#legitimately its TRAGIC that i started wheezing SO BAD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 8 months

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Y'all I been doing Dazai route in eng for the collection event and I'm just.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE WRITING HERE. DAZAI AND MC ARE OFF THE CHARTS???? I FEEL LIKE I'M IN IKESEN RN HELP

I never want off this tragicomedy this is amazing. Just look at this shit:

There's so much going on here???? I'm in stitches?????

Dazai if you're going to roll with familial obligation PICK ONE ROLE, what is this madness!!!

MC full on out here UNIRONICALLY looking at Charles and going:

MC: I could make him worse twirling hair around her finger

What's even more uproarious to me is Dazai like "I must. Protect MC from his vile eboy clutches." And MC is straight up like "Dazai if you won't tap this then I will have my hot girl summer." Can you tell I love her so much for this I'm sobbing. Girl math queen of "I want what's bad for me"

Charles. Trying to whine his way into a hot night and Dazai's abrupt "Haha, no." Just imagining the delivery of that line straight up made me astral project, Dazai is feeling petty and I'm LIVING

"NotMyName-san." Do I even need to say it. MC dragging his ass and I'm wheeze--

Aight but that last screenshot. I swear to God that's where I lost my veritable shit. I think I've just gotten so used to Comte and Leonardo being so literal of like "oh yeah that f**ker can't keep his hands to himself, give me a second to get rid of him" that I just did not see Dazai's roast coming. And not only how iconic and subtle a jab that is, but the ENDLESS implications????????????

"He seems like someone who can't keep his hands out of the picnic basket." Dazai was COOKING. He said "boy's got no patience, he can't pace a relationship properly." [Note: Dazai can't pace a relationship at all, so uh, pot meet kettle--]. He said "man's going to get to third base on the first date and that is GAUCHE." I love this bit because of how much it gives him away. Dazai out here like "I'm just a silly silly goofy no thoughts guy! Hahaha!" And then the second Charles tries to drag MC around like a rag doll, Dazai comes out like "what is this. menace doing with a nice young woman. I say, young man, cease this horny shitfkery at once!" The man who sat in bed with MC naked after a month's worth of knowing her and does not explain (though in fairness he was trying to be helpful [?]). Can you tell I love him. Osamu "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" Dazai.

Dazai out here like "I just know he's going to ask too much of her, and that could have grievous implications when it comes to being a vampire." As much as it might be a throwaway line, I gotta say I see that amongst his concerns. And tbh I think he means it both in the sense of bloodlust but also in the sense that Charles is a bit wayward with his self-control (not entirely Charles' fault). Dazai out here like "I know this little shit ain't got an ounce of foresight, and I hate this for my best girl." No beef to Charles, but the man lives in the present (in some ways by circumstance) and I can see how he might not be able to have MC's best interests for the future in mind (he's got a lot of healing to do).

Man can you tell I just can't get over the way Dazai flamed him. It's giving:

Also for the record no shade to Charles as an LI, I just think it's hilarious how jealous Dazai is and how that makes him uncharacteristically choose so much violence khafjlsjkshgdfjh

I gotta say if there's one thing that gets my ass so bad when it comes to Comte and Dazai it's how they're so like. "Peace and love on planet earth~"

Charles/Vlad: hi

Comte and Dazai:

#legitimately its TRAGIC that i started wheezing SO BAD #i failed to screenshot that part where mc is like #'What a tangled web we weave…' when they both start hitting on her nonstop #THE POLYCULE IS IN SHAMBLES /j #listen idk who it was that did the localization for this rt #but i hope they know they're a fking real one damn #i feel like this is the first time in years ive read smth in the eng ver and gone 'who made this tea? delicious'#even funnier bc i rmr reading summaries of dazais rt abt how chaotic it was--its not like i wasnt even aware #but they really put their whole [redacted] into this one LMFAO #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp charles #ikevamp mc #ikevamp comte #ikevamp vlad #dazai main story route

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stopmeplease · 7 years

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If It’s Enough 1

Chapter 1 of part 2 of my series, crossed the stars. Part one is here.

Lance and Lotor grow closer while the Paladins struggle to get Shiro back.

AO3

Lance ignored the stilted dinner conversation, though Allura was trying to carry it with admirable grace. Shiro had been gone for weeks and they still hadn’t quite settled around the empty space he had left. Getting Pidge to stop researching and start eating was a trial and a half at any given moment, and Keith wasn’t much better. He’d been throwing himself into training with the ferocity of someone fighting to forget, while Hunk alternated between helping Pidge and baking enough to feed an army.

That did make it pretty easy to find food when someone skipped a meal, at least. Lance couldn’t say he’d been dealing with Shiro’s disappearance better than anyone else. He’d taken to holing up in his room and talking with his new friend. Lotor was the only person Lance knew that wasn’t tearing themselves up over the uncertainty of Shiro’s disappearance, which made him the only person Lance could comfortably confide in right now.

Even Allura and Coran, who were certainly handling Shiro’s disappearance best, were busy dealing with their own grief, on top of trying to keep the rest of the paladins from self-destructing. Saying they were stressed would be something of an understatement.

Lance picked at the rainbow of alien foods on his plate as Keith tried to be encouraging, again. When not raging against the gladiator, Keith had taken to dealing with Shiro being gone by giving shoddy knockoffs of Shiro’s teamwork speeches. It wasn’t the most irritating thing he’d ever done, but something about it just rubbed Lance the wrong way.

“Thanks for the grub, Hunk,” Lance interrupted, “but I think I’m gonna go enjoy some me time.” He stretched and gave an exaggerated smile. “Maybe spend some time looking out at the stars, who knows.” He casually brushed past a visibly distressed Keith and felt a flare of petty satisfaction.

He probably should have felt bad about it—deep, deep down he actually might—but getting Keith to shut up about “working together like Shiro would have wanted!” just felt so good. He would have blown up at Keith if he’d listened to that any longer, so really he was taking the high road here.

He strode into his room and reached for the Corredev hiding under a pile of his clothing. Really, Lotor was starting to become the high point of his day. He listened to it gently chime its ringtone with barely restrained anticipation.

“Lance!” Lotor cheered, always so delighted to hear from Lance. “What has been happening in your life today?”

Lance groaned and stretched out on his bed. “Well, Keith is being insufferable as usual, but—!” Lance dove to the side and rummaged under his bed to pull out a dull grey paste in a jar. “I found some aorean oil, so I can finally try out that hair treatment you recommended. I’m thinking I’ll use it later tonight, actually,”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Lotor said with a particularly self-satisfied expression, “I found something I think resembles your sweet granular plant extract. It does make an excellent exfoliant.”

“Sweet gran— Are you talking about sugar?” Lance demanded, leaning towards his Corredev with wide eyes. “Oh man, Hunk would just about cry if we could get sugar. Stress baking is a lot less stress relieving when you have to guesstimate with your basic ingredients.” If anyone on this ship deserved to get a nice gift right now, it was Hunk. Lance wouldn’t deny that helping Hunk bake more Earth-like foods would have some nice fringe benefits for him too, though.

“Yes,” said Lotor coolly, “I’m sure he would.” Lotor pulled a jar of yellowish sugar up and turned to stare at it speculatively. “Shame that this came from a planet deep within Galra territory. It's not given to outsiders, even very talented pilots.” He looked at the camera out of the corner of his gaze and gave a sly smile.

“Ah yes,” Lance sighed, falling back onto his bed as with one hand pressed delicately against his brow. “How tragic. If only I had a friend inside the Galra empire to help me, I would be able to enjoy delicious sweets.” Lance stared into the camera with a smile.

“Yes, if only.” Lotor admired his own Galra clothing with an idle nonchalance. Lance burst into laughter.

“Seriously though, do you know where I could get some?” Lance pulled himself up from his dramatic recline and leaned against the wall. Hopefully somewhere I can get to without having to explain why I really want to go. Lance was really not looking forward to explaining his new Galra friend to everyone else, especially not Allura and Coran.

Lotor laughed softly. “Not to worry, Lance. It will be a gift from me to you.”

“I mean, I appreciate that, but you can’t exactly mail it to me” Lance shrugged helplessly.

“You don’t have a permanent base?” Lotor frowned, gently resting his head on his hand.

“Ah, no,” Lance laughed sheepishly and took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to tell you eventually, but, uh, I kind of live on a castle ship. An Altean castle ship. I’m the blue paladin of Voltron.” Lance spread his hands and smiled as memories of destroyed Galra ships flashed behind his eyes. “Surprise?”

“Well,” Lotor huffed, pressing a hand in front of his mouth. “That… does explain some things.” Lotor stared at the screen with an inscrutable expression.

“Take your time,” Lance babbled. “I totally understand being startled to find out just how awesome I am. I mean, who wouldn’t be? A paladin of Voltron is a pretty big deal.”

Lotor huffed a laugh. “Well, if you’re being honest, I suppose I should come clean too.” Lotor settled back into his gigantic plush chair and sighed. “I am a prince of the Galra empire.”

Lance choked on air. “A prince?” he wheezed. “I thought— I mean I knew you were rich, but… a prince?” Lance paused in horrified bafflement. “Does that mean that Zarkon is your dad?”

“Well, that’s not the worst reaction I could have gotten,” Lotor said lightly. “And yes, Emperor Zarkon is my father.” He paused. “We weren’t… close. Ruling an empire is a time-consuming endeavor, even for one so practiced as my father.” He stroked the soft skin of his cheek absently. “I was hardly the ideal Galra soldier, which likely contributed to our distance.”

“That’s…” Lance trailed off. On the one hand, this was Zarkon they were talking about. On the other hand, this was Lotor’s father. Lotor laughed softly.

“Don’t worry yourself so, Lance. I know full well the kind of man my father was.” Lotor smiled into the camera. “I, like the rest of the universe, am better off without him.” There was an almost wicked edge to Lotor’s smile now. “I suppose I have you to thank for my father’s deposition, now.”

“You’re welcome,” Lance said with the bravado of someone completely out of his depth.

“I’ll have to send this sugar as a token of my gratitude to you,” Lotor said, jotting something down on a note and then affixing it to the lid of the sugar.

“How do you plan to get it to me?” Lance said, gratefully grabbing onto the change of topic.

Lotor hummed gleefully. “You’ll just have to wait and find out,” he purred.

Lance eyed Lotor skeptically. “How likely is it for this plan to include murder?”

“Lance,” Lotor gasped, “you know me!” Lance knew Lotor, sure, but he wasn’t sure that was the same thing as knowing Prince Lotor, Zarkon’s son.

“More importantly,” Lotor added upon seeing Lance’s expression, “I know you. I’m just sending it with one of my personal guard to the outer districts.” Lotor waved his hand dismissively. “No one will think it odd if I look out for Voltron, not after all my father put into stopping you and how that turned out.”

“Yeah, but my team will think it’s weird if a loyal Galra soldier gives me sugar,” Lance hissed.

“Please,” Lotor laughed, “give my men a bit more credit than that. He’ll be subtle, I promise.” Lotor paused with a slight wince. “To give you fair warning, he may in fact be too subtle. If a soldier with a purple collar on his armor seems like he’s trying to murder you, he’s just taking his mission to not seem suspicious a tad too seriously. He will not actually go so far as to kill you.”

“That’s… good?” Lance was definitely a big fan of people not murdering him. Not being murdered was in fact one of his favorite pastimes. The trying to murder him part was less promising.

“I’m sure that you’ll be able to handle him” Lotor purred. “You are the Blue Paladin, after all.”

“Right, of course I can!” said Lance with a neon bright smile stretched wide on his face.

“Excellent!” Lotor clapped his hands together and grinned. “Now that that’s settled—” Lotor was cut off by a loud beeping noise. “Oh, another assassin.” Lotor groaned and pushed out of his chair. “I’ve got to go deal with this, but I’ll be back soon,” he sighed.

“Wait, assassin?” Lance grabbed his Corredev tightly and leaned towards the screen. “Lotor—!” The screen went dark. Lance stared at his Corredev blankly.

“What the fuck,” Lance hissed at the screen. Lotor was being attacked by assassins. Lotor was Zarkon’s son. Assassins might have legitimate reasons to attack Lotor.

“What the fuck?” Lance asked his ceiling plaintively as he flopped back onto his bed. Zarkon had a son—and wow, there wasn’t enough brain bleach to deal with that thought—and that son was his friend.

The sins of the father weren’t the sins of the son, not to Lance, but still. Zarkon’s son. Zarkon’s son is sending me sugar via his personal guard. Lance couldn’t help but giggle about the absurdity of it all.

Lance let the last of his laughter fade as he stared up into grey expanse of his ceiling. So he definitely couldn’t tell everyone about Lotor now. He could definitely see that conversation going well. He could just stroll up to Allura and go ‘Hey Allura, you know that guy that killed your entire planet? The one we spent all that time fighting? Yeah, Zarkon, that’s the one. Well, I’m corre calling his son on a regular basis, so… thought you should know’ and then she’d strangle him and Hunk would weep over his corpse before giving him a badass space funeral.

He could, theoretically, just tell Hunk or Pidge about Lotor. Pidge certainly proved great at keeping secrets, and Hunk had been his co-conspirator in basically everything at the Garrison, but on the other hand, Zarkon’s son. Killing Zarkon was the reason Shiro was gone, so consorting with his son could be… Yeah, maybe he’d just keep this to himself a bit longer.

#lantor #lancelot #lance #lotor #prince lotor #voltron

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