#live fast die never
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My original character looks like Renji but it’s not Renji! It is a samurai who committed quantum seppuku and gained quantum immortality. Yes, it’s a marginal theory in science but it’s perfect for science fiction 💕
#renji abarai#abarairenji#original character#original story#sketch#quantum magic#live fast die never
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also. they are human. to be clear. they’re also just “not from around here” (earth)
#far future human companion babyyyyyy#they’ve never actually set foot on a planet before they meet the doctor. it’s a whole thing (<- is making this up as they type it)#deep space exploration. the kind of technology to Get You There but not fast enough that the people who started the journey will end it.#forgotten of course when that technology arrives. still drifting to their destination where humans have already made it.#because it cost more to go get them then to just let them coast to another galaxy.#born on a ship to die on a ship. and maybe the doctor arrives because something went Horribly Wrong. and that’s the only way they’ll ever#go anywhere else in their life.#knowing that they can’t go back. not for the usual ‘oh ill travel with you forever’ reasons but for more practical ones.#they will not be adjusted to the life that ship requires anymore. they would bring back diseases their fellow shipmates have lost immunity#to over generations. they will not be able to live on the same rations or the same limited air or the same awkward gravity.#the first week on the TARDIS is hell because they’re trying to recalibrate their body to Not Die the minute they touch down anywhere#let the doctor do some doctoring.#idk you see what im getting at here?#dw oc
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why should it just be steve who has all the torturous purgatory realm fun?
#dbd#myart#wip#quick clarification for those only familiar with the american version of ringu: sadako is 19.#anyway. I love that dbd lets me explore steve and nancy's characters outside the bullshit that the show is.#because the whole steve and nancy dynamic is Interesting. but the dustbags are plagued by cerebral hetrot so that story never GOES anywhere#it's just the “Waaaah love triangle OMG!!! will they? won't they?” crap. idk man. idc. why're these dumbasses breathing in Upside down air?#some people here have seen lucy before-- he is the ghostface pictured. and he's an OC. different person entirely from danny.#I won't explain his full lore here but-- he was a drag queen before the fog who started out by only killing those who he felt deserved it.#his entire persona satirises catholicism and he calls himself “the holy ghost” rather than ghostface. the entity made him an actual devil.#he's obsessed with steve because he LIVES his own role so he sees steve as his heroic opposite or some fucked up gay shit like that.#he's clutching kate's heart because if he were a real character in the game-- he'd have two moris.#one standard... and one for if a steve is present in the lobby. the second would involve him carving out the heart of a survivor as a gift.#he never harms steve though-- so it makes steve's penchant for self-sacrifice pointless.#steve instead has to do what he can to open the gates as fast as possible-- or watch everyone else die! :)#as for the toxic yuri-- it occurred to me that sadako's backstory bears some striking similarities to barb's story.#as soon as I realised this-- it was like I had suddenly gained the ability to see a new colour I could not see before.#sadako wanting to torment nancy as sick revenge for what happened to her but using barb's death as justification for this...#...nancy being unable to escape the ghost of barb... even in this hell dimension full of terrifying monsters--#it is still the memory of the girl she feels she “let” die in steve's pool that scares and hurts her the most.#not to mention that sadako's powers are reminiscent of how the upside down related fuckery appears...#the screwy technology. the telekinesis.#I just REALLY love seeing characters be forced to confront difficult parts of themselves even if that shit REALLY hurts.#dbd makes it so easy to do that to any given character. of course this goes both ways too-- it'd force lucy & sadako to change too.#which opens the door for torment on their end too because killers who disobey the entity are tortured into obeying.#a rock and a hard place on both ends. and that is Exactly how I like it. intense. complicated-- a puzzle to be solved.
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anyways. I'm really glad I didn't bring my tommy merch with me to school bc I think seeing it rn would make me so much more sad
#I really thought tommy was one of the good ones yknow? just another dumb kid who got too famous too fast and let it go to his head#I'm still subbed to him on youtube and I used to never miss an upload but tbh his videos haven't looked interesting in months#all his content seems like it's trying to appeal to 3rd graders#and idk it just sucks to see his content de-evolve so much#and how he used to be so loyal to his friends and then went and stabbed them in the back#idk its fucked up man#when I started this blog for mcyt I was a tommy main#I thought he had so much potential and had such a good down to earth outlook on the world#but now everything he does just kinda sucks or feels meh#you either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain ig#heckin rants
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Well, I still get horrifically motion sick.
#vomit mention#I'm okay now#but dear fuckin gods#I almost forgot how fast I can go from completely fine to praying to just die on the spot because it would suck less#I know I'm having a bad time when I start mentally time traveling to the future where everything is okay#and buddy I spent that entire car ride living as hard as I possibly could in the current moment#also I've been dealing with angular cheilitis which isn't any fun and uh. this did Not help. at all#the pineapple didn't help either lmao#I think I'm reacting to my toothpaste tbh I've never had it this constantly before#gods damn tho I'm so tired right now.#the rest of the day was great but busy and then. That™
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Day 5 of killjoys week - Hopeful lies
An easy plan, really
quickly in, quickly out
grab the child and be five feet high before they notice you're gone
So why do my hands tremble when I count the beads around my wrist
again and again and again
trying to send a prayer to a god I don't believe in
Why do I hug my brothers tighter than usual
seeing broken hope in their eyes
and I know the same is in mine
they smile but their lips drip poison and blood
and I
I smile back
because everything is gonna be fine
we are always fine
always
But why do I feel a clawed hand on my shoulder
grip I shake off
instead white walls outstretching their piercing embrace
air leaving my lungs and turning into fog in front of my face
So I strap the holster to my thigh
and grin to root fear in Saturn's heart
because killjoys never die
and we have destiny covering our backs
#can you tell I have lots of feeling about the fab four and them lived on promises of fake future living too fast because they can never die#until they can and them believing they are immortal because they are stupid kids and everyone treats them that way#and when they realise their mistake they are already nothing but angels fallen onto cold tile floor in pools of blood#and also how I believe they knew they were about to die but also believed they weren't and that they would get out like always#yeah I am very normal about all that actually#also can we talk about how the radio crew was ready as plan B because that is uh.. a lot actually#anyway I am sorry I am too tired to draw and well I cannot put it into picture either tbh so you get whatever this is instead#killjoys week 2023#ttlotfk#ttlofk#danger days#my posts
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Some French stay should take one for the team and French kiss Chris for me at lolla and tell him he's beautiful
#i was watching pre 2020 skz footage p much around blond chan era and i feel kinda sad for him bc he looked a lot younger not as in age duh#it was the time in which he was healing bc his dream was his and sure he had responsibilities but perhaps less he looked more chill with#his surfer hair and chubbier cheeks and a book even. he used to read and make music and play for fun and ofc i don't fucking know him nor#know what he does irl but i can see his face now and i read that the he's always working always in need to do better overworked etc#he would never have a hiatus even sick he only had to bc covid is infective and i wish he knew that live fast die young is bs and that#he's amazing even if he rests or does nothing or delegate.he's not old or a father he's only a 25 yo dude that had his teenage years robbed#to him. i wish he was kinder to himself bc maybe someone out there is the same and they deserve to understand that u can still make it#without sacrificing parts of yourself bc that's how it is. it is how u make it
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how does this week keep getting worse wtf
#this is. so fucking unbearable#the tinnitus makes me want to blow my fucking brains out i dont know why it got so much violently worse so fast#but i guess its like this forever now! and it only gets worse!#i thought id be able to deal with it but if it gets this much worse at this rate im so fuxking dead lol this is insanity#i cant take it on top of everything everything EVERYTHING else if god wants me dead this fucking bad she'll get it#life hasnt been worth it for 12 fucking years it CERTAINLY isnt worth it now that im blinder balder in more.pain and.crazier than ever#and the tinnitus makes the screaming in my head eternal#girl theres no point it just hurts to be alive#i cant pay to fix a single one of my problems and ill need tens of thousands of dollars to even kind of fix all of them#i never got to start my life#i never will. not as the person i was. or ever wanted to be. or even close. ive physically and mentally lost too much to do what id planned#and now i cant even live in peace normally even if i were able to 'fix' everything so much of this is permanent and degenerative#spent 24 years giving everything to my family and they returned the favor by leaving me in a rotting box to die and i let it work lol#only took abouy a year and a half too#my dad's family killed off their mentally ill youngest of six WAY faster than it took em to get to me so i guess they got rusty#anyway i love when the all consuming despair comes back im gonna go cry for a bit and hopefully fall back to sleep
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austin show and hasan flying a plane is a live action physolocial horror
#hasan piker#Austin Show#if i hadnt watched that one vod of them on that bike getting drunk i would not have known it was a fake plane#but at the same time i was never 100% sure cause it looked that real#and everything around them was has been too perfect#and its just SO REAL#and they both are taking it so seriously that it just cant seem to be fake#AND THEN THEY START TO TAKE OFF SUPER FAST AND ARE SCREAMING#FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT THEY ARE GOING TO DO A 9 11#AND IT WAS A BIT AND THEY WERE IN A VIDEO GAME#THEY DONT THEY ARE TAKING IT *FOR REAL* AND ARE FREAKING OUT#SO IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT YOU THINK OH FUCK THIS IS REAL AND THEY ARE ABOUT TO DIE LIVE ON CAMERA#AND THEN THEY HIT THE GROUD AND THE BLURRY PIXEL MOUNTAIN TAKES UP HALF THE SCREEN
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“I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.”
♡ @timeshrouded
"Goodness," Mary breathes, after a too-long pause. She turns to her friend, looking her dead in the eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way, 'Tear, but sometimes it's hard to believe that you once had the Magic Council on its knees. It's just... I can't picture it yet."
#i am sorry ultear u do not deserve this slander /#▐ .｡*ﾟ━ IN CHARACTER.#▐ .｡*ﾟ━ ULTEAR & MARY: LIVE FAST & NEVER DIE‚ WE’RE MOVING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. // TIMESHROUDED#i do not remember making this tag /#▐ .｡*ﾟ━ V. JUDGMENT: I LIKE HIGH CHANCES THAT I MIGHT LOSE.#timeshrouded
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How the fuck do I act in an interview lmfao 🥴
#text#personal#i have to start applying to jobs soon 😭#and my mom suggested a hostess job since our acquaintance works there but i would rather Die than work a public-facing job again#like you don’t understand. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK. i have never had a dream job except for being an author but i don’t have the energy#or creativity for that anymore#but yeah i have to find a ~real job~ since i’ve graduated college and i have ‘skills’ (not actually though)#but anyways if i even make it to an interview round after applying how the actual fuck do i act#I’ve never had a ‘real’ interview bc I’ve only ever worked in fast food#am i supposed to kiss their ass? am i supposed to be honest? how honest? how much do i lie? do i even lie?#how do i explain the 8 month ‘gap’ in my resume lmfao. bc I can’t just say that I was moving for eight fucking months#ugh I really want to die like I would rather die than have to work 40-50 hours per week every week#like that sounds like absolute torture and i never lasted more than 2 months at my old jobs bc it got too overwhelming and hard to handle#i think there might be genuinely something wrong/off with me but idk what LMAO#i don’t think I can get disqualified from working or whatever bc I can technically work but I’ll burn through all of my energy#and literally be extremely depressed and miserable and have no time to do anything other than sleep and eat#i don’t even remember what I wrote at this point and I don’t care#the main point is that I hate working more than anything. i hate burning through all of my energy and having none left#I’m tired as fuck just writing this shit out. how the fuck am i supposed to get a real job and work it every day for the rest of my life#like there is NOTHING I enjoy laboring for. i wish I got paid to stream video games or post videos for a living but I’m not funny enough#or creative enough for that to work. plus idk how to stream or edit. and I know I’d get cancelled lmfao since my social skills are so poor#and I’d say something wrong. not even anything remotely bad but just word something wrong or use the ‘wrong’ word#ugh anyways. idk if I should tell my doctor all of this or if she’d even care (probably not)
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A code status is what you want the hospital to do if your heart or breathing stops, and we've got two basic options: full code which means we do EVERYTHING and Do Not Resuscitate or DNR which means we do less than everything. There's like little add-ons like intubated or not intubated, or blood products or no blood products, but that's basic gist of it. Do you want us to try everything we can to save your life or if your heart stops, is that it? And then we take that information and put it in your chart and make it very prominent in case we need to find it quickly in an emergency. Jane Doe, 72 years old, DNR. John Whatsisname, 49 years old, full code. Like that.
Anyway I'd like to propose a third code status that we'll call "DNR!!!" This is when you not only don't want heroic measures to extend your life, you are so excited to die. I thought of this recently when getting report on a patient, and the day nurse talking to me was like, "Alice Smith, 80 years old, DNR and she will tell you that herself." And I was like, "I don't think code status is gonna come up organically," and the nurse was like, "It won't, but she'll tell you anyway." And then I introduced myself to the patient, and like three minutes in as we're talking about pain meds, she goes, "and by the way, when I'm dead, I'm DEAD. Don't be bringing me back! Every woman in my family has lived past 90, and I'm here to break that tradition! NO one needs to live that long, and I certainly don't, and frankly it's indecent for me to have made it this far. God willing the reaper will come for me any day now. I would never take actions to make him come sooner, but I'm not moving that fast and he is DAWDLING. Disgusting. No work ethic these days. And don't bother with a grave, just chuck me out the window and let the birds at me."
And I'm like "so is that a no to the tylenol"
And she was like "oh no, I'd love some tylenol and a warm blanket too. Now look at me. I've done everything I could possibly want to do in this world and quite a few things I didn't want to do, and personally I don't think I should have to keep doing things. I'd also love a cranberry juice."
Anyway. DNR!! I'm sorry to say she made it through the night completely unscathed.
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I dont get it I really dont i did everything how im supposed to do it
#im so tired i cant anymore I really just cant anymore#my body feels like Its dying#ive never been awake and being so tired before#if i say im only crying I mean screaming crying Not just sipping#tbh what is happening???#i sleep always so fast bcs im so tired in a dat i cant handle anymore#and for some reason en#rn i dont fall asleep#Its already 4 hours later then i did fall asleep yesterday???#im so gonna die tomorrow#if i say my parents will kill me I mean it#they cant handle if i sleep long so they are gonna be so mad at me#and i will Not handle it bcs i will be so tired#im nauseous#if i think about living tomrrow so thats cool#anyway wish me sleep
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Thinking about playing hk again just for steel soul jinn
#hollow knight#my posts#I LOVE JINN!!! SO MUCH!!!#literally my buddy my pal by best friend#unfortunately i would be playing with a broken controller and i also suck now so i would die so fast#i think i died to a tiktik in steel soul and ive never personally lived that down
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the feature i really need tumblr to add is to have your moms phone number on your profile so if you disagree with me i call your mom to tattle on you but then your mom and i get to talking and we realize we actually have a lot in common then at the same time we say “maybe we should continue this conversation over dinner” then we both laugh and that night your mom and i meet for dinner and i bring her flowers and pay for her food and we have a beautiful evening together that leads into an even more beautiful night on a beach under the stars and i turn to your mom and say “i know this may seem a little fast but i’ve never felt this way before” and she says “i was thinking the same thing” and we kiss under the moonlight and we realize in that moment that we want to spend the rest of our lives together so i move in with her and fall in love more every day and we grow old together and she passes before i do but luckily i’ve come to think of her children like they’re my own then years later i’m on my death bed and you say “you were like a second mother to me” and i say “hey remember when you disagreed with me online 50 years ago well L + ratio + i fucked your mom LOL” then i die having got the last word in
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#not to be that white bitch but. i genuinely dont understand other white people who hate diversity#just scrolled past an article about how small towns of all white people would rather risk environmental disaster#than move to a safer area thats more diverse. like WHAT?? thats literally being willing to die for your racism. which tbf explains a lot#and ik we're all a bit racist bc we're raised in a racist society yadda yadda. but like. i crave being around people who are different from#me. i love learning new things about the diversity of the human experience!! tell me about your culture#tell me about your struggles. tell me about how im cooking food wrong. tell me terms for stuff in a language i dont speak.#tell me about joys ive never considered and jokes ive never heard. tell me about all the things ive never known!!#and be yourself out in public with your friends goofing off with no consideration for me. be silly in ways ive never seen.#talk fast and loud in a language i cant quite place. practice your hobby thats complicated in ways i cant comprehend bc i havent learned it#just. i love humanity!! i love when people arent all the same!! i love people from different places different cultures different everything#i love the joys and wonders around being aware i always have more to learn and the knowledge that there are things i will never know#i dont understand people who dont want to know anything outside their own experience. thats so sad and lonely? like. live a little.
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