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benito-cereno · 7 years

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The Haunting of Netflix House 5: The Netflix Dimension

What’s up Octobocops, it’s Halloweason. Let’s get spooked. Here are some movies of the horror and horror-adjacent genres that you might watch by yourself or with a party of friends or with the spirit of a long-deceased duke who lives in inhabits your house. This is part five; you know the goddamn drill by now.

Previously, on The Haunting of Netflix House:

2013: The Haunting of Netflix House

2014: The Haunting of Netflix House 2: Your Sister is a Netflix

2015: The Haunting of Netflix House 3: The Season of the Netflix

2016: The Haunting of Netflix House 4: The Netflix Master

A couple of notes for those who are new to the list:

This is being posted on October 2, 2017. For humans of the future who find this, the links may not all be up to date. Some might even expire by November 2017. Click at your own risk.

I try to offer both breadth and depth of options on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I’m sorry if a favorite of yours got left off. There’s a chance I just haven’t seen it yet. Feel free to reblog and add some of your favorites, but please make sure a movie is actually currently available on Netflix before jumping my shit about some nonsense I “forgot,” please and thank you.

This list is based upon movies that are available on Netflix in the US. I have no idea what is streaming on Canadian Netflix or British Netflix or Slovenian Netflix. How would I know this. Why would I know this. Please do not expect me to know this. Feel free to be the Canadian/British/Slovenian Benito and make your own list applicable to your own countryhumans.

Horror movies, by their nature, have horrific things in them. Most of these movies are violent; lots of them deal with torture, abuse, and mental illness. If some element of this jumps out to me while I’m writing these up, I’ll mention them, but if you are sensitive to or have issues with certain types of content, you might look an individual movie up on Common Sense Media first to check for content warnings.

While there are always good horror movies to be found on Netflix, if you really like scary movies, you should just get a Shudder subscription (or even just the free trial!). It has an unbeatable, well-curated selection.

All right let’s get to the goddamn movies what say

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

Jaws (this is about a shark)

The Fly (the Vincent Price version, not the Jeff Goldblum one)

Gremlins (technically a Christmas movie, obviously, but maybe you’re a rebel)

The Sixth Sense (is this a classic? I mean probably your mom has heard of it, so)

Horror Comedies:

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (highly recommended)

Little Evil (new from the maker of Tucker and Dale; great cast; more than the Omen spoof it looks like; recommended)

Troll Hunter (not horror in the traditional sense; not a “Halloween” monster; found footage style; subtitled; awesome)

Young Frankenstein (maybe you’ve heard of this one)

The Host (subtitled; not a “Halloween” monster)

Ravenous (fucking rules)

Housebound (recommended)

Patchwork (in the vein of like Re-Animator and Frankenhooker)

Deathgasm (the best the best the best; watch immediately)

The Bar

Haunted House/Ghost shit:

The Awakening

The Pact (recommended)

The Babadook (highest possible recommendation; how have you not watched this yet)

Under the Shadow (recommended; basically the Iranian Babadook)

The Canal

We Are Still Here (Barbara Crampton is in this; her name will be mentioned a few more times on this list because she is apparently a major selling point for some people)

Last Shift (haunted police station; recommended)

The Legend of Hell House (love this one; love Roddy McDowall)

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (very slow paced but atmospheric)

Coraline (yeah, the scary stop-motion one)

Vampire shit:

Stake Land (non-traditional vampire rules; not really my jam but some people love it; no idea if the sequel is good)

Byzantium

Night Watch

Werewolf shit:

Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)

When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit:

Train to Busan (this rules; subtitled)

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit:

At the Devil’s Door (from the maker of The Pact; not as good, still interesting)

The Void (Lovecraftian cult shit; very cool visuals and practical effects)

Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)

The Devil’s Candy

Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)

The Wailing (fucking amazing; subtitled)

Found footage shit:

V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence

V/H/S/2 (same)

V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)

The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended)

Creep (recommended)

They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s wild af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)

Man Vs (pretty okay)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Curse of Chucky (way better than you think it is)

Clown (the haunted clown suit movie so good that Marvel said, “Yo, this guy should be in charge of Spider-Man”)

The Windmill (it’ll do fine if you’re just looking for a new slasher; tbf it is probably the best windmill-themed slasher ever made though)

Other shit:

Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters)

It Follows (hey, what’s up, it’s the best horror movie of the past decade; highest possible rec)

Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)

The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)

Honeymoon

Starry Eyes

White God (DOG REVENGE)

They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)

Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)

Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)

The Hallow (scary fairies)

Tales of Halloween (an anthology, so a mixed bag; okay overall, but it’s definitely Halloween-y)

The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)

Beyond the Gates (I actually did not like this very much, but some people might find it interesting, especially if you like--wait for it--Barbara Crampton)

Turbo Kid (this is not really horror, but if you like horror, especially splatter stuff, you will probably like it; it is good as shit)

Gerald’s Game (new shit from Mike Flanagan and it’s really great. Deals with lots of hard issues like abuse and such so maybe take a look at content issues if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff. Also definitely not for the squeamish, so head’s up. That said, it’s really really good)

80s/90s shit:

Hellraiser (not my style, but maybe you like this stuff, iunno)

Children of the Corn

The Craft

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent):

Hush (Mike Flanagan directs; home invasion with a deaf woman protagonist; fucking rules)

The Silenced (haven’t actually watched this yet, but it looks good; don’t *think* it’s supernatural?; presumably subtitled)

The Eyes of My Mother (black and white; super bleak; beautiful and highly recommended)

Kristy

Dig Two Graves

We Need to Talk About Kevin (very bleak)

The Bad Batch (from the director of A Girl Walks Home Etc; only kind of horror-adjacent; Jason Momoa and Keanu Reeves are in this)

Sun Choke (visually beautiful but super art-housey, also lots of mental illness and abuse stuff in this one; also *Barbara Crampton*)

Zodiac (biography of Ted Cruz)

I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore (so fucking good; very funny also)

Nightcrawler (basically a vampire movie, but with a camera instead of fangs)

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries (all the good horror docs got moved to Shudder):

The Nightmare (a doc on sleep paralysis and night terrors that is so-so as a documentary, but super effective as a horror film)

Witches: A Century of Murder (history of British witch trials, reenacted; two parts)

“But, Benito!” I hear you cry. “I don’t have Netflix for some reason! What about some other streaming services?” Yeah, all right. Here are some quick hits that are definitely not exhaustive. Just a couple of party jams you might enjoy if you’ve burned through the Netflix list.

What’s on Hulu though

10 Cloverfield Lane

Monster Squad

Fright Night (the original; a must watch if you haven’t seen it)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

From Dusk Til Dawn

An American Werewolf in London

Hatchet

Pumpkinhead (check this one out if you haven’t seen it)

The Blob

I Saw the Devil (amazing)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (either version)

Shaun of the Dead

The Loved Ones

Wolfcop

The Thing

Rigor Mortis

Borgman

The Descent

Bloodsucking Bastards

Willow Creek

Berberian Sound Studio

Plus a bunch of shit that’s also on Netflix

What about Amazon Prime you idiot

The Girl with All the Gifts

Them (not Them!)

The Witch

Hell House LLC

Neon Demon

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Nosferatu

Green Room

Little Shop of Horrors (the Corman one, not the musical)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter

The Bay

Society

The Last Man on Earth

The Last Exorcism

What We Do in the Shadows

Amazon Prime is hard to navigate so that’s all. If I left off a favorite, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because it didn’t pop up in the first 20 pages of search results.

Tell me some good Shudder ones

The Innkeepers

A Tale of Two Sisters

The Gorgon

Lake Bodom

Prevenge

All the Phantasms (maybe not Ravager)

Shrew’s Nest

Noroi: The Curse

The House of the Devil

Black Sunday

Let the Right One In

Murder Party (highly recommended, esp for Halloween)

WNUF Halloween Special

Ghostwatch (play this at your party if you want to fucking win Halloween)

This list could be a million more entries long. Shudder rules.

What about Crackle/Vudu/YouTube/etc

Please shut up

As usual, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

a primer for spooky stories

a primer for Lovecraft specifically

a list of “essential” horror movies

a list of “essential” silent horror movies

a list of “essential” horror comedies

a list of suggested horror double features

a primer for Hammer horror

a list of cool movies starring Christopher Lee and Vincent Price

this list of resources, including short films and even more scary movies

a suggested Halloween playlist

a primer for spooky classical music

the scariest 20 minutes in radio history

free to play spooky games

and my general Halloween tag, which includes short films, movie trailers, comics, stories, and more

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from all sorts of sources, in case you’re wondering what’s good on more than just Netflix. Also also, maybe take a look at some of my comics, several of which are appropriate for Halloween times.

Happy Halloween, nerds!

#halloween #long post #netflix #horror movies #horror #hulu #amazon prime #shudder #the haunting of netflix house

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