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daydreaming-in-letters · 3 years

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Anam Cara

Part 2 - Indulging

08/08/2021

Pairing: Andy Barber x Cara (ofc)

Word Count: 3,665

Warnings: extramarital pining and flirting, talk of past heartbreak and infertility, alcohol consumption

Summary: Laurie and Jacob invite Cara over for dinner. After her last encounter with Andy, she is reluctant to accept the invitation.

A/N: I think I forgot to mention last time that this story is not entirely based on the TV series but also includes certain elements of the book. It is not apparent so far, but will eventually become important in later chapters.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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Cara found herself standing in front of the red door like she had on so many other days before. Fiddling with the strap of her backpack, she knocked, a little too quietly maybe, wondering if anybody had heard her at all.

The little almost incident had happened four days ago, last Thursday. Luckily she only came here every other day, alternating with Mrs Mandel, Jake’s other tutor. So she did have Friday, Saturday and Sunday to distance herself from what had happened - or almost happened - with Andy on the deck. At least she had tried to forget about it, tried to forget him, she really had, but she had failed miserably.

So on that beautiful mid-June morning she found herself on his doorstep again, feeling just like she had when she had left the property four days ago. Her heart was rushing in her chest like a racehorse on cocaine and she was breathing as if she had just run a marathon. Please don’t let him answer the door, please don’t let him answer, please don’t…

“Cara, hey, sorry I kept you waiting so long.” Thank God it was Laurie.

“Good morning.”

“Come in, come in. Jake will be down any second.”

Despite her cheery outside, Cara could see that Laurie was miserable. She had always thought that Laurie was the one who took it the hardest which seemed only natural since she was Jacob’s mom. When Cara had first come here, about four or five weeks ago, the strain had already been visible on her complexion, but ever since then the dark spots underneath her eyes hadn’t stopped growing and darkening, the fine lines around her eyes and on her forehead had become deeper and her back looked a bit stooped. Today was the first time Cara noticed that Laurie might have actually lost weight as well. She had always looked delicate and petite in those large woollen sweaters, but now, in this formerly tight skirt and the thin blouse she looked fragile and withered.

As if she had felt the other woman’s look on her back while they walked over into the kitchen, Laurie turned around. But instead of the usual apologetic look that she threw her so often as if she was afraid to bother her with her pure presence, she smiled at her widely.

“Andy told me what you talked about last Thursday.”

Cara’s heart sank immediately. This was impossible, no, even grotesque. Why would he tell his wife about that and even worse, why was she smiling about it?

“He told me what you said about Jacob and human dignity and…” her voice was shaky as if she was about to crack, but she pulled herself together last minute. “…and I just want to say that I am so thankful that we have someone like you in our lives in times like these.”

Cara wasn’t so sure whether she still would be if Andy had told her everything that had happened between them.

“Laurie, please, it’s what every decent person would say, it’s just the truth.”

Laurie shook her head, trying hard to fight her tears. “Believe me, it’s not. After everything I have experienced since…since that day, I can tell you one thing for sure: If you think it is what every decent person would do, then there are very few decent people out there.”

They fell silent for a while, none of them able to think of a way to carry on the conversation. Cara felt a little uncomfortable, but at least Andy didn’t seem to be around to add to her uneasiness. Finally, the sound of Jake’s feet shuffling down the stairs saved her from the awkward silence. He was obviously tired, still he seemed happy to see her.

“Oh, there you are, sweetheart,” Laurie chirped, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Hi Jacob.”

“Hi Cara.”

He didn’t call her by her last name, Cara had insisted on that. It made her feel so old although she was only a few years younger than his parents and she also thought it added an authority that wasn’t really needed between them.

“Are you feeling better today?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, a bit I guess. Sorry for last time.”

“No need to be sorry for anything.”

Cara smiled at him encouragingly and a weary smile flitted across his lips as an answer.

“Have you asked her, yet, Mom?”

“No I haven’t, honey. I thought you might like to do that yourself.”

He looked a bit lost, obviously uncomfortable in his skin right now, but he gave a small, tight-lipped nod before he turned to Cara again.

“Could you maybe come over for dinner on Saturday?”

“Jake!” Laurie scolded him, but it seemed that she also couldn’t help but smile about his clumsy invitation.

“Cara, we wanted to thank you for everything you’re doing for us and also we wanted to make it up to you that you came all the way here on Thursday for nothing. So we wanted to invite you to dinner here at our house on Saturday.”

“Oh,” was all she could say while the thoughts were rushing through her mind. Spending a whole evening with the family, particularly with Andy, might not be the best of ideas. Especially since the events of last Thursday, she had sworn herself to interact with him as little as possible and preferably when someone else was around. She really didn’t trust herself around that man. But on the other hand it would be very rude to refuse such an invitation. Knowing full well that they had no other social contacts anymore didn’t make it any easier. But worst of all, refusing their offer would be like saying out loud that everything she had said to Andy about Jake had been a lie. Which it was not, it really wasn’t.

“I would love to come, but you know that you don’t need to feel any obligation to do that for me, right? You owe me nothing.”

Laurie swallowed audibly. “Yes, we do. But that’s not the point. We talked about it, the three of us, and we all agreed that it would be nice to get to know you a bit better and most of all, we are all in desperate need of some human interaction.”

She smiled hopefully, a bit overwhelmed by her own honesty as it seemed. Laurie had laid her cards on the table, she had stripped herself bare off what little armour she had left and placed the sword in Cara’s hand. Now Cara had never been a cruel person, and so she did what every decent human being would have done: She placed the sword back in Laurie’s hand and accepted her invitation, knowing full well that it might lead to her own doom.

At first, Laurie had insisted that Andy would pick her up for dinner so that she didn’t have to take the train, but Cara had assured her that it was no trouble at all. And so she found herself on the Barber’s doorstep once more, braving herself for the night to come, before she knocked.

And this time she wasn’t so lucky. It was Andy who opened the door, smiling at her warmly, his dazzling blue eyes sparkling while he took her in. She hadn’t seen him all week and had been so sure that she would be able to suppress her feelings, that this was only a childish fling, but seeing him now almost made her turn on her heels and run before it was too late. Only that it already was. She just didn’t want to see it yet.

“Hi, Cara. Come on in. Dinner is almost ready, hopefully just like my wife, who has gone missing somewhere in the bathroom about an hour ago.”

She followed him inside, and he took her coat from her to hang it with the others. So far there was nothing suspicious about his behaviour. He didn’t sent her any longing looks or made any ambiguous comments, he didn’t even tell her she looked lovely in her carefully chosen, non-sexy outfit.

Cara on the other hand couldn’t help herself from checking him out while she followed him into the kitchen. He looked amazing in his black jeans, tight in all the right places, and his light-blue shirt, sleeves rolled up to the middle of his forearms. With a small gesture he bade her sit down at the counter, while he turned to the stove for a moment to check on the food. The whole house smelled heavenly and she couldn’t quite believe that he was responsible for that.

Setting down her purse on the bar stool next to her, the heavy clunk reminded her of the gift she had brought. The noise of the glass bottles hitting the white granite counter made him spin around and the soft smile he gave her when his eyes fell on the polite gift she brought made her very grateful that she was already sitting down.

“I didn’t know what was on the menu, so I brought white and red.”

“You didn’t have to, you know that, right?”

“Just like you didn’t have to invite me in the first place.”

“You know, you’ve got a fair point there.” His smile widened and Cara couldn’t help but smile along.

“So what’s on the menu today, chef de cuisine?” she teased him a bit, desperately trying to escape the tension that was still lingering between them, lurking in the corner like a ghost.

He chuckled. “Oriental Chicken.”

“Mh, sounds good.”

“Yeah, thank you. That’s exactly what I said when I suggested it, but Laurie wouldn’t shut up about how it was too particular and that maybe you wouldn’t like it.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not a picky eater.”

His face dropped a bit and she felt the urgent need to apologise. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I just…I don’t…”

He raised his hands in a calming manner.

“Hey, hey, relax, love, I didn’t take it as an offence. And even if it was, I’m one-hundred percent sure that you will love it.”

He had dropped the nickname a bit more casually than the last time, but she had heard it and it still echoed in her ears when she heard footsteps on the stairs.

“Oh Cara, you’re already here.” Laurie’s face lit up when she saw her guest sitting at the counter. “Andy, why didn’t you tell me?”

“She literally got here a second ago, Laurie. Anyway, would you have come down here any faster if I had told you?”

She blushed a bit. “Probably not, my hair wasn’t completely done, yet.”

“See, so it would have made no difference.”

Cara got up from her chair to give Laurie a hug. They had never been that friendly before, but somehow it just felt right.

“Don’t trouble yourself, Laurie. It was really only a minute or two that I had to endure your husband’s company.” Cara shot him a teasing look.

Andy scowled. “Hey, I’m literally standing right here.”

And just like that, Laurie finally relaxed and let out a faint chuckle.

The oriental chicken had been supreme and Andy had grinned like the Cheshire cat when Cara had complimented his cooking skills. After dinner they had settled down in the smaller living room and time seemed to fly as they got to talking. Some time ago, Jacob had excused himself and had gone upstairs to play some video games. Astonishingly the atmosphere was light and everything felt natural, as if nothing had ever happened. They had just come to the topic of university and Cara couldn’t stop swooning about the fact that the Barbers had both attended Yale.

“Where did you study?” Laurie turned the tables on her, eager to find out more about their guest.

“Oh, well, I’m afraid it wasn’t as prestigious as Yale.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. Tell us.” Andy took a sip from his wine glass to cover his challenging little smile.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t really the steady type at that time. I spent a lot of time in Europe, studying in various places, Dublin, Berlin, Stockholm, Prague and some others cities. I avoided Southern Europe though, I don’t do well in the heat.”

Laurie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow, that’s amazing. So you have seen quite a lot of the world already.”

“Well, Europe is hardly the whole world and I guess Andy’s chicken was more exotic than anything I have experienced so far.”

“Hey, don’t hate on the chicken.” he protested.

“I don‘t! I loved the chicken.”

They all shared a carefree laugh before Andy became serious again.

“Was there any particular reason why you chose Europe then, instead of some more exotic place?”

“Andy, that question is a bit personal, don’t you think.” Laurie shot him a disapproving look.

“No, it’s alright,” Cara ensured her. “Because there actually was. When I finished school, I somehow felt the need to find out who I am, you know, where I come from. At that time I thought heritage is what really makes you you. So I set out for Europe to explore my family’s roots. Of course that was just some stupid coming-of-age bullshit, which, I have to admit, I wouldn’t have found out if I hadn‘t taken that trip.”

Andy leaned forward in his armchair, his elbows resting on his thighs.

“So, you don’t think our heritage defines us in any way?”

Cara couldn’t help but feel the atmosphere in the room change dramatically. Laurie was nothing less attentive than her husband, both fixing their gazes on her, but while Andy was somehow looking for something in her expression, Laurie seemed to be a bit nervous about her answer.

“No, I don’t. I think our decisions and actions tell a lot more about ourselves than who our father, grandfather or great-grandfather were.”

Laurie gasped, her eyes immediately shooting over to Andy, whose face was for the first time this evening absolutely unreadable. Finally he leaned back in his armchair, still watching her intently, when he dropped his next question.

“So what made you come back home?”

How was it possible that he always asked exactly those questions that seemed to touch her core? For a second she averted her gaze, her fingers playing with each other in her lap. A heavy sigh escaped her lungs before she was ready to admit the ugly truth. Her eyes searched for his and she might just have imagined it in the faint light of the room, but he seemed a bit alarmed by her suddenly coy behaviour.

“Love.”

Laurie was the first to break the silence that had settled between them.

“Oh, a love story. How nice!” she exclaimed, a little too excited.

Andy didn’t seem to share her excitement and shot her a chastising look.

“I don’t know, Laurie. I have a feeling this story doesn’t have a happy ending.”

Cara thought about his statement for a moment. “I don’t know. I think that depends on the perspective really.”

For a moment she wasn’t sure whether she should maybe leave it with that. She didn’t really feel in the mood to talk about this episode in her life, but then Andy’s eyes found hers and she knew that it would be alright.

“I met Connor in Stockholm. It was a bit of a whirlwind romance. Looking back I think I fell for him far too easily. I didn’t really know anything about him, yet I was willing to go back for him and start a life together. We moved to New York - his decision really. He said it would be easier for him to find work there. Ultimately I was the one who found a job first, which riled him up a bit, I think. Maybe this already caused the first big crack in the walls of our little cloud-castle. Anyways, I worked as a translator for one of the big publishing companies, I liked my job. I didn’t like New York, though. After experiencing Europe, it all felt too big, too packed, too loud.” Cara sighed deeply, the memory weighing heavily on her mind. She knew that she couldn’t look at them while she told the ugly ending, especially not at Andy, and so she averted her gaze. “Finally we started talking about children and I felt that this was my chance to escape the city life and convict him to move to the suburbs, but in the end that didn’t really matter anymore because we found out that I cannot have children. Something called primary ovarian insufficiency, basically meaning that my ovaries are lazy fuckers and refuse to produce egg cells.”

Laurie, who had just attempted to take a sip of wine, snorted involuntarily from the harsh choice of words causing Andy to roll his eyes at her before he focused back on Cara.

“And then he left you, right?”

Cara nodded. “Kicked me out like a stray dog.”

“Asshole,” Andy muttered.

“I guess he just never really loved me or at least he loved himself more. Better to find out sooner than later, even if it was the hard way.”

She looked from Laurie to Andy and the look he sent her made her want to cuddle up in his lap, wrapped safely in his warm embrace and be held by him until the pain would fade.

“And then you moved to Boston?” Laurie’s voice startled her for a second although she was nothing but warm and kind, probably wanting to pull her back from her painful memory. Little did she know that Cara had been fantasising about her husband’s soothing arms and she felt awful for her immoral thoughts.

“Yes, then I came here, moved next to Mrs Mandel, who finally asked me if I was interested in the job here with you and here I am.” Even to herself her cheerfulness sounded horribly phony.

“Well, it’s not really a job, Cara, since we don’t pay you,” Andy said, a joking smile on his lips and his comment finally did the trick and lightened the mood.

“That’s true, but you pay Mrs Mandel and she needs the money more than I do.”

It was true. Cara had refused to split the money with her. Partly because Mrs Mandel needed it and partly because she had been here first and she had asked Cara for help with some of the subjects she didn’t really know much about, like Philosophy or Spanish. But instead of tutoring the tutor, it had been easier to teach Jake herself and since Cara worked from home and could distribute her time freely, this had simply been the logical thing to do.

They had easily chatted the evening away and Cara felt that it must have almost been time to catch the last train. Shooting a look at her phone, her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open in complete shock.

“Shit!”

“What? What is it? Bad news?” Andy was alarmed immediately.

Cara jumped up out of the armchair, heading for the door.

“My train. It leaves in five minutes.”

Laurie and Andy hurried after her.

“Why don’t you just take the next one? You’re never gonna make it in five minutes anyway,” Laurie tried to reason with her while Andy grabbed her coat from the coatrack.

“I’m afraid the next train is not leaving until tomorrow morning.”

“Well, maybe Andy can drive you then?” Laurie looked at her husband with hopeful eyes.

“I really don’t think I should. I drank three glasses of wine. I mean, I certainly feel like I’m perfectly capable of driving, but do you have any idea what will happen if the cops pull me over? What that might mean for Jacob and the trial as well?”

Laurie’s hope fell instantly.

“You shouldn’t have drunk that much, Andy,” she snapped, directing her frustration towards him now.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? You had a fair share of the bottle yourself, Laurie.”

Andy was certainly pissed by her needless attack, glaring at her.

“Hey, guys, please don’t fight. It’s really my fault. I didn’t check the time. I can just take a taxi, no big deal.”

“Cara, come on, don’t be ridiculous. Do you have any idea how much that costs?” Andy had crossed his arms in front of his chest and was glaring at Cara now. She was glaring back, her eyes challenging him to come up with a better idea. But finally it was Laurie who produced the only realistic alternative.

“Why don’t you just stay overnight? We have a guest room upstairs.”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly accept that offer. I don’t want to intrude on you.”

Andy snorted and Laurie shot him an angry look.

“You wouldn’t, Cara, really. Come on, there really is no other reasonable solution.”

Laurie looked at her almost pleadingly, appealing to her reason, while she couldn’t quite place Andy‘s expression. Did he also want her to stay or was he as unsure about this whole thing as she was?

Deciding that she had waited long enough, Laurie pulled Cara away from the door and ushered her towards the stairs. “Come, I show you up to your room while Andy can do the dishes.”

Finally Andy seemed to snap out of his astounded trance. “What? Why? I already cooked and you know how much I hate doing the dishes.”

“Oh stop whining, Andy. For once in your life, just do as you’re told.”

Cara shot him an apologetic look over her shoulder, while Laurie kept on guiding her up the stairs and towards the guest room. Cara couldn’t help but wonder how everything had taken such an unfortunate turn and why the hell she could stay so calm while she practically walked into purgatory with arms wide open.

Part 3

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mp3lyricsstuff · 4 years

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Ignore the Haters, Enjoy the Music and Dancing

Director Tom Hooper has lumps of coal filling his Christmas stocking. His function adaptation of Cats, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit Broadway musical, has been handled like a misplaced stray. The movie has unfairly obtained withering criticism. The poor feline ensemble sits at a paltry 17% on the mixture web site Rotten Tomatoes. Negativity in the direction of the movie grew after an admittedly dangerous trailer. The pile-on leading to a dismal opening field workplace of $6.2M. I am right here to defend Cats. Ignore the barrage of haters. Cats shouldn’t be litter field materials. If you happen to prefer the musical, you’ll just like the movie. If you happen to admire unbelievable choreography, traditional songs like “Reminiscence”, and kooky performances from an all-star forged, Cats is a pleasing Vacation deal with.

Cats have an easy narrative. The plot is predicated on a 1939 guide of poetry by T.S Elliot, “Outdated Possum’s Guide of Sensible Cats.” A frightened Kitten, Victoria, performed splendidly by prima ballerina Francesca Hayward, is dumped in a London alley. She’s rapidly surrounded by a gang of avenue cats referred to as the “Jellicles.” They sing “Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats” to introduce themselves. They embody Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots (Insurgent Wilson), the thieving Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, the chubby Bustopher Jones (James Corden), and type hearted, magical Mr. Mistoffelees (Laurie Davidson); who takes a liking to the terrified newcomer.

Victoria has come to the Jellicles on an auspicious day. Outdated Deuteronomy (Judi Dench), their sensible matriarch, is internet hosting the annual Jellicle Ball. Every cat tries to win her favor and be chosen to enter the Heaviside Layer, the place an avenue cat’s life will start anew. The Jellicles are continually attacked by the magical, however devious Macavity (Idris Elba). His followers, the imply Growltiger (Ray Winstone) and fetching Bombalurina (Taylor Swift), wish to guarantee Macavity’s ascension. However as all of the cats sing and dance for Outdated Deuteronomy, Victoria notices the unhappy and downtrodden Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson). Taken by her tragic “Reminiscence”, Victoria believes Grizabella is probably the most deserving cat.

Cat’s distinctive manufacturing design and costumes have been pandered. I agree they seem to be a bit odd, however actually grows on you because the movie progresses. You want prepared suspension of disbelief to look at a reside motion film about singing cats. The actors’ costumes and make-up results are enhanced by CGI. They appear like cats with frisky ears and tails. They’re additionally cat-sized. This implies the units are enormous. They sing and dance underneath towering trash cans, tables, and so forth.

Cats is a musical fantasy and ought to be accepted as such. The filmmakers have succumbed to criticism of the visible results. In an unparalleled transfer, Tom Hooper is sending a brand new edit with enhanced results to theaters for Christmas Day. I noticed Cats weeks in the past at a press screening. The minimize I noticed was nice, and appreciated by the viewers. My word to Tom Hooper, there isn’t any want to repair the CGI. Complainers take advantage of noise. By acknowledging them, you empower the grievance machine.

Cats is wall to wall singing and dancing. Usually, that is not one thing I discover fascinating, however I liked the Cats Broadway musical as a child. Every little thing that I discovered entrancing as a toddler is represented on display. Andy Blankenbuehler, who additionally choreographed the stage revival of Cats, does wonderful work. Francesca Hayward, in her first movie function, is a beautiful dancer. She’s been singled out for her “one-note” efficiency. I disagree, she performs Victoria as meek. The entire level of Cats is her journey to acceptance by the Jellicles. Jennifer Hudson completely nails the showstopper climax of “Reminiscence.” Taylor Swift, an artist I actually do not know, captures the saucy Bombalurina. The ensemble forged efficiently recreates the magic of Cats.

Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech) wanted higher transitions between the musical numbers. This main flaw is what I consider results in the mountain of hate heaped on the movie. There’s little or no narrative move. The Broadway present is a spectacle. Hooper embraces that philosophy. He goes full drive on the tune and dance. Hooper may have shaved off lesser numbers, a number of Jellicle characters, or added a story voice over. It could have made the movie much less jarring from scene to scene.

I used to be stunned by the extent of nastiness and vitriol in the direction of Cats. Critics sharpened their claws once they noticed others on the assault. It is all overblown. Cats have their flaws, however, shouldn’t be horrible. It is a lot better than the so-referred to as rotten score signifies, which by no means permits for nuance in critiques. Cats is a worthy musical. I’ll reiterate, should you prefer the musical, you’ll just like the film. Cats is a manufacturing of Working Title Movies and Amblin Leisure with distribution by Common.

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