#like. is a kid with fibromyalgia not enough. im not doing chemo so it’s fine right just get me sick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 11 months

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i hate going “hey i might not be up to hanging out im just not doing well mentally” but also i know if im either constantly panicking or completely out of it while we’re hanging out then it won’t go well

#got into a fight with my mum because she was like ‘well why r u still scared when we’re not seeing massive waves and hospitals aren’t #overrun and this 80 year old family friend has had it three times and is fine every time #and do you look at what people who don’t have the same opinion of you are saying’#my response to this was ‘no I do look at the scientific articles that come out though and most of the ones about covid are finding it does #damage to multiple parts of the body’#like. i already have fibromyalgia. we’ve removed the cancerous tumor but i still have iodine radiation and have to hope the cancer cells #they found in my blood vessels didn’t go far enough to spread and if they did that the iodine destroys them #like. is a kid with fibromyalgia not enough. im not doing chemo so it’s fine right just get me sick #does she not fucking remember how it destroyed her husband. she watched it we all fucking watched for weeks as he withered away from this #fucking disease #and then everything we didn’t see we got in twice daily calls from the hospital as they told us how his kidneys failed and they were excited #when he could breathe on his side for two hours instead of just on his stomach and then it killed him #am i the only one in the household who remembers seeing my dad as a barely breathing corpse when we forced him to go to the hospital because #he couldn’t say three words or walk a few steps without panting like he’d just done a sprint #im tired of her making me feel crazy for not wanting this disease im not irrational or insane for this i promise i promise im not #im tired of her coming in 5 minutes after i leave an argument going ‘don’t be angry with me. it’s just that-‘ and then making my only safe #place in this house a part of the argument too #fuck it it’s fine I’m out in a few months anyway #vent tw #sittin g in a corner rn so that the only open space is in front of me and i can pull my legs up to my chest and my fan is on and my windows #are open and im tired of being called crazy and paranoid and irrational #covid tw

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