#like im often saying things abt how gay men relate to me as a lesbian where im like
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hi im not reblogging ur post bc i like to keep my blog lighthearted but i wanna thank you for calling out bad behaviour in the community while still acknowledging that trans men can have experiences with misogyny and less power than cis men. i see so many posts lacking this kind of nuance (in either direction) and seeing your post was a breath of fresh air also youre so right
aw thank you i appreciate this<3 i think we get a ton of crossed wires because when trans men are held accountable for misogyny they feel like they're having their own understanding of misogyny invalidated and being told that they have to choose between being a man and being a good person. the thing is, you can understand misogyny just fine and still benefit from it. i posted a great article a while back about how men in gender studies and women's studies can demonstrate an extremely in-depth understanding of misogyny and yet still benefit from & even perpetuate it.
the point i was trying to make is that misogyny isn't just men saying bad things and it isn't just men being inexplicably evil in some way. it's a system we all live in, and marginalised people are also capable of upholding it for their own gain (or just passively benefiting from it without even knowing) even when it's not in their best interests in the grand scheme of things.
tbh i feel like where 99% of people go wrong is not understanding trans men as like, just another type of marginalised man? we KNOW that marginalised men's access to male privilege is conditional and situational and usually it means power over marginalised women in exchange for obedience to white heteropatriarchy. it feels like we r constantly being roped into a childish debate over whether trans men are essentially identical to white cishet men, or are they something which is shaped like a man but doesnt actually function like a man in society in any way.
and the thing is... a man isn't an essential thing. manhood is a jealously guarded institution of privilege. marginalised men often find themselves defending in the hopes of gaining access to it, and sometimes in some contexts they do. there aren't monolithic male and female experiences. black men can know what it's like to be afraid to walk down the street, disabled men can know what it's like to have your reproductive freedom restricted, gay men can know what it's like not to be seen as a man at all. i dont like the conversations where both sides are trying to sort people into static victim/perpetrator categories. so for one side, examples of victimhood prove they can't be perpetrators and for the other, examples of perpetration prove they can't be victims. i feel like the fact that certain trans men's response to these conversations is "well im not perceived as a man/don't access white male cishet privilege in xyz situation" shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what privilege even is. it's all very essentialist!!
#ask#anon#and the thing is the vast majority of the women in this conversation are gay/bi/trans#we're talking about like. how it relates to us#like i would encourage men in these conversations not to assume we're saying you dont experience oppression or something just because we#arent constantly mentioning it#like im often saying things abt how gay men relate to me as a lesbian where im like#taking homophobia as a shared baseline thats a given we dont need to address in this case. u know?#if it was a cishet woman she would need to make concessions to that point. but demanding the same from a l/b/t woman would be kind of ..#exactly the thing i was talking about like assuming we don't understand those experiences too etc etc#so i appreciate that u understood that was what i was putting down even though i wasnt really gentle abt how i said it bc i was pissed off#and in a hurry dfghdg
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long thoughts abt lesbian media under cut lol
i always find it interesting that a majority of the works that i like and which actively informs my own work do not come from lesbian media despite me making predominantly lesbian stories. i think utena is the only one that really has any impact on things i make but other than that its a lot of like...works with gay men instead and/or works that completely preclude gayness in general. sometimes im like "is this misogyny"? oh no! but i think it has more to do with the way lesbianism and relationships btween women is treated in the media even by wlw creators, in the sense that it is still very much gendered (and most of the time revolves around teen girls) in a way that i dont relate to. it has to do with my own relationship w gender and how i feel distanced from the distinct pureness and innocence that mainstream lesbianism is often treated to, hence finding more relatability to certain mlm media where i find its more acceptable for relationships to be "problematic" for a lack of a better term (and also bc men and relationships between men are still frequently afforded complexities in stories that women characters and relationships between women are not!).
bc ppl can say they love a mean woman but when a woman character is genuinely nasty and #problematic they are immediately demonized to the extent that men are not (not a new revelation, but a tried and true fact nonetheless). all this to say that while the "lesbian yaoi" memetrend encapsulates the kind of lesbian media i find interesting, i also hope lesbian media also becomes more varied with time in mainstream culture so that lesbian yaoi is just lesbian. Yuri. (but also not saying these works don't exist already, its just comparitively few in numbers AND quality)
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sorry 4 a lot lol but spy/heavy/sniper/soldier
im just gonna answer all of them here bc bruce repeated the same characters other people sent me but ty everyone who sent one ily
also read more bc i fucking cant shut up
spy
favorite thing about them
ghfkldjshkj i have a soft spot for trying dads :pensive: also he’s so fucking funny and i love how he talks ?? he’s such a fucking asshole but also he’s like sweet when he needs to be [like to Miss Pauling in the comics and when Scout was dying. also just the whole thing he says to Scout when he thinks hes dying makes me so fucking emo i fucking love one dad]
least favorite thing about them
ok real i like never get angrier playing in game than when im constantly being backstabbed by spies / my shit it getting sapped [but playing engie makes me so aggressive to begin w gfdghlksdhg] . about his actual character though ? uh . IDK REALLY LKJGHLKSJG
favorite line
god he’s so fucking funny sometimes but really the whole speech he gives to scout in the comics when scout’s dying . also whatever he tells that baby in the smissmas comic is good . thats a dad !
brOTP
i was gonna try to pick out my fave buddies for him but i was really just listing all of the rest of the mercs glkhfdsjk but if i must limit myself Miss Pauling and Scout [his lesbian daughter and gay son]
OTP
SNIPERSPY ! close second is . literally like everyone else except pyro [and obvs anything deplorable]
nOTP
ok ignoring anything deplorable [including Pyro] . uhhh nothing rly . Spy ships are good
random headcanon
his first name is Léon ! and he’s in stealth abt being trans except to Sniper [obvs], Scout, Medic [Medic knows bc hes . the medic], and Heavy . also he learns tht he actually likes doing “dad” stuff with Scout [and Miss Pauling] through doing stupid shit with both of them . he also enjoys singing [and gets drunk during the holidays to sing holiday songs + play the piano] . also he’s half Japanese + wears colored contacts [bc i’ll die the day i give any of the mercs natural blue eyes]
unpopular opinion
UH idk many opinions about Spy bc i try to avoid most fandom spaces [despite running a discord server kjglhl] but i think . most of the time he’s overhyped [along with the other skinny white characters frm tf2] and theres a lot more interesting characters
song i associate with them
fuck idk man Love by Of Monsters and Men or Killer Queen by Queen
favorite picture of them
im not looking for anything new ths is just what i have saved .
heavy
favorite thing about them
sweet giant russian man . also a bear [thank god] . also i love his family ?? and he’s just a cool dude ?? what’s not to love GOD I LOVE HEAVY
least favorite thing about them
not enough fan content for him :[
favorite line
he doesnt talk much but tht one line where he’s like “in russia, if hand is sick, you cut of hand, etc” tht ones so funny lkfdshlkjh i love heavy
brOTP
again literally everyone all the mercs are best friends =__=
OTP
BABEY YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS HEAVYMEDIC
nOTP
again nothing weird [Scout or Pyro and obviously Miss Pauling]
random headcanon
autistic legend . he’s really bad at reading the room / people’s feelings and he feels bad about it sometimes . really bad at displaying emotions too . also in stealth about being trans [only out to Medic and Spy] . he smokes with Spy when he’s stressed and doesn’t drink that often . also one of the neater mercs [he was the oldest sibling !!] and had one of the cleanest rooms on base .
unpopular opinion
heavy is NOT just Medic’s bear boyfriend PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD give him more solo content @ the fandom . also he’s trans and theres like no art of it even tho he’s like . trans man legend.
song i associate with them
lemon boy - cavetown . shrug .
favorite picture of them
idk HOW i dont have ANY pics saved of Heavy besides pride icons but here you go
sniper
favorite thing about them
stinky australian man . he has such creepy voice lines lgkjlkj . what is not to love ? also sexy .
least favorite thing about them
stinky . and creepy voice lines gkldhlkjds NO i love sniper sm again what is there not to love
favorite line
god his voice lines are so fucking good . all of them .
brOTP
SNIPER SCOUT BABY ! but really him w the rest of the mercs is good
OTP
SNIPERSPY . but again everyone else is good too . DemoSniper ?? very good .
nOTP
SPEEDINGBULLET . ITS SO FUCKING POPULAR TOO I WANNA DIE
random headcanon
he likes walking around a lot !! cant sit still very well . always smells like the outdoors [though not always in the best way .] can sleep almost anywhere . also not really good at picking up social cues but can wing it . cant socialize for very long periods of time without getting tired . really affectionate to people who know him . can catch any animal with his bare hands . sunglasses make it harder to see [esp in the base] but he wont admit it . really self reliant . has a lot of weird talents he just picked up while he was growing up . also he’s maori bc fuck canon .
unpopular opinion
THAT MAN IS NOT 30 YEARS OLD AND ALSO SPEEDINGBULLET IS SHIT . also like i said abt spy overhyped bc he’s white twink .
song i associate with them
UH vagabonds - misterwives or the wanderer - dion dimucci or rose colored boy - paramore
favorite picture of them
idk if i have it saved but theres that one sexy panel frm the comic
i just have ths edit but u get it . sexy .
soldier
favorite thing about them
STUPID RACCOON MAN !!!! he’s so fucking funny and i love him so much he’s so sweet .
least favorite thing about them
UH not popular enough and some of his voice lines are dumb
favorite line
literally everything Soldier says is comedy gold esp the comics w Merasmus
brOTP
again literally anyone
OTP
DEMOSOLDIER !! and also his 2nd boyfriend is Merasmus . soldier has two hands
nOTP
soldier/engie makes me wanna die
random headcanon
he’s really as dumb as rocks but has a heart of gold . he’s smart in where it counts [THE HEART] . he likes helping people even if he fucks up . he collects different things but eventually gets bored of it and moves onto something else . kinda shy about his appearance ?? hence the helmet . one of the more outspoken mercs, he’s not afraid to speak up if someone needs him to . doesnt understand any of Medic/Engie/Demo’s inventions/work but he admires them for it anyway . a beacon of joy for the base . they all love soldier even if he gets violent accidentally
unpopular opinion
HELMETPARTY IS NOT GOOD . idk much else about what the fanbase thinks of him
song i associate with them
god im running out of songs frm character playlists i made months ago tht arent tf2 related at all but We All Die Young - The Decemberists or Buzzcut Season - Lorde
favorite picture of them
HE HAS SUCH A GOOD SMILE
pyro - bruce sent me another ask w pyro on it but im lazy so im doing it here
favorite thing about them
LITTLE ARSON BABY !!!! I LOVE PYRO SO MUCH
least favorite thing about them
??????????? idk people hate pyro a lot for gameplay reasons but i could never be angry :]
favorite line
all of pyro’s lines are good esp the ones where it has multiple interpretations
brOTP
ENGIE !! THATS HIS DAD !! also Scout . and really the rest of the mercs
OTP
none .
nOTP
really anything except ig Scout . engiepyro ? exceptionally bad imo
random headcanon
the youngest of the mercs !! self conscious about his appearance . looks up to Spy bc MASK BUDDIES . gnc nb trans man [he/they pronouns] . sees engie as a dad figure and uses the muffledness of his speech to call him “dad” sometimes >:] !! really affectionate . doesnt have many talents besides setting things on fire but willing to learn any . hates talking about his past . has the worst sleep schedule out of the mercs [medic being a close 2nd] . speaking of medic, medic is the only one who knows what he looks like [secret buddies !!] . also calls spy “dad” sometimes .
unpopular opinion
im so fucking sorry i dont know how to play pyro besides wm1 but also i really dont give a shit if other people do it . let people play however they want .
song i associate with them
little pistol - mother mother / machine - misterwives / lost boy - ruth b
favorite picture of them
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