#maybe a part 2 if this goes well
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So I had an anxiety attack came up with a theory that if I put forth energy on January 1 then I will sow similar energy throughout the new year—for example, if I don’t sleep at all from midnight to midnight then surely this year I will have more energy in general. (My anxiety takes pleasure in consorting with my insomnia.)
In that spirit, because I want to actually write more Zero Win Game and just write more in general this year (there was an impressively small amount of words written by me overall in 2023), here’s…
A random fucking monologue by Akane that popped into my head while I was waiting for FF7R to download. It has now been an hour and a half since I started that download, and it gave me an estimate of about ten minutes.
…I’m pretty sure I can’t fit this into the Fragment where it originated from. “We have sixty minutes to escape or we all die but I guess we can indulge little miss Reversed Moon Arcana in one of her deranged fucking monologues.” I dunno. If you find yourself reading this aloud can you time how long it takes you?
Actually you know what, fuck it, I’ll shoehorn it in. It’ll be my own little Ice-9 lecture.
(Time yourself anyway I’m curious.)
“Akane, can you tell me what you remember from today?”
…
I remember…
Isn’t that funny? I remember. They said I wouldn’t, but I do, they said they’d be muddled, but they’re clear, I can see them so clearly.
They said they wouldn’t inject me, but they lied. They said it would make me forget—I guess they lied. They must have lied. I didn’t forget, I remember. I can see…
No. I can’t see them. I can’t see it.
I was looking at you.
But I can feel it. I feel it straining, fighting against me, getting stuck—it won’t turn, the wheel has to turn, the wheel always turns, the wheel can’t get stuck, it can’t stop, except when it does. Sometimes it does stop. The wheel stopped. And I had to push it to get it to turn again, WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO HAS TO PUSH?!
I feel the moment that I push too far, but it’s not too far, it’s exactly far enough, I had to push you this, far, or else people would’ve just been hurt with nothing to show for it. I know it hurts, but I can’t just stop when it hurts, or else other people get hurt, everybody else gets hurt—so isn’t it better that I hurt just a few people, isn’t it better that I push you not too far, it’s never too far, it’s just far enough to change you forever, shatter your fragile humanity and make you something…
Less. A pile of ash that used to be a scared little sister. Then more. A functionally immortal being that can see and speak into the future, into the past, into a different present where someone was shot instead of spared, a proto-god that can see everything everywhere and everywhen… that used to be a scared little sister.
…Was she scared, do you think?
Her blood was warm when it hit my back, warm like an embrace, like the final embrace she’d ever give to anyone ever again in this timeline, and she gave it to me instead of her soon-to-be-grieving brother.
It didn’t dry. I would’ve felt it if it did. They must’ve cleaned me up. How considerate of our kidnappers, to respect proper hygiene as they force us to kill each other. Don’t share needles! Don’t injest mysterious substances! Don’t walk around covered in the blood of your victims!
God, I can smell it. It’s weird that I can smell it, it’s weird that it’s so overpowering, ‘cause isn’t blood supposed to be odourless? It’s not the blood that’s so overbearing, not really, it’s the iron in the hemoglobin trying to do its duty of carrying oxygen throughout the bloodstream, and it’s the iron that reacts to the oxygen in the air, and there was so much hemoglobin, there was so, much, iron. But it isn’t completely overwhelming, blood is supposed to be odourless, after all, and there’s only so much iron, it only takes up so much of the blood that’s spilled.
You’d wish it was completely overwhelming. I wish it was, at least. Because then it would mask the other scents, the worse scents. The scents of human waste being released upon death—because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you die. When you’re alive, you’re so tense, you’re so clenched, you keep everything inside, you just hold it deep inside, and you never let it out, you can’t let it out, you keep it bottled up forever, no matter what, no matter who—but when you die, the part of your brain telling everything to tense up dies first, and every other part of you forcibly relaxes, and everything comes rushing out, and everyone will know what was hiding inside this whole time.
Assumably. It’s never really happened to me, relaxing is for other people to do once I’m done, not that I’m ever done, ‘cause I always have to push. I don’t get to relax, not even in death.
…I can hear it.
Pulling. Screaming. Tearing. Splashing.
Ends are always so loud.
A quiet death would be nice, I think. I’ve never experienced one before. It’s always loud. Useless pounding and roaring jets, futile arguments and falling axes, reminiscence and splashing water
Yeah… When I’m finally done… When it’s my turn to relax…
I just want everything…
To be…
……
I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
#zwg#zero win game#zwg spoilers#cw blood#cw gore#cw graphic#i don’t actually know how to tag ‘a graphic depiction of waste release upon death’#there. that’s a tag.#zero escape#zero time dilemma#akane kurashiki#you know something? this was originally like. half of the monologue.#in my head she goes on to talk about other rounds as well#and then i started to write and i’m pretty sure akane kurashiki just fucking possessed me#maybe there will be a part 2 after i post the rest of this timeline#if i remember
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it’s not that it makes me sad per se but i really could’ve been dating someone i did actually kind of really want to date since JULY. and now the moment is literally so far gone and i didn’t realise until the moment was so far gone !!!
#like it actually doesnt make me sad because there wouldve been major complications Had we dated#and the person who i trust most in this world has told me theyre glad it didnt happen#and i think in the long run he’s not the First person i should date anyway like in an ideal world we’d date like. 2-3 years on from now when#i’d been in at least one relationship to work out how i operate in a relationship#but it’s also like i wish i had known that the opportunity was there and i wish i had taken it#and part of me goes well maybe in 2-3 years it COULD happen#but i think that does a disservice to the person he’s dating now like . i do hope they’re happy and it goes well for the both of them#AND ALSO ITS WEIRD AS FUCK TO BE LIKE OH WELL MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS ILL DATE THIS PERSON *AFTER* another person??????#like bitch who do you think u are that you’ll have managed to date ANYONE in that time and also why the fuck would u date someone without#hoping it would last????????#but thoughts ≠ action nor are they inherently moralistic#but also that’s a weird way 2 think about relationships#it’d be funny if it happened though#idk i just think that if the timing was different he and i could have so much fun dating like genuinely i think it’d be a really good time#but it’s really weird because i’m not pining away after him or anything like ik it sounds like i am#but it’s not like that it’s more just that it’s opened up all these thoughts that i hadn’t really thought possible before ?#and they’re not possible NOW bc he’s dating someone else so i’m in exactly the same position but idk#i think i’m getting too settled. i’m TOO SETTLED.#because it’s literally not normal to think oh maybe in three years we could date and it’d be better timing for both of us ???????????#unhinged behaviour. what the fuck is that.#it’d be fucking hilarious if it happened tho
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it's so funny how everyone brings up that tsukasa starved himself for a role, but nobody brings up the fact that he
1) ate the day of the audition to be in top form
2) went out to eat with wxs in part 2 of his card story
#txt#tsukasa tenma#i dont wanna say it wasnt angst tho. bc the first part of his card story was saki and toya worrying about him 💀#and in universe wxs was concerned#but 1) rui trusted tsukasa not to push himself too much/said he'd put a stop to it if it was detrimental#2) tsukasa didnt do that bc of self hatred. he clearly did not like starving himself 💀 dude ordered a steak the moment he could#granted i think tsukasa should keep pushing himself until something goes wrong (but wxs/an adult figure steers him in the right path)#colopale do you hear me#tsukasa has Some self preservations skills atm but if he were to risk his health again ...and it has worse results....#well that could be interesting. but i do think it would lead to a friendly 'woof yeah maybe that wasnt the best' conclusion#as opposed to him prioritizing roles being portrayed as a bad thing#canon talk
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i think my zelink playlist is my only good one like this shit is devastating genuinely
#the one exception on there being I would do anything for love by meatloaf#which is a classic case of “I like this song so much that I'm gonna black out and insist it goes here anyway even if it maybe doesn't”#lyrically that song is fine its just that the rest of the playlist is sad indie shit so it fucks with the vibes a bit#anyway this post is kind of a lie my el and max ones are also good and also probably better than the zelink one#it's just that 99 percent of the time if I make a character/ship/feeling playlist I get like 4 songs in it#go “hmm I'll work on this more another time” and never touch it again. so. most of them suck#and that's part of the reason my entire spotify profile is private#but the zelink one. well it's technically also not done to me hence why I made it in may and then never sent it to gloomy#hi gloomy sorry gloomy#but it's like 2 hours long which in retrospect is I think a normal length for playlists but not to me not if it's you#2 hours is normal if you curate that shit I don't curate my ideal playlist is an 8 hour monstrosity with every song#that even briefly induces character feelings#so um. georgia by phoebe bridgers though#anyway I was actually listening to the zelink playlist today bc I was thinking about ANOTHER couple. um😐#and it was genuinely getting rancid awful radioactive in my brain so I was like “FUCK THIS!! I NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE”#and forcibly induced a zelink breakdown#prescribed 500 ml of zelinkism to combat The Diseases
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opening untitled google doc #7592 so I can attempt to write something again but ultimately never finish it
#rambles#but ill keep doing it bc. if i dont write i will never learn#i had another homestuck scenario i wanted to write but you see i only have an idea for one specific part#and i have 0 writing experience so i cant write it that well if i dont have a good udea 4 what i want to happen#anyways the premise is that feferi ascends to god tier (more like cod tier) after eridan kills her#& she revives nepeta and equius. the rest of the trolls r like hesitant to revive eridan right away#but feferi goes ahead and revives him anyway bc she has very conflicting feelings & shes like 'i just wanna talk 2 him 38('#ofc this backfires#eridan waking up & immediately assuming the worst; freaks out and runs away from her cuz he thinks shes gonna [krill] him again#(fish pun bc i saw the opportunity and couldn't resist)#then he runs into kanaya and freaks out EVEN MORE and then attempts to run down stairs & trips on his dumb scarf (affectionate)#and falls down a flight of stairs#ive had that specific scenario in my mind for like a few days now!!! and ive been dying to put it down somewhere!! augh#other cincepts i havent fleshed out include: eridan hiding from everyone on the meteor. eridan and gamzee alliance maybe.#some exploration on how kanaya feels abt this bc i feel like kanaya is always portrayed as angry at eridan but ppl forget WHY shes angry!!!#shes *greiving*. the matriorb was like the hope for their entire race & she was tasked 2 protect it and it got destroyed#its very sad to me. murderstuck as a whole is tragic 2 me because theyre all children and i dont think any of them shoulda died#idk i hope that makes sense#um also eridan putting themself in a cycle of 'not evil anymore i want to be loved now. evil again' cuz#characters who destroy their relationships w others over and over again mean everything to me. self destructive characters my beloved#and also everyone who was revived makes it to the alpha session so eridan and roxy friendship can thrive <3 (i am ill)#and also eridan transgender arc is mandatory sorry#wow i am sorry 4 talking so much down here ive been DYING 2 get this idea out but like#i cant ramble normally in posts i have to do it in the tags or i get self conscious otherwise agh#feel free to add onto this if youd like i think#homestuck#oh also maybe nonbinary roxy too maybe bc i really like nb roxy headcanon and also t4t pale eriroxy so wonderful
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Fun Fact: If you use Twitter at all (in its dying days...), go check out the Nevermoor Quote Bot if you haven't already! It tweets out a Nevermoor quote every hour, pulling from the books and any extra chapters. It currently has 1016 quotes, and who knows how many Silverborn will bring.....
#nevermoor#nevermoor fandom#I just realized I don't think I ever shared about it on here lol#nevermoorbot my beloved. I don't want to lose youuuu </3#took me like a year to deep dive the books + gather quotes not only bc I was busy and it was a lot but also bc I got distracted theorizing#was I perhaps too generous in choosing quotes? maybe. but it's not my fault that like every single part of the series is literally perfect#also despite the bank it has to choose from I feel like it does a ton of repeats which is. kinda annoying!#but I don't have the energy to trim it at all. nor do I think I would want to get rid of any of them tbh lol#anyways I hope that twitter and the nevermoorbot and cbdq stick around for silverborn and stuff to be released so I can add it#but who knowsssss#I might have to look into alternatives if it ever goes down </3#anyways I love qrting stuff from this bot to my 2-5 nevermoor followers bc the fandom is NONEXISTENT on there which. oh well.#also this isn't a fun fact i've realized but IDGAF tbh!
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signing my legal name like ohohoh they want my super secret identity name?? you want that one?? hehehe they are so bamboozled. they get the fake name :)
#i say this as someone that only goes by a different name at home and like. only 2 people are willing to use it#it's fine for now but idk if the name i have rn is vibing well#how do people even pick names#why do i even need a name#i like not needing a name. i mean. i'll answer to whatever but i've never had any attachment to names#in my head i don't have a name and you can talk with people without one#ugh#the struggle of creating an identity#you know what i do like? titles.#L's ass overlord is welcome because it describes me in ways that no name has#and i'll probably have to get a doctorate too so then i could just be doctor#that or i find a way to become a captain (<- is afraid of the ocean. i would never sail anywhere)#i've been browsing some naming websites for weeks but nothing feels right#part of me wants something really long and unnecessary because that's fun#but my legal name gets a lot of mispronunciation and it's annoying to correct people#i just answer to any variant i hear and i hope dearly that no-one runs into someone who says it differently with me around#so maybe something simple? idk#ughhhhhhh if anyone has any advice tell me i am struggling and i'd like to have a solid association with a name by the time i graduate
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they did not have to go this hard omg
#tye spoilers#they really said: let's have sad animation for the entire season but Kahaku can have amazing facial expressions for a second 😎#AND IS THAT NEW MUSIC I'M HEARING#IT GOES VERY HARD TOO#...i wonder if the 'i want it to end' is a poor translation on the subber's part?#i'm pretty sure i've got official subs here#but in both the weekly and volume release of the manga#he says something more along the lines of just wanting to rest/have some relief#now he just sounds suicidal (esp with his more extreme facial expression here. manga fushi just looked exhausted)#not that I don't absolutely adore a more suicidal aspect being given to a character#especially since his earlier tone of suicidality wasn't very well emphasized in the anime imo#also good fucking god the color grading on these gifs is atrocious#my internet is being weird so i had to use clipchamp and it shows :(#ALSO I NEED TO GO WATCH HAIRO'S BACKSTORY SCENE AGAIN#BECAUSE EVEN IN THE MANGA. I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD IF THAT WAS INDEED TASSETTE???#his entire backstory doesn't make a lick of sense but sjdhgfdjsjhdegydhdiye was that actually tassette???????#hmnbnmnbn there's three episodes left but i really think there's only 2 episodes worth of manga content#but i'm bad at estimating#like surely the next ep won't be ENDING with Bon's death right? and maybe they'd dedicate an ep to the aftermath of that#but then what.....#also i still can't tell if kahaku was lying. more just...panicked and making excuses up on the spot?#just a frantic 'it's not what it looks like i didn't mean it!!!' type vibe
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I feel like… from Bond 0 - Bond 2, it's them always at each other's throats. Like, in an "I'll kill you" "Go ahead, make my day" kind of relationship. With them mocking each other CONSTANTLY. Not gonna lie. I feel like Kiomi's been stabbed once or twice because she really does constantly mock him.
Bond 3 - Bond 4 is where they kind of have a steadier master x servant relationship. With Kiomi trusting Izo with more things, and Izo having little problems about following her command. Like, this is the time where when he thinks Kiomi's gonna use a command spell to make him retreat, she just reinforces him so he can make his kill. She also notices how good he is with the sword, and technically praises him for a good kill. She picks him for missions because he's efficient to bring along. She also asks his opinion on stuff he wants to do and what he doesn't, battle plans, etc. Like me and Gore were talking about a long while ago, I feel like this would throw him off because he's so used to being excluded from this. I mean, Kiomi is not going to take "do whatever you want" for an answer because the whole operation is riding on every decision she makes. And if she's bringing servants, she's getting their input no matter how useful, crude, stupid, or outright impossible it is. She'll make it work. She also calls him Saber because he seems to like it. And really, by doing that... she acknowledges him as a proper swordsman who is at par with other swordsmen, and not just a killer.
Bond 5 and above is the normal on this blog. Kiomi, with feelings. Aaaaaah of course, some things dont change. Where battle is concerned, they're always butting heads. Just because Izo has one stubborn master that INSISTS on fighting in the frontlines or fighting battles on her own terms. I think this is where they're actually pretty similar. Playing through Yamatai, he has the tendency to go off on his own to do his own thing which eventually benefits the team. He's not the type to do intricate strategies, so he goes with his gut. In Ryouma's Close Call. He also did something similar where he went over to Takechi's group... without any real explanation. I don't wanna accept the "because Takechi is there" reasoning because well, we've seen just how indignant he is about the people who betrayed him. (Subverted with Ryouma, because we all know how deeply he cares about this guy.) Going back. Kiomi also has the tendency to not tell her team things and go off on her own; making decisions which she hopes will benefit everyone in the long run... because she is also influenced by gut feeling. Like in my scenario for Close Call... she switches sides to investigate the Kinnoutou before going back to Chaldea when Takechi and the rest joins them. She also doesn't let Shinbei die, because servant. Lol, kidding. Mostly it's because she wants to use him before letting him have closure with Takechi. (In this regard, she and Takechi are the same xD) She can't. If there was a way to save Takasugi, she would too.
That's why she usually teams up with Nagayoshi during fights. Battlewise, she and Mori are on the same wavelength. After all, she's the master who literally has a collection of heads that Mori's brought her.
Anyway, one of my favorite things is... when Takechi puts a wedge in Kiomi and Izo's bond. Which actually happens at a level 5 and above. I love all the angst complexity it puts in their relationship as master and servant, as well as whatever feelings they are fostering at that point.
As my Takechi (Ruler) is corrupted by Amanojaku...
His resentments during his life, up until his death are greatly amplified. And he blames Izo for everything that had happened, so he's just here to make his life a living hell by slowly ruining what he has worked so hard to achieve... just like how his actions and his confession ruined the goals of the Tosa Kinnoutou. He's gonna gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss his way through this, and slowly chip away at their bond. As much as Takechi doesn't want to break his own master, because... he's actually quite loyal to his lord... having her betray Izo's trust so he comes crawling back to him like the loyal, disposable dog that he is... is the plan. A broken master is one more vessel for Amanojaku anyway, so that's one plan in the drawing board.
Takechi is observant and studies his master well. He picks out all of their good points, and uses it to his advantage. Picks up on their weakness and uses it to his advantage. So with Kiomi who is always quite good to her servants, it's easy for him to tell Izo that he's no one special. That there's no preferential treatment for him. Even when there actually is. And he purposefully lets Kiomi get a glimpse of his mental assault on Izo to get her to do what he wants. He is literally here to ruin people for the sake of his own goals. After all, he cant have his master distracted by silly matters of the heart. He also wants her to be more calculating, use everything she has at her disposal. He doesnt mind being used as a tool so long as the goal aligns. How very Chen Gong of you.
Lol. I dunno what this became. But that's my ramble for today.
A related pic for the story in the tags. :'3c
If I managed to hurt you all a little bit, you're welcome.
#Saint Graph || Headcanons#I ended up rambling again.#All my routes for Kiomi are so fucking depressing...#Well... maybe except for that one where she ends up dying but she meets Izo's spirit in a replica of the place in his Bond CE.#By that time#Pan Human History has been restored. She's living with Nobu and Nagayoshi.#At the cabin that Nobunaga built for her.#She goes to Izo's grave any time that she can.#And during the time when she felt her own magic circuits are about to kill her...#because that shit's been eroding her from within for the longest time#She asks Nobu and Nagayoshi to take her to Kochi one last time.#She passes away there in front of his grave.#I haven't drawn part 2 yet. But it basically starts at the place in Izo's Bond CE. He's just there as if he's waiting for someone.#And then out of the blue someone just attacks him.#Which is Kiomi of course. And she gets a long ass lecture as to what she's doing there.#She apologizes for arriving late. He gets angry and tells her that she shouldn't have been there at all.#To divert the topic she asks where Ryouma and Oryou is to which he says he's not sure. And she proposes to go look for them.#After all that's happened they're still able to meet beneath clear skies.
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a triangle and other things id like on my body
#bc alt j but also like . cool shape mathematically + delta as in everything delta represents including a change / transformation#still need ideas for a tattoo that goes along my entire spine though#ill defintely get the phi symbol tattooed at some point and probably psi as well#tifold knots mean a lot but also i feel the triangle covers it . same w R^3 spaces ..#and also like . 2n-3k-3>0 maybe somewhere bc in knot theory any smooth k sphere to which that applies is unknotted . and it represents sm#bc it has so many applications to like . diff areas of maths and bio and genetics and physics and everything everything ever .#some of my favourite axioms . including axiom of infinity + also a { } for obvious reasons (existence of an empty set is still an existence#but also like . idk theres more 2 it im sure you get it maybe)#something to do w angels more to do w manifolds#the letter v (a valley like the one i died and loved in + the longitudinal fissure + vogt dig for kloppervok + lots of other stuff)#an octagon formation that reminds me of breathing#(alders breathing keeping weeping leaves all sinking fever dreaming brothers sleeping wolves all creeping weavers weaving - wickerbird)#some forms of liquid swirls in red (red for wine or love or blood but mostly wine) particularly around the angels bc its a persian poem#and its where my name is from and it means a lot . a straight line with regular gaps inbetween it like the windows of a train#(particularly around or inside or a part of the angels maybe for many reasons . incomplete line / train imagery paired w holiness . hmm)#something to do w an opened up pomegranate (preferably close to the red lines)#a part of the night sky superimposed over itself (twice as many stars as usual) . in the dark times will there be singing ? there will be#singing of the dark times .#rippling effects somewhere around the wine swirls (diving into your grief and raising your head instead of drowning + the universe#isnt mine its me + to care is to accept that you may drown for it + my memories w vodka + a lot more)#dots going down veritcally (water falling off trees and the pipe of the building as the snow melted in the mountains)#the audio waveform of the repeating tune in the song dissolve me#maybe around where the wine lines ripple out a bit#archives#quartz clock
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thesis progress: barely any writing but i drew stuff and made a mockup. not gonna even pretend i have any excuses. i'm feeling really stumped on the text and i gotta try and go to bed early today so i can go to world's shittiest professor's class tomorrow
#the most important thing that's missing is probably going more in depth with the ethics part?#like how its important for me to use ai-gen for useless purposes bc the corporate drive to make a hustle out of everything goes against#human nature itself#however. this argument also goes directly against me wanting to use up my images with care#well maybe not entirely against#maybe only superficially so....#bc keeping these images alive and kicking also opposes big tech ideas of obsolescence#it's saying 'there's still meat in these 128 sq px i don't need to upgrade to fucking idk what res stuff is today'#just checked and dall-e 2's page uses 1024#smaller also means less compute so on and so forth. yeah i don't think it's entirely antithetical#well anyway#thesis talk
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this assay is so fucking fake......
#same one ive been working on for like 3 months. every other assay ive trained on took me a couple goes to get but ive done this one ~45x#and i keep getting 2 good runs and then 1 fail. which SUCKS bc i need 3 passes in a row to sign off on it#and its so sensitive that changing even tiny things like using a different brand same volume beaker. or a 0.5cm longer flea#anyway i had another 2 good runs this week so this was my 3rd but bc its a friday afternoon im tired as fuck and keep making dumb mistakes#like overstirring it + one of my samples leaked which is soooo embarrassing bc ive already had to ask for more before bc its taken me-#almost 50 fucking attempts already#anyway. hour and a half into prep and im at the most crucial time sensitive part which is pipetting thr enzyme into the substrate#and i manage to do it all w even time spacing (u have to replicate the exact same pace at the end of the timer or it doesnt work)#and then realise id picked up a different identical model pipette that was set to half the volume i was meant to put in FUUUUCK#by that point i was like fuck it im almost 2 hours in and nothing else to do the rest of the day. so ill work around it + see what happens#i figured well its half the volume. so if i add the same half volume again at the 5 minute mark and leave it for 12.5 instead of 10 mins#then itll hydrolyse the substrate to the same degree. IN THEORY in practice this stuff never works bc of error margins etc#bearing in mind this js like 30 seconds of thought bc it took me a couple mins to realise what i did#but the thing abt working in a lab is u make these split second decisions constantly bc everything is so time sensitive#so u have to be quick thinking on ur feet#anyway long story short got to the end of the 3 hour process. which i was carrying out v sloppily bc the chances of it working were-#slim by that point lmao. but lo and behold it was completely fucking fine. all cvs less than 5% and averages <5% of spec#which is awesome bc it means after THREE MONTHS and like. 45x3 whats that AT LEAST 135 HOURS OF FOCUSED TIME ON IT#not counting attempts i gave up on halfway thru bc id alreaady fucked them up bad#i can FINALLY sign off on it lmfao. but im just so mad like why does it play these mind games with me. it shouldnt have worked#whatever chemistry is such a fickle stupid science. anyway wahoo weekend time baby#gorgeous weather here + im gonna get pizza on the way home...... maybe life doesnt suck sometimes 😇#mutuals if ur still at work stay strong soldiers#.diaries
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ok i watched poor things 👍
#ensposts#it was a movie#i think. sadly. i may have to spend another 2 hours 20 minutes of my life watching this movie again eventually#theres a lot goin on in there. its got good funny moments and good dramatic moments#amd other parts that. well idk really#but anyway the girl ive been talking to said she wants to see it so maybe if our date goes well ill suggest watching it together
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we're dodging violence against Junpei today.
you know, i think clips are getting to be... about October? i have 600 in queue right now, it should be close. i kinda realized, this entire last year has been games that took place in Japan. Digimon Cyber Sleuth, World's End Club, Persona, i got into AI: The Somnium Files(i hope the next sale is soon!). i should probably also just play The World Ends With You, just to add another to the list, i got that on DS back in the days i was bad at prioritizing what to do in games. i saw the shrine in the background of this one, and it just kinda hit me how many of them were in Japan.
#video#persona#persona 3 portable#7/22/23#one long scroll down later: YUP! oct. 16. wonder what things are gonna be like when this posts.#wonder how that Smeargle run of moon went or if i'll even be done with it actually.#well i started it. i should shoot out a quick update about that soon...#twelve days after this posts- the 28th- is the five year anniversary of this blog. wonder if i'm gonna do something for that...#i feel like i should. 5 years is a nice achievement but i have a hard time getting ideas.#wait a second... a-chie-vement... i jest i jest. who could anticipate a soft dragon quest builders 2 reference?#ooh now there's an idea!#wait this means the queue's gonna be close to three months behind when this one goes up. it should be a bit faster from here!#i say with no guarantee lmao. :p#BUT i think i want to wait to get the P5 clips going for longer than a week?#the series has no like. monthly thing to care about so i could get away with that. i could probably start that schedule about when Dec hits#maybe tues-wed-thurs i feel. the mon-tues-wed is nice and all but i think it'd prefer that one a bit more.#also when i queue up the dragon monotype run i should make sure that one has it's own day probably.#more effort on my part is fine.
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Don't feed him he'll come back
simon riley x neighbour! reader
summary: The ghost that lives in your apartment is a solitary man, people tend to stay out of his way, giving him a wide berth. You can't help but think he seems a little bit lonely, cue pestering him with bad jokes and food.
word count: 1.6k
part 2 here
There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment block. Though it feels more accurate to say he’s an occasional visitor. He comes and goes, like a lost spirit, unsure and aimlessly wandering. He slinks silently through the hallways like a wraith in the few instances when he is there.
The first time you see him is just a glimpse from the corner of your eye, a large hulking shadow standing at the door next to your apartment as you step out from yours.
Your feet stutter to a stop, the landlord had mentioned a neighbour but in the 3 months you’d lived there you’d never seen him. As if sensing your eyes lingering curiously on his form, deep brown eyes turn to meet yours. You can make out no other details of his face, the black material of his balaclava obscuring most of his features.
A century could have passed in those few seconds and you doubt you’d have noticed. Despite the weariness in his gaze, you found yourself pulled into the deep pools of those stunning eyes. Like a predator, his gaze never moves from your body, even as you offer him a friendly smile and wave before walking down the hall to continue your day.
You’d heard the uneasily whispered tales of the Ghost that haunted the apartment next to yours from some of the older tenants, though you’d never put much stock into the idle gossip. His burning gaze bores into your back and follows until the doors of the elevator close and you suppose you should feel intimidated.
It’s hard to conjure up any such feelings, even with the knowledge of the wariness he elicits in others. It’s hard to fear the hulking figure of the Ghost when he had such sad eyes.
He hid it well but you recognised the loneliness that lined his shoulders, the bone-deep exhaustion for life that managed to slip through tiny cracks in his self-imposed shield.
You suppose at that moment that even Ghosts can be haunted.
Maybe that’s why you found yourself knocking on his door later that evening with the tray of pasta bake. Initially, you’d made a large batch to have a few days left over for yourself. Yet just as you opened your fridge you’d hesitated, mind flashing to the man next door. Did he have any food for himself? There was likely nothing fresh, and he’d seemed too exhausted to pull himself to the grocery store during the brief encounter earlier.
Donning your Crocs, you’d marched over and knocked on his door before it properly registered that you were in pyjamas. The door swings open and your eyes trail up, the balaclava is gone, replaced with a simple black face mask letting you glimpse blond hair.
“Sorry if this is a bit intrusive, but I figured you probably didn’t have any food so…” you trailed off, pushing the tray towards him, expectantly waiting for him to grab it. It took a few seconds before he robotically took the tray, probably out of sheer confusion more than anything else. Stepping back before he could return the food you offered one last smile before fleeing to the sanctuary of your apartment.
Two days later you exit your apartment to an empty and cleaned tray, a small note with a simple ‘thank you’ placed within.
His name’s Simon, and apart from an introduction and the occasional dish left at his door, you don’t actually interact with him again until nearly a month later. And that had simply been a case of forced proximity a la broken elevator style.
Simon remained unflappable as ever, and it’s at that moment you decide to try and get a reaction that isn’t stoic silence.
“A bear walks into a bar and says give me a whiskey and …cola” Brown eyes turned to look at you curiously, brow raised to let you know he was listening. “Why the big pause? Asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. I’m not sure, I was born with them.”
The joke doesn’t land, silence is the only reward for your comedy genius. “Ok, playing hardball. Alright then… Why did Susan fall off the swings?” Again, there is no answer, but a glance at his relaxed posture indicates he’s listening. “Because she had no arms.”
No laugh but you blaze ahead.
“Knock knock.” It takes a few seconds but with a playful glare, he responds quietly and with a tinge of amusement.
“Who’s there?” It’s not the first time you’ve heard his voice, but it still births a serious case of butterflies in your gut that takes more than a few seconds to fight down and regain your composure.
“Not Susan.” You can’t stop the peal of your giggles at that one, and while you swear you see the corner of his cheek curve upwards a little it’s not enough for you to be satisfied.
“I can’t believe it’s come to this, but I guess it’s time for the big guns. You better prepare yourself Riley 'cause I’m done holding back.” You pause for a few seconds to let the anticipation settle.
“What is… Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination?” You take a deep breath before positively belting out, “HAAAAAAAND-EEEEEYE.” Whether it’s the shock from the sudden musical number or the joke itself you’re finally rewarded with a faint chuckle.
“Aha!” you shout in triumph, a smug grin splitting your face, “I heard that laugh, you can do more scowl!”
The doors suddenly open with a ding and Simon pushes off the wall, but not before rolling his eyes playfully your way. Silence once again descends during the walk to your respective apartments, yet it’s not uncomfortable. Swiping your key card it’s just as you step through the threshold that you hear it,
“Why did the chicken go the seance? To get to the other side.” Whipping your head around, you are met with the sight of his door closing behind his large frame, but a win is a win and you celebrate mentally over the exchange.
The next time you leave a dish at his door it comes with a written joke. Sure enough, a few days later you received one back. The months start to blur, and your Ghost comes and goes, but the jokes remain.
Month three sees you snagging his number, a daily joke sent his way even when he can’t respond. Because as much as Simon Riley tried to hide his hurts from the world, he couldn’t hide them from you.
You’ve loved a soldier before in your brother, can see the signs and smell the gunsmoke and blood from miles away. Apart from his team, it becomes obvious the man has nobody left, and believes he doesn’t deserve to be cared for.
You’re not foolish enough to think you can be that for him, but you are understanding enough to give him the choice. So you continue to send him jokes, puns, pictures of your cat Bingbong and anything that you think will get him to at least smile.
Three months turns to six turns to eight. He’s not physically there most of the time but you take every opportunity he is to coax him from the loneliness of his apartment like a stray kitten.
Once-a-week dinners at least. Freely sharing your life’s story without expecting anything in return. One evening you’d plopped your chunky tuxedo cat down on his lap and watched him freeze, hands hovering with wide eyes as he considered the ball of fur making biscuits on his thigh.
It was cute. He was cute. Even when he whipped around to glare when you took a photo, the corners of his lips downturned and tugged at the scars on his face. His bare face wasn’t necessarily a new sight but it causes your breath to hitch nonetheless.
Something you think he notices given the way his lips quirked up suddenly in a smirk. Rolling your eyes you huffed before plonking yourself down next to him on the couch. Bingbong doesn’t scramble onto your lap like you expect, instead deciding to remain on his new favourite human, traitor.
You pay very little attention to the movie even though you’d chosen it, too acutely focused on the large bulk of Simon next to you. Your shoulder rests against his arm, his body heat emanating from beneath his hoodie and absorbing into your skin.
You’ve never been one to fall asleep during movies, but there’s something about Simon’s presence that soothes you, lulling you into a restful slumber as you slump against his chest. Bingbong meows his discontent as you accidentally squish him, jumping away with a huff, none of which you notice.
It’s the sun shining straight onto your face through the open blinds that wakes you the next morning, a groan of confusion leaving your lips as you stretch and look around to orient yourself.
Sitting up, the blanket that you just now realised covered your form fell down to your waist. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes your phone falls to the floor when you stand, the screen flicking on to display the time.
It’s not until you sleepily stumble into your bedroom, plugging your nearly dead phone in and face-planting onto your pillow that you realise Simon must have tucked you in. The smile that covers your face is so wide it is painful and you fall asleep once more, dreaming of the phantom sensation of his arms wrapped around you.
#x reader#cod mw x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#ghost cod
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SETTLE DOWN!
luke castellan x reader
★ “for crying out loud, settle down!”
ABOUT - you hate his guts. he hates yours. but you’d by lying if you said you didn’t want to make out with him until his lips start bleeding. and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like that idea.
WARNINGS - sexual references, sexual comments, enemies to lovers, steamy makeout scenes, no explicit smut. both luke and reader are very horny and very mean sooo two red flags lol
A/N - please don’t make fun of my english/australian vocabulary. i know americans don’t use the word ‘fit’ but LET ME LIVE IN PEACE!!!let me know if you’d fancy a part 2 <3
WC - 3.7k words
it’s hard to recall when exactly your distaste towards luke castellan first developed.
maybe it started off as rude comments and shoved shoulders, or simply the act of tripping over each other's shoes, paired with a few nasty glances. either way, you hated his guts.
this sentiment was obviously returned by luke, who was eager to constantly egg you on and rile you up. maybe he found it amusing- watching the ever so calm and collected eldest daughter of the hypnos cabin going absolutely ballistic whenever luke did something slightly annoying. he loved the way her mature and gentle persona shattered as soon as he provoked her.
it was rather strange how quickly they let their masks slip, letting themselves shout foul obscenities at each other as soon as a conflict arose between the two of them. it was like being near each other was the primary catalyst for their arguments and squabbles- not the actual contents of the disagreement itself, but the players involved.
curiously, luke’s terrible attitude was never extended to anyone other than you. around everyone else at camp half-blood, luke was the perfect gentleman. warm and welcoming to anyone who happened to walk past him, a great swordsman, well-kept, respectful and polite, the list goes on. he was perfect. but as soon as his eyes met yours, his entire body shifted. he became something colder, something ravenous- something hungry. he was out for blood, he just didn’t understand why.
you were slumped over a picnic table near the cabins, tiredly observing all handful of half-blood kids from various cabins making friendship bracelets.
it was dark out, the moon and the embers of the nearby fire acting as the sole providers of light for the camp that night.
truthfully, you didn’t want to be there. you would rather be in bed, coddled up between your sheets for hours before heading down to the infirmary to help out the younger kids with their sleeping troubles. maybe afterwards you could go down to the theatre and join in on a few songs with the apollo kids, or even practice sparring with clarisse.
whatever it was, you didn’t want to be there. not with luke castellan’s eyes studying your every move. you didn’t need to lift your head to know he was looking at you- you could feel it. the arrogance was radiating off him and you could smell his pride from across the picnic table. your nose easily picked up on notes of wet grass, a neutral deodorant, pure spite, and vanilla candles.
after what seemed like an eternity, you eventually shot your head up to meet luke’s unwavering gaze.
“someone’s sleepy.” he smirked, his voice calm and cold. he looked satisfied; content with watching you slowly rise in anger as he began to coddle you and patronise your every move.
you ran a hand through your hair, fixing the messy state it was in after laying down for so long. “i’m not sleepy, just bored.” you retorted, letting your hands hold up your head as you stared deeply into his eyes, not breaking eye contact.
luke played along, refusing to blink as he picked up on the competitive gesture. “bored, huh?” he mused, shooting you a cocky grin as he leaned forward over the table. “you’re never satisfied, are you, princess?”
you rolled your eyes, letting your pupils meet the back of your head as you stifled a groan. you slowly covered one side of your face in your hand, hiding your pink cheeks as a result of his use of the nickname ‘princess’.
“don’t you have a loser convention to get to?” you asked, referring to the cabin councillors meeting that he was supposed to be at.
luke shrugged, looking to his side as he watched a young demeter boy making a bracelet. “got cancelled. now i get to look at your pretty little face for an hour straight.”
“i’m going to bed.” you grumbled, standing up from the picnic table, an unfinished friendship bracelet left discarded. you walked away, hearing little to no protests from the rest of the table.
luke’s eyes met the bracelet you left behind, studying it for a moment. the colours were cute and the beads were placed strategically along the string, creating an interesting and visually pleasing combination of textures and shapes. luke’s hand wandered over to the bracelet, quickly snatching it before securely tying it and stuffing it in his pocket.
luke wasn’t sure why he stole the bracelet. maybe he thought he could taunt you with it, or maybe he could just wear it for shits and gigs. it was a pretty bracelet- why wouldn’t he want to wear it?
a week passed by, and it was time for capture the flag.
luke had consistently come out of the games a champion, securing his place as the best swordsman at camp half-blood whenever possible.
you were tired of it. you promised yourself that when the opportunity arose, you would beat him to it. you would earn the praise he revived so effortlessly.
your determination to win capture the flag was also partially encouraged by the events of the previous tuesday.
you, luke, and a few other older demi-gods were forced to monitor the younger campers on a trip to the nearby lake. simple, right? wrong.
things went south fast when luke ‘accidentally’ nudged your shoulder a bit too hard, forcing you to fall into the lake. luckily, you were a strong enough swimmer and were able to get back on land safely.
“sorry about that, y/n. maybe next time you should keep out of the way?” he leaned in close, whispering in your ear.
luke smirked lightly as his dry hand rubbed the soaking wet and now transparent fabric covering your shoulder. his lips softly grazed your neck as you released yourself from his grip, shooting him a dirty look.
“you should watch your step, castellan. things like this happen to anyone.”
luke scoffed, looking you up and down as he took in the sight of your shivering body. “do they now?” he asked, his head turning to follow your figure as you walked past him.
as you walked away, luke couldn’t help but study your body as it became revealed by the fabric of the camp t-shirt sticking to your skin. how could he not admire the way he could see the vague outline of a lacy black bra underneath your top? or the way your wet hair was framing your angry little face? how you stared him down as your friend offered you a towel.
if you weren’t so acutely aware of how your figure was on full display, you would’ve pushed him in as well- but you were way too infuriated to even get close to him at this point… as well as the fact you didn’t think you could handle the idea of him taking off your shirt in front of you, all wet as his hair let water droplets roll down his torso.
maybe you could handle hitting him with a baseball bat a few times, but the idea of his face all beaten and bloodied was strangely appetising as well.
in all fairness, luke’s actions were not unprovoked. it’s not like you didn’t also tease him and fuck around with his temper.
for example, the very day before the incident at the lake, you had used your abilities as a daughter of hypnos to put him to sleep… for 19 hours, causing him to miss out on camp activities and lose hours of valuable training time.
you felt pure bliss watching him as he stepped out of the hermes cabin, confused and disoriented as hoards of campers instantly surrounded him.
“are you okay luke?”
“i heard you were in a coma!”
“we thought you were a goner,”
luke blocked out the concerned comments of his peers as soon as he caught you gazing over at him from the deck of the hypnos cabin.
with that ‘i got you good’ smirk plastered across your face, luke knew he had to get you back. getting to see your semi-exposed and cold, shuddering body in the process of doing so was only a bonus.
he felt a high from getting to see what he caused. what he did to you. it made him hungry for more. how else could he anger you? get you to show him more? how could you return the favour? would you? he didn’t know if you realised the effect you had on him- but he was going to do anything in his power for you to feel it too.
but those incidents were nothing compared to what was about to go down.
2 hours into capture the flag, and you had managed to fool and scare off enough members of the blue team, causing many individual members to go off track. those hours practising sword fighting with clarisse were definitely worth it.
you leaned against a nearby tree, closing your eyes for a moment as you fiddled with your sword. lost in thought, you heard something coming. more specifically, someone. you didn’t even have to open your eyes to know who it was.
“oh, hey castellan. isn’t it past your bedtime?” you asked, rubbing your eyes open as you lazily swung your sword back and forth.
luke scoffed, taking a step towards you. “i think i like you better when you’re drenched in lake water.” he smirked, looking into your eyes without breaking contact. he couldn’t look away. it wasn’t even because he wanted to intimidate you; he simply couldn’t stand to have you exit his field of vision. not right now, at least.
you look a step backwards, getting into position as you use your shield to protect yourself. “are you gonna try to maim me or what?”
luke took another step forward, mirroring your stance as he took the defensive. “and hurt your pretty little body? i’d rather die.”
you turned red, your mouth agape as you processed what he had said. “excuse me?” you spat, your voice breathy as your eyes widened.
“you heard me,” he smiled innocently, deceiving you before beginning to attack. you blocked every move, pacing around the area as you swung your sword at him. “you’re such a fucking prick!” you grumbled, trying to catch your breath as you struggled to mark him with your blade.
“language, princess.” he scolded, still smiling at you as he continued his attempts at disarming you.
that was the moment when you realised something.
you can play dirty.
not with your sleep-themed party tricks or your weak little fists, but with the power of unpredictability. the element of surprise.
you let him get closer to you, pretending to settle down before him. luke chuckled at the sight of your loosened grip on your shield and increasingly tired eyes, noticing the way your footsteps shuffled backwards and forwards.
“someone’s getting tired-“ his cocky sentiment was quickly cut off by the feeling of your hands tightly gripping his arm- his shock only furthering as your teeth dug into the soft skin on his wrist.
he instantly dropped his shield, his sword still held firmly in his other hand. you quickly released him from your bite, taking a step forwards as you put your weight on his shield. “ow- what the fuck?!” he stammered, looking up at you with red cheeks and a bleeding hand.
you were stumped. you hadn’t thought further than getting rid of his shield. “i didn’t mean to break skin to be honest. sorry.” you shrugged, picking up his shield and throwing it far away while he was still frozen in shock.
luke continued looking at you, silent as he became overwhelmed by the feeling of a ruthless war finally coming to an end within his mind.
obviously, he found you attractive. you were a pretty girl. sure, a lot of girls at camp half-blood were pretty. but for some odd reason, he thought you were much prettier. the type of pretty girl that deserved to be called cute nicknames every day and covered in gentle kisses every night. he wanted to kiss you softly, hold you tightly, say you looked gorgeous, make you tacky beaded bracelets that were the same colour as your eyes. he wanted to make you feel loved.
but he also thought you were a brat. always teasing him and only him. driving him insane with targeted comments and insults. purposefully making him look stupid in front of the younger campers and even patronising him for it. luke wanted to put you in your place. he wanted nothing more than to push you onto his bed in the dead of night, marking you as his. he yearned to hear your strained voice whimpering his name as he towered over you. he wanted to exchange knowing glances and pretend nothing had changed, despite the images of your hands gripping his bedsheets as you let out stifled moans etched into his mind.
luke often wondered how the two could overlap. how the fuck could these two perceptions of this one girl coexist? but luke didn’t wonder how it was possible to think about anymore, he didn’t care about that. now, he wondered if it was possible to act on both of his separate desires for her. he wondered if she even wanted him as much as he wanted her- if she wanted him at all.
“hey, i said i was sorry for making you bleed!” you called out, snapping him out of it.
“stop sulking! what, do you want me to kiss it better or something?”
luke blinked for the first time in what felt like centuries, shrugging as he let a sly smile creepy onto his face. “oh, im not sulking.” he insisted as he stepped closer towards the shorter girl.
he extended his wrist out towards you, a deep and bleeding bite mark engraved into the skin. “you gonna kiss it better, or…?”
you turned red, shaking your head. “i was just joking, castellan.” you murmured coldly, trying to avoid his gaze.
he kept his hand extended towards you, temping you to just take it and kiss it to get him to leave. “fucking loser…” you grumbled, holding his hand in yours as you gave his wrist a soft kiss.
“there, better?” you scoffed before luke’s hands began to tightly grip your wrist, spinning you gently onto your back as he pushed you to the ground, hovering over you. luckily, you still had your sword in your hand. you quickly moved it in front of you, holding the blade close to his neck.
“be careful, princess” he cooed, his sword digging into the dirt ground, standing upright in is position as the skin of your right thigh pressed against the blade. his hands gripped your shoulder and waist, keeping you bound to the floor as you began to squirm under his grip. “ugh, are you kidding me?!” you huffed, your face red from the feeling of intimacy between the two of you arising.
luke was basking in it, relishing the moment as he became almost addicted to the feeling of your skin against his. he let out a hitched breath, his eyes trailing down her frame as he finally realised just how close they were. the vulnerable yet stubborn look in her eyes set off a switch in him. you watched him curiously as he suddenly became a flustered mess, quickly scrambling off of you and standing up.
you lifted your back off the ground, using your hands to rid yourself of the dirt that had accumulated on your shirt.
“are you gonna explain whatever the fuck just happened, luke?” you asked, calling out to him from your spot on the ground.
he rolled his eyes, turning around to face you. “shit, y/n- are you fucking stupid?” he questioned, his voice reeking of irritation and frustration. you furrowed your brows, standing up as you approached him, sword and shield in hand. “oh, alright. forgive me for wondering why the dickhead who threw me into a lake a few days ago was pinning me to the ground in the middle of capture the flag for no reason?” i explained, seething as i pushed him back by the shoulders.
“what the fuck is your problem?” you asked again, letting yourself back him up against a nearby tree.
the game didn’t matter to you anymore. what mattered was getting to the bottom of why this prick was fucking around with you. sure, you liked how it felt being pushed against the ground. you liked the feeling of his blade pressing against your thigh. but you liked the boy more than his actions. you hated yourself for it, of course. this was the dude who’s been teasing you about and pushing you around for 3 summers straight- so why the fuck did you think he was the fittest guy you had ever laid your eyes on?
why did you want him to run his hands through your hair? suck on your neck till it went purple? why on earth did you spend countless nights dreaming about him holding you close as he slept next to you?
you were the eldest hypnos daughter at camp half-blood. you could’ve changed your dream easily; came up with literally any other fantasy at the drop of a hat- but you didn’t. you let it continue. because as much as you hated to admit it, you liked him. you wanted him bad. every last inch of him.
luke let your words echo through his mind for a bit. ‘what is my problem?’ he thought, his expression blank as he stared at you. “i don’t know, y/n! maybe my problem is you?” he said, his voice strained, yet still snarky and somewhat dramatic.
you rolled your eyes again, stepping forward. you kept your hands on his shoulders, pressing him further against the tree he was pinned against. “i’m your problem?!” you asked angrily, holding your sword against his neck once more.
“yes! you make me feel fucking weak.” luke confessed, gripping your wrist tightly as he pushed your hand away in order to create some space between his neck and the sword. “i can’t control myself around you.” he exclaimed, pushing his hand against yours as you retracted the blade from his neck.
“you bring out the worst in me, and i hate you for that.” you arched your brows, leaning forward. “that sounds like a you problem.” you quipped, defeatedly pushing the top of the blade of your sword into the ground as you let your newly free hand grip his chin- forcing him to look down at you.
luke’s hand wandered over to your face, his thumb softly grazing your bottom lip as you tilted his chin downwards, letting him look you in the eyes.
“don’t act like you don’t get exactly what i mean, princess.” he cooed, his voice low as his fingers traced over your lips and cheekbones, his other hand gently caressing your jawline as his fingertips wrapped around your neck.
you grumbled, standing on your toes to reach his height. “you’re a prick.” you scoffed, your eyes fluttering closed as you eagerly kissed him on the lips, his cheeks turning red as he mirrored your movements. he let his hands run through you hair, his other hand resting on your waist as he turned you around- pushing you against the tree now.
his hands ravenously scattered across your delicate frame, trying to feel every curve and dent on your face, back and waist. you pressed your body against his as his hands travelled across your form, closing any and all distance between the two.
after a few straight minutes of violently making out, you pulled away for air, staring into his eyes as your lower lip trembled in shock. you both tried to steady your breathing, lost in each other's eyes as your heartbeats returned back to normal.
“i’ll kiss you again if you turn around and let us win.” you said quickly, the offer seemingly the first thing you could think to say.
luke stayed quiet for a moment, before bursting out into hesitant laughter. “i mean, that’s a pretty good offer…” he said softly, letting his fingers trace your facial features as he studied the colour of your eyes.
“sure.” he said, a little smile on his face as you both leaned in again, the kiss a lot more passionate this time around. you held a clump of his hair in your hand, lightly pulling on on it as luke’s fingers jumped between gripping your neck and shoulders- the other hand running up and down your waist and hips.
you felt his knee hit the bark of the tree, slightly bent as it lightly pressed against the inside of your thigh. that’s when your hands began to grip the back of his shirt, your lips gliding down to the side of his neck. quiet moans escaped luke’s lips, only encouraging you to keep going. he moved his hand downwards, tracing circles into your hips as he moved his other arm hand upwards, cupping the space on the side of your breast with his thumb, lightly rubbing your ribcage.
the moment was only increasing in intensity- before luke was cut off my the sounds of someone calling his name. he quickly pulled away, leaving a gentle kiss on your lips before stepping back.
“right, time to hold up my end of the deal.” he chirped up, leaving one more needy kiss on your forehead.
“oh, by the way-“ he paused, before quickly pulling the bracelet you made the week before out of his pocket. “did you want this back, princess? or can i have it?” he asked cheerfully, his voice low as he looked over you.
“keep it.” you said hastily, your cheeks a vibrant shade of red. luke nodded, giving you one final kiss on the lips as he put the bracelet on the same wrist you had bitten earlier. he gave you a subtle wink and a smile, before jogging away- leaving you frozen in place.
you could hear him talking to his friend from a distance, noting on how he lied to effortlessly- saving your arse over a few kisses.
needless to say, the red team won capture the flag. but luke couldn’t bring himself to care about losing. how could he care about anything other than y/n and her hands and her smile and her eyes? her witty comments and remarks? the way she tilted her head up to look up at him? the way his face fits perfectly in her palm? how could he care about anything else ever again?
#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan x you#percy jackson#pjs#pjo tv show#pjo series#pjo x reader#luke castellan smut#luke castellan enemies to lovers#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson tv show#pjo#luke castellan fic
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