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Kellam x Kiran Commission (I got sick and had a really rough end of year... here's hoping 2024 is a normal one! the flu killed me the last week of 2023 :") but here's my last commission! my resolution is to post more consistently from here on out LOL)

You were all thrilled at the thought of the Hallow’s Eve festival. It was a perfect break for everyone to experience between all the battles that Askr had to face.

That, and it provided an excellent opportunity for those who didn’t celebrate a similar holiday in their own worlds to have a new experience.

Kellam was one of these people; and he seemed to be particularly interested in the customs. It wasn’t all that different from the holiday you celebrated in your own world.

But seeing him so excited about it was the true joy.

“Wow…all these sweets and decorations- it’s all so colorful!” Kellam marveled at the beauty in front of you, utterly stunned by it all. The town was alight with the raucous fun of the town-wide party.

It was filled to the brim with adults and children alike, families boisterous while they danced and played about the festival.

You smiled softly at Kellam, “I must say, you do make a dashing pumpkin.”

“A pumpkin farmer, actually-” Kellam corrected you as he adjusted the large orange headpiece. “It wasn’t my first idea, but once we got to work on the costume, I couldn’t say no. It’s a little silly though, isn’t it?”

“I don’t mind it. It’s very charming.” You reassured him, making him chuckle bashfully.

“Really? You wouldn’t like it better if I were dressed as something fearsome, like a werewolf or a dragon?”

“It just wouldn’t suit you. I’m sure you’d be very handsome in either, but…I like this. Pumpkin Kellam is dashing all on his own.”

“You flatter me.” Kellam blushed, laughing nervously in a bid to hide the quickening of his heartbeat. “B-but enough about me! We should really enjoy this festival while we have a chance. I’ve never seen anything like it before!”

“Ylisse doesn’t have a Hallow’s Eve festival, does it?” You remembered the conversation from earlier, Chrom and Lissa chattering excitedly about being able to experience a whole new holiday (with said princess plotting out her “tricks” for said portion of the colloquial saying).

Kellam nodded as the two of you headed into town, starting your adventure. “No, I’m afraid not. We have a few holidays that are similar to ones that are held here in Askr, but there isn’t one that’s particularly similar to this one. I’m really excited about trying it out. What about you?”

“We do have one; though we call it Halloween. Similar theme, but rather than one big festival, we all go out into our local neighborhoods and give out candy to each other- it’s very popular with children. The adults who don’t have kids to take out treating will just have a big party or watch a bunch of scary movies, or-”

“Movies? What are those?”

“Think those photograph tomes that one Anna sells at the ocean, but it’s constantly moving for an hour straight; with talking and music and whatnot.”

“How interesting!”

“It really is. I wish I could show you,” You admitted, “They’re really fun to watch when it’s in a group or just with a friend or two. I’m sure there are plenty of movies you’d enjoy.”

“Don’t worry about that-” Kellam reassured you, “I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we’re doing, Kiran. I don’t mind missing out on a, er, scary ‘moving’ when we can do other things together!”

“Movie, Kellam- no ‘ing’ at the end.” You laughed, fighting to suppress your own blush at his earnest confession. “I’m sure we’ll have our hands full with this festival, anyways. Look at the size of it…”

You both slowed as you reached the town’s front gates, which had been clogged with people as they all struggled to enter and enjoy the celebration.

The noise was audible even from the back of the crowd, where the two of you were. It made your stomach twist, if only for a moment. You were quite sensitive to auditory and visual overloads, particularly when you were already nervous or on edge.

It was something you could fight through during battle, with the appropriate gear to help ease the tensions courtesy of Anna’s gadgets or some useful spells.

But when it was just the two of you, in a casual setting and no battle gear to be had…it was easier to get overwhelmed.

Well, that, and you had a very handsome, well built knight standing next to you, confessing how much he enjoyed being around you.

It was certainly a nerve-wracking experience, indeed; not one that you wanted to dampen his spirits with by leaving early or lashing out at him because of the stress.

You sucked in a deep breath, the two of you closing in on the entrance one step at a time. It wouldn’t be that bad; it would be loads of fun.

You’d get to play games, eat good food, dance and enjoy music; maybe even win a prize for Kellam. That’s what you turned your focus to; something you could definitely do. That you wanted to do for the sweet pumpkin man.

Naturally, just as you thought this, you felt a calloused hand close around yours, prompting a jolt and confused stare at Kellam.

“It’s getting pretty thick at the gate; I don’t want to lose you in the crowd. If you don’t mind, that is.” He explained quickly, and you shook your head.

“I don’t mind at all.” You replied with a geuine smile, giving his hand a soft squeeze. It was certainly the right call; considering within moments, you were thrust into an intimimdating crowd, being pushed and pulled in various directions while being jostled further into the city.

His grip tightened on your hand, trying to keep you close to his body for fear of losing you among the strangers.

The excited babbling of passersby sent a shiver down your spine, and a jolt of anxiety up your throat.

With a deep breath you focused on the feel of his hand, his warmth a welcome comfort in spite of the nerves gathering in your chest.

Kellam, in all of his sweetness, did not notice what was happening; but he could feel that you were squeezing his hand a little tighter than he would have anticipated.

He cast a glance at you between trying to navigate the crowd and getting through the entrance.

“Kiran, you all right?” He asked you quietly, which drew you from your nerves just slightly.

“Yes.” You swallowed, fighting to press those feelings down. “I just…don’t like the tight space. It’s a bit overwhelming, right?”

“You’re not wrong,” He agreed warmly, “But, we’re almost there! Look, the crowd’s already thinning right up ahead.”

“Finally.” You muttered, though the relief was countered only with the realization you would no longer be able to hold Kellam’s hand without reason. But the pain and stress of the boisterous crowd finally relinquished your anxiety, as people filtered through the damn gate and spread out to all the various stalls.

Once you were able to see something other than the costumes in front of you, you were both surprised by the beauty surrounding you.

Bright lights, autumnal colors that were saturated and cheerful, and the scents of sweets and savory meats filled the air.

It was hard to spot a single person who wasn’t wearing some sort of costume; even the knights stationed and on duty had some sort of little decoration on their helmets or chestplates.

You and Kellam were fighting to keep your smiles from widening; it was such a delightful scene in front of you!

“Wow, I don’t even know where to start. Look at all this!” He remarked, spotting a stack of flyers that were loaded with all sorts of pertinent information to the party.

He led you off to the side, out of the way of foot traffic. You looked over his shoulder, finding the loads of information almost equally overwhelming.

“Oh my god, look at all this- dances, games, contests…acrobatic shows and musical performances? And this is gonna go on until dawn!”

“These people definitely don’t mess around with their Hallow’s Eve partying, do they?” He turned the parchment over, finding a meticulous map outlining the location of just about anywhere you could go to have fun. “Well, I’m happy doing just about anything- what do you want to try first? Should we eat, or maybe play a few games?”

The thought of eating did make your stomach turn just slightly, reminding you that the anxiety wouldn’t go away just because you were entertained. It would only be a matter of time before the stimulation of your surroundings spilled over into some sort of attack.

If you could at least keep it tamped down for a couple of hours…

“U-um, I’m not particularly hungry right now. Why not try out a few games? I believe you owe me some prizes if you’re successful.”

“Of course. I’ll win you the best and biggest prizes I can manage- but don’t get upset if I can’t get anything good. I hear that festival games have a nasty habit of being rigged.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out,” You grinned, and you immediately headed off for something that you knew would be perfect for Kellam, given his deceeptively physique.

It was harder to hide his massive body in his costume, but given his lack of presence in the space, it was easy for people to dismiss him.

That would be the case, at least, until you requested a ticket to play the hammer game.

“So all you have to do is swing this hammer as hard as you possibly can…and if you hit the bell, you win the grand prize!” You explained to him excitedly, lugging the mallet from the staff member’s hands and hauling it to him. “Oof, this thing weighs about as much as you do.”

“I guess this isn’t a game meant for you to play, huh?” Kellam chuckled, gladly relieving you of the thing. He gripped it in one hand, managing it without issue. You were in awe of him; how one man could possibly be so strong was fantastical.

He weighed it back and forth, looking up at the contraption that he was about to absolutely obliterate.

“Try not to hit it too hard, Kellam.”

“No promises,” He grinned, “Not if you want that prize!”

It was as if he was deliberately trying to make you swoon. You couldn’t linger on the sweet words of the knight, for the mallet struck the base with a mighty crack, shooting the little piece so hard into the bell that said metal bit broke in two.

The passersby gasped, stunned by the sudden explosion of power that shattered the game.

“Kellam!!” You bit your cheek to keep from laughing, the poor man running the game pale from the shock of what just happened.

“Ahh…sorry, I didn’t mean to hit it that hard- guess I was just focused.” He chuckled nervously, handing the mallet back to the man. “So, Kiran, which prize do you want?”

“That one please, sir.” You pointed to the largest possible stuffed toy you could find; a fine prize that couldn’t have been handed over faster (for fear of the mallet coming down on his head, instead).

“What should we play next, then?” Kellam asked, “I don’t think we can come back to that one.”

The two of you were a fit of giggles, hurrying away to find something else to do.

And it didn’t take long. The hours of the night ticked by, the two of you filling it with apple bobbing (two for you, a stem for him), dart throwing, and tasting a number of pastries, sweets and hot, savory street foods that filled your bellies.

Perhaps this wasn’t so bad. Your nerves weren’t too high, and throughout the night you’d been able to avoid scarier or louder noises that might trigger an anxiety attack. The crowd thinning out from the front gates had been a gods-send, too.

There were plenty of people, and it was still pretty snug, but it could’ve been much, much worse. The noise was manageable, provided that you focused on Kellam. He could keep you calm. You were safe with him, after all.

Nothing bad could possibly-

Crash!!

You nearly jumped out of your skin when the sound of glass shattering hit right beside you. It was followed by laughter, but your heart was already thundering.

“What the hells-?!”

You were clinging to Kellam’s arm, looking for the source of it. Another game, shooting rocks at glass bottles.

“Oh, that one looks fun. Looks like someone figured out a trick,” Kellam was amused, trying to ignore you were wrapped around his bicep for fear of his whole body turning red.

“You can’t use magic to win this! You’re disqualified-” The game runner snapped at the player. What worried you was that the more he spoke, the harder it was to hear him.

The world was starting to get waterlogged in your ears, your heart pounding and your fingers trembling. You were on edge, before. But that shock was sending you careening into a panic attack.

“Kiran, want to try it? I won’t cheat, I promise.” Kellam offered, looking down at you when realizing you were unmoving.

In fact, you were frozen in place…and the prize he’d already won you was on the ground.

“Kiran?”

He realized you were breathing hard. Too hard. Your face was so pale-

“Um, let’s get out of the middle of the road, here-” Kellam stooped to grab the plush and hurried out of the way, taking you into a small alley off to the side.

He gently pulled you from his arm, his hands on your shoulders. He was concerned, clearly, and it made you feel worse. Or it would, had you been able to register what was going on outside of the panic bubbling in your heart.

Truly, all you wanted was to get out of there.

This was almost worse- enclosed space, panicking in front of your crush, and a boisterous crowd of strangers just outside…it was a nightmare.

“Kiran, what’s wrong? Can you talk to me?”

“I’m- um-” You stumbled over yourself, feeling the blood drain from your faec. “The sound startled me. I-I don’t think I’m-”

“You’re not startled. You’re…you’re panicking.” Kellam realized, leaning down so that he was at eye level. “You’re safe, Kiran. I promise. I’m here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I-I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You looked away from him, your hands pressed to your forehead. You were trying to take deep breaths, but they were pulled from your chest, only making the tightness and pain blossoming feel worse and worse.

“Just slow down for a moment. We can get through this.” Kellam insisted as he took your hands into his, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Um…here. Just…just breathe with me.”

You looked up at him, somewhat surprised that his suggestion was actually one that was quite helpful with anxiety attacks.

“Trust me. I’m here for you.” He promised you, nodding to encourage you to try. You weren’t sure that you could focus beyond the fight or flight instinct that was practically screaming at you to get out of there.

Get away from all of this.

But it was the warmth in his eyes…the patient, encouraging smile on his lips. So you took a breath. Then another. Another, this one shaking, but deeper than the last. Kellam didn’t let go of your hands for a moment, a soft demand for your focus on him.

“You’re doing great, Kiran. Just keep breathing. In, and out. You’re all right. You’re safe here, and you’re with me. I’m not going to let anything happen.”

The beat of your heart started to soften, the thundering becoming much more of a softer roar rather than an unconquearable crash against your rib cage.

You managed to meet Kellam’s eyes, nervous, but starting to regain your focus.

Another shatter split the air, followed by raucous cheering. Your hands jumped in his, but he didn’t falter.

“It’s all right. It’s just someone playing that game, again.” He assured you once again, reminding you how sweet this man was in front of you. “Just focus on me.”

And so you did. You focused on his kind face, the warmth of his touch, his steady, slow breaths that you matched to his.

Slowly…finally…your heart rate managed to come down. You squeezed Kellam’s hands, once, then twice.

“I’m okay.” You managed to eek out some sort of comment, after you regained your breath. His gaze remained warm and comforting, but you could see he was still uncertain.

“Are you sure? We can stay here a while longer, if you’d like to.” He offered, “I don’t want to push you more than you’re able.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay.” You reassured him, nodding again. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to avoid looking at him. The embarrassment of what just happened was starting to sink in; to think he of all people would be the one to witness your upset!

“What do you want to do, Kiran? We can stay a little longer if you’d like, but I’m just as happy going home. We’ve had plenty of fun, but it doesn’t look like the party willl slow down any time soon. It’s probably going to stay hectic and crowded.”

“I-I don’t want to leave if you’r ehaving fun. I know it’s just a crowd, and I know it’s just games. I can handle a little more.”

“Hey.” Kellam’s hands were suddenly in yours again, sending a shock of elextricity through your fingertips.

“Kiran…please don’t push yourself on my account. What matters is what you want- no, what you need to do right now, so you’re calm and you feel safe, again.”

You pursed your lips, looking back to the jovial crowd just beyond the uneasy quiet of the alleyway.

“I don’t want to stop spending time with you.”

The admission was quiet, almost barely there. But Kellam heard you, loud and clear. And if his heart hadn’t skipped a beat before, it most certainly did in that moment.

“Well…you don’t have to stop spending time with me just because we don’t stay here. Why don’t we find somewhere just a little quieter first, and gather our bearings? Maybe there’s somewhere close by so that we can at least rest a little while before we head back home. I’d hate to push you harder before you’ve fully gathered your bearings.”

The young knight’s thoughtfulness was borderline shocking, how boundless it seemed to be. He offered you his arm, in hopes of keeping you grounded and steady when you ventured back out into the raucous festival.

Mercifully, the town’s archives weren’t far; a small, library-esque location that was plenty quiet compared to the goings on outside.

Kellam closed the doors quickly, giving you both a safer respite. It was finally clearer to you now, what had happened and where you were.

What he did for you.

“Kellam…how did you know to do that?”

“What do you mean?” He asked innocently as ever, and you looked down at your hands, fidgeting.

“How did you know…to calm me down?”

“Well, it’s not the first time I’ve seen a panic attack.” He said simply, “It’s a common sight, especially among new recruits. We’re trained pretty early on about how to handle the stress as it comes, and how to address and alleviate panic attacks. I’ve done it for plenty of other people, myself included. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m…I’m not ashamed of it.” You said in spite of the blush rising on your cheeks. “I just wish you weren’t the one to see it. It’s not my best moment.”

“It’s all right- you’ve seen me at my worst more than once. I’d never judge you for something like that.”

“Even though it cut into your festival time? Wearing that handsome costume?”

Kellam laughed, his cheeks as red as the apples he’d failed to bob for. “Trust me, there’ll be plenty of opportunities in the future for us to enjoy a festival like this. It comes around every year, and sometimes more than once, depending on the realm we’re in.”

“B-but I…”

“It’s okay if you want to go back. We can get a nice cup of tea and sit at the campfire together. Besides, there’s going to be fireworks in an hour, if I recall. I’m not sure you want to be up close for all that noise…and all those people.”

You smiled sheepishly, conceding defeat. “I don’t know if that would end well at all.”

“Then we return home.” He decided simply, “Honestly, Kiran. It’s okay. What matters most to me is that you feel safe, and that you’re calm. I would hate to keep you here knowing you were on edge the entire time.”

“I…I’m glad, but…why?” You asked him in earnest, drawing your coat a little tighter around yourself. Kellam hesitated for a moment, considering his answer carefully.

“Because…you’re important to me. Nothing matters more to me than making sure you’re all right. Probably…more than anybody else.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your hands, your heart thundering for an entirely new reason. “W-well, I feel the same about you.”

“You do?”

He sounded so hopeful. You nodded, stealing a peek at him. “I do.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that, I…wow, Kiran, I…” He found himself at a loss for words, laughing nervously in spite of himself.

To see a mighty, massive creature like Kellam alight with bashfulness made your whole body warm. What a sweet knight he was.

“Come on, let’s get back to camp. We should celebrate with that campfire and tea, don’t you think?”

“I really do.” You grinned, your legs still a little shaky from the receding adrenaline, but if not also for the hint of excitement that lingered for a whole new reason.

Kellam offered you his hand to take, this time; much warmer and softer than his arm.

He led the two of you from the festivities, taking care to avoid the more boisterous and raucousareas on the way back to the gate.

And of course, once you were safe in the warmth and quiet of the fire, you found it much more delightful and preferable even to the festivities.

There were few things sweeter than sitting together, alone and basking in the glow of a new, autumn love.

#kellam #kiran #kellam x kiran #feh #fe heroes #fire emblem heroes #fe 13 #fea #fe awakening #fire emblem awakening #f!kiran #fem!kiran #commission #story commission #anxiety prompt #fluff #hurt and comfort #happy new year!

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