🎵 Disco Elysium
THOUGHT COMPLETE: WOMPTY-DOMPTY DOM CENTRE
BONUSES:
Encyclopedia passives give +10 XP and +2 real
-2 Suggestion: Pretentious wanker
SOLUTION:
You're at home, stupid cop, not with the art crowd. You hate them, everyone hates them, even they hate themselves. It's nauseating -- an industry built on sprezzatura and sparkling wine. And, let’s be honest, tax evasion schemes. The Wompty Dompty Dom Centre is the heart of this unholy symbiosis of esthetics and tax optimization, and now that you've internalized it – you can have a piece too!
The rear tyre of a motor carriage adorns these reeds.
Relax, it's not yours. You didn't crash every mc in Revachol. (Hopefully.)
Rust-eaten letters read: "MAZUT."
Looking back at you from the rust-coloured water: you.
A kick drum pulse. The music is coming from somewhere on the ice.
Hm?
A school of fish huddle around the fence post. Then scatter into the dark.
Before you, a drawbridge. It can only be lowered from the other side.
Accidently covered up the bridge by hovering over the cash pickup, whoops.
Full of holes. Could the posts hide... treasure? Look inside.
The posts, as it turns out, all have various rewards in them, including money, medicine, and a bottle of alcohol.
ALCOHOL "POTENT PILSNER"
A sturdy bottle of beer that tastes like piss. Not that you would know how piss tastes like. Just a guess. The label says it's made in Revachol, by Lafayette Potent Brewery.
Heading back slightly to the west of the ice, (or east of the telephone) there's a building.
You feel the shadow of a very large building fall on you.
The sign reads: "Saint Brune 1147."
Dusty pews in the shadows. Many seem to be missing.
An altar shrouded in dark. Or something else like that -- it's too dark to tell.
CHURCH DOORS - Heavy wooden doors more than twice your height stand shut in front of you. The rectangular, sea-worn ornamentation appears in stark contrast to the padlock carelessly drilled into the wood.
Rattle the doors to see if they open.
Inspect the carpentry.
Take a closer look at the padlock.
Inspect the staple.
[Leave.]
CHURCH DOORS - Nothing happens, only the sound of the padlock rattling against the door.
KIM KITSURAGI - "I don't think that's going to work..."
SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - High above, the wind wraps the church in its rush. Cold and wet from the ocean bay, it parts around the massive keel-shaped roof. Like a test tunnel washing both sides, the way it has done for three-hundred-and-forty years. The wind keeps its distance. So should you.
"What is this feeling?"
Back up and look at the door.
SHIVERS -
THERE IS A HOLE IN MY HEART.
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant looks at the padlock. He didn't hear you asking, you were quiet enough.
2. Inspect the carpentry.
CHURCH DOORS - The carving on the door is blocklike and angular, like the church itself. Two large beams shoot downwards, sinking into the wood before they reach the threshold.
Run your hand over a beam.
Back up and look at the door.
CHURCH DOORS - The surface is smooth from the wind, but moist to the touch.
3. Take a closer look at the padlock.
CHURCH DOORS - This cheap-looking padlock is sturdily built. It shackles together a hasp and a staple screwed into the wooden door. The lock is adorned with a yellow sticker.
INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - It'll be easier to break the staple than the lock. Also -- that sticker is interesting, somehow...
4. Look at the sticker.
CHURCH DOORS - You see a yellow circle with two X's and a big curve below them that looks like a mouth. You're pretty sure you haven't seen it before, but what the symbol depicts is clear enough: a smiling dead guy. The curve makes it smile and the X's make it dead.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - There is something blindingly *modern* about this symbol. Its modernness puts to shame everything you've seen before.
What makes it so modern?
"Have you seen this symbol before?" (Point to it.)
Take another look at the boring padlock. For absurdity's sake.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - It's the contrast between the cheery, chemical yellow and the rigor mortis. As if the cheery guy didn't know he was dead or the dead guy didn't care that he was. Either way, you get the sense the forces of *future* are at work here.
INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Success] - These forces of future have chosen to depict something that reminds you of... you.
"Have you seen this symbol before?" (Point to it.)
KIM KITSURAGI - He takes off his glasses and uses a blue handkerchief to thoroughly wipe them clean before inspecting the sticker. Then he looks up, pauses, and replies...
"No."
"What does it look like to you?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "Looks like a dead man smiling. Suggests... junior delinquency."
"Okay, what is *junior delinquency*?"
"What is suggestive of junior delinquency here?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "For Revachol ZoC, the Moralintern defines junior delinquents as minors between the ages of 10 and 16 who have committed an act in violation of the law..."
"These acts aren't called *crimes* as they would be for adults. Crimes committed by minors are called 'delinquent acts'. This was part of your officer's exams." He puts the handkerchief in his coat pocket.
"What is suggestive of junior delinquency here?"
KIM KITSURAGI - "I haven't seen that sticker before. And I am not a youth."
"I agree -- it's very modern. But does the cheery guy not know he's dead, or does the dead guy not care that he is? What is the source of the irony here?"
Padlock, padlock, padlock!
KIM KITSURAGI - "That level of conceptual thinking is not part of my skill set."
5. Inspect the staple.
CHURCH DOORS - The padlock passes through a staple that's been hastily attached to the wood. Closer inspection reveals that one of the screws is not a screw at all, but a nail. The work has been done recently and is unprofessional, to say the least.
LOGIC [Easy: Success] - Should you want to get through, it might be easier to just pry the whole thing off.
(Turn to the lieutenant.) "This is where Mr. Prybar comes in handy."
Back off.
I just happened to have the prybar equipped from opening containers earlier.
KIM KITSURAGI - He takes a step back. "Maybe we should circle the building first and look for another way. The building has seen enough mistreatment."
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - There is a touch of guilt in his voice.
"Should we start with that kick drum coming from the ice? I heard a sound, before."
KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. The pulsing bass..." He raises his hand to his ear. "A sure sign of junior delinquency -- somewhere east of here."
6. [Interfacing - Easy 9] Try to peel of the sticker without ripping it.
INTERFACING [Easy: Success] - There's nothing like the sound of a sticker unpeeling. Now it's stuck to your thumb.
Put the sticker *in* your ledger -- after the last entry, where it belongs.
Put the sticker *on* your ledger -- right on the cover!
Shake it off your thumb and throw it in the wind.
INTERFACING - Voilà! Looks very modern.
Secret task complete: Style your paperwork
+10 XP
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - You're part of the future-brigade now. And so is your formerly humdrum ledger. Neon, baby!
Let's not break into a church and check out that sick beat.
6. [Leave.]
It must have taken a lot of patience to do this.
ACELE - A shaggy-looking girl in her late teens or early twenties kneels on the ice with an electronic contraption in her hand. Hearing you approach, she looks up.
"Oh, hello there."
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - It's cold out here, but she's not wearing a hat! She must be freezing.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Everyone knows drugs make you invulnerable to cold. You bet this one likes to *party*.
"Dear child, it's freezing. Where's your hat?"
"So, you wanna *party*?"
"I have some questions for you."
[Leave.]
ACELE - "Huh?" She looks up at you, distracted.
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - Maybe she didn't hear you. A little louder.
"I said, you should have a hat on."
ACELE - "So should you."
HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - You don't *have* to do anything.
"*I* don't have to do anything. I am the law. *You* have to do what the law says."
"I should -- and I do." (Point at your hat.)
"We're done here." [Leave.]
ACELE - "Real cool..." She looks down at the device, mumbling under her breath.
PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - "Way to abuse that power, man..." she says, thinking you can't hear her.
COMPOSURE [Easy: Success] - She bats away your questions like flies. She's not intimidated by mere police officers.
"And the law says you have to wear a hat in this weather."
"So keep that in mind while I ask some questions."
ACELE - "Tsk..." She lets a quiet *tsk* roll off her tongue. "What kind of law says that?"
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