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rumaan · 7 years

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@meandheraresoulmates asked if I would write something about Yousef growing a beard. So here’s some fluffy married Yousana + Yousef with a beard!

Many thanks as always to the lovely @fallacyinwonderland who always has time to help me out with Turkish for a ship for a show she's never seen!

Sana pulled her suitcase through the door tiredly. She was exhausted after a week-long surgical conference in Stockholm that had been so full on she’d barely had any time to text Yousef, let alone talk to him.

However, she was home now and she could smell that he’d already started cooking and hear the faint sound of music coming from the kitchen.

Leaning her suitcase up against the wall, toeing her shoes off and rewinding her hijab, she smiled at how comforting it was to be back home.

“Yousefciğim?” Sana called out, walking down the hallway and stopping in the threshold of the kitchen as she saw Yousef stirring something on the cooker and hips swaying to the music on the radio. She never got bored of walking in on him dancing. He was always so carefree when he danced.

Coming up behind him, she wound her arms around his waist and tiptoed up so she could press a kiss onto the back of his neck.

“Hello,” she said.

Taking the pan off the heat, he turned round and said, “You’re home!”

Catching a glimpse of his face for the first time in a week, she leaned back and said, “I was gone for seven days and you started to grow a beard?”

Yousef rubbed his chin self-consciously and shrugged his shoulders a little. “Elias bet me that I couldn’t grow one and I was bored.”

“Bored?”

“I missed you,” he said with an adorable little pout.

“I missed you, too,” she said, smiling softly up at him before leaning up and kissing him.

Five days was a long time to go without kissing her stupidly cute husband and despite meaning to make the kiss short and sweet, passion sparked between them and she clutched at his shirt as he slid his tongue into her mouth and deepened the kiss. His hands threaded into her hair, tilting her head to give them a better angle and she gasped at the tickle of his stubble against cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling back.

“Your beard is tickly!” Sana exclaimed.

“Oh, do you want me to go and shave it now?”

“No!” she said quickly, causing him to raise an enquiring eyebrow. “I like it.”

And she did. He had always been clean shaven and the roughness of the stubble was a new sensation and she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like in other places.

A devilish gleam entered his eyes. “Oh, you do, do you?” Reaching out a hand behind him, Yousef turned off the cooker and said, “How do you feel about a late dinner tonight.”

Biting her lip, she gave him a sultry look and said, “We did have a late lunch at the conference and I haven’t had much time to work up an appetite.”

Pulling her in even closer to him, Yousef bent his head and sucked slow, tender kisses onto her neck. She shivered at the bristly feel of his beard that contrasted so well to the soft velvet of his lips.

“Hmm,” he murmured in her ear. “I guess we’ll have to do something about that.”

-----------

The next day at the hospital, Isak heaved a massive sigh of relief when he saw her. “Oh thank God,” he said. “This past week has been hell.”

“Why?”

“The rest of your surgical team are a bunch of morons, Sana! How could you leave me alone to deal with them?”

“Because I had to go the conference. I wasn’t exactly given a choice.”

Which was true, if Sana had had her way then one of the other surgical juniors would have gone. It had been the longest she and Yousef had been apart since they’d married and she’d missed him too much. However, she couldn’t help but smirk a little as she relived the previous night. At least their reunion had been worth it.

“What’s that on your jaw?” Isak asked, squinting at her face.

Raising a self-conscious hand, she wondered if she had somehow left home with food on her face. Then her fingers met the slightly bumpy skin and colour rushed into her face as she realised just what Isak had noticed. She had several little marks like it scattered all over her body. Apparently, beard burn was a very real thing.

“It’s nothing,” she said a little too quickly.

“Is it a rash?” Isak asked concerned and leaning forward to see it better. “Do you want me to examine it to see if you need some cream?”

“No!” she exclaimed, embarrassed.

Then a delighted expression came over her friend’s face. “Oh my God! Is that what I think it is?!?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Didn’t Yousef grow a beard whilst you were away? I’m pretty sure Even told me something about a stupid bet he and Elias made about it.”

Sana glared fiercely at him as if daring him to continue with his conversation. The problem with Isak, however, was that he’d known her too long and somewhere along the way she had lost the ability to intimidate him with just a look.

“Ha! Wait until I tell Even.”

“Open your mouth and I will kill you,” she practically growled at him in her discomfort. “I still have those pictures from the hospital Christmas party and I will use them if necessary.”

“You wouldn’t,” he said.

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I take it you like the beard then,” Isak asked.

“Shut up!”

He laughed before taking pity on her. “Come on, let’s grab a coffee and I’ll update you on the various disasters that befell me because you left me alone.”

They walked in silence for a moment towards the break room where the coffee machine was housed. Sana trying to figure out if the slight mark was too noticeable and she needed to add more concealer.

“Is it really bad?” she caved and asked. “Is everyone going to notice it?”

“No,” Isak said. “It just caught the light weird and I spotted it.”

“I’m going to try and cover it up more,” she said, stopping at the door of the staff bathrooms. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Smirking but blessedly keeping his mouth shut for once, Isak saluted her and left to get them both a coffee. Walking into the bathroom, Sana peered at the tiny red mark in the mirror and pulled her concealer out of her bag ready to dab more on her skin.

Stupid beard!

#yousana #sana x yousef #sana bakkoush #yousef acar #skam

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stressedoutteenager · 7 years

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Warrior

This is based on an Italian song (Guerriero by Marco Mengoni) sent to me by @meandheraresoulmates . Here’s the song (x), here’s the translation (x).

Fair warning: this deals with bullying and I hope I dealt with it okay, if not please tell me.

The idea of starting middle school was really exciting to Sana.

The idea of meeting new people, making new friends, getting to learn more about anything and everything.

The idea of being a new person, even if it's just the change of going from primary to secondary school.

Everyone around her knew how excited she was.

Her parents, her siblings, Jamilla, her neighbours and even her brother's best friend that kept coming around the house a lot.

When Sana came home from school on the second day, she tried to hide how she feels. She's not a child anymore, she thought, she shouldn't be so upset about stupid comments.

Somehow, she managed to walk past her parents, past her siblings, past everyone without anyone suspecting how bad she really feels.

A cheery: "I ate with friends", as the excuse to not have to face anyone for the rest of the day worked and Sana ended up sitting alone in her room, in her bed, with the blanket drawn up to her chin. Like a shield.

How did all her plans for middle school vanish in just two days?

Why are people so awful? Just because Sana looks different from them. Knowingly, proudly.

One of the things Sana looked forward to most starting middle school was wearing the hijab.

The only thought that keeps her from crying that day, sitting in her darkening room, after the second day of middle school, is the pride she takes in what she chooses to wear.

That first though week was not the only one.

It kept going. The people in her class, in her grade kept making Sana feel horrible. No amount of pep-talking yourself, no amount of trying to see the bright side of all things helped.

Acting like everything is fine got harder.

"How was school?", became the dreaded question.

Sana didn't want to lie. However, she also didn't want her family to worry.

She's not a child anymore, she can handle it on her own, Sana thought. She didn't want to look weak.

As acting like everything's alright got harder, Sana's facade started to crumble.

One time, at the dinner table, Sana zones out. She doesn't hear a thing her family is talking about. Is it selfish to say that she doesn't care? Can what they're talking about make the permanent lump in Sana's throat, the sinking feeling in her stomach go away? Is anything they're saying going to make the situation Sana is in better?

Sana knows that she doesn't have the right to think this. She didn't ask for help so she can't expect them to know.

"Sana.", someone at the table calls out her name a little loudly and makes her jump.

All eyes on her, her parents', an uncle's, her brothers' and two of their friends'.

When Sana hears her name being called out like that all she can think of is that girl on the schoolyard, looking to catch Sana when she's alone to say such mean things that Sana couldn't have thought of if she tried.

Sana smiles and shrugs it off. Pretending all is good is easier than telling them what’s really happening in her life.

That evening, after dinner, Sana is left alone in the kitchen when everyone hurries of to do their own thing and she really doesn't have anywhere to go, she doesn't have friends to rush to.

"Hi.", she hears coming from the kitchen door.

Looking up from her phone she only has been staring at mindlessly, Sana sees her brother's best friend, Yousef.

Sana smiles lightly and looks down at her phone again. Yousef is at her house a lot. Since Elias met him in primary school those two are inseparable. Sometimes she sees Yousef more often that her eldest brother.

A few seconds pass and all Sana hears is the fridge opening and closing and just when she thinks Yousef left, she hears him start talking again.

"Hey, do you want to watch a movie with us?", Yousef asks Sana, shyly looking from his glass of juice to her and back to his juice. Then he lifts his eyes to her again and continues: "We can't decide what to watch, you can be the deciding vote."

Sana raises her eyebrows in surprise. He sounds genuinely interested in Sana watching a movie with them. He waits for an answer, silently, letting her think. Only when she nods he starts smiling and they go to the living room together.

Time goes by, Sana has better days, and worse days.

Her brother Elias starts going to Elvebakken and him and Yousef meet a bunch of other guys and become really close. How does Sana know? They're always at her house.

At first it bothered her. Not the boys. But that they were there all the time. Reminding her that she doesn't have an amazing friend group like his brother has.

It only bothers her for a short amount of time. One time, Yousef asks is she wants to play soccer with them. She does. And after that she gets invited to hang out with them all the time. They distract Sana from anything else that is going on, which they have no idea of.

Still, after a day of hanging out, usually one of them stays longer and sometimes sleeps over. Yousef.

When Sana wakes up, it's around 2 am. She's sweating and her heart is racing. Panicking, she looks around herself and is relieved when she sees the familiar blue walls of her room and not the schoolyard. Her chest is rising and falling quickly, her throat is dry and her eyes burn. Gulping and then trying to take deep breaths, Sana throws the blanket off of her and goes to open her window.

The fresh air helps a little but she can't go back to sleep. She might have the same dream, nightmare. It's not far from the reality, which makes it even scarier.

It's unfair, Sana thinks. It's unfair that she's not even really safe from the stuff that happens in school when she's sleeping. Sana rubs her eyes, grabs a headscarf to throw over her hair and leaves her room. She needs something to drink, she needs to do something to get over that nightmare.

She's been living here her whole life, she doesn't need to turn on the lights to get to the kitchen.

What surprises her is that there's someone in the kitchen.

Sana squints her eyes, trying to get used to the bright light. Her room was dark and so was the hallway.

It's Yousef who’s sitting at the kitchen table, his phone in his hand. Sana almost forgot that he’s sleeping over at her house. But only almost. Subconsciously she had grabbed a headscarf to cover her hair before leaving her room.

Yousef hears Sana come into the room and lifts his eyes to meet her. She's in pyjamas, looks a little grumpy and her eyes are puffy.

A sharp feeling goes through his chest but all he does is smile at his best friend's little sister and say Hi.

"Hey. Is everything okay?", Sana answers, a worry line forming between her eyebrows.

Yousef nods. "All good. Just couldn't sleep.", then Yousef asks her what he's been asked: "Is everything okay?"

Now Sana nods, not looking at her brother's best friend. She goes to grab a drink and asks if he wants anything. Yousef doesn't push. He doesn't mention that the reason why he really is in the kitchen is her. That he heard her cry out in her sleep. Elias' room is right next to hers. Yousef didn't think about it. He just left his best friend's room and went into the kitchen. Maybe subconsciously hoping that Sana would go there so he can see if she's okay.

Elias has been noticing that his sister seems to not be as fine as she always says she is. So did his parents. And Yousef, who's almost living here, did too.

So it's comical to him that she's asking him if everything is okay. He wants to ask if there's something he can help with but he doesn't want to intrude. Sana and Yousef have become some sort of friends over the past years but how deep that friendship is.. he doesn't know.

"Can't sleep?", Yousef asks in a low voice. It's so low that Sana could have pretended not to have heard it if she didn't want to talk.

But she doesn't. "Didn't dream well."

"Nightmare?", Yousef asks, only to realize that it is a stupid question.

Sana moves a little and settles standing behind the chair across from Yousef's. She nods.

Yousef sees the puffy eyes, he sees the small smile that doesn't reach her eyes, he sees the sunken in cheeks. And he decides not to question her more. It won't help.

Instead he sits up a little bit more straight and smiles. "Want to know what I dreamt last night?"

A distraction is all Sana wanted when she left her room. She didn't think Yousef would be the source of that but she really can't complain. His weird but funny story about his last dream makes Sana completely forget about her own dream.

First she laughs at the absurdity of his dream.

Then they proceed to try and analyse it.

"Please don't go all Freud on me.", Yousef says laughingly, looking at Sana with wide eyes, his hair messily falling on his forehead.

"I would never. Not Freud.", Sana answers with a matching laugh.

I'll defend you from nightmares and sadness

For some time school is fine. Sana finds support in Jamilla who she made promise not to tell her family what was going on because all of it would pass soon enough. It did. For a short period of time. It was like the bullying never happened. Well, on the bullies' side. They didn't torment Sana anymore, they just acted like she's not there, like she's invisible. And that was fine with Sana.

Until one day, this boy hit on her. Really disgustingly. Sana, who didn't know what to do except for saying no, did exactly that. She said No. She wasn't interested and he was disrespectful.

Going home that day Sana didn't expect anything to happen about that. She has seen boys losing it when girls rejected them more than once.

Well, she thought wrong.

It was almost as if they knew when Sana would step into her house. As if it was perfectly planned.

The second Sana steps into the house and closes the door behind her, her phone starts ringing. Countless messages. Very confused as to why she's receiving so many messages, Sana takes her phone, reads the first one, the next one, the one after that and lets her phone fall.

Tears spring into her eyes, her hands shake tremendously and Sana feels like she can't breathe. She really can't. When the tears start rolling down her cheeks she falls back onto the door and tries to breathe in and out.

She thought it's over.

She thought the only thing to worry about now was not having friends. She thought she could solve that problem in 10th grade. She thought she didn't have to hear hateful comments like that anymore.

"Sana? Is that you?", someone calls. But Sana doesn't hear that. She shuts her eyes, trying to convince herself that this is just a dream, just a nightmare, but it doesn't work.

"Oh my god, Sana. What happened?", the voice is nearer now and makes Sana open her eyes.

Her brother stands in the hallway and looks at his little sister with worry and concern in his eyes. When Sana sees Elias, she can't hold it together anymore. Her knees give out, the tears start coming faster and breathing is impossible.

Elias, never really having seen his sister like this, runs over to her and hugs her tightly, trying to make her stand. When she doesn't budge, he sits down next to her, trying to help somehow. Trying to do something that helps his sister. Knowing what was the reason for this would have been helpful be he has no idea.

"Sana, hey. It's all going to be fine. I'm right here. You're safe here, we're home.", Elias whispers. He tries to sound calming even when he is freaking out for his sister.

"Dude, we need to leave now. What are you doing...", another voice is heard.

Sana has her face buried in her older brothers’ chest, trembling with sobs. Elias holds her closely, as if this will help her. Elias' head snaps up and he sees his friends come out of the living room. All of them stop abruptly, confused about what's happening. Elias shakes his head at them and Yousef immediately understands.

His stomach sinks, seeing and hearing Sana cry like that. But the important thing is to leave her be with her brother. So Yousef quickly turns around, making the boys go back to the living room. Closing the door behind him, Yousef ignores the boys' questions and just leans on the door for a moment.

What made Sana feel so horrible? And how will she feel better, how can he help?

The same evening Elias found out what was happening and he was ready to face every single one of the people that had sent his sister those awful messages. He read them. His parents did too.

While the parents tried to comfort Sana by promising that all that would be over now, that the school would be notified and those people's parents, Elias was ready to just go and find all those people. He didn't know what he would do, probably shout a lot.

Had it not been for Yousef Elias probably might have gotten himself into trouble the following days. While being there for Sana and distracting her, Elias was so mad and whenever he thought of those messages and what Sana probably had endured during school he wanted to just get up and leave and confront those kids. At one point he got close.

Sitting in the living room with Yousef and Mikael, Elias keeps looking at the door. His day at school ended earlier than Sana's. But she should have arrived home ten minutes ago. What if something happened? Sure, they talked to the school staff and somewhat cleared the situation but kids can be horrible.

"Okay, I'm going. Stay here or go home, I don't really care.", Elias says, as he shoots up from his seat on the sofa.

Mikael and Yousef turn their heads away from the TV and look at him questioningly. Mikael asks where he's going.

Throwing his hands in the air, Elias answers quickly, already going to the door to put on his shoes. "Sana's school. I need to check if she's fine. And conveniently I might meet some of those people."

Yousef is by his best friend's side in a matter of seconds and blocks his way to the door. "Elias, don't. Sana wouldn't want you to. And you have a cell phone. Call her instead."

Elias starts shaking his head but Yousef doesn't take a No as an answer. From what he has seen in the past couple of days is that Sana hates talking about all of that. She wouldn't want Elias to make a scene.

Yousef walks up to the door of the Bakkoush house to study with Elias just as Sana storms out of the house. She is too mad, too angry to look where she is going and Yousef is staring at his phone, as always.

No wonder that they crash into each other.

"Sorry.", Yousef quickly says, to only then notice that it's Sana he walked into.

Sana just stops for a short moment, and starts walking again.

"Hey, wait. Sana!", Yousef calls after her and she stops.

When she turns around slowly, Yousef sees the smudged make up around her eyes and the distressed look on her face.

"Are you okay? What happened?", Yousef takes a slow step towards her, while Sana just looks at him for a moment and shakes her head so subtly that it's almost unnoticeable.

Looking at her, then back at the house behind him, Yousef nods to himself. He can imagine what this is about. Her parents and siblings just want to help Sana but maybe they don't do it the right way or Sana is not ready to talk about it. Well, they've been getting into fights a few times lately.

"Where are you going?", Yousef asks. Maybe he's overstepping but it's Elias' sister and Yousef and Sana have become friends over time too.

Shrugging, Sana answers: "Don't know."

Hesitating for a second, Yousef takes a tiny step towards her. Sana's eyes follow that movement but she doesn't move away.

"Want me to come with you?" Being alone when you're angry and sad is usually not the best thing, Yousef thinks. She can just say no if she doesn't want that, if she wants to be alone. And that'll be fine. It's her call. Yousef just wants to be able to help in a way, if she lets him.

Slowly, Sana nods. They fall into step next to each other. Yousef looks over to her, seeing her lips pressed together and eyebrows furrowed, staring on the sidewalk.

"I'm not coming. Walked into Sana when she was leaving the house. I'm with her, don't worry.", Yousef sends the message to Elias and puts his phone away.

For the rest of the afternoon they walk around aimlessly, anywhere Sana feels like going.

I'll stay by your side as long as you want me to - I'll provide you shelter during the storms

Sana's first year at Nissen brings a lot of change for her. She loves it.

Meeting an awesome friend in German class, being introduced to other cool girls and finally being a part of a friend group that she's not just adopted into because it's her brother and his friends. Or her eldest brother's girlfriend.

Trying to be more social, do more outside of the house, and developing a crush on someone. Almost all of those are good changes.

Things are better, Sana feels happier.

Especially when the boy she has a crush on and Sana hang out more, usually with his friends with them. But they'd mostly end up in a conversation just the two of them and forget that the others are even there.

And now, in Sana's second year at Nissen, he texts her while she has a break during school and is sitting on the schoolyard with her friends.

Yousef: Hey :)

Any plans for today?

Sana: I get off school in two hours. After that not much

You?

Yousef: Want to hang out?

Sana: With the boys?

Yousef: I thought just the two of us

if you're up to it

Sana: sure, I'll text you later

At the end of that conversations both of them are staring at their phones with the widest grins on their faces. Yousef has no idea that Sana freaked out when he asked to hang out and that her friends noticed and helped her text back. Sana has no idea that Yousef almost chickened out of asking because he wasn't sure if she'd agree and that his friends gave him a pep-talk. Even Sana's brother contributed a little.

He's waiting outside of the school.

Sana doesn't see Yousef at first, but when she does, she stops walking. Somehow it didn't fully sink in that she'd be hanging out with him, alone, now. Vilde and Chris agreed that this is a date but Sana is not so sure. Either way, she's happy to see him.

Smiling nervously, Yousef greets Sana as she stops to stand in front of him.

"Hi.", they say at the same time and laugh shortly.

"So what's the plan?", Sana asks, almost failing to play it cool. She's nervous, but in a good way.

Yousef puts his hands into the pockets of his coat and shrugs. "What do you want to do?"

Oh, it had seemed to Sana that he would have something in mind but it's okay that he doesn't. So she thinks for a moment and opens her mouth to answer but Yousef chuckles lightly.

Raising her eyebrows, Sana looks at him confused. Even though she doesn't know why he laughed she feels like laughing with him.

"I'm kidding. Of course I planned something. Come on."

They don't walk long until they arrive at a small café Sana has never been to. On the short walk from the school to here, Yousef told Sana about a little girl from the kindergarten he works in that proposed to him today. At the end of the story Sana's face hurt from so much smiling. He always has something funny to tell her and she loves it.

Almost as soon as they sit down a waitress comes up to the table. Putting her bag away and her phone on the table, Sana looks up to her and immediately freezes.

She'd recognize this girl everywhere. And not because she has such fond memories of her.

"Can I already bring you something to drink?", the girl asks and looks from Yousef to Sana.

When her eyes land on Sana, it can be seen in her eyes that she recognizes her. Her face falls for a second but she conceals it quickly. As if she has the right to look like this. She was not the one being bullied. She was the biggest bully.

Yousef looks at Sana to ask if she knows what she wants to drink already but he stops when he sees her facial expression. Sana looks at the waitress, frozen and her lips parted slightly in shock.

"Should I come back later?", the waitress asks.

That's when Sana snaps. That girl is smiling at her as if nothing ever happened. While Sana gets flashbacks of all the times she was left to do any task in school on her own, how she was called after with ugly words, how she dreaded to get up and go to school every day. Partly because of the girl standing next to the table now.

"Sorry.", Sana says quickly, in a rush, with a short and apologetic look towards Yousef.

Sana leaves the table and Yousef follows her with his eyes as she runs out of the café, leaving all her stuff. He doesn't know what just happened. Looking for that waitress for answers doesn't give him any answers because she just shrugs and turns around to go to another table.

Yousef gets up and runs after Sana. He gets outside and looks around frantically, his heart beating too fast. Not knowing what just happened makes him worry even more.

He finds Sana leaning on the wall of the building, wringing her hands together and closing her eyes. She seems to count.

Getting closer, Yousef doesn't want to scare her so he announces that he's there quietly: "Sana?"

She opens her eyes and looks at him. Seeing him so worried makes her feel even worse. They walk towards each other and meet in the middle.

"I'm sorry.", Sana says, not looking at Yousef but at the ground. She's not proud of just storming out there. But it's still hard to properly breathe. She didn't think she'd be faced with this today. She didn't think she'd remember anything that happened in middle school especially now.

Yousef notices that her hands are shaking and everything about this remind him of a couple of years ago. Taking a slow step towards her, he answers her.

"Don't worry. Are you okay?"

That question, the caring tone in which Yousef asks her, makes Sana look up and answer honestly. She shakes her head, biting her lip but not being able to hold it in.

"She's one of them. From middle school.", Sana whispers.

Yousef furrows his eyebrows in worry and now understands her reaction. Taking another step towards her, giving her time to back away, he goes to hug her.

Sometimes a hug helps more than words can.

Sana wraps her arms around his torso and leans her head on his shoulder. She tries to concentrate on her breathing, counting to ten and back to one. Like she was told to. But she feels safe in his arms. He holds her close, rubbing her back slightly, hoping that he doesn't make anything worse.

"Sana, you're safe. You're in a better place now, no thanks to them but because you're the strongest girl I know."

Sana feels so safe that she doesn't even notice that a few tears escaped her eyes until they part from the hug.

"Sorry about that...", Sana points at his shoulder that has a tiny bit of black make up on it.

Yousef looks at it as best as he can and chuckles. "Hey, it's fine. My coat will gladly wipe away those tears but just one thing: they don't deserve your tears."

Sana nods, smiling at Yousef and taking a deep breath. How is he like this? She's so lucky to have him as a friend and maybe as more than that.

Holding out his hand to her to take if she wants to, Yousef says: "Okay, now let's get our stuff from inside and go eat somewhere else."

He grins at Sana who takes his hand and intertwines their fingers, getting goose bumps at the warm feeling that spreads in her chest.

"Let's do that."

And I'll hug you to give strength, always - Don't fear anything I'll be by your side; with my coat I'll wipe away your tears

additional lyrics I really enjoyed: - I'll give you certainties against fears to see the world beyond those heights - And my love, my big love,believe me we'll win against everyone and we'll remain standing - Don't fear the dragon, I'll stop its fire. Nothing can hurt you behind my shield - I'll fiercly fight against all evil, and if I fall don't despair, For you I'll stand up again

#this got so long #but I love this song #thanks for showing it to me #and I hope you liked this #sana bakkoush #yousef acar #yousana #yousana fic #skam fic #elias bakkoush

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 2 years

Note

good day sweet Candy, I stumbled upon this sokt koo pic (lmao) on twitter and I immediately thought of Jungkook in iicngyp, sitting every morning in front of our brave oc, acting like her presence (and her scent) don't affect him 👀

https://twitter.com/jksdgie/status/1488440858894610439?t=DvilkwyRiZMh4Rg_irkbYQ&s=19

Okay, this is just PERFECT. It works so well with iicngyp!Jungkook that I feel a little in love with that picture 💜

The funny part about this is that at this point he should realize that OC is just never going to pick up on subtle things. He kissed her and she immediately went "oh wow he was trying to manipulate me how fucked up" so clearly he can't do much that she'll notice. But will he still bottle everything up and try to hide it? You bet he will lol.

Thank you so much for sending me this I love it 💜

#meandheraresoulmates #asks #iicngyp: jk

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 2 years

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https://twitter.com/MarzRM/status/1483931430111559688?t=jqLPFRPZwHKtaedCw2s9ww&s=19

Hi! I hope this message finds you well, I just wanted to let you know that I saw this beautiful fan art on twitter and my mind has immediately thought of Jungkook of If I can never give you peace :] I don't why it makes me think of the last chapter? even if obviously in chap 8 there is no blood involved lmao

hope you have a nice day, bye 🤍

Omg this is so cool! Thank you for sending it my way 🥰

I'm happy it made you think of iicngyp! And, well, except for the blood it's not that far off from what Jungkook would have been wearing for the last scene of the last chapter so I definitely get it ^-^ And it's also close to what he can look like after a fight at The Circle! Plus he has kind of a soft expression and it makes me think that he could look like that after some of the first fights in particular...

Thank you for the sweet message, I hope you have a nice day too 💜

#asks #meandheraresoulmates #iicngyp

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 3 years

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oh my god, I think words fail me in expressing just how much I enjoyed last update of iicngyp!! it's so well written: the tension from the explosion of that building is palpable in every line, oc is slowly but surely opening up to the reader and herself and that gives her even more depth, Jungkook has started to lose that facade of hatred towards her and is finally catching a glimpse of the soft spot she has always had for him, it's so good!!

That's way why his reaction at her anger after the kiss is even more painful 😭😭 I pictured Jungkook expression fall like this scene in the soop, only sadder and more confused

I think that even if a part of him kissed oc just to elicit a reaction from her I want to believe that he was mostly moved from the relief that at least she cared about him, that explains the smirk for me. But oc reaction is totally justified in my opinion! Since they don't talk about the past and it's so frustrating gosh sometimes I want to bang their head together and scream TALK LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEING YOU MORONS she has every right to think that the kiss was just another move of Jungkook to get on her nerves and make her lose control and get rid of her. Nevertheless, reading Jungkook reaction was so sad and heartbreaking, considering also how vulnerable he was while they were talking about his scars and how he was starting to believe that maybe she cared about him :(

I just hope oc doesn't do something that could deteriorate even more the thin relationship they are creating, even if the last line of the chapter makes me think otherwise.

There are a lot more thing I would like to say but I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll end it here. Thank you for writing such a beautiful and complex story with beautiful and complex characters that I can't wait to delve into! Love you Candy xx

Ah, super glad you enjoyed that chapter!! I was SO worried when I posted it and it makes me really happy that you liked it that much 😁

Oh my God that in the soop gif 😭 But you know, the really sad thing about that part is that his reaction is mostly him going ‘fuck, she didn’t want that’. Like the main thing he’s thinking about in that moment is that he hurt her, emotionally I mean. Well he’s not thinking it in those terms because he wouldn't verbalize it, but that's essentially it.

LOL I totally get your frustration at them not talking!! It drives me insane when that happens in stories as well, so in this case, I justify myself by thinking that, well, they’re not normal people, and also there’s so much pain and guilt surrounding their past that it’s really really difficult to bring up without stirring all of it up. Even if they talked they'd have a really hard time hearing each other out... Until they understand how the other works a little better, at least. Which we're getting at, slowly but surely!

Welllll, no spoilers, but I can say that OC wouldn't do anything that could jeopardize her position in the organization!

Thank you so so much!! I can't express how nice it is to read your thoughts on the story and how happy it makes me 😊

#asks #meandheraresoulmates #iicngyp

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candlewaxandp0lar0ids · 3 years

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hi! I've been reading yours stories since December 2020 but only now I found you and your blog and I'm so happy I did because finally I can tell you how much I love your fics and your writing🤍🤍 For the first time (what's past is past) is sitting in my olympus of Favorite Fics Ever™️ since then and If I can never give you peace is slowly making its way towards this eden of stories. Which is very peculiar because before you I absolutely despised mafia aus and I didn't read abo, but this story is the only exception. I love the slow burn, the characterisation of OC and Jungkook, the fact that OC is not the typical y/n without personality, the world building, everything! I'm looking forward the next chapters with so much trepidation 🥺 if you don't mind, can i ask if you're almost done with writing the 7th chapters? I can feel that something is slowly changing in the way oc sees Jungkook (at least subconsciously) and I hope Jungkook, after their talk when she brought him home and the fire, will slowly understand that she isn't the heartless b*†ch he think she is. Sorry for this long ass rant and for disturbing you, have a nice day 🥺

Oh gosh this ask hit me straight in the heart aaahhhh 😭😭 I’m so hapy you liked For the first time this much! It was the first thing I’d written after such a long time as well as the longest one-shot I’d produced. It took a lot of late night writing sessions and... It was just a really good writing experience.

I’m glad you’re enjoying iicngyp despite the genres! I’m also not usually big on mafia AUs so maybe that helps lol. There won’t be any abo elements in that story though! I do kinda want to write a sub!alpha!Jungkook x dom!omega!reader at some point but that’s another story for another day But if you’re talking about hybrid stories, I also definitely get why they’re not everyone’s cup of tea and I’m all the more happy that you like iicngyp! And aaah, it always makes me a little emotional when people say they enjoy OC 🥺 Because I worried she’d be unlikeable when I started writing the story it just always warms my heart. I hope you’ll enjoy the evolution of her and Jungkook’s relationship for the rest of the story! 😁

Please don’t apologize!! These kind of messages always make me so, so happy to read! I always take a long time to answer them but they’re honestly one of the best parts about writing these stories. Like seriously, they’re so motivating and they’re one of the things that help keep me writing and I cannot be thankful enough for them 💜

New chapter out later today!

#asks #meandheraresoulmates

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rumaan · 7 years

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A stupid amount of time ago @meandheraresoulmates requested a follow up fic to Sweetest Love where Sana and Yousef are making out at a party and scandalise Vilde. I FINALLY got round to writing it (sorry it’s taken so long!). Also, I know a lot of you were looking for a more mature follow up to Sweetest Love which I couldn’t quite work into this but I do plan on writing something more mature featuring married Yousana so look out for that!

Also on AO3

Once Sana started kissing Yousef then she couldn't stop. Now she knew just how soft and inviting his lips were, how drugging his kisses were and how they turned her limbs into treacle, there was no way she could actually resist the temptation to kiss him.

Which was why that Friday an hour into the party being held at the Kollektiv she refused to keep her hands off her very handsome husband any longer. She didn’t care that they were at a party with all their friends, she wanted – no needed – to kiss him right now.

Snagging his arm as he came out of the kitchen, with glass of water in his hand and laughing at something Even was saying to him, Sana grabbed the water off him, placed it on a convenient nearby table, took advantage of his shock at her waylaying him to push him up against the wall. Running her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, she snagged them into his hair, tugged him down and moulded her mouth fervently to his.

The sensation of his mouth against hers had her losing all sense of where she was. Running her tongue along the seam of his lips, she dipped in when he opened, enjoying the sensation of his tongue moving against hers. She could never grow tired of this, of how warm and addicting his kisses were and how hot and shivery they made her feel.

Moving one of his hands that had been resting on her hip, Yousef snaked his arm around her waist, bringing her even closer to him so they were pressed up so closely she could feel the buckle of his belt pressing into her stomach. His other hand tangled into the fabric of her scarf as he took control of their kisses, moving his lips passionately against hers as his tongue slid into her mouth and her knees threatened to give out.

“Oh!”

The exclamation broke through the cloud of lust that had taken hold of Sana’s brain and she pulled back a little so a millimetre of space existed between their mouths. Opening her eyes, she saw that Yousef had done the same.

“It’s Vilde,” he murmured. Their lips were so close to each other that they brushed together with his words.

With a small groan, Sana extracted herself out of Yousef’s arms and turned to her friend.

“Everything okay, Vilde?”

“Er…yeah,” her friend said, shock clearly written on her face. “Even said you were out here although he didn’t say you were busy and I wanted to ask you…” Vilde tailed off obviously distracted by them before she blurted out, “I’m sorry, but are you meant to be kissing Yousef? Isn’t that like against your religion or something?”

With an eyebrow raised in amusement, Sana said, “He’s my husband. Pretty sure I’m allowed to kiss my husband.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Vilde said with a little laugh that still showed how confused she was. “I just wasn’t sure, you know, and this is so public.”

“You were practically eating Karolina earlier on the sofa.”

“You’re right…I just wasn’t sure if you should be doing that here,” Vilde said hesitantly almost as if she realised that she was digging herself into a hole.

“Was there anything you needed?” Sana asked, taking pity on her sometimes ignorant friend but mainly on herself.

“No, it’s okay. It can wait until Monday.”

“Okay. Talk later,” Sana said not waiting for Vilde to disappear back into the living room, but spinning back around in Yousef’s arms and pressing her lips back against his.

However, the urgency between them had dissipated with Vilde’s interruption. Plus she missed Yousef being able to slide his hand inside her shirt or thread his fingers into her hair. Kissing him at a party was nowhere near as much fun as kissing him in private.

“Has she gone?” Sana asked against his mouth.

“Yeah, but I think we scandalised her,” Yousef said with a laugh.

Sana rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe she was so shocked by us kissing. She’s been giving me intimate details of her sex life ever since she lost her virginity.”

“Ah yes, but a piece of cloth on your head means that you aren’t meant to get sexual ever. Even with your husband.”

“Ugh,” Sana said in a frustrated tone.

Sadly, Yousef was right. Innocently making out with her husband should not have been anything shocking but it was purely because she was a hijabi. Vilde had made so much progress in gaining a filter and not just spewing out random ignorant comments regarding Sana and her religion, but every once in a while she slipped and this had been one of those moments.

Yousef’s phone pinged and Sana grabbed it out his back pocket for him.

“Thanks,” he said before adding, “It’s probably time for us to quit kissing anyway. Elias is downstairs.”

Ever since that first day in her house when Elias had walked in on them on the sofa, her brother had been adamant that no displays of PDA were to happen around him. She couldn’t fault him because she didn’t want to see him making out either, so they both managed to keep the affection to an acceptable minimum whenever Elias was around – although it wasn’t always easy and sometimes they slipped, much to her brother’s disgust.

“I take it you’re letting him in?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to go and find Even then and punch him for telling Vilde where to find us.”

Yousef laughed and said, “Make sure it’s extra hard from me!”

Even could be found leaning against the wall in the front room, chatting to Isak and Eskild. Sana punched Even as she came up to rest alongside him.

“Ouch!” Even said. “What was that for?!”

“For sending Vilde out into the hallway to find me. I thought she was going to have an aneurism.”

Even grinned smugly. “Serves you right for grabbing Yousef like that and making me witness you ravish him.”

“Consider it payback for all the years I’ve had to watch you and Isak slobber all over each other.”

“Slobber?” Even said outraged. “We don’t slobber. We are so pretty when we kiss.”

“So pretty, Sana!” Isak chimed in.

Sana laughed then and had to concede the point. She still remembered Chris and Kasper’s make out sessions, which had not been pretty and she refused to think about Vilde and Magnus and the gross shit they’d got up to in front of everyone.

“Aww you and Mr Bakkoush were interrupted,” Eskild said. “You can always use my room if you want.”

“It’s okay,” Sana said, managing to suppress the shudder at the thought of the state of Eskild’s sheets. She might find her husband irresistible but she still had basic hygiene standards.

“Wait until you get home and scar Elias?” Even asked.

“It doesn’t take much to scar Elias and it’s always fun.”

Her brother walked into the room then with a small disgruntled look on his face. She couldn’t figure why he was irritated until she looked at Yousef just behind him and grinned at the smudge of lipstick he’d missed at the corner of his mouth. The boys were going to tease him about that for days.

#yousana #sana bakkoush #yousef acar #skam #sana x yousef

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