#just. consdering how my dad never went to therapy or healed from what he went though he's miraculously patient and gentle
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i do love my dad and he's grown a lot as a person, but i do wish he'd go to therapy for his own sake. it affects him in so many ways that he doesn't even realize
#like you know how colonial american puritanism infected this country with Productivity and the Need To Be Productive#my dad HAS to do stuff on his days off and its wearing him down but he still makes himself work#and in a way i get it--construction and building is his artistic passion#its like how there are days where i really need to rest my hand due to muscle strain#but i draw anyways because drawing is my favorite thing in the world#so i do understand it#but he's aging and he's going to wear himself out#'a body at rest stays at rest and i'll rest on the conveyor belt into the crematorium'#dad if you die before im 50 im kicking your ass#mickey.txt#and that's not getting into the healing from how he was raised because good fucking lord#like he's so proud of how 'i deserved every beating i got from my dad' which is. a lot#but then i remember the story he told me of when he was 5 or 6#he was kneeling at a dining chair and using it as a fort to play with his action figures#and his father beat him with a belt for it#he always seems to forget that one when bragging about how well he was beat#and my dad was considered spoiled by his siblings!#my aunt caroline was beaten so badly once she was taken by child protective services!#and that was in the 60s!!!#just. consdering how my dad never went to therapy or healed from what he went though he's miraculously patient and gentle#and im grateful for that#but good lord. does he still need to heal#abuse tw#child abuse tw
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