#just overly tagging at this point
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I finished wild arms yesterday! what a great game
#wild arms#wild arms 1#cecilia adlehyde#jack van burace#rudy roughnight#earth golem#art tag#i really really loved this one im so glad i finished it#its really fun and not overly long for a jrpg (about 30 hours)#also gets my seal of approval in that despite what all promotional material would have you believe cecilia is the main character#like its not even a question she just is. compounded by the fact that if you want to you can play as her the whole time#my biggest criticism would prob be that by the end of the game the party feels kind of unbalanced especially in boss fights#cecilia can do so much shit and the boys basically just do different kinds of big damage lol#cecilia can also do big damage but shes too busy healing and buffing and debuffing and all that#its not all that hard though so its not a huge deal just kind of funny#anyway i definitely want to play the rest of the series at some point. apparently theres an anime too?? exciting
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^ stick, and without the stick v
#honkai star rail#the henry stickmin collection#thsc#to quote my partner: “ok since we’re entertaining the brain worms. the henrail starmin collection”#okay tag time#dan heng#march 7th#stelle#caelus#and the…now non sticks#henry stickmin#ellie rose#charles calvin#before anyone asks. yeah the de-sticked designs are literally just them but if they were part of HSR/the honkaiverse in general#meaning overly complicated (sometimes pretty and nonsensical) designs that make drawing them hell :D#ellie's hair having ely vibes wasnt by accident btw i thought it would be funny#i am never lining in this style w/o a sketch ever agaib. (the style for the non sticks#this was originally gonna feature toppat eden but ummmmmmmmmmmmmm i got carried awayyyy haha..#toppat fcs soon. along with full versions of the tt version of the three here soon.#or at some point because unfortunately i just dont have much time as i did before... :(#started to add IDs to my new stuff if the descriptors seem awkward its bc i havent had to do this in years so. i will Try My Best though#(unfortunately i have incredible difficulty w/ clothing names.)
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For @sansebastinae and @boisinnot, my fellow saint seb truthers :)
+ the usual
Yayyyy finished a drawing! Haha only took me...2 weeks. I kept going back and forth on whether I could finish it tonight, and I really wasn't going to. But then I looked at the unfinished version on a different screen and was like oh? Not too bad actually?? So I finished it :) First of all, ofc, here is the process. Kinda weird seeing it for smth like this, it makes me feel like I'm the painter in rennaisance au, not Mark dhjfkf
Ah I was gonna draw a silly renaissance au comic to accompany this(read: lighten the mood), but it's 5 am and I've still not really drafted it well, so! I'd like to finish it at some point bcs I wanna draw more chibi comics, but when I finish smth, I can't help but immediately want to post it, so part 2 will have to wait. I'll show you the outline though so you can at least imagine 😭
^ So many renaissance and beyond paintings of Saint Sebastian are always the most horny thing ever. Like pre/early rennaisance, yeah he was naked and all that, but they were pretty chaste, and uhhhhh suffering?? Well the newer paintings are suffering, but in a different way, if you know what I mean.
So I feel like Mark's the type to be overly pedantic about it, and refuses to make borderline porn of a saint, I mean, god forbid, Seb!!! But then he just. Does anyways. Because he can't control his lust for Seb even when drawing him half dead. I just imagine him holding the paintbrush in a death grip like "must not be horny. Must not draw him sexy. Must make him chaste." And then he ends up with the one seen above. Seb is all smug about it. "Wow you'd wanna fuck me even while I'm all bloody and dying? 🥺"
Mark: "oh I'll make you bloody, alright."
But god so funny to imagine Seb doing all these different slutty poses, like arching his back as much as possible, the cloth nearly falling off at all times, etc etc. And Mark finally lands on this pose bcs he hopes the suffering will outweigh the horny. It doesn't. Also Seb is genuinely serious once he actually gets into the pose, focus mode on. And honestly that's even worse for Mark, bcs it's so much more arousing to see Seb in his element, focused. Tbf I think Seb could be drinking water, and Mark would still find some way to sexualize it. Don't look at his sketches!! They're just filled with Seb doing all kinds of random activities.
Also! Here is the painting I referenced this off of, must give credit where credit is due ofc
The Dying St. Sebastian by François Fabre
Also this isn't really relevant in the context of this drawing specifically. But I looked thru a bunch of Saint Sebastian paintings while trying to find one I could reference, and I came across this middle ages one that actually looks so much like boy king seb 😭 I guess it really is meant to be!
St Sebastian between St Roch and St Peter by Pietro Perugino
Lmao but do you see the difference between early rennaisance and later work???
#i cannot control myself anymore i must draw dark things :)#past 3/4 drawings have had blood i think 😭😭 old habits returning#BUT THIS SAINTLY OKAY ITS HOLY ITS FINE#also 005. when i said id draw you a saint seb seb i meant it!!!#<- tho mostly you changed your username when i was already drawing saint seb 😭#but i was gonna dedicate it to you anyways :) so funny coincidence#i wasnt gonna put any lore in the read more cause i didnt think i had any#and then i did. as always.#if is say i have nothing to write just give me a min and i will sjdkfk#i dont draw nakedness im surprised this isnt too bad 😭😭#also im happy cause i stopped myself from stressing over it being too overly detailed#loose fabric my behated 😡😡 but then i realized. i dont have to kms over it so i didnt!#still looks pretty good :) but i mostly like his torso face and hair ahhhh#lol also ik saint seb fits older seb better but. i like twink seb okay 🫣 also its an au thing so#MAN I WISH I FINISHED THE COMIC ACCOMPANIMENT#but it just wasnt clicking and i ended up drawing this first instead#but yes humbly please take my seb offering#f1#formula 1#<- again absurd to tag this at this point but idc#sebastian vettel#sv5#catie.art.#martian#<- not inherently in the drawing itself BUT ITS THERE#tw blood#rennaisance muse au
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#what the fuck are people calling this show for short#anyway i was talking about it with my bf and its so nice to have a tsundere who isnt just overly mean again#like the whole point of tsunderes is that they like you and its OBVIOUS they like you#for what i thought was gonna be a shitty comedy harem all the girls are actually really likeable#it really feels like they're the best examples of their specific niches#hyakkano#thats the tag for it#100 kanojo#also? idk
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can people be normal about personality disorders and DID and stuff please im a teacher i want to know what to do to help a student with this.
#ari opinion hour#teaching tag#like shut the fuck up about how mucb people with NPD love lying and shit No. Give me the actual facts.#in an unbiased and not-overly-vitriolic way.#i dont wanna be That Guy that doesnt get it!!!#just in general all the ones that are fuckin demonized its just. Unhelpful.#and i worry that like#reading it will make me biased and treat students with them unfairly :(#anyway if anyone knows any sources about any typically demonized disorder that are actually helpful i would appreciate that cause im going#to have students at some point with all of them and i dont wanna be That Asshole who doesnt know jack shit i want them to learn and from#experience you cant do that if you have to be constantly on your guard all the time!!!
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ngl but I feel the attitude among many people who are insistent on "but what if the Prime Deities are bad/the Vanguard does have a point" assumes a very western and Christian view of deities as all-powerful entities who will individually intervene on your behalf, as well as an understanding of religion purely as centralized, with the gods and their followers in perfect lockstep.
The world of Exandria has made it abundantly clear this isn't the case. While Vasselheim is a city run by religious interests and has significant political power and cultural importance, the three largest political powers on Wildemount are all significantly out of sync with it - the Concord is ruled secularly and permits private worship of any deity, the Empire prohibits worship of several of the Prime Deities of import in Vasselheim, and the Dynasty is a theocracy in the name of a divine entity outside of the Prime/Betrayer dichotomy. Tal'Dorei and Marquet are similarly secular in rule. We've also seen that the way in which people worship the same deity can vary wildly; the obvious example is Fjord and Caduceus, but we've also seen multiple devotees of the Raven Queen, Kord, and Ioun with very different practices, and the sourcebooks discuss further small sects and different interpretations. Personal worship seems to be fairly decentralized outside of specific places like the Dynasty and Vasselheim, and Vasselheim permits a diversity of options as well, although with limitations.
In general, the problem with, say, Tuldus, isn't "your religious trauma or disillusionment isn't valid"; it is. The problem is that this was visited upon him by specific mortals, not the deity they worship, and certainly not the entire pantheon which is itself locked in cataclysm-level disagreement and has been for millennia.
#hilariously the anti-god people IN-UNIVERSE are the ones in the death cult so perhaps unpack that#but like. in general...i feel there's such an exhausting tendency within the fandom to like#overly 21st century United States over Exandria particularly w/regards to religion and sexuality in a way that is simply not supported#and like. not that it isn't an influence since the cast are 21st century americans but influence =/= the world itself#like. this is perhaps cynical but a lot of people in fandom and beyond are just like. my parents did this and i don't like it so it's bad#and extrapolate wildly from a very small point and never bother to stop and think#cr tag
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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“lucifer i’ve got a migraine” you say
“okay. come here” he says and drills a fucking hole right into your skull
you sigh in relief. “thank you.”
#brought to you by: i’m having a fcuking migraine and can’t sleep#this is what the migraine fic is going to be guys. just sou know#should i do. a cw warning.#cw gore imagery#i think? would work best. idk y’all#cw gore#like just to be super safe in case one of u guys has a vivid imagination and can spiral into imagery lol#obey me fanfiction#<- i think this post can count for this tag because i use quotation marks and there’s a character interaction.#i’m an official obey me fic writer guys xox. writing in second pov is actually really easy oddly enough lol#does anyone else in this fandom get chronic migraines. do u have an overwhelming soft side for lucifer because he gets them too#like it’s not overly expressed in game but i like that he’s a miserable character and gets migraines because haha *points* that’s me.#when he psssed out from a migraine and lost all his memories… so real of him. and we caused that.#you’re welcome babe. me next
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I should do more things like I tag my tumblr posts tbh.
#there’s not a coherent system BUT I also don’t fuss about it#also sometimes I go off in the tags and it’s fun. Okay I do that all the time but I mean the actual organization system#I generally can find specific posts I want and so can followers. Or at least enough#but for whatever reason I have just not been overly fussy about trying to do it perfectly and it has worked out better than if I tried#this is the most boring text post in the history of the world I’m so sorry akdkkejejeje#I need to let more things go#many many things#is my point. sorry the vehicle for that thought was insanely boring alkskekekekj
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I'm tempted to blacklist Kipperlilly Copperkettle because people are so goddamn annoying about her
#babbling#which is a shame because i find her to be an interesting characted and a compelling villain#but I'm neither interested in pretending she's evil incarnate nor secretly right and incredibly sympathetic#when she's neither of those things. like explicitly in text neither of those things#she's a teenager predisposed to anger being influenced by a corrupted deity to turn her worst impulses up to 11#that's interesting! that's compelling!! but who she was before was neither irredeemably evil nor overly sympathetic#she was just a flawed petty child#whose misplaced anger is being weaponized by something so much bigger than her#i probably won't do it because she's such a central character at this point that it would just decimate the fhjy tags#and there's a lot of good stuff in there too#but jfc
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I wish people who write lotr fanfic didn’t inevitably end up writing low key constant emotional abuse to their blorbo.
#kicking a hornets nest here#but I’ll start reading something lighthearted and wonder I start feeling more and more uncomfortable the further in I get#the Peter jacksonification and what I suspect are culturally W.A.S.P ppl writing fic#without having read the books or. rely on period dramas for world building#idk it just ends up creating what feels like something deeply insidious masqarading as some teen fixit fic where everybody lives#and then I feel insane and overly sensitive for wanting half the shire Gandalf thranduil and 2/3ds the dwarves & bilbo to kill them selves#bc I cannot fathom how a any fuckjng says that b why would let someone say or do something like that to you#and then I realize it’s. it’s the same reylo#it’s the same 50 shades of grey mentality type stuff#I hate to assume anything about anyone’s identity over one fic. but be fr. either you genuinely believe this is normal or you’re writing#you’re writing it for plot reasons. and like. that’s how you advance the plot? I’d rather read dead dove at this point.#fuck it everyone dies.#talking tag#this is obv. a massive generalization. gods know I beat the hell out of my blorbos#but I am tired. the horse is dead and you’ve beaten it so much it’s glue and fish is toothpaste.
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maybe i should just put proship in my bio already
#read this in the most exhausted tone you can imagine.#a tone that says 'yes. fine. if we're going to be forced to label ourselves now i align with this. but this false dichotomy shit is stupid.#mostly just want people to stop following me when they've got 'proship dni' somewhere on their bio#because what the fuck does that mean. look me in the eyes right now. how the fuck. am i supposed to know.#what each and every person's individual definition of proship is. how am i supposed to know where you draw#your arbitrary line of what is and is not okay to write about.#i cannot read your mind. i don't know you. get off of my page until you can clearly communicate your boundaries.#and at that point hopefully you'll also be able to think critically about shit enough to realize that anti/pro shit is nonsense.#i write noncon because i think its hot. i will also tag that shit so that it can be avoided. that is the agreement out here.#gosh sorry. that was so overly aggressive. im very frustrated.#ive been in this fandom a long time i am. very very tired. i just want to write my samifer in peace. make some angels kiss each other.
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having opinions in this fandom but not saying any of them
#its too hard and takes too long to articulate what i wanna say#and i dont want to get into it with anyone really. so i will just sit here. stewing in mild frustration. its fine#part of it is also bc like. i do have points i think i could make#however i also know that at least some part of it is also just me being biased/overly sensitive and i dont want that to bleed thru#idk. ive said too much (has not said anything and is in fact just vagueing my own opinions in the tags)#also shoutout to this image i didnt have one for this post at first so i pulled up a big stickman reaction pic compilation post i had saved#and this one was so perfect like yes that is how i feel simmering in my feelings at my computer thank u#discourse#<- well not really this is all 100% vagueing but the vibes are bad u know#i am just making this post in the hopes that it frees my brain from said bad vibes by putting them out into the world#anyways does anyone want to walk into the sea with me
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I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3
#random post#me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/#I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living#I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it#also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible#way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems#and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes#it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is#me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real#anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie#lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd#ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for#over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me#spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3#when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing#nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living#drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s#causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been#using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit#but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever#it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot#I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms#together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally#I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our#communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont#get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of#how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones#I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you
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as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!
#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed#BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!!#(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics)#and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction#just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future#anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really#but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧#idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though#i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited#ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB#kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me….#and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see#followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS#(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like#extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….)#anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework#(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it)#and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on??#and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else#and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!!#projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!)#history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end)#one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!)#and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming#and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE#ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real#can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together#but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something??#anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep#thank you world. goodnight
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I remember on the radio Waters was asked about the male gaze-y stuff in the Handmaiden and she just completely avoided the question
Which I think is pretty telling about what that movie is like (also lowkey side eyeing her)
From what I understand the opinion she holds of it is neutral towards positive, she felt uncomfortable too but shrugged it off because younger queer people are allowed to enjoy that if they want, seemed to hold her tongue on specifics because she respects the guy regardless and vibed with it, but honestly I personally don't care regardless I just want to read about hairy women instead of watching something a guy made while thinking of queer liberation as just a risque trope with a fun crime flick twist to it but hey I'm just cynical
#I can't read the tone of this ask for the life of me but calling it 'that movie' implies you don't much care for it so not the same anon#also this is a normal way to talk while the other anon just flared off after reading only the first tag I left on the poll lol#the movie has interesting cultural elements as well from what I understand but he admitted it was an afterthought to needing a setting that#fit the dynamics he had in mind for the characters so idk#still off gender wise#a tag for asks#what fucking gets me is the implication that I'd hold this opinion because I like overly sanitized stuff I'm literally a horror fan :(#I love women I love fucked up women killing and fucking each other but y'know WHEN QUEER PEOPLE ARE WRITING IT#or y'know at least someone giving any actual consideration to irl queer people like toby like ikuhara#those aren't not horror but you get my point
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