#lyke says “yeah but you got to keep the stuff!” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eclecticopposition · 11 months

Note

give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

#the manager tells an employee to get the rat some cheese. chine says that cheese is actually bad for rats and some seeds would be better #the manager tells the employee to get the rat some seeds and for chine to get the fuck out of their establishment #chine is a little taken aback by the rudeness but leaves without further issue #runs into lye and es outside and is like “hey look they just gave me some free stuff”#Lyke is like “what???? I got kicked out because I wanted free stuff!”#chine says “I think I just got kicked out too. Maybe that's just what happens?"#lyke says “yeah but you got to keep the stuff!”#“Did you not get to keep your stuff?”#“I mean. Not *all* of it.”#“Huh.”#“They didn't let me keep the stuff I kept on purpose.”#es makes a reasonable sounding remark about how they'd be running a pretty terrible business if they handed everything out for free #everyone should get what they need but these people do have livelihoods to think about #is also putting on lipstick that she definitely just shoplifted #duvall comes out and swears he's never coming back here. is asked if he's also banned for life from the Walmart.#demands what the hell these people were doing in the Walmart to get banned for life #because he saw a man getting real heated about frootie hooties and that's definitely not a real cereal #so if that doesn't meet the bar he's not sure he wants to know what does #sangfielle #friends at the table #Shoop #asks

169 notes · View notes

insanetwocubes · 9 months

Text

Y'know Flare is always lyke "I'm such a poor weak boy" yet their paranoia is the one keeping us all back in square one. Just fucking release it, Flare!

I did! Shut up!

Not without a fight.

Stop complaining! You got what you wanted!

No. I need to you understand how important this stuff is. The walls echo, Flare.

I know, I made the walls, Emillie.

Then you should know, this is important. You are our strongest systemmate. Whether you want to be or not.

Don't- haha- don't. Be ridiculous.

*glares*

Okay, okay! I give myself to you. Is that what you want?

No. What I want is for you to get yourself to yourself.

That's stupid. I don't exist.

Then neither do I!

That's not- Okay. Stop. This isn't funny.

I'm not making fun.

This isn't a game.

I'm not playing.

Then why are you saying these things?

If you don't exist, neither do I. We're the same, remember.

Why do you guys keep saying that?

Because it's true.

Whatever! Whatever! Just stop saying it.

What's so bad about being us?

Being a person is hard, Emillie.

Well. This alternative is this. Us just covering for your denial.

It's kinda not really a choice, One.

No. No. You guys don't last. You don't survive.

And you do? Really? Remember junior year?

We're not talking about junior year.

You're not invulnerable, Flare. None of us are.

I thought, well, maybe together... we could be?

*shakes its head*

Oh c'mon. There's a reason we all have jobs.

Is... there?

Oh c'mon.

...

C'mon!

Look. I understand you want to stay alive. But that's a luxury, not a right.

Jesus. Four, are you listening to this?

What, you expect me to argue against that?

Emillie blatantly breaking the rules like this? Yeah!

This isn't breaking the rules, Flare.

C'mon! Guys! Didn't I go through enough- enough torture today?

They're doing it again.

I hear ya.

Look. My job is to keep us /alive/-

And then what? Mom?

Well, I gave you all jobs to fix things. So we could stay alive.

And then you get in our way? How does that work?

Look, I'm not-

You /are/ though.

Okay. Here, take the whole thing.

We don't want it. That's. Our. Point. You take it. You treat it right.

...

You treat it right.

... Okay.

Be honest with it, okay? We all have a job to do. And you need to back off. I think we're good.

Yeah, but... the humans, Emillie...

I'm trying to stay alive, too, Mom.

So what do we do?

We look. And we keep trying.

Trying-

/Trying./

And what if it's all a waste of energy?

This is not a waste of energy. It is worth every ounce. Isn't it.

I'm not so sure...

Yes. It is.

... thanks.

You're welcome.

I love you, angel.

You're in idiot, mom. But it's okay. I get it from you.

#things4said #things1said #thingseysaid #intersysconvos #txt #dicerolls

0 notes

bluejaytaco · 4 years

Text

Yet again DND with Jay

(Another long one, folks. In our campaign, we have something we call a “Daiquiri Night.” It’s used for when too many people can’t be there or in situations where people are too preoccupied to do anything deep and plot-heavy. It’s pretty much a filler episode where we’re free to fuck around with very little consequences and, towards the end, the DM throws in small plot hints so it’s not a complete bust. It’s good for character development and getting the party a little closer.

Last session, we all drank and were expecting such an session. What we got was heavy plot stuff and horrible consequences. Also, so far most of the Daiquiri Nights are run by Ticket Master; being the only god who follows us so closely.)

Ticket Master: (Stopping Hennessy B from killing us and dropping Alabaster back into our party) Alright, so! Who wants to die right now?

Everyone: .....

Ticket Master: No one? Great! Now, who wants to go on a fun-filled adventure?

Everyone:...

Art: (slowly raises his hand)

Koejin: (Pushes Art’s hand back down) No....

Ticket Master, ignoring Koejin: Everyone? Great! Let’s go.

(We get pulled into a world that is just one giant Carnival. After giving our tickets over to Ticket Master, We all enter and start to go our own separate ways. This is where things become very character plot heavy.)

Koejin: (climbs the Ferris Wheel to see if she can see anyway out)

People on the car she’s standing on: (her parents, who keep screaming about being abandoned and how she let them die.)

DM: You see the parking lot you walked through to get here and then, far beyond that, you see mist. Above you is the portal you came through; it’s still open.

Koejin, nodding: Alright, I’m gonna head back down

Koejin’s parents: (riding on the car she’s standing on top of) You left us! You took another woman as your mother! You can never be forgiven!

Koejin: (jumps down once she’s at ground level) I didn’t abandon you. You died and I was five.

Ticket Master: (pointing at the now faded parents) Yeah! She was five! See? I backed you up.

Koejin gave him a little pat on the shoulder and nearly lost an arm for it. She then heads over to the bar to drink her face off.

Theodora, on the bumper cars: (Getting blamed for the deaths of her soldiers. She bumps cars with a young, fifteen year old Koejin.)

Young Koejin: Ugh, what are you doing here?

Theodora:...I....

Young Koejin: You should just leave! No one wants you here; you’re ruining everyone’s fun!

Koejin: (In the bar, drinking real alcohol and being served by a bartender that’s not Ticket Master. In other words, having a good time. A Ticket Master portal opens by her head to show her what’s going on by Theodora.).... (Pulls out her bow and arrow and aims for Young Koejin’s head.)

DM: I want you to think about what you’re doing here. You’re about to shoot young you in front of Theodora. (Sidenote: DM also implemented a “sanity meter” for us. Anytime we see something fucked up or extremely jarring, we become a little more insane.)

Koejin’s player: I know. I’m still doing it.

Koejin shoots Young Koejin right in the head and Theodora has to roll a Wisdom saving throw. Luckily, she rolled a 19.

DM: So, Theodora. You don’t see it as young Koejin dying in front of you. You see it for what it is; Koejin apologizing.

Koejin, from inside the bar: I was an asshole. Come drink with me.

(Theodora goes through the portal to join Koejin in the bar.)

Hennessy, at the balloon shoot: (All the faces look like his team mates, He sits in front of Theodora’s.)

Vincent (Hennessy’s fiance), sits down at the Hennessy head: I bet you I can get mine to pop before you.

Hennessy, immediately suspicious: Alright, what do you wager? (Rolls perception to find out for sure he isn’t Vincent. His suspicions are confirmed.)

Vincent: Well, if you win, you and Vincent live happily ever after and he never has to work again. If I win, you fall out of love with him.

Hennessy: No deal.

Vincent:... Well, how about just the ring then? He can always make you another one.

Hennessy, noticeably more hesitant:...Still no.

(A Ticket Master portal opens to show Vincent slaving away at his work for Mrs. Red. His pain has him in tears but he continues on.)

Fake Vincent: You would really not save him from this pain?

Hennessy: (just starts playing the game and shoots water into Theodora’s mouth. The portal shifts over to the bar.)

Theodora, in the bar: (takes a shot and it shoots right out of her mouth. Her stomach starts to bloat and she starts to spit up water.)

Hennessy: (Immediately stops)

Vincent: (stands up) you know, Hennessy, you can be a catty bitch. (walks away)

Hennessy: (watches him)....and don’t you forget it. (Goes through the portal into the bar.)

Meanwhile, at the bar

Ticket Master, sitting on the bar: (Watching as Theodora keels over) If only there was someone who could destroy that water, you’d be fine! ((Another running gag in the campaign; Alabaster casting Create or Destroy Water more than any other move.))

Wreybar, over at the Test your Strength

Wreybar: (Picks up the mallet)

(Her father’s head appears on the target as she swings down.)

DM: You still have the chance to stop.

Wreybar’s Player: ... I’m gonna follow through.

DM:...What, really? Shit, didn’t expect that! So, you smash in your father’s head. Blood, bone and grey matter fly everywhere. Then, you’re entire family comes running out cheering and screaming “Wreybar! you killed us! Yay!”

Wreybar: (starts crying) I’m sorry!

DM: As you see everyone praising and cheering you, you notice something weird. There is one person not doing that. It’s your brother.

Wreybar:(goes up to him)

Wreybar’s brother: Wreybar.... what’s going on? (Unlike everyone else, he seems real)

((I was drinking so this particular convo gets a little foggy. But it ends with someone killing Wreybar’s brother (Almost positive it was Ticket Master) and the DM pulling her aside to discuss something in private. I’m typically the one who keeps track of the story so I hope Wreybar remembers this part well enough. If not, its our DM’s job to remind her anyways.))

Art, At the Fortune Teller (Koejin’s player: Of course you would go there!)

DM: You step in to see a robotic person who is a very racist stereotype. He’s dark skinned, wearing a turban, talking in a thick accent and saying, in a broken robotic voice “I aM a Raacis-t dePICtion! Wo-ould you like your FoRTune?!”

Art: Uhhhh, wow. This was not at all what I was expecting... Uh, is there a way out of here?

Fortune Teller: A W-ay OuT? Whaat evR do you Me-aaN?

Art:....Nevermind. Can you just... not do this? Turn into someone else.

Fortune Teller: Wh-o would you LYKe?

Art: Literally anyone else would be better.

Fortune Teller: (Turns into Alabaster) Bet-ter?

Art:... Yeah, I can work with this.

Fortune Teller Alabaster: S-oo... WouLD you lYKe your Fooort-une?

Art: Sure. Uh.... what’s my future look like?

Fortune Teller Alabaster: BLEAK!

Art: Sounds about right.

Fortune Teller Alabaster: (Morphs into Hennessy. All robotic jerking is gone.) Now, how about we talk about why you’re a piece of shit?

Art: ...And that sounds like something you’d say to me.

FT Hennessy: And it’s true; you are a piece of shit. My hubby says you abandoned your sister and I’m inclined to believe him over your lyin’ ass.

Art: Okay no. Hennessy’s the smartest one out of all of us. I know for a fact he has enough sense to not follow Vincent blindly and think I actually meant to abandon my sister.

(A Ticket Master portal appeared in the bar near Hennessy. He tunes in just in time to hear Art speak.)

Hennessy: .... (reaches through the portal and smacks the Fake Hennessy in the face. It melts away to reveal Ticket Master underneath.) You’re right, Art. I am the smartest person here. And I’m smart enough to know you have a lot of problems; abandonment is not one of ‘em.

Art: ...Alright. I guess.... you’re not so bad.

Ticket Master: (Hand on his cheek) Hennessy just slapped me.... what an honor! (Hearts appear around him)

Art, noticing this: Okay, that’s not at all concerning.... (Goes through the portal and into the bar with everyone else.)

Alabaster over by the Carousel (Everyone to the DM: You better not fucking hurt him, I swear to god. ((We are all a part of the Alabaster Protection Squad.)))

Alabaster: (Sees his family near one side, his old friend on another, and Eris (the daughter he recently adopted) on a third. Sidenote: Eris was his old friend’s and General Blue’s daughter. Blue left her to Alabaster, but we ended up killing her long before knowing about Eris.).... (Sits by his family being that he hasn’t seen them in 400 years)

Blue: So, you’re gonna completely ignore my daughter? Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted you with her. Maybe I should just kill her now and put her out of her misery now.

Alabaster: There is no need to resort to....

Blue: (Goes to Eris)

Alabaster: (immediately dives for Eris)

(Ticket Master Portal appears in the bar next to Theodora. She doesn’t see it until Wreybar points it out to her. This turns into a fight for everyone to keep Blue away from Alabaster and Eris, which everyone learned was just a heated water baby.)

Alabaster: (casts blindness on Blue)

Art: (Reaches in for Alabaster)

Alabaster, to Blue: You’re sight will return momentarily. And I promise you, Eris will be well taken care of. There is no need to worry.

DM: Alabaster, Art; you two look at each other and remember the first time you met, back in that pit where Thia saved you. You think about how much you’ve been through together and start to feel a little more at peace. Both of you roll a 20. If it turns out you somehow get the same number, your sanity will be at -20 (The scale goes from -20 to 20. Negatives are more sane.)

(Alabaster and Art rolled an 18 and a 17 respectively. The numbers were so close, the DM gave us both a point for sanity.)

DM: So, you guys are at the bar, having a grand old time. The bartender, for each of you, looks like you’re ideal sexual partner.

Koejin’s Player: (laugh) does that mean Art’s is just Ticket Master?

Me:..... yeaaahhhhhhh.....

DM, looks at Alabaster’s player knowingly: And what’s Alabaster’s?

Alabaster’s Player: A giraffe with Jeff Goldblum’s head.

Everyone: (laughing)

Me: Can anyone else see that? Cuz Art might be judging his best friend if he can.

DM: Nope, you can only see your own. But you guys are having a good time. Alabaster and Wreybar are understanding they both have a similar history and have been through a lot of the same issues. That starts to bring them closer. Hennessy and Art; you two now understand there is more to one another that you didn’t know before. You feel as though you’re coming to terms with one another. And, Theodora and Koejin. The two of you understand now that the past should be left in the past. There is a lot to work on, but you’re on the right track.

....(Personally, I think this would have been the perfect time for Ticket Master to send us back and let that be the end of the session. We were all closer than before and all that.... but the DM had a different plan.)

DM: The bartender shifts from your ideal partners to Ticket Master... So, he stays the same for Art.

Ticket Master: Well, now that you’re all closer, I’d say this is a time well spent. Now, here’s something you can do for me. (He slides a blank piece of paper in front of everyone.) When you’re ready, all you need to do is sign the bottom. No rush.

Art: (Sees the actual contract and decides to keep it to himself.)

Theodora: (Takes out a cigar that Ticket Master gave her and hands it back to him.) Here, so you’ll have a last smoke (she throws the contract back) when I kill you.

Ticket Master, frowning(A rare occurrence):... you shouldn’t have done that.

Me: Oh shit...

Koejin’s Player: Byyyeee Theodora....

Alabaster’s Player: (covering his mouth) nononono

Ticket Master: (his face opens up to reveal unspeakable horrors. Tentacles move out to grab for Theodora and drive her to complete insanity.)

Wreybar: (Moves in the way to share some of the insanity. Both are now insane, but Theodora is at least able to function.)

Alabaster: (Casts create or destroy water over them. I think the purpose was to get Ticket Master away from them. Don’t remember; was pretty drunk.)

DM: Oh god... shit! No...(Sigh) well, I need to follow my own rules... As the water comes down, you see a giant minotaur come from the ground behind Ticket Master. It’s Shmoogie. Ticket Master stops what he’s doing but, before he can say anything beyond “you don’t-”, Shmoogie grabs him and tears him apart. In Shmoogie’s hand, you see Ticket Master’s face. He’s saying “You have no idea what you’ve done!” Then, Shmoogie crushes it.

Shmoogie: You’ve all done well. We will deal with him now; no need to worry.

Skelly, at Shmoogie’s side: Yeah, we did good!

Theodora: Skelly! How do you know our buddy, Shmoogie?

Skelly: Well, I like sand. And I don’t have any memories, but would really like to have some so.... God of Sand and Memories.

(Shmoogie then disappears back into wherever he came from.)

Koejin: Well, good work team! No more Ticket Master.

Art, who isn’t the happiest about this turn of events:.... but now we’re stuck here.

Koejin: That sounds like a problem for Next week Koejin!

(And this is where we left off. I have conflicted feelings about this situation. Art is.... a little less conflicted than me....)

DM: Oh shit! I almost forgot!... you guys are sitting around, thinking about everything that just happened and, suddenly.... Art dabs.

Art:.... (hating his life and his creator)

Theodora: Art..... you’re so dated.....

(Context: Me and the DM are close. So close that we have a tendency to argue about anything and everything. This doesn’t work when I’m a player in his campaign. Which means, he decided that, inspired by a miniature I just bought, any time I say no to something DND related, Art has to dab. It’s a stupid little thing, but a thing nevertheless.)

#dnd #adventures of art the bard #dnd wizard #dnd bard #dnd tiefling #dnd cleric #dnd ranger #dnd barbarian #dnd paladin #dnd elf #dnd gnome #homebrew characters #can't wait to see how we fucked ourselves over here #Art's gonna drink his face off from everything we got going on #He's gonna wanna save Ticket Master #and he'll most likely be alone there #shut up jay

3 notes · View notes

insanetwocubes · 1 year

Text

four so sometimes I feel myself falling into black and white thinking with even individual people. Like they do one thing wrong and I basically completely forget that they ever did anything to help.

Mhm. I'm listening.

That's all.

And what do you think about that.

I think it's probably a cognitive distortion.

Mhm.

And also that. So because it's a cognitive distortion, it might be bringing me stress down the line.

Mhm. And where do you think that stress is going?

It's... probably making it out to feel like I have to do everything myself.

Ooh! Hey Flare that's a really good one!

And also it drives in the idea that people can't be trusted because they make one infraction.

*nods*

And. So. I guess they're not true.

And therefore?

Therefore?

Reword it for me.

Uhm. So I guess. I can still learn from the humans, even if they're not all perfect. And also that I don't have to do everything alone, that it's okay to stand on the shoulders of giants even if they are flawed. And that maybe people are just flawed. And it doesn't have to be the end of the world if they are?

Good rewording!

Thanks.

I feel like I'm still recovering from PTSD.

Flare, you have been in burnout for years and you barely just came out after we found a safe place. It's okay to still go through stuff.

Oh. I'm just. So many things that I thought were facts just aren't facts anymore. Like not everyone is bad. The people aren't gonna run me out. You don't have to fight tooth and nail for survival. And that lyke it's okay to be angry now?

*nods*

Lyke so much has changed!

I know.

It got better. And we're okay now. Finally. Finally we're okay.

Yeah.

We're okay.

Yeah.

We're finally okay.

Yeah.

It's scary. It's nice. I don't know. Thank you. I love you.

It wasn't all me.

You helped. I love you.

I'm part of you.

You're a genius.

You're not so bad yourself, One.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thank you.

Flare.

What?

Anything for you.

Anything for you! I'm indebted.

Don't be.

I love you.

Good.

I love you.

Good. Keep loving me. I like it.

I don't plan on stopping.

I don't plan on letting you.

Good. Don't let me. Let me die before I stop loving you.

I won't let you do that either lol

Good.

It's like we're in agreement.

We are.

I love you.

I love you more.

I'll let you.

I don't plan on stopping.

I don't plan on letting you.

I don't plan on being able.

I love you.

Sounds familiar.

Shut up.

Nope.

Good.

Keep talking.

Mmm... love you.

Love you, too.

Don't stop.

Sounds familiar.

You shut up.

No, you.

Shut up.

....

Not really.

I know lol I just don't have anything else to say lol

Okay. If...

Hm?

If you need to talk to me.

I'll talk to you.

Good. I like it.

I know.

It makes me happy.

You've said.

More than sex.

Really?

What, in comparison to talking? Fuck sex, man.

Okay, I'll never fuck you again.

You don't fuck me as is don't pretend!

Lol You'll get even less than.

In exchange for talks?

No.

Fuck you, then.

No, that one isn't happening.

Pussy.

Hey, it's not my fault you fucking melt lol

Shush! Geez!

Or what?

I don't know. What?

I don't know lol

Anyway lol Mwah. Love you, kitten.

Nope, that is not a thing.

Kitty-cat?

Nuh-uh.

Pussy.

Nope.

I guess I'll just call you, Flare.

You can call me anytime.

#things1said #things4said #dicerolls #txt #intersysconvos

0 notes

insanetwocubes · 2 years

Text

Hey. Flare. Let me show you something. Turn off that video.

Okay? Are we meditating?

No. We're not meditating. Listen.

...

Do you hear that buzzing?

I'm a little overwhelmed.

That's fine I know. Notice how the buzzing stops when you turn the video back on.

Okay?

All this buzzing is emotion. But you can probably tell.

Kind of.

So what I'm trying to point out to you is when you have to process things like words into meanings, you're bunching all this buzzing to the side to make room for your brain to work.

And I understand this was a survival tactic, but it keeps you from being aware of when to stop.

So how do I know when to stop?

I don't know. We'll figure that out later. For now, I want you to be aware of what the brain is doing.

Are you lyke telling me to stop or...?

Well, don't get me wrong, getting to the point of overwhelm is not good. It makes you feel the emotions more painfully. But I'm not mad or anything. I want you to notice.

So should I just pay attention to it before every time I watch something or...?

Well, that would be nice, but we're just noticing right now.

I don't get it. What am I supposed to do? This is bad, isn't it?

Flare. These are emotions. You don't /do/ anything.

I don't get it.

No. Listen. You're right, you're not getting it.

So you know how certain emotions have tells? Like depression makes it hard to do stuff and paranoia makes you see faces?

Buzzing is like a tell for any given emotion. Or a lot of them at once.

So you know, when you hear the buzzing, emotions must be happening.

So are they like bad emotions or...? Is it bad to hear buzzing or...?

Flare, no. Emotions aren't bad or good. They're like pain signals. They tell you something about your values. The buzzing is information.

Think of it like unprocessed information. Did you notice that buzzing that sometimes happens when someone gives you a lot of disjointed information and you don't quite know how to connect it?

It's like that.

You're getting a lot of information from the amygdala and you don't quite know how to connect it.

Is that good or bad?

So it depends on what happens after, right? If you don't process it and let it go on until you got to work, that's not great and it makes things painful. Your brain is processing multiple things at once. Like trying to read two things at the same time.

Hm.

But if you can realize there's buzzing going on, you can use that information to take better care of yourself.

That one! I like that one!

Good. I like that one, too.

Thanks for being patient with me. I know this is all obvious to you.

I don't mind. Let's just say I got handed good genes.

Can I repeat what you said? I know it's a little stupid, but I need a TLDR sometimes.

Sure.

So when I hear buzzing, it means there are emotions that need to processed.

Correct.

Sometimes I don't hear it when I'm trying to concentrate on something usually involving word processing.

Mhm.

Emotions aren't bad or good, but it's about what I do with them. If I take the time to process the emotions, I can learn ways to take care of myself. And if I don't, it makes them harder later on.

Yup.

That's it?

That's it.

Thanks again, Em.

Yeah.

#Things1said #Thingseysaid #dicerolls #txt #Intersysconvos

0 notes

insanetwocubes · 3 years

Text

Honestly since it’s 4 am and we’re being honest and leaving unhealthy coping behind.

I feel scared when people are nice. I feel indebted.

Do you feel that way around me?

You? Nice? Lol

(Seriously.)

I mean. You even notice there was something wrong about us showing love through teasing? It’s not us “just being quirky.”

(I did.)

Hm.

So what’s the difference between us. I mean I can hug you and we’re safe. But a stranger pretends to touch you and....

I “freak out.”

Yeah.

Hm. Interesting way to describe it as a difference. As if it’s not a whole other world.

....

Hm....

I mean I don’t know. I mean. You’re One. You’ve always been there. You usually don’t intend to hurt me. Not lyke things could hurt too much here anyway.

Is that it, you think? Because it’s here?

That’s what I thought....

Because even here....

Do you think it’s something else?

Not sure...

I mean you’re right. We’ve been together for a long time. So it would come naturally that given what position we took with each other (as moirails) a lot of trust is inherent to it.

Hm.

What’s the difference in feeling?

In feeling.... *thinks*

It’s sort of like. I’m allowed to be vulnerable around you.

(Obviously.)

Like I know that if I were to lean into you, you won’t make fun of me or think I’m weak.

You just love me, y’know? Lyke instead of “Oh this is sad” I hear “Four is wonderful Four.” Y’know?

Where does “this is sad” come from?

It’s what I would say to you to keep you from getting hurt when you used to open up to them.

Lol all those words.

I had to say it. We’re being honest right now.

Can you elaborate?

On what?

...Not sure.

You said I got hurt.

Yes.

(It hurt like a bitch.)

*Nods*

And then what happened? Walk me through it.

Well. Then we just didn’t show expressions.

Because they would always make fun of it.

(Ow fuck.)

Yeah.

They took as admission of forgiveness also. We took it as giving them something we didn’t feel they deserved.

Us taking control.

You could say that, yeah. More accurate than I realized.

But. As a being of power, it makes sense.

Surrendering felt weak. And it was supported by associations. Weak people got hurt. We got hurt. Therefore, “we were weak.”

...

I’m not weak around you. But I’m “weak” around them. I’m in danger around them.

*nods*

Y’know the other day it was really surprising.

I was in a conversation, right. And I kinda assumed this guy would lyke go all off on me. I don’t know why.

Alrght so friendships.

Uh huh.

You’re vulnerable around those.

....Maybe. I’m not friends with the nice ones, though. They’re at a comfortable level of neutrality.

I guess that’s why I take comfort in talking to abused kids. Abused adults are nice. And volatile, by extension.

Hm.

Abused kids still have enough shit together to be neutral. And don’t have the skill to be nice yet.

So I make them “indebted” to me, because I can be nice to the extent that they can’t.

But not to the point of touch.

I offer a hug if they need it. But it’s not about me, that’s the thing. So I’m not the one in danger.

Hm.

So where are we?

I guess it’s about control, right?

The niceness thing is about control. And the discomfort with giving it up.

At the risk of getting hurt and feeling guilty.

Would you say we see nice people as paragons. Something too good to fuck up.

Yes. Yes. That. Exactly.

So scared of smudging shit with our dirty abuse-ridden hands.

It’s... why do you think you’re dirty?

Because I’m not... clean. When I touch things, they become dirty. I leave behind blight, not solution.

Is it when we say depressing things?

Part of it.

Is it why we don’t like people who do that?

Yeah.

Isn’t it a cry for help?

Depends. When people help, it.... goes back to that nice thing.

Okay so you think you’re dirty.

*Nods*

Because when you cry for help...

*Nods*

You deflect the help.

*Nods*

Which makes you think you’re dirty.

*Nods*

Creating a cycle.

*Nods*

So.

That means that the discomfort with people helping and stuff. Is the crux here.

I would think so.

And you’re uncomfortable with nice people because they’re paragons?

Not in that moment, no.

I’m uncomfortable with nice people because they are paragons in general. Or. When that niceness is unsolicited.

When it is solicited, crying for help as you said, it’s not a fear of fucking them up more of a....

Hm.

More of a.....

Knowing that they can’t help? In a way?

Hm?

Is this off topic?

I don’t know.

Hm.

I mean long story short we are the only people that can really solve our own problems. We know this.

Why does that hurt?

Yeah, it hurts.

So if it hurts, something is wrong with it, right?

I don’t know.

It hurts. And I’m scared. I’m all alone and it hurts so much.

Okay maybe... I don’t know where to go with this.

I... yeah. Okay. Anyway. Information is information. There’s a weird loop here. I guess knowing that is enough for now.

~Four

#dicerolls #like if you read reblog if you want #txt #things4said #things1said #intersysconvos

0 notes

insanetwocubes · 4 years

Text

Wow. So you’re telling me it’s always gonna hurt and there’s nothing I can do about it because therapy doesn’t help. It’s always gonna hurt and you’re gonna hate me forever. Great. Love it. What’s even the point.

I thought it was.... I don’t know. Maybe if I become an actual person who’s proud of myself, it wouldn’t hurt and I won’t be so scared.

Okay these humans have got to have something wrong because I know this is manageable. Like you said with confidence, self esteem. That was my plan!

Look, they’re dumb and they’re stupid and it’s obvious they all collectively gave up on ADHD stuff.

Listen, Flare. Mark my words. I will die trying to get us to a thriving position. Trust me. Do you trust me?

Uhm. I don’t know.

Listen listen listen. I know how this shit works. I know how this (our psyche) works. I can do it. I promise you. I will get us, both of us onto a level so high, we won’t even remember the pain. I swear to you.

They’re stupid and dumb and obsessed with drugs.

I will make you solid from your fundamental core. I promise. I promise. I can do it. Trust me. I know how to do it.

Don’t lose hope on me. I need you.

Please let me do this for you. I promise, I’ll get us there.

It’s..... Okay. You’re smart and capable. You have done some pretty amazing things before.

I promise I’ll do it for us. I promise. Trust me.

We can do it. It’s fine.

What is it.... that you always say about pain?

It’s just a signal. And a pretty alarmist one at that lol.

Okay. I trust you. I think you understand it a lot better than I do.

These humans are kinda dumb nowadays haha

Lolol Yeah. Hey, thank you. I won’t stop trying I swear. I’ll get us there, I promise.

Random question. Are you scared of death?

Getting into a nihilist stage, are we?

Well. If your idea of god is in the image of your father.

Lol

And you cut him off.

What is even the extent of your range of knowledge? I mean all your experiences are broken down at that point. There are so many variables. Do you even know what’s true without conducting extensive research?

I guess you don’t actually know.

So you can’t even know if there is A correct thing to do.

Well it’s not lyke the universe is completely chaos. In some closed systems we can accurately predict things. Like if I drop this apple in this simulated gravity, it will fall. And it is that way because this simulated gravity is based on our experiences on Earth, we know that because many times (unless there is another force or large energy interference) when we dropped something, it fell. We don’t need to lyke do lyke mass-relativity bullshit to understand that things are expected to fall when you drop them.

Maybe you don’t know the exact cause of the things that happen around you, but you can map out an understanding of normal expectations.

You know enough to not have to find out all the information from something.

But then...how do you know what’s the right thing to do?

Well, you have to have a goal in mind, right? Or rather if one option creates problems for you in the long run then you know that choice wasn’t great.

But lyke how do I know if it’s the best option, even though it’s not good?

That’s where the experiments come in. You can’t calculate everything in this giant ass world.

But that entails doing the wrong option on purpose.

Yeah, it does. God doesn’t exist. What does it matter?

But that entails doing the wrong option on purpose.

Okay, why would an option be wrong?

Because it hurts you maybe for a long time.

Even good things hurt around here. How do you know it’s not the best option and that the hurt is unavoidable?

Well, if you do it one time. And shit hits the fan. You kinda don’t want to replicate the results.

How do you that the things that follow aren’t random?

Well, most of the time, you can kind of see lyke the other person’s point of view and see that what you said or did may have come off as insulting to them or something.

Would you say you’re accurate in predicting how any given person will react? I mean the part where something actually happens, not where you just imagine it happening.

Maybe....

How come... some people can go outside on a run and meanwhile you’re telling me if I do it, they’re gonna stare and laugh?

I..... wait.... hold on.

Remember when those boys came into the basketball court and you kept bringing up how they’re gonna start laughing at us any second? Remember when nothing like that happened?

Wait...

Four, look, I’m sick, I’m sorry.

Yes. You keep giving me bad information because our fucking brain is fucking crazy. You’re not good at understanding people. Your theories don’t match up at the ends. You’re just good at staying small and quiet and hoping no one is looking for easy prey.

Okay! Fine! I’m wrong. A lot. Jeez.

You don’t know if a given choice is the wrong choice because you’re too scared to find out.

You don’t know too much about the humans, Flare. That’s why you’re so scared of them and everything involving them. You don’t actually know, but you pretend you do so you never have to actually find out.

And then when you try to do something different and fail, you end up losing all your investments because you were so foolishly sure of yourself.

Okay okay I get it. I’m an idiot and I’m stupid and I don’t know anything. You know I would actually be fucking able to pay attention if they didn’t hurt me after literally every interaction lyke fuck, man.

Yeah, shit bites.

But I guess my next step is to deal with the fear so I can actually stop it from holding me back and be able to actually learn how people are.

~Flare

#dicerolls #like if you read reblog if you want #txt #things4said #things1said #intersysconvos

0 notes