#listen I’ve had this show on my to watch list for fucking ages
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G13
Spinning Now: "Finish What Ya Started" by Van Halen (1988)
Pairing: Josh x Female Reader
Word Count: 8.2k
Description: You and Josh, your favorite new co worker, decide to share more than drinks as what started as a normal night turns into something you never expected.
Warnings: Smoking, Drinking, Cursing, Drug Use, Heavy Flirting, Praise, Dirty Talk, Touching, Mention of Breakups and Heartbreak, Sadness. Smut: Kissing, Oral M!receiving
New town, new job, new life.
That’s always how things went in the movies, and every time, the girl always got her happy ending.
How hard can it be, right?
After you’d managed to knock the first new off your list when you moved out of your ex’s house and to the next city over, the “job” part was next in line. After a week of filling out applications, you finally landed on the perfect selection, a serving job at Angelo’s Pizza.
You’d started this new job about about three months ago, and you finally felt like you were getting your footing with the flow of things. You’d been a server for as long as you could remember, but getting used to a new restaurant with new people and new menus and management could sometimes prove to be difficult. You were handling it with as much grace as you could, and the money was killer, so you stuck it out.
“You coming to the bar with me tonight?” your new favorite coworker, Josh asked as he stared into the kitchen from the expo window, rolling a pile of coasters across the countertop.
“Mmmh…” You mumbled under your breath. “I dunno, I’ve been here since lunch and my feet are absolutely killing me.”
”Ugh don’t be such a prude, Y/N.” He responded, taking a pepperoni and cheese in one hand, and a supreme in the other. “We’ll be sitting down the whole time. Ya know. In barstools.”
“Shut the fuck up.” You teased, elbowing him in the ribs. “I guess so, but I can’t stay out late like last weekend. I open tomorrow.”
“Oooo, a clopen. That sucks. Well, I don’t. So I can get drunk, and you can watch me.” He flashed you a giant smile before taking off with the pizzas in hand, disappearing into the sea of people seated in the restaurant.
Josh had befriended you on your very first day, comforting you after your manager harshly scolded you for ringing something in incorrectly.
“Don’t worry about it.” He’d said as you pouted in the walk-in. “I still fuck my shit up all the time. The cooks don’t really care, plus if you mess somethin’ up, we get to eat the fucked up pizza.” That was the only thing he said to you the entire day, but it really stuck with you, immediately making you feel a lot better about your tiny mistake.
Now, after a few months of working side by side with Josh, you’d actually gotten to know each other fairly well, and you’d even go as far as calling him one of your good friends. You’d managed to get to know all your coworkers on a surface level, but Josh actually took the time to listen to you when you spoke, and showed real interest in the things you had to say, no matter how menial.
He was cute, and around the same age as you, but there was something about Josh that you couldn’t put your finger on. It was something that struck you, making him stand out from the rest of the guys you worked with. His aura pulled you in, and the way his eyes sparkled in the neon that covered the walls of the restaurant didn’t help the fact that he sometimes made your heart skip a beat. You decided that it was just his looks, though, catching you off guard every once in a while as you were around him more. Most importantly, he made you feel welcome. Like a good friend should.
The more you got to know Josh, the more open he became with you, and you quickly learned that his real personality outside of work was a little bit different than when you were on the clock. It’d become almost a habit, now, joining Josh at his favorite dive bar down the street when you’d both end up on the same closing schedule. It was like Groundhog Day, Josh would ask you to come out, you’d find an excuse to turn him down, but you always left Angelo’s with your hand in his as you tiredly dragged yourselves down the street. Sometimes other coworkers would join you, but it was always the two of you left shutting the bar down, joking and laughing with one another as you waited for your Ubers.
Josh was quickly becoming a norm for you. A fun, platonic norm. And though you were both flirty with one another, it never felt as though it would go past anything but that. Just friends. And you were very content with that.
So tonight, as things wound down and the patrons closed out their tabs, you felt as if you really could use a nightcap or two to reward yourself for not making even one mistake on your orders today.
As you tied the oversized trash bag closed, you met eyes with Josh as he skillfully swiped the mop across the sticky, sauce-covered floor.
He grinned when he saw you looking, making your stomach drop. “What?” He asked, biting his lower lip in as he staved off a full-on smile.
“Nothing. Just thinking about how you roped me into going out again tonight.” You said with faux aggravation.
Josh sucked in his teeth as he plopped the mop back into the big yellow bucket, rolling it over to where you stood. “Actually, I asked you out with me tonight for another reason. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna get absolutely shit hammered, tonight.” His tone was serious rather than silly, and you instantly felt like something was wrong.
“What’s the other reason?” You pressed, lifting the bag from the can. “Everything okay?”
He shook his head and swallowed, opening the double doors to the kitchen to go and dump his bucket. You followed closely behind him with your trash.
“Eh, not really. I’ll tell you all about it when we get there. Let’s lock this bitch up.” He flashed his eyes to the floor as he spoke, which was unlike him. He always spoke with such confidence and effortless ease.
The two of you finished up your closing tasks and said goodnight to the line cooks, grabbing up your things from your lockers and stuffing your aprons back inside. Josh was quiet the whole time, again striking you as out of the ordinary. You hadn’t known Josh long, but you did know him well enough to know that something was off, and he wasn’t handling it well.
“Think I’m going straight for liquor tonight.” He said as you walked arm in arm down the crowded sidewalk to the bar. He tilted his head back, blowing a puff of air above you, watching as the cold air turned it into steam.
“Damn.” You answered. “You must really be going through it, friend.” It was also unlike Josh to drink liquor; each time you were around him, he’d always chosen draft beer.
You both stepped inside the dimly-lit dive bar, letting the heat warm your chilly bones from the cold autumn air. You both took up camp on two stools at the end of the bar, closest to the back wall. The bartender Roy approached you, throwing down two bar napkins in front of you as you got comfortable in your seats.
“Evenin’, guys. Sex on the Beach andddd, Josh, we’ve got a Kolsch and a pale ale on tap, and also a—“
“Jack Daniel’s. Neat, please.” Josh interrupted Roy, causing him to contort his face with surprise.
“Been waiting on you almost five years and never known you to drink liquor. But, alright…” Roy responded as he left for a minute, returning and placing your drinks in front of you. “I’ll keep the tab goin’.”
It was silent between the two of you for the first couple of minutes, both of you sipping your drinks as you relaxed your muscles from the long workday. Finally, you decided you would have to be the one to speak first, for once.
“Okay, spill. What’s got you on the hard stuff tonight?” You asked, turning to face Josh in your stool.
He leaned on his elbow, his tight black t-shirt squeezing his toned arm just right. “I got dumped last night.”
You felt your eyebrows jump to your forehead. “What?! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Josh…I didn’t even know you had a—“
“Nah, it’s okay. I could kinda tell shit was going sideways, anyway, ya know? Almost expected it. But, still doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He disconnected his eye contact, tilting his glass back all the way and finishing off the last bit of his whiskey.
You were almost stunned speechless. You hadn’t seen Josh show any emotion that even came close to sadness before, and you struggled with how you were going to react.
Roy brought the bottle of Jack over, filling Josh’s glass with another two fingers.
“How long were you together?” You asked, tiptoeing with caution, given that he might not want to go into much detail.
“Four and a half years.” He said blankly.
“My god, are you serious?!” You choked out with disbelief.
He nodded hard as he kept his eyes trained on the bar in front of you, spinning his stool in tiny tight circles. “Yeah. Long time.” He sipped his drink again.
“I really am sorry, Josh. That’s a long time to be with someone for it to just...” You placed a hand on his arm as you spoke.
He crossed his arms in front of him. “Yeah, it’s fucked.” He growled, leaning back in his stool.
“You wanna talk about it?” You asked.
“No, that’s why we’re here.” He slammed his hands on the bar top, motioning for Roy to refill your already almost empty cocktail.
Roy brought your new drink over, stirring the drink with the tiny straw for you. Josh lifted his glass into the air, forcefully clinking it against yours. “To moving on!” He said, finishing the drink off once again.
——
An hour or so later, you and Josh had managed to find yourselves significantly intoxicated once again, engaged in a deep passionate debate.
“Ever since they banned smoking indoors, the American bar scene has been fucked!” Josh drunkenly yelled overtop of the loud music and large crowd that had joined you inside the bar.
You had to laugh. “Josh, not everybody loves breathing that shit in! It makes some people really sick!” You challenged.
“Ah, hell. You come into a bar, you expect to be around smoke, all there is to it. All there is to it!” He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders in defiance of your argument.
“You can go outside and smoke, Josh. Easy as that. Just get over it!” The two of you were glassy-eyed and giggly, feeling your liquor take hold of you as you talked. Josh brought about a warmth in you that you’d never experienced before, and you’d be lying if you said your…attraction? to him wasn’t amplified when you were drunk.
No, not attraction.
Something else…
You had no idea what to label the feeling, because you’d never felt it ever before. You took it in stride, though, embracing the completely new emotion as it came. It was almost like you craved his attention, and fed off of him engaging with you. You wanted to please him, but not in such a way that was sexual.
…You didn’t think.
No. You just craved his recognition. Wanted his eyes on you and no one else. Wanted to make him laugh, be the one who made him forget about everything else. It wasn’t a jealousy thing, it was a matter of possessiveness. You wanted to protect him like a best friend. And anyone who dared cause him unhappiness would have to deal with you.
Is this insane thinking?! Am I crazy for this? You drunkenly asked yourself as you washed your hands in the bar bathroom sink, giving yourself a disapproving look in the mirror. Probably, maybe…but he seems to feel the same about you... You had noticed that the second you’d inadvertently struck up a conversation with another guy at the bar, Josh quickly stole your attention away again, bringing up a whole new topic of conversation that had nothing to do with the last.
He charmed you. Drew you in. Challenged your thoughts and opinions…made you talk like you’d never talked before. Laugh like you’d never laughed.
“You’re really smart, Y/N. I didn’t really notice that about you, before.” Josh smiled as he leaned over toward you on the bar. His cheeks were tinted the prettiest pink from the alcohol.
“Uhh, thanks, I guess?” You chortled, feigning being offended.
“No I mean, you surprise me. Keep me guessing, every time I turn around. Never had a friend like that before. I’m usually so bored with everyone I meet. You make me like, think. Ya know?” He explained as you nodded sweetly in understanding. You knew you were blushing.
“Last call!!” You heard Roy yell across the still-crowded room. You made blurry eye contact with Josh again.
“Damn, we didddit agin.” You stammered. “Let me pay, you’ve had a hard couple’a days.”
“No no no, no you don’t. I asked you here, my treat. Plus, my drinks were fuckin’ pricey tonight.”
“But Josh, let me treat you, for once...” You jutted your bottom lip out as you begged him. You watched as his eyes landed on your lips, stealing his attention again. Suddenly, you felt excited.
“Alright, alright. But I’m leavin’ the tip.” He agreed. “I just needed some sympathy…that’s all I wanted tonight.”
“And you got it, didn’t you? You forgot all about your messy breakup?”
“For the most part, yes.” He laughed. “But I like to look at the long run, ya know? Like to take each step, one by one. Let myself live in the sadness.”
You scoffed as you signed your name on the receipt and pulled your coat on. “Psh, Josh, didn’t you just cheers me and say ‘to moving on’?”
He stood from his stool, wrapping his arm around your neck tightly. The smell of his cologne mixed with the remnants of pizza filled your senses, temporarily making you dizzy as he squeezed you in his grip.
“I did, Y/N, I did. But I’m also drunk, now. So. And also, I don’t really wanna go home yet. ‘M gonna walk you to your Uber then hit up Chauncey’s…they stay open ‘til 2.”
You turned in his grasp, your face within inches of his as he held you tightly. “Don’t go back out, Josh. No sense in drinkin’ your sorrows away by yourself.” It felt like you were outside of your own body; all you wanted was to go home and strip down and crawl into bed, but for some reason, your mouth told Josh that apparently you didn’t want to go home, either. “Come back to my place. We’ll have one more drink, and we can share the blunt that TJ gave me yesterday.”
“TJ? The linecook?” Josh seemed surprised. “You letting strangers give you drugs now, Y/N?”
“He’s hardly a stranger, Josh. Why, you jealous?” You teased, while also testing the waters of what the hell this feeling the two of you apparently shared could actually be.
“Fuck no, I’m not jealous. I’m…I…” Josh opened his mouth, but nothing came out after that. “I don’t know, I just—“ You were still tightly wrapped up in the crook of his elbow, his face so close to yours that you could smell the liquor on his breath as he struggled to speak.
You decided to save him. “It’s alright Josh. You don’t have to come over. I’ll smoke it allllll by myself…” you sneakily wrapped your arm around his back, giving it a couple playful pats.
He looked down at you through his lashes, his jaw clenched tightly together. “You really want me to come over?”
You nodded. “I do. Come on, it’ll be fun.” More than anything, you wanted him to know you were the reason he had such a good night, and the reason he was able to forget about his breakup.
“Okay, jackass. You talked me into it. Let’s go get high.” He released you from his grasp as you confirmed your Uber on your phone, and your overwhelming satisfaction of claiming his attention again propelled you out the door.
——
“Cute place. You decorate it yourself?” Josh teased as you both entered your apartment. It was only half-decorated and you hardly had any furniture, spending most of your days working and saving up money to finish furnishing it.
“Shut up, dick head!” You shoved him backwards as he laughed. “I haven’t finished making it cute yet.” You pulled the bottle of liquor from the cabinet, shaking the little bit that was left. “I know you’ve been drinking whiskey, but…vodka’s all I’ve got.”
“Ah, it’ll work.” Josh responded, plopping down on your couch. “M’already fucked with a hangover tomorrow, might as well do it up.” You caught sight of his pretty light brown curls sitting on top of his head, and you felt another rush of that strange excitement soar through you.
You made the two drinks and joined him on the couch, pulling the blunt up under your nose as you breathed in its earthy scent. Josh took the drink from your hand, raising his eyebrows as he watched you smell the rolled marijuana.
“TJ usually has good shit, I will say.” He winked, sipping his drink.
You pulled your feet up underneath you on the couch, scooting yourself closer to him. “Thought you said I shouldn’t take drugs from strangers…”
“I never said you shouldn’t, I just meant that next time you should get your weed from me.” He spoke without a care, taking the blunt from your hand and bringing it to his own nose.
“Ah, well I was unaware I could do that, Joshua.” You snatched it back from him, taking the lighter from the table in front of you and lighting the end of the blunt. You inhaled the smoke slowly, noticing that Josh hadn’t responded to you.
You glanced at him, finding the most devastating half smile on his face. You swore you felt your skin tingle.
“Did you just call me by my government name, Y/N?” He whispered, leaning his head down to you.
You exhaled the smoke you didn’t realize you were holding, nodding slowly. “Yeah, you mad about it?”
You passed him the blunt. “Nah, kinda liked the way it sounded, actually.” You watched as his lips made a perfect O around the tip of the blunt, and you found yourself wondering what kind of chapstick he used to get them to look…like that…
You felt your eyes grow heavy as your first hit found you, the THC entering your system quickly. Josh must have noticed, as he giggled at your appearance. “Told you TJ had good shit.”
“I swear to god I’m already fuckin’ high…” you laughed, taking another big hit.
“Mmm, no baby, you’re crossed. But not all the way. Yet.” Josh’s voice was gritty and buttery all at the same time. And the fact that he called you baby had you feeling that same feeling again. He calls everybody baby, though…all the girls at work…you’re not special.
The two of you sat and smoked until the blunt was a roach, and the air around you was thick with haziness. Your entire body was heavy and floaty, and you swore you could feel the blood pumping through your extremities. The conversation with Josh was so easy, so effortless, and the way the two of you held the complete attention of one another continued to astound you.
“So tell me about you. What’s your real story?” Josh asked, the both of you sitting facing one another completely, now.
You sipped your vodka drink. “What do you mean, real story?”
“I only know a little bit about you, where did you come from? What’s in your past?”
You took a deep breath. “Well, believe it or not, Josh, I kinda just got broken up with recently, too.”
“No way, you’re kidding. When? What happened?” He pressed.
“Ahh, about a month before I started at Angelo’s. I’m from about twenty miles away, up north a bit. Came here looking to start completely fresh. Still close enough to my family, if I need them. Ya know…” you trailed off. Josh’s eyes were telling you to continue.
“I got dumped, too. After a year of being with him. I thought we were serious, but apparently not. It didn’t hurt me too bad, I’m alright. Liking my new life pretty well, actually.”
Josh dramatically leaned back on the couch cushion, throwing his free hand over his face. “Ugh, god…how embarrassing. You handled bein’ dumped like a goddamned rockstar. I’m over here down in the dumps.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay, Josh. Four and a half years is a lot longer than one…”
“You’re right, I guess.” He sat back up, bringing his attention back to you. “So what was his reason? What was his last straw?” He asked, moving his face closer to yours. Your body was vibrating from the alcohol and the weed, and the presence of Josh sitting so close to you on your couch. You were positively buzzing.
“He uh, didn’t really give me one. Just said it was over.” You whispered, feeling your emotions flying all over the place. Josh’s hand reached up, twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers. “He also said I was a bad kisser, or something stupid.”
Josh winced at your words. “A bad kisser? I highly doubt that, Y/N…”
“And why do you doubt that?” You giggled.
“Because. I have a hard time taking my eyes off your lips, I can only imagine how hard it would be to take my lips off of them…” he smirked a little, laughing through his nose.
“You’re fuckin’ stoned.” You laughed, leaning your face onto his hand.
“And? I speak nothing but the truth, baby.”
“Mmmhm, yeah. Shut up.” You complained.
“I’m serious. I bet you really are a good kisser. That guy was just…stupid.”
“Maybe I’m a horrible kisser, how would I ever know?” You shrugged, feeling your body about to jump out of your skin simply from having this conversation with Josh.
He held his first two fingers up, motioning for you to come here. “Come on. Show me how you like to kiss.”
“What?! No, I’m not gonna do that.” You blushed, pulling away from him with shyness.
“Baby, it’s me. I’m just trying to judge your kissing skills. I’ll be completely honest with you, tell you if that guy was right or not.” Josh said, holding his hands out to the sides.
You stopped, staring at Josh through your slit eyelids, trying to figure him out. He met you with sincere eyes, and though you were both extremely intoxicated, you didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least.
“I’m serious. Just kiss me.” He said matter of factly. “S’no big deal.”
You took a deep breath, feeling the air surrounding you heavy with normalcy, but also heavy with yearning.
You slowly pulled yourself in closer to him, gently wetting your lips as your mind went back and forth on whether or not to do this. Your breath became a little chopped, nerves bursting through the wall of your drunken carelessness.
Finally you were close enough to feel his breath on your lips, and your hands naturally shot up to cup his jaw. He clenched it, his eyes falling heavy again as his breath caught. Your heart was absolutely pounding from your chest.
“Do it.” He whispered. “Show me.”
You finally let your lips press gently to his, your hands still cupping his jaw, as his hands sat comfortably in his lap. The feeling of them was exactly what you had imagined, soft, supple, and sweet, with the tiniest bit of sting on them from the leftover liquor. You finally exhaled, pulling away a bit to gauge his reaction.
“You can get into it, baby.” He smiled, urging you to push through your nerves. “I’m just here to help, s’just me…” his voice was like honey, the sound of it tearing through your body as he motivated you.
You leaned in again, this time letting yourself be a little more brazen, a little more steadfast as you worked to prove your ex wrong. Worked to impress Josh. Worked to show him. You opened your mouth a little, letting your tongue skirt across his bottom lip. The flavor of him almost knocked you down.
You began to get into it some more, letting your high take over, and letting your guard down as you found yourself really, really enjoying kissing him. You perched up a little bit moving to your knees to get a better stance.
“Mmmhmm… keep goin’ baby…” Josh mumbled when you broke away for a second. His words urged you on, and you felt brave enough to push your tongue further into his mouth, but only a little. You didn’t want to overwhelm, just experiment. His tongue met yours in the process, tasting each other for the very first time.
Your hands curled up in his hair, squeezing at the roots a bit. He let out a little whine, so quiet that you almost didn’t even hear it. It ignited something inside you again, and you knew you had to drive it home. Had to prove yourself. You pulled away for a second, hissing in air as you bit his bottom lip, pulling it out a little and making eye contact before pressing into him again, both of you moving in such unison that you were fully involved in the sultry kiss, now.
At this point you felt like you were teetering on the thin line of platonic kissing; you were still trying to prove yourself, but also…he tasted so good…
You felt the need to be touched. You reached down and grabbed Josh’s wrists, pulling them up to rest on you- one hand on your thigh, and the other around the back of your neck. You wanted reciprocation. He obliged, and as you licked into his mouth, his hand squeezed into your thigh, strong and needing. His fingers felt like burning embers on your leg, and you wished that you had changed into shorts when you got home.
His hand pulled at the back of your neck, burying your mouths further into one another. “Fuck, baby…he was wrong, you proved him so wrong…” Josh said, smiling against your lips as he delved back in. Your mind was swimming from his words of praise, and you decided that though this was simply an act between friends, you knew that you could kiss him all day long, never tiring of the feeling of his lips on yours. You were completely surrounded by him, by his warming presence. His scent, his sounds, his touch… It was all too much. You felt like you were drowning in him, but you didn’t dare try to pull yourself from his waters.
Your hands squeezed at his hair one last time as you let them drift down his cheeks and neck, tickling the back of his neck before rolling across his shoulders. You slowly brought them down to his pecs, and finally rested them on his cheeks again, pulling his face away from yours for a split second before landing one last peck.
When you finally disconnected, you took in the sight of him…hair disheveled, eyes black and glazed, and his hands still rested gently in the places that you put them.
“Holy fuck…” he breathed.
“Oh my god, was it bad? It was bad, wasn’t it? He was right, I’m a horrible kis—“ you were completely cut off by Josh’s lips on yours again, this time forcefully pulling you into him. This kiss was pleading, unbridled, and wanting, and each time you pulled away, you both were panting with want.
“What the fuck are we doing?” You breathed when you broke away.
“Kissing contest.” He answered, his hand respectfully staying on the back of your neck. “I think I’m winning, though…”
“Mmm, I don’t know about that…” you said with a bit more confidence in yourself after seeing how you made him feel.
“Yeah you’re right.” He agreed through an inhale. “You’re kicking my ass at this experiment.” He drove his tongue into your mouth again, but it didn’t make you want to retract…it made you want to pull it in further. You began to feel the heat that the two of you were emanating, and the sweat that was forming on your skin.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely turned on, but you would never let him know that. You couldn’t. You’re just friends. One friend helping another get over his ex by having a kissing contest. Makes total sense.
Finally you pulled away again, covering your mouth with your hand. You laughed, making Josh in turn laugh with you. “Well? What’s the verdict? Was he right?” You asked.
“Fuck no, he wasn’t right. You’re a hell of a kisser, Y/N.” Josh’s smile stretched all the way across his face, completely blissed out in his high. “God damn, you left me a panting mess, baby.”
Your heart stopped at his words, feeling more confidence in yourself than you’d felt in a long, long time. Suddenly, the wildest idea to ever come across your mind escaped right through your lips.
“Josh, we’re just good friends, right?” You asked.
“Yeah, baby. Real good friends.” He wiped his hand across his mouth before extending both arms across the back of your couch.
“Do you—do you care if I finish what I started?” You asked in an absolute moment of weakness. The look on his face turned up into surprise, and you weren’t sure how he was going to react to your question.
“What uh, what do you mean, Y/N?”
You moved toward him again, wanting to feel him again. Feel his hands on you again. Be the center of all his attention again.
“Can you judge something else for me, Josh? I’ve always wondered how well I…performed…and who better to be the judge than my very good friend? Who will be completely honest with me?”
WHO even are you?! You felt like a person outside your own body. The confidence he was giving you was…
“This ain’t no way to treat the broken-hearted, baby…” he replied, his voice a soft breath of air as his head lulled backwards. You paused again, unsure how to take him. “But I’ll be your judge…”
“Really? You will?” You asked, feeling vulnerable, but also wanting to show out for him.
“Mhm. If that’s what you really want…” He bit his lower lip into his mouth, letting his eyes fall onto your lips like they had been doing all night.
“Just friends…” you reiterated.
“Just friends.” He parroted, lightly tapping your cheek with his hand.
This was absolutely something you never did, and definitely wasn’t something you could ever even see yourself doing with Josh, of all people. You were supposed to be making him forget about his ex, letting him talk through it… hell, he was just dumped twenty-four hours ago. But there was something other-worldly spurring you on, whispering in your ear to just do it. And he was letting you. Was it wrong? Maybe, probably… but honestly, where was the harm in it? You were both obviously into each other, and as long as you were just making each other happy, you didn’t see anything wrong with it.
Besides, this new need to make him think about nothing but you at every single second was making your head spin, and you wanted his focus completely on you, right now. You moved to press your lips to his again, letting things naturally heat up so that you could continue on with your intentions. You took a deep breath, confidently removing yourself, and placing yourself in the floor in front of him. It was at this second that you were extremely thankful for your liquid courage, and the fact that you were too stoned to care about much else besides pleasing Josh. He almost made it easy.
“Ten.” Josh said out of nowhere.
“What?” you asked.
“I give your kissing a ten out of ten. Seriously.” He said, smiling from the corner of his mouth as he ran his hand along your arm, peering down at you as you kneeled on the floor.
You felt your face turn beet red, and you halfway didn’t really believe him.
“Stop playing, you don’t have to be nice.” You erred.
“M’not just being nice. Seriously, I rate it a ten.” He stated, and you knew by the sincerity in his voice that he was telling the truth.
“Wow. Didn’t expect that, honestly.” you pulled a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Now, you gonna finish what ya started, or not?” There was a darkness in his tone that you hadn’t noticed yet, and it made your stomach turn over with nerves. But even more so, it lit a fuse in your chest that was slowly burning, ready to explode at any given second. And with each passing minute, you wanted to impress him even more.
You maneuvered yourself on your knees, gripping his thighs and pulling them apart so that you could place yourself between them. Your hands stayed there on his legs, squeezing and kneading at his muscles as you moved your hands closer and closer to where you both really wanted them to be. You could almost physically see him getting harder through his dark jeans, and you could hear his breathing picking up, too.
You let your hands drift to his groin, squeezing the muscles there as he leaned down in his seat, giving you extra space as his head fell back on the cushions. You found the button on his jeans, pulling the fabric sideways and undoing the button with one hand and unzipping the zipper. “Damn, alright…” Josh laughed, holding his hands up. “Show off.”
You took that as a tiny win, and decided to keep it going, playing on his words from earlier. ‘You keep me guessing at every turn…’
You pushed your hair back behind your shoulders, and leaned yourself down, letting your mouth meet his boxer-covered dick. You nipped your teeth lightly at it, making him hiss. You could tell just from this little bit of contact that he was well-endowed, and you felt your mouth physically watering for him. You needed to taste him. Your lips bounced around, peppering little kisses all over… the indirect contact making his hips jut up a little.
You sat back, motioning with your hands. “Pull them down for me.” you demanded of him, and he gave you the sneakiest smirk, leaning back and pushing his pants and boxers down far enough to spring himself free.
You weren’t wrong. He was perfectly sized, and it reassured you that you were okay with going forward with this. What you did notice, though, was he wasn’t as hard as you wanted him to be. Your hands rested on his thighs again as you sized him up, licking your lips as you prepared yourself.
Josh had been the one urging you on all night, but suddenly, it felt like there had been a little bit of a shift. You finally brought your moistened lips to him, licking little circles around his tip, starting slowly at first, then picking up a little bit of speed. You swirled and gently suckled, and you felt him take in a big breath of air into his lungs. You glanced up at him, finding him looking up at the ceiling as he bit his lips.
“What’sa matter, Josh? You okay?” you pressed, knowing that you could stop at any second, if that was what he wanted.
“No, yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I just… this is the first time someone else…since…” he didn’t need to say anything more.
“God, yeah. I’m sorry, your breakup is so fresh, I’m sure this is more mental than anything, for you…” you agreed as you sat back. “We don’t have to–”
“No. Yes we do, Y/N. I’m just…” You could tell Josh was having a hard time with his words again, for the second time tonight.
“Just what? You can tell me…”
He swallowed, placing a sweet hand on the side of your face. “This is the first time I’ve um…been…with a woman…in a very long time.”
“Oh.” You muttered, his sentiment catching you off guard a little. You hadn’t realized you never even asked the name of his ex, let alone any details about the relationship.
“But it’s okay, Y/N…” He smiled, letting his thumb brush your cheek. “I may be wallowing in my sorrows, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want this, want you to do this. Just…in my head a little bit.” He admitted, putting a hole through your heart.
You sighed. “It doesn’t feel wrong?” Your voice was tiny as it escaped you.
He quickly shook his head side to side as he layed back on his elbow behind his head. “No. That’s what’s making me freak out a little, it doesn’t feel wrong in the least.” He swallowed. “Maybe I…Maybe I wasn’t as in love as I thought I was.”
You smiled a pitiful smile as you rested your elbows on his knees, taking a deep, recentering breath of your own.
“You’re really fuckin’ pretty, Y/N.” He complimented you out of the blue, his thumb still grazing your cheek. “And I’m really into you.”
“You are?” You asked.
“Yeah. I know we said we’re friends, but friends can do this. Right? Doesn’t stop the fact that I’m attracted to you.” His glossy words made your stomach do flips again as you realized maybe his feelings were the exact same as yours. Unexplainable, but still overwhelmingly good.
“Yeah. I really think friends can do this.” You agreed. And you were serious. If you were going to be this person for Josh, then he could also in turn be this person for you.
“Plus, the feeling of your lips on my cock just now…” He laughed through his nose. “Might be in competition with your ten out of ten kissing. And you hadn’t even…” He stopped there, biting both his lips into his mouth as he slid his hips down again.
Good god, you’d hoped he would have a little bit of a dirty mouth.
“You want me to keep going?” You asked.
“Fuck yeah, I do. I gotta judge your skill, don’t I?” He played, removing his hand from your cheek and running it through your hair. He gripped it a little, making you stiffen your neck. Your eyes flashed to his, and you didn’t even need to say anything, he knew what you meant. He nodded, giving you the go ahead, and you prayed that he wouldn’t remove his hand from tangling up in your hair.
You slowly leaned down to him again, starting things up just as you had before. Your tongue swirled on his tip, wetting it in circles as you let the saliva build up in your mouth. Around and around you took it, descending further and further onto him with every rotation. You heard him breathe out, his hips shaking a little beneath you. As you got as far as you could get, you pursed your lips down, tightening them around the base of his cock before sucking hard, pulling up and off of him completely. His hand tightened in your hair, showing you that he was liking it so far.
He let out a groan, followed by a little laugh. “Fuck yeah, Y/N…”
You quickly found a rhythm, letting your head begin to bob as you worked your tongue and cheeks, alternating forceful suction mixed with light little pops of your lips. His hips were jutting with every movement, and the sounds that were coming from him were enough to keep you going, keep you striving to impress him…
You took him in your hand, gripping at the base and using the saliva that had dripped down as lubrication to move your hand, twisting and pumping it. “Jesus Christ, you’re…” You took a second to glance up at him, seeing his jaw tightly clenched and his chest heaving with labored breaths. He brought his other hand down, pulling the hair that had drifted down away from your face, pulling it all back to the nape of your neck and holding it tightly there. You nodded, letting him know you were okay with him guiding your movements.
“Mhm.” You hummed on him. “Show me how you like it.”
He let out a choke of breath and readjusted in his seat, spreading his legs wider for you. He gripped a little harder on your hair, pulling you up and across his stomach, your faces almost touching as he brought his mouth close. He didn’t say anything, just hissed through his teeth as he scanned over your face. He then used a little bit of force to push your head back down to where it was, and you resumed your work.
Fuck, what the hell is happening… your chemistry with Josh was absolutely off the chain. You felt like you would follow every command he would ever give you, let him use you in the worst ways, completely trusting him to do as he pleased. You were absolutely yearning to satisfy him.
“I’ll show you exactly how I like it baby, but this is your show, remember? You’re calling the shots…” he growled, his voice deeper and more grating than it was earlier. You shrugged one shoulder, replacing your hand around his base. You moved it up and down opposite of your mouth, making his whole body start to shake. Your tongue worked on him, as your mouth drifted down as far as it could possibly go, with the help of Josh’s light guidance.
The weed had contributed to your slow, languid movements while the alcohol made your inhibitions fly out the window… the beautiful combo of the crossfade sending you both into a blurry and slow-motioned entanglement. You swore you could listen to his noises and praises on repeat. “So fuckin’ pretty, Y/N… so fuckin’ pretty…” He mumbled, lightly thrusting himself into your mouth as your neck began to ache a little. “Slow and steady, just like that…”
He puffed out a quick breath with a blow of his lips, and you could tell that he was enjoying himself just as much as you were. Normally, you would finish up the job, and expect repayment, but getting Josh to even feel the tiniest bit of pleasure at your hand was enough. It was that draw, that need to make him feel good. Keeping him and him only in the spotlight. And if you had to guess, you were doing a pretty good job at it.
After a few seconds, his movements became jostled, and his once slow grinding movements started to falter. You felt him start to throb in your mouth, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until he was crumbling beneath you, all at the mercy of your mouth.
“Hey, you want me to–” he said, suddenly shuddering.
You nodded again, pleading with him to let it all go. You wanted the whole thing, wanted him to have the full experience. You needed to see what he tasted like.
His breath started to pick up as he gripped your hair tighter, his hips pushing his dick further into your mouth as you let him graze the back of your throat, tears pouring from the sides of your eyes. “Come on baby, come on… just a little bit longer…fuck…”
Finally, he was letting it all go, filling up your mouth as you swallowed his bitter-sweetness down, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. His whole body went rigid as he came, shaking and jerking as you worked to make sure not a drop was left behind. You squeezed your hand around him, pulling him up into your mouth. His whines were like music to your ears, pathetic and pitiful as he worked to come back down to earth.
“Son of a bitch, Y/N… that was…” he said as you sat back up, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand. He caught your jaw in his grasp, squeezing your cheeks together and forcing you to open your mouth. He pulled you closer, bringing you in for a heated kiss that left you smoldering for him.
When you finally pulled away, you met eyes with him, and you could tell he was completely blissed out. “S’been a long time since I’ve had anything like that.” He admitted, pulling your back up to sit by him on the couch again.
He tucked himself back in his boxers but decided to forgo buttoning back up. “Really? Even in a four and a half year long relationship?” You asked.
“Ah, I dunno. We were long distance, so… it was few and far between but. Really I meant being with someone who actually showed passion about making me feel good. You know what I mean?”
You couldn’t help but smile. That was exactly what you wanted out of this. For Josh to feel that you wanted to be there.
“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I just…wanted to make you feel good.” You admitted, shrugging one shoulder up as you brushed your disheveled hair back into place. “So, what’s my rating, huh? Give it to me straight.”
Josh closed one eye and looked up with the other as if he was thinking really hard. “Uh, nine and a half.”
Your mouth fell slack, and you felt the soreness in your jaw joints. “Ah! Why the half?!” You argued. “Not a ten?”
He chuckled. “Would be a ten, but I only took away the half because I know that I won’t be able to feel you like that all the time.” You both stared at one another as you let his words sink in.
Could you, though?
“And because I feel like you were holding back, a little. Weren’t you?” He pressed. His statement took you by surprise, because he was right.
“...Maybe…”
“You shouldn’t have. It’s just me, remember. Guess you’ll have to show up and show out next time. See if you can get a perfect ten.” He said with nonchalance.
“Next time?” You spat without a thought.
He shrugged, squeezing his hand around your thigh. “Sure, why not? If you want to, of course. Might be fun to have a little situation we’re both comfortable with… no strings attached type thing…”
You ran over the idea in your head, not really seeing anything wrong with it. You nodded, agreeing with his outlandish proposal.
“But, there is one thing, Y/N.” He swallowed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Obviously I… um. I didn’t make you feel good, tonight. But, just give me some–”
You cupped your hand over Josh’s mouth. “Josh, honey, shut up. You don’t have to explain it to me. I understand, and it’s okay. If we’re gonna do this, it's all gonna be in good fun, right?”
He nodded from behind your hand. “Right.” He mumbled.
“And I certainly didn’t feel uncomfortable with you, so. I’m pretty positive we could just sit here and look at each other and we would have a good time.” You laughed, pulling your hand from his face. He caught your hand in his, and gave it a sweet squeeze.
“Not sure I’d be able to sit by you for too long without something happening. You’re a fuckin’ treat, Y/N. I swear.” His eyes traveled down your body again, and you watched his gears turn as his gaze drifted over your breasts. “Thank you, for tonight.”
“Thank you.” You whispered. “We still friends?”
He took your chin between his fingers. “Yeah. Good friends.”
As the air between you finally started to settle and the intoxication turned into sobriety, you realized that the night was nearly about to turn into morning. You didn’t have to be at work until 11, so you were going to be able to get at least a little bit of sleep before your shift tomorrow.
“It’s too late to get an Uber, Josh. Just stay here.” You more demanded than suggested, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and tossing it overtop of his lap. You stood, stretching your body as you made your way toward your bedroom.
“What, you not gonna invite me to your bed?” He asked, throwing you off.
“Uhh, I mean, sure–”
“I’m kidding, Y/N. We’re friends. Friends don’t sleep in beds together. Friends sleep on couches.” You watched as he burrowed himself under the puffy blanket and made himself horizontal.
“Maybe one day you’ll end up in my bed.” You tossed the joke over your shoulder, walking down the short hallway.
“And maybe one day you’ll get a perfect ten.”
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Comfort Films Tag
Rules: List 7 of your comfort movies, then tag 7 people.
Tagged by @callipigio
1 - Shelter (2007)
I often joke around here about how I’ve been watching queer cinema for over half of my life at this point, and it’s easy to recommend this film. This is a coming of age film about a guy who gave up art school to become the primary breadwinner and caregiver for his family. However, when the older brother of his best friend returns to their town to collect himself, our artist and he reconnect and find something special between them. Great use of a young actor in this shores up the caregiving aspects.
I’m probably going to rewatch it now. Because it was produced by Here! TV, you can only legally watch it via a subscription to their platform. I own it on DVD because I fell in love with it and knew I needed to keep it forever.
2 - Big Eden (2000)
Big Eden. Oh, Big Eden. This is the film equivalent of a warm blanket and a tight hug. It’s about an artist named Henry Hart, who is preparing for a big exhibition in New York when he’s called back home to Montana because his uncle has had a stroke. We are greatest with the most queer-friendly town to ever exist as Henry manages his old angst about his straight best friend as the local general store owner also secretly pursues him. It’s absolutely lovely.
3 - The Blues Brothers (1980)
Luna has great taste, because this is one of the best films ever made. What was originally just an SNL bit turns into a fun road film about getting the band back together so that two brothers can raise enough money to pay the back taxes owed by the orphanage they grew up in. We also run over Illinois nazis in this movie and demolish dozens of cop cars. Cab Calloway, James Brown, Carrie Fisher, Chaka Khan, Paul Reubens, and Aretha Franklin are in it. John Candy orders orange whips. This is the kind of film I would watch with my dad any time it was on.
4 - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
This is one of the most man movies ever made. I don’t know any woman who wants to sit down and watch this film, but me and boys will spend an entire afternoon on this film in a heartbeat. The sexual tension between Russell Crowe’s and Paul Bettany’s characters goes unremarked on this website in a way that lets you know for sure this hellsite is dominated by femmes, because those two have definitely fucked. At least twice. It’s 1805 and oceans have become battlefields!
5 - Clue (1985)
A movie based on the board game of the same name should not have been this good, but it instead goes on to become a camp masterpiece. Many people will end up remembering Tim Curry for Rocky Horror or even Muppet Treasure Island, but this is still one of his favorite performances for me. This film is batshit and I love it.
6 - Camp (2003)
Speaking of camp films, let’s talk about one of the best of all time. I know we often talk about the bad singing in Thai BL, but I unironically love all of the musical theater in this film. I regularly listen to this soundtrack, and have been for over 15 years. It’s a film about a bunch of weird theater kids who get to escape the bullying and hellishness of their lives for a few weeks during the summer, where they get to put on a bunch of classic plays. It’s so camp. I love this film because it was difficult for me to find queer films that had happy components with them, and this little movie has a wide array of queer kids in it.
7 - Make The Yuletide Gay (2009)
This was the first queer film I ever watched that had a happy ending that was also a comedy. Prior to this, I think I had watched Beautiful Thing (1996), Edge of Seventeen (1998), Get Real (1998), and Bent (1997). Most of those films ended resolved or sad. Yuletide is a silly little gay film of almost nonstop innuendo about a guy who goes back into the closet when he returns home for Christmas, but hijinks ensue when his boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. It’s an annual watch for me around the holidays, and I usually host people for it.
Also, Adamo Ruggiero is in it! He played Marco on Degrassi: The Next Generation.
This was fun! I think most folks have been tagged that I know, but I’ll tag @warningtothecurious. If anyone else does this, please tag me back if you do this! I want to know what films you all return to.
#tag meme#comfort films#shelter 2007#make the yuletide gay#big eden#the blues brothers#camp 2003#clue 1985#master and commander#Ben watches#ben writes
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A New Version of Daddy
TW: Non-con, psedo- incest, like one spank, forced impregnation, semi yandere, mentions of kiddnaping
Matsukawa x fem!reader
Summary: Y/n catches her step father doing something bad ;)
AN: Part of a collab for @hanmas sorry this is a gazzilion years late!! Also I made a discord server for my dark content!! I have an age robot in my server so feel free to joinif you are 18+ !!
Gen Taglist: Open!
Word count 1.2k
Third Person Pov
Her small chubby fingers wrapped around the balls as she moved quicker. Her heart was beating faster and faster. The sweat dripped down her face. She licked the corners of her mouth as she continued. Bent over for everyone to see exactly what she was up too under those bleachers.
“Y/n are you done yet? I want to go home.” A girl whined from outside of the bleachers.
“Yeah I was just grabbing the last ball. It rolled under the bleachers somehow.”
Matsukawa watched the young girl walk closer as he felt his pants grow tight.
“Hey Dad! Where’s mom?” Y/n asked as she caught up to him.
“Oh she couldn’t make it tonight boo, but you did great!” Matsukawa said to her.
“Yeah cause being the ball girl is so hard Dad.” Y/n laughed.
“You should really try out next summer, Y/n. I’m sure the coach would love to see your skills!”
“I’m too busy with work and my summer semester, Yukie.” Y/n laughed.
Yukie and Y/n were just finishing up a semester at Tokyo University. The two were now on summer break but Y/n chose to do more school.
Matsukawa cleared his throat as he watched the two jump in the back seat of his car. He drove to drop Yukie off listening to the girls giggle and talk about the hot guys on their campus. Matsukawa couldn't help but to feel jealous of the boys y/n spoke about.
After Matsukawa dropped off Yukie, Y/n jumped in the front seat. Matsukawa adjusted himself, still hard as a rock.
“Hey Dad?”
“What's up, boo?”
“Do you think Mom cares anymore about us? She’s never around for anything. I get not showing up to see your kid be a ball girl, but I mean she didn’t even show up to my Dean’s list ceremony at school last week.”
“She means well boo, I know she does.” He said using his signature nickname for y/n once again.
“If you say so, Dad.”
The two drove in silence for a bit till Y/n spoke up again.
“I can’t imagine you two are still in love after her always being off who knows where. Heck I can only imagine how many other men she's slept with in just the last 10 years.”
“Excuse me?” Matsukawa asked with a hint of anger.
“Think about how many business trips she's taken all these years. It's just common sense.”
The car pulled to a halt.
“Get out and walk home.” Matsukawa spat. He wasn’t necessarily angry she had called out her mother like so, it was more of the disrespect to him that he was mad about.
“No! Fuck that!” Y/n spat, crossing her arms.
“Get the fuck OUT OF MY CAR!” He screamed in her face.
“You’re not my real Dad. I don’t have to listen to you.” She mocked.
“I’ve been the only Dad you’ve known since you were 14. Therefore you have to listen to me. I am your father.”
“Gross. I am only getting out cause I want to.” She said as she slammed the door.
Matsukawa thought back on his drive home how the fight was completely pointless. He wasn’t mad y/n’s mom wasn’t around, in fact he was much more interested in y/n. Ever since she went off to college something changed about her that he liked. Something about her breasts in all those low cut shirts and her ass in those booty shorts she always wore around the house. He felt himself getting hard once again.
“Fuck” He siad to himself in the emty vehicle.
He pulled up in front of their small home and exited his car. He rushed inside racing up to his bedroom. Forgetting to lock his bedroom door, he whipped off his pants and began to stroke his cock.
Y/n was still walking home, when it started to rain out of nowhere.
“Come on! You can’t give me one win today? This is so damn cliche.” She shouted at the sky.
The rain poured buckets down on her as she trudged home. By the time she walked up to the door she was freezing and wet.
Y/n threw off her shoes and dripped up the stairs to Matsukawa’s room.
She slammed Matsukawa’s door open just as he let out a moan calling for y/n.
“Umm…. It’s not what it looks like?” Matsukawa said, cock still in hand.
“Well it looks like you were beating your meat to your step daughter.” Y/n replied sassily.
“I mean… yes? But also no?” Matsukawa said, sounding unsure of himself.
Y/n looked down at her wet clothes and back to Matsukawa’s cock.
“Oh fuck this.” She said, about to leave the room. “I’m calling mom.”
The last three words sparked something in Matsukawa. He couldn’t have her mother find out, not only would she think its creepy but she might call the cops on him and get a restraining order. He could not be without y/n.
Matsukawa moved quickly on his feet and over to where the soaking wet Y/n was. He grabbed her by the hips and slammed her against the wall, taking the phone from her hand. He threw the phone across the room as he grabbed onto her neck.
“You listen here you little bitch. I raised you as my own for years and I have put up with your disrespect. From this moment forward you will only refer to me as daddy.”
Matsukawa ripped off her uniform shirt in one swift tug. He pulled down her shorts and panties, leaving her only in a bra. He let go of her neck as he unclasped her bra.
“Please… I won’t tell mom.” Y/n said through tears.
“Oh I know you won’t. Now get on the bed on all fours like a good little bitch.” He ordered.
Y/n shook her head no. Matsukawa felt his anger build up even more. He grabbed her arm as he roughly tossed her at the bed. She just missed as she slipped and fell just ver the side of the bed.
“This works too since you don’t want to listen.”
He grabbed his belt from the nightstand and quickly wrapped it around both of her wrists. She whimpered out at the tightness. Now that he was resting against her, she could feel how big his cock really was. She felt him shuffle around, lining up the tip with her pussy.
“Please Issei… It won’t fit.” She babbled out.
She felt a heavy hand land hard down on her right ass cheek.
“I told you it was Daddy from now on, you bitch.”
She sniffled in response. He stood there, teasing her entrance listening to her whine out for a few minutes. Just when she began to calm her crying down, he slammed into her with his entire length. Y/n cried out,
“Ple-please no.” She begged. He began to move at a rough pace, taking almost his entire length out before slamming his massive cock back in. “Sto-stop.”
“Tell me bitch, do your college boys fuck you this good? I know the answer is no.” Matsukawa felt himself getting close. “I’m gonna cum inside you and make you carry my child.” He whispered in her ear just before he came. Y/n felt her stomach swell up from dubious amount of cum inside of her.
Matsukawa grabbed Y/n by the hips and tossed her up on the bed. He climbed up beside her sobbing figure and wrapped his arms around her. Her arms were still tied behind her back.
“Just gonna stay like this for now…. at least till I am ready to put you in the basement.”
“What…why?” She asked through tears.
“Cause you are never leaving me. Your mom will never find you, you’ll never see your friends again, and I have the perfect plan to make sure that happens…. I can’t wait for little Issei jr.” He said right as he kissed Y/n on the lips.
#haikyuu dark content#tw noncon#tw dark fic#haikyuu smut#tw dubcon#yandere haikyuu#bnha smut#bnha dark content#tw dubious consent#tw dark content#discord server#brattymoon masterlist💗
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Favorite TV 2023
Succession + The Bear: I can’t choose between my fucked up, messy children. Both shows were just so phenomenally brilliant this year, I cannot be held responsible for the amount of gifsets I have reblogged from both.
Reservation Dogs: Gonna miss this show so, so, so much. I will never stop recommending this show to anyone who will listen. It’s so lovely, so warm, so funny, so human.
Somebody Somewhere: Res Dogs might be over, but this show is here to take up the mantle of quiet celebration of small midwest communities with big, beautiful hearts and goofy senses of humor. Don’t sleep on this one, guys!
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Am I putting SNW this high on the list partly because I still feel bad I forgot it on last year’s list? Or because it’s an absolute delight that made me fall in love with Star Trek again? Why not both?! They did a goddamn musical episode, guys! Spock had a whole song about math!!!!!!!!
Slow Horses: Secret MVP of the Apple TV lineup. Pure pulpy fun.
Doctor Who Specials: Despite being an active part of Superwholock on this here website back in ye olden times, I fell off with Doctor Who somewhere in the Capaldi years and never checked back in. Even when it was announced RTD, Tennant & Tate were coming back I must admit I rolled my eyes a bit, assumed the worst, and didn’t give it much thought. And then approximately five minutes into the first special, when Ten Fourteen first sees Donna, I immediately started crying and realized that maybe I needed this, they needed this, we all needed this, and that despite all of its inherent silliness, Doctor Who still has the ability to be just absolutely special in a way few other shows can. I’m back in, baby, and totally psyched for what Ncuti Gatwa is going to do.
Jury Duty: Was very nervous about how this one was going to go, to be honest. The premise seemed a bit mean-spririted, and in less thoughtful hands this could have really gone a different way. But it wasn’t agonizing at all - it actually turned out to be an endearing celebration of kindness and human decency, and honestly we could all do with more of that these days.
Barry: But hey, if an endearing celebration of kindness and human decency isn’t up your alley, then boy is Barry is the show for you! It really was bleak AF in its final run but it turns out Bill Hader is an even better filmmaker than he is a comic actor (and he is an amazing comic actor, to be clear!)
How To with John Wilson: This show has always been so weird, so surprising, so surreal, so authentically New York. You never knew what kind of journey you were going to go on with John Wilson and his camera, but you always knew you were always going to have a great time - I will miss it very much.
Honorable Mentions:
Watching Through My Fingers: Beef, The Last of Us
Sometimes a Nostalgia Play Can Be Good, Actually: Party Down, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Justified: City Primeval
Sometimes All You Need Are Shows that Make You Smile: Starstruck, Shrinking, Only Murders in the Building, Minx
Always a Fun, Goofy Time: The Righteous Gemstones, Star Trek Lower Decks, What We Do In The Shadows
Feels Weird Putting a Show That Hasn’t Finished Its Season Yet on a Best of List (what if gets bad at the end?!) but I’ve Been Loving It So Far: Fargo
Batshit Insane (Complimentary): Mrs. Davis
Kinda Dumb But I Love It Anyway: The Gilded Age
+
Special Shoutout to Billions, which never really makes these lists but I thought had a super fun final season and has always been reliably entertaining for its whole run.
Previous Years
#tv23#television#succession#the bear#somebody somewhere#star trek snw#slow horses#doctor who#jury duty
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What I’ve Been Watching This Year
by Isobelle Cruz [April 13, 2023]
March has passed and I figure it’s too late to follow through with a post on the female directors I love, so instead, here’s a short list of the shows and films I’ve been watching this year in no specific order.
Beef (2023)
Directed by Lee Sung Jin
My most recent and favorite watch…lo and behold, Beef. A show about two extremely vulnerable and flawed people masking themselves through pride and borderline pettiness. Beef has it all from road rage, heist, and arson, to child abduction.
The Netflix Original starring Ali Wong and Steven Yeung features some of the most lonely characters I’ve seen on film. Danny Cho is a struggling self-proclaimed contractor that works every opportunity he’s given to keep him and his brother afloat while also standing by his promise to buy their parents a house in Los Angeles. With all of that weight at hand, Danny resorts to attempts at suicide and at the perfect time, meets Amy Lau—a woman just as lonely, struggling, and desperate at life as Danny.
But I promise you, it is not as touching as I made it out to be.
Danny and Amy take turns attacking each other after a road rage incident—pissing in Amy’s bathroom floor, vandalizing Danny’s truck, breaking into her house, fucking his brother, kidnapping her daughter—it never seems to end. … Until it does, in the middle of nowhere. The final episode of Danny and Amy in the Deserts reminded me of animals in the wild, a representation of what humans are in the grand scheme of it all. Beef is a must-watch for the hot-tempered, prideful Asians out there who are looking to see themselves on screen
Aftersun (2022)
Directed by Charlotte Wells
Aftersun was an experience. It was uneventful yet somehow spoke so much to me about the joys I’ve been holding myself back from and continue to do. I’d say that Aftersun is so well-loved because of how much it’s able to connect with its audience, despite their varying experiences in life.
It reminded me so much of a trip I had gone on with my father when I was about the same age as Sophie. It’s happened, it’s passed, and I can’t say it really made a drastic impact on my life. But it was there. It is now a memory—which is exactly what the film was. Instead of showing a major turning point in the protagonist’s life, it showed a memory, and it was enough for me to love.
Daisy Jones & the Six (2023)
Directed by James Ponsoldt, Nzingha Stewart, and Will Graham
Let me start off by saying how rich the production for Daisy Jones & the Six was, firstly through their music. I still remember when I first got my hands on the book and searched the band on Spotify, knowing very well that no results would come up, but now there they are—-with 3 million monthly listeners and 24 songs released.
Although the production and marketing went beyond my expectations, the writing seemed to lack, unable to show depth and establish the characters’ relationships with each other. The show went straight to the point, as though the writers had been scared of losing the audience’s attention by putting more focus on the little things, which I would doubt. It lacked the craziness that was found in the book. It lacked the drugs, women, fans, and the skyrocketing feel of their career that were always present in Reed’s works.
Nonetheless, these things never dragged down my rating of the show. It was interesting to finally see what Daisy and Billy’s chemistry looked like on screen and hear their lyrics come to life, which were, oh, so difficult to read on paper. Amazon Prime did its job to reach DJATS fans’ expectations and to entertain newcomers to the fictional band. — Let’s just hope Netflix does the same for Evelyn Hugo.
Suzume (2023)
Directed by Makoto Shinkai
My first anime experience in the cinema. Suzume’s soundtrack blasting from the speakers and Makoto Shinkai’s breathtaking art displayed before me brought this urge to jump through the screen. The atmosphere his art carried through the room was something I wish I could do with my own works.
Throughout the whole watch, it didn’t come to me that this was a love story between two people. There was that obvious crush Suzume had on Sōta, but it surprises me to hear a few people refer to this film as romance. It was moreover an emotional adventure, shining light on the lost souls that have made inches of the world alive.
My favorite scene, before Sōta is turned into a keystone, wherein Tokyo is shown in slow-motion with people going through their everyday lives—eating, shopping, and commuting–-while not knowing their world was on the brink of end, made me ponder of the unseen things that make life the way it is. Everything that has brought everyone to where they are.
There had been times when Suzume and Sōta would prepare to lock up a door once again and I’d think to myself, when will this end? It was as though listening to a song that would repeat the same line over and over again, but besides that, the pacing was captivating---had my eyes stuck to the screen the whole time.
Suzume is exactly what you would expect from Makoto Shinkai. Beautiful art, music, and an okay story.
Babylon (2023)
Directed by Damien Chazelle
Ask me if I’m tired of watching films set in Hollywood and I would likely say yes. But that doesn’t stop me from doing just so over and over again. It surprised me to see how negative the reviews on Babylon have been and almost allowed myself to be swayed by them, but thankfully, had chosen otherwise.
Although I do see where some of the negativity comes from.
The film has been branded as “ Chazelle’s attempt to pander to the Academy for another best pic nomination” by audiences, and as yet another film showing off the lavish and wild lives of Hollywood. Inequality, drugs, women, abuse, and everything. What’s new?
Well, I don’t really care about what’s new or what makes Babylon a poorly-made knockoff of Cinema Paradiso or Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Chazelle was able to keep me entertained and laughing throughout its 3-hour duration, and sometimes it gets really tiring trying to make cinema a technical experience. I can proudly say (shaking as I type this) that I loved Babylon.
#babylon#suzume#anime#aftersun#djats#beef#ali wong#steven yeun#film review#anime review#makoto shinkai#netflix original#beef netflix#damien chazelle#taylor jenkins reid#book to film#book to series#book to screen#2023 movies#2023 shows#paul mescal#lee sung jin#charlotte wells#danny cho#amy lau#margot robbie#brad pitt#diego calva#daisy jones#billy dunne
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I’ve had Cabin Pressure saved on my phone for fucking ages by now. I downloaded it back in early July, I think. I had the idea that I had gone through most of my list of things to watch/listen to, and I wanted some new long-running audio thing. I asked people what they thought I should pick, and had multiple recommendations for this show Cabin Pressure, which is not long-running, people just said it’s good and only 13 hours so I should do that first. I didn’t know much about it, I knew that John Finnemore is one of those guys who was Footlights and Radio 4 so probably does the kind of vaguely pretentious humour that I like, so I downloaded it and figured that once I finish everything else on the list, I’ll quickly do the 13 hours of Cabin Pressure before starting some new long-running thing.
…That was months ago. It’s now mid-November, because I kept getting recommended other things. I did a Lee & Herring rabbit hole, followed by going through a whole bunch of Stewart Lee things that I didn’t get to last year when I just did his TV shows + DVDs. A similar thing with Josie Long, when I got my ahdns on a bunch of her stuff that went beyond her recorded shows that I heard/watched last year. There was a bunch of Robin Ince stuff and Michael Legge stuff. There were lots of recordings from the 2023 Edinburgh Festival throughout August. Then there was Alan Partridge, I listened to From the Oasthouse and liked it so much that I had to listen to all three of his audiobooks before I could move on from that. Turns out I missed out on a lot by only doing the TV/radio things + movie on the first go of that stuff years ago, the books and podcasts are better.
There have been other things too. I kept finding more stuff, to add to my “Comedy --> New” working folder on my phone, with the folder labeled “Cabin Pressure” always there at the top, never touched. But this week, I finally finished everything else in that folder, and all the episodes on my podcast app and in my Downloads folder on my laptop, and opened up this new thing.
I realized I’d been expected it to be a show about people trapped in an airplane after a crash or something – some sort of horror scenario like that. So I was surprised to learn it’s just a sitcom about airline pilots flying planes, and I had to retrace my steps to work out where I got my expectation. I think it came from the fact that the only thing I’ve seen John Finnemore do was be the guy who flew the escape pod in Avenue 5, so I guess I just assumed anything he does with flying is a dystopia.
I’m now two episodes in, and it’s not a dystopian nightmare. It’s Butternut Cabbagepatch and Peter Manion from The Thick of It being sarcastic at each other, and it’s great. It makes me almost nostalgic, the way it so perfectly captures the essence of the Radio 4 sitcom, of the sort that my dad used to often play in the car when I was a kid. Biting, sarcastic characters all talking with perfect diction and dry wit being sardonically annoyed about things. A bit like The Department too (which is another example of how I think this the exact type of slightly pretentious humour that you get when you combine Footlights with Radio 4). I love that shit.
Unfortunately, however, I’ve been sidetracked again. I’ve heard a few things of Nish Kumar’s recent stand-up, some of which can be seen in a post that’s been going around Tumblr, where he thanks Russell Brand for never making anything of value that is now ruined by the recent news. I think the version that got filmed actually didn’t mention Arthur, but in some other versions, he has said he specifically appreciates that the Arthur remake was shit so it’s not like anyone’s out there saying “Oh no, I can’t watch the Arthur remake anymore.” I hope the fact that he didn’t mention it on NextUp doesn’t mean he’s cut that line entirely, because I think it’s a good example.
I haven’t seen the Arthur remake. But I have seen Arthur, several times, when I was quite young. To be honest I don’t remember a lot about it, except that it had a main character who was kind of a dick, with a dry-witted sarcastic butler who at one point said “I’ll alert the media” when Arthur said he was going to take a bath. I remember that part because it became a running joke in my family for years and years. It still is, actually. Ever since I was a kid, my family will say “I’ll alert the media” to each other as a way to sarcastically suggest that whatever they’re doing isn’t that important.
When I was a teenager, I used to write a parody newspaper that would publish an edition during every family reunion, because that’s the type of annoying teenager I was (I say, as though I don’t now have a blog for writing similarly annoying things). I remember that one time, at such a gathering, my father told me he was going to take a bath. “I’ll alert the media!” I said, very pleased to have had an excuse to use that reference in its original context. As soon as I said it, I realized I was the media, and considered myself alerted. So I wrote an article in the family newspaper called “Your Very Local News – What Is Going on in Your Bathroom Right Now” about how my father was taking a bath, and the whole thing was a joke about how the media has to be alerted when people take baths, and it was a reference to a movie that no one in the family besides my parents/brother and I had seen. I was about to write that that’s the sort of annoying teenager I used to be, but actually, I stand by that, I think it was hilarious.
Anyway. I haven’t actually seen that movie since I was young. I remember so little about it. I know it stars Dudley Moore. I remember my dad first got me interested in it by telling me it stars one of the Beyond the Fringe guys, since I loved the Beyond the Fringe CD that he used to play in the car a lot (when he wasn’t playing mildly pretentious Radio 4 sitcoms, or his Goon Show tapes – you can see how my childhood influenced my current interests). I remember finding it very funny.
So, when I heard Nish Kumar fairly recently mention the Arthur remake (for anyone who doesn’t know, the original movie is from 1981, while in 2011 Russell Brand starred in a remake, I have never seen that remake and have no desire to do so), it made me think I should re-watch that original movie. Then I listened to two episodes of Cabin Pressure, where one of the main characters is named Arthur, and every time they say his name it makes me think I should watch Arthur.
So the upshot is that I have downloaded the (original) Arthur movie and I’m going to watch that. But I will get back to Cabin Pressure soon! That show is definitely going in the folder of Britcom that I’ll give my dad for Christmas this year, as I’ve spent the last few years repaying him for raising me on this stuff by giving him back a stream of more comedy than he could ever watch or hear (don’t worry, I’ll get him a proper gift too). I am, to be honest, surprising myself a bit by how much I’m enjoying it.
In the meantime, though, I’ll let you all know if the Arthur movie is any good now that I’m over the age of about ten. Some things I enjoyed when I was ten have really held up, and some very much have not.
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still working through my backlog of tags. thank you @acorrespondence for tagging me in things :)
1. comfort character tag game
not to show my age but i don’t know wtf the kids mean by comfort character. i just listed some all time faves because it brings me comfort to think of how fucked up they are :)
raylan givens (justified), duh
brian o’conner (fast and furious movies)
addy hanlon (dare me--book version moreso than tv version)
betty cooper (riverdale)
pacey witter (dawson’s creek--the only one here who i think could be described as a comfort character for the reasons i assume people made up the term)
2. ao3 first lines tagline
Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway (spoiler alert: rules are made to be broken…)
look. i’ve been exclusively writing beatles rpf for the last year, so we’re all gonna have to either acknowledge it or Pretend You Do Not See, alright.
1. “What’s got you all quiet?” Robert asks him in the bathroom.
Paul realises he’d zoned out, staring blankly at Robert, bent over the sink, snorting a line.
2. John takes a long inhale of smoke as he watches Paul talking to one of the camera guys outside. His breath fogs up the bus window a bit, the evening air causing a cloud of condensation to spread, blurring Paul and the camera guy to nothing. When it shrinks back to dribbles of moisture, Paul’s hands are moving—explaining a shot, or a scene, or a fucking dream he had that he’d like this poor sod to turn into reality.
3. Paul can't pinpoint exactly where his night deteriorated, but it was probably somewhere after Brian left The Cavern for the evening, and Neil had driven away with all their gear, and John—realising that they'd lost the closest thing they had to adult supervision—loftily announced that he was getting married tomorrow and so everyone should buy him pints about it.
4. John doesn't notice him at first, engaged in answering a question for the crowd of journalists in front of him. Paul's half-hidden among the shelves anyway, peeking over to get a good look at John in his element.
5. John's not sure how they get onto the topic. They're in the canteen—just the two of them for the moment—talking in circles around each other, under the guise of talking about George, edging towards an argument but never really landing there. Just half-chastising, and half-imploring each other to be different people entirely without really saying it. And then, suddenly, they're talking about it.
6. "Here," John hisses at Paul and yanks him unceremoniously into a utility closet, letting Paul slam the door shut behind them.
7. Paul shows up late to their show. He makes it to the Jacaranda by the skin of his teeth, just as some fragile, spiteful thing in John is gearing up to lash out at anyone who'll listen that they don't need the bastard anyway. It's unlike Paul to be late, which makes it annoying enough, considering how much he'd whine about it if it were any of the rest of them, but then he has the gall to say it's because he was doing something for his dad.
8. After the Bob Wooler incident—the first but not last time Jane questions Paul’s association with the likes of John Lennon—Paul tells her: “He can be quite lovely when you get to know him.”
9. Paul feels lazy and warm as he sucks in another drag of the spliff John rolled them. He closes his eyes as he exhales. It only serves to heighten his sluggish senses. He could fall asleep like this, lost in the sensations of his lovely geodesic dome. He can feel every thread of the rug they're lying on; can hear Martha's soft snores from where she sleeps, her head pillowed on John's ankle. The sprinkling of sunlight leaking in through the leaves of the trees, outside, creates some sort of greenhouse effect—the air around them muggy and mellow. Paul could float away, if not for the grounding warmth of John's arm, pressed next to his. The true north, reminding him where his body is.
10. "You're like Julian with a new bloody toy," John says to him from somewhere on the couch.
Paul doesn't know why he's complaining. He's the one who asked about it, after Paul mentioned the new camera.
tagging for either one: @wurmzirkus, @tulakhord, @tallahasseemp3, @softbrah, @itookyoudown, @magog83, @jeanharlowseyebrows, @indiekidsupremacist
#i almost listed clarke griffin for characters but i have not yet fully healed from the crimes the 100 inflicted upon me#it's okay i found another crazy little blonde :)#also i may have puffed up my lines a bit. i realised doing this i'm kinda meh at openers lol#second paragraphs are where i really shine#tagged tag
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Frostmas Year Nine: Behind the Scenes
Prologue | Y1 | Y2 | Y3 | Y4 | Y5 | Y6 | Y7 | Y8 | Y9 | Y10 | Y11 | Y12
(in Kermit the Frog voice) Let's begin!
I straight up thought this chapter would be fairly short, because when I wrote it out in point form the events didn’t seem like they’d have a lot of action. Then I began writing it, and I was DEAD wrong
I listened to the opening scene of the North Pole Resort SOO MANY TIMES to hear the lyrics to the song perfectly. I had to ask my wonderful housemate to take a listen to try and figure out the “santa t-shirts, santa ties” line and WHEN I FINALLY WATCHED IT ON DISNEY WITH SUBTITLES, HEARD THAT I GOT IT W R O N G! It's Santa SIZE. I'll have to change that up lol
FUN FACT! “at this point I’ve adopted a stance of the less I know, the better” is my family’s motto up until recently
“I like the cut of your berg” is one of my FAVOURITE frosty-fying slang lines I’ve ever done! It’s a frosty version of “I like the cut of your jib” which was used in sailing in the 1700s ish to describe if an incoming ship was frens or not frens
-> I originally thought it was just some funky 20s slang, then googled it to make sure I was right and learnt the above!
-> the berg is short for iceberg--B likes the cut of Jacqueline’s iceberg, being the idea to maybe get rid of the awful recordings :)
Sometimes I’m like ‘these things don’t really need explaining’ but I get excited about my own work and then have to share how I got the ideas with everyone so ONWARDS I SUPPOSE
Man I miss multi-level lists! this Frostmas BTS has been in my drafts for FOREVER, and was the last one I did before tumblr switched to the new post editor
WHICH DOESN'T LIKE MULTI LEVEL BULLETED LISTS!
So it's kinda all over the place. My bad lmao.
LET'S KEEP ON KEEPING ON
Jacqueline realizing that she hadn’t updated everyone on what the elves thought of her nonsense was a BLESSING because I realized that I hadn’t addressed it, so thank you for that opportunity, Jacqueline
Archie's Guide to Important People in the North Pole: Big Man->Santa. Boss Man->Bernard.
I would like to take this moment to credit @shittyelfwriter with Archie’s existence in those few chapters of ROE, because I love him and always picture him as the elf playing the piano and going UGH and facepalming during Jack’s rendition of North Pole, North Pole (pictured below). THANK YOU FOR NAMING THE BOY, ANA!
The conversation between Jacqueline and Archie, that dripped sarcasm, was my favourite thing to write this chapter :D
The scene with Chrys give you weird vibes of all manner? Yeah, that was intentional. "Perfection" can be unsettling, after all
Bernard is definitely so DONE this year and it SHOWS -> That is exactly what I was going for, especially since I know that he's not normally
Okay so. Let's Talk About Chrys. TW: Sexual Themes
very embarrassing, but I got the concept from a series of fantasy erotica novels and I wish I was joking
(they’re called the World of Hetar series, very good, very very VERY smutty. I’d say it’s 60% SEX, 30% PLOT, and 10% SEX DRIVEN PLOT)
(I know people who know me are like YOU READ SMUT? YOU?? AN ACE??? and yes, I did, I read exclusively smut from the ages of 12-17 because my Dad worked for "Trash Romance Novel Company" and brought home books for free every month, and the books were, in fact, mostly if not totally smut)
Erotica aside, I quite liked how the author had built up the magical world, the beings, and how magic works in it
In the third or fourth book, called “The Twilight Lord”, the fairies ally with the desert princes who are some kind of magical fae themselves, and they create the Perfect Wife for the corrupt leader of the neighbouring continent to distract him from starting a war
She was a mix of his current 2 wives and the things he liked about them, and looked like the protagonist, Lara, who cursed him to not be able to fuck I shit you not and who he ALSO had a big huge thirst for which was GROSS because he was old as fuck and even though she’s half fairy, she was like. 12 or 13
And this new wife is able to GET IT UP with him, hence how he’d be distracted--he really liked sex (reminder: this is an erotica series)
So he’s too busy fucking her and then on top of that, she would divide the other two wives and basically bring the house down from the inside, neutralizing the threat of this corrupt sex loving mofo
And that’s where the idea of Chrys came from!
So basically tl;dr: Chrys was inspired by a spell a sexy bunch of desert princes in an erotica series did to make the perfect wife for their enemy and knock him right tf down :)
How this works with Cheri’s magic: same concept, less sex
Chrysanthemum is a Perfect Being, who is bound to a specific magibean. Chrys’s purpose is to be Jack’s Mrs Claus, and because she was made with dark magic she drains energy of those around her (except for jack’s energy bc he’s the person she’s bound to) and magnifies bad ideas
spoiler alert: in the long run, Chrys will be TOO perfect and TOO agreeable for Jack and he’ll grow tired and it adds to the whole “I thought this would get me everything I’ve ever wanted but it didn’t” long term theme I have going for Jack as Santa
but yeah
end tw for sexual themes. away from chrys we go!
battled with the “cultural appropriation” bit because I felt as though it may be insensitive but then I wrote it anyway because that’s what it is at it’s base :\
it was supposed to be a stand in? I'd go back and change later? then I didn't. We're rolling with it now lol
Have you ever heard Elf’s Lament by the Barenaked Ladies?
Because it’s where I got the Union Comment from
Then I was like “but DO THEY HAVE UNION???!?!” and remembered the “accident or design” thing and realized “OH they ARE their own union” and figured that in terms of a Santa like JACK, The council would step in (which they’ve done. and tried to do stuff. but haven’t had luck bc PLOT)
god Frostmas is exhausting. Villains are underappreciated for all the effort they put into for being on TOP of things
(in Korvo Solar opposites Voice) what fucking scene are we on. why are these so long. why did i do this to myself. FUCK
ANYWAY CIRCLING BACK TO THIS MESS OF A BTS!
This uniform thing was unplanned/meant to be just a footnote. Then. Well. THIS.
It is a decent feature of the Resort in the movie so, I guess it works out :)
FUN FACT: I was playing a very good dnd campaign at the time! And that's how Davian got her name, lol. One of the amazing NPCs was named Davian, and we had a really good session with them and the name stuck and boom! Into Frostmas it goes. Once again, Frostmas is proving to be a time capsule reminding me of wtf I was doing while writing these bad boys :)
I miss my friend's campaign ):
And yeah, this fight is one Jacqueline cannot win. this is on the elves. So what does she do? Goes back to her hyperfocus of destorying SantaJack
How? By figuring out wtf Chrys is >:)
STUPID DUMB CHRYS
Alright. Scene subheadings are back! Right on.
"Myles would be proud AND would probably have been able to connect the dots and figure out what was up, and then place it on a neat presentation board, to boot."
LEGATE DROP! Myles is Tooth Fairy's Legate! He's v sweet, a lil bit clumsy, SUPER into conspiracies--hence Jacqueline being like "MAN I WISH THAT KIDS WAS HERE, HE'D KNOW WTF IS UP"
So let's talk about BLINTER. Just to clarify: THEY WERE NOT ABOUT TO GET IT ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEN. This is just a typical post work day for them: start a fire, make a blanket nest, be cozy until kid 2, 3, or 4 come to harass them
Blaise is pouty bc they didn't even get a single cuddle in before Kid 2 came in like
And I was 100% referencing the meme lmao.
god tumblr killed the quality. I'll post it separately. ANYWAY
the Blinter and Jacquie scene was fun to write! This is one of the scenes where I was dropping very strong hints that Jacqueline was freezing--and Winter AND Blaise were noticing. Winter'll explain it all in Y11 ;)
FINAL RESORT
"You could really tell that graphic design was Chrys's passion"
another meme reference:
I think we, as a collective people using slang, should bring back "gag me with a spoon". Also some older slang! I try to sneak those in when I know of some to show. Y'know. AGE.
This whole scene with Jack and Chrys actually was me laying the ground work for FINAL RESORT. Trying to get in all of the booths we see, the petting zoo, and the different announcements about various activities set up before the double digit years! That was my goal :)
THE ELVES UNION AT WORK
Ah yes. the walk out. God, this uniform thing was meant to be small, but lord did it EVER go big. I'm actually okay with it--my y9 notes were so lacklustre, I was concerned it would be (you'll laugh I know) TOO SHORT lmao
No. Fr. Look at them.
"Because those outfits are a joke, and you wouldn't catch me dead wearing those."
Sassnard. We Stan.
"I'm so proud of all of my crew," said Davian. "Crimes against fashion should NEVER be tolerated!"
"And the break from the constant ruined showtunes, what a relief!" said Archie, leaning very far back in his stool."
The elves have their priorities lol. I Bet Archie and Davian are biffers.
Curtis on damage control was A) a stroke of genius on my part and B) the way I decided to start laying the groundwork for Customer Service Sales Person Curtis we see when Scott gets to the Resort! God, there is SO MUCH GROUND WORK FOR VARIOUS ITTY BITTY BITS WE SEE IN THE MOVIE, IT'S ACTUALLY INSANE. No wonder you all dig Frostmas so much. good lord
And then, we have it! Final Resort. Wholly heckeros! And yes, I did indeed name the Fire Marshall. Marshal. I'm a genius 🙃🙃🙃
""Course! It's lunch. I doubt anything will happen during lunch."
Famous last words, B-Man. And yes, I did that on purpose >:)
CHRYS UNMASKED. AND ALSO, IT'S CHERI!
Cheri's...interesting
While she is master of the dark witch arts, she isn't evil? Very chaotic. Kind of lets it slide a lot of the time when Witches use "dark" magic. Everything has a price, blah blah blah, it's not her place to tell people off about it--that's her sister's place, Gwen, aka, Glenda, master of the light witch arts
And also, dark magic will take what it needs in response. She just makes sure people don't use it SUPER illegally. Otherwise she kills em. It's her favourite part of the job :)
Lawful Evil?? Idk.
FUN FACT: She gave Gwen the nickname Glenda, like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz (derogatory), and Gwen went, "oh! Glenda, like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz (affectionate)? you're such a sweet sister I'll take it :)" and now everyone calls her Glenda much to Cheri's (dis)satisfaction.
Cheri is very not serious and hates being called in for business unless murder is involved. She does NOT ignore any summons, ESPECIALLY from Mother Nature.
Hence why Tara had a easy enough time getting her in
But Cheri does NOT make things easy for people, nope!
"Hay, Jacquie" a la Catra going "Hay, Adora". I was watching SPOP at the time. It's a DAMN good show, Catra/Adora my BELOVEDS
FUN FACT: Only recently decided how Warlocks worked in my universe! They know everything and can guide ANY castor. It's like a reverse of Warlocks in DnD. They don't need a patron; they ARE patrons!
By RETIRING Cheri means that a lot of Warlocks went into Rosehaven with the Call. They were making BANK on the feuding fae factions.
Petty vengeance->one night stand with Jack where he said he'd call back, and didn't, which Cheri expected but any excuse for petty revenge is a good one! Good karma->Cheri explains it herself: if it helps the "good" forces, and she contributed to it, she gets a bit of a pass on being The Worst :)
OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNAP BACK INTO THE PRESENT
this was an idea I had had since like, the BEGINNING. Halfway through or so, Jack would bug Jacqueline in the proper timeline, to check in and also let her know that he'd like a turn and also, as a plot device so I could remind everyone it's a story of the past being told from the future, and plant the seed of "wait, is Jacqueline going to forget it? Or is she going to remember it?"
Is she? Well, you're not finding out until the Epilogue :)
It is just as jarring as I had hoped it'd be, especially since I forgot all about it! I was ready to title this section THE END and talk about Bernard's amazing exit.
But yeah, it was a fun reminder that this takes place POST redemption, TECHNICALLY, which is a lot of fun! And that was so pleasantly jarring. I'm pleased >:)
anyway
THE END: BERNARD'S STELLAR EXIT
if you listen to this version of the halo theme song on loop, you may enter the space I entered when I wrote this bit
anyway. i love Jack. He is. the Blorboest Blorbo EVER. But he did, in fact, steal Christmas for his own holiday and turned the park into a Resort. Implying that there is an overnight stay. Especially with a pamphlet THAT THICK. It;s not even a pamphlet. It's a fucking guide book. FUCK.
And like, there were no hotels that we saw. Maybe there are inns! I mean, the Winter Wonderland has rooms. But I digress.
REGARDLESS, something needed to happen to really get B-Man, well, GONE. And this was the final straw: Elf's houses for you to stay at, with your own personal elfsisstant!
It HURT to SUGGEST Jack would make the elves like. SERVANTS so I tried really hard to avoid that sort of thing--but yeah, they'd be like hotel staff but live in. Imagine being an elf and having to NANNY HUMANS?! FUCK
"That's what your emotional support sprite is for," I said.->Meme alert! "sir this is my emotional support x" meme lol.
Jacqueline gets to kick down doors, once again. Idk why she slams doors open so much? She just does lol
"...It's perfect," Jack said. "It's everything I've ever wanted." I tilted my head. There had been something about the way he said that that made me think that he did not believe that anymore"
I'M LIKE, DROPPING HINTS NOW AT JACK'S ENDGAME FOR FROSTMAS (since we already know Jacqueline's)
AND JACQUIE IS PICKING THEM UP!
I wanted to avoid "servant" related words, but B-Man is way more blunt than I am and we thank him for it tbh
"Really? Cause this is me, walking away."
SO THIS RAW ASS LINE WAS GIVEN TO US BY @shittyelfwriter YET AGAIN! WOMAN'S A GENIUS! We were chatting about BMan's exit and she sent a snippet with that line and I went "Ou. Yeah. That's GOOD" and did a bit of "do it different so they can't tell it's copied"
but credit is given where credit is due lmao! Ana's mind is like, BIG BRAIN when it comes to writing and connecting dots n shit :)
and there we have it! Frostmas BTS: Y9. Y10 coming to you SOON I hope! I'm clearing out my drafts. They're all just. Frostmas BTS and wips that have yet to see the light of day :3
#dani speaks#frostmas#the twelve years of frostmas#frostmas behind the scenes#frostmas bts#frostmas bts year 9#CLEANING OUT MY DRAFTS! MAYBE Y10 WILL MAKE IT'S WAY TO A DASH NEAR YOU THIS NOVEMBER#WHO'S TO SAY!
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1690
1.) What did you do last Friday night? Do you have any plans for the upcoming Friday night?
Watched a few news features on the Titanic wreck submarine; played Rhythm Hive because apparently the game went through a major overhaul and looks and plays completely differently now; and spent nearly the entire rest of the evening watching both old and new Smosh videos because Anthony coming back is the best news that could’ve come out this week.
2.) When does spring break start for you?
We don’t have that concept here as we don’t even have that season here.
3.) Do you have anything planned for June so far?
The eventful part of my June is over now; I’ve seen Yoongi, been to Thailand, been to Malaysia, walked 15,000 steps for two weeks straight...the only thing left to do is to reclaim my time at home and rest up.
4.) What is the weather like right now?
It’s a little warm this morning but I’m not dying. One thing I picked up from my Thailand trip is to never fucking complain about Philippine weather ever again LOL – I thought it was humid enough here, but the moment I stepped out of Bangkok’s airport I was slapped in the face with air that was like, twice, thrice as heavy. The daily weather made the Philippines suddenly feel like Antarctica.
5.) What song are you listening to?
I’m not listening to music and rarely do so when I take surveys because I end up getting distracted and never finishing any of these.
6.) Name all the people that you talked to today. Online, through texts and in person.
Mom, dad, sister, the Grab rider who did my McDo delivery at around 1 AM earlier. Oh I also talked to a work-related person this morning, but fortunately I’m not leading the event so I just went on Viber to answer a question she had.
7.) Do you know anyone who self-harms?
I really hope I don’t; but at this stage in mine and my loved ones’ lives it’s great to see everyone flourishing and happy and as far as I know, the people that I know who used to do it don’t anymore.
8.) If you have a science class, who did you last talk to in that class?
I haven’t been in a classroom since pre-pandemic 2020.
9.) What did you eat for lunch today?
I’m having leftover kimbap from two weeks ago! I was struggling to find food in the fridge so I opened every single Tupperware we had in there only to find out that nobody has touched the kimbap I got :)))) Feeling pretty giddy ngl, it’s my favorite Korean food hehe.
10.) If you were president, which one would you legalise first: abortion, gay marriage or marijuana?
Not in the choices, but divorce. Then abortion, then gay marriage, then I don’t really care for marijuana.
11.) What are your parents’ names and what do they do for a living?
My mom’s an admin secretary in a hotel and my dad’s an executive sous chef.
12.) Do you have any siblings? What are their names, age and grade they are in?
Don’t you think you’re being a little too nosy? Anyway, one is 23 and is already working; the other is 20 and a freshman in college.
13.) Do you know a schizophrenic person?
I don’t.
14.) Do you have a threewords.me account?
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.
15.) Who were you last in a car with and where did you go?
That was with Celeste and I was just taking her home because no driver was accepting her Grab booking.
16.) Aren’t you excited for the 4th season of Jersey Shore?!
I was never an avid watcher. I watched a few episodes of the first season but I was 11 and immediately knew I wasn’t supposed to be watching something like it, lol.
17.) Did you ever watch Sailor Moon? If so, who is your favourite?
No I don’t like anime.
18.) Have you seen the game show “Baggage”?
Nope, haven’t heard of it.
19.) Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one.
I’ve only kissed one person but as for a nice thing about her, uh... she’s nice to her sisters? Idk.
20.) Have you ever had cranberry vodka?
No. Sounds nasty.
21.) When was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? Why is that?
I go through low periods quite regularly, but if you wanna go with EXTREME depression then I’d have to take you back to late 2020 to early 2021. They were terrible days but I do fondly look back on that period as the moments before BTS dragged and hurled me into their world.
22.) Don’t you just want to move out of your parents’ home already?
It’d be cool if I do but I’m not in a rush. The average pay here makes it impossible to have your own place in your 20s to early 30s anyway.
23.) Are you friends with a Conner?
No, that’s an extremely foreign-sounding name where I’m from. The only Conners you’ll ever find here would be tourists.
24.) Would you ever dye your hair pink?
Nah.
25.) Who was the last person to kiss your forehead?
No clue.
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Today I sat at the end of the road. The same road I drive each day. As I drove the 5 miles with water on both sides I thought about my life as a cum dump. What does an aging cum dump do when he feels like he’s wasted his life on NSA’s. It was my choice, glory holes, public parks, cruising the beach boulevard and especially the 5 mile road that I sit parked watching the fishermen, the ships leaving Houston for the gulf or maneuvering the channels to Houston or TC. , The barges navigating the inner coastal waterway. They all have a purpose, places to be, people to love. I wonder if I could swim across the channel to the Bolivar peninsula. I used to think so many dicks so little time. I fell in love 3 times through the years only to be ghosted when things got too real. The first was Paul. He was an Aztec God, they could have carved statues of him. He was my first and biggest cock I’ve ever seen and still is I’m sure. We saw each other 3-4 times a week for about 9 months. One day his phone was disconnected so I drove by his house. It was empty, never saw him again, he never called. Then a year or so later I met Les. Les was tall slim with a swimmers body. Beautiful man blonde hair blue eyes. Walking talking sex machine. He was parked about 2 miles out on my favorite 5mile road sitting in a giant land yacht Pontiac Bonnevile. As I passed him we made eye contact. I did a u turn and went back to talk to him. I assumed he was a cop, too much hotness not to be. He asked me to come sit in his car and that started a year long love affair. He was married 2or 3 kids. He worked in the restaurant world, so did his wife. Different restaurant chains. He had a deep voice get hard listening to him talk. I had to work a 7/12 and I didn’t hear from him that week. 1st day off I called his restaurant, the female and I wouldn’t say lady, she yelled that he moved to the corporate office in Houston. I thought he might call since he had my number I didn’t have his Houston number(pre cell phone days). He never called. A while later I met Keith on the same 5 mile stretch of road. There was a gloryhole on the end. I was actually using the facility as designed and he walked in wearing military fatigues. He whipped out his impressive weapon and started stroking. That’s how we met and continued to get together 3-4 times a week. He had a girlfriend the he got pregnant so they married. After the baby was born he starting sharing his new bride and the mother of his son with all his male friends. He filmed a few along the way and shared them with me. He had sex with anyone that was available. I was always available, as time went on I became the Friday morning fuck. I’ll give him credit he always made me cum first. We continued from late 90’s to 2008. Ghosted again. I guess that’s when I turned to the adult movie booths. NSA’s all the way. That continued until 2018 when I finally decided no more. Now I’m just a grouchy disgruntled old man that let life pass him by. And now after 4 yrs. Of abstaining I decided to go to an adult movie theater. I met another old guy named Duque. After he tore me a new one he asked me to call his number so we could exchange text. When his phone rang he freaked, showed me his caller It had my full name. He went to his contact list and there I was full name address and email. He’s called me, texted and is now stalking on social media. I guess I deserve this. I guess I should go ahead and take the swim before he hacks me up and bury’s me under his porch.
So day2, should I swim it or not?
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Losing My Mind Because of a TV Show Made in 2004.
The amount of self restraint I have right now is absolutely fucking bonkers.
In the age of the internet and media, the aspect of having a spoiler-free TV and movie experience is practically non-existent. If you aren’t up to date on the latest Marvel movie or haven’t seen the newest season of whatever Netflix Original series the second it comes out, you’re behind, and you’d better avoid any news sites or any social media app to avoid the onslaught of information coming out about the new season or movie in case you don’t want spoilers.
Not to mention isolating yourself from anyone around you because there’s a very high chance someone in your life has seen that new season or that new movie, and they could unintentionally let something slip because we all assume we all watch that new thing the second it comes out, which is just plain unrealistic.
So my point with all this? THE AMOUNT OF PATIENCE I HAVE TO HAVE WITH MYSELF IN ORDER TO NOT GOOGLE A N Y T H I N G ABOUT THE TV SHOW ‘LOST’ IS ASTOUNDING TO ME. I’VE ONLY SPOILED 2. T W O THINGS ABOUT THE SHOW, AND ONE WASN’T EVEN THAT BIG A DEAL.
Which isn’t much considering I just finished season 1 with my dad, but fuck it is so hard not to search up anything on the internet about it. I haven’t looked at the cast list (at least not extensively, I’ve glanced at it, which is the first thing I do when I watch a TV show), I haven’t looked at any YouTube videos (I thrive on compilations of my favorite characters, and I can’t do it with Sawyer yet! FUCK!!), I haven’t listened to the soundtrack (I love listening to media soundtracks, but I was told the Titles. Of. The. Songs. Would. Spoil. The. Show.), I haven’t done any basic Google searches because I am so afraid of one little spoiler and it is slowly killing me.
All in all, I both hate and love that I’m watching this now, but I think I would rather do this than watch it when it was first coming out because having to wait a week for the next episode?? Outrageous. I had to wait like 2 weeks for the last few episodes of Stranger Things and THAT was torturous. I am simply a weak limpy baby with 0 patience while those of you who watched this show while it was airing and had to wait MONTHS to find out what was in the...the uh.... the thing that John and Jack uh... y’know.... made kaboom? Yeah, I have a lot of respect for y’all.
Anyway I fucking love this show and I still have 97 episodes left so let’s see how this goes, huh?
#lost#lost abc#forgive me father for i am losing my fucking marbles#this show is bonkers#but i love it#i've only seen season 1 so pls no spoiling#sawyer no.1 skrunkly#at least for now
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Piano Masterlist
Days in the sun (ao3) - Calumthoodshands (tndart)
luke/calum
M, 200k
Summary: Calum and Ashton live a quiet life in the south of France — until Luke shows up to get away from his busy life as a singer and the past year. Neither he nor Calum have any intention to get over their mutual aversion, but apparently this summer has other plans for them.
Distraction (ao3) - beingunpredictablewith5sos (thehunterwithanangel)
michael/calum
M, 953
Summary: After recording The Only Reason, Michael is feeling pretty down and Calum is the one who finds ways to distract him
I Still Dream For You (ao3) - orphan_account
michael/luke
M, 1k
Summary: Michael is the best pianist Australia ever produced. He started holding concerts at the young age of fourteen. Not long after, he was discovered and things went positively for the pianist.
It was at one of the many concerts where Michael met the love of his life.
lu and mike (tt) (ao3) - coolbabyblue
michael/luke, calum/ofc
T, 426k
Summary: The story in which Luke is an overly aggressive teen who just can't seem to catch a break in life and Michael just wants to show him that he deserves the world and more.
My best friend's wedding (ao3) - calumslashes
michael/luke, michael/crystal
G, 2k
Summary: “I’ve been in love for you for two fucking years! And I’ve watched you like… fucking around, and with your girlfriends and I said nothing!” Michael says raising his voice and Luke knows he’s right but either he speaks now or he will never have the guts. “I didn’t know Mike! Like… I had no idea you-“ “I don’t care! Now you don’t get to say anything about me or my relationship!” “I’m in love with you, Michael and I know I’ve been stupid, I know but…- Luke pauses, searching his brain for the right words.- I am here now, telling you that I love you-“
And that’s when Michael looses it. He dreamt for years about that moment, Luke telling him “I love you” and meaning it, so now that he does, Michael can’t help but kissing him.
Michael has been in love with Luke far a while, truly, madly, deeply but Luke was too scared and, perhaps blind to realised it. Two years later, Michael has a girlfriend, they got engaged and they’re about to get married, until Luke finally gets his shit together and tries to stop the wedding from happening.
Nothing like the rain (ao3) - Calumthoodshands (tndart)
luke/calum
N/R, 1k
Summary: There is only one thing left on Calum’s list, but it turns out saying goodbye is much harder than imagined.
someone in the crowd (ao3) - cthink
calum/ashton
G, 605
Summary: His veins are electric, his palms sweaty and his body on fire, but it reminds him how alive he feels every time he's up on the stage, the band working perfectly together like a machine to create the jazz he so loves—months of poring over sheet music and compositions, all leading up to this moment.
He hasn't hit a single off chord, and he knows he won't—he's worked far too hard for that. There's critics in the audience, but they're not the only people he's trying to impress.
Unplugged (ao3) - cxmp
luke/calum
T, 1k
Summary: Calum discovers the true meaning of Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 in B♭ Major when he sees Luke Hemmings at the piano and promptly loses his mind.
Voices Singing (Let's Be Jolly) (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes)
michael/harry, background calum/ashton
T, 4k
Summary: Harry loves Christmas and singing in his community choir. Michael hates Christmas but is playing the piano for their holiday concert, anyway.
You're The Sun That Breaks The Storm (ao3) - FayeHunter
michael/luke
T, 4k
Summary: Or Michael keeps listening to Luke play piano and the one time Luke listened to him play the guitar
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Maybe I’m meant to be single.
I think you broke me. I was growing from losing my mind when you found me. I was beginning to be full of life again. You never read the things I wrote, you showed me even those older than me aren’t the same as me, technology has ruined a lot, including you. I was there when your father died. I thought the way you were is just what it’s like dating a man. You over sexualized me in at every chance, I’m every type of way. Yes I did come to you with the need to be a submissive, I was tired of the live I was leading and wanted to start a life totally new. While realizing it was new at all I was finally listening to myself. While we had fun, I couldn’t but help to feel used. Your temper showed, and I can deal with alot but there’s only so many shutdowns I can make myself do before it’s not fair to me. You walk around like you’re gods gift to women. So entitled. And so fucking wrong. You wanted to get my pregnant just to trap me, but I hate to break it to you mister thinks he’s all that, you have to have sex in order to do that. I finally found out what it was like to date a man like my father. And I feel sorry for the woman who ends up with you and the children you raise. You’ve ruined submission for me, now I’m extra cautious and with someone who sex can’t even be put on the table with.
He’s not a bad guy but I think I was running to a place that was safe. Safe from dick pics, and doing things I really didn’t want to do sexually just to turn my partner on. While I still don’t want the dick pics being single may produce. I catch myself at every turn. Everytime I look for a hand to hold from you, you just tell me another story where you go thru the same exact thing. Which originally drew me to you, but im like a moth drawn to the flames of anyone who needs love and help. Im not saying you’re not helping me learn, you’re helping me realize a lot. That for my age, im far beyond my years. Despite being hospitalized, other people go thru it too, im not alienated for needing the help. However, I miss feeling something. We sit and watch tv and eat together. You kiss me good bye and hug me. And I feel close to nothing. Which almost makes me miss those cruel hands around my throat. He made me feel like I was always the problem, & you are so submissive I feel like I’m overstaying my welcome in your life. I can’t wear the pants like that anymore. I can’t decide everything, I can’t play mommy again, I can’t make the phone calls for your doctors for you, I can clean the house for you, but I can’t make you stop drinking every night, i can’t make you see that going to the store really isn’t that bad, I can’t help you anymore than you could help yourself. The only secret I’m holding is I make myself do things until I realize they’re not that bad. Then I start to wonder if I’m a heart breaker. You spoil me, you feel things I feel too. I start to wonder if im crazy for craving a hand around my throat again, but I miss it. You make me feel too cookie cutter, like I’ll never fit into your cookie cutter life. Truth is…
Im learning….im messy, im confusing, I speak in metaphors. Im dark, im strong, im free spirited. I feel more lost when I’m trying to be found. I’m not perfect, nor will I ever claim I am or try to be. I doubt I’ll ever work a normal job ever again. I’ve never asked for help or handouts, even when I was losing my mind. I’m independent yet craving that someone I can completely trust to take control. I’m a brat. Some days I’m lazy, other days I’m going so fast and never miss a beat. I don’t really know what I want, all I have is a list of things I don’t want. Trying to love in this generation is a special kind of hell.
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If you don’t mind me asking, what fandoms are you into. I’ve already come across most of your MCU ones and I love listening to you rant about it because I agree 100%. I’d love to know what else you rant about
Oh, gosh, okay, fandoms... hm. I have a lot, so how about a random list?
MCU (obviously)
Naruto
Kingdom Hearts
Dragon Age
Mass Effect
MXTX stories (I have not started on these rants and please don't start me; I've barely gotten MCU morons to fuck off and these people will swarm me because they think MXTX is the Writing Goddess of our time)
Lots of BL actually just talk to me about BL tropes or something
Shadowhunters
Teen Wolf
a lot of older anime actually; I am Old
Disney
I dunno stuff
Fandom Tropes maybe I've been in the game for a looooong time now
TOS and AOS Star Trek (dear god do NOT send these Trekkies after me, fuck; also don't talk about the Discovery and whatnot because I'm a cheap bitch and refuse to get Paramount+)
Damn I like so many things but not many of them are Top Ten TV Shows and Movies or anything huh
Honestly, name something that had incredible potential that fell flat and I will rant for days about those things I disliked, even if I loved several other things about them. In fact, because I loved other things about them.
PS - I have a bad habit of never checking something out if it becomes popular because I have this awful ADHD thing where I feel like it won't live up to the hype and I'm kinda curious and might be interested in it anyway so I just keep putting off watching it for the rest of my natural life ahaha...
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I DIDNT SEE IT AT FIRST but @youdontgotoparties tagged me to share my top albums from last year ok here we go. Also I meant to post this to @tran5rightsos oops
Like half of these came out last year, but a few are recent discoveries
1) 5 Seconds Of Summer - 5SOS5
So good. They can’t keep getting away with it, they’re just so much at all time ykwim? These songs FUCKED live. This is the only non-metal album on this list lmao it was just that kinda year. Complete Mess has some vibes for sure.
2) Lorna Shore - Pain Remains
GIRL I should not be allowed to listen to this like what the fuck? I found out about LS last year from watching the throat cam interview and then listening to Sun//Eater like damn this guy’s got some noises. But it’s also the instrumentals, Adam just doesn’t know when to stop. They’ve got this epic vibe, like Dark Souls boss fight music or some shit, Cursed To Die gets me hyped every time.
3) Wage War - Pressure
This is an older one that I found last year, I’ve really been sleeping on this band. They’re a Fearless band so I’ve known of them for ages I just never gave them a solid listen before. Top recommendation would be Grave.
4) Motionless In White - Scoring The End Of The World
I’ve been trying to get into MIW for years and ig last year was finally the right time. I got to see them live with I Prevail and that had me like damn I should give them another shot. Cyberhex is pretty.
5) I Prevail - Trauma
This album got a lot of hype when it came out but I didn’t give it a listen until last year. The show I saw was the one where Eric had been in the hospital earlier that day. Glad he’s okay but ngl it would have been pretty metal if he’d died from playing BB at soundcheck. 10/10 would cry to Let Me Be Sad.
6) I Prevail - True Power
GOD. You can really hear how Brian and Eric have developed their vocals in this one. I get some Linkin Park vibes from it and that fucks. They do really good sad songs so even though TP is just bangers from start to finish I’m gonna single out Deep End as one of my favs.
7) Bad Omens - The Death Of Peace Of Mind
So I’ve heard some of their material before? Which is why Concrete Jungle had me like ??? when I first heard it. Very unexpected but the vibes do fuck. This is the only album on this list I don’t physically own :c
8) Dream On, Dreamer - It Comes And Goes
Fucks. Cannot believe they broke up and I’ll never know how these songs sound live, the vibes are just off the charts. So pretty, they truly went off with Don’t Lose Your Heart.
Anyway everyone share your favourite albums from last year it’s fun
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It was early 2022 when I got to the Josh sitcom on my list of things to watch. I watched all three seasons in a few days, and it was exactly what I’d expected it to be: an extremely sitcom-y sitcom. A weirdly sitcom-y sitcom, in this day and age (or even the day and age when it was made, which was 2015-2017). It had all the sitcom tropes. It had sitcom plots where everything resets at the end. It had formulaic jokes and scripts. It was mildly amusing. It was quite endearing in the way that most things Josh Widdicombe does are. It had three main actors who were not particularly great at acting, but weren’t (usually) comically terrible at it. It was incredibly average. Sometimes it was funny. Josh Widdicombe sure did write a sitcom. It seemed like he watched every sitcom in existence (which, according to the way he talks about himself, he has in fact done) and distilled all the little bits of their essence into eighteen episodes. I had a good time while watching it.
I did have a really long, detailed post going at the time, which I updated about eight times as I watched new episodes, in which I kept track of all the cameos in it. I think that ended up being my favourite part of the show – seeing all the comedians who’d just wander in for an episode. It started with Mike Wozniak in episode 1, with a full beard, and seeing that when I wasn’t expecting him to be in the show at all was quite a shock. So I made a post about how weird that was. And then I updated it when the second episode started with James Acaster just sitting on Josh’s couch.
It kept going from there. Every episode had at least one new stand-up comedian in its lineup, sometimes two or three. I was going to find my old post and link to it, but as I’ve recently said I often cringe at the thought of things I might have said more than five seconds ago, so let’s not do that (I’m pretty sure I spelled Elis’ name as Ellis every time I wrote it, I figured out about halfway through 2022 that his name only had one L and realized I’d been spelling it wrong for ages).
So instead of going back to my post where I had screenshots of all these guest stars, I’ll just go to IMDB so I can list them: Mike Wozniak, James Acaster, Tom Allen, Cariad Lloyd, Jennifer Fucking Saunders (playing a character who was the mother of the main character who was played by her real-life daughter), both other guys from Three Bean Salad (Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge, whom I didn’t recognize at the time but now do off IMDB), both people from Lazy Susan (Celeste Dring and Freya Parker, whom I also did not recognize at the time), Miles Jupp, Lolly Adefope, Felicity Ward, Mike Bubbins, Suzi Ruffell, Romesh Ranganathan, Ellie Taylor, Celia Pacquola. That’s not counting the comedians in the main cast (Josh Widdicombe, Elis James, Beattie Edmondson, Jack Dee) – those are all people who turned up for one episode each, except for Wozniak in two and Saunders in three. That is a lot of cameos from comedians to pack into 18 episodes.
This makes it extra funny to me as I listen to the John Robins and Elis James radio shows from that time, and listen to John Robins continually notice the same thing. Before the show started airing he got in some run-of-the-mill jabs about Elis swanning off to be a successful TV actor while John can’t even get verified on Twitter, but after it started airing, the complaints quickly turned to the more specific issue of why they have cast every fucking comedian in Britain in at least one role except for John Robins. A complaint that’s funnier to me because I have seen the show and can confirm that it is true. I even made a whole long post about it at the time, explaining that I’d stopped looking at the show’s IMDB page while watching because I considered IMDB to be a spoiler, since the most fun part of the show was trying to guess which comedian would suddenly turn up next. It did not, at the time, occur to me to wonder what it would be like to watch this as the one comedian in Britain who didn't get a cameo role despite being in a double act with one of the three main actors.
I have enjoyed listening to John Robins get increasingly petty and annoyed about this on the radio, and I was going to cut out some examples, but then I went on YouTube and found that someone else has already done it for me. Has helpfully collated clips of all the chats about the Josh Widdicombe sitcom to happen across several years of radio episodes.
youtube
I haven't actually heard everything in this YouTube video yet. I'm currently on episode 120, in mid-2016. I skimmed the video and found that I think the most recent clip I've heard from that video is about halfway through it, when they've just started filming season 2 and John keeps asking if he'll have a cameo in it and Elis tries to deflect with an extended joke about how John can only have a role if he's okay with doing naked fencing, and John plays along for a minute or so before saying, okay, but seriously, have you seen the entire script and do I get a role? And Elis says I have and you don't and then they immediately cut, which is great comic timing on the podcast editor's part. I'm quite pleased that that clip is only halfway through the YouTube video, suggesting that there is plenty more awkward chat along these lines coming up in episodes I haven't heard yet.
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