#like ur a lowly npc... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1o1percentmilk · 10 months

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hi! regarding your social queues post

i feel like i'm experiencing a thing that's a bit similar to what you are dealing with down to the "I'm not autistic but this shit isn't neurotypical" thoughts (and if not, I'm really sorry for an impromptu vent just ignore all of this please and have a kitty ฅ/⁠ᐠ•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠ᐟ⁠\ฅ)

several of my prev psychologists link it to general anxiety and social awkwardness and yeah, that sounds reasonable, but what bothers me is that idk how to improve

i tend to overthink everything I say to the point where, even though I know what a normal response should look like I can't convince myself that what I said/wrote is articulated in a way that doesn't sound dumb/conveys literally the opposite of what I'm trying to deliver. answering a message after days of silence, which actively worsens my relationships, while I fear that answering with a 'stupid' message would be even worse or agonising over a comment I'm trying to leave on someone's work because, well, I think it's neat and cool and I want the artist/author to know it, but when I start typing my words look wrong and not genuine is a constant thing and I'm tired

and yeah, the worst is comforting people. my friend feels terrible, I can clearly see that and my heart is breaking for them, but I can never find a good thing th say. irl you at least can physically be there((maybe)) but online it's a nightmare

I was always told that words should come from the heart and I never got a feeling that was the case for me which just. i dunno what to do with this

hi hello! no, you're good, I have my ask box open for a reason and that includes venting n stuff like that, i don't mind at all!

yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about... like i have no problem picking up on things between the lines... but i always take too long to respond and by the time i think of something i am either too nervous or the window has passed. in my case, I know its because i have a "slower processing speed" than other people, which i've had since I was little, it's easier to think when i can type on a screen and be able to check if im making sense, but i don't do verbal stuff very well.

i've been in therapy as well, a long time ago, and i've been told i might be on the autism spectrum, and/or have add, but i'm pretty resistant to getting a formal diagnosis or even self diagnosing for some reason.

i think for me, and i don't know if this will help for you, i want to 1) get rid of the... mental block? filter? that my thoughts have to get through before I say something... because sometimes i come up with the thought, but don't say anything due to nerves. that'll help me get more thoughts out there and 2) get more practice with people... which is hard! i tried out both improv and drama club in high school because this is an issue i've been working on for a long time... it didn't really work, but i've learned that there are a lot of... scripts! that i can just use in a pinch. even if its just like, small talk and stuff, or if i don't have anything, i just turn the question on the other person and just listen!

i've been trying to make peace with the fact that i will probably never be as good of a talker as other people, but you and me brother we are probably just meant to be listeners... and nothing wrong with that... there IS stuff we can do to get better at talking, which i encourage. but don't get down out of reason for being quiet.

SORRY that got really long despite me not having alot of good advice but im struggling with it with you, good luck with finding something that works.. if u want to talk u are always welcome here, i enjoyed reading your ask!

#sorry im very bad at respondin g to things LOL #but i mean all of this genuinely #its tough not feeling like u are as alive.. or have as much of a heart... personality.. genuine... as other people #like ur a lowly npc...#but npc or not.. your feelings are still real right? your pain is real and what you feel when people talk to you is real #i believe you're real #but yeah it sucks and i hope we can find a way to live with it #cathugs \(•u•)/#ask #anon

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lesbianrumi · 3 years

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@mercuriouss replied to your post:

big agree! also; i don’t know if it’s just me not being able to understand properly but the whole demonstration thing that she did for traveller and paimon was very uncomfortable to watch. i like eula but i could not sympathise with her. of course they’re going to get upset, she just called them lowly labourers! yes, she doesn’t usually talk like that but their reactions were completely justified! they weren’t just being close minded; someone of high class with a horrible family insulted them

NO UR SO RIGHT, i hated that scene esp 😭 idk how we’re supposed to walk away from it feeling sorry for eula and hating on these npcs, when they’re completely justified for their anger. i know they don’t get what eula’s saying to them because her speech is so ‘refined’ and ‘aristocratic,’ but she’s licherally lording her superiority over them and telling them to kneel, then reprimanding them for not kneeling and kissing up to her....

when traveler and paimon kept sympathizing with eula during that scene i was honestly sitting there like 😐😑😐 it’s lit rally madness luv x

#mercuriouss #m.txt #yes cool she didn't actually mean what she said #but ofc the npcs are gonna think she's trying to lord her superiority over them #mhy tried and failed to make me feel sad for eula lmao #i love u ma'am but nah <3

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kairospective · 5 years

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ITEM DROP CHALLENGE

if your character was an npc, what items would they drop when they flee combat/are killed? please repost and don’t reblog !

3-5 common items ( would drop every time )

001 . Potion ( running away )

item set: disposable

Restores 30% of the user’s HP. Gets the job done.

002 . Black glove ( running away )

item set: special

A glove comprised of the same black and leathery material designed to fend off darkness from one’s heart. Missing the other one.

003 . Ball of Yarn? ( running away )

item set: special

A ball of ordinary worsted-weight yarn. Looks like Xehanort was in the middle of making a bunch of knots with it.

004 . Divine Bandanna ( in case of death )

item set: accessory

Increases defense (DEF +2). Carefully pressed and folded to be neatly stored in a pocket.

005 . Moon Amulet ( in case of death )

item set: accessory

Highly increases strength and magic and also greatly increases maximum AP (STR +2, MAG +2, AP +3). Still looks like new.

1-2 rare item(s) ( A 10% drop chance )

001 . Chess piece ( in case of death )

item set: special

A golden chess piece with some sort of goat on top. Without the other pieces, one can only wonder what the rest of the board looks like, so it’s hard to tell if it’s the king or a lowly pawn.

002 . Abalone shell ( in case of death )

item set: special

A hand-sized seashell that has the inside polished to shine in all sorts of mesmerizing colors. You’d probably have to be a decent diver to find one like this.

Tagged by: stole from ME tagging: Hey buddy is ur hair dyed? do it

#;for a curious mind #((this was hard Xeha does not carry much stuff sajfhsdlkgk))

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