ok so i just actually can't take SSRIs even if i'm on lithium, this is good to know 👍 i'm going off the SSRI again because in the span of 2 days it's made me agitated and high energy which is a Warning. and i could just be having a weird day but i'm not risking it and my psych's advice anyway is if i get like this on an antidepressant to stop it immediately + start antipsychotics if needbe

Tales of Duviri is a storybook written by Euleria Entrati for the purpose of teaching children how to handle the manic flood of emotion that comes with Void exposure.

I pose a question: why does Euleria feel so strongly about this?

Her interactions with her own children are... let's call them wanting, and dialog implies that the negative aspects of their relationship--her denigrating, controlling nature, the distrust, etc--did not begin only after the Infestation brainrot set in.

We also know that she holds her father in extremely high esteem, but Albrecht did not think much of Tales of Duviri (see: him talking about his previous disdain for it in his own Duviri notes). Euleria put resources into writing Tales of Duviri instead of more traditional science, and Albrecht did not think much of it.

So why did Euleria write Tales of Duviri?

Let's rewind a step. Void exposure-induced mania, the whole thing Tales of Duviri is written to help manage.

How was that discovered and studied? It clearly was studied, enough to be a recognized condition and for the Orokin to build the iso vaults and for Euleria to write Tales of Duviri. But who would they have observed this mania in if Void research was an abandoned dead-end line of study?

Perhaps...the man obsessed with the Void who'd survived an unshielded Void dive?

Euleria had patient zero of Void mania sitting at her dinner table. Albrecht is the character who's undoubtedly had the most Void exposure.

Albrecht himself must have exhibited the Void mania and mood swings that Tales of Duviri exists to teach caution of.

And that's why Euleria wrote it; she had this gyroscope of a mood swing at home. She admired Albrecht too much to consciously deride his lack of control as irresponsible and so she channeled her energy into writing Tales of Duviri instead.

The emotion spirals of Duviri are loosely based off of what Euleria witnessed in the Entrati household and particularly Albrecht himself.

I don't believe that any courtier is a 1:1 translation of a member of the Entrati household, but more that their toxic interactions and dramatic heights reflected things that Euleria herself saw--or lived.

This reading of the Duviri characters and story--that they mean things to Euleria specifically--gives us a fun new lens to look at all of the chapters with.

For example, Mathila.

"Two children, and no memory of her husband. Poor Mathila."

Two children like Euleria herself, eh?

Mathila loved her husband. He also textually does not exist. He's not on the screen or in the text. He is a memory, and one that Mathila herself cannot even remember. There is no portrayal of their love.

Pivot to a writer's perspective. You need to write a loving relationship. You look to real life for inspiration, right? If you're a married woman needing to write a married woman in love, you naturally look to your own relationship.

And if you can't find anything to base that love off of? Well...move that character offscreen. Just tell about the loving relationship, don't show. Actually, do you even have anything to tell about? Well. Move the entire loving relationship offscreen, then. She's got amnesia. Nobody needs to talk about the love to sell it or make it feel real now. The narrator can simply mention it as a fact and it need not be challenged. Euleria doesn't have to imagine a loving family life between a husband and wife and their two children and question why that's hard for her. There. Problem fucking solved.

Another parallel that fairly started screaming at me once I started considering that the Duviri courtiers had meaning to Euleria specifically: Luscinia.

"I was created to be Sorrow, written into being, to serve as a lesson... can that change?"

Luscinia knows that she is a tool. As much as she dreams of being more, she knows very well that she is a tool--both a literal narrative element to teach a lesson and within the story itself Thrax's servant (his personal songbird).

Is there anyone in Euleria's life who might have some angst over their position as a tool? A servant who wants to escape the limited definitions of their role?

And so... here I am, back to my old role. The diligent servant. Albrecht would have smiled at that, I think.

Loid. It's Loid.

Luscinia: "This structure and I share much. Both of us once useful, both of us discarded, both of us now derelict. Both forgotten." Loid: "How might this relic make himself useful today?"

Both Luscinia and Loid are also capable of surprising amounts of ruthless violence. Luscinia has no hesitation telling you to kill the Dax or otherwise wreak vengeance on her jailers. Loid's Necramech lines feature him ranging from being excited for ensuing violence to coldly promising the Murmur regret.

The Duviri Tales were a subconscious form of therapy for Euleria herself as well, allowing her to write a story where emotional explosions were a problem that must be addressed rather than a social struggle to be suffered through at the whims of the more powerful.

I'm too scared to ask what the Stella man is, so what are your top 5 fall out boy songs for kissing you in the mouth?

the stella man is the love of my life and if tumblr ever ACTUALLY relaxes their NSFW rules, i'll show him to you.

As for my top 5 FOB,

5. Hum Halleluja- Pete Wentz is always at his best when he's being flippant about his mental health/suicidal ideation. A teenage vow in a parking lot/ 'til tonight do us part/ I sing the blues and swallow them too is so relatable to me. Also, the line you are the dreamer and we are the dream/I could write it better than you ever felt it is literally PEAK emo lyricism (dad rock could nEVER)

4. Disloyal Order of the Water Buffaloes- the song is like pure crack to me. I have it on half of every playlist I make, regardless if it fits or not. Like Taylor Swifts Style, if I don't hear this at least once a week, I need to check in with myself. Am I okay? am I drinking enough water? Also, pure emo fun so boycott love/detox just to retox/and I'd promise you anything for another shot at life catch me singing that out an open window at 9am in the mornig

3. Miss Missing You- Anyone who says the don't like this song cannot be trusted. Sorry, you hate ART? Sometimes before it gets better/the darkness gets bigger/ the person that you'd take a bullet is behind the trigger (OH) I REST MY CASE

2. Bishops Knife Trick- I admit to being an "new fall out boy sucks" sort of snob, but I do hate MANIA as a whole EXCEPT for this song (and last of the real ones obviously). I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/ it doesn't want to live in a cage/ a feeling that i can't housebreak I'm sorry, is that not EXACTLY how anxiety feels?

The Pros and Cons of Breathing- Take This To Your Grave is a perfect album and I'll die on that hill, and there was no lyric I loved more to scrawl all over everything as an angsty teen like I hate the way you say my name, like its something secret/my pen is the barrel of a gun/remind me which side you should be on (WHOA-) Was I going through something serious? Absolutely not. did I feel like I was? 100%

Following on from your other ask then. What’s your ‘ideal’ scenario for The Beatles, post-69? Is there a way for John and Paul to exist in each other’s spaces without being weird™️? And would that ‘ruin’ the vibes even if they could?

Oh man that's so hard. I think first of all, we need a scenario in which things didn't get the point of lawsuits and such, which requires some emotional maturity/communication improvement before all that goes down. So ok, let's say they manage to avoid that.

I think the 70s look really different from the 60s, for many reasons. And obviously this is just spitballing and I only know what I have pieced together in my new-fan-mania, but here goes.

As much as I adore the absurd co-dependency of the middle Beatles period, as much as I am fascinated by the intensity of their relationship, there's just no way for that to continue, for reasons of mental health, emotional stability, changing priorities as they desire a different type of family, and just the way people tend to change as they get older. You simply cannot maintain the emotional intensity of that teen/early 20s period your whole life and you can't put all of your eggs in this weird, transient band/"work" formation if you also want to develop as an individual and/or have a wife and kids. And as I previously mentioned or at least implied, I do think the intensity of that identity formation by necessity leads to a breakdown so I guess you can't rely on that even if you don't want those other things. I do think there was a way for John and Paul to work together. I think there are hints of it from how both talk about the other at various points--when they're not giving into their emotional reactionary whims in public, they both mention hanging out, even potentially writing together. Maybe that is also a whim of the moment, but they're at least potentially open to it? So IF they navigate the mess of '69 better, i.e. they don't have quite so much emotional wreckage under the surface making it difficult to reach out and leading to legal action etc, what does that look like? I think it looks like boundaries set and followed and again, communication. My belief is that they were so twinned at a certain time that neither fully realized when that had ceased to function, or really understood to what degree that had or had not "shared a brain" and therefore had no real idea when they were no longer actually speaking to one another but past one another. So this fantasy posits them acquiring some skills and a willingness to say, "this is what I want and don't want, this is where you get a say and I do, this is my time and this is yours. This is my family/wife time, and this is my me/you time." It requires them being able to better clarify what they are to one another so that there aren't misunderstandings about where they stand (as opposed to, say, the other's spouse).

I think the major problem with all of this is that while I think it might have been possible with more time, had John lived, given the intensity of their experience together and the commensurate hurt that cause when it broke down, this type of communication and boundary setting (and following) just aren't very likely. That's a LOT of emotional maturity to ask of anyone under those circumstances, let alone 30 year olds who really have had no life training. I think the film Two of Us posits something more or less accurate when it comes to them getting close to some kind of understanding but their various issues shutting doors almost once they're opened, because to keep them open requires conscious work and awareness of what's going on. Okay I've probably rambled way too much and I haven't even touched the potential other set of related vibes; I don't know if they'd ever not be weird™ but they might have achieved a balance IF they'd been able to talk out their issues and set reasonable boundaries. In that scenario, I think they could have written and played together, but it would have been a different partnership. Possibly a very satisfying one, personally and artistically. But there's always a chance, you know, they'd outgrown one another and the lingering weirdness was the emotional fallout never resolved.

I know you don't consider anything beyond tvd season 4 finale canon, neither do i. But we have to admit there was still a fuckton of oocness going on in the first 4, but especially the 4th season. Do you think it was realistic of klaus to be afraid of silas to the point of not even trying to defeat him, to gain back the title of most powerful immortal in existence? Is it realistic of klaus to admit defeat in any situation when faced with the... truly undefeatable foe? Like silas, makael, etc.

I mean, i believe you're the expert on klaus' character, you, out of the entire fandom, truly understand his personality, get where he's coming from, i say this sincerely. So is klaus the kind of person who would be willing to serve some higher power or being, if only out of self preservation and for the sake of those few he loves? Or would his ego (let us admit it is bigger than Alaska) not be able to handle even just the thought of servitude?

--- 

i believe you're the expert on klaus' character, you, out of the entire fandom, truly understand his personality, get where he's coming from, i say this sincerely.

So -fair warning dissertation ahead- it has been quite a while since I have written a TVD meta over a character but I still stand by TVD Klaus for the most part. He has been one of my most favorite characters in general (up to a point in canon). So I will always be bitter and salty for the treatment he got and by that I mean the treatment he got in TVD because I literally don’t care about TO Klaus in any kind of a way and I am actually one of those fans that when I heard that they killed him in TO I was actually “finally they took him out of his misery.”

All that been said I am remembering a time when by the time S4 of TVD finished when I was 100% certain without any shred of doubt that TO would demolish Klaus’ character and it would collectively be a mess. I still remember how adamant I was on that and how people acted as if I was crazy or something. Back then I had gotten quite a lot of hate even from the Klaroline fandom because I was irrationally negative. 

What people didn’t understand back then was that my negativity was based on two objective things. Because yes subjectively I can be a petty bitch and an asshole but I can take a step back and recognize reality for what it is. I was a Klaus fan first and foremost. An Original groupie after that and a Klaroline fan after that. I wanted a spin off about the Originals. The Originals had outlived TVD by leaps and bounds and in the hands of capable writers their spin off could have turned out to be probably my most favorite show to date. But in the end TVD and TO became a dead land of wasted potential. Because talented writers to carry the weight of TVD and of the Originals were nowhere to be found. And the two things that showed that to me was A. The backdoor pilot that established TO’s identity and premise (Kol was dead, Hayley was the lead, Rebekah had no place in that episode and was practically a guest, Klaus kept crying and mumbled nonsense and Elijah was incredibly OOC and the show was based on the concept of a pregnancy that many people believed it to be a hoax but nonetheless that was what set the Originals on course and let us face it....Julie Plec does not do subtle. The only twists she can think of is killing characters for shock value from which most of them she will bring back and plot wise she basically spells everything out so what you see is what you get. Julie Plec believes the viewers are not intelligent beings so she treats the plots she gives accordingly) AND B. The entirety of S4 when it came to Klaus Mikaelson.

Julie Plec had time to prepare the spin off. Months. To plan, to organize and the best she could do was what she showed in S4. Klaus was meant to have his own spin off and instead of the plot paying tribute to that they had to reduce him into a mess to make him fit in a parody of a show. S4 showed exactly how the spin off was going to be. I didn’t stop watching TVD because the Originals left or I didn’t have Klaroline anymore. I stopped watching because S4 was atrocious and ridiculous and it took one of my most favorite characters of all time and turned him OOC. 

Because YES there weremany OOC cases in season 4 of TVD which I consider to be one of the weakestfrom the seasons I have watched (S1-S2-S3-S4). It was a mess. JP took over buthad no creative vision and she didn’t care for the characterization. She onlycared to manipulate the story to the point where she could make the transitionto the spin-off. Which I would understand if this was a smooth transition orshe did it to avoid the plotholes but we all saw how she was like “ho ho nature’sloopholes”. She retconned everything. She didn’t care for the genre. For the established mythology. For the lore. For the characters. How can someone expect a writer to be able to write a decent show when she has no respect for the characters? None whatsoever? She was unable to even create a clear plot to drive the storyforward even in the expense of characterization. And this was not me reading between the lines. This was as clear as day.

Klaus wasOOC in many instances in S4 really. His intellect suddenly took a nosedive.Damon checks his phone records for example and Klaus doesn’t react. He didn’t even coverhis traces. Klaus the paranoid Hybrid that had always been steps ahead fromeveryone and was so overly suspicious that had lived for decades as a reclusewithdrawn from the world while having a cult worshiping and fearing him! Klaus just glared at Damon was fine with it. 

Elena andJeremy kill Kol and Klaus sheds a tear and barely blinks at their direction. All that with the spin off coming along and just a few episodes before the backdoor episode aired. Sure he threw a tantrum screaming some threats but then was like let bygones bebygones. The man that hunted Katherine for half a millennia and killed her family in retaliation for her not becoming the sacrificial lamb to his slaughter. But all of the sudden Klaus that was obsessed with his family let it go and even saved Elena and Damon in 4x23 without asking anything in return. Klaus Mikaelson did that while he was about to get his own show about the Originals sans Finn, Kol (that had such a devoted fanbase), Mikael, Esther buy hey at least we all had Phoebe Tonkin signing first before Joseph Morgan for the leading role while we have seen how much people adored Hayley right? Not to mention that she signed for the spin off before we saw Hayley on our screens. As the lead! Because you know a show much have a female lead and it is not as if they could get Rebekah being their female lead right? It is not as if this was a spin off about the Originals right? Right.

So Damonand Elena had the plot armor of the protagonists.Which is a cope out because stories don’t write themselves. Julie Plec is the head writer so she is responsible for what happens in the narrative. If she can’t give the pay off to the storylines SHE creates then why create them in the first place? Write something else.

But then it was not just Damon, Elena, Stefan, Jeremy and I don’t know who else was it? It was a constant theme.

 Hayley betrays Klaus and Klaus doesn’t kill her. Instead he gets to have sexwith her out of nowhere. And I would not mind half as much as I did if it was not so contradictory to Klaus’ character. Not the having sex part. But everything else that was disregarded to make this happen because Julie Plec had a baby fever mania. We are talking about a thousand years obsession that defined Klaus’ character. We cannot rationalize Klaus’ character as we would with a human. He had lived a thousand years and breaking his curse and creating his army was the very premise of his character in its core. The only goal he had for centuries was to break his curse and create hybrids. That was how he entered TVD and how his character was defined. Anyone getting in the way of that and he would kill them and everyone they have ever met more so if they would use his obsession against him manipulating him and tricking him into doing what they wanted and taking all control from him. More so if that created a chain of reaction that ended to his brother’s death. Those may not correlate completely but in Klaus’ mind certainly would. Then to top all that will more stupidity Klaus the insane manic control freak learns about Hayley expecting an impossible spawn and it is a situation that involves witches that are his enemy and…Lo and behold Katherine Pierce that is an arch nemesis of his is involved too and Klaus does not doubt the validity of the claim they are making with the chucky bun Hayley – the most trustworthy person he had ever met- is cooking in her oven. Sure that makes so much sense. But it didn’t matter. None of that mattered because in her mind Julie Plec had to get to the plot point she wanted and for that to happen nothing else mattered. Logic, consistency, any reason at all. How could people expect the spin off to make any sense when for making it happen in the first place all elements that made the Originals what they were had to be erased and deleted? You can’t get something illogical and expect to find logic in it or to make it logical when this is where everything had to be based to begin with. Like can we think about this for just a hot second here? We were about to get a show about the Originals that in order to happen the writers turned the Originals OOC and had to change them so to transition them to THEIR OWN SHOW. What was the point of making a spin off about the Originals (title and all) if you are going to alter them to something unrecognizable? That’ what the fans fought for? That’s what they wanted? No. But what the fans wanted didn’t matter in the end. 

And then let us get to the whole Silas’ mess. Doppelgangers here there everywhere. The big fuck you to the narrative that ruined both TVD and TO for me at once. It really made S2 of TVD pointless. It made the Originals seem like idiots. What was the point of Elena being the doppelganger and Klaus waiting for a millennia and chasing Katherine for centuries if there were available doppelgangers in every corner in every generation and year? What was the point of the curse and the moon curse, of all that intricate planning and of everyone working for Elijah and Klaus and being on the look out when it was practically raining doppelgangers every second day? How much of an IDIOT do you have to to be when everyone fears you and you have limitless resources, time and power and yet you miss THAT? Julie Plec took control not even a year after Kevin left and in one fell swoop she destroyed years of plot, mythology and narrative for no reason.

Klausfearing Silas would make sense. For many reasons. Being fearful does not mean being submissive. In Klaus’ case it means that he would get back on arms. One he does take pride at being the most powerful creature on earth. He would not allow anyone to take the mantle because that would mean he would be in danger. But also one defining trait of Klaus’ persona is that he is paranoid to a fault. Hissurvival goes above anything and everyone. This was why he was trying to createa Hybrid army in the first place. He didn’t want to be alone but he also wanted to be on the winning team. Creating his hybrids was intertwined with Mikael. It was defining him. Klaus wanted to create his own race. To get to the top of the food chain. To not be an abomination. To make all the pain he endured for a thousand years worth something. To take vengeance against Mikael. To not be the “boy” his father hunter and his family saw as the black sheep. To shame his father’s legacy. To be the bastard that became a King. The kind of King that creates his own supremacy world wide. To redefine nature. To become the patriarch of his own legacy and not be ashamed for his bloodline anymore. To be proud. To shield himself from his enemies. To makehimself untouchable. Unbreakable. To win the war without having to go to war.For his enemies to fear him so much that they would tremble only at the mentionof his name. Klaus has displayed fear in the past. Especially when it came toMikael. So what did Klaus do when he faced a weakness? He carted his siblingsinto coffins and withdrew himself from the world where no one would find himand plotted and bought time. He used his brain. He became unreasonably affectedby paranoia. Everyone else became collateral damage.

Klaus had asuperiority and inferiority complex all at once. He would not serve Silas buthe would try to find a way to not be backed in a corner. Back up plan for theback up plan. He would manipulate, he would lie, he would beguile, he wouldthreaten, he would use magic, violence, he would seduce witches to his bidding,he would ally himself with the devil if he had to, he would use Silas to getwhat he wanted making Silas believe he was using him, he would outsmart thevillain and be the better villain. Klaus in S2 was perceptive and a force ofnature that had survived for a thousand years by being several steps ahead. He was astrategist and a nightmare. Klaus in S4 was admittedly an idiot. The onlymoments that made a lick of sense was when Klaus massacred his hybrids andlater on after Kol’s death he admitted that he always planned to get the cureand kill everyone else when he would have his hands on it because he only usedthem as pawns so to get the cure himself and stop anyone from using it againsthim. After the way his hybrids plans had ended (which made no sense to end so abruptly but I digress) Klaus was ready to clear theboard and destroy anyone that destroyed his dreams. And that meant anyone thatstood in his way. Which was of course all words and no action or pay off.  

But whatmade no sense even with Klaus’ obvious brain damage in the end is that Silaswas planning to drop the veil and release the other side. Now Klaus in S2 wouldsee the coin from both sides. One side would be a chance to bring Kol back but theother? The other would have him running for the hills. He would find ways tothwart Silas’ plans. Because the other side breaking down meant that everyoneKlaus had ever killed, torture and mistreated would return with a vengeance.More importantly Esther and Mikael would return. That was motive enough forKlaus to arm himself and go against Silas. To become paranoid once more. Toburn the world if he had to so to stop his parents and especially Mikael from returning. Klaus was hunted by Mikael for a 1000 years. He was terrified ofhim. That terror and the daddy issues ran deep into a limitless void for Klaus Mikaelson. More so killing Mikael was a personal victory, the ultimate triumph, forKlaus and there would be no universe in existence where Klaus Mikaelson wouldallow anyone to take that away from him.

And whatdoes he do? He goes to New Orleans and forgets all about Silas and thepossibility of his father returning from the grave. In what world would KlausMikaelson ever do that? In what world would Klaus throw a tantrum about beingKing of a mere city and needing an heir (seriously....) when his worst nightmare was about tobe released again and the only thing that stood between his worst nightmarecoming to life was the Mystic Fall gang? It made no sense whatsoever. There wasnot even a shred of characterization that was left in Klaus by the time season4 came to an end. They literally gave him a lobotomy to create a spin off NOONE WANTED because the one EVERYONE WANTED was the one Julie Plec never wanted.

And mindyou they were preparing the spin off ever since the summer before S4 started.They had time to organize and give a plausible story. But the only thing theycame up with was a baby fever that demanded Klaus to be brain dead in order towork out and of course had to kill Kol after having him mention New Orleans (insult to injury!) because he was too dark for a mature adult diaper show about… the Originals. A so dark series where in Julie Plec’s book Klaus had to stop being the villain to get his own show. So he had to be contained and become domesticated. Because Julie Plec has certain archetypes of characters she works with. The logical thing to do with the Originals was to take Klaus as the villain he was and in the way he was loved by the fans and make him a more nuanced villain and the villainous protagonist. There was no need for any kind of redemption. If it ain’t broken why fix it? Just dig deeper into the layers and relish in the opportunities the genre provides. The Vampire lore gives countless examples of how this works. Dracula, Lestat, etc. This is still the horror genre. There was no point for baby redemption nonsense but that seems to be Julie Plec’s ultimate fantasy and truly she obviously doesn’t care or understands this genre.

And thenthere were people asking me why I was not giving TO a chance and was so sure itwas going to be a mess and I was like…really? Like REALLY? Where have you beenduring season 4?