#like the decision im making is uninformed jebidbfkdb
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love analysing myself tbh im my own therapist for free
#it’s fun it’s cool. it’s actually kind of horrifying sometimes because the ‘oh’ moments are kinda more ‘oh shit’ moments#anyway. i think im so worried about covid for multiple reasons. research into historic pandemics as well as disease in general meant i took#everything seriously from the start and was cognisant of the very real impact that covid could and did have on the body#but also because i saw what it could do to someone. and also watched that process happen and brought up that it could be covid while#the other people around me were in denial until it got so bad that we had to go to the hospital#and now everything is automatically filtered out because i recognised covid in my dad even when he and my mum were saying it was a cold#but people wouldn’t take me seriously then so ive felt far more confident in being safe and making decisions to protect myself even when#others judge me for it#and also i still keep up with new studies and a lot of them are horrifying#plus when a high ranking member (can’t remember if she’s the actual chair? she might be) tweets about how we have to expect more cardiac#issues and stuff because of covid then u know shits getting real#n e way.#covid tw#love being one of a scant handful of people still wearing masks#especially while people are currently coming in so incredibly sick. im not even joking they don’t sound real with the hacking coughs and#blowing their noses sounds like honking#some of the other people wearing masks are the guy with a phd in physics and the woman with a phd in epidemiology/virology. so i don’t feel#like the decision im making is uninformed jebidbfkdb#n e way. going to bed now. night night
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