#love this part but couldn't decide which one to do/how to do the mashup so there's two sets lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesunnyshow · 4 years

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Name: Mae Gi

Age: 23

Writing Blog URL(s): @mae-gi-writes & https://embed.wattpad.com/user/nutmeggu

What fandom(s) do you write for?

The Boyz, EXO, BTS, SVT, Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts

Nationality: Mauritian

Languages: French, English, Creole

Star Sign: Pisces

Favorite color: Mint!

Favorite food: Xiao Long Bao

Favorite movie: Patriot

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mint and chocolate chip!

Favorite animal: Definitely whales

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Coffee all the way!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Writer 😍

Go-to karaoke song: Breaking Free High School Musical

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

Flying

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

The 70's

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

I Would not. I believe that everything I've experienced was for a reason and I couldn't be happier where I am.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

100 chicken-sized horses because that would be cute af

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

I like to believe that I'd be a badass tough cookie

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

...sometimes.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I am bad at maintaining eye contact so I am always conscious of it.

When did you post your first piece?

I think it was in 2012 that I started my first story!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

Fluff and angst are my go-to's because they are the ones that I relate to the most. My writing comes from personal experiences, so there's a lot of fluff and angst involved.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

YUpp!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?

I just started posting without really taking it seriously to be honest. But when people started showing interest, it motivated me to write more and gave me confidence. I also made lots of wonderful writer friends which I am so grateful for!

What inspires you to write?

Life, people, relationships. Writing is also a way for me to process my thoughts of emotions, it's therapeutic.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Romcom and slice of life mainly. And my guilty pleasure is the best friend to lover AU.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

That it makes them laugh, have a good time, or cry in sympathy. I want my characters to reflect real people and I hope that my readers can relate and realize that they are not alone, no matter how tough life may seem sometimes.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

I stop writing and listen to music. It allows me to imagine scenarios without me actively writing them.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

My favourite work is definitely my first novel that I recently published on Amazon! It's sci-fi dystopian and is really close to my heart because every character is a piece of me stitched into them.

My most successful on Tumblr is Deobi Playlist series, which is a fanfiction mashup of the series Hospital Playlist x The Boyz. I think people find it really entertaining and light to read.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Kevin from The Boyz, Jungkook from BTS.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

There's a difference in terms that some elements are already crafts for you and you approach them in a different perspective. Original prose is completely made up by you.

What do you think makes a good story?

The storyline is important, but characters are definitely the most vital elements in telling a good story.

What is your writing process like?

Depending on the mood, I usually put on a playlist of slow songs and start writing whatever comes to mind on my laptop. Sometimes if I need to figure out a story, I use pen and paper to quickly outline the series of events. I also usually write better at night or early morning.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I actually already did! It was named as Entity and was a BTS fanfic that received so much love I decided to alter it into a real novel now called Terminal. It's available on AMAZON.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I am a sucker for Love Triangle tropes and Best Friends to Lovers tropes because, in my experience, they really do happen. I can't stand the "I'm not like other girls" trope, I just think it's overdone and is always portrayed as something that the protagonist needs.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

I definitely don't depend on feedback to write because I write for myself. But getting feedback and seeing people appreciate my work definitely motivates me to believe in myself as a writer. I would not have come this far without support.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

I just kept writing, even though it was shit, even though I was sometimes frustrated. No matter how bad it was, I always told myself that I was doing this for me and never listened to outsiders who didn't appreciate my craft.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Definitely! Just because we write fanfiction doesn't mean we're not writers. I know of so many AMAZING fanfic writers who are so much better than actual authors!

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Yes, art has always been involved to portray what can't be said. And that is the beauty of it.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Rather than "writing for others" I keep myself disciplined by writing everyday, no matter how bad it might be or how little i write.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

Yes, I don't really understand why writing as an art form is so underrated when it is so beautiful, but there is this misconception that writers, especially fanfic writers, are just thirsty fangirls who are obsessed with their biases. No, we are content creators, we write stories because we are artists and take so much time and effort to write these amazing stories.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

My boyfriend is the only one and he is really supportive.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

That I appreciate every single one of them for supporting my work, and that every comment, reblog or like just makes my heart feel so full with love. I also wish to tell them to keep dreaming, keep pushing and stay safe

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Be scared to start. Be scared because that means you're pushing yourself and that's okay. Fear is part of the process but you have to go through that to gain confidence in what you do. Throw yourself under the bus, because that's how it gets easier. And don't compare to other writers because like every artist, your story and your craft, your words and your voice will be different. So believe that you can, and you are worth it.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

NEVER.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

YES!! I'D LIKE TO THANK @pixelelf @choaticdeobi @moondustaeil @aveluant1a @atbzkingdom @thesingingfae1905 @2hyunjae @tbzhours @jenocakes ❤❤❤

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

There's no such thing as perfect writing, just like there's no such thing as perfect despair - Haruki Murakami

#@mae-gi-writes #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 14 #the boyz #exo #bts #svt #harry potter #fantastic beasts

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seacreek · 4 years

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I don't want to write anything where irl friends would see (no one is gonna see this here anyway) but I need to get this out of me.

Liiiikeeeee

I was (am?) literally the most suicidal I've ever been in my life today (is today over if it's 2 am?) and not only can I tell that to NO ONE, but it's like God was fucking rubbing it my face all day. I actually laughed at one point bc I was driving behind someone thinking of whether I should try to do it at home or somewhere else when I noticed their license plate said KYS and then a mashup of my birthday numbers.

But like I've already been feeling this building bc I'm behind on bills and have no heat and it's gonna snow soon and it's the holidays which remind me that my family is all spread out and I don't really talk to my parents anymore and somedays I talk to no one at all but my cat and my life is going NOWHERE with no way to change that but to work myself even harder when I don't even feel like I have anything at all to give anymore.

And I already felt like calling out bc even though I chose to work Thanksgiving yesterday knowing I'd be the only one there, it was still depressing to know that normal people are with friends and family and I'm not. But I also didn't want to take up my neighbors/friends on their offers to join them bc I did that last year and got all the questions about what I was doing with my life and at the time I actually believed I'd be going back to school the next year but now I realize how I can't possibly afford that without accepting help from someone which would BE my neighbors bc my parents would not help and I can't pay for it alone. And I can't accept help from them bc I feel like I would just get overwhelmed and depressed and flunk out and waste their money anyway. And the other reason I couldn't go over there/can't is bc I already feel like such a burden to them. They do all this nice stuff for me all the time and I catch myself even EXPECTING it at times which is fucking disgusting. Even if I'm grateful and say thank you, it's not like they owe me anything just bc I have no one else to give it to me. So I need to stop accepting their help and gifts, but then I know they are judging me for that bc even though their really nice, they are also super judgmental and they really like me bc they think I have "potential", but if they knew that I'm actually just a natural born idiot and failure, they'd never want to talk to me in the first place. And also it's unhealthy probably how much I rely on their validation bc since I've known them since I was little, I'm almost using them as surrogate parents which is also fucked up bc they are not my parents, they have their own kids who actually have their lives together unlike me who is just like a pet project of theirs.

Soooo anyway I already had all this on my mind and more going into work today and when I get there, I look at the schedule and realize everyone called out but me!!!!

And so I had to make a frankenstein schedule out of all of theirs to prioritize what needed to get done and was still trying to do little favors for people in between that I didn't want to disappoint bc it wasn't their fault that their staff wasn't there to do it with them and it was getting super overwhelming. And then I'm super sensitive so when I'd have to tell someone that I COULDN'T do something extra for them that they really were looking forward to, it was already punching me in the gut to see their disappointment. But then the worst part is that they don't fully get that I'm not just choosing to do that out of spite, but I legitimately had negative amounts of time to get everything done so they would blame me for what I couldn't do for them. EVEN THOUGH I WAS WORKING LIKE 4 SCHEDULES IN 1. Like they don't have the capacity to think past what's in front of them sometimes which I understand it's not their fault, but it SUCKS bc then they are pissed at me even though I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to do everything for everyone and keep them all happy and they should really be annoyed with my coworkers who didn't come in but I didn't even throw them under the bus bc it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I'm the person in front of them who is "refusing to do what they ask" so it's my fault.

So that's how my day is going everywhere I go as I rush from person to person and place to place, answering calls, improvising on the spot, and constantly having to tell someone that whatever they had planned on today isn't possible and dealing with the result of that. And the WHOLE TIME I am DAYDREAMING about how I'm gonna kill myself when I get home. Maybe slit my wrists, wait no my leg because I know I'll chicken out on the wrists, wait no, I'll drive out to the ocean and just swim out until I'm drowning too far out to save myself, wait no, what bridges could I jump from let me google that, wait no, I could take all of the pills at home together but then I might throw them up so wait no, maybe I'll drag this out and just not eat or drink til I just die nah that takes too long etc etc etc. And I'm really thinking this is gonna happen tonight bc I already wrote a letter monday or tuesday and I'm sure they'll find that pretty fast when they look in my journals so I don't even have to worry about that part, just the doing. So I'm contemplating my end of life and getting more anxious and sad with every hour passing bc I'm really thinking this is it, this is the day I'm out. But really I keep getting caught up bc my CAT who is sadly the one being on earth that I love who could never understand, is at home. And I'm thinking about how if I kill myself while she's there and it takes time for people to realize I'm missing/find me, she will be sad/hungry/thirsty in the meantime. Which is so unecessary and all of my suicide plans get scrapped if they involve direct trauma of another being and she's the one that means the most, so how could I be so selfish as to not make a plan for her?

So I'm thinking of how I have to sneak her to my sister's place while she's still at work and that's stressful enough but more so bc then I'll have a time limit on getting this done bc as soon as she comes home and sees kaiya there without me and no explanation, she'll start blowing up my phone and when I don't answer, she'll call someone. And I don't want to do that in a pressured state, I need time to process everything and think about life and what I'm doing. Plus, what if I decide not to??? (Which is what ended up happening for tonight anyway) I would've done all that for nothing and then had to confess when she found kaiya anyway and have to go to a psych ward or something which would just ruin my life faster but make it harder to get out.

So I'm thinking ALL this ALL day while working my ass off yet still disappointing everyone and swallowing tears that would turn into sobs every hour until it's time to go home.

Then I drive home and even though I pray to God to send me some sign that he cares, he doesn't.

At this point, I've already lost the fire under me so I know this is another night where I just get through it, cuddle kaiya, and wake up the next day to do it all over and I've accepted that in a way.

Then 1 am rolls around and my sister calls me to say she stopped by a party where she ran into my old best friend and friends from high school. None of whom cared enough about me to even ask what I was up to these days, even though they were talking to my SISTER. And that whole growing apart thing took such a toll on me mentally and I do feel like I'm over it now these days, but it still brought up these gross sad feelings of when I was first realizing that they didn't really care about me anymore and then fully understanding that I didn't matter to them. Which hurt SO MUCH bc they were a ride or die for me, like I would have done anything for them and I never even DOUBTED they didn't feel the same until it was so obvious I had to stop pretending around it. And that fucked with ALL of my relationships with people. Every single friend I had, I started pulling away from bc I was so insecure in myself that I felt like I had to get away from them before they had the chance to drop me which I now felt was inevitable. To this day, I feel like I have a body count of of people that I desperately want to talk to, but don't let myself bc I feel like they don't deserve to have to put up with a person as shitty and worthless as me. And I do that in every possible relationship I have, platonic, romantic, and even familial. And I can't blame them for that bc they were just a normal person growing apart from someone I guess, but I think it triggered something laying dormant in me so badly that it was actually the catalyst for my inability to connect with other people in meaningful ways. I never meet a new person anymore with the belief that they will be in my life for more than a few years at most. Most people I expect to be gone within a week or two. My walls are up so high that it's actually selfish that I even talk to people at all bc I only end up hurting them when I pull away for seemingly no reason at all. And I'm too much of a coward to tell them that there's nothing wrong with them, I just can't get that close to people anymore. Like it actually makes me physically sick to think of carrying on normal relationships with people which is SO fucked. But then I turn into the villain bc I'm worried that they'll develop the same fear of people and I'll be the cause of it. Like I'm a vampire. But I isolate myself and then get to a certain point where I think "I'll try again!! And this time will be different!! I'll really have someone new in my life!" And then I am super friendly and doing my best to be good and making plans and whatever. But then I start getting that sick feeling again, like what if what if they just haven't realized how much I suck and how disappointing I am yet, they'll definitely realize it soon and I come up with some random specific reason why they'd actually hate me if they knew "THIS" about me and I start detaching myself and then flake on plans and then disappear. And then spend weeks worrying myself sick that I permanently damaged their trust in people!!! But then I get lonely again and the pattern starts again!! All traced back to this moment in time where it actually hit me that people's affection for you can disappear in the blink of an eye no matter how much you thought they cared about you. So clearly love is conditional and just that thought alone is enough to make me want to end it all!!

So yea, just a shit day with shit cherries and cream on top.

And now it's 3am and I have to wake up in 5 hrs to do this again.

And all of this is still something no one will know if or until it comes spilling out and then my life will either be changed forever or over.

But yea, drew that lion the other day.

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