I’m sure this’ll work.” She smiled at the white-haired magician. “If it does, then we can do the same for Nadia!”
“You might remember things that are painful.” He ended his statement in a soft murmur, as if he were afraid to finish it.
She glanced at Julian, wondering if he heard Asra’s comment. She could only imagine what alarms Asra’s words would set off in the red-head. The doctor didn’t seem aware of the magician’s worries. He stared at a shelf of books, running his index finger over their spines. Turning her gaze back to Asra, Xixa smiled, “Whatever happens, I can overcome it.”
Asra stared into Xixa’s eyes, as if searching for an answer in her face. She couldn’t help but feel there was a strange bubble of emotion encompassing them. Whatever it was, she didn’t have time to figure it out before Asra sighed. He apparently came to a conclusion and nodded. “Then let’s get started.”
The two of them – doctor and apprentice – stood in the middle of the intricate, glowing sigil. The mixture Asra had been grinding was smeared over their foreheads. Asra intoned an incantation, in a long-dead language as he drew glowing symbols in the air with his fingers. The air fizzed with golden magic. A tang hung in the air, unidentifiable on the tastebuds.
“I feel like a basted turkey,” mumbled Julian, staring down at Xixa. “Do you feel any different?”
“Give it time,” hissed the woman. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought the sigil’s glow intensified an iota. Though, she had to agree, the gunk on her forehead she felt like an entrée. She wanted to reach out to Julian, stroke his knuckles to calm his discomfort and impatience. How Asra would react to watching such a show, though, worried her. Especially during this ritual.
“I’m just saying, when am I suppos-” Julian didn’t finish his petulant commentary. A throb shot across his brain, a grunt of pain rising from his lips. Heat licked across his forehead where the disgusting grime sat.
Xixa shared the look, raising her hand to her temple and wincing. The paste on her forehead seared and felt as if it were burning into her skin.
Asra continued to chant, purple eyes watching the woman intently.
The throb continued to radiate deep inside her head. It felt like it rippled through her brain, across her synapses and through every little wrinkle in her grey matter. Xixa bit her lip as heat licked across her thoughts. They all expected this, but it didn’t stop Julian from reaching out and cradling her against his chest.
Despite her preparedness and Asra’s presence, being allowed to lean into the doctor’s chest was a comfort Xixa couldn’t pass up. His solid body offered stability as his arms coiled protectively around her. She grappled at his arms, fingernails digging into his white sleeves.
“Xixa, are you okay?” He grunted, through his own pain.
The pain and heat pounded through her head. She couldn’t form any words of reassurance, but managed a nod.
Then, like a small leak, they dribbled in. The smallest memories cascaded into longer visions. Her mother and father, her grandparents, her siblings. Her first crush, her second, her third… Living in the town on the outskirts of the country and learning ‘the craft’ from the elders in town. Working year after year to get the money to leave her hometown. Coming to Vesuvia with her life savings. Making a name for herself as a fortuneteller and witch.
“It worked!” She gasped, pushing herself slightly from Julian, so she could see his face. His wide eye and slightly parted lips told her he was reliving his forgotten years, too. Though, he didn’t look as happy as she was.
Just as Julian’s gaze flicked to her face, something stirred in Xixa. A forgotten memory roused and stalked to the surface. Xixa blinked rapidly, her gaze falling to Julian’s chest as she became consumed by the reverie.
Two guards flanked her. Their hands tight around her upper arms, bruising her. They dragged her from a dark hallway, through a pair of dark doors, and into a brightly lit room. She struggled, kicking and cursing in the guards’ hands. Heart pounding like she had just sprinted across the city. Her knees and hands ached, like they were scraped. The sudden transfer from shadows to light made her eyes sting and her heart twinged with fear.
The scent of metal and antiseptic and… blood. So much blood.
Dr. Jules Devorak stood at the edge of the room, wearing a black apron and stooping over a dinged, metal desk. He looked pensively over papers, biting his bare thumb. At the slam of the doors and Xixa’s defiant show, his grey eyes flickered to the newcomers.
“Ah, the new… winner,” Dr. Jules sneered the word as his gaze swept up and down her body. Those eyes, those eyes her present-day consciousness loved loved, greeted her past self with distant unfamiliarity. Xixa’s stomach dropped under his inspection, but she still tried to wrench herself free of her captors.
There had been stories circulating the Marketplace for weeks. People being snatched at night, dragged away by palace guards, and returned a day or two later. No one had stepped forward to corroborate the rumors, but how could you if – after you were taken – you died? Vesuvia was huge; people came and went where the wind blew them. And if you were poor, seeking a lost friend or family member? Well, good luck getting someone to listen.
“I didn’t agree to this!” She cried, trying to twist her body free. The awareness of how alone she was pricked at the back of her thoughts. Her family was a long way off; her friends were transient, who understood the need to move and wouldn’t question her disappearance; other stall owners would be happy to snag her prime spot where her booth squatted.
Tendrils of her long teal hair – that’s right, she used to wear it long – escaped her braid and plastered against her sweat-slicked cheek. Her eyes darted around the room, stomach lurching at the brownish-red stains on the cement floor. Further away, near the center of the room, a body laid on a table with someone dressed in grey medical robes stooping over it.
Asra. A brief overlay of another memory flitted through her. They had met before this, weeks or months prior. He ducked into her stall at the Marketplace, pointedly avoiding someone. She read his cards, he was impressed, and they continued to meet. Smiles and magic and fuzzy warmth…
In that moment, he couldn’t have been further from the man in her memory’s own reverie.
The magician bent over the unconscious figure – a patient? – fingers weaving golden magic along the man’s brow. Now, Xixa realized the man had a faint incision mark along his forehead, perhaps all around the circumference of his head, and it faded with each pass of Asra’s glowing fingers.
“Yes, we know. That’s why the Count started the lottery,” Dr. Jules drawled, returning Xixa’s attention to him. He grabbed her by the chin, forcing her to look up at him. The motion rough, without the tenderness that Xixa’s consciousness attributed to those hands. But, this wasn’t her Julian. Bringing his free hand to her face, he brushed the stray strands away and tapped cool fingers against her temple. His lips twisted into a humorless grin. “We’re just going to take a peek at your brain. No worries, though, you’ll be asleep. By the time you wake up, you’ll be good as new.”
This couldn’t be happening, she thought. Her eyes swiveled around, from guard to guard. Both remained impassive and unmoved. Xixa repeated, her voice cracking under terror. “I didn’t agree to this!”
Asra had finished mending the last “winner” – or maybe kindly putting them out of their misery, her past self thought with paranoia – and meandered over to them. Her heart pounded, realizing fresh red stained his robes. He was wiping his hands clean on a dirty rag, a strained look pinched at his brows. His purple eyes flitted to Xixa’s face, then away.
Her consciousness sensed his shame and discomfort, even after all these years.
Her past self latched onto this, too. She jerked toward him, but the guards remained steadfast. That didn’t stop her warbling pleas. “Don’t let him do this to me! You know this isn’t right!”
Hot tears brimmed in Xixa’s eyes, horror clenching at her chest. Dr. Jules wandered off to a rolling table she hadn’t spotted before, preparing macabre looking instruments that looked more at home in a torture dungeon. He was pulling on elbow-length rubber gloves and whistling. This was just another day, another patient, for him. Everything so routine in his movements and demeanor.
Meanwhile, Xixa’s breaths heaved, hot and humid and trapped in her lungs. It was as if a storm of fright churned inside her. Terror locked around her ribs, making her chest cavity feel smaller, tighter. Adrenaline lightning strikes arced out over her body, her senses on hyper-alert to find some escape. Asra had closed the distance between them, now.
“Please, Asra,” she sobbed quietly, shoulders shaking. Hot rivulets streamed down her cheeks.
All shame had fled Asra’s face. In its place, his mask of shadowy distance. Present-Day Xixa had seen that look so many times before, so many times when he tried to maintain an emotional wall, tried to keep her from going catatonic. This time, he used it to shutter a mental wall between them.
“Relax,” he murmured, a melodic lilt to his words. She could sense the magic snaking through in the air, could see the glow at his fingertips. Xixa whimpered, shaking her head savagely, knowing as soon as the magic bit her, as soon as he touched her, it’d be over. His gentle palm pressed to her forehead, regardless. “Relax and sleep.”
The rattle of metallic instruments, soon to be lodged into her brain, lulled her into darkness.
When Xixa surfaced from her reverie, she felt like a drowning person finally breaking the surf. Her mind wobbled around her. Her fingers curled, clenching into soft fabric. Someone held her, repeated her name with concern as their hands held her up.
Her eyes turned upward, zeroing on the source of the noise. A grey eye stared down at her, a blur of black where another eye should be, a shock of red hair. Red hair like blood.
So much blood.
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