hey i need ur felix and oliver and cattonquick headcanon s RIGHT NOW… ❤️

Well uh uh uh there's 200k+ words on ao3 which contains some of this but... under the cut because it's vaguely nsfw in places, keeping this as like... Oxford Ladz.

Felix is shit in bed unless you turn it into a challenge/game, and even then he's lazy as fuck so good luck. Most girls don't care because shagging Felix is like being chosen by a god. His routine is: snog for a bit, maybe shove his hand down your knickers, then it's the Catton Jackhammer asap until he rolls off you and falls asleep.

Going out with Felix is generally shit. He shags you maybe 4 times, then ghosts you and you find out he's moved on by seeing him fingering another girl outside of a club at 2am. He might buy you something, but the most expensive gift he'll get you is most likely some shots or a 3am kebab.

Oliver? Good in bed because he is An Observer and will see what works then Do That Until You Die. However, he only really sleeps with girls to help Felix out (he gets the friend, Felix gets the hot girl). He mostly thinks of Felix when he does this, but tells himself it's in a lie back and think of england way. He also tends to stick to hands/mouth stuff, because otherwise it's "why aren't you hard" and he panics.

Oliver is perpetually single, despite Felix's best efforts. Felix does not understand why girls have such bad taste. He insists Ollie is an absolute legend and anyone would be lucky to have him. He also gets oddly grumpy if any girls DO organically hit on Ollie, though.

Felix's short-lived "girlfriends" all think it's a little weird that Felix touches Oliver more than he touches them. Like he won't hold hands in public, but he's got his arm around Oliver all the time? Weird. If you're dancing with Felix and go to get a drink, most of the time he'll be dancing with Oliver once you're back and it is hard to get his attention back.

Felix gives me vague adhd vibes, maybe dyslexia, but he was born in the 80s and he's rich af, so it's never really mattered because he never has to try.

Big Oliver Autism vibes, the man is MASKING but again... circumstances mean he's just brute forcing things.

Felix has been made to play Team Sports but doesn't like them unless it's for silly reasons.

Oliver likes exercising, but mostly goes to the gym to be in a weird little physical activity enduced void.

Felix has honestly been bi as fuck forever, but never really considered why he was down to let lads in his dorm snog him back in boarding school because it was just kinda the done thing. Haha, just hormones, amiright?

Both of them feel vaguely destined to become their fathers and do not want to do that.

Felix had very weird feelings for Damon Albarn as a teen but again. Never thought about it too hard, he's just a pretty man, bloody hormones again!

Oliver cannot drive. He refuses to drive. He has his provisional licence for ID and that's IT.

Felix is often trying to annoy Oliver because any attention is good attention. Oliver just wants to revise, Felix, please stop drawing dicks on his notebook.

Felix absolutely is going full hair-twirly, eyelid-fluttery, dreamboy bimbo at Oliver constantly. Oliver does not pick up on this, but Farleigh does and is honestly a little disgusted.

Speaking of- Farleigh is primarily concerned that he pegged Oliver for an absolute capital-L Loser on day ONE and now his stupid cousin is basically throwing himself at Oliver. Farleigh has theories, including maybe hypnosis or Felix having some sort of brain injury from Team Sports.

Oliver was absolutely bullied in school, but not extremely, because he learned to make himself invisible. Head down, keep going, don't react.

Oliver didn't really GET music until Felix showed him stuff that wasn't just radio pop music. Unfortunately, this was after Oliver spent way too long trying to understand why Steps were so popular.

Oliver's initial haircut is based off of Zac Efron's in High School Musical. He has never seen HSM, but something about Zac Efron made him feel weird, and it just sort of... happened. He has a type, and it's Jawline and Eyebrows.

Felix's first thought upon getting close enough for Oliver to do the Big Blue Eyes Look Up At Him was "oh no," followed by just question marks and bike panic. And also, bi panic.

Farleigh complained to Felix a lot about Oliver but never used his name. It was just "the fucking nerd in my tutorial group".

Oliver honestly didn't connect Farleigh and Felix as cousins, because he was mostly too busy trying not to be painfully in love with Felix to join the dots from a throwaway comment in his first tutorial.

The money in Oliver's wallet at the pub was meant to last for the next two weeks. Boy gotta get lunch and buy bodywash and stuff, not shots for rich kids.

Felix immediately begins relying on Oliver to know his schedule. Oliver just accepts this and sends Felix reminder texts for his tutorials.

Felix keeps leaving hoodies in Oliver's dorm room. This is weird because they are rarely in there for longer than a minute or two. Oliver wears these hoodies because Felix keeps insisting that they'd suit him. Farleigh, yes, sees this and is fucking CONCERNED.

Felix assumes he'll have to get married and have kids as it is his duty to continue the Catton Line. He keeps making weird jokes about his and Oliver's kids getting married.

Oliver says he fancies Kiera Knightley. This is incorrect. Kiera Knightley is just the closest woman he could find to Felix.

Oliver lies to his parents mostly to avoid any visits or needing to go home because going back there is awful and stifling and guilt-inducing.

A few people in their group refer to Oliver as Felix's Pet, but only when neither of them are there. Farleigh started it.

Felix's initial emotional reaction to Ollie's Field Reveal was immense pride and the urge to punch Farleigh in the arm very hard if he didn't stop staring, the pervert. Felix was not staring, he was merely pointing his eyes in that direction, thanks.

Felix always has something in his mouth and it makes Oliver want to die. Most of Oliver's pens and pencils have Felix toothmarks on.

Felix does not understand how much things cost. Oliver does. Oliver wishes Felix would stop picking things up that "made me think of you, Ollie!" Because. Felix. That t-shirt was £50. What is WRONG WITH YOU.

Felix has occasionally considered seeing if Ollie'd be up for a devil's threeway if he found someone willing. He isn't brave enough to ask, because he knows Oliver would say no, but he thinks about the idea a lot. You know. Just a regular wild Uni party thing, right?

If Oliver hadn't gone to Felix, Felix would have turned up sloppy, SLOPPY drunk outside of Oliver's room one night and had a big baby tantrum and probably shoved his tongue down Oliver's throat. It would be the worst handjob of Oliver's life, but also the best.

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

favorite color: green

last song: good luck, babe! by chappell roan

last movie: the passenger (rewatch on discord)

currently reading: nothing, really short fics and mostly whatever mota smut @sweaterkittensahoy and @bitchsister post lol

currently watching: shameless!!!

currently craving: just woke up so breakfast i guess, chocapic cereal

coffee or tea: chocolate milk

tagging: i dont even know 9 people @coldblooded-angel @ib3li3v3you @caleblandrybones @leiflitter @runkevinrunnnn @icantspellthings @im-getting-help @daysofxavierspast @sweaterkittensahoy

Thank you for the very detailed reply! You’ve given me a lot to think about from a legal perspective. Follow up questions (feel free to ignore if I’m pestering you) in the hypothetical scenario that Felix simply tires of Oliver the way he did with Eddie, does Oliver still react the same way? If their friendship had ended on more amicable, gradual, mundane terms, is Oliver still pushed over the edge to the point that murder is on the table? I think his first instinct would be to crank up the lies, but if Felix doesn’t bite? He’d still be heartbroken, but would he be as angry as he was at “you make my blood run cold”?

Had Felix lived, do you think he would’ve eventually grown into a stiff upper lipped snob? After all, Elspeth was also a party girl who fraternised with rock stars and then look at the version we meet.

This is an unpopular opinion I guess but to me the heartbeat of the movie was Felix. I know Oliver is more popular, especially on Tumblr, but I was completely smitten with Jacob Elordi. What are your headcanons about him? Mine is that the reason he was found so quickly is because Venetia raised the alarm. I think she was very very attached to him (maybe to an unhealthy amount the way a lot of people seem to be) and no matter how busy things got she always had one eye on her brother, making sure he was okay.

My pleasure to answer, Anon! 1. In the hypothetical scenario that Felix got bored, Oliver would continue to try to find ways to hook Felix back in. The only way he would then act with more murderous intent would be if there were no going back whatsoever. No way out but this. Oliver, in the moment where he decides to give Felix the bottle, is a hurt animal backed into a corner. So he reacts impulsively and emotionally. Outside of that context, he will continue to do anything that he has to do to continue to be interesting to Felix and to keep himself in Felix's orbit while not harming Felix as long as he does not believe that there is no other way. I do not think there would be a reason for Oliver to let it go. He would keep at it and never let go. And it's evident that he would continue to get at it since, in film canon, it has been 15 years and he continues to view Felix as his God, worthy of his love and idolatry, despite being dead. If I may quote NBC Hannibal for a moment, Dr. DuMaurier tells Will Graham (now having accepted the dark parts of his nature and desirous to act chaotically in order to free his would be lover): "You found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that." Though I won't get into the dissection we could make of that line in the context of its source, I can express that, to Oliver, Felix is, essentially, his religion. And Oliver is nothing short of devout. Yes, even sacrificing Felix falls into a sense of idolatry because he has forever frozen Felix at the height of his perfection through Oliver's eyes. The way Felix is framed in the opening and closing montages of the film, through Oliver's eyes, tells us as such. Felix is forever perfect. Given that this is how Oliver sees Felix and feels about Felix regardless of all the foibles that Felix certainly has, he would NEVER let Felix go. Ever. He would keep trying to hook Felix or he would die trying.

2. I do speculate a bit about this more in my fic than I have in proper meta, but...Felix would have an immense amount of pressure on him to confirm to fit a specific mould. Despite that Venetia is older, context clues in the film (such as Felix having the conversation with Farleigh in regards to money for Frederica) indicate that it would have been Felix to inherit the estate and the title that goes along with it, certainly. This means that while some deviation from the "standard" picture of stiff upper lip aristocracy might've been tolerated, it would not have been permissible and allowed in its entirety. @leiflitter covers bits of this in their wonderful You're Almost Home series which, if you've not read, I strongly recommend. In their story, an adult Felix still retains bits and pieces of the vibrant personality that makes him him, but parts of it have been dampened by the circumstance of him having a quickie marriage to a woman he barely knew because she got pregnant, becoming a parent (especially becoming a parent very young), and eventually becoming the Master of the Estate and, if I'm not mistaken, a baronet. Per the rules of the aristocracy, there was no way that Felix could simply not marry a girl he got pregnant. He had to marry her to cover the scandal and the baby serves as an heir which would be expected of him. Even if we go outside of this wonderful fic, and go back into canon meta, Felix has expectations on him: marrying a woman, having heirs, inheriting and managing Saltburn. It doesn't seem like a lot and it does come with gargantuan wealth but, you said it yourself, Elspeth used to run around with musicians and was probably wild back in the day, but she became a house cat, so to speak, when she became the Lady of Saltburn. And Elspeth would arguably have had less expectation on her. She needed to marry rich and birth heirs and be the picture of quiet civility. She is likely, as we know her, a dampened version of who she was before marriage. Felix has just the bit more of not only perpetuating the system to which he belongs but managing it. It's a lot of responsibility to put on one person. And, I think, he's already keenly aware of the responsibility that will fall onto his lap even before his father dies. It's why he buries his emotions in alcohol, drugs, and (terrible) sex with girls he couldn't give a flying fig about. So, while I do think some who 20yo Felix is survives an adulthood in the aristocracy, we're looking at an adult Felix being kinda like his mum in some aspects and kind of like his dad in others (dampened, stiff upper lip versions of who they probably really are).

3. I don't know that it's an unpopular opinion, actually. In my opinion, the film itself tells you it's about Felix. It's often misinterpreted (specifically by shit critics and YouTubers) as being a bad "Eat the Rich" movie with Oliver being the wild bisexual who just wanted the Cattons' riches. However, the first line is about Oliver "not" being in love with Felix. And, we know from Emerald, that is a lie. That Oliver was in love with Felix. It's evident from how the camera frames Felix. It's evident with the fact that the light goes from rich and golden while Felix is alive, to stark and white in a post-Felix world. Felix is Oliver's religion, and he is the story. He is, as you said, the heartbeat. What happens is that Oliver is a lot more fun to dissect than Felix is. I say this as someone who continuously dissects Felix and have put a lot of the dissection of his character into fic. But, Oliver would not be Oliver without Felix. He didn't really exist before him and we wouldn't have the film or any of the events without Felix being this Apollo coded figure. Also, yes, Jacob Elordi's subtle performance as Felix often goes unnoticed, but it was absolutely wonderful.

4. Ok so one of my head-canons would be this (another long post because it's how I do when I really get into it). Venetia is his older sister, so I agree that she is very protective of him (Again, something I explore more in my fic than I have in meta but I could do a whole post on the sibling dynamics). I have other small ones like Felix repeatedly took his shoes off and threw them when he was very little, that his guitar playing is subpar but he knows how to play Oasis' Wonderwall and probably played it for Ollie, that he could not pick out India or Annabel out in a police lineup (I just don't think he really views them as people), that he has a MASSIVE sweet tooth and prefers "girly" cocktails to more "manly" drinks but doesn't order them because he doesn't want people to judge, that he has comfort clothes and wears them until they're beyond repair (like the blue sweater at the beginning of the film having holes for example), etc. Felix is lovely and we know so little about him and I do adore him. I get why Oliver lost his mind over this big himbo.

Tagged by the wonderful @rowanisawriter in this very cool game:

rules: pick up to 10 characters and share one of your favorite lines of dialogue you have ever written for them!

Tagging @thievinghippo @senseandaccountability @leiflitter @commander-krios @persephoning and anybody else who wants to play! It's a good meme!

Going to try and stick to in-game characters, too many lines for my gals.

The Iron Bull, Dragon Age from a fictober prompt

“The things you add, that’s the easy part.” he replied. “The part that’s hard? What you’ve lost to get there. And that’s not always physical. Losing my eye hurt way less than realising that some idiot was willing to take it over something so stupid.”

2. Sten, Dragon Age, Asit tal-eb, the way things are meant to be

“The rain here is… particular.” He knelt beside her, pulling her into his side with a sweep that almost knocked her off her feet. “In Seheron, the rains can be strong enough to sweep you away. It can rain for days. When the night comes and the sun disappears, the cold can get into the bones of any solider, no matter how accomplished he may be.” She could feel the strength of his body against hers, and the warmth of it spreading along her entirety. He looked down on her, his eyes catching the first rays of dawn that hit them from the horizon. “And you, Kadan, are a small and untested thing.”

3. Raleigh Samson, Dragon Age, again a fictober prompt

“That didn’t stop you before,” came the gruff answer as Samson struggled to sit upright. “You were a wet boy with a head full of demons and thought nothing of letting them ravage your command, your charges. So maybe asking yourself if you are is the best thing you’ve done in your poxy command, did you think of that?”

4. Merrill, Dragon Age, An Educational Experience (which I will always regret not finishing!

“Of course, I could be talking about the old Arishok or the new Arishok, or any of the other Arishok’s too I suppose, but I only know the big horny- I mean, the one with all the- and the other one, without the horns. Those are the two I know. I’m not really very well read on Qunari. If there’s even records. I don’t know, I’ve never looked Are there? But I meant the old one, anyway. Not that new one. Who travelled with Mahariel, is that right? The hero of Ferelden, I mean. To me, he’ll always be Mahariel. I can’t imagine him having the patience to be friends with a Qunari. No offense. I mean… He was always very quick to temper, always very passionate, not like… Oh dear, I’ve put my foot in it now. I’m sure you’re very nice. You seem quite nice, Serah The Iron Bull-"

5. Gale Dekarios, BG3, Breath and Rosewater

“You have treated me with nothing but care, with compassion,” he says as he pushes himself up further, his breath heavier just from that small effort. “You have borne things from me that no others would. You have entertained my silly ideas, you have indulged me in a number of ways and shared with me wonderful gifts. You have been an extraordinary surprise to me.”

6. Enver Gortash, BG3, Control

“Let me drape the curve of your hip in the finest silk,” he says, squeezing the flesh of her in a golden hand, the Netherstone tantalisingly in reach. “Let me adorn these blooded fingers with diamonds, with rubies.”

7. Halsin, BG3, The First Leaf on the Tree after Winter

“I no more seek to replace the memory of your husband than you seek to forget him,” Halsin says, pulling away and taking her hand in his. “He lives in you, and I love the presence of him in you. There is no need from me, aside from to be in your company, for as long as you would like it. Even if it is just for this morning.”

8. Jaheira, BG3 The First Leaf on the Tree after Winter

“I am here, Halsin. As I promised I would be. Am I to mount some kind of grand seduction now? Play the coquette?”

9. Sceleritas Fel, BG3, Even if Love

Why yes, Master. He understands that the Black Hand can be cut from the flesh by the instrument of murder! He is right to [apologise]. It was excellently done.

10. And finally, Ketheric Thorm, Bg3, Blood and Bone, Bone and Blood

“If that is what you think care is, child, then I pity you,” he says, as his arms wrap around her one last time.

Hi I'm doing a research paper on antiheroes and I'm using Oliver as one example. Could you maybe tell me why he appeals to you as a character despite the murdering and the scheming etc

You come into my askbox while I sleep and make me think? First thing in the morning? BUT I SHALL ANSWER

won't make any sense probably but HEY!

I think the main reason I love Oliver is because I can see a lot of myself in him.

Cut bc this will be long af

Granted, my perspective on the character is... I spend a lot of time thinking about that idiot, so this is fully based on my interpretation of him buttttt

Okay, so the murders and scheming are firstly... Ambiguous. Elspeth is the only one we see as it happens- not in a flashback, big-twist, oh it was my evil plan all along #classwarfare #girlboss #theyhatetoseeabadbitchwinning way- and she's so far gone she's on a ventilator and just dies without it. How did she get so sick? It isn't mentioned. Honestly, as someone with long covid, she's wandering around London without a mask. LADY. YOUR LUNGS.

Everything else? The spiked bottle. The razorblades. They're shown to us at the end, this big gotcha moment... From someone who has clearly spent every moment since Felix Catton died trying desperately to gather some small piece of him.

His home is decorated like Saltburn. He's immediately trying to get back in. The moth battering itself against the window.

Whether or not Oliver Quick is an evil, scheming murderer is entirely down to your interpretation of that reveal montage. Mad props to Emerald for that.

My interpretation of it is... Not to say he's innocent, but that he's a sad, sad man grasping at straws to give himself more agency. He's spent years dwelling on and analysing the worst time of his life, and as a good Eng Lit student (dude was doing essays on Browning) he's turned it into a narrative.

If we stop suspending disbelief, then we have:

Felix

Oliver put some cocaine in a bottle (as evidenced by Oliver having the same sort of vial Farleigh has in the main hall). Oliver drank some. Felix drank some. He threw up, Felix died.

I have probably said this before, but Felix's death cannot be directly attributed to Oliver's actions.

Felix was in the bathroom, and although we don't see him doing lines, he's not just hanging out there for funzies. He's going hard, probably mixing drugs and booze. He's so off his tits that he doesn't notice how bad/bitter the booze Oliver gives him tastes. Plus there's a reason people snort cocaine; it's efficacy is highly reduced when eaten, and it takes far longer to reach the brain. How long would Felix have just stood in the maze? Waiting there like a sim with no activities queued until he keeled over?

It's likely that Felix overdosed, but it's really unlikely that Oliver was the sole cause, if he was the cause at all.

Venetia

He left razorblades near her. That's literally all we see. From Oliver as a character, I don't think he has the guts to actually, directly kill- and it wouldn't make sense to. He'd be found out immediately if he did- any sign of violence and the Cattons would have private investigators and all sorts at their disposal. He was in the next room. It'd be open and shut. I do think, from the blood on the floor, that she tried to go to his room for help and he ignored her- but!

Leaving something sharp near someone in distress is another shitty scheme. What was he going to do if she didn't notice them? What if she knocked them off the side of the tub accidentally? Was he going to leave her a post-it note like HI V PLS KYS LUV OLLIE to make sure she noticed them?

Another thing that often is kinda... Glossed over... Is that Oliver is a fuckin teenager, and he isn't as smart as he portrays himself.

Olls. Why would you fool about with Felix's sister in plain view of the house? Ollie. What exactly did you expect one email to do? Erase Farleigh from existence? Oliver. Mate. You left your phone in the bathroom? Where Felix "no boundaries" Catton could find it? Why? Did you need to play Snake in the bath THAT BADLY? Oliver. Why would you lie about something so easily disprovable? Oliver Quick, you started digging a hole and it became Felix's fucking grave.

Older Oliver has turned what happened into a narrative where He Has Agency. He did it, and he did it on purpose, because HE WASN'T IN LOVE WITH FELIX (he was in love with Felix). He had a plan, you see, it wasn’t him being desperate and trying anything, everything he could to stay close to Felix.

He wasn’t a weird, awkward teenager who went away from home, fell in love with someone entirely unobtainable- due to socioeconomic bracket, gender, the year, all of that- and was so desperate to be near Felix that he built an unsustainable web of lies that fell apart. I think the maze scene is Oliver at his most honest, because he doesn't understand why his performance is any different, other than the amount of effort he's put in.

No, he was evil. A bad guy. A wolf in sheep's clothing, Felix his innocent victim. He's a genius... Because what is the alternative for Oliver Quick?

Admit that he was little more than a child, lashing out, unable to accept his own feelings- as he's unable to accept them as an adult- and now...

The immutable fact is that Felix died, and Oliver will never be over it.

What's the safer option?

I was a mess and I might be responsible for this and I was lashing out and I might have killed the thing I loved most because I fucked it all up.

or

I did it all on purpose.

And... To bring this back to the question.

I have been Oliver Quick in the bit before the bike scene. I've watched people I'd like to be friends with, living a life I was too shy or scared to go after. I can remember desperately wanting to be cool, to have a backstory, to be compelling...

I just never got desperate enough to lie. And I'm doing pretty good now, but I fucking get it. To want that connection so badly, to yearn for the life you see other people living, to want to be someone other than yourself.

So y'know

That's why I love him.

LITERALLY from the beginning of the film felix is always touching and getting close to ollie and kissing him. he loved ollie back. he contemplated kissing ollie for a moment in that maze. he cared about ollie more than the rest and loved him back argue w the wall!!!!

Legit it's like... part of the tragedy of the piece is that due to the time it's set in, the class divide, Oliver's lack of confidence and Felix's lack of sincerity... they can't just have an actual conversation

Neither of them have the skills or maturity to handle it. They're young and stupid and can't really understand each other, and legit... Oliver's grand plan just seems mostly like someone struggling to give meaning to loss.

He couldn't move on from Felix because there was never something concrete to move on FROM, and he had to turn it into something he had agency in...

Instead of a sad, stupid, boring boy lashing out because he wanted to be loved for who HE was the way he loved Felix.

Re: canon Felix not remembering to tell Ollie about the formalwear, I think it's his self-centeredness making him shortsighted and oblivious but also maybe subconsciously giving himself another chance at playing white knight (just like taking Ollie home because his mother "sounded sober") and feeling good about himself.

(In an alternate universe where Felix is slightly more thoughtful, he doesn't mention the clothes precisely because he knows there's no way Oliver owns or can afford them. Why give him something to worry about when Felix can pretend an oversight and then wave the problem away in seconds rather than put him in the uncomfortable position of having to either reject the invitation or ask for a handout? (double saviour points!) ... But in that universe Felix may have also realized it was weird that Oliver didn't need a summer job)

Okay so I wrote a lot then I deleted it to be more coherent but okay. OKAY.

Felix as Philanthropist. Felix as the hand of God, lifting people from mundanity. Felix as the Knight Who Saves The Princess.

Felix is none of these things, despite wanting to be, because Felix doesn't understand the nature of true kindness. Not really.

What Felix wants is to be universally adored. He mostly is, too, because he's a bombshell hottie-hot rich boy, but the problem is that it's too fucking easy. Everything has diminishing returns to Felix. He gets what he wants, when he wants- and that will make you numb. It's like a callous; Felix has probably only felt actual, deep emotions fleetingly, and even then... He tells Oliver he threw a stone for his dog but...

He doesn't say his dog's name. He loved the dog enough to go through the family ritual for death, but now the dog is nameless.

(I have named the dog Barney, btw, because all pups deserve a name)

Oliver, unlike everyone else, puts up a resistance to Felix's Will. Even Farleigh comes with the begging bowl.

"It's an awful faff to wheel it back to campus" "oh, you want me to..."

Their first proper interaction and Oliver makes him self-conscious. You can see it- he breaks his Felix Eye Contact and goes all hand-wavey and awkward, before Oliver says he will.

That establishes the pattern. Felix wants. Oliver denies. Felix has to try harder. Oliver gives in. Felix likes it.

Oliver is proud despite his apparent circumstances, and despite everything Felix could hold over him, Oliver refuses to just get on the floor and lick his boots and worship him the way everyone else does. Oliver does this because he knows that Felix gets bored when things are too easy, but also because he wants Felix to actually care about him. If Felix stops trying, it means Felix no longer cares, so Oliver makes him demonstrate his affection. To paraphrase-

"Come to Saltburn" - accept my glory and benevolence. Make me feel good. Let me save you.

"It's too much of an imposition." - prove to me that you want me there. Prove to me you care about me. Prove to me that I am more to you than the others.

"You'll save my sanity, really." - I need you to give in so I can actually feel good about myself. Please.

Now, the Hot Argument is a reversal of this. Oliver wants. Felix says no. Oliver tries harder. Felix does not like it.

Then Oliver comes back, with a new chapter of tragedy, which is Oliver Giving In, which Felix Likes.

Now the Dinner Jacket and the Birthday Trip are, actually, both the same thing. Felix has learned the pattern, you see, and he wants to skip straight to Felix Likes It without the initial pushback. He's on his home turf- and look.

Felix knows Oliver doesn't Get It. Felix absolutely knows. His family know all about Oliver’s Sad Circumstances- even if he Told Them In Confidence, that just means they don't talk about it in front of Oliver. He has probably been absolutely writhing about how NICE he's being while waiting for Oliver to arrive, the same as he was in the Was It Awful scene. He's been watching for Oliver to arrive (it's a big house- he pops up maybe 5 seconds after Ollie's come in), seen him be absolutely cowed by Duncan and swooped in to Save Him in his see-throughish white shirt.

Given him the grand tour.

And it starts- not with the jacket, but with the razor.

Felix is dripfeeding Oliver information because then he can bypass the whole Oliver says No part of their little dance. He probably doesn't know it, but that's what he's doing.

"Oh and you need to shave."

"Oh and the maids tell mum everything."

"Oh and you need to dress for dinner."

He doesn't warn Oliver about The Help opening the windows. Or the Henry party. Or the field. He lets Oliver get to the cusp of Something, then Oliver has to give in.

The Birthday Trip is the culmination of it.

Oliver doesn't fight Felix about the trip. About wearing something nice. He doesn't ask and Felix doesn't tell him, because Felix wants him captive.

If Felix actually thought about it for longer than 20 seconds, he might have realised that there's no way this would go well. He hid Oliver's mum's phonecall for a week. A week.

He probably wouldn't have even told Oliver if he could avoid it. I bet he'd have blindfolded him if it was a short trip. Because Felix wants to Be The Hero and roll up to the shack that he assumes Oliver grew up in and rain money on the problem to make it go away.

And what would have happened if it WAS as bad as Oliver described? Oliver would have been humiliated just as badly as he was by the lie coming out. Felix would realise that he is out of his depth, and... am I going to need to write my version of this? Maybe. Oops.

We see Felix through the lens of Oliver's love, but once again:

They're both idiot kids. They're 19/20, immature, off their faces on Saltburn and being young and the weird dynamic between them. It was never going to go well.

hello babygirl

do you mind if once you finish YAH, i print it out and bind it all pretty and treasure it forever on my bookshelf?

only if you send pics and I can cry

but also YAH1 IS FINISHED and I uh

I don't have a set end point for YAH2 (I should decide, really, but... Well, I have a lot planned?) so it may be A While 😅

AAAAAH CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE US THE FIRST PARAGRAPH (or sentence) OF YAH2 PLEASEEEEEEEE

The first sentence is gonna be- although some minor editing may happen...

FELIX

The wedding was off, and it was all Oliver’s fault.

What's your favorite scene you've written for YAH and YAH2? Or if that's too much to narrow down, a couple?

oh boy

the first proper confession scene in Oliver’s flat.

Their first kiss/subsequent bathtub regression time

Felix thinking about Venetia's ghost

The CHRISTMAS PARTY

Felix and Oliver tattoo time and going at it on the dining room table

The Prescot Felix reveal

honestly I really love the single bed sleepy morning sex scene it is so cute

and the lads going clubbing

obvs the FINALE of YAH1 fuckin hell

Felix vs pool lounger

I also rlly love the chapters where people comment about how they're seeing more of the OCs- the whole Lu arc had people going from I HATE HER to GOOD FOR HER and I love that.

Also the Gavey Jumpscare. Get that MFer SPOOKED.

Diff anon here! How would u do midsommar!cattonquick?

AIGHT SO

There are multiple configurations, but I would go with:

Felix as Dani.

Eddie as Christian.

Vee and Farleigh filling in for Mark and Josh (we can have a fun doppelganger moment with Farleigh and Simon!)

Oliver as Pelle.

We need to fuck about with the dynamics a bit, because reasons, and we can use Eddie as a lil bit of a dynamic foil for that. Also, I am picturing him as being played by Johnny Flynn.

So; it's the first summer back from Oxford.

Felix and Eddie are in a secret relationship. Eddie, however, is fucking around on Felix with everyone he can, even Venetia, with the excuse of "if I didn’t it would be weird" etc.

Felix finds out about Eddie sleeping with Vee at the start. He's fucking spiralling hard, he could deal with Annabel and India but his sister?

Eddie is more fun than Felix and is having a handjob on a haybale summer with Vee and Farleigh and Oliver. Ollie has kinda wriggled into the group via being in the same tutorial group as Farleigh, and Farleigh is hoping to get him to do some of his essays.

Vee etc don't know why Felix is being so weird. Oliver suggests that they head up North. Take a road trip to his hometown. They do all these weird old pagan things- someone probably makes a Wicker Man joke, Oliver chuckles.

They all head up North. Oliver and Felix are in the same car, and Oliver is very nice to Felix. Felix is trying not to act weird over Eddie, but Oliver seems to know that they're together and is very kind about it.

They head to Prescot, where they meet Paula and Jeff... And then start going somewhere else? Oliver explains that plenty of members of their community go out into the world, but they come back home every summer.

Deep, deep in the British countryside is a plague-era village. You can't get to it easily, you have to go down this hidden and heavily rutted road and it's probably in the Peak District or something so it's really hilly and rural and basically hidden by trees. They follow Paula and Jeff's car there.

They're welcomed by Oliver's big sisters and other members of the village. Oliver explains how it works, casually mentioning that same sex relationships are fine as "there are plenty of children to look after. Two uncles or two aunts isn't a problem. It just means two more people to love the children and help them grow up safe and protected."

Midsommaring commences!

felix before oxford and ollie before oxford head canons plz… u know who this is by now 😋❤️

Let's go my lil buddy!

Felix!

Boarding school, obvi, all boys. Absolutely the people's princess of the place. Had lads lining up around the block to carry his bags for him and all that. Occasionally got off with someone or other, but he was, again, a princess and so it wasn't him doing stuff to them, it was Felix not having to use his own hand.

Ton of school clubs and extracurriculars, but mostly ones he could just fuck about at.

Forced to play rugby, but they couldn't make him care.

Major, major stoner and totally got away with it. Felix Catton smoking a joint on the sports field? Teachers simply do not see it.

Tons of really stupid hijinks. Proper Jolly Hockey Sticks prank stuff. Buckets of water balanced on doors, itching powder, the works.

Summer Hols were for chasing girls. Sometimes he'd have a "girlfriend" for a while, which mostly means he got letters with cheeky photos. He did not share them, but some did get appropriated from time to time.

Absolutely went on a Gap Year around Europe and is very lucky he didn't get some sort of STI while he was shagging his way around the continent.

Venetia always tried to get with his mates and it was always so fucking annoying because uh, hello? Get your own friends Venetia we're trying to watch American Pie? Fuck off?

Oliver

Literally the most invisible kid in the school, on purpose. People don't even really remember him much.

Also did a bunch of extracurricular stuff, but for things like Helping In The Library and Science Club. A few of them he was the only member, because it meant he could avoid going home.

Always secretly wanted to be in the school plays but never went for it.

Got shoved around a bit by the fifa lads and the popular girls occasionally would ask him pointed questions and find the answer hilarious.

One of the fifa lads called him a bender in year 8 and somehow it became like... common knowledge that Oliver Quick Likes Dick. Nobody actually really was invested in it, but it rhymes and it obviously wound him up.

He was always Oliver. Never Ollie.

His sisters pretended they weren't related to him, although they were both nearing the end of secondary school when he started attending.

His eyesight isn't that bad, which is good when people keep stealing your glasses when you're in P.E. and hiding them.

Most of the teachers really liked him except for the P.E. Sports Lad Teachers and the one really grumpy Design Tech teacher.

Complete loner. No friends. No birthday parties. Lived through books and just wanted his own space.

babygirl how are you 30?

Uh i guess i was born then TIME PASSED?

what do you think oliver and felix’s favorite things would be, colors, movies etc

Colours

Felix can't pick

Oliver likes blue, probably because someone ages ago said it suited him and as such he kinda gravitates towards it.

Movies

Felix will say his favourite is whatever is coolest at the time, so y'know... Pulp Fiction or Scarface... but it's actually Homeward Bound.

Oliver doesn't have one, because it depends on the context. If people ask, he goes with Being John Malkovich, because it's interesting.

Music

Felix lives for trashy pop, kinda sleazy indie and pretty much anything that he can dance to.

Oliver likes older bands like The Smiths and The Cure, but wasn't really into music before Felix.

Food

Felix loves a horrible, greasy takeaway. He's spent so long on fancy food that he will power through a kebab like a hyena.

Oliver is a simple fella and is honestly just happiest with cheese on toast. Cheap bread, cheap cheese, done.

I can't think of any other categories 😅

in bed choking on my spit over breeding kink 🛐🛐 yesss knock him up felix if we try hard enough we can make it happen

Look it's gotta be inbuilt into him, gotta get those heirs

definitely projecting a lilll but your felix in yah gives me such neurodivergent energy (esp adhd). i relate so hard to him just spacing out, deep in thought lol

oh no you are NOT PROJECTING AT ALL!

CITING THE TEXT

His attention is defecit, his disorder? Hyperactive. His executives are dysfunctioning!