Episode 1 -> Episode 11

a look back at 2020...

So...2020. It was a lot. COVID-19 hit and the year pretty much went downhill from there -- for the world. There were some ups, too, but it was a year of the pandemic, a civil rights movement (that we’re still having to explain and justify to a demographic in the US), dethroning a would-be dictator, an almost insurrection/coup, hate crimes, and more. It hasn’t really stopped in 2021, either.

On a personal front, 2020 was a lot growth. Forced growth (a privelege I acknowledge having spent much of it solo). Coming out of 2019 and into 2020, I was actually in therapy following a surprise (but maybe not to some) breakup. I focused on myself  – on what I want, what I deserve, what I can offer. I began virtual dating. I found an unexpected love. A love that grew and was built on honest, open communication, respect, and affection. Does it have its issues? FOR SURE. But it was (and has been) a relationship that taught me what it was like when two people want it to work out – when both people put in effort. When both people share and reciprocate. It was eye-opening. 

2020 also made me confront some things about myself. My own privelege as an Asian American woman, but also the vulnerabilities of that identity. I grew in my career as an individual contributor – learned the importance of observation. So, in the spirit of the past years to look at my goals and how I compared, let’s get to it:

1. Take more ownership in thought leadership and expertise among my team Done! I am now spanning several teams as a go-to resource to understand the ecosystem of our product

2. Read and listen more – less video/screen time (that’s gonna be hard); music, audio books, books, mags, etc. Ehhhh, so, this didn’t really happen. It happened a little when I began tackling some building and redesign projects at my parents’ house as well as my apartment.

3. Continue making! Sew, pottery classes (coming up), build stuff... Yes, kinda! During 2020 I made A LOT of face masks. I challenged myself with a button-up shirt, and several lounge-y robes. I built a pull-out pantry for the kitchen, and I did a small room makeover at my parents’ that included new paint, board & batten accent wall, new light fixtures, and some shelving! (and plants. reused a lot of the furniture in a new layout, and took some old furniture out).

4. Cook more YUP. definitely did this as I was home for quarantine. I also ordered in a lot, but after a recent home purchase (yet to move or close), the cooking will be going up A LOT more

5. Keep volunteering or saying yes to freelance – this is satisfying my need to be more visual without the constraints of my day-to-day Nope. But I’m also okay with that. I am satisfying my making and visuals with hands-on projects.

6. Keep going outside – travel, trying new activities (or revisit ones I stopped), stay open to other living arrangements Kind of. I haven’t traveled really, because...2020. I did venture to Mexico with the love (I mentioned earlier) and did a road trip to Austin for #vanlife.

7. Keep investing – both financially and personally. Develop my relationships among family, friends, and friend+ (😂) more; save and invest for a myriad of goals (eventual 🤞homeownership), travel (and maybe entrepreneurship/small business dreams) YES. I bought a fucking home. by myself. I feel all sorts of empowered single lady right now. And I am trying to keep in touch with friends and family more (pandemic zooms!)

What are some new habits? Okay, 2021:

1. Keep saving & investing (financially & personally). After this purchase I need to replenish some savings but also want to be in a position to invest for the future – for that possible small business dream. I want to develop out my friendships more and feel more connected to the people I care about.

2. Read and listen more. Putting this back on the list.

3. Love more. I love my guy, but we both know it’s not a situation that will last. When people talk about needing more than love, know that it’s true. Timing is also an important aspect – readiness. But this relationship has been teaching me about vulnerability and trust: giving these things to someone who earns that trust and giving them the chance to show up for you. And learning how to really show up for them. This extends to loving and expressing that love to my family and friends more. Showing that appreciation.

4. Go outside, move more. More hikes, more walks, more bike rides. Workout more. Enjoy it.

5. Show up with kindness and compassion. Don’t ignore tough situations. Show up and support in some way or gesture. Acknowledge it.

6. Keep making. Sew, build, pottery...use my hands to create, to inspire, to fulfill that need I have.

7. Write, reflect, keep loving myself. Started journaling this year to get through some rough times and the habit of setting a more positive or purpose-driven day helped push me thru some stagnant and depressing times. Reflecting on how I’ve been doing, on what I CAN do, and how I’ve progressed is pretty motivating. It is a definite mood changer and helps keep some balance. My favorite affirmation: I am a bad ass bitch :P 

Paycheck.in.

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