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writingsbyexiledfromazerath · 7 years

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Saudade; Chapter 3 Papercut

"Hello, Sockhead! Earth to Sockhead! C'mon man I don't want to be here any longer than I have to be!"

Eddward's eyes focused to the blank piece of paper before him. Tutoring Eddy was difficult enough, but it was even more challenging with his mind running in circles.

It was not healthy where his mind was drifting off to, but he quickly attempted to shake it off. Distractions were not of the essence right now.

Eddward cleared his throat before picking up Eddy's textbook.

"My apologizes, Eddy. Let us start over. What were some of the initial factors and conflicts that instigated World War II?"

Eddy paused, furrowed his brow and ripped the textbook from Edward's hand. As he pried the book open and flipped frantically through the pages, Eddward realized Eddy has yet again neglected study.

"Eddy, you'll never get out of remedial history if you don't at least skim the material." Eddy groaned.

"I don't see why we even have to learn this stuff, Double D. I mean, the past is over right? Isn't that the point?What does it matter what Turkey or Hungry did 70 years ago?"

"Stuffing anyone?" Ed approached the library's wooden table with full arms and a matching grin. His arms and his forehead had slight streaks of paint in a variety of colors. His arms were loaded with folders and loose papers.

"Hello Ed! And how was your art class?" Ed dropped his items onto the table and began to sort through them.

"I'm working on a new peice guys! He held up an elaborate space and alien sketch, half painted. The painting was realistic enough that Edward could almost feel the aliens breathing and hear the lasers firing. Ed had a real gift.

"Ain't I a Pinocchio or what, Fellas?"He asked with a smirk. Eddward grinned.

"Picasso Ed, and I must say you're artwork has certainly improved since middle school."

Ed beamed. It made Eddward so happy to see Ed show some confidence and pride in something he had accomplished.

"I really hope to have this one finished by Nazz's party. I think it would be a nice gift." Eddy ripped his eyes from his textbook to Ed's half completed piece before breaking out laughing.

"Yeah right! Like Nazz would be interested in a dumb ol' painting. Why don't' you give it to May and see if she'll let you hit second base?"

Ed noticeably recoiled, hunching his shoulders over and looking down.

"I don't want to play baseball with May, Eddy. I just want Nazz to have a nice birthday gift."

Eddward resented Eddy for how much he had been trying to push Ed sexually. Clearly he was not emotionally or mentally mature enough for such endeavors and he was not helping by teasing him about it.

"Well I think that's a very thoughtful idea Ed."Eddward commented "We all know Nazz loves thoughtful and kind people."

Eddy paused, narrowing his eyes. "Are you trying to say something, Sock Head?"

Eddward sighed, defeated.

"Of course not, Eddy. I'm going to go find a textbook with simpler timelines. Be right back."

Edward pushed out his chair and huffed to the History section of the library. He knew it was easier to walk away from Eddy than to argue with him, but sometimes he wished that standing up to him was the easier option.

Dazed hazel eyes glazed over the series of textbooks lining the dusty shelves. Hundreds of years of history and Eddy could not show interest in a single moment if his life depended on it.

His fingers grazed the plastic bindings until he found the material he was looking for. He slowly pulled the book from the shelf and lowered his eyes to the binding as he turned around.

A smooth talking voice graced Eddward's ears that was far too familiar.

Kevin.

Before Eddward could evaluate his actions, his legs developed a mind of their own, carried him closer to the source of the voice. He peered around the edge of a bookcase, attempting to remain silent.

Kevin had Nazz pressed up against a bookcases, his arm pressed against the bindings above her head. Nazz giggled flirtatiously and confidently as Kevin gave her a smirk.

That mischievous, devious smirk. Eddward was too familiar with that.

Eddward watched Kevin whisper something into Nazz's ear. After another giggle he planted a quick kiss onto her strawberry lips.

Eddward felt his chest tighten. Could they be dating? It was certainly possible. What could have happened over th course of the summer to trigger that?

"I was sure that Kevin…"

His knees started to tremble but he found himself somehow unable to move. The textbook he had clasped between his palms had escaped and fallen to the floor with a gratuitous thud. He needed to leave. He needed to get Kevin's face removed from his brain. This was too much for him.

Kevin and Nazz paused, turning their heads towards the sound of the thump and the thin teen's direction.

Curses, they've noticed me.

His feet would still not remove themselves from the library carpet.

Kevin and Eddward's eyes met, and once again Eddward found himself unable to read Kevin's eyes. Why did his eyes look that way?

"Dude, a little privacy, would ya?" Kevin uttered, casting his eyes downward.

Eddward obeyed, spinning on his heel and almost sprinting towards the back of the library where his friends were waiting, ignorant of his situation.

When Eddward returned to his friends, his face was read and his body was starting to perspire. His chest still felt tight and the last thing he wanted to do was to explain why he was so disheaveled.

Eddy looked up from his cellphone, appearing disinterested before his eyes squinted in confusion.

"What the hell happened to you, Sockhead? And where the hell is the book?"Eddward looked down into his suddenly empty hands; the book was gone, probably only a few feet from Kevin and Nazz's hiding spot. Eddward swallowed a hard lump.

"Oh, someone seems to have checked it out already."Eddward muttered. Eddy grunted, appearing bored.

"Well let's go do something else Double D. I'm getting bored of this stupid studying stuff." Eddy pushed his body out from the table. Normally, Eddward would protest, but the defeat in his mind had worn his body weak, and for a brief moment Eddward no longer cared about academic goals.

"Sure, Eddy. We've done enough. Let's go back to the Cul-de-Sac."Eddy's eyes widened. With a triumphant cheer, he sprung from the table and started to dart towards the door. His smartphone left abandoned on the table.

Eddward grabbed the phone, still open on the popular social media app that Eddy was so addicted to. His finger skimmed the screen, causing the screen to scroll down to more oversharing from his classmates.

Kevin and Nazz had posted a picture together, captioning it "two month anniversary", complete with hearts and smiley emojis. Eddward could have just swallowed a brick with the heavy feeling in his stomach.

Eddward felt the air escape from his lungs, suddenly unable to breathe. His eyes began to water.

"What were we then, Kevin?" He thought to himself. "What the hell were we?"

"Dammit. God dammit."

"Are you okay Double D?" Eddward turned to see Ed, still packing up his art projects with a concerned sadness in his eyes. Eddward sniffed and straightened his body, attempting to compose himself. This was not something he wanted to tell anyone, and was far too complicated for Ed to handle.

"Yeah, I'm fine Ed. Just feeling really out of it today. I think a good night's sleep would help" He tried to smile, but realized quickly that it probably was not very convincing. Ed tilted his head.

"Is it about Kevin and Nazz?"He asked slowly, Eddward almost choked.

"Wh...what would make you think that, Ed?" The nerd stuttered, chest so tight he thought his ribs would break.

"Well you guys got really close last year right? And how he won't talk to you? What happened?"

Floored, Eddward found himself speechless. As much as he and Kevin had worked to hide it, Ed had noticed the changes. They were so convinced they had everyone ignorant of their secret.

"Well I mean, friendships change Ed, and sometimes people grow distant. It's a perfectly normal part of growing up." Ed stared at Eddward, sadness still present in his eyes.

"You gotta talk to him, Double D. It's not fair for you to not understand what's going on. It happens to me sometimes and I would change it if I could, you know."

Edd could not speak.

"Ed, that is the most coherent thing I've ever heard you say."

Ed looked down, picking up his art bag and his football jacket from the wooden table.

"Just because I don't talk alot don't mean I don't have alot to say, Double D. Noone really stops to consider what I'm really good at, they just all look at what I can't do."

Without another word, Ed slung his bag over his shoulder and quietly walked past Eddward. Eddward watched him keep his solemn face until he was approached by Rolf, and suddenly that goofy smile had reappeared on his face.

Eddward felt morbidly embarrassed. He was so sure he knew the people around him, including his best friends. How could he have missed Ed's strengths?

Perhaps he was underestimating Ed and Eddy. They were his best friends after all. He should be willing to focus more on their strengths rather than their weaknesses. Perhaps telling them what had happened between himself and Kevin could be a beneficial action. Perhaps they would understand…

But then again, would they really believe him?

#eene #eene fanfiction #fanfiction #saudade #exiledfromazerath

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