#marius just massages his temples the entire time luke is eating the orange | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

actualbird · 1 month

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marius: My boyfriend just called to tell me he's eating an orange he found in a parking lot and I'm now realizing we're going to have to have a discussion about "found ground food".

luke: it's an orange! it's---there's a protective peel around its entire surface, so the fruit inside is fine

marius: it is NOT fine, you dont know where that orange has BEEN

luke: where it's been?? what do you think the orange did?? go dumpster diving? swim in the gutters by itself?? it's an orange, it cant do anything but be an orange

marius: doesnt mean that you should just EAT ANY ORANGE YOU FIND

luke: hey, i want it on record that i would not eat just any orange, like, like if i saw an orange at a crime scene, i obviously wouldnt eat it---

marius: you wouldnt eat it because of the hygiene or because it could be evidence?

luke: the latter. BUT MY POINT STANDS. im eating this one

marius: YOU ARE AN INSANE PERSON

luke: it probably just fell out of somebody's shopping bag, it'll be fine! ive ingested worse poisons back during NSB training to build resistance against chemical substances!

marius: just because youve survived worse, doesnt mean that thats your baseline of putting things into your DIGESTIVE TRACT

luke: blah blah blah im marius and even if im not a doctor im gonna sermon my boyfriend about some totally harmless found ground food---

marius: first off, your 'me' impression SUCKS. second off, "FOUND GROUND FOOD"??????

luke: you dont understand. leave me alone. im angry at you now. hmph

marius: ARE U SERIOUS

luke: sorry i cant hear you im having a moment with this orange

#luke eats the orange and stays 'mad' at marius for a grand total of 7 minutes #marius just massages his temples the entire time luke is eating the orange #tears of themis #mariluke #marius von hagen #luke pearce #asks #anon

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