#xixa stories
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"Maybe you can tell her to sit down."
Dimitri arrived right as the door to the house swung open and the handle slammed into the wall making him cringe at the sound of the wood buckling to the fury of the petite and normally demure Liri who stormed out with her nose in the air and her child squealing in delight at the chaos that had erupted, on her hip.
"Dontcha come back here lookin for no super later either girl" Xixa yelled after her oldest "Ungrateful child, s'what I get for sleepin' with a Seeker." That was another cringe that made the Sharlayan clear his throat to try and hide the words alas it was too late and after one more burst of rage off ran Liri in tears while the wee one babbled happily and waved its little hand at Dimitri over Liri's shoulder.
"Again?" This had been the last few visits to the Loonsi House. He had arrived each time on the cusp of yet another arguement.
"Again" Xixa replied, voice colored with a rather noticeable irritability. "Thinks she knows everything that one. Well don't stand in the yard Sonny. Ain't gettin' any younger neither of us."
Carefully the giant stepped through the door made for Miqo'te and then turned to examine the damage to the wall where the door handle had hit. For a young woman Dimitri had found himself wondering if Liri had super strength a few times now, her ability to damage things, far greater that someone her size should have been able to pull off.
"What happened?" The words were soft and kind with just a bit of a rumble to them that often sounded like a moving storm, kneeling down he ran his hand along the wall checking first for an indent and the secondly for any slivers or shards that could harm someone who came in contact with the door.
"The usual, girl has her knickers in a bunch because I went outside." The tapping of a cane filled the Sharlayan's ears and his head turned to find the Miqo'te nearly at his side already.
"She ain't aether sensitive like me and her Sisters. Took after her Father she did. Not a whole lot of Aether of her own but what she does have is thick and strong. Tough for her to understand I can see even though I'm blind."
Rising to his feet he moved closer and rested a hand on his mentors arm, she looked more tired than usual and her hair was pulled up into a bun that exposed her moon-like face making her look far younger than he thought she was due to the long grey streak of hair that rested along her right cheek and then spilled down her robes.
"Hmm I was wondering how similar your talent was to Y'shtola Rhul. Had a chance to hear her speak once or perhaps it was more yell? Quite the impressive woman really and quite blind. Her eyes glow like your however, alas I could not get closer to meet her. She was arguing with members of the Forum." Something that was not new to those who live in Sharlayan, the memory bringing a smile to his lips.
"Not quite. Shtola's gifts are stronger than mine. While both of us had rather scary expierences that woke them, her turns learning with her fancy mentor makes her far more advanced than me, not to mention the time in Sharlayan learning as well. Did you know she is younger than me, about ten turns perhaps twelve? She is a Keeper as well." Xixa cracked a smile showing off the very notable Keeper fangs. "Lot of gifted Witches and Sorceresses are. Only thing better are some of the lalafell you find at the Ossuary in Ul'dah."
Dimitri couldn't help but chuckle at the pride in her voice. She loved being a Keeper and it was apparent when she spoke about those who had been extraordinarily successful on their path. "I would have thought you were younger."
The words slipped out of his mouth and sounded perhaps a little charming, before he started to cough from how forward and flirty they felt, something he was just not good at in any way. In fact he could not figure out for the life of him how he had caught Laurent's attention with how bad his flirting was.
Xixa barked a laugh "Flattery will get you everywhere Sonny. Best way to get a woman in your bed is to pay them a compliment like that." She said it so quickly that at first it didn't register between his long ears, his mind still occupied with thoughts of Y'shtola but once his brain sped up from a good few moments of a fantasy he let out a strangled sound then sputtered like a defective piece of magitek.
"Xixa!" He choked out as his ears flushed only to be met with the Keepers cackling, it was a sound that was both eerie and attractive at the same time. "I am about to be a married man. I would never, I could never." And out came his well known seriousness which made Xixa groan.
"Too bad I wouldn't mind a couple of Elezen in my bed. Rather found of Elezen. My, hmm friend with benefits? Is that how you kids say it? " the smile on her face had grown wicked and spread from pointy ear to pointy ear, making him blush even more. She knew what she was doing and she was enjoying herself a little too much in Dimitri's mind.
"Xixa you are my mentor I do not need to hear about your sex life!" He protested as he focused on turning the temperature down on his face. "Besides you know I do not have sexual relationships with women." He cleared his throat then took a deep breathe trying to steel his nerves again.
"Right I could hear your cock when it sprung to life thinking about Shtola. Don't worry, I won't tell no one Sonny but you might want to watch that conversation. Fastest I've even felt a man get hard."
"XIXA!!" He yelped out mortified at how relaxed she was about sex in general. Let alone her teasing him about it. There was no doubt in his mind that if he looked in a mirror right now he would be as red as a Rolanberry.
"HA!" She called back, her cane tapping on the hardwood floor again. "Let's get some tea, then you can tell me why you stopped by. Don't smack that thing on the furniture while you walk. The aether signature is very noticeable. Never seen one quite so big."
"XIXA STOP" it was too late, however, in the time he had taken to yell again, she had already disappeared into the kitchen her cackle still spilling from her lips and echoing down the hall.
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"Are you certain that one Sonny?" It was midday in Gridania, and Dimitri had taken an early break to meet his mentor, Xixa, outside of the shopping area.
"Look at it. It is as green as his eyes, and I swear the band is made of wood. I think it is perfect for him. If he hates it, he can take it off. I think it would help him to have a symbol. Something he can look at when he needs to. When he worries, I.." a deep blush appeared in the Sharlayan's pale skin much to the amusement of the supposedly old Mooncatte who gave a chuckle and then turned to look at a pair of earrings with Menphina's symbol on them giving the seven fulms tall Elezen time to compose himself.
"Cutest damned thing you are. Still can't say you love him without blushing." It was a low mutter, but the Duskwights sharp ears picked up every word she spoke.
"Hey! You are not used to seeing what true love looks like, " he protested, a scowl appearing in his rather feminine features, his normal array of eyeliner and eyeshadow just adding to those features overall.
"No such thing." Xixa grumbled in reply, her nostrils even flaring. "Mark my word Sonny he will either get bored with you, sick of you, or find someone else. It's what happens. No, such a thing as forever no matter how many times ya try, along comes the new shiny and next thing you know the half way out the door."
Over his shoulder, he looked to where she stood, and then he found the dark-haired Miqo'te playing with a bracelet that went to the earrings she had been looking at he could see the sadness there, and a small sigh came from him. "Have you ever told Iris how you feel?" He asked softly, reaching over to take one of the boxes that copies of the set that had caught Xixa's eye, and quickly he put it with his other things before she looked up at him.
"WHAT! NO?" Her voice raised, and for a moment, he thought she was going to punch him, her hand balled at her side suggesting she was certainly thinking about. "It's complicated. She is all the way in Corethas, and I am all the way here. I think she is a noble, one like your sister, full blooded. Doubt she would have time for a relationship with a commoner, and besides, there are others I like in that, and I don't think that's her thing. Like I said, it's complicated. We see each other less and less now. Doesn't change anything for me, but like I said, don't get too comfy, Sonny people leave, and then you have nurse a broken heart."
Dimitri felt his eyes cross, and his lips pressed into a thin line. He despised when she got like this, which wasn't often, Xixa was a strong woman, after all, stronger than his sister in many ways. "Could start going to those social mixers. You know those speed dating ones. The girls are older, and I could be you Wing-Elezen, " and there it was the fist he had been expecting, which connected with his thigh muscle hard enough to make it spasm.
"Ow! XIXA what the FUCK was that!? I was being helpful!" A loud shhh came from the shopkeeper, an old Wildwood from the looks of him who was staring down his nose at the pair with his lip curled in disgust, a faint tremble going through him.
"Mind your business, Sonny. I'm old, and I'm set in my ways. Don't need someone trackin' mud through my house or cloggin' up my shower shower drain with their hair. Been me and the girls for so long now that I wouldn't even know what to do on a date. A speedy one or not. The last date I went on was twenty years ago and it was the girls' father. We went over to the water and fished didn't have much money to do anything else. Can't believe I was ever that young. Liri was born just a turn later, too. Wouldn't even know what to say to get someone interested in me. What do I tell them? I like to darn socks and make stew for supper. Oo, that would have them beatin' down my door." Up she looked at his smiling face, and she couldn't help but scowl at it. "Think my days of datin' are o-v-e-r."
To this, Dimitri shook his head and sighed. "Just like Laurent, same damned age too. Neither of you has even hit forty yet, and here you are. I am beginning to think it is one of those Shroud things." Quickly, he darted forward, putting a space between them before she could hit him again. "I could always look into Iris for you to find out who she is. Invite her to dinner so you two could talk."
A momentary look of hope appeared in the Keeper's eyes, but then she swallowed hard and shook her head. "Wouldn't want to push her. She'll come back around when she's ready or when she misses me. I know she does. I can feel it." There were other things Xixa wanted to say as her ears sagged on top of her head, and her tail swished back and forth very close to the floor. "I don't want ta talk about this anymore." Her tone was firm again and her teeth gritted together.
"Order your wedding bands, and then let's go. Had enough of this old ass staring at us." Her hand lifted, and she raised her middle finger to the old Elezen. Who wheezed in reply and look towards Dimitri who was approaching the counter swiftly.
"Better have the gil Duskwight or the Adders will be here to collect you." The old man left his threat hanging in the air as Dimitri drew out a rather official looking cheque book from a Sharlayan Bank. "How much do I owe you?"his fiery eyebrow lifting in question.
"The two nophica bands set in dark wood around one hundred thousand gil as a pair and that box there will cost you another hundred thousand and no I won't split it up so you can afford it. No bartering, either your kind, has nothing I would be interested in."
Not a single word left his lips, not even a whisper of reply. Instead, he focused on writing the amount on the next cheque and then slid it across the counter just as Xixa yelled behind him. "Dontcha be smart Pierront Chevanoix. I see your wife at temple on Windsday. She'll box yer ears if I tell her you were bein' an ass to Lord Jienuex."
Dimitri stiffened at the sound of the word "Lord" before his name. Even though he had just written it on the cheque, the sound of that terrible word always made his stomach churn in protest. When someone called him it.
"Oh, sorry Ser," Elezen said out of nowhere, and he straightened up. "Forgive. The clan markings and relaxed manners. I thought you were one of those vagrants from Mun Tuy cellars." This seemed to get much faster now as he gathered all the sizing information and designs for the rings, the special symbols giving him pause as he recognized the Shroud Witch nature behind them. "This order will take about a Moon, Ser. Unless you need it sooner?"
Tucking the book back into his coat, he shook his head at Old Elezen. "A Moon is fine. We have not set an official date yet. I will just take the other item. It isn't going very far. " Then, on his heel, he turned and out the door he headed, adding one final dig. "Just linkpearl the Adders when they are done. I work for them. They will get you in touch." Yanking open the door, he let Xixa escape first before he stepped out and shut it behind him.
"Where too next?" Xixa lit a cigarette as soon as she felt the fresh air on her cheeks.
"Home. I have had enough of the city this day, but first, this is for you." Dimitri extended the box he had been carrying waiting for the Keeper to take it. His eyes flashed in various marine shades. "I saw you looking at it. Something nice to wear when we find you a date."
"Sonny, is this.." her eyes widened as she opened the box and looked inside. The next thing Dimitri knew, there were tears in Xixa's eyes. "Sonny, I can't pay you back for this."
"You'll pay me back by going on a date with someone or finally telling Iris that you want her in your life life." Silence fell over the pair then as Xixa fought for the words to say how she felt, but none would come, at least not now.
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FFXIV Writes 2023 | Day 25 | Call it a Day
The shoe is on the other foot and Dimitri shows up at Xixa's house uninvited. This entry is from Xixa's POV.
“Mom! There is some giant red-headed Elezen at our door that says he knows you.” Xixa had been relaxing in her chair, knitting needles flashing in the candlelight as she gathered the yarn into a blanket for her oldest who was about to have a few of her own. She wasn’t expecting a caller, but then he never expected her when she stepped by either. In all of her years, she had never had a student like him, and the worst part was he reminded her of herself when she was his age. Matron save her, she was coming back to haunt herself through him.
“Ask him if his name is Dimitri.” She shouted back, the old rocking chair that had seen better days creaking under her as she moved it back and forth in a constant motion. It was late, the sun was already down and this just had to happen now. She was looking forward to a nice glass of wine, a hot bath but oh no the tables had to be turned on her.
“Mom, his name is Dimitri!” Lahsih, her second oldest daughter, called from the door. Xixa couldn’t help it she felt her eyes roll upwards towards the ceiling and the huff she loosened seemed to just blow out of her nose, now all she needed was smoke and she would have looked like a vicious monster ready to attack the giant once he was in her living room which thankfully was big enough to allow him in it, however, sitting would like be on her rickety old floor since his arse was bigger than most of her chairs, and they would likely break under his weight anyways. Damned Elezen, your kind is always too big after twenty-three.
“Show him in Lahsih, and put the kettle on. Might as well offer him some tea since he walked all this way.” Fuck him for doing so. That part wasn’t said out loud, that part was reserved for her private thoughts where little pitchers with big ears couldn’t hear her say them. She was a good Mother, or at least she thought she was, except they weren’t quite little pitchers anymore, they had grown taller than her, damn that Seeker who Fathered them. He was a tall one, and couldn't keep his hands to himself either. She really did like that Seeker too bad he didn’t last a year past Volhi’s birth.
“Xixa!” Dimitri’s voice boomed out of his mouth dragging Xixa from her thoughts in a syllable. Then there he was this giant man standing in the middle of her poor living room holding out a bag towards her that looked like it was full of boxes. “Vi asked me to drop by with these for you and the kids before I called it a day.” He was in a chipper mood for someone who had walked to Bent Branch all the way from the Lavender Beds Ferry, but she wasn’t that interested in him right now she was, however, interested in the bag he was holding above her head while Lahsih and Volhi giggled from the door.
“Dimitri,” she said warily, her knitting now sitting in her lap, the baby blanket coming along well with beautiful yarns of white, teal, and purple. She was fussy about how her knitting looked, and the colors always had to complement each other. Having a visitor while she had her work out in the open was stressful for the early middle-aged Miqo’te. It was her pride and joy to make things for others but when people came calling something always went wrong. It was this that caused her to hop from her chair, and carry everything back to her knitting basket across the room where it could be stowed away carefully until the next time she took it out to work on.
“This is my daughter Lahsih if she didn’t tell you her name already. She’s my middle child, and that little one over there is Volhi. My oldest Liri should be around shortly. She works with the weaver up the road, about to give birth in a moon or so that one. She’s slow these days. I keep telling her she needs to rest but she doesn’t listen. Much like Lahsih who I asked to make a spot of tea for us.” Xixa shot a look in the girls' direction and off she darted. Volhi followed after her with a squeal leaving her alone in the room with her student and a bag of goodies.
“I would offer you a chair but I fear I don’t have anything big enough.” Xixa flashed him one of her wide-fanged grins. That was the best part of being a Keeper of the Moon, besides being the best-looking type of Miqo’te and having Menphina in their corner, the fangs that she could expose at any moment often made others instinctively rub at the side of their neck. Dimitri didn’t, however, he just stared at her for a moment before he finally just plopped down on the immaculately cleaned floor and opened the bag to peer inside.
“Vi told me to tell you there are croissants, rolanberry cheesecake, and pixie-berry tarts. I was also supposed to tell you that the surprise for Volhi’s name day is coming along, she has all the ingredients now after going to Limsa for spices last week. She wanted me to ask if you wanted it the night before or the morning of?” Dimitri paused to think if he had covered it all then he nodded his head. “She appeared at my loft just when I was about to call it a day on packing. I cannot believe how much my Mother had in that place, I still have room to go through before I can fully move out of it.”
“Hmm, morning if she can handle it.” She was now staring into the bag with Dimitri, how she had made it from the other side of the room to where he was left the Duskwight was startled as could be, in fact, he let out a little yelp when her voice was that close to him.
“How do you people do THAT” his voice booming through the small house again, and bringing giggles from the girls in the kitchen where the kettle had just started whistling. “Laurent can do it, my Sister can do it and you can do it too! How the fuck do the three of you moving so silently.” he had just started to chuckle when Xixa hit him upside of the head, and it was a hard one too his head bobbing to one side as he stared at her with eyes like a kid who had just stuck a hand in the cookie jar and gotten caught. “What did I DO!” Dimitri yelped, putting his hands up to shield his face.
“Language, there are teenagers in my house. These are my rules. This isn’t your place, one more use of that word out of you and right out in the yard you go. If you don’t like it then go swear up a storm at your own house.” her arms folded across her chest then, and she looked as stern as stern could be. She even took to tapping her foot on the floor, daring him with her eyes to do anything besides accept her house rules.
“Yes, Ma’am” Dimitri shot her a look, one that seemed to express his desire to set her on fire where she stood right now, the last thing he expected out of his mentor was being told to watch his tongue since her mouth was worse than his on most occasions. Of course, Dimitri was also a brat and he made a show out of sticking out said tongue and then trying to stare at it over his glasses. This just earned him a well-aimed flick to the tip of his ear, which brought a chorus of “Ohhhhhhh Dimitri is in trouble.” from the two girls who had arrived carrying the tea on a wooden tray.
“Hush now.” Xixa barked, she was scary when she was being a Mother and a lot less fun than she usually was. Dimitri even gave a small sniffle to represent his hurt feelings, but this soon stopped when the Miqo’te put her attention right back on the redhead on her floor. She was going to kick him if he wasn’t careful, he could see the desire in her face.
“You are going to be twenty-nine cycles old here soon. Dontcha act like you are one of my children or I will get your Sister after you.” Normally Dimitri would not flinch at threats, his adopted Mother had used them often enough to get him to do whatever she needed him to do, but threatening him with Vi the head of House Jienuex even though she had been hiding in the Shroud made him shudder. Nobles had a way of making people feel like they were two fulms tall with only a few words and their best-practiced smile.
“Yes Ma’am,” he said again, pushing the bag of treats towards where Xixa had been sitting and then placing his hands in his lap folded as a proper house guest should, even though a proper house guest would never find themselves seated on a draft floor.
“Well then let’s have tea and then you can call it a day like you had planned. Girls, why don’t you go get the laundry from the line and put it in the baskets? Then bring it into the folding room for me. I’ll tend to it while making breakfast in the morning.”
“Okay, Mom!” They yelled in unison again, both stopping to peer at Dimitri again and then giggling to each other as they ran off to the yard to collect the wash.
“Don’t mean to be too hard on you, Sonny,” Xixa said once the back door slammed, she had moved to the tray with the tea and started to make them both cups as she talked. “They are both a bundle of energy and one has a mouth on her. They aren’t like my oldest, she was a quiet teenager. All about school work and learning to weave. These two are trouble. Liri at least waited until she was done with school and had a job to get herself pregnant. Of course, she did no better than me. Don’t have an idea where the Father took off to. Had her when I was only eighteen summers old.”
Carefully Xixa lifted the teacups and padded over to set them down on a low table that she pulled close to where they would both be seated. “Their Father got in a bit of trouble not long after Volhi was born, lass never got to meet him, and was buried the same year. They are good girls and just want a better life for them. I’m sure you understand, you got that Noble blood in you and want no part of it. Well for me they have their Father’s blood and I want them to have no part of it. He wasn’t the best man and I don’t want them getting mixed up in that.”
Dimitri found himself frowning as Xixa aired a bit of her story, his brow taking on a crease that made his eyebrows almost touch. “I’m..” he started to say then shook his head. “You’ve done a wonderful job with them Xixa. They seem like very well-behaved young women but then they have you as a role model how could they not be.”
Xixa snorted lightly, carrying her own cup to her chair, and then eased her tired self into it, the runners on the old rocker starting to creak almost instantly as she used her foot to rock herself. “I do the best I can with them, Dimitri. I don’t mind you stopping by but try to be a good role model for them yerself eh? I can’t say I want to keep them young, I don’t, everything needs to grow but at the end of the day, I do want them to learn to live a disciplined life where they still have fun. This Star isn’t the same as when I was a kid nor when you were. The last thing I need is for them to join some Menphina death cult as their Father did.
Dimitri blinked hard, his mouth opening to ask questions but it slowly closed again leaving him to sit there for a moment before he finally said over the top of his cup “Something I’d like to hear about one of these days. It has been a great deal of my work thus far but for now. Tell me about your day friend”
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"So I hear congradulations are in order, dear." It was rare that Viviane was so lost in thought that someone could make it through the door of the bakery without her becoming keenly aware that they were there. In fact when she heard the voice she practically jumped out of her skin. This voice was far away from where it should have been, especially in her current condition.
"Xixa?" She practically dropped the cup of tea she had been sipping at without thought "Twelve, does Liri know you-"
"Don't quite care what the child knows. Now I will take a cup of that Moko tea you make with the mint and you will come sit with me." The tap of her can could be heard across the wooden floorboards, and her sightless eyes peered out just enough from behind the dark glasses she wore that Viviane could make out the blank white space they had become.
"Yes of course." Vi straightened her back and set down her cup, quickly bustling into the kitchen where she fixed the cup of tea Xixa requested, then filled her own again, dropping dollops of golden toned honey into each before picking them up and returning to the seating area.
"It is good to see you have been taking care of yourself. Your Aether is at the strongest I have seen it since you arrived in the Shroud." This was the eerie part she had learned about Xixa's ability, once her sight was gone she could see things in the Skein that no other could, or at least no other Vi had known.
"He has helped a great deal." She said quietly, setting down the cups on the table then turning towards the door to pull down the shade and slip the lock into place so they would be uninterrupted. The last thing she needed was someone else coming in through the door while she was talking about personal matters. Her recent marriage made her keenly aware of both of her husbands' influences in their work and beyond.
"I can see that girl" Xixa locked her gaze on where Viviane stood, it was terrifying really that a blind woman could so easily find her. "Come and sit I have something important for you." The was a rustle in the old bag the Miqo'te carried and by the time Vi sat down adjacent to her a brown wrapped package sat on the table near the Elezen's tea.
"Before she passed your Aunt Doshaine entrusted this to me. She knew the lifestream called for her. She could see the waters rising around her ankles and the chill tugging at her soul. Now go on open it and I will explain." Xixa carefully reached out in front of her finding the cup of tea with relative ease and she lifted it to her lips while Vi shakily reached for the package.
"Still odd heading her called Aunt. All those years and I never found out until after she was gone." Nimble fingers tugged at the strings that bound the package there was such precision in the way they moved and in no time the paper fell away to reveal a familiar journal only this one was not as old looking as the others in the collection.
"Twelve is this?" She found herself barely speak the words, her hand reaching out to rest on the cover, the soft leather with its long ties made her smile and she could almost sense her Aunt's energy patterns there upon it.
"Started the day you arrived in the Shroud and written in every day after until she returned to the Sea." Xixa replied with a curt nod. "I know it is difficult to understand why you were never told until she was gone, but you arrived with a great deal of hate in your heart. You didn't need to find anymore of your Mother's secrets, Girl."
Careful fingers traced the cover, releasing the old scents of cinnamon and honey that Doshsine always carried as a scent. There were times when she was baking that the same scent would catch her attention and it always came with emotions she fought hard to contain.
"She told me right before she passed that I was to give you this only when you had settled into your path and moved on. Your recent wedding makes it a fine time and a good gift. That way she shares it with you. Book is enchanted, you can read no more than two pages in a sitting and if you try the pages go blank." A chuckle came from her then which ended in a wheeze and a hiccup "Spinner bless her. She had such a way with weaving Aether." Reaching for her tea again Xixa looked Vi's way.
Viviane looked from journal cover to darkened shades only to look back again. "The history of her and my Mother's childhood then?" It was times like these she thanked the stars above she did not have to breathe for it would have been impossible had she tried.
"There are things in this journal that will break your heart, secrets that you will find that will take Moons to digest. This is the tale you have sought the least and feared the most. I think you are ready for it, it will hurt but then it will help. It is more than their childhood it is their story, all of it." Sitting back in her chair then the Miqo'te brought out a small pipe, filled it with tobacco and then puffed on it till the scent filled the room.
"She loved you more than she could tell you girl. Words always got in the way. Only reason I could see it was she was like a Mother to me as well. I knew love when I saw it on her face. That journal will give you no great power, there is no spells to find. It will give you knowledge, though. Hells I almost wish I could read it myself, but that is not in my cards, only yours."
The scent of the smoke sent Vi into her apron for her own smoking case, there was silence in her motion in was that quick that even if Xixa could see she would not have noticed.
"You will not be getting your sight back again will you." The question had lingered on her tongue for a sennight now, while she could see the Aether that lingered there it felt empty to her, an unfilled space and it had dawned on her the truth.
"In time I will, girl. Doshaine told me turns ago a day would come when I gave my eyes to someone in need, an important sign. Used to think it was you but my sight came back in days. I laughed at her then, told her I would never be so foolish. In the end, it wasn't a fool thing at all, came out of my old dusty heart. Could you keep that out of your Brother's pointy ears for now? I have one nursemaid following me like I am a wee one who can't care for herself. Don't need that red-headed jerk of yours doing it too."
Vi snorted and then picked up her teacup her head shaking lightly "Say it like that I would think you had a crush on him Xixa. Reminds me of when I was a young girl smitten." Out of the corner of her eye, she looked and she smirked at the reaction she got.
"Did it rain when you did the handfasting?" The Mooncatte replied with a well-placed change of subject; her own grin lingering on her lips.
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Bad Luck - Chapter 2
Chapter 2: Will You Still Think Of Me Fondly?
Summary: Julian comes to a poisoned Xixa's rescue. They talk a lot of things out.
Ao3 Link
“That’s enough of that.” She barely heard the gentle words through the pounding in her skull. Her eyes fluttered open, finding Julian standing there, the Red Reaper held far, far from her body.
Heat dabbled over her cheeks, nipping at her ears. Everything felt so warm. And Julian was there! Her thoughts couldn’t scrabble onto something coherent. In their stead, she smiled broadly and lean toward him.
With one arm wrapped around Xixa, Julian turned his gaze toward the bartender. Shaking the still partly filled glass, the doctor demanded, “What’s in this, Kori?”
“Cherry juice, cinnamon, Prakra vodka, Vesuvian rum, red wine, a bit of gin,” the bartender eyed the two patrons, “And a bit of nectar from the Man Eating Magnolia.”
A dark look passed over Julian’s face and he slammed the glass down. “By nectar, you mean poison.”
“Isn’t all alcohol poison, doctor?” Kori flinched, rightly scolded, but they smiled cheekily nonetheless.
“Kori, your loyalty is heartwarming, but don’t kill anyone of my accord.”
A look of hurt crossed Kori’s features. They motioned toward Xixa, ready to state their case for poisoning the apprentice. “But she’s investi–”
“I’m aware.” Julian sighed, turning his gaze to the apprentice in his arms. She sank down, legs starting to give out, but his supporting arms kept her upright. An ache bit across his chest. Her warmth sunk through his clothes, taunting his skin. Brief memories flashed through his thoughts, of Mazelinka’s and how sweet those stolen moments had been.
Xixa, however, was not a drinker. And she had down nearly half the glass of Red Reaper. Even the hardiest of drinkers may succumb to literal poison. Her head lolled against his chest, gibberish falling softly from her lips. Even through his clothes, he could tell Xixa’s temperature was rocketing to unsafe levels.
Gingerly, he tilted Xixa’s head back. Her eyes had lost focused, but a faint smile twisted at the corners of her lips. Julian thought he heard his name on her lips, a mumbled whisper. Man Eating Magnolia’s nectar made the victim’s body overheat, their legs give out, while basking in some fantasy.
Even though he had distanced himself, Xixa was still in trouble. Drinking herself to a grave. If she hadn’t come to the Rowdy Raven, hadn’t asked questions about him, hadn’t drank that damn drink, she wouldn't’ be in this condition. Julian shook the annoyance and questions away. He whispered to himself, “One more.”
The doctor leaned down, catching the apprentice’s smiling lips in a kiss. A growing warmth pressed at his throat and the curse transferred the poison from her to him. The sting of the drink scraped across his throat. His brain became fuzzy and wobbly. His whole body warmed, as if he were melting.
Xixa broke the kiss, eyes wide and brief surprise flicking over her features. The apprentice quickly remembered her predicament, just as Julian’s legs gave out under him. With a yelp, the apprentice and the doctor collapsed to the floor.
“S’rry,” the man slurred, head lolling against her shoulder. The room erratically spun and his head throbbed.
“It’s fine,” Xixa sighed, managing to move into a sitting position with Julian’s head in her lap. She brushed his hair back from his face. Heat radiated from him as a red flush pressed to his cheeks, fever overtaking his body. Yet, as soon as his temperature rose, it began to fall. The glow of the sigil on his neck pulsed, the curse keeping him alive. She ran her hands through his hair and down his jawline, with tender strokes.
“Observation, right.” Kori snorted.
The apprentice tossed the bartender a dirty look, but could do nothing about her sudden blush. To be so transparent to someone else prickled her thoughts. The bartender smirked, but leaned against the bar, watching the doctor squirm and overheat. As unconcerned as they were, Xixa wondered if Kori knew of the curse. That didn’t matter. At least they were allowing her to comfort Julian, despite investigating him.
Once Julian’s body heat seemed close to safe, Xixa smiled weakly down at him. Julian stared up at her, an expression of guilt pinching his features. If it hadn’t been for him, Xixa wouldn’t have been poisoned.
“I sort of expected this to happen.” Xixa’s words came out like a confession. She winced as the doctor’s eye widened.
He must still be feverish. His thoughts infected with the poison was making him hallucinate, to hear strange things. “What.”
“No one reports you to the guards. You were completely at ease with all the patrons here. You can wander around, in broad daylight, at the Market.” Xixa recounted the events, still caressing his jawline with light touches. Understanding glinted in his eye. “Coming to this bar, asking about you to someone willing to keep you secret, and daring to order a drink.”
Xixa smiled ruefully down at Julian as the pieces lined up in his head.
She had risked dying to get to him? He couldn’t wrap the sacrifice around his thoughts. “Why?”
Averting her gaze and giving a careless shrug – though she felt anything but nonchalant – the apprentice muttered, “You kept saving me this morning. I had a hunch.”
“You got yourself poisoned on a hunch. ” Incredulity and an edge of annoyance filled Juilan’s voice as he sat up, ignoring the spin of the room. He didn’t know how to feel. On the one hand, frustrated at her recklessness; on the other, shamefully touched at Xixa’s extreme actions.
“You insisted on ending what we had – whatever you wish to call it – because you were potentially a danger.” She couldn’t keep the sharp edge out of her voice. Having her own audacious behavior scolded by the melodramatic Julian? Well, it stung. Her hands clenched at her knees, eyebrows dipped in obvious frustration. “And then you turned around, stalking me through the city.”
“I did not stalk!” The doctor yelped, ears coloring.
“I don’t know, Ilya.” Julian and Xixa glanced up at the bartender. Kori leaned on the bar, elbows supporting this face, as they earnestly stared down at them. A smirk tugged across their lips, their eyes flickering from the doctor to the apprentice. “You arrived just as she swallowed poison. I think Little Miss Apprentice has you figured out.”
Julian flushed under Kori’s grin. He couldn’t even argue against the bartender’s assertion. Even if he tried, his face would give him away. Instead of trying to talk his way out, the doctor got to his feet. The floor swayed under his boots, almost forcing Julian to plant his ass on the boards.
Xixa got to her feet, grabbing onto Julian’s coat before he could run off. She doubted he’d get far, judging by his wobbling legs, but she couldn’t risk losing him. Not when he was right here, right now. “Why were you following me, Julian?”
His eye couldn’t find a place to remain. On Kori’s grin to Xixa’s curious gaze to his hands. He couldn’t look anywhere. Her strong hold on his overcoat tempted him to leave the clothing. “I… I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“You dumped me the other night on a dock!”
Completely involved with the story, Kori glanced from their longtime patron to the apprentice. “I thought you guys weren’t dating.”
“It’s complicated.” Xixa scrunched her shoulders up to her ears, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment. They hadn’t been dating. But, for some reason, the separation hurt so much. Tormented with confusion and hurt, trying to understand why she felt so much with him. She realized it might have something to do with her missing memories, but shoved that thought far away. She didn’t need the headache on top of the inexplicable heartache.
“Is it?” Julian asked softly, bringing his gaze to Xixa’s face. He bit his bottom lip, worrying over thoughts he’d agonized since he met the apprentice. “We’ve only known each other for a few days.”
The question pressed down on Xixa’s shoulders as nagging thoughts clawed out from the back of her mind. This was the issue. The thing that raked through her mind, bringing tears and confusion to the surface. The answer kept ducking and dodging from her consciousness.
“You make me feel safe.” Just saying those words, being so vulnerable, made her heart throb with terror. Xixa didn’t understand how he made her feel safe. Didn’t even know what he’d done to earn that position. The only other person who made her feel safe had been Asra.
Julian’s eye widened, shock vibrating through his bones. Another feeling, something warm and soft and familiar buzzed through him, at the same time. The doctor swallowed, unable to believe her answer. “I what?”
“I can’t explain it, but you make me feel safe.” Soft warmth coursed through Xixa, thinking back to that moment. A shy smile pulled, awkwardly, across her features. “When you first broke into the shoppe, in your mask, I was terrified. But, once your mask got knocked off…”
Silence descended as Julian thought of that night. He’d gone into the shoppe, seeking answers from Asra. Instead, he found Xixa in the middle of a reading for the Countess. He’d crept through the house, looking for the magician, while her voice read the cards. Overhearing the session eased something in him then. It was a strange comfort, mixed with nostalgia. He assumed some past fondness urged his whim to have her read his.
What if that comfort came from simply hearing Xixa’s voice?
“Please, stop saving me, Julian.” Her words crashed through his introspection. Julian turned a confused look toward her, about to ask her what she meant. Arms wrapped around herself, features pinched with personal troubles, Xixa had a hard time pushing the words from her lips. “You want to distance yourself, fine. I grudgingly accept that. But stop taunting me with your little acts of heroism.”
To be pushed away from a source of safety, only to have him constantly tease her with his evasive presence? It was like reopening a wound, over and over. Each time, the pain resonated a little deeper.
“Xixa…” Pain squeezed at Julian’s chest. Watching her, eyes downcast, requesting him to stop saving her, helping her, protecting her. Looking at her, Julian knew he couldn’t stop. A strong feeling drove him to safeguard her. And what a job that was, after today. Her string of ill luck, that day alone, had been ridiculous. In fact, it probably rivaled his own tendency toward tragedy. A mirthless laugh laced through his voice, “I think I’ve infected you.”
Xixa threw him a startled look, eyes wide.
“A wood pile nearly crushed you, a cart nearly trampled you, and you got yourself poisoned.” He took a step for each event of the day, closing the distance between them. His hands settled on Xixa’s shoulders. “I think, my dear, I’ve infected you with my bad luck.”
She looked down. Was this his way to absolve his guilt? Or sink further into a pit of self-pity? Julian’s gloved hand ghosted over her cheek, running fingers down to her chin. He forced her eyes up toward him, a roguish smile on his lips. “If by staying close to you, I may deflect this ill luck toward myself, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”
It took a breath for Xixa to realize what Julian was saying. When it settled, relief poured through her thoughts. She threw herself into the doctor, arms snaking around his torso and face buried against his chest. Inhaling his scent, Xixa basked in renewed safety and a warm sense of comfort. He pulled her closer, his arms crushing her to him. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, the doctor guiltily enjoyed her closeness, her warmth, her aroma.
“Aren’t they a cute couple?” Kori bellowed, clapping their hands. The apprentice and the doctor startled as a round of applause filled the air. Peeking out from Julian’s chest, Xixa’s stomach flipped with embarrassment. A small crowd had trickled in and, upon seeing the scene, scuttled close to watch.
Chuckles, titters, and a few lewd comments bubbled up from the crowd. The apprentice ducked into Julian again, a smile on her lips despite the burning flush on her face. Half-jokingly, Xixa mumbled against his chest, “Julian, save me.”
Leaning over Xixa, the doctor smiled at her request. He whispered low, so Xixa could only hear his words, “With pleasure.”
Julian straightened, arms still protectively curled around Xixa. With a big grin, and a devilish twinkle in his eye, the doctor declared over the jesting crowd, “To celebrate, we’ll have a round on the house. What d’ya say!”
Kori’s eyes widened, turning the shock toward Julian. “I didn’t agre–”
The poor bartender could finish their sentence, before people swarmed up to the bar. It was no use reasoning with loyal patrons. Kori cast the doctor a dirty look, but began to fill the orders. Julian only smirked back. Served Kori right for poisoning Xixa.
While the bartender was ass-deep in free drink requests, Julian guided the apprentice from the bar. Outside, mid-afternoon had begun to fade into dusk. The ragged raven danced along the Rowdy Raven sign, talons tapdancing on the wood. If Xixa didn’t know better, she thought he was excited seeing the two together.
“What now?” In the cold street, a sudden sense of moroseness fell over Julian. At some point, he was going to be dragged before the Countess and hanged. The doctor swallowed as the thought filtered through his mind. Staring down at Xixa, the conflicting sensations of warm fondness fought against a chill of fear.
Feeling Julian’s anxiety in the air, Xixa turned toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She pressed against him, on tiptoe to get closer to his face. Instinctively, his arms enveloped her, his overcoat acting as a semi-barrier between them and the world.
Xixa would be lying if she told the man there was nothing to fear. That everything would work out. No matter how much hope glistened in her mind, the shadows of uncertainty still lurked. “No matter what happens, we enjoy our time together.”
That wasn’t enough for him, though. Ambiguous memories and intuition sliced fear through his thoughts. He couldn’t help the sad turn of his lips or the insecurity in his eye. “If I am a cold-blooded murderer, will you still think of me fondly?”
It wasn’t a fair question to ask, he knew that. But he couldn’t stop himself.
The apprentice’s mind imagined finding proof of Julian’s part in Lucio’s death. Hardcore, non-negotiable proof that the doctor had callously ended the Count’s life. However, Xixa found it hard to pretend. From recollections, Lucio had been awful, both as a ruler and a person. The townspeople didn’t seem to mind his absence. The also didn’t seem afraid of the doctor. In fact, Xixa was willing to bet there were others – besides Kori – who’d do anything to keep Julian away from the gallows.
Julian watched her, silently. His eye wide and a nervous twist to his lips. Xixa’s heart fluttered under his gaze. Trying to imagine feeling any other way, other than affectionate and tender, toward him seemed impossible.“Yes. I’ll always think of you fondly, Julian.”
Heat flared through Julian, pleasant and giddy. He swept down, catching the apprentices lips against his. Xixa squeaked at the sudden kiss, but pressed herself into the warmth. Delightful tingles raced down their bodies as they deepened their kiss, holding each other close.
A caw from the raven shattered their moment. The bird flapped its wings wildly, tap-tap-tapping along the edge of a roof. Julian and Xixa knew that meant guards approaching. The apprentice gave the blushing doctor a soft smile, untangling herself from the embrace.
The two darted down an alleyway, their hands clasped tightly, as the light of the day completely faded to blue night.
#thearcanagame#the arcana game#julian devorak#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak x apprentice#julian devorak x xixa#xixa#my writing
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All The New Albums Coming Out In February 2019
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Keeping track of all the new albums coming out in a given month is a big job, but we’re up for it: Below is a comprehensive list of the major releases you can look forward to in February. If you’re not trying to potentially miss out on anything, it might be a good idea to keep reading.
Friday, February 1
American Authors — Seasons (Universal Island Records)
Andrew Wasylyk — The Paralian (Athens Of The North)
Astronoid — Astronoid (Blood Music)
Atomic — Pet Variations (ODIN)
Beirut — Gallipoli (4AD)
Big Wild — Superdream (Counter Records)
Blank Range — In Unison (Sturdy Girls/Thirty Tiger)
Broods — Don’t Feed The Pop Master (Neon Gold/Atlantic)
Boy Harsher — Careful (Nude Club)
Bravo Delta — Unbreakable (self-released)
Business Of Dreams — Ripe For Anarchy (Slumberland Records)
Busted — Half Way There (EastWest U.K.)
Cassadee Pope — Stages (Awake Music LLC)
Cherry Glazzer — Stuffed & Ready (Secretly Canadian)
Dave Harrington (of Darkside) — Pure Imagination, No Country (Yeggs Records)
Deep State — The Path To Fast Oblivion (Friendship Fever)
Deer Tick — Mayonnaise (Partisan Records)
Emily King — Scenery (ATO Records)
Finlay Shakespeare — Domestic Economy (Editions Mego)
Folamour — Ordinary Drugs (FHUO Records)
G Herbo — Still Swervin (Machine Entertainment Group)
Gentle Heat — Liminal EP (Skeletal Lightning)
Girlpool — What Chaos Is Imaginary (ANTI‐)
Guided By Voices — Zeppelin Over China (Rockathon Records)
Hajk — Drama (Jansen Records)
Harriet Brown — Mall Of Fortune (Innovative Leisure)
Highasakite — Uranium Heart (Propeller Recordings)
J.S. Ondara — Tales Of America (Verve Forecast Records)
Jealous Of The Birds — Wisdom Teeth EP (Big Space Records)
Jon Samuel — Dead Melodies (Hidden Pony Records)
Karolina Rose — Invicta EP (Violet Sunset Records)
Le Butcherettes — Bi/Mental (Rise Records)
Leon Vynehall — DJ-Kicks (!K7)
Lexie Liu — 2030 (88rising)
Listen To Girl — Long-Term World (Earthly Habit)
The Lonely Heartstring Band — Smoke & Ashes (Rounder Records)
Lost Cousins — In Scenery (Pheromone Records)
Lou Doillon — Soliloquy (Wrasse Records)
Luttrell — Into Clouds (Anjunadeep)
Mandolin Orange — Tides Of A Teardrop (Yep Roc Records)
Masaki Batoh — Nowhere (Drag City)
Mörglbl — The Story Of Scott Rötti (The Laser’s Edge)
The Moth & The Flame — Ruthless (Robot Farming)
Nina Nesbitt — The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change (Cooking Vinyl)
Onydia — Reflections (Revalve Records)
Patrick Daphier — Say I’m Pretty (YK Records)
Pedro Vian — Pedro Vian (Modern Obscure Music)
Rustin Man (Talk Talk’s Paul Webb) — Drift Code (Domino Recording Company)
Small Talks — A Conversation Between Us (Common Ground Records)
Soen — Lotus (Silver Lining Music)
The Sonic Dawn — Eclipse (Heavy Psych Sounds)
The Specials — Encore (UMC)
Spielbergs — This Is Not The End (By The Time It Gets Dark)
Thyla — What’s On Your Mind EP (REX Records)
Tim Bowness — Flowers At The Scene (Inside Out Music)
Tiny Ruins — Olympic Girls (Milk! Records)
Ward Thomas — Restless Minds (Sony Music CG)
The Western Den — A Light Left On (The Western Den)
White Lies — Five ([PIAS])
Within Temptation — Resist (Vertigo Berlin)
Yugen Blakrok — Anima Mysterium (Cylid Sarl DBA I.O.T Records)
Friday, February 8
Ageist — Babyface (Arctic Rodeo Recordings)
Amy McCarley — Meco (MECO Records)
Ariana Grande — Thank U, Next (Republic Records)
Be Forest — Knocturne (We Were Never Being Boring Collective)
Bob Mould — Sunshine Rock (Merge Records)
Busted — Half Way There (EastWest U.K.)
Cass McCombs — Tip Of The Sphere (ANTI‐)
Charlie Faye & The Fayettes — The Whole Shebang (Bigger Better More Records)
Charlotte Adigéry — Zandoli EP (DEEWEE)
CJ Boyd — Kin Ships (Joyful Noise Recordings)
Flat Worms — Into The Iris EP (GOD?)
Geezer — Spiral Fires EP (Kozmik Artifactz)
Health — Vol. 4 :: Slaves Of Fear (Loma Vista Recordings)
Henry Jamison — Gloria Duplex (Akira Records)
Jessica Pratt — Quiet Signs (Mexican Summer)
John Diva & The Rockets Of Love — Mama Said Rock Is Dead (Steamhammer)
Jozef Van Wissem and Jim Jarmusch — An Attempt To Draw Aside The Veil (Sacred Bones)
Kicker — Pure Drivel (Tankcrimes)
King Of Foxes — Salt & Honey (Olivia Street)
LCD Soundsystem — Electric Lady Sessions (DFA Records)
The Lemonheads — Varshons 2 (Fire Records)
Matty Carlock — The Jailbirds (115 Collective)
Michael Chapman — True North (Paradise of Bachelors)
Moes Anthill — Quitter (TOURBOmusic)
Panda Bear — Buoys (Domino Recording Company)
Queen Zee — Queen Zee (Sasstone Records)
Radiant Baby — Restless (Lisbon Lux Records)
Rosy Vista — Unbelievable (Steamhammer)
Ryan Lott (of Son Lux) — Pentaptych (This Is Meru)
Said The Whale — Cascadia (Arts & Crafts)
Silk Road Assassins — State Of Ruin (Planet Mu)
Sister Hazel — Fire EP (Croakin’ Poet Records)
Talos — Far Out Dust (BMG Rights Management (US) LLC)
Tunic — Complexion (Self Sabotage Records)
Various Artists — Music Inspired By The Film Roma (Sony Music)
Windswept — The Onlooker (Season of Mist Underground Activists)
Xiu Xiu — Girl With Basket Of Fruit (Polyvinyl Record Co.)
Y La Bamba — Mujeres (Tender Loving Empire)
Yak — Pursuit Of Momentary Happiness (Third Man Records)
Friday, February 15
Andromo & Chris Fortier — Shape & Form EP (Rainforest Music)
Anemone — Beat My Distance (Royal Mountain Records)
Avril Lavigne — Head Above Water (BMG Rights Management (US) LLC)
Baby Goth — Baby EP (Republic Records)
Bedstudy — Dot Wave EP (Grand Jury Music)
Bellamy Brothers — Over The Moon (Bellamy Brothers Records)
Betty Who — Betty (Kobalt)
Bis — Slight Disconnects (Last Night From Glasgow )
Bjarki — Happy Earthday (!K7 Records)
Black Taffy — Elder Mantis (Leaving Records)
Boo Ray — Tennessee Alabama Fireworks (BRRB Music)
Broken Social Scene — Let’s Try The After — Vol 1 EP (Arts & Crafts)
Brookhaven and Scatter Swept — Modern Remains (Expel Records)
C’mon Tigre — Racines (BDC)
Chain Wallet — No Ritual (Jansen Records)
Chaka Khan — Hello Happiness (Island)
Crystal Lake — Helix (SharpTone Records)
Czarface and Ghostface Killah — Czarface Meets Ghostface (Get On Down)
Dale Watson — Call Me Lucky (Compass Records)
Dead Pollys — Strummerland (Too Loud Records)
Dear Seattle — Don’t Let Go (Domestic La La)
Electric Mary — Mother (Listenable Records)
Elena Setién — Another Kind Of Revolution (Thrill Jockey)
Endon — Boy Meets Girl (Thrill Jockey)
Florida George Line — Can’t Say I Ain’t Country (Big Machine)
Gemma Ray — Psychogeology (Bronzerat)
Golden Daze — Simpatico (Autumn Tone Records)
Greg Jacquin — Clocks Slow Down (self-released)
Hajk — Drama (Jansen Records)
Hayes Carll — What It Is (Dualtone Music Group, Inc.)
Holiday Ghosts — West Bay Playroom (PNKSLM Recordings)
Holiday Gunfire — Holiday Gunfire (Cornelius Chapel Records)
Homeshake — Helium (Royal Mountain Records)
Hugh Marsh — Volinvocations (estern Vinyl)
Insane Clown Posse — Fearless Fred Fury (Psychopathic Records)
Jon Fratelli (of The Fratellis) — Bright Night Flowers (Cooking Vinyl)
Komraus — Untie The Ropes (M.A.R.S. Music)
Ladytron — Ladytron (Nettwerk)
The Long Ryders — Psychedelic Country Soul (Omnivore Recordings)
Lucille Furs — Another Land (Treehouse Record Co.)
Marlon Hoffstadt — Simple Communication EP (Midnight Themes)
Methyl Ethel — Triage (4AD)
Millencolin — SOS (Epitaph Records)
The Munsens — Unhanded (Sailor Records)
Nubiyan Twist — Jungle Run (Strut Records)
Peter Mulvey — There Is Another World (Righteous Babe)
Perfect Son — Cast (Sub Pop)
Picture This — Mdrn Lv (Universal Records)
Piroshka — Brickbat (Bella Union)
Quin Galavis — Victim / Non-Victim (Super Secret Records)
Rina Mushonga — In A Galaxy ([PIAS] Recordings Holland)
Ry X — Unfurl (Infectious Music)
Ryan Bingham — American Love Song (Axster Bingham Records)
Savage Mansion — Revision Ballads (Lost Map Records)
Seth Walker — Are You Open? (Royal Potato Family)
Shiny Darkly — Bronze (Crunchy Frog Records)
Shook Twins — Some Good Lives (Dutch Records)
Signo Rojo — End Of Tether EP (No Echo at THIS LOCATION)
Sir Babygirl — Crush On Me (Father/Daughter Records)
SP’s — Rise/Fall EP (Baby Robot Records)
Stats (of Dua Lipa) — Other People’s Lives (Memphis Industries)
Swmrs — Berkeley’s On Fire (Fueled by Ramen)
Trdmrk — Trdmrk EP (Hot Plate Records)
Tourist — Everyday (Monday Records)
Volcano — The Island (Tee Pee)
Voyou — Les Bruits De La Ville (Entreprise)
Wicca Phase Springs Eternal — Suffer On (Run For Cover Records)
Woman’s Hour — Ephyra (Practise Music)
Xixa — The Code EP (Dust & Stone Records)
Yann Tiersen — All (Mute Records)
Young Hunting — True Believers (Gold Robot Records)
Friday, February 22
A Fragile Tomorrow — Generation Loss (The ILS Group)
Adia Victoria — Silences (Canvasback/ATL)
Andreya Triana — Life In Colour (Hi-Tea Records)
Andy Frasco — Change Of Pace (Fun Machine Records)
Badflower — Ok, I’m Sick (Big Machine Records/John Varvatos Records)
Bayonne — Drastic Measures (Mom + Pop Music)
Bellows — The Rose Gardener (Topshelf)
Benny Sings — City Pop (Stones Throw Records)
Booze Control — Forgotten Lands (Gates Of Hell Records)
Burnt Tapes — Never Better (Wiretap Records)
Candlemass — The Door To Doom (Napalm Records)
Chris Welch And The Cicada Killers — Shook (Denton independent)
The Claypool Lennon Delirium — South Of Reality (ATO)
Cochemea Gastelum — All My Relations (Daptone Records)
Cyrille Aimée — Move On: A Sondheim Adventure (Mack Avenue Music Group)
Dead Witches — The Final Exorcism (Heavy Psych Sounds)
Down To The Bunker — Misery (Tenacity Music)
Dream Theater — Distance Over Time (InsideOut Music)
Drekka — No Tracks In The Snow (Dais Records)
Drenge — Strange Creatures (Infectious Music)
Dronte — Quelque Part Entre La Guerre Et La Lâcheté (Apathia Records)
Emilie Kahn — Outro (Secret City Records)
Feed Me — High Street Creeps (Mau5trap)
Feels — Post Earth (Wichita Recordings)
Fling — Fling Or Die (Dance to the Radio)
Funeral Advantage — Nectarine (Sleep Well Records)
Gatekeeper — Grey Maiden EP (Cruz Del Sur Music)
Ghost Iris — Apple Of Discord (Long Branch Records)
Ghost Ship Octavius — Delirium (Iceburn Multimedia)
Gypsy Chief Goliath — Masters Of Space And Time (Kozmik Artifactz)
Haulm — Posture EP (Grand Jury Music)
Higher Brothers — Five Stars (88rising)
Hot 8 Brass Band — Take Cover EP (Tru Thoughts)
Idyll Green — When Love Ends, Be The Water EP (Guac, Don’t Run)
James Yorkston — The Route To The Harmonium (Domino Recording Company)
Jocelyn & Chris Arndt — The Fun In The Fight (Bridge Road Entertainment)
Julia Jacklin — Crushing (Liberation Records)
Kim Lenz — Slowly Speeding (Blue Star Record Company)
King Apathy — Wounds (Lifeforce Records)
Lil Halima — For The Dark Days EP (Universal Music/Def Jam Recordings Norway)
Lil Pump — Harverd Dropout (Warner Bros.)
Lily & Madeline — Canterbury Girls (New West Records)
Luther Russell — Medium Cool (Fluff and Gravy)
Major Murphy — Lafayette EP (Winspear)
Martin Frawley (of Twerps) — Undone At 31 (Merge Records)
Maxïmo Park — As Long As We Keep Moving (Cooking Vinyl Limited)
Michael Rother (of Neu!) — Solo (Groenland Records)
MSB — Short Stories (CEN/The Orchard)
Mxmjoy (Maximum Joy) — P.E.A.C.E ()London Field Recordings
Moving Panoramas — In Two (Modern Outsider)
Murray A. Lightburn — Hear Me Out (Dangerbird Records)
Mykele Deville — Maintain (No Trend)
Nakhane — You Will Not Die (BMG Rights Mgmt France SARL)
The National Lights — Whom The Sea Will Keep EP (BloodShake Records)
The O’Jays — The Last Word (S-Curve)
Peter Bjorn And John — EPBJ EP (INGRID)
R. Stevie Moore — Afterlife (Bar/None Records)
Red Beard Wall — The Fight Needs Us All (Argonauta Records)
RKCB — Shores EP (AllPoints)
Sanhedrin — The Poisoner (High Roller Records)
The Saxophones — Singing Desperately Suite EP (Full Time Hobby)
Sleaford Mods — Eton Alive (Extreme Eating Records)
Spelling — Mazy Fly (Sacred Bones Records)
Susanna & The Brotherhood Of Our Lady — Garden Of Earthly Delights (SusannaSonata)
Susto — Ever Since I Lost My Mind (Rounder Records)
Tedeschi Trucks Band — Signs (FanTasy)
Telekinesis — Effluxion (Merge Records)
Vandoliers — Forever (Bloodshot Records)
Various Artists — Kitsuné Parisien 4 (Kitsune)
Yola — Walk Through Fire (Easy Eye Sound/Nonesuch)
source https://uproxx.com/music/new-albums-coming-out-this-month-february-2019/
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Radio host, and music journalist for Burning Hot Events, Nick Gonzaga tells the tale of his adventures at the 9th annual Apache Lake Music Festival (2018) in Roosevelt, AZ; featuring hot local music including Haley Green, House of Stairs, The Edisons, Ali A And The Agency, Banter, The Sugar Thieves, The Woodworks, The Psychedelephants, Future Exes, Hyperbella, Wyves, Banana Gun, XIXA, Japhy's Descent, Sara Robinson and more: http://bit.ly/2FdXeVY
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Last Updated March 18th 2024
Hello everyone I'm Star! I am:
30+ | Non-Binary | She/They Pronouns. Please!
Married | Bisexual | From the North-East US
This is my FFXIV Hub Blog where you will find things associated with but not limited to:
My OCs/My Friends OCs
My GPOSE Work/Other's GPOSE Work
My FFXIV Writes Stories/Other's FFXIV Writes Stories
Macro Dancing Performances/ How to Guides
Art, lots and lots of it, I like to promote artists when I can!
Wol Questions of the Day Answers
FFXIV Event Announcements
A Link to my OC Hub Carrd
A Link to my GPOSE Portfolio, I do commissions!
Links to my IC Character Inspiration Blogs
Anything Else FFXIV that I find!
A way to get in touch with me
My Main FFXIV OCs
Dimitri Jienuex
Dimitri is Viviane's brother who was raised in Old Sharlayan his common themes are: Being an occult investigator working for the Adders, Painting, Old Books and Maps, Performing when the mood strikes, Learning about the Shroud, and exploring life outside of Sharlayan.
Inspiration Tumblr
Carrd
Dimitri is looking to:
Make friends he can hang out with!
Take on cases dealing with cults, ritual magic, malfunctioning relics and artifacts, and missing persons (always open to your ideas as well!)
Hear the news from Old Sharlyan! (is your character Sharlyan he would love to meet them. Pre-arranged hooks possible!)
Baroness Viviane Jienuex -Vimaroix
A runaway Ishgardian Noble ends up in the Shroud where they meet the loves of their life and come to understand what life is all about. Their most common themes are: Life as a Performer, Adventuring, Owning a Bakery, Tarot Reading, Nymeia Worship, and Slice of Life-Family Themes.
Carrd
Inspiration Tumblr
Viviane is looking to:
Meet other Nobles from Ishgard as well as other lands.
Network with other performers (duets and group numbers welcome)
Do Tarot Card Readings for the Community at Large
Visit Bakeries, Cafes, and restaurants to expand her knowledge.
Doctor Xixa Loonsi
A once Conjury student and Hearer from Stillglade Fane tells the Padjal where they can shove their rules and laws then embarks out on her own to have the life that she dreamed of. Her most common themes are: Conjury The Elements, Medicine (high interest in odd illnesses with no known cure), Medicinal Herbs, Medicine Making (Alchemy), Shroud Politics, Magic Lessons, and Menphina Worship.
Carrd
Inspiration Tumblr
Xixa is looking to:
Meet others from the Shroud
Make Professional Connections with other Doctors
See new Patients with odd illnesses
Have open discussions with like minds
Feel free to look me up on Twitter and Blue Sky as well. Thank You for reading!!
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For those who have read my ffxivwrite 2023 stories. You have come across a character named Xixa Loonsi that keeps popping up in them. I love this character so much that I made her in game!!
It always feels good when a new OC comes out of story writing.
#my ocs#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv rp#xixa#thanks ffxivwrite2023 for the inspiration#isn't she just the cutest.
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FFXIV Writes 2023 | Day 30 | Amity
Woodsin cleansed and a new friend made this chapter of Dimitr's story comes to an end.
“Are you alright there Sonny?” Xixa’s voice came from a nearby tree stump where she sat watching over Dimitri who lay in the cool grass staring up into the light of the Harvest Moon that poured down on both of them. He had been that way since the end of the purification ritual and Xixa was starting to get concerned about her student for he was not one to be quiet. When he didn’t answer she got up from her sitting spot and padded across the way to sit down closer to him, this time on a large rock that allowed her to curl her legs under her as it was primarily flat, while she did this she mulled over all the steps of the rites to make sure she didn’t miss any of them and put him in harm's way. While the elements slept it was the Shroud and anything could go wrong.
“I am alright Xixa” Dimitri finally said, his voice quite far away. In many ways, it reminded Xixa of a spirit that had left its vessel behind to roam the shroud with new eyes, an exploration she had heard some of the Witches speak of before. It often gave new purpose to those who were called upon to take the walk.
“I feel different.” The Sharlayan admitted, his arms crossing across his chest where he comfortably laid them in a hug-like fashion, the elation of the dances, Xixa beseeching the elements to bless him. At this moment he couldn’t understand why he had hunted these people or even distrusted them the way he had. There was such beauty in their knowledge, in the things that they did to protect the people and places that they loved unconditionally. There was much the scholars of Old Sharlayan could learn here if they just opened their eyes as he had.
“All my life.” Dimitri quietly continued as he watched stars dart across the sky above him. “I have lived with the thoughts that the Forum knows best, that they do as they do to guard their people. I learned without question and I served without question. I did not fight when they sent my friends and I to Garlemald even though most of us were teachers or scientists who were not prepared to be in a field of war. It was what you did, if the Forum requested it you followed it through. Those who argued? Found themselves disowned by their families and excommunicated by their nation. Ninety-nine people knew better than you, such an odd thing now that I look at it, ninety-nine people told the citizens what to do, not one like Gridania and the other City-States I have learned.” A fall breeze blew across his face as he spoke and he found himself taking comfort in it. It was one of the sweetest sensations he had felt all night. There was much he had thought about as he danced, things the others had told him over the last moon as he prepared for this night. His decision not to return to Sharlayan was now cemented in stone, he would go down fighting before he ever willingly returned to that place, no one should there be better ways to live.
“It is hard to wake up to the truth.” Xixa tried to smile but she had led Vi’s purification rites as well and she remembered what it was like for the girl as the fog in her mind cleared and she found peace in the Shroud’s arms. In a way, hearing Dimitri’s words now ignited a sense of nostalgia in her soul and assured her that he would be okay at the same time. “Sometimes I think, Sonny, that people start out with good intentions. They believe they are doing the right thing and then they just get carried away with what they are doing until they lose sight of their goals.” These were such sobering thoughts for the Miqo’te who had spent most of her life in the Shroud where they had their own problems and inequalities. Things that she was quite passionate about fighting herself but when she looked at the life the Jienuex children had lived it made her glad she did not grow up anywhere else even more.
“So now what? Where do we go from here?” Finally, he sat up, his curls bouncing all over his head. He had left his hair down tonight and dressed in plain robes. It was the most natural he had looked in many cycles now and he found it oddly comfortable to just be him.
“Well, you are free of the sin now. We accomplished what we needed to do. You are free to move into the cottage now and begin your life here. Stay true to your oaths and to the elements, use what you have learned to benefit the people and their growth and not yourself. You’ll be alright. I think you are smarter than you give yourself credit for. Now you can have your life with your Laurent.” Xixa sounded sad as she spoke, in fact, she kept her head turned so that she was looking off into the woods and not directly at him. What she was not willing to admit was that she would miss their odd little conversations and random visitations. It was the first time in a long time she had a friend.
“What I meant is will I still see you around?” Dimitri on the other hand was a rather bold man who was fairly good at speaking his mind, and especially so when he was as relaxed as he was now. “I have a lot to learn, especially now that Viviane succeeded in putting me in touch with my Aether. Not to mention, I am certain you know by now. She will be going to Coerthas with Clement and Kovalt to see what life would be like there. It would be nice to have a friend to have tea with when Laurent is out on duty.”
Xixa shot a look at him, and then one of her biggest grins formed, her fangs even glimmered in the light of the moon. Keepers really were becoming his favorite type of Miqo’te just that grin often eased his soul. “Well, at least Laurent doesn’t have to worry about me trying to take his man away. Not much interested in men these days. Haven’t been since the girls' Father was taken. One of those things ya know? He was meant to be mine and that was that. Besides, women are way more fun.”
“Mm, I suppose we are even on that.” Dimitri offered in return, finally hauling his tall frame off of the ground to go over and sit by Xixa on the rock and as he sat he drew his legs up under him. “I grew up knowing they would expect me to get married and give them children. Duty was one thing, but my heart would have never been in it. I did not think it was fair for whatever woman they would have paired me with to get their end result. I was also only theirs in name alone, my genetics was the furthest thing from theirs. Once I turned twenty-one summers I petitioned the Forum to let me use my birth name for it belonged to me. I won. It was a narrow margin but I won.”
From the pocket of her heavy robe, the Miqo’te pulled her flask, the same he had found her drinking as they spoke of what she had left the Guild, the cork making a pleasing popping sound, and the strong scent of Shroud made Whiskey reach his nose. “Nobles suck.” Xixa said with a straight face “Don’t care what land they are from there isn’t anything good about them especially when they are arranging marriages and ordering grandchildren like that.” lifting the flask to her lips she tilted her head to one side looking out of the corner of her eye “Finally admitting to it though. Good for you. Vi had told me that you kept insisting you could be with either and I kept telling her she was wrong. You don’t even flirt with a woman, Sonny. That is one of those telling things to a person who knows better.” she offered him a wink, then took a swig from her flask holding it out to him a moment later in a sign of friendship.
“Doubt you and I could end the strife against the Duskwight and the Mooncats but I think we’d be a damn good team to try, though I wonder how your Laurent will take it being a Wildwood and all when he finds out your new friend is me.” A warm chuckle came from her then, it came from somewhere deep within her chest this time and quickly became a whole-body laugh.
“Never know, I am pretty good at being a diplomat. Maybe I could talk some sense into them.” Despite what he said, he knew better. He had read numerous accounts of what was held against the races since the times of Gelmorra and it didn’t help that many of their kin were poachers and bandits now to prevent themselves from living in squalor. Still, it was a hope to have and a dream to believe that someday all that lived in the Shroud would be aligned and balanced after all he and Laurent had already shown a relationship between a Duskwight and a Wildwood was not only possible; but rich and rewarding.
“Maybe, but for now let’s drink” Xixa waved her flask at him “It’s how we declare we have found an amity here in the Shroud, good fashion Shroud liquor and a bunch of laughs”
And so an entire moon went by for the Sharlayan and with it came many changes that would contribute to a bright future or would it? For even now as he celebrated his new friendship with the Mooncat something gnawed at his stomach that said this was only a momentary place of peace.
Thank you to all who have read these stories this month. I appreciate it. The final word count for both threads I used for this was 50,329. I surpassed my goal by 329 words, but now I know I can do it.
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FFXIV Writes 2023 | Day 29 | Contravention
Dimitri learns the story of why his Mentor, Xixa, stormed out of the Conjurers Guild.
“What was it like growing up here Xixa?” It was mid-afternoon and Dimitri had headed into Bentbrach to help his mentor move things around in her living room while her girls were out on errands. It was the kind of work he was used to really, being as tall and as strong as he was he was always getting pulled this way and that way by his adoptive Mother’s friends to move this or haul that for them.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up anywhere else really,” Miqo'te replied with a swish of her oversized tail, at times, Dimitri found himself believing that she was using it to dust the tables and the floors as she moved around the room but really it seemed to have a mind of its own. “Have to remember, when I was growing up it wasn’t like this, lots changed around here since the Calamity. I still remember watching the Conjurers maintain the hedge that once wrapped around the Twelveswood, part of the reason I presented myself to the Guild anyways.” There was a gentle snort at the word guild and off to the side she moved.
“I have wondered why you are no longer part of the Guild.” Dimitri had been dying to ask her since he first found out she had been dismissed. It wasn’t an easy thing to bring up, however, especially to a woman as stern as Xixa and he knew if he asked Laurent about it he was libel to get another snort since the Wailer was not one to gossip himself. One thing he made sure to do was stay busy while he asked if there were things that had to be moved out of the way to get to the larger bulk of the furniture. What this did not help with was the feeling of eyes staring into the back of his head as if they were trying to burn holes through to his skull.
“Told one of the Padjal to fuck off,” Xixa said, and Dimitri could hear the grin in her voice without even turning to see if she was in fact grinning. “I know Vi was there to teach about the War of the Magi.” Xixa continued on moving plants, then stopping to rub her right hip, the Shroud’s weather hadn’t been all that great and it felt like a storm was rolling in; even Dimitri could feel the hair on the back of his neck standing up which usually indicated there was Levin in the air. At her admission, he couldn’t help but look over his shoulder finding her still rubbing her hip.
“Why don’t you sit Xixa? I have this.” The Duskwight said kindly, he knew a look of pain when he saw one, he had seen similar on Laurent’s face after a long week of work and his heart always went out to him. He was still a bit off from thirty himself but he was starting to feel the ache in his bones that he had heard others speak about here and there. He even remembered the night that he saw Vi working out the shoulder that she had broken on a mission several cycles earlier when she was still doing mercenary work in the Shroud.
“I’m not that old Sonny!” Xixa griped back while walking towards her oversized couch and easing herself into a comfortable sitting position. This made Dimitri snicker rather loudly for the Miqote’s mouth and her body had two different ideas on what they should be doing and he made a motion with his hand to point out where she had ended up to which he was rewarded one proudly extended middle finger to tell him what Xixa thought of him at the moment.
“I am like a son to you and you know it.” He teased in return continuing with the chore of moving the plants around and collecting books the girls had left on various tables.
“More like a red-headed step-Elezen.” Xixa’s grin enveloped her face again, while she wiggled her rear and settled herself into the couch, her tail flopping over her legs and twitching about while she watched him do her housework. “To continue the story. I am certain by now you have heard of the crystals that store memories of those before us, or those who knew how to make them. These stones often contain what is considered forbidden knowledge now or at least knowledge that had been outlawed. Here in the Shroud, they will spank you for the use of White Magic or Black Magic. It is considered highly illegal and policed by both the Wailers and the Gods’ Quiver, even worse is letting one of those little horned things catch you with a Stone you might be secretly learning from.”
Now Dimitri was interested, he was in possession of his own crystal. One that had been willed to him by his birth Mother and one that he had no success in unlocking. From what he knew of the symbol on it, it was a Scholar Stone, the one that summoned the Fae tied to it from whom he could learn. The crystal hated him, he had sat with it before to see if he could collect anything from it but it always left him with a headache and chills. He also knew that Vi had two stones. One was given to her by the Blue Mages to store her spells in, and the other he believed to be from the time of Mhachi but she kept that locked up in the vault in Ishgard for reasons unknown to him.
“I am going to guess that you are in possession of one of these stones and it was found out?” He kept his voice neutral; he also didn’t reveal his own truth. This time collection Xixa’s knitting things to move them across the room in order to keep them safe from the large hutch with all the family's dishes that were on Xixa’s list of things to move. Now and then he would sneak a look at the Miqo’te who sat there with her tail snapping about in such a fashion that Dimitri began to believe that he had in fact riled his mentor up with his line of questioning.
“Why, yes I am.” She said proudly, her nose going right up into the air. “As the story goes my Great Grandpa was searching the Ruins of Amdapor and he heard something calling to him. He was a bit of a troublemaker who had his hands in all sorts of things that they didn’t belong in. Well over the cycles that damned stone called to the next in line to receive it. It has always been someone who was destined to be a Conjurer and in my generation of the family, it was my turn. Once it is in the hands of the right person it will fill your head with so much knowledge that you feel like you have been drinking. We never figured out why we are so sensitive to it but we are. Not sure if one of my girls will be next to get it or if it will be one of the nieces and nephews got a few dozen around here.”
Dimitri finally stopped moving to turn around and listen to his mentor, his hip balancing him against the hutch so that he could lean comfortably. “Well I know you are a smart one and I cannot see you being the type to out yourself about something you aren’t supposed to have, so I am going to deduce you were betrayed by someone that you trusted, and they, in turn, sold you out for praise from the padjal.”
Xixa broke into a laugh, and her head shook slowly. “Sometimes I forget you are an Investigator” Dimitri gave her a thankful smile, she was one of the few who had not started calling him a Witchunter, even his sister was at this point and while he tried to smile through it, it was quickly becoming disheartening to him. “Anyroads, you are right on the gil there. Was actually someone I cared for dearly, who did the deed too. She was a model student that one, Elezen, and she had her head wrapped around how to move air and conjure stone. It was damn impressive to watch her. She had earned the respect of the Padjal and rumor had it that someday she would make White Mage herself if she kept up the work she was doing under their guidance.”
Xixa got up at that point, and moved to grab a flask that she hid inside of her knitting basket, and on the way back to her place on the couch she popped the cork on the flask, the scent of strong whiskey pouring from it. “Well I got into my head to show her, I didn’t think anything of it. We had been friends from the time we were wee sprouts. In fact, I thought she would be as curious as me. Instead, she got angry with me and went as far as to yell at me for breaking the rules of the Shroud. I hadn’t even tried to use it yet. Just kept it in its pouch and hidden even though I could hear it babbling all night and all day trying to catch my attention. Went into the guild the next morning for my shift at the Clinic and that is when they pulled me aside. I was searched, interrogated, and demanded to turn over the stone. Accused of putting the people of the Shroud in jeopardy even though it had been floating around my family for over a hundred cycles by then.”
Dimitri’s eyes widened as he caught the passion in her voice, even behind the thick glasses he always wore they looked larger than they ever had, and he could feel the pain that wafted off of her from the betrayal by someone who had been that important to her. One thing he couldn’t find right now was the words that would make it better, but some things were just that way. There were no words. there was only time and space even if it took until the end of her days here and continued on into the Sea with her. It was something he felt he could not fix.
“And that’s when I told them to fuck off, dared them to come find me, and stormed out of the guild never to return. Yes, I broke the rules by having the stone. So did my papa before me and his papa before him. We are responsible people in my family. Learning is one thing, there just ain’t anything wrong with it, Sonny using something you know is dangerous in an area that is a danger itself? That is just plain irresponsible. That should have been thought of instead of oh no Xixa has a White Mage stone. We need to take it away. Had I been an El..” she paused herself for a moment looking at Dimitri in thought. “If I had been a Wildwood “ she decided to use instead “They would have let me keep it and likely taught me how to use it but nah I’m a Keeper of the Moon and you wouldn’t have any better luck than me.”
Dimitri blinked and then blinked again. He had heard some talk around the Shroud about the Keepers and the Duskwight understanding each other fairly well but he had never heard Xixa put down the Wildwood before, she even seemed to like Laurent from the way that she praised Dimitri’s relationship with him. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me saying anything,” Dimitri replied back with a smile and a hand over his heart in an oath to his mentor. “Not that I would go near the guild anyway, we do not have them in Sharlayan. The Forum rules everything.”
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Weak
Summary: Post-Chariot chapter for Julian’s route. Xixa is at the shop alone, fending off angst. Julian enters, angstily. Things get even angstier. Angst angst angst. Did I mention there’s some angst?
This was supposed to be an indulgent steamy piece, but - apparently - Xixa has adopted some of Julian’s melodrama and the story did its own thing.
ヽ(￣д￣;)ノsaveme
Empty and cold, the magic shop hadn’t seen much in the way of customers all day. Xixa cursed the lack of customers. Lack of business meant her thoughts wandered and, right now, they wandered down to the docks. Xixa shut the memory out before it started, forcefully shoving a jar onto a cabinet shelf. No, she wasn’t going to think about that.
Asra was gone, off to the palace, experimenting with a handful of concoctions to ease the Countess’s headaches. Alone, it was so easy for Xixa to dwell on dismal things.
The bell above the door jingled a song of salvation. She turned, a soft smile on her lips, to greet the newcomer. Her heart sputtered.
It was Julian.
“What are you doing here?” Her words came out soft and quick. The urge to run toward him, bury her face in his chest and melt into his body heat clawed through her limbs.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” Julian couldn’t meet her gaze. His hand hovered near the doorknob, an evident battle to leave or stay wobbling through his thoughts. Even from across the store, Xixa could tell he was biting his bottom lip. When he spoke next, his words came strained, on the edge of tears, “I’m so weak.”
The bite of his last words painted the picture for Xixa. He was weak, pathetic. He had broken things off with Xixa to keep her safe and, here he was, fumbling back to her like a doddering puppy. Pain snaked up her chest, sinking into her heart. She didn’t think anything of the sort, but – Asra was right – Julian was his own worst enemy. Not simply a self-saboteur, but a self-deprecating vilifier.
She didn’t want him to have those feelings about himself.
“Just leave,” she heard herself saying. Her voice sounded distant to herself. They were words she didn’t want to let loose from her mouth, but deep down, she knew she had to. The sooner Julian left, the sooner they both could heal from their wayward… whatever they had.
Julian turned a wide eye toward her. Pain pinched his features. “Xixa?”
“Go.” The word came out stiff and harsh. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but Xixa swallowed them down. She just had to tamp them down a few more seconds. Pain bit into her palms, her fingers curled into tight, white-knuckled balls. He’d sprint out that door, soon enough. Find a nice ale to drown himself in, at the Rowdy Raven. What mattered was she was “safe” in his mind. Right?
Unable to take the pained look on his face while her own heart throbbed, Xixa turned her back on him. She returned to putting stock away, fingers trembling. Finally, the bell above the door gave a forlorn jingle. Xixa paused, placing a glass bottle down as she held her breath. The door latched and a harsh sob erupted from her throat, wracking her whole body. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as cold grief settled in her chest. How could one man trigger such drastic emotions in her?
She pressed a hand to her mouth, muffling her cries. Unbearable heat licked across her face as she pulled her elbows tighter to her body. She attempted to contain herself, control herself, but cracked under intense emotion.
Suddenly, firm hands grasped her shoulders from behind, forcing her to spin around. Xixa turned red-rimmed eyes up toward Julian. Her stomach turned leaden, lips trembling against her palm.
He leered down at her, frustration and hurt painted across his features. His eye darted around her face, taking in her puffy eyes, her saline-slicked cheeks, her reddened nose. When his gaze fell to her hand, still firmly clasped over her mouth, something in his face softened. Gently, his gloved hand lifted Xixa’s hand from her face.
His attention turned toward that extremity. Xixa glanced toward it, eyes catching on exactly what caught his attention. Four red crescents marred her palm, two oozing. He snagged her other hand in his gentle grip, finding four more bloody crescents. The apprentice looked away from his calculating expression, staring at his chest. Deep in the swirl of despondency, a little glimmer of delight and shame from his touch licked at her thoughts.
Julian momentarily released her hands from his grasp, though Xixa kept them up for him. They both knew what he had planned. He pulled his gloves off and dropped them to the floor, encasing her hands in his. His fingers gingerly nudged themselves between hers, his palms hot against hers. She squeezed his hands. Turning her tear-seared gaze to his face, Xixa ached to have more than their hands touch. Julian’s grey eye fixed on her face. A storm of emotions behind his expression. There was a warm softness, amid the pain and irritation and frustration, that struck the apprentice the hardest.
A new round of tears swelled in Xixa’s eyes. Beneath the collar of his coat, she could see the curse mark glow on his throat. The sizzle of magic nipped across her flesh. In seconds, her self-inflicted injuries jumped to Julian’s palms and faded.
They stayed like that for a breath. Their hands entwined, basking in such a minor touch and the beat of each others’ pulse. Julian was the one break the hold. He slid his hands from Xixa’s, bending to pick up his discarded gloves.
Xixa remained silent. The atmosphere still heavy and scented with magic. Her hand came up to her chest, rubbing against the dull throb beneath her sternum. Quietly, afraid to bring his attention to it, she whispered almost too soft to hear, “It still hurts.”
The doctor turned a startled look toward her. Maybe it was her voice or perhaps the thought of his curse no longer working properly. However, when Julian registered the sore spot Xixa rubbed, his shoulders sagged. With a hard swallow, he looked away from her and forced out, “I know. I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t help herself. Her hand drifted to his face, barely skirting her palm across his jawline. Electric delight slid down her arm, bursting into heat at her spine. The man closed his eyes, relaxing into her touch. Xixa knew she shouldn’t have done that. It just made things harder. She wanted to give in, though, wanted to coax him to stay. Or maybe just touch him until she was satisfied.
Which would be never.
“I…” Slowly, he opened his eye, staring owlishly at Xixa. Momentary temptation lit in his gaze. It was obvious he wanted to indulge, to savor what little touches they could eke out. Part of Xixa wanted him to give in. Award her with his kisses and touches and warmth. Make the pain dissipate under the heat of delight. Another part wanted him to stay strong, if only for his own sense of self-worth. A glassy sheen welled up in his eye as he pressed her hand back to her side. He could barely croak out, “I can’t stay.”
Numbness trickled over her. Too much energy, too many emotions, already spent… The apprentice couldn’t find the appropriate words. Heat daubed at the back of her eyes, but – for now – tears wouldn’t fall. She simply nodded glumly.
Julian didn’t move right away. He stared at her, opened his mouth as if to say something, then snapped it shut. With a shake of his head, he stepped away from Xixa. Distance, that’s what he wanted, Xixa gloomily watched him. Decisively, the doctor turned toward the door. Without another look back, determination propelling his feet forward, and the man left the shop.
Xixa’s heart shuddered, unhappily, as that damned bell chimed once more. This time, she knew Julian was gone. The magic shop felt colder and lonelier than ever.
Despite her personal misery, a small flare of pride for him heated her. She hoped, despite her heartache, Julian found some dignity for himself. The edge of her pain softened at that thought as she, very sloppily, closed shop.
#the arcana game#thearcanagame#julian devorak#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak x xixa#xixa#my writing
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Fire & Leeches - Ch. 4
Summary: Modern!AU (with magic.) Xixa is… well, not really enjoying but not hating a night out with Asra at one of Vesuvia’s famed clubs. However, her curiosity and interest become piqued when a particular band takes the stage.
Chapter Summary: Julian gives Xixa a ride home, finally. Then time passes and the witch gets two unexpected visitors at her store.
Ao3 Link
Tumblr Links: Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3
“I still can’t believe you drive a hearse!” It was the third time she had repeated her statement, laced with laughter and awe.
Julian couldn’t stop the grin that arched over his lips, thoroughly enjoying her delight. “As I’ve said before, it’s aesthetic.”
“It’s a hearse!” Xixa nearly squealed. This was absurd. If Julian was going for ‘eccentric rock star,’ he was hitting the nail on the head. “Where’d you even get it?”
“I borrowed it from a funeral home.”
“What?” That was even worse than just owning the vehicle. This was the car that led funeral processions and led the dead to their final resting place, and someone let Julian borrow it for – how’d he put it? - the gothique aesthetic. Xixa couldn’t stop smiling from the absolute ridiculousness of it. Either Julian was pulling her leg or he was very trusted by those who knew him. “How do you borrow a hearse from a funeral home?”
“Well, the hospital morgue does plenty of business with them.”
“Wait, you work at a morgue?” Xixa turned a curious look on Julian as the car slid to a stop at a red light. At the back of her mind, she was faintly amused by the gimmick that was Julian’s life. Her mind was racing with question after question. Maybe it was the quiet, intimacy of the car versus the crowded dressing room, or the slowly dissipating alcohol, but Xixa found herself jumping from one question to the next. She assumed, given Fire & Leeches’s popularity, the band was his life. If not, what else did he do? “The band isn’t a full-time thing?”
“The band is part-time, at best.” Though Julian enjoyed the time spent with his band mates, brainstorming lyrics and performing, it wasn’t enough to pay his rent. Or buy groceries. Or those tight pants he enjoyed wearing. Oddly, a lot of the people he brought home never got this far into his personal life. A slight paranoia nibbled at his thoughts.
“Is it, like, a hobby or are you hoping it gets noticed by a recording label?”
The witch seemed full of questions as soon as they sat down in his car. Then again, it was his fault for not preparing her for the appearance of his vehicle. However, he never had this many questions from others. Though, her glee at his answers was addicting to hear, an awkward stuffiness started to accumulate on Julian’s shoulders. Asra was involved with Xixa, to some extent.
Raising an eyebrow, Julian resisted the urge to glance over at her as the traffic light flashed green. “Did Asra not tell you anything about me?”
“He’s so hard to talk to,” sighed Xixa, drawing her gaze out the window. “If I pester him too much about a topic he doesn’t want to talk about, he takes off.”
The hurt in Xixa’s tone grazed some old pain in Julian’s chest. He knew exactly what she meant. However, curiosity itched at his thoughts. Adjusting his grip on the steering wheel and adjusting n his seat, the man tried to ask as conversationally as possible, “What has he said?”
“That your relationship was complicated, mostly. Though,” Xixa glanced over at Julian. Though he seemed relaxed, she knew he was hanging on her words. How couldn’t he? She lived with Asra, she knew the charm and almost otherworldly attractiveness the white-haired man possessed. And, from the few tidbits she’d received from Asra about Julian, she could imagine what was going through the redhead’s mind. As gently as possible, she finished, “He wasn’t pleased to see you at The Garden.”
A cold, unhappy chill settled in the pit of his stomach. “I suppose he wouldn’t be.”
“I’m sorry.” Xixa winced, slightly wishing she hadn’t answered Julian. She was missing fawning over the macabre aesthetic this easily-flustered man seemed to embody. “From the way Asra makes it sound, it was a rough time.”
Julian gave a bitter laugh under his breath. By this time, though, they had made it to their destination. Tucked away, between a thrift clothing store and a high-end tea shoppe, was Xixa’s home. A skinny, two-story brick building. The large, glass storefront housed an assortment of crystals, rocks, mystic books, and more; but, for now, a rich velvet curtain obscured merchandise from view. From a hanging woodcut, the name ‘Esotericana’ coiled in calligraphic text; when open, the words would flash brilliantly in an assortment of colors. Now, the letters remained dark and sleeping. Behind the curtains on the second floor – her apartment – a couple lights blazed.
Seeing home brought warm familiarity through Xixa’s body. “Thank you for the ride, Julian.”
“It was my pleasure,” he purred with a grin. He added, as a mock afterthought, “Well, maybe not getting stabbed.”
Xixa leaned back in her seat, her lips curling into a wry grin. When she didn’t say anything, Julian hazarded a glance her way. Her expression said it all. A hot thrill shot down to his core as a flush crept across his ears, daring to make its way across his face. He couldn’t hold her knowing gaze.
“I think we both know that’s a lie,” Xixa leaned across the small space that separated them. Julian tensed, the scent of her surrounding him for the moment. She placed a quick peck on his cheek, emboldened by the lingering alcohol in her veins – or maybe by his blushing.
Before she could pull back entirely, Julian’s hand came up, catching her by the back of her head. Her heart stuttered, a flush nipping at her cheeks. Their lips met in a crushing, desperate kiss. Xixa pressed into it, a sighing gasp escaping her lips as her eyes closed. Body heat raised, almost instantly, a bubble of warmth lapping at her skin. The urge to touch him arched through her brain, overriding her ‘I shouldn’t be doing this’ sense.
Her hands drifted down from his chest, down his abdomen, to the area of throbbing heat below his belt. Ambient heat licked over her skin, tantalizing and teasing. When her palm pressed over his bulge, Julian groaned into their kiss, rolling his hips toward her touch. The sound sent a deep vibration right to her core.
Julian’s free hand drifted down the side of Xixa’s body, fingers curling to grip her hip. His fingers at the back of her head tangled in her hair, sending delightful prickles across her flesh. Xixa couldn’t think straight. All the sensations, the heat, her heart pounded. After nipping at his lower lip – eliciting a shudder from the man – Xixa pulled back, breaking the kiss. Staring up at Julian, eyes drinking over his blushing features in the slight light sneaking in from a street lamp, her lips curled into a smile.
Julian cracked his eye open, gazing into Xixa’s pleased look. She looked like a cat eyeing a caged bird. It made a sharp shiver trail down his spine. She palmed his groin firmly, fingers massaging his growing hardness through his jeans. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip, choking down a moan and face heating as his hips – yet again – jerked toward her, involuntarily. Those lips of hers curled into an even more pleased smile. Blearily, he realized how heavenly this moment felt, compared to earlier.
…until the shrill scream of a phone sang out.
The two of them froze, staring at each other through their hormonal fog. Realization drilled into Xixa’s mind, especially once she realized whose ringtone was playing.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Xixa gasped, breathless. She dove for her bag, riffling through it until she pulled out her glowing phone. ‘Asra’ emblazoned across the screen, calming the hormonal storm in her mind. A little prick of guilt colored her thoughts as she hit ‘silence.’ But… only a little.
Over her shoulder, Julian could see the name. Not that he hadn’t expected it. Clearing the desire out of his throat, the man sighed, “He’s probably worried.”
“I’m sorry, again.” This was like a cold shower being suddenly splashed on them. A part of Xixa wanted to scream in frustration. Another part patted her hand, consolingly, and told her it was for the best. But, she didn’t want this to be it. She didn’t want a sloppy make-out and heavy petting be the end of her interaction with Julian. “Want my number?”
“Yes! I mean-” Julian slapped a hand over his mouth, averting his gaze. His ears burned with embarrassment. He hadn’t felt this awkward and excited in a long time.
“You’re obscenely adorable, Julian.”
Her words were not helping his ear situation. Trying to alleviate his mortifying reaction, he wiggled his phone out of his pocket. After an exchange of numbers, and another silenced call from Asra, the two parted ways. Julian watched Xixa until she was safely inside Esotericana, before setting his car into drive and taking off into the night.
His phone glowed from the passenger seat, buzzing with texts from Portia. Julian wasn’t paying attention though. His mind replayed every touch, ever sound, every smile while basking in the ambient heat still contained in the car. He could still feel Xixa’s body pressed against him, so warm and soft. Julian gripped at the steering wheel tightly, mentally cursing. He was in trouble, wasn’t he?
x x x
A couple weeks passed since The Garden. The night still plagued Xixa’s memories, though. Frequently, faint little memories would sneak up on her as she was re-stocking the candles or straightening the tarot cards. Red hair, a grey eye, heat where he had touched her. She’d find herself humming Fire & Leeches songs to herself, especially after she bought an album of their hits from online.
Though, Xixa had been tempted to text him the very next morning, she had resisted the urge. If he wanted to keep talking to her, he could text her. He had her number. Besides, the witch felt the ball should be in his court. Who’s to say he didn’t just drop her off – maybe getting a little too handsy thanks to alcohol – out of gratitude for the healing? With further thought, maybe he didn’t even want to talk to her, again.
The thought made a cold clutch knot through her stomach. Since a couple weeks had passed, the witch figured she had her answer. Julian of Fire & Leeches didn’t want to talk to her. Though, Xixa had opened up his number, once or twice, tempted to start a conversation herself.
The days following her little clubbing excursion had been rough. Asra had been irritable, grousing about her staying out too late and staying out alone. After a couple days, he let it go. They returned to their easy-going days: working at the shoppe, going to the farmer’s market, checking out thrift stores. Then, as he always did, Asra packed his bags and headed out.
Leaving Xixa to tend to the shop, alone. And so her days drifted in and out, lulling one into the other. Though, she found herself eyeing her phone and heaving frustrated sighs more often than before.
The little bell hanging on the front door jingled, rousing the witch from where she organized pendulums. Turning, she gave her best customer service smile – shoving down her temptations – and welcomed the newcomer, “Welcome to Esotericana. We just a shipment of…”
Xixa couldn’t finish her sentence. Memories conflicted with the two who stood in the doorway. The taller one, quiet and imposingly muscular with long hair pulled back into a bun, eyeballed the selection of books off to the side. The shorter one – it was almost a crime to even use that adjective – stood awkwardly near the door, arms crossed. He eyed the shoppe with his good eye. While their appearance in her store was jarring, it was the clothes they wore that cause Xixa to pause: they both wore pale blue scrubs and lanyards with hospital IDs around their necks.
When her brain registered that – yes – they were Muriel and Julian, a more sincere smile crossed her lips as she approached them. “I didn’t recognize you two.”
“Is Asra here?” Muriel asked, his voice deep and gentle. Julian didn’t meet Xixa’s eyes as she turned curious eyes on him.
#the arcana game#thearcanagame#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak#julian x mc#mc apprentice#apprentice mc#muriel#my writing#fire & leeches
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Fire & Leeches - Chapter 9
Chapter 9: Promenade
Alt Chapter Title: I wrote a song for this fanfic IDK if it’s good but I TRIED
Story Summary: Modern!AU (with magic.) Xixa is… well, not really enjoying but not hating a night out with Asra at one of Vesuvia’s famed clubs. However, her curiosity and interest become piqued when a particular band takes the stage.
Chapter summary: Julian sings the song of his people the song he wrote for Xixa. In an alley. Guiding her through an informal waltz through garbage.
Ao3 Link
Cold awfulness sifted through Xixa’s thoughts. There was a string of rebelliousness in her synapses. Her reaction may have been a little… much, herself. However, her feelings on the matter were justified! Her lips twisted into an apologetic smile, but there was a challenging glint in her eye. “Then sing it to me now, Julian.”
The man drew back, wincing. “I sound like rubbish without back-up.”
“Then my opinion stands.” Xixa held her chin up high, shoulders relaxing. She ignored the pinch of guilt as he sullenly stared at her.
A pout pulled at his lips. Obviously, he didn’t like her presumed thoughts on his song. A tingle clawed over his body, anticipating Xixa’s eyes on him the whole time he sang. Hell, she stared up at him now, a little smirk on her lips, and he felt like he was liquefying.
“Fine,” he grumbled, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her around. “But I can’t do it if you’re giving me that look.”
“Look? What look?” Xixa laughed, but Julian ignored her words. His arms locked around her, one at draped around her waist and the other over her chest. The man pulled her close to him, into the shadows. Xixa leaned back into his chest, enjoying the hold.
Anxiety clasped around his throat. Giving Xixa a private audience to a song seemed so… intimate. He only sang with his band, especially since his last massive break-up. Julian shook that thought away. Nope, not going down that road.
The woman settled against him, soft and pliable. The heat against his face scrabbled all the way to his ears. Why did this feel so good? Xixa brought her hands to the arm crossed over her chest, fingers coiling over his arm. She gave him a comforting squeeze. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I was just teasing.”
Taking a deep breath, settling his nerves, Julian ignored her assurance. He couldn’t just hand her the lyrics, she should hear them. Maybe this was a better format. After clearing his throat, Julian began to sing, low and soft into Xixa’s hair:
“Faceless people pivot about,
an endless queue of empty sways.
Then you came, crystal-eyed
and grinning,
offering a flit around the way.
Pick your poison, you crooned,”
By this point, his wavering voice leveled out. His deep voice, coiling around the lyrics, sent gentle tremors of heat through Xixa’s body. He leaned down, lips nearly brushing Xixa’s ear. The witch resisted the urge to look at him, though his words tingled down her spine:
“Tango, waltz, two-step
This is the agony of the dance
The misery of the misstep
Your hand beckons, your lips entrance,
My hand’s in yours, What am I doing?”
Julian’s hands sought hers, threading his fingers through hers. The squeeze she gave him almost made him loose his place. Closing his eye, he focused on the upcoming lyrics:
“Your head falls to my chest, hearts
thrumming drumming
And you whisper,”
Suddenly, Julian spun Xixa around to face him. His eyebrows arched, a wicked smile curving across his face. The flushed, wide-eyed expression on the witch’s face incited him. Leaning down, lyrics teasing across Xixa’s lip, Julian sang:
“Pick your poison,
Tango, waltz, two-step
This is the agony of the dance
The misery of the misstep.”
Julian wrapped an arm around Xixa’s waist, pressing his other palm against her hand, fingers laced. Exciting electricity fingered through the witch, watching the way his mouth moved around the words. Her face burned, breath catching in her lungs.
He didn’t seem to notice, though. A bittersweet expression flitted into his eyes, his lips curling downward at the corners.
“I fumble, it stings.
I trip, it hurts.
But let’s keep going, let’s dance
until my legs ache, my feet bleed.
Let’s promenade until death frees me.”
That devilish smirk pressed across his lips as he led Xixa into an awkward, informal semi-waltz. The witch clumsily mirrored his steps, still finding it hard to breathe.
“Pick your poison,
Tango, waltz, two-step
This is the agony of the dance
The misery of the misstep
Let’s promenade until death frees me.”
Julian dipped down, lips nearly catching Xixa in a kiss. Her opalescent eyes wide, catching the light from a random light in the alley. Xixa’s gaze flickered to his mouth, watching his lips form around the last lyric:
“Let’s promenade until death frees me.”
He finished, voice trailing off to a murmur. Xixa remained in her frozen pose, just staring and hardly breathing. Julian’s ears burned with curiosity and embarrassment. She hadn’t said anything. She must have hated it. The dancing, possibly, was a bit “much,” as well. Worries clawed at Julian’s thoughts as the silence prolonged.
With her mind a whorl, Xixa was finding it hard to say something. Anything. But her mind was a ball of pink fluff and hormones. The song hadn’t been some stereotypical proclamation of eternal love or serenade. Inspired, in obvious lyrics, by their time together. Well, Xixa thought she could live with that.
A faint blush started to dust across her cheeks. Julian raised his eyebrows, finally noting the pink hue with muted amusement. Maybe it was the lighting or his imagination. Whatever it was, Julian felt a lick of delight, nonetheless. Perhaps, this speechlessness was a good thing.
Just as Xixa opened her mouth, words finally coming to her, Valerius’s annoyed voice cut through the moment, “Are you two seriously dancing in the garbage?”
The two turned as one, catching sight of the rest of the band. Portia, with cellphone drawn, snapped a picture of the two, grinning like a fool. Valerius had a bottle in hand, nose wrinkled in disgust. Behind the two, almost blending into the shadows, Muriel crossed his arms and sighed.
Mortification sliced across Julian’s face with a red splash.
“You can do better than this.” Valerius sneered, disgust cinching at his features as he took a swig from his beer. Though he had just been talking about dancing in the trash, Xixa had a definite feeling the man was looking at her. Previous embarrassment at their predicament morphed into red annoyance on her face.
Apparently, Xixa wasn’t the only one who caught the implication. Julian’s voice dipped down, into a dark and warning tone. “Valerius.”
“No, he’s right, Julian. You can do better.” The red-head pinned one wide eye to her, looking equal parts hurt and uncertain. She eased the expression away with a grin. With her arms sliding up, looping around Julian’s neck, Xixa half pulled herself up while tugging his head down toward her. She could sense surprise radiating from their little audience. Lips close to his, her eyes hooded, the witch purred, “Take me somewhere better, Julian. Like your place.”
If possible, Julian’s eye widened even further, red tearing across his face from ear to ear. Lewd elation caressed his body at the mere thought of Xixa returning home with him. The fact the two of them were being watched wasn’t helping the burn on his face.
His sister whooped, suggestively, while snapping further incriminating photos. Valerius groaned, after a beat of shocked silence, stalking back into the Rowdy Raven for another drink. In the shadows, it was hard to tell if that upturn to Muriel’s lips was a smile or a cringe.
“But, if you don’t want to take me ho-”
Xixa didn’t even get to finish her teasing sentence. Julian’s arms had found their way around her waist, pulling her closer. The surprise washed out of his features, leaving behind a wolfish grin. Though still flushed, some roguishness seemed to get a handhold in his thoughts. “No, no, Xixa. I’d love nothing more than to take you… to my place.”
The witch laughed, shaking her head, as Julian led her down the alley and toward the parking lot. Lined up with the multitude cars, his hearse sat silently waiting. She pulled closer to Julian, his arm looped through hers. Despite the excitement simmering in her veins, Xixa had one more thing to say. “I… overreacted. The song wasn’t what I thought it was. I enjoyed it, quite a bit.”
A thrill of glee shot through Julian, hearing those words. He couldn’t help teasing Xixa, though. Giving her a teasing smile, as they approached the hearse, he replied, “Happens to the best of us.”
Xixa could feel the warmth and tingling sensation of his delight, sliding off him in waves. But, of course, he chose to poke fun at her. She pursed her lips, giving the man a gentle elbow in his side as they finally made it to the vehicle. Julian opened the passenger side door for the witch, motioning for her to slide in. Before settling into her seat, Xixa couldn’t help biting out a retort. “I suppose you’d know all about being dramatic.”
The witch shut the door in his face as he pressed a hand to his chest in mock shock. Through the window, she could make out Julian mouthing the word ‘me?’ She nodded through the glass, before settling back into her seat. Her heart throbbed in her chest, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. With everything that came to light tonight – her memory loss, his occupation, and the Asra complication – she felt lighter.
As Julian settled into the driver seat, he glanced over to Xixa. “Where to?”
Though he still shuddered pleasantly at the thought of her coming home with him, their little rapport in front of the rest of the band may have been a ploy. Julian’s skepticism needed to be alleviated.
“You said you were taking me to your place.” She raised her eyebrows, wondering if Julian had changed his mind. No. That blush on his face and that glint in his eye signified wanting. An intense wanting that made her heart skip a little. He just wanted to be sure.
Julian cleared his throat, ears already burning, as he turned his attention to the steering wheel. “Okay, yes. Just checking.”
A gentle smile twisted across Xixa’s lips as Julian put the car in drive and started down the street. Her gaze flickered to her window, catching his profile in the reflection. A faint image of him in a doctor’s coat, a look of consternation flitted through her mind’s eye. She shook the image – fueled by premonition or imagination – away.
She just wanted to focus the playful heat that tickled her insides. And hope it led to something more pleasantly memorable – than a heavy discussion – for the night.
Judging from the white-knuckled grip Julian held on the steering wheel, he could use a bit of joviality, as well.
#thearcanagame#the arcana game#julian devorak#julian devorak x mc#julian devorak x fan apprentice#xixa#fire & leeches#fire and leeches#my writing
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Memories - Ch. 2 Confrontation
Chapter Summary: With memories returned to Xixa and Julian, pains arise. Unable to take the confusion around the doctor and the magician, Xixa takes off into the night. Meanwhile, Asra and Julian are left to a confrontation of their own.
Posted the previous chapter on Tumblr, but I’ve put this story on my Ao3. I figured it was an easier format. So, here’s a link for easier access!
When Xixa surfaced from her reverie, she felt like a drowning person finally breaking the surf. Her mind wobbled around her. Her fingers curled, clenching into soft fabric. Someone held her, repeated her name with concern as their hands held her up.
Her eyes turned upward, zeroing on the source of the noise. A grey eye stared down at her, a blur of black where another eye should be, a shock of red hair. Red hair like blood.
So much blood.
She shoved herself away from Julian, stumbling back. A hot driblet coasted down her cheek and she swiped it away, shocked to realize she was still crying. Her gaze swiveled from the doctor to the magician, heart pounding. She wanted to sound righteously angry, to boom like the heavens, but Xixa found her words coming out like a breathless, watery whimper. “You… You both cut into my brain?”
The expression that shot over Julian’s face painted a picture of horror and regret. His eye wide, his lips twisted into a condemned frown. His hand dug into his hair, his thumb inconspicuously rubbing at his temple. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Xixa. If I had known, I wouldn’t have…”
Whatever Julian wouldn’t have done died with that sentence. He couldn’t return his eyes to Xixa’s face. She whipped her gaze from him to his accomplice, seeking an answer.
Asra remained silent, his mask in place. The mask he used to distance himself from Xixa when she was too close to remembering; the mask he used to put her to sleep, before a scalpel bisected her brain. Of course, she wouldn’t get an answer from him. She never did. Hot anger flared in her chest, burning in her guts.
Xixa couldn’t breath… Or she was breathing too much. Her lungs ached and her chest heaved. Heat ate across her face as adrenaline and confusion licked at her thoughts. She felt like she was back in that operating room, her eyes swiveling to and fro. Her hands clenched into fists, relaxed, and tightened again. She backed out of the sigil, further from Julian and Asra. Her thoughts kept switching to and fro, gifting her with sharp images of the past each second she stared at them.
She needed to make sense of this, to untangle the thoughts and feelings knotted up inside her. Before she could even think of where to start, her feet were running. Xixa pounded out of the shop and into the night, tears blurring her vision while deception chased her through the night. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she had to get away.
“Xixa!” Julian yelled, head snapping up at the sound of the door opening. He jolted for the door, ready to pursue her. The white-haired magician darted in front of the doctor, though, barring his path. “Asra! Get out of the way!”
“Let her go,” Asra muttered, unable to look Julian in the eye. Oh, that look. That shadowy eyed, distant look. Julian despised it. So many nights, agonizing over that distressing sight.
“But she-”
“She’s hurting right now and needs space, Ilya!”
Julian froze. Ice formed in his veins as he turned a cold, grey gaze on Asra. How dare Asra call him that? After… everything? Julian’s clenched his hands, swallowing the urge to punch the magician. He had promised Xixa he’d be nice, tonight. He’d honor that, even if she wasn’t present. Yet, he couldn’t choke down the venom on his tongue. “You’d know about space, would you? Distance keeps you safe, but what about everyone else, Asra?”
The two of them glared at each other in the doorway of the shop. Electric hostility flashed between them. If a moth happened between them, surely it would burn to a crisp.
“You were always too clingy for your own good,” hissed Asra, grabbing Julian by the collar.
“Really? Now?” Julian nearly howled. A cocktail of feelings swarmed his head, pounding his thoughts with conflicting emotions. Maybe it was the revival of the memories, or maybe the feelings he had for Asra never entirely died, but hearing those words from the magician still sent a knife through his gut.
Grabbing Asra by the wrists, Julian easily peeled him from his collar and shoved him away. The doctor moved for the open door, intent on following after Xixa.
A sudden slam to his side sent Julian hurtling against the doorjamb. Asra huffed, eyebrows lowered as he glared, “Yeah, now.”
A small part of Julian didn’t want to do this. The small part that remembered Asra as a light among tedious days of research; the small part that remembered the way his heart fluttered whenever Asra teased or taunted him. However, that part was being drowned out by the pain of fresh-old memories, worry for Xixa, and Julian’s own self-hatred at his past, stupid self.
Julian’s knuckles landed solidly against Asra’s right cheek, sending the magician stumbling out the shop door. The next punch mirrored the first, knocking Asra further into the street. The candlelight from the shop wavered around the two figures, Asra dazedly bumbling and Julian stalking like a hellbent shadow. As Julian snatched Asra by his collar, holding his fist up for a third strike, something gripped at his arm.
The doctor glanced down, meeting a familiar reptilian sight. Faust coiled around his arm, head wobbling low near his elbow. It was as if she was pleading with him to stop. Julian paused, letting his rage-filled fog lift. Slowly, he lowered his fist. Something was wrong.
Asra was a ridiculously powerful sorcerer. He could take away memories. He probably had a slew of spells or hexes he could shoot at Julian. Yet, here he was, limp as a rag doll and not even putting up a fight.
What was he doing, then? Keeping Julian busy and away from Xixa by taking a beating? Maybe, a beating he felt he deserved? The very thoughts resonated in the doctor, on both contrary and kindred levels.
The doctor released Asra and the man fell to his knees, catching himself with one arm while cradling his familiar with the other.
“Remind me to write you a prescription,” Julian growled, while staring down at the heap of magician at his feet. Asra looked up at him, silent and curious as the doctor bent into a crouch. Blood seeped from Asra’s lip and a bruise marked his right cheek. Asra tensed as Julian slid gentle hands to either side of his head, one palm supporting the bruised cheek and the other slightly resting on his busted lip. Julian sneered as the mark on his throat glowed. Slowly, his own lip split and the purple of a bruise licked across his cheek. “For your fucking emotional constipation.”
A few moments later, Asra remained kneeling on the hard ground, staring after the dwindling form of the doctor. His violet eyes wide, unable to comprehend what had just transpired. His physical pain had left with Julian, but a different ache remained. As the doctor hurtled through the night, ready to face the metaphorical gallows for his past crimes against Xixa, Asra remained in the dirt. Alone.
Faust gave a tender squeeze, coiled up his arm. Her tongue flickered out against his neck, whispering against his skin. No, he wasn’t alone, but he was a step closer to losing someone he cared about…
Asra’s fingers dug into the stones beneath him. A pulse of pain shot through his heart and trembled down his arms, into his chest, to his stomach. The ache sunk into his bones. The thought of Xixa leaving – and who would blame her – after what she learned tore him up. Ironic, considering the many times he had left her. Tears dribbled from his eyes, plopping into the dusty road, as he hung his head. Sickness settled in his stomach like a rock; he didn’t deserve forgiveness, but he couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.
“Faust,” Asra whimpered, bringing the snake to his chest. She writhed against him, trying to comfort him. He hunched over the creature as the tears continued to pour out, “What am I going to do?”
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Memories - Chapter 6
Chapter 6: Been Thinking
Ao3 Link
Story Summary: After months of research, Asra and Xixa may have found a way to return lost memories! What happens when those memories bring pain, betrayal, and confusion for Asra, Julian, and Xixa, though?Eventual Julian x MC. Asra is here, too, but I’m not sure what to do with him, yet.
Chapter Summary: After the confrontation with Asra, wherein Xixa tells him to leave the shoppe, she seeks out Julian. At Mazelinka's, the two have a discussion on what to do.
As soon as she got dressed, Xixa made her way to Mazelinka’s home. She assumed Asra would lock up the shop when he left. If he didn’t… She sighed, thinking over the confrontation with him. It didn’t end the way she wanted it to. Xixa wanted answers, wanted closure from Asra, wanted to be able to move forward. How could she do that if he didn’t seem apologetic?
“Told Ilya not to fret about you,” Mazelinka opened the door before Xixa even had a chance to knock. “Boy was up all night, worrying himself to death, so I put him to work cleaning. My floors are going to be cleaner than the palace’s.”
The old woman cackled to herself as she motioned for Xixa to come inside. As Xixa entered, her eyes adjusting to the change in light, her gaze fell on Julian. He seemed intent on his work, scrubbing at the floor. A ragged kerchief was tied hastily around his head, keeping his hair from his face as he moved, and the arms of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows. He looked positively domestic.
Xixa watched him for a beat, a wry grin on her face. Finally, she had to ruin the scene. “You have dirt on your cheek.”
Julian started, jolting to his feet. His head smacked on the dirt ceiling, dirtying his face more. Flushing in embarrassment and frustration, the man stooped a little, rubbing ruefully at his head. “Mazelinka, you need a taller ceiling!”
“You need shorter legs, boy.” Mazelinka parried, swatting Julian with a rag. After making a comment about needing to check out the Market, the old woman left the hut.
As soon as the door shut behind Mazelinka, Xixa edged closer to Julian. She eyed him, up and down, seeing the old and new doctor at once. But, that didn’t change her desire to touch him, this time. The witch looped her arms around his middle, hugging him close.
Julian arched over her, his arms coiling around her body. Gentle hands stroked her back for a breath, simply enjoying her heat against him. However, things had to be said. “How are you feeling?”
“Not great,” Xixa murmured, cheek pressed against his chest. His chest hair scratched at her skin, sending pleasant prickles down her neck.
“What’s wrong?” He leaned back, trying to get a better look at her face.
With a heavy sigh, Xixa pushed away from Julian. For some reason, she wasn’t completely sure how the doctor was going to take her news. “I kicked Asra out of the shop.”
It took Julian’s brain a few seconds to process the information. Xixa shifted uneasily in the quiet. Still, a flat and flabbergasted grunt left his lips, “What.”
“Asra’s gone.” Xixa had to force the words out, a knot in her stomach tightening with each syllable. She threw Julian a tight smile, trying to alleviate the tangle in her tummy. “I thought you’d be clicking your heels with delight.”
“Well…” That would have been true before regaining their memories. But, something had reawakened in Julian. A fondness for Asra? Remembering the situation he and the magician were in during the plague research, before, in its entirety had clicked a few pieces into place. “What happened?”
“We talked about the operation. He kept saying things like ‘I did what I felt was best’ and ‘that’s all anyone can expect of me.’” Xixa could feel her ire rising as she repeated Asra’s words. Tension raked over her muscles. “It’s like he was going out of his way to not apologize.”
Julian’s mind was swirling with thoughts and digging up the revived memories, fighting off years of natural deterioration. At times, he followed Asra around like a puppy, wanting more and more attention. Back then, he didn’t recognize – or maybe didn’t want to see – the discomfort it caused the magician. There were a few instances where Asra just disappeared on their ‘dates.’ “I’m guessing you and Asra had some history before that day.”
Xixa glanced to the floor, before returning her gaze up to Julian. It was a bit shameful, looking back, but it was the truth. “…yes. He said he had a partner of sorts, but just needed a break sometimes.”
“I’ve been thinking, since I couldn’t sleep.” Julian sardonically motioned toward the clean home. “Asra and I weren’t the greatest. I lavished him with affection that he didn’t really want, while hoping for some small scrap back. I was so hungry for anything from him.” A pained expression crossed Julian’s face as the feelings washed over him, refreshed from the memories. He shook his head, clenching his hands on his knees. “But Asra did a lot of work to help you. I’m not sure what, of course, but he kept you close-”
“And kept erasing my memories.” Xixa interjected, bitterly.
“-to keep you safe.” Julian threw Xixa a mixed look, of understanding and exasperation with a cocked eyebrow. “He didn’t know his mistake until it was made. And then the problems just piled on one another.”
There was a beat of silence as Xixa mulled over his words. Julian tensed, waiting for her response. There were so many different directions this could go.
“Are you seriously making excuses for him?” Xixa snapped, crossing her arms, nails digging into her skin. Fire roused in her chest, she could barely believe she was hearing this lecture from Julian. Her head was beginning to pound with agitation.
“No,” sighed Julian. Suddenly, it seemed like the lack of sleep was catching up to him. “But I can understand wanting to save someone you love, no matter the cost. Asra probably realized all this would happen if your memories returned. Your anger, your resentment, your potential abandonment.”
Julian had mulled over these thoughts all night, while scrubbing dirt and grime from Mazelinka’s wood floors. Imagining Asra tormenting himself with thoughts like that, for years, was something Julian could relate to. “He wasn’t close with me, though he agreed to be with me. But you?”
He turned, catching Xixa’s opalescent gaze. His heart twinged with guilt, recalling last night’s water works. The tears, the pain. Residual aches still sliced through his chest and throbbed through his head. He had held the scalpel to her flesh, her skull, her brain. If he thought hard enough, he could remember the squish and the crack and the sensation of metal through grey matter. He couldn’t even imagine how much more painful everything would have been had he known Xixa before.
Yet, he would have done as the Count told him. Just as Asra had done. If only to save Xixa from Lucio’s retributive rage had they spared her the surgery.
Faintly, Julian wondered if Asra recalled how it felt to pierce magic into her skull, but he shook the treacherous memories away. Most likely, the white-haired magician did, and drowned in shame every time he looked at her. At least, that’s what Julian wanted to believe.
“There was no formal commitment between you two, but he stayed with you. He stayed, suffering with his own past memories of you, still trying to save you, while you grew and changed and… got involved with his former lover.” At this, Julian gave a wry smile. Xixa smacked him on the shoulder, which only broadened his grin. Shaking his head, Julian finished, “I think he loves you, dearly, and leaving is going to kill him.”
Silence descended on the pair. Xixa’s eyes trailed from Julian’s serious face to her feet. The doctor had good points. Deep in her heart, a mixed ache churned. Anger, frustration, and betrayal still hovered in her thoughts. However, a part of her – the part of her from before – thought of Asra fondly. That section of her mourned their possible parting. Heavily.
“What do you suggest I do, then?” Xixa’s arms tightened around herself, her gaze flicking to Julian. He stared at her, the dark circles under his eye deeper than yesterday. Sourly, she grumbled, “Abandon you and give him the flouncy happy ending he always dreamed of?”
“Well, now, I didn’t say that.” Julian’s lips twisted into a devilish grin. He leaned toward Xixa, putting his arms around her, “I’ve been playing with an idea, but I don’t know how welcome it’ll be.”
Xixa raised her eyebrows, curiosity piqued. An idea that may not be welcome? Knowing Julian it could be anything. Plus, who knew what eccentricities were revived with his memories? Leaning into his body, his heat eased her tensions. Closing her eyes as she pressed her head into his chest, Xixa sighed, “You��re full of those sorts of ideas, Julian. Let’s hear it.”
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