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1000scrubs · 3 years

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Round 1: Sir Cola Domino

Writer Sir Cola Domino’s entry for the initial prompts from 2 years ago

It was a Friday in an ice cream shop in downtown Birmingham. A small child was going to bed, or so his parents thought. See, this child had sought a very important item, so he snuck out in the middle of the night.

The child was dubbed Jennifer Jonathan Andy The III Attorney at Law, he preferred Jandy. He had gone to a nearby discount store to buy some paints so he could finally pick up that Bob Ross tutorial that his father bought him for his 5th birthday. It was an odd gift to give to a 5 year old, but Jandy couldn’t really complain to his father, for he had died shortly after.

The paints he desired were out of stock in most places, including the store he had snuck out to visit. Jandy went to the back of the store to see if they had paints, because little Jandy doesn’t give a damn about restricted areas, only to find a secret entrance that lead to a Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets.

“Holy crap Louis, it’s a secret entrance that leads to a Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets.” Jandy said aloud to no one in particular. He paused for a moment, “What the hell am I saying?”

Jandy lowered himself into the secret entrance of secrets, and he found himself gazing down a long, seemingly unending hallway. Two secret agents were walking up and spotted him.

“What the hell? Is that a kid? Who let a kid down here? Does anyone know what to do if a child finds a super secret government base?” They spoke among themselves, bewildered that there was a small child in the base.

Jandy said “You can’t kill me, I’m a little baby boy!”

“Right you are. It would be pretty messed up if we shot a child,” said the well dressed agent, “let’s bring him to The Main Man.” said the taller agent. They slapped a pair of cuffs on Jandy and made there way to The Main Man.

“Well, well, well, what’s we got here?” asked The Main Man.

“Um, well sir, this small child was roaming around the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets.” the stumpy agent replied.

“What you waiting for? Shoot the little bugger!” exclaimed The Main Man.

“But… he’s a kid…” said the agent with the magnificent moustache.

“Hmm, you’re right. It would be pretty messed up if we shot a child.” said The Main Man.

“Very well kid, you win. We can grant you anything in the world, if you don’t speak of this encounter ever again.” The Main Man explained to the small, dumbfounded child.

“Umm, how about some paint?” Asked Jandy

“HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, now that right there is funny!” laughed The Main Man, “ but seriously, what did you want?”

“Really, I want some paints.” Jandy said.

“YOU LISTEN HERE LITTLE VERMIN, IF YOU DONT TAKE THIS OFFER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA STAB YOUR SMALL, INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE HEART!!!” screamed The Main Man.

“Sir, I thought the whole point is that we couldn’t kill him because he was a kid.” Said the balding agent.

“WHICH ONE OF YOU SAID THAT?!” asked The Main Man.

“Uh… me…” replied the balding agent.

“YOU’RE FIRED! Now kid, listen closely cause I’m only gonna say this once. We can grant you anything in the world, if you don’t speak of this encounter ever again.” The Main Man said.

”Look Mr. Main Man… all I want is some paints for my bob ross tutorial.” Jandy said frightened.

“A Bob Ross tutorial? Well bloody hell, that’s all you had to say. Of course we can do that!” said The Main Man, “The only problem is that the world has a bit of a shortage in the paints needed for a Bob Ross tutorial.” explained The Main Man. “Ooooh, I got an idea! Don’t worry kid, it will benefit us both. We’ll need a few days to prepare, so we’ll call you back when we’re ready.”

Jandy was uncuffed and given a card with a number on it, “This is my number, ignore the therapist part that was my previous job. I just didn’t want to make new ones.” The Main Man told Jandy.

The next day Jandy sat around the ice cream store, bored, anxious and having nothing to do except eat the ice cream meant for the customers, slowly putting his mother out of business. Suddenly Jandy had gotten a call “Hey, is this Jennifer Jonathan Andy the III Attorney at Law?” Asked an agent with a lisp over the phone

“Yes.” said Jandy.

“It’s time.” said the agent with a lisp. Jandy made his way back to the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets, he found two agents waiting for him.

“This way sir.” said the agent with one arm, Jandy followed the agents to a room that was unfamiliar.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t little old Jennifer Jonathan Andy the III Attorney at Law? Bloody hell, that’s a mouthful” Said The Main Man

“You can call me Jandy Mr. Main Man.” Jandy said.

“Please please, Mr. Main Man was my father, call me The.”

“Your name is The?” asked Jandy.

“Yes.” He stated.

“Ok. What exactly is all this?” asked Jandy.

“What you see before you is a machine that can shoot your molecules forward or backward through the space time quantiniumiam. You see, we needed an excuse to test this technology, and you need paint. So it’s a win win, except for the possibility that the machine will scatter your molecules throughout time instead of group them together in one certain point. Or if it rearranges your molecules-“

Jandy stood there in shock. ”WHAT!?” he interrupted bewildered

“Well, it’s quite simple really. The paints can only be found in the future. According to our calculations, there’s an ice cream shop right across from our store. That ice cream shop gets super successful in the future, and because it’s right across from the ice cream so does our store. So successful in fact, that the Bob Ross overlords notices and stocks us up with the needed paints-“

“NOT THAT, THE PART ABOUT ME DYING!” Jandy interrupted again.

“Oh no, no, you won’t die. You’ll be very much alive, but you’ll wish you were dead. Anyways, our calculations should come to fruition. Unless say, someone were to eat all the ice cream, say… an hour ago. But what are the odds of that happening, right?” Explained The.

Jandy paused for a moment, “I ATE ALL THE ICE CREAM!” he thought to himself, “Yea, what are the odds?” Jandy said.

“Here, bring some agents with you. Here’s a communication device for when we need to pull you back.”

Jandy and the two agents stepped into the machine. All Jandy could see was a bright blue light and then poof! He stepped out, only to see nothing but destruction and chaos.

“What the hell!?” Exclaimed the agent with the unibrow, before quickly being eaten alive by a big hideous monster.

“AHHH HOLY CRAP!” screamed the agent with a birthmark on their forehead before being devoured by another monster.

Jandy tried running for it, but tripped because Jandy sucks. As he fell he heard a loud CRACK, “Uh oh, hope that wasn’t the communicater.” He thought to himself.

The monsters surrounded him, and right as they were about to feast, a laser zipped right through one of the monsters. The monster went limp. From behind him, three hooded figures equipped with jet packs came flying in. They killed the rest of the monsters in a maneuver of such unbelievable coordination, trust, and precision, that it could not possibly be described with mere words.

The tallest of the figures walked up to Jandy, he stood there for a moment before taking off his hood. The other two figures took off their hoods as well. The man standing closest had a face that was oddly familiar, yet Jandy had never seen it before. The other was a woman who looked roughly the same age as the man. The last, a girl, looked much younger, seemingly a teenager. All three of them donned battle scars.

“What the shit?” said the man, with a confused look on his face.

“What are you doing out here kid? It’s not safe.” asked the teenager.

“Uh, I’m here to get some paints.” said Jandy.

“Holy crap Louis! I think that’s me.” the man said.

“Who the hell is Louis?” asked the woman.

“Nothing, it’s just a thing I say”

“Did you say that’s you?” asked the teenager.

“That kid looks exactly like me, and he’s looking for paint. That’s been my damn life goal!” the man explained.

“Hey, I don’t want any trouble. I’m just a little baby boy trying to get some paints.” said Jandy, worried.

Some loud shrieks were heard in the distance “Come on, it’s not safe here.” said the woman. The group ran into a nearby ruined building, “What’s your name kid?” asked the woman.

“my name is Jennifer Johnathan An-“

”-dy the III Attorney at Law,” finished the man, “that’s my name as well.”

“Holy crap! It’s a mini dad!” said the teenager.

“HUH?!” Jandy yelled.

“How is this possible?” asked Future Jandy,

“Probably something to do with the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets, aren’t they the ones who started this mess?” said the woman.

Future Jandy looked over to Jandy, who was fiddling with a device. “What’s that you got there?” He asked.

“Uhhh, it’s a broken communicator that was supposed to get me back.” Jandy said.

“That looks like super secret technology! We could go to the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of secrets, and see if there’s anything there.” Explained the teenager.

“Mariandy, I’m working with the enemy why would I help me?” asked Future Jandy.

“Mariandy?” Said Jandy confused.

“Mary Maria Andy Attorney at Law, also he’s you. We have to help you get back, or else we’ll all cease to exist, you dummy!” Mariandy explained.

“Hey, don’t talk to your father like that. Also, of course we have to help you, or else we’ll all die you dumbass.” said the woman.

“Ok Julia.” Said Future Jandy.

The Andy’s made there way to the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets. Across from them was an empty husk of the ice cream shop.

“To think, all this started right here…” said Future Jandy.

“What exactly happened here?“ asked Jandy.

“It all started by the ice cream shop…” Julia said as she pointed at its remains, “the previous ice cream shop was run out of business, and so it was replaced with a new ice cream shop. It had lots of options, but it tasted mediocre at best.

“One day when everything was going as it would, aliens came. They came to this ice cream shop and asked for ice cream. A bunch of agents with distinct features came running out of the store across the street, saying they were ‘secret agents’ and that, ‘you all have to keep this a secret’.

“Once the aliens got their ice cream, they said, ‘Meh, mediocre at best.’, that’s when the agents panicked. They were yelling, ‘OH NO THEY DIDN’T LIKE IT! THEY’RE GONNA KILL US, KILL THEM FIRST!’ and then they started this big war that woke the underground species that are roaming around today. While the aliens and the Super Secret Agents were fighting out in space, we had to take care of the monsters that are destroying the entire world.” Julia finished.

“And to think, if only they made better ice cream.” said Mariandy.

“This is all my fault, if only I had been a better son, and a better worker, then my mom wouldn’t have gone out of business.” Future Jandy said holding back tears.

“That’s kind of a stretch. I mean, it’s not like you were bored, anxious, and had nothing to do one day except eat the ice cream meant for the customers, slowly putting your mother out of business.” Mariandy said, “Right?” Future Jandy and Jandy looked at each other, stricken with guilt.

“Oh my god… are you serious!?” yelled Julia.

“Wait, wait, wait, I think I have an idea. What if we send little me back, so he can go and stop us from eating all the ice cream?” Future Jandy proposed.

“I guess that’ll work, god I cant believe this all happened over something so stupid.” said Julia.

“Then I can get my paints right?” asked Jandy.

“Yes! And then you can get your paints.” explained Future Jandy.

“Sounds like a plan.” Mariandy said excitedly.

After searching thoroughly through the Secretly Secret Underground Facility of Secrets looking to salvage some technology, finally they had found enough to fix the communicator.

“Alright, that should be fixed now.” said Julia.

“And remember, you’ll save the world, if, and only if, you make sure we don’t eat that ice cream.” Future Jandy said, giving Jandy the communicator.

“Alright, I got it, thanks everyone. I look forward to meeting you two in the future.” Jandy said.

“When you meet me don’t use any corny pick up lines, it won’t work.” said Julia .

“Wait, you didn’t like my pick up lines? I tried them so many times, why didn’t you say anything?!” asked Future Jandy.

“You got me eventually, so you must of done something right.” said Julia.

“Bye mini dad! Your life’s gonna be hell once I arrive!” exclaimed Mariandy.

Jandy signalled The to bring him back, and with one last look at his future life he saw a bright blue light, and then, poof! He was back.

“Well kid, you get the paint?” asked The.

“No, look, I lied to you before I left. There is a chance of there not being ice cream, a big chance, because I ate it, I ate it all.” Jandy explained.

“WHAT? HOW COULD YOU EAT THAT MUCH BLOODY ICE CREAM?!?” The screamed.

“That doesn’t matter now, what matters is that we have to stop me or else we’ll all die.” said Jandy.

“Alright, when did you eat the ice cream?” The asked.

“Like an hour ago.” said Jandy.

“Good god child, what is wrong with you…”

Jandy walked back into the machine, once again saw a bright blue light and, poof! He was back in the facility.

“AHH HOLY CRAP!” screamed an agent with bright blue hair.

“Jennifer? How the hell did you get in here?” asked an agent that was extremely buff.

“Calm down you plebes, obviously we sent him here from the future.” The from the past explained, “What went wrong?”

“I need to get to the ice cream shop now!” yelled Jandy worried.

“Lucky for you we’ve been working on a secret teleporter gun. We haven’t really tested it, but if the secret space time quantum molecule shooty machine works, then so should this.” The shot Jandy with the gun, and, with a flash of a bright purple light he found himself across from himself in the ice cream shop.

Past Jandy went for the ice cream before Jandy tackled him. “OW, WHAT THE HELL!?” yelled Past Jandy, “Who do you think you- holy crap Louis, it’s me!” past Jandy paused for a moment, “Who’s Louis?” he asked himself.

“Hey, look at me! Don’t eat this ice cream. Please, it will put our mom out of business and that will bring the apocalypse.” Jandy explained to himself.

“Seriously?” Past Jandy asked.

“Yes, seriously. Just makes sure this business stays afloat long enough, so that when the aliens come, they’ll get good ice cream.” said Jandy.

“Wow, that sentence makes no sense.” Past Jandy said laughing, the two Jandy’s went on to have quite a conversation. Coming to a lot of conclusions, and ultimately changing their outlook on life.

Jandy signaled for The, and with that, Jandy returned.

“Well kid, we all good to go?” The asked.

“Yep, just one more trip.” Jandy said, another bright blue light, and, poof! Jandy was in a much nicer, friendlier future.

He walked to the store where he saw his future self with Julia and Mariandy. “We’ve been expecting you.” said future Jandy.

“Holy crap, it’s a mini dad!” Mariandy said out of excitement.

“Huh, so you were telling the truth all these years?” Julia asked.

“Thought you said you didn’t doubt me?” Said Future Jandy.

“um, you guys got any paint?” Jandy asked.

“Hang on let me ask Brody… hey Brody, we got any Bob Ross paints?” Future Jandy asked. Brody emerged from under the counter, he was an alien. Brody made indistinguishable noises that Jandy couldn’t understand, but Future Jandy could “He said it’s in the back.”.

Jandy went to the back of the store to see if they had paints, with permission this time, and there it was. All the paints needed for his Bob Ross tutorial, sitting right in front of him. “I can’t pay for these sir-” Jandy started to say.

“I’ll pay, it’s the least I could do.” Future Jandy interrupted. Jandy thanked his future counterpart, and said his goodbyes to his future family.

“Extraction complete.” Jandy said to the communicator, and with one last bright blue light, he was back.

“Well, well, well, looks like you finally got the paint, huh?” The said.

“Thanks for the help The.” said Jandy graciously.

“Just remember our deal kid, don’t speak of this encounter ever again.” The explained.

“Yea, hey, one last thing can you use your teleporter gun to send me home? I’ve gone through a lot in the past few seconds.” Said Jandy.

“What the… how did you know about the secret teleporter gun? Oh well, I guess you did risk your life for us, but no more favours after this! Got it runt?” The said gruffly. With a flash of a bright purple light, Jandy was back home.

“WHERE WERE YOU?! I’VE BEEN SO WORRIED!” his mom yelled, crying.

Jandy hugged his mother, “I was getting paints for the Bob Ross tutorial”.

The next day, with a all the paints needed, and with a fresh white canvas, Jandy popped the tutorial into the cassette player. He followed the tutorial step by step, until he had created a beautiful masterpiece with the help of the great Bob Ross.

Prompts lost, but estimated to be: Who: A young child (possibly 5yo) What: Meets his future family When: The ‘When’ prompt is lost Where: Birmingham, England Why: To complete a Bob Ross tutorial

#5w story #short story #death #round 1 #placeholder tag 5 #sir cola domino #time travel #sci fi #action adventure

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