#like i KNOW why that was never really brought up in ultrakill that would be. a weird topic to bring up in a funny robot shooter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

northropi · 8 months

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ACVI is probably the widest disconnect between the degree to which I feel good at the game and the degree to which I like the overall feel of the game I've ever experienced, with Ultrakill as a runner-up.

I've only just gotten to the end of Chapter 1. I got bopped for getting greedy in CH2M1 and going for combat logs on those Tetrapods while being too scared to take resupplies out of fear that I'd get locked into that room before finding everything, and haven't really attempted that one since because frankly I'm gonna need to devise a build with more ammo first, while also just buying out half the shop in general so I don't get stuck without an easy way to overwhelm a boss again. ("oh look at me i beat Balteus with shotguns you don't need pulse weapons to do it" well i didn't have those either, genius)

Now factor in my job, the fact I'm going for a trip this weekend, and my sheer executive dysfunction, and I don't anticipate to get anywhere close to the end for a few months.

It makes me think about why I tend to shy away from games I know to be hard, you know? One definite factor is that beating something hard is just not satisfying to me. The way people describe the feeling of a boss being a pain in the ass enhancing the feeling of winning is alien to me. I feel bad during the attempts and I almost feel worse when I beat it. I get mad and cuss it out as it goes down, far from the usual reaction you see from people who like that sort of thing.

On top of that I'm never sure if I got good or if I got lucky. I don't think I'd suddenly be able to do what I did again- and I swear I straight-up glitched Balteus because while it brought the flamethrowers out at 50% HP the winning run didn't see it pop assault armor until it was at like 25%, and I two-cycled the thing. Ultrakill, Claire de Soliel on Violent, my approach essentially got patched out with the harder weapon freshness rules now. Marauder, all that time ago, yeah I ate too many hits, with only a few successful attempts at sidestepping as I stood at optimal range with the SSG out- would not have flown on any higher difficulty. At least ACVI doesn't make me have to wrap my brain around constant weapon switching, though, but the fact that I tend to play all at once without taking breaks until I'm done, out of fear that I'll forget tricks I do pick up, probably also isn't helping my performance or my mood. I stayed up for like three hours on Balteus, it just wasn't fun.

After the AH12 I felt great, that was like three attempts. Juggernaut went down in two, that optional Tetrapod was like three, and I was shredding every conventional AC I found. I kinda joined into the meme of "the Souls fans don't know how to comprehend a vertical axis." That, I feel, is kind of true. Flight is an adjustment that came naturally to me because it's just part of the games I play the most. I felt vindicated that a group I saw as acclimated to hard games was hitting a rut when they encountered a challenge I dealt with on the regular. But from everything I hear, it's almost like having an easy time with the Helo and Juggernaut, and even Sulla, who I chewed up and spat out in a matter of seconds, is almost an indicator of how bad you're gonna do on Balteus.

It's here that it all caught up to me. I can flaunt how the movement fits me like a glove, but anyone who's just used to hard games in general has a lot that I don't. Reaction times, adaptability, planning, tilt-resistance, and, of course, fucking mindset- the ability to enjoy the gauntlet, or at least to walk away and come back refreshed.

I don't have these, and I don't think I can learn them.

This is kind of where the shitty difficulty discourse we've been in for ten years breaks apart. Souls games initially seemed like a mix of just not looking like my type of game on a functional level, and too hard for me to approach, and with what looked like little reward for a lot of struggling, I simply didn't. With how popular they are, it eventually hit me that they actually do look really fun when they're not pushing your nose into the dirt. I wanna play them in some context where I can be kept from getting mad, streaming them with friends or something (unfortunate that the one that looks the most appealing to me is also currently the least accessible).

Here comes ACVI, which I knew was gonna be hard but, hey, at least it closes the other side of that equation, maybe I'll have fun losing or even "git gud" and have some talent to show for it. Then Balteus made me feel fucking ill and I just don't know anymore. I kinda just want to go back to drawing for the last few hours of this weekend, but I'm afraid I'll never finish it if I do. Maybe a more functional version of me would see that break as exactly what she needs to come back and crush it but with the brain I have here and now that's not happening and this is at serious risk of becoming a second Signalis situation.

#armored core #armored core 6 #ac6 #fires of rubicon #rant post #am i putting too much of my self worth on a fucking video game? i might be. iunno.

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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 4 days

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okay um. i still wanna do more editing to this because im not 100% satisfied but I wrote a TMA/Ultrakil crossover fic. :]

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Statement of Sisyphus Corinth, regarding his interaction with a figure stalking him throughout his day. Original statement given March 15th, 20xx. Audio recording by Johnathon Sims, Head Archivist of The Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

I'm not sure when I first noticed him.

He would always stare at me as I worked.

Let's start at the beginning. I work at a group dedicated to helping people get their lives back together from loss, addiction, homelessness, that sort of thing. It's good work, I feel proud doing it. I liked the life I built for myself. Seeing people turn their lives around is really something.

We have weekly meet ups, we direct them to resources if they need them, lend a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes my friend from work would even send people here if they needed to. He's uh… actually the one that suggested I come here.

His eyes and head were covered, from a distance it looked like some sort of cross between a knights helmet and a bad halloween mask and combined with the cloak he wore he stood out like a sore thumb.

Despite that… somehow I knew he was looking right at me.

I tried to ignore him at first, thought maybe he was just nervous about joining the group, but he never entered. He never spoke. He only ever stared.

I tried to focus on other things, like helping people, but I always felt his eyes locked onto me.

Whenever I'd quit for the day he was always gone.

Sometimes I wondered if I'd just hallucinated him.

But my friend said he saw him too.

He looked nervous and I didn't know why.

I don't know much about my friends past, and I knew better than to ask, but sometimes someone would mention seeing something impossible, or should be impossible, and he'd clam right up.

It worries me.

I don't like seeing my friend, or anyone else, get hurt. It's one of the few things that bother me.

If that masked stranger did anything to hurt him or one of the clients… I don't know what I'd do.

We both kept trying to focus on work but there was a tension in the air. Like we were both waiting for something.

It was this most recent meeting where something changed.

I was helping to close up for the day and I was about to head out and I noticed he was still out there. The light reflected off his mask and made it hard to look right at him.

I swallowed nervously.

He was usually gone by now.

I finished up cleaning and told Minos I was heading out.

He told me he had some stuff to take care of and told me he'd still be there.

As I walked outside that strange person was right by the door.

He reached out and tried to touch me.

It could've been a trick of the light or the fact I wasn't fully looking at him, but I swear his skin was melting. Dripping like rivulets of wax down a candle.

That close, I could see in the thin slits between his metal mask.

I- I can't describe it as anything other than fire. Not fiery in a poetic way, like it was pure fire someone had placed inside his mask where his eyes were supposed to be.

I'm not sure if I even saw flesh. Just fire.

His hand successfully grabbed my wrist, and I still remember that searing, burning pain.

It was like nothing I had ever felt before. That level of pain and agony…

I yelled for him to get off of me, asking what he was doing, and yet he still said nothing.

I managed to pull my hand away and get away from him. I looked down and my skin was… it was burned so badly that it was starting to sizzle and bubble.

I held in the tears from the pain, enduring it as best as I could.

When I looked up again, he was gone.

As soon as my friend heard me yelling he came out to check on me. He found me hunched over, holding my burned arm with my other hand and looking around in fear. Waiting for him to come back and finish the job.

He brought me back inside and took out the first aid kit and started tending to my burns.

I hissed as the lukewarm water touched my burnt skin. Even that felt like agony.

I still didn't cry.

Not even when the simple act of wrapping gauze around it made me briefly feel that same intense pain again.

When I was all patched up he said he'd take me to the emergency room, but that he wanted to know who did this, and why.

When I told him some guy was outside waiting for me, and how it looked like… he was melting and just the touch of his bare skin on mine id this and my friend got this worried look on his face.

I didn't sense judgement from him, just a look of pure sorrow on his face.

I knew I sounded crazy. I still think I sound crazy writing it here to tell you.

And then he asked me if I had ever heard of The Magnus Institute.

I'm not sure how he knew about you guys or if you can even help but… I'm worried. I'm not an easy guy to make uncomfortable, let alone scared but I… I'm scared about what happens when he comes back.

It's not a question of if.

I know he's waiting for me.

Statements ends.

Upon further research into Mr. Corinth's case we found police records stating him and a co-worker went missing sometime in July. They have yet to be found.

We haven't been able to find anything on a masked stalker anywhere in the Archives records, but the wax skin… I feel as though I've heard mention of something like this before.

I've done some digging into his co-worker, and while he did give a statement it has apparently been misfiled. Perhaps that one will shed more light on the situation…

As of now there is no more follow up that can be done here, unless we somehow find more information or other statements to corroborate his story.

End recording.

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