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janiedean · 3 years

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Is it bad that I really enjoyed reading the kinda fandom history/fanw*nk history posts abt j*nsa? XD Tbf I'm also a bit addicted to fanlore articles. XD Anyway I think in the tags of one post you mentioned j*imexs*nsa starting as an antijb thing? Would you mind elaborating on that? Sounds like an interesting, albeit bonkers, story, too.

dw I don't think it's bad I mean... we all enjoy catching up on wank we weren't part of (and my friends the things I could tell you abt spn fandom or when I was around at the sidelines for the worst rpf fic ever..) but anyway *deep breath* SURE THING LET'S SAY IT I mean....... it's not like it hasn't been years and I can talk abt it so whatevs, under the cut because reasons, also I'm saying now that a lot of this was what I deduced from circumstances and you've got to take my word for it unless someone who was around then remembers it and can confirm my impressions bc it was a lot less obvious than the j*nsa stuff

but going from the premises again:

I got a tumblr in like may 2011, read asoiaf june-july of that year, started being active on the tags around august-september 2011 so it was before S2 aired and 95% of the people that were bnfs/around then aren't on tumblr anymore/are here rarely these days so you've gotta take me at face value

in the main asoiaf bnf group there was this one jc shipper who like... I mean she's still active on twt and blocks everyone shipping jb on sight but good bc let's just say she's a piece of work not to mention that she spent months/years writing meta abt how jb was like fanfic stuff and had no book basis and how if you liked j but not c you were a misogynists which was wildly popular

I would like to add that person is basically... let's say everyone in jb fandom who ever got harassed knows exactly who I'm talking about and I'll leave it at that and was not for ship and let ship let's put it like that

so basically this person was on my dash bc I followed ppl who followed her and I saw a lot of jaimes*nsa stuff from her

in the sense that like... she was doing with it what I did with jonc/brynden back in the day when I was wanting to convince the world they were the crackship that was promised as in posting abt it/spamming it/discussing how it made canon sense/more canon sense than jb anyway and the likes, and like there was a fairly numerous amount of stuff for that ship back in the day - like before S2-3 aired jaimes*nsa had pretty high fic numbers/fanwork numbers considering that in canon they haven't interacted once

and that went hand in hand with keeping on trying to burn ground around jb before S2 aired/before they met in canon with that meta

and like... it's not like it started as an antijb thing in itself bc I'm sure that there must have been someone into it before the show aired same as there were ppl who as I was reminded lately wrote brienne/loras hatesex and so on, but the explosion which was during S1-3 (then it lost a bit of traction I think mostly bc jb exploded and sansa/tyrion happened on the show and the ppl involved kind of went more on twitter and didn't produce that much content anymore tho it still has numbers™) was also continuously fanned by person above + her followers who most likely were like... genuinely into it but again the antijb meta was around quite enough at the same time, so

also like... let's just say that back in the day I was the main t*robb ship contributor and I also wrote jb though less but jb was smaller as a fandom so I did post when the ao3 tag was at like... 30 fics or smth so I separately had my foot in both ponds and like until S3-S4 any t*robb fic where jb was the sideship would get tangentially less views/reviews than ones where they were not which in itself wouldn't be a problem bc obviously maybe ppl wouldn't ship one of them, but then there was this uuuh specific case

where someone who followed me for the t*robb who also followed her at some point asked me in private if a 22k t*robb fic that was the sequel to... my most famous/popular jb one let's put like that had a lot of jb in it because they were die hard jc people and it was triggering to them (which... I mean fair enough but in retrospective using that term instead of 'you know I really don't vibe with jb and I'd rather not read it' felt a bit like they were trying to guilt trip me ngl), I said that they showed up together in two scenes and were in the background and at most it was 1k worth of fic and the answer was that it was way too much so they were going to have to skip and like again their prerogative but idk that conversation kind of left me like is this some kind of roundabout way to say that it'd be better if I didn't sideship them? idk but until S3-4 I had the distinct feeling that at least for my own stuff having both ships together meant less readers and ngl I didn't update the infamous t*robb wip fic for a year because I was planning to make jb fairly prominent as a sideship there and I was there like 'oh god what if I get wank over it' and I didn't but again I would like to state it wasn't just because of one person, it was... the general atmosphere that seemed unfriendly unless you stayed on the jb tag/kept both separate

and I would like to add that the moment S3 happened and it sailed anyway bc it was going to was when the targeted harassing of anyone who was active on the tag started ssssso :|

basically like... I have a lot less evidence to go on re ^^^^ than the j*nsa stuff because that is well-documented the rest is my very humble opinion about the background of when j*aimesansa started getting popular but like it also was v. prominent in between jc people (same with the jcsansa threesomes) who were also following that person - I would like to also add that a bunch of ppl who shipped both were absolutely lovely and nice to interact with in other situations and not harassing anyone about it and again nothing against ppl into it as a thing but the moment of its peak was in conjuncture to the burning ground around jb moment driven by that specific person so *shrug*

#1 #2 #4 #5 #3 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jaime x sansa #anti jaime x sansa #anti jaime x cersei #anti-jaime x cersei #anti-cersei lannister #anti cersei lannister #again it's me going with what i recall but i'm p. sure some ppl who were around then can corroborate #*in jb fandom i mean

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arthur-rex · 3 years

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TAGS for this post

#i adore this!!#the colours!!!! go green team!!!!!#i love how you formatted this: two influences on the core four that in the end they ultimately have to choose between #merlin's is interesting though because even though he becomes a slave to destiny he never forgets his mum #(although we DESERVED more s4-5 hunith content) #maybe after camlann merlin was finally able to find peace... it's unlikely but we can always hope #green team 😎💚💚

@oswinsdolma ...aww Ellie. Come here. Let me hug you.

Yes, now then. Your tags are precisely what I’m talking about with that piece. The choices we make between advice given and how WE CHOOSE to act upon it are critical.

But we must get into the habit of accepting responsibility for our actions.

Many people in this fandom (I have noticed) are choosing to hate on certain characters as if to absolve their favourite characters of blame for their actions. Errr, no. It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid. Merlin, Arthur and co. when they fuck up THEY fuck up THEMSELVES.

It’s actually damaging to externalise that frustration and place it onto the Dragon or to Uther (he’s a messed up human being but he’s not the Devil people), or to blame anyone else for the decisions our favourite characters choose to make for themselves. It’s not the mature approach.

And c’mon, let’s be honest with ourselves. The reason why we are all attached to certain characters is because they remind us subconsciously of real people (or wanted people) in our lives. There, I’ve said. We’re all doing it. Subconsciously for some, actively for others. My people of fixation are Merlin, Gwen and Morgana for entirely different reasons. I RP as Arthur because my life most resembles his minus a crown he is the one that interacts with these three the most, and in the most meaningful ways.

Now. your points. Yes, Merlin needed more time with Hunith. He definitely did, and I think the majority of the Merlin fandom from what I can make out (self-made confident young women / maybe single mothers?) needed to and would have appreciated more Hunith time too as well.

Yes, Merlin became a slave to Destiny... but Destiny does in this case, (in my hc at least) have an answer to all of this. I am writing Avalon fic this evening. I am going to have Arthur rise again as the Prophets foretold. There is no point in writing/continuing Arthur’s journey post-Camlann if I’m going to be brutally honest, unless we do this. Just to repeat the canon verse model again in another modern verse (or verses) without an endgame is just... well. It’s not daring to be different and brave and new. It’s not the story I want to write anyway.

Good luck to other Arthur writers if that is the case. I sincerely mean that; if you get closure by having the same thing happening to Merthur again that’s fine and valid. But there is another way. It’s traumatic and transforming and full of angst like you would expect from those two, but it has hope and a bit of comedy thrown in there to balance the tone out. And I’m sure when I get on ao3 I will spot other writers who will have done a similar idea to this too (but I haven’t started consuming any fanfic really yet)

Anyway, this is just wordy old writer me here, keeping positive despite the increased amounts of hate I’m seeing on my dash (you have a problem with the Beatles, really? They were singing about unconditional love, the authorities shot John Lennon dead because he was urging for peace over war, he married a POC woman and gave her agency you gonna hate on a man like that??? What the-)

Anyway. Remember to still be kind to the people who hate you. It’s the hardest thing to do, but actually, hateful people cannot stand being met with people who are not mean and spiteful back. It exposes them as bullies. I’m talking about my RL family who hate me, relaaax Tumblr followers and friends.

Take care all.

#OOC #//just putting in some gifs because #//I do that #//thank you for listening to my Ted Talk

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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March 15: Thoughts on Fandom

Not feeling too well this evening but hopefully a good night's sleep will make me feel better and tomorrow will be low key and chill. And my hot water will be fixed successfully.

I was thinking today about how I've felt for a long time that I'm 'between fandoms' even though technically, literally, I'm not. I continue to write and read for The 100 but I don't entirely feel like I'm in the fandom. Sometimes I think I should just leave officially, but then I think--but to go where? And "Star Trek" seems both an obvious and an incorrect answer. It's like I'm not truly invested anywhere, but in a sort of limbo-like space.

Anyway, so I broke it down like this.

I want 3 three things from "fandom," broadly speaking:

1. To engage with media that I really love.

Examples: waiting for new installments (for ongoing media); rewatching or rereading; obsessing over how great the characters or stories are, dissecting plot lines and themes.

2. To engage with a fan community that also loves the media I love.

Examples: reading fanfiction; reading meta; engaging in online discussions; reading other people's excited posts; following blogs relating to the media in question; reblogging gifsets/graphics/fan art

3. To engage creatively with the source material through transformative works.

Example: writing fanfiction.

Ideally, I'd have one piece of media that fulfills all of these purposes. That was T100 for me for a while. But then I stopped watching the show in late S4, and got farther and farther away from the 'current' fandom. And then the show ended, and on such a sour note, so that the fandom itself, the fan community, started changing. And at the same time, I started getting seriously back into Star Trek again.

So now I'm in this place, where I'm still at least kind of engaged in all three aspects of the fandom experience, but not in a unified way.

Star Trek is fulfilling the first purpose of fandom for me, right now. I'm loving rewatching TOS, and the AOS movies too, and I just have a lot of Emotions about the characters and universe. It's that good kinda excitement that a show (or book or movie or whatever) that you really love always gives. Like--ahh!!! I cannot feel anything else but just happiness because I love this so much!

BUT I'm not engaging with ST in either the second or third sense of fandom. I follow a couple ST blogs but there aren't many truly active TOS/AOS centric blogs out there right now. I don't read any ST fanfic because, well, first of all I never really did, and second, I'm far enough behind on my T100 fic! And I have rl people like my mom and B to talk about it with, but not really anyone on tumblr or wherever who's into it like I am.

And though I've vaguely plotted and poked at some fic ideas, I haven't done any real ST writing in a long time--again because I have ideas for T100 that I need/want to get to first, and I'm not writing so much anyway now in general.

On the other hand, T100 is definitely NOT fulfilling function (1) for me and hasn't in a long time. When I stopped watching the show, I still engaged with the canon a little. I watched other people get excited or debate or discuss. I noticed the patterns of fandom as the show went into and out of hiatus. Plus, I still enjoyed the early seasons and liked early-canon and canon-divergent fics (reading and planning/writing). But even that is largely fading for me. I've been trying to rewatch the show but it's not really doing anything for me... I have a hard time getting into it. The canon-divergent fics I'm writing for the collab are not interesting me in the least, either.

I realized today that most of my fic ideas, or at least most of the fic ideas I really care about in any way, are so far removed from the canon they might as well be original fiction with some familiar names thrown in. The one exception is the Ark AU, but everything else is some form of extreme AU, modern or otherwise. I don't even know that the characters make me feel much of anything anymore. I've been toying with how to explain this for a while but... I feel like both for me personally and the fandom as I perceive it, the characters are more like a shared vocabulary, rather than actual characters from a source material we all love. I think this is partially because the fandom is old enough now to have some very long standing shared headcanons, and either small enough or bifurcated enough for fanwork creators to influence each other more than the canon influences them, and partly because the show ending on a sour note for most viewers has left the people who remain in the fandom with a sense that these characters are OURS and that the value of them is in how we collectively decide to use them now, rather than in how they are tied to the universally derided source material.

I'm not saying any of this is BAD, I'm just saying, that's how it is now, from my perspective.

I'm sort of engaging with the fan community (2) through T100, but... it's a little weird. I have people I legitimately like and enjoy talking to on tumblr who I know through T100 and of course there are events like Troped that I really love. I have a ton of cool fic bookmarked too and I'm getting back into reading it. But my dash has a lot less T100 content than it used to and sometimes I'll find myself j-ing very fast through it because I'm just not in the mood. I know a lot of people are either semi-disengaging, like I am, or wholesale moving on to other things. So it's like... the community straggles on, but it's uncertain at best.

And as far as engaging creatively (3)--to the extent that I write or plan fic it's almost all T100. But I haven't... I haven't been finding it easy to write. In general. This is a little hard to explain but.. when I think "I need to leave T100 fandom and really force myself to go somewhere else" it's usually because I feel like I'm not really getting what I need creatively out of the fandom. I like a lot of my wips and unstarted ideas, in theory at least, but the closer I look at some of them the more... herculean the task of actually writing them starts to seem. And tbh I rarely just... tell myself little stories about these characters or within these potential-fic scenarios. Like in all my idle, free thought time--when I'm washing dishes or taking a walk or a shower or going to sleep, when I want to think about something nice and fictional and not let the worries in... when I'm really engaged with a fandom, I'll imagine little scenes and tell myself little stories during these times. Sometimes they're scenes I want to eventually make into or include in a fic. Other times they're not. But they're still an extension of my creative life.

And I haven't really done that for T100 in a while. Sometimes I imagine Star Trek scenarios. Sometimes I retreat into highly silly comfort scenarios with original characters. But I only think about T100 when I specifically need to brainstorm for a fic. And that makes the fic feel more like work. And that makes me want to do it less.

So... I'm not sure what that will mean for me getting back into my projects when I finally (FINALLY) finish the last of my obligations. Maybe when I feel like I can actually make progress on old wips or ideas I care about, I'll get more invested in them. I was pretty damn invested in Mountain Lion Mean and that wasn't that long ago, so it is still possible. But overall, T100 definitely doesn't have, and probably never will have again, a total monopoly on my brain the way it did c.2016.

Which is fine. Like... it's more than fine. I've been here a while. What I'm trying to articulate to myself with all this is that the dissatisfaction I feel with my fandom life is probably stemming from the lack of one, coherent obsession. I have stuff to read, stuff to write, stuff to think about, stuff to talk about, and even a small fandom community of people I like--so what's the problem, right?? It's because it's not all coming from the same piece of media and that's not as clear and coherent and nice for me.

Plus, it makes writing more difficult when I do want to write these particular ideas, but I'm only motivated by own desire to see the ideas realized, not my genuine love for the characters and the material from which they derive. There's a certain energy that fannish activity has... but T100 fic barely feels like a fannish activity to me rn. Just another type of work. It's a work I'm invested in...but I just so often don't have it in me to WORK at all, is the thing.

So that's the biggest annoyance about it. I haven't really experienced this before so even though this situation has been forming for a while, I still don't really know what to do with it.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #honestly i'm really proud of myself for articulating all of this #fandom

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justlikeeddie · 5 years

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black sails fic recs

I have got and continue to get so much enjoyment out of Black Sails and its fandom! It's so nice that this anniversary week of posts has made me realise it is two years since my dash was abruptly filled with people having full breakdowns over the S4 finale, and I was like, “man, I don’t know why this field of corn or whatever is so important, but I guess I should watch this show and find out”. And I did. AND IT WAS.

I don’t know how to make gifsets bcos I am an idiot, but luckily for this fan content Friday thing I CAN post a non-exhaustive list of fics in this fandom that I am absolutely obsessed with. You’re welcome!!!

Unaccommodated Man, The Peaceable Kingdom, and Congress by kvikindi / @septembriseur

James/Thomas, post-series

James looks at him, searching, and Thomas fears he will recognise that Thomas is not really Thomas, not quite Thomas, not the Thomas he had been, and so he says, “I have gone a little mad in this world without you, but now that you are here—” And James makes a sound, a sobbing, laughing sound, and crushes Thomas to him once more.

Like...obvs. This is one of the best series of stories I have read in any fandom, or, actually, that I have read in any context. Both on a macro level - with unbelievable fluency, this series encompasses trauma, recovery, intimacy, forgiveness, literature, the conception of madness, agriculture, 18th-century Native American tribal language, etc, etc - and a micro level, in which not a single word is wasted, and not a single sentence is unworthy of being read three or four times. Anyway. I have re-read all of these stories multiple times and Congress more times than I would admit to if I actually knew.

consider them both, the sea and the land by youremyqueen / @deathnoting

Flint/Silver, post-S3

Flint frowns, stiff and unbending, and leans down just a tad so that he is looking John directly in his eyes. If he’s uncomfortable with their proximity, he doesn’t let it show.

“Remember when you told me,” he grits slowly, each word weighted with emphasis, “that you had discovered the pleasure of being both loved and feared? Is that what you would like from me? It is not enough that you have earned my respect, my friendship. You would now like for me to be frightened of you as well?” His nostrils flare, his rage is quiet. “I am not one of your men.”

John can feel the words on his face and he bears them without flinching, says only, “And I am not one of yours.”

Flint’s brow twitches, and he moves a hair closer, disgustingly close, warm and sour with the smell of whiskey, a solid and immovable blockade between John and what he wants. And he says to him, of all the unbearable things, “Isn’t that exactly what you are?”

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIC THAT CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT FLINT/SILVER. For like three whole series I just didn’t Get It. And then I read this and was like.....oh.....I Get It. It’s a weapon. Their attraction to each other is a weapon. And sometimes they like using it and sometimes they don’t. And I have never, my friends, looked back

and into what it will be changed by @sea-changed

James/Thomas/Miranda, pre-series

"The Hartfords left for the country last week," Miranda says; "they've merely invited us to view the painting. They cannot resist showing off, even in absentia." She and Thomas share a look, smirking at each other as if sharing an old joke. Then she looks back at James, and her mouth quirks up at him. "So you needn't worry about their judgement."

James considers protesting that that wasn't, exactly, what he was worried about, though upon second thought he wonders if it truly wasn't. "That's very kind," he says, hesitating.

"Is it?" Miranda asks, almost absently. "We do not invite you along as a kindness, Lieutenant; I believe I speak for both Thomas and I when I say we rather enjoy your company."

James feels his face heat, not unpleasantly, and he looks down at the carpet. Miranda is usually soft and kind, but occasionally she does this, speaks plain and pointed. She and Thomas both do this, push and keep pushing: Thomas seems to do so with curiosity, prodding until he finds something interesting, but Miranda does it as if she had already found the spot she wishes to target, and goes after it relentlessly. James thinks suddenly, and unexpectedly, that she would not make a bad Naval commander.

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FIC THAT CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT JAMES/THOMAS/MIRANDA. I used to be weirdly militant in the belief that James’s affairs with the Hamiltons only made sense if they were two separate affairs that didn’t even really overlap. And then I read this and was like....right okay....if they DID have a threesome it would have been like this

There’s Plenty of Men to Die by @autoeuphoric

Flint/Silver, post-S3

The five of them share a glance, passing it around the table, man to man. Flint’s mouth twitches and Madi laughs shortly. “I would wager every man here fancies themselves in charge. This is a meeting of chieftains. I say let it remain so.”

“Although…” Silver says slowly, pulling the others’ attention on to him. Flint’s eyes flick his way, and to his horror he realizes he has nothing else to say. No point, no segue, no plan for a redirection of the conversation. He had simply wanted Flint to look at him. A fierce longing for the days when it was just the two of them fills him, laying their plans together, even though the threat of sudden and nonnegotiable execution was much higher. But he knew where he stood. Here, there are complications. Confusions.

This is just a tiny little snatch of a scene but every beat of it is perfect! Silver navigating his obsession with Flint, in the midst of everybody navigating their new relationships with each other in the new fragile and tentative anti-colonial alliance.

a question of needs (and not rosary beads) by @seventymilestobabylon

James/Thomas, pre-series

Still: James wants to talk. If Thomas means this to be—what it is, what it clearly is, then he should have the fucking decency to say something about it. He also, and intensely, wants the whole business to be transacted without any conversation, but he knows better than to hope for that. Thomas is not capable of it, that implicit understanding. Even when he kissed James—

Thomas’s thumb very light at the hinge of his jaw. He felt a thrill like fear, when it happened.

Even then, Thomas said, “All right?” when it was over, and would have said more, except that James nodded mutely, minutely, and stammered something incoherent that required his presence elsewhere. Thomas and Miranda both looked hideously understanding about it, and James considered—as he walked home through ill-lit streets and inhaled familiar smells of smoke and fish and tar and shit—simply climbing aboard one of the ships in harbor and never returning to London.

This is one of the few pre-series fics I’ve read that really digs into James and Thomas’s incompatibilities and differences and misunderstandings - and sets them against how badly they want each other, and want to understand each other, nonetheless. Don’t get me wrong, obviously 1705 is The Only Time James McGraw Was Ever Allowed To Be Happy (tm), and I’m extremely into reading about him and Thomas making each other happy! But also - it’s so interesting to explore James being so frightened of how he feels about Thomas that he can be unkind to him, and Thomas being so immersed in how he feels about James that he can be complacent and sometimes a little thoughtless about it. And this pulls all of those things apart so well.

you and i survived by youremyqueen / @deathnoting

Anne/Jack, Vane/Jack, pre-series

“She’s not mine. That isn’t—we aren’t—I mean to say, do you actually understand what love is, Captain?”

“Love is possession,” Vane tells him, with his usual unselfconscious melodrama. “Not only of women by men, but of men by women. The point of owning a woman is to see to it that she doesn’t own you.” He speaks as if he’s explaining some very basic and widely known conceit.

Jack winces. “What a viciously horrible perception.”

Vane rolls his eyes. “Christ’s sake. Don’t you ever get tired of acting like a fucking woman?”

“Don’t you ever get tired of acting like a fucking man?”

And couldn’t they unpack that remark for days?

The extremely funny author’s note “if someone had told me two months ago that i would write a fic that featured charles ‘only straight person in nassau’ vane as a main character, i would not have believed them” is also a summary of how I feel about this fic. WHO KNEW that on top of every other fucking thing I have to care about in this fandom, I also care a LOT about Jack and Anne and Charles fuckin Vane! A principled, terrifying, Aslan-transfigured-into-a-human nightmare of a man! This fic is so excellent and does such justice to all of them. Their triumvirate gets kind of supplanted by the Max-Anne-Jack situation from S2 onwards, and I always forget how nuanced and odd and interesting this three-way dynamic is when we first meet them. This story does such a good job at trying to explain what the fuck that dynamic is.

Katabasis by unheroics

James/Thomas, pre-series, canon-divergent AU

There were Flint’s men, one leaving the cabin, another ransacking a chest for treasures, another still turning to speak to Randall; the words exchanged escaped Flint, as all else did, once his gaze fell to the Englishman.

He knelt barefoot on the deck, and wore the undyed, colourless linen of prison or asylum garments. For a precarious second Flint could only think that his hands had had nary a mark upon them, five years ago, and now were as scarred as those of a gamekeeper or veneur. He looked nothing like the man whose presence haunted Flint’s dreams, always at the corner of the vision, always cold to the touch and bleeding from the eyes and mouth.

In all his careful planning, and all his mirthless revenge, Flint had never thought to anticipate a variable in place of a set value. The presence of other men about was like an anchor at his feet, dragging him underwater, but it was Alfred Hamilton’s blood on his hands that kept him immobile.

“Will you kill me?” said Thomas Hamilton, in a voice harsh from paregoric. His tone had a note of morbid, queer hope. “I could pay.”

To spare you, or kill you? It was excruciating to wonder.

One of the very first James/Thomas fics I read! And certainly one of the first fics I read that started to probe and pull apart the McGraw-Flint dichotomy, by literally dropping Thomas right in the middle of it. And while the actual end of S4 is, obviously, the greatest and most narratively and emotionally satisfying thing that has ever happened on television, and you can quote me on that - one thing we do never get in canon is Thomas in Nassau, and I love getting to read that here.

#bsaaw #black sails #fic #flinthamilton #silverflint #one million emotions about one million different characters #did you mean: black sails

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dannystattoo · 7 years

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So I’ve been meaning to make a post about my feelings on Jen (and Jared, Ginny, Josh, Bex, and Emilie...but mostly Jen) leaving the show, season 7, and what may as well be the end of OUAT/CS...or at least OUAT as we know and love it, this entire week, but I’m finally just getting around to it

I feel like before the cut, it must be said that I 100% support all the cast, both those leaving and those staying, in their decisions and future endeavors. Did I cry a little when I found out JMo was leaving? Abso-fucking-lutely, but you can sure as hell bet I respect her decision and will continue to follow her career.

As for my future involvement in the fandom YOU BETTER BELIEVE I’M STICKING AROUND. I definitely want to continue reading/writing fics and enjoy all the other amazing content this fandom makes, and I want to stay in touch with all the incredible CS shippers I’ve met here. Regarding S7, I’m going to at least give it a shot if only because Colin is staying. Also,I’m hella intrigued by the developments of the series season finale. I’m just going to look at S7 as a spin-off, as opposed to a continuation of the same show, especially since the S6 finale would have been the perfect series finale.

I’m not sure who will actually read the lengthy post below, but I can’t let this moment pass without reminiscing just how amazing my experience with the CS fandom has been...and now for some happy memories!!

I started shipping CS just at the end of S2, summer of 2013. At the time, I was having kind of a shitty summer, seeing as I was fully anticipating that I would be doing the Disney College Program and moving to Orlando once school ended. Plans changed, my best friend went and I didn’t, and I was just not in the best place during that time. At one point, I started chatting with a couple other OUAT blogs about shipping and fell headfirst into this fandom.

I remember the excitement of SDCC 2013 - obviously I enjoy every SDCC, but I don’t think anything can quite compare to the hype and excitement of that year, at least for me. I remember all the new people I met in this fandom, hardcore fangirling about each tiny development we found in SDCC news. The Captain Swan fandom and SDCC honestly pulled me out of a huge slump that year and needless to say, I’m so happy this ship came into my life. Suddenly, I had things to get excited over again.

I remember S3, which I think was honestly the peak time to be in the Captain Swan fandom....yes, perhaps even more so than during wedding/engagement time. The episodes in that season were quality af and it felt like every episode we were getting some kind of CS development...”until I met you”, “when i win your heart and I will win it”, the coconuts, and so many other moments that I remember excitedly discussing with the fandom. And then of course, THE KISS HAPPENED and the fandom lost its collective shit and I have the absolute best memories of sharing that original kiss image far and wide on this godforsaken website. Then the first video popped up during the middle of a two hour lecture and I recall rushing out afterwards to grab a seat in the lobby of building my class was in, just so I could watch the CS kiss on my computer before heading home. I also remember texting my roommate about the kiss video being posted but not being able to watch it and her asking how I was alive and HOW WASN’T I WATCHING IT, and me telling her that I honestly didn’t know and finally her promising to watch the Kiss with me when I got home, even though she never watched OUAT and her only knowledge of it was through me.

I remember ACTUALLY WATCHING THE KISS and being so full of feelings after that episode I couldn’t sleep, so I went down to the gym in my apartment at 1 in the morning to run off all my feelings about Captain Swan.

I remember my weekly liveblogging, back when I used to be around to watch the show live every night, and all the fun I had interacting with fellow CSers. I looked forward to that every damn week and I’m still a little sad I never really got back into it after S3.

I remember moving to Disney and meeting my best friend because a Once related Facebook post and numerous discussions about Captain Swan = of course, we fangirled together from season 3B on!

I remember the couple years I did Captain Swan Secret Santa and Valentine’s Day, some of the most fun things I’ve ever done and it brought more new friends. I’m hoping that we don’t stop this tradition just because the show is essentially over as we know it because I love the massive amounts of amazing fan art and fics that come about because of it.

I remember the one season (S4) I was able to consistently join the Captain Swan Net chat and how much fun I had every week, freaking out about all our babies’ precious moments. I especially loved fangirling with all of you because the other group chat I was in during OUAT was with all my Disney friends who didn’t like Emma for some reason and didn’t ship Captain Swan how I did and I really needed like-minded people to flail with.

After S4, my participation in the fandom really dwindled. Once I moved to Florida permanently, the theme park life didn’t allow me to be home on Sunday nights...plus the fandom just didn’t seem as active as a whole. However, I do remember the S5 finale, knowing I’d be working at Magic Kingdom til well after the episode ended. When I went on break that night, right before 9, I decided to go to a different breakroom than usual because I wanted a vending machine and the Tomorrowland breakroom didn’t have one. Well, as luck would have it, I went to the right breakroom at JUST THE RIGHT TIME and Once was already turned on on their TV. I was able to watch Hook and Emma reunited after his funeral and it took everything I had not to start crying like a baby in front of tons of strangers and WHAT A HAPPY COINCIDENCE THAT I HAD NO FOOD AT HOME BECAUSE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF MOVING.

And of course, the wedding - the amazing fairytale ending we’ve been dreaming about for CS since S2.

I could go on, but I won’t since this post is a damn novel already. Captain Swan, thank you for bringing so many amazing memories and wonderful people into my life. I truly hope this fandom doesn’t die just because the show is taking a different direction and in a way, we essentially got our series finale last night. Finally, a HUGE THANK YOU to anyone who’s ever fangirled with me about this ship, as well as all the wonderful content creators who put out some of the best fics, gif sets, videos, manips, etc, that I think any fandom’s ever seen. Whether you’re still active in the fandom or you’re one of those URLs I haven’t seen cross my dash in ages, thanks for flailing along with me.

If you’re no longer watching after last night, thanks for 5 seasons of Captain Swan and I hope to continue to see those familiar URLs around my dash! If you’re continuing to watch along to S7, I’m excited to see what this show will bring us next! <3 I love you guys!

#captain swan #sam for ts #once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #colin o'donoghue #jennifer morrison #ouat finale #ouat #captainswannet

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