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sangorous · 3 years

Text

꒰𝐳𝐞𝐰𝐨.꒱

various kuroko’s basketball seirin 3rd years x black!fem!reader & black!fem!oc

Love, a four-letter word that held multiple different meanings. The word love can leave a sweet taste in your mouth as if you were eating your favorite candy, or it can leave a bitter taste as if you ate a piece of black licorice. When it came to love [your name] and her friends were so curious about it, especially [your name]. Analyse and Jaliah named [your name] the hopeless romantic, always daydreaming about love. And she didn't mind the nickname, because what girl didn't dream about love? To find true love and be happy. That is what she truly wanted in life, and she was hopeful that it'd happen. With the three starting college together, she was destined to find true love.

At first, she thought the idea of finding love at college was a frivolous joke. Then it occurred to her that anything could happen, maybe she could actually find love. Both Analyse and Jaliah tried to warn their best friend that she should be focusing on school rather than love, but if [your name] was going to be honest, who said you couldn't have both? You could get your degree and fall in love, there was nothing wrong with that. Being a hopeless romantic in an era where love was slowly dying out became her source of happiness. Despite her and her friends different ideals with love, she thought hers was the best outtake.

Analyse never cared for love, love was nonexistent to her. All the relationships she's had in the past were friends with benefits, nothing too serious. And when she felt like she was catching feelings, she immediately cut ties with that person. Especially being burned by the previous relationship. A relationship filled with lies and broken promises. If what she felt with that person was considered love, she never wanted to experience love ever again. It was a waste of her time and something that could never satisfy ones need. to her, love was not a necessity. Love was overplayed, it was a fad. who seriously believed in a bunch of bullshit like that? "love is just like a hurricane, it comes and wipes you empty of everything you've had," is what she would say whenever that topic was being discussed.

Jaliah on the other hand, she wasn't against love nor did she crave it. Love was just there to her. You either fall in love or you don't. Sometimes it was okay to fall in love, it was okay to daydream about romantic sceneries, it was okay to hopeful about your true love coming one day, and it was okay to just love. It was also okay to not fall in love, it was okay to avoid love, it was okay if you weren't interested in falling in love, and it was okay to never fall in love. Everyone was different and had different perceptions of what love was to them and how it felt like. Jaliah had her rollercoaster ride with love, where she experienced the happiness and the sadness.

Yet their different views never once tore their friendship apart, it helped them grow stronger. Unknowingly, they were the lovesick girls. Deep down, they were still looking for love.

Move-in day was the day they anticipated. They were not sure how, but they were able to share a dorm together. Analyse assumed that they'd separate once they got to college, but that was not the case. She never knew that dorms could go up to three rooms, so this was exciting. All three best friends in a dorm together? This could either be a blessing or a curse in disguise. All they knew was that they were sorry in advance to the people next to their room, and the people in the hall they're in.

The first thing the three friends were doing was arguing over the bed and which bed they wanted. Scratch that, it was actually [your name] and Analyse arguing over which bed they wanted. Jaliah did not care which bed she got, because to her they all looked the same. She didn't know what was different about each bed. She found the two arguing over beds that felt like you were sleeping on sandpaper and rocks ridiculous. Jaliah could have stopped the argument, but she found it entertaining.

The arguing got boring, so jaliah decided to take measures into her own hand. She walked over to the corner bed that the two were arguing over, and began to unzip one of her bags. She grabbed her bedding materials and set the bed up and laid down right over. problem solved, no need to argue anymore. The two stared at jaliah with a blank face as she looked over her phone.

"I'm sorry, just watchin' you two argue over a damn bed drove me crazy," she scoffed, looking at the phone. The two huffed as they walked over to a bed and began to set their beds.

Once their beds were set, they decided that they would fix and organize their closets and their rooms tomorrow. What they needed to do was go buy a few supplies so that their room looked cute. They made sure they had their mini backpacks and room key before heading out. They were in awe as they stared at the dorm hallway, They were very long and smelt nice. which was a refresher, because during their high school years, the hallways always smelled terrible.

[your name] had a gut feeling to check her bag, and she was glad that she did. She saw that her card was not inside her mini backpack, which meant that it was inside of her fanny pack. She told jaliah and analyse that she'd meet them back in lobby while she quickly jogged towards the elevator. As she was jogging, she bumped into someone. Just when she thought she was going to fall completely on her face, that mysterious person quickly grabbed ahold of her arm.

"Are you okay?" the deep voice spoke as she stared at him.

"I'm sorry, I should've paid attention," she quickly apologized while the male chuckled. She looked up at him and he was tall. He looked a good 6 foot 6, with brown hair and his eyebrows were slightly bushy.

"I was just about to say that. I was too busy rushing back to my room to get something, so sorry about that," he smiled, scratching the back of his neck. It didn't take long for the silence to consume them as they stared at each other for a brief moment.

"Kiyoshi Teppei," he stuck his hand out, which caused her to gasp in her head. His hand was large, she has never seen a hand that big before.

"[your name]," she shook his hand, feeling hers being engulfed into his. Is this what it felt like to shake hands with someone whose hands were two times theirs? Because she kinda liked it. She felt that his hand was compatible with hers.

"See you around," he flashed her one more smile before they parted ways.

Somehow, she felt that she would be seeing him again. And with the next encounter, they wouldn't be bumping into each other. Instead, they'll be meeting face to face with a smile.

32 notes · View notes

honeyatsu · 3 years

Text

Loner (Junpei x F!Reader)

Reader implied POC! but ofc anyone can read <3

warnings: none that I can think of

Summary:

Junpei was suspicious of you. He always felt the world was filled with people who were naturally evil in some way, until you came into his life and challenged his theory.

masterlist

Spotify playlist - all the songs I listened to helping me write this story. lmao and songs that helped inspire some parts. Think of it as an unorganized soundtrack.

AO3

a/n: Hiii. He deserved better. I was rewatching and got mad all over again. The first time I saw his character arch I almost threw the whole show away lmfao but I can’t wait to continue the manga during summer! There wasn’t enough content so I decided to make some.

The familiar dark marble floors were all Junpei would keep his eyes on as he walked to his next class, the chatter of his fellow classmates bouncing around the walls acting as background noise he would attempt to mentally cancel out. Junpei didn’t bother to look anyone in the eye, it’s not as if he had anyone to look forward to seeing anyways truthfully. High school was supposed to be a place where the best memories were made, but Junpei couldn’t relate to those empty promises of those being his best years. Everyday feeling as if there was a target on his back for his unfriendly peers; he would do his best to hide within the shadows he felt comfortable in, doing his best to make himself as invisible as possible. His only goal was being to survive the day without being bothersome to others.

Just as before, staring at the ground and ignoring the chatter going on in the classroom he made his way to the conjoined desk in the back of the room. He sat on the desk and began pulling out the material, his first time raising his head during the day to scan the room, everyone but one other person having a sitting partner. It didn’t sting him that he was sitting alone, that’s how things usually went for him. He was either alone or ostracized, finding being alone the better option of the two.

As the teacher began to lecture about the importance of being prepared for the advanced chemistry class, Junpei began to scribble down in his notebook taking notes already. His eyes didn’t leave his notepad until he heard the large bang of the classroom door hitting the wall.

“I’m sorry for being late!” you screamed while bowing to the class, panting and catching your breath with your hands now holding on to your knees. It was easy to tell that you ran to class and still managed to be notably late.

The teachers rolled her eyes at you, unfazed by your obnoxious entrance in the classroom. “Just choose a seat.” She scowled before returning to the beginnings of her lecture.

Your eyes scanned the room before you noticed the empty spot in the combined desk in the back, you didn’t even look at the person who would be sitting beside you, you just knew you wanted the desk farthest away from the front to prevent being called on during class.

Junpei on the other hand cursed himself as he saw you rush to the seat next to him; he knew that the seat was your target as soon as he noticed your eyes land on it. He recognized who you were, he knew who your friends were. Why would you sit next to him? What was your plan, to mock him? His heart was beating rapidly the closer you got, his palms began sweating. He doesn’t know if he can manage being picked on in class, he has never had a personal interaction with you but what made you different from your friends?

You rushed your way to your seat and began to drag the items from your bag onto the desk. Your elbow accidentally bumped into the classmate next to you, the physical action causing a small yelp from the boy. You finally turn to see him, the first thing you noticed were his eyes, they were the kind of green that would kiss over the ground during the beginning of spring time, probably the prettiest green eyes you’ve ever seen. His hair was brown and reached his shoulders, with one bang large enough to cover the right side of his face. You were too enchanted by his appearance that it took you a while to see how uncomfortable he was. His body was slightly trembling as your elbow was still making physical contact with him, his eyes slightly widened, he wasn’t even trying to hide how uncomfortable he was with the accidental physical reaction along with you staring at him as if he had three heads.

“Sorry.” You whispered to him removing your elbow from his side and looking down at your stationary materials, organizing them on the desk. From the corner of your eyes you can see him looking down at his desk, his body was stiff, and you could tell he was still uncomfortable. “If me sitting here bothers you, I’ll move…. it’s just this is a hard class and I don’t want to be called on all the time and embarrass myself.” You turn to face him and see that he still isn’t looking at you. “But please put up with me. I promise I won’t distract you.”

His eyes perked up while hearing your last sentence, he didn’t expect you to have such a kind and sincere tone. He finally brought his head up, slighting turning his head to face you. He couldn’t point out where he’s seen eyes like yours before, and he saw the small smile formed on your lips. People have smiled at him before and he can usually tell how people are feeling by looking at their eyes. He was good at reading people, he had to be just to survive. But he couldn’t read you, he couldn’t tell how you were feeling towards him. He doesn’t remember the last time someone showed him any sort of sincerity.

“No…it’s fine. You can sit here.” He managed to whisper out while looking back down scribbling down some notes.

Fifteen minutes went by, the class slowly dragging out and it being harder to focus. Junpei’s head was starting to feel heavy, he didn’t regain complete focus until he noticed the ink getting lighter on his notebook. He scribbled fast and hard, trying to get ink out before realizing it was completely dry. He cursed himself in his head, his day just starting and already something had to go wrong. Hearing the sound of rough scribbling on the paper your eyes darted to his side, seeing the pen drag only putting scratches on the sheet.

His head turned towards you out of curiosity, hearing the aggressive rustling from you digging in your bag. Your eyes focused and face scrunched up in concentration, your tongue slightly sticking out. He wanted to think you were cute, but he knew who your friends were, and that group was anything but cute. While he was deep in thought about how unfortunate it was that he already knew the type of person you were by your crowd, he almost missed the sense of accomplishment displayed on your face as you pulled out a packet of glitter pens. Your smile grew as you turned to him, realizing he was already looking at you. You were satisfied with the first instance of eye contact with your desk mate. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks; he didn’t need a mirror to know the red hues were forming on his face embarrassed with getting caught staring at you.

“These are my favorite pens.” You whispered to him, still looking at him not caring that he looked away for a second. “I only share these with my friends.” His eyes grew wide, were you going to rub in his face that his pen went out on him? What kind of teasing was this, for you to make fun of something so small? He was appalled that he knew he was right, you sat next to him just to -

“So, lets be good friends, okay?” You cut off his train of thought as you placed a dark blue glitter pen on his desk. He slowly turned to you, seeing the same smile on your face from earlier, the same smile he couldn’t quite read.

He nodded back at you nervously, his hands shaking as he grabbed the pen you placed onto his side of the desk. You nodded to him as you returned to focusing on the lesson, knowing his nod was his way of saying ‘thank you’ without speaking.

Junpei had trouble focusing on the rest of the lesson, hands still shaking while using the pen you let him borrow.

---------------------------------------------------------

Your body ached as you dragged yourself out of the school grounds. Cheer club just ended, and you were exhausted from learning the basics of it considering this would be your first time being in the cheer club. The sun was out still, slowly going down making the sky a mix of yellow, orange and red. The only thing you could think about was going home and hoping that your mom had left over food from the dinner the other day.

While walking to the direction of your house you noticed a boy with a slender build a few feet away from you, and once you saw the long bang you grew excited, recognizing him as the boy you sat next to in class. All the energy you lost regained quickly as you ran up to your new friend. “Hey!” You screamed as you ran into his back, tripping on the cracked ground while making your way towards him. You held on to his sides to prevent you from falling, his body tensed up at the sudden contact and you screaming at him.

His heart dropped, he thought he was able to go an entire day without being picked on. He was confused, he didn’t think you’d bother him too. He made sure to not get in anyways way today, he just wanted a day where he could be in the background and be left alone, but at the last moment of him being on his way home you appeared out of nowhere and ran into him. Were you trying to push him down? Did you get angry he never gave the pen back? Were you being kind to trick him before you finally got to pick on him like the rest of your friends?

“I’m sorry!” You squealed out. You removed your hands from his back and walked towards him, giving him a tired smile.

You apologized for hitting him, why did you apologize?

“Didn’t mean to run into you! I just left my club and saw you walking, I wanted to say hi. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, again.” You laughed out awkwardly. Junpei gave you a confused look. He was suspicious of you, what did you want from him for you to constantly acknowledge him unprovoked? Sure, he’ll let go of the class interaction. You guys were desk mates, you were probably being cordial. You lend him your pen because you noticed his ran out, unlike your friends you at least had common decency. But why would you come up to him outside of class? What could you possibly gain from talking to him outside of having to?

The pen. Once he remembered he never gave it back, he retrieved it from his pocket and brought it out, extending his hand out to give it to you. “I-I never said thank you. Here, you can have it back.”

Once you saw what he was trying to do you laughed at his actions, “I gave it to you silly. It’s yours to keep! I mean we’re friends after all, right?”

His breathe got caught in his throat, he felt unable to respond. He tried to find any signs of malice in your face but couldn’t find anything.

“Oh, right. I sound funny declaring friendship when I don’t even think I’ve given you my name! I’m y/n.” You said with a smile.

For the first time, he returned it back to you softly. “Junpei.”

You opened your mouth to say something back, but your next sentence was disrupted with a loud growl from your stomach. Your eyes widened in embarrassment as your squealed and brought your arms to your side, squeezing your stomach.

“Sorry!” you said quickly, “I just left my club. It was a lot of work today, my body is exhausted and I’m starved.”

Junpei laughed at your reaction, you smiled realizing you got another first from him today.

“Hey Junpei, are you busy?”

“Uhm, I was just going to walk home now…” he replied back to you softly.

“How about we get some ramen! I know this great place not too far from school. I was gonna eat at home, but there probably isn’t food anyways. And you’re here so I don’t gotta go alone! You’ll love it I promise, it’s so good.” You continued to ramble on. You didn’t even give Junpei a chance to respond to you before you grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to the direction of the ramen restaurant. You were walking in front of him as he was being dragged behind you, you were holding onto his wrist the entire way there. He was glad you didn’t get a chance to see his flustered face the entire way there.

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“You’re seriously not going to finish?” Your voice was muffled due to your cheeks being stuffed with the food in your mouth. It was hard not to stare at you while you were eating, he’s never seen a girl eat so aggressively or fast. You took a big swallow of the remaining food in your mouth, his eyes grew wide noticing your bowl, completely empty. “How embarrassing, I’m done already.” You whined out noticing his bowl looking as if its barley been touched.

“I don’t eat much.”

“I guess I should have asked if you had an appetite before I invited you. All I did was embarrass myself.” You sighed as you leaned back in your booth, rubbing your bloated stomach for comfort.

“I-it’s okay! Um, I’m…sorry?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression, “You’re real funny, you know?” You took out your phone and whined as you noticed how late it was getting. “It’s getting so late and I totally forgot I had chores! My moms gonna kill me!” You hurriedly got up and grabbed your school bag.

Before you walked away you turned to Junpei, “I hope we do something like this again one day.” And with that being the last thing you said, you ran out of the restaurant and headed your way home.

Junpei was in his head the entire way home. This by far had to be the most confusing school day he’s had. He tried not so hard to think about the classroom interaction, but then you basically forced him to hang out with you after school hours. Friends weren’t something Junpei had a lot of, he grew up being bullied and it followed him even at the age of seventeen. Outside of his few club members, he didn’t really talk to anyone let alone see them after school.

He’s seen you around before, you were pretty popular. You were always surrounded by friends; he can’t say he was fond of any of them. You declared him as your friend, but didn’t you know what your friends did to him? He couldn’t tell if you were genuine, and he wasn’t ready to let his guard down yet. This was too suspicious for him.

All he had on you so far was:

You were very peculiar, your aura screamed kindness but it could be too good to be true. He had just met you after all.

You had a problem with being on time.

Him being in his head made his walk home seem quicker than it usually was, time flew by as he was mentally theorizing who you were as a person and what was your plan with him. He didn’t even hear his mother greet him as he walked in, asking if he was hungry and ready to eat.

“Junpei? Are you not going to eat?”

“Hm?” He finally looked up from the ground facing his mom. “Oh, no. Sorry. I didn’t tell you I went out to eat after school. With a….friend.”

#junpei yoshino #yoshino junpei x reader #jjk #jjk junpei #junpei x poc reader #jujutsu kaisen #readerpoc #poc reader #junpei x reader

308 notes · View notes

honeyatsu · 3 years

Text

Loner [Junpei x f!reader] 3

warnings: minor mentions of bullying, minor blood.

Summary:

Junpei was suspicious of you. He always felt the world was filled with people who were naturally evil in some way, until you came into his life and challenged his theory.

crossposted here

masterlist

unorganized soundtrack

The sky’s the limit – a feeling that felt so far away to you, finally came back after years, while being at the top of the cheer pyramid, the crowd cheering you on for your team; for you as you strike the high-V pose, smiling at the crowd. It used to be scary, having to be at the very top, being the flyer, having to deny your body to react to the natural fatigue of bouncing around, repeating the same memorized routine, stunts, and cheers – only showing a smile and perfectly synched show to the crowd.

It used to be scary, having to trust your team to be able to hold you without dropping you. It was scary being brought into an environment where you were a part of a team, having only done sports where you would rely on yourself and your trained skills alone. To have a team where trust was such an important part of making things work, being at each other’s mercy when tossing you into the air, was horrifying to say the least. The act of trusting itself is scary.

Your eyes scanned the crowd slowly, subconsciously blurring them all out, it felt weird seeing all those eyes on you from that up high. Taking deep breathes you tried to steady your breathing, focus on being still and present and not let your mind wander because anything that goes wrong could lead to you falling down and being the cause of your team’s loss.

If you were being honest, you hated cheer – at least you did in the beginning. Admittedly, you were done with sports. You’ve been done with sports for a while, it’s not that you hated pushing your body past it’s limits, it’s not like you didn’t enjoy getting stronger, faster, more resilient.

But while being at the very top, while catching your breath and trying to be as still as you physically could, you couldn’t help but feel the excitement bubbling up in your chest by thinking about sitting with that black leathered sketchpad and a pencil. Honestly, a few years down the line, you found a new passion. The moment your pencil stroked along the first paper of the new sketch pad you’d gotten for your thirteenth birthday, you were hooked. It almost felt ludicrous, as if you’d be a part of an affair. Dedicating so much of your youth to athleticism, that being all you knew, your passion was led elsewhere while sitting on your bed with the fondest memory of your father teaching you basic sketching techniques.

But then are moments like this – the way the crowd would cheer for you, your team, the bright eyes beaming at you do what not everyone is willing to work hard enough to do, seeing the admiration of younger girls in the crowd, this feeling was enough for you too.

(You remember after your first martial art tournament, a young girl no older than the age of nine years old came up to you, saying when she grows up, she wants to be strong like you. Strong, that’s a word you would have never used to describe yourself as, but if sports are what brought the trait out of you, just leaving would be leaving a piece of you behind you weren’t sure you’d get back.)

You knew you would cause a minor deduction for your team, looking down at the dangling gold chain that slipped out of your cheer top, not keeping the eyes on the crowd for a mere few seconds can cause a strain in performance points along with the noticeable uniform violation. Mentally cursing yourself, you shot your head back up as you were thrown up in the air, performing the stunt known as the basket toss before landing on the ground. As soon as your feet touched the ground a familiar feeling of anxiousness flowed throughout your body like a stream, being done and awaiting the results were almost horrifying for you – knowing your small distraction could be marked as a huge slip-up. One thing you’ve gotten from being an athlete is you’re expected no less than perfection and being so new to this specific sport, you weren’t sure you were able to offer that, but it didn’t hurt your ego any less.

Waiting was the hard part – and that could be said for your entire team.

The motions of you and your teammates chest were shaky and slow, holding on to each other’s hands as you waited for them to announce first place. In your mind, the crowd was becoming larger while your team shrunk as their eager eyes gazed upon you, almost as nerve-wrecked to hear the results like you; every passing second, your team felt smaller and smaller. The saliva in your mouth becoming sticky and thick, rolling your tongue around trying run from the dry feeling surrounding your mouth. Your free hand subconsciously made way to the uniformed skirt, squeezing tight to the fabric– anything to physically release the unease churning in your stomach. For a moment everything was silent, you were so nervous that you put the world on mute as your eyes shut tight, anticipating the results that seemed to take too long to come.

The first thing you heard were the cheers, the announcement from the judges slipping your mind. In slow motion, you felt your team mates huddle around, crying, yelling, cheering, you all have just one first place to one of the most challenging competitions of the year.

You tried your best not to look at the section of your school, it’s been years since your mother has been to any of you sporting events; due to her heavy workload. A part of you was hoping to see one familiar face in the crowd, but you knew the chances were slim considering these types of things weren’t exactly his cup of tea. Before giving up your short search, you spotted the same brown hair you like to play with while sitting under a tree during lunch, the same long bang on the right side of his face that you want to push back so bad to get a full view of his angelic face he insisted on hiding from the world. He was sitting alone in an isolated row, far enough to be away from the large crowd but close enough for you to get a good view of him giving you a bright, wide smile, cheering for you loudly and proudly. You take it in – you almost forgot how good it felt to have someone cheering for you, it’s been years since seeing someone close and dear to you come to support you in these types of settings. You beam at him, waving frantically and cheering, giving him a smile that was so new to him, your cheeks high and corner of eyes wrinkled, a smile that says thank you, and he gave you a sheepish smile back, reassuring the same way you’ve been there for him, he will for you, even if it means coming to events that are out of his comfort zone.

After bowing and thanking the crowd for supporting your team, you guys head off to the back to go to the locker rooms to change and get ready to leave. Your teammates were chatting amongst each other while you were stuck in thought, how long it’s been since you’ve been in a competition that intense. You were used to being alone, not even having a consistent supporting system for a few years, it felt good to win alongside a team – a family that was given to you.

Before you made it to the locker rooms, you hear heavy footsteps frantically making their way to you. You turned on your heels as you see Junpei running towards you, out of breath and sweat dropping from his forehead. In a swift motion, he let his arms out and nearly tackled you – giving you the tightest and most affectionate hug he ever has in your time of knowing him. With him so close to you and squeezing you so tightly, you hope he missed the way your heart beat rapidly increased, you hope he missed the way that your body heated up feeling his chest so close to yours, feeling his heavy hot breathing trailing down from your ear to neck.

The few agonizing seconds was put to a halt as he pulled way, staring down at you, stars in his eyes with an enthusiastic smile, not even caring that he just ran the most he ever has in his life, not caring that catching his breath seems impossible, not even caring at those familiar glares from those girls you like to call your friends eyeing the two of you up and down with scowls on their faces.

“You did so good! You looked like….an angel! When they threw you in the air, a literal angel or fairy – or something.” He blurted out, the volume of his soft voice going a bit louder than you were used to. The laugh you let out sounded like warm honey, a laugh you weren’t even sure you could make anymore. Opening your mouth to thank him for his kind words, you were interrupted with sour snicker from behind you.

“Your new best friend is totally looking at your tits, babe.” Tsubasa said from behind you.

Your body tensed as her scratchy voice echoed in your ears, her sour voice matching the wicked personality she possessed. Your eyes followed where Junpei was looking towards, and you see that he’s taken notice to the golden locket that he hasn’t seen you wear before. You turn your head slowly, your face twisting as you saw the smug look on the girl’s face.

“It’s my necklace.” You spat back at her, “Mind your business.” You look back at Junpei, seeing the look of grimace on his face – you held in your chucked as you noticed the way his mouth was twitching, holding in his tongue trying not to let Tsubasa in the way of his personal celebration with you. The thing about Junpei, as soft spoken as he was, he always spoke his mind, always spoke up for himself, and if he didn’t vocally say anything, his face always gave away what he was thinking. You often wondered if he realized that or not, but you knew to save the question for another day.

Tsubasa resorted to rolling her eyes; deciding that snapping back wouldn’t be worth her time. She trotted away, disappearing into the hall – you wish she would disappear from your life, cheer captain or not, she was aggravating and bitter to say the very least.

Directing your attention back to Junpei, you place your hand on his shoulder, feeling his stiffened body and face relax at your touch, giving him a small reassuring smile, “I’ll meet you in a few, let me shower and change.”

The locker room was quiet – too quiet for a team that just won a competition that was this big. You kept your head held high making your way to your locker to grab your belongings to freshen up, not caring for the not-so subtle glances being suck towards you as you walked past all the girls. To be fair, after befriending Junpei you quickly knew why he was so antisocial and why you never met him before, even though you’ve been going to the same school since the first year. His avoidance tendencies no longer became a mystery to you when your friends would groan at the mention of him, the constant whining and reaction of disgust when you would leave them for him. It wasn’t long until you would see the subtle teasing he would endure because of your friends – it made you feel sick that these were your friends, it felt like you didn’t really know them after witnessing those small moments. But Junpei never mentioned it to you, never going further than ‘‘your friends are just jerks’’, since he never brought it up, you were sure not too, knowing how sensitive of a topic it was.

Once you stepped out of the shower, you hear the cheers and praises being sent back and forth between your team mates. Remembering the intense match, acknowledging their win and hard work being paid off. As you began to dry your body off you hear them mention going out to eat to celebrate their accomplishment as a team. Bringing your head up after drying off your legs, your eyes locked with Tsubasa’s and a sinister smirk spread across her face before she opened her mouth, “Don’t bother inviting (y/n).” she snickered, applying a thick coat of cheap sticky gloss to her chapped lips. “She’s gonna be with her boyfriend.” The word boyfriend being spat out venomously.

Along with the sneaky remarks being echoed throughout the locker rooms, bouncing from the walls you didn’t miss the hollered laughter, each shriek being equivalent to claws slowly inching its way down a chalkboard – being annoyed would be an understatement, “who knew you were into weirdos.” An underclassman on your team snorted out, that being the last straw for you.

You let out a load groan, frowning at the girls around the room with a sharp glare, “Can you guys just shut the fuck up? Are you guys sure you aren’t the ones who like him?” you said slamming your locker shut – causing the girls closest to you jump, nearly dropping the grip onto the towels that were covering their soaked bodies.

“Wha- ? We’re just joking, (Y/N). Plus, how well do you even know him?” Tsubasa displayed an over exaggerated look of offence on her face, mouth slightly open with her finger twirling the few front strands of her hair. You pulled down your shirt, your golden locket usually kept hidden fallen out as it did earlier during the competition. Eyelashes down, you lightly hold onto it with your fingertips feeling the eyes of the girls around you fallen onto the locket as well. The atmosphere of the room slowly changing, no longer a place of distasteful jokes but one of sorrow. It made your stomach churn, although this was your first time on the cheer team, most of the girls here were already your friends, including Tsubasa. It wasn’t until her remarks towards Junpei and the teasing you’d catch her do when she was sure you weren’t around that you distanced yourself from her, causing her to act out in a way that you were too unfamiliar with. The memory of you crying on top of your bed with Tsubasa and your other friends flooded your mind as you tightly gripped the gold heart that was now on your palm, the sweet words of comfort that once warmed you now becoming empty lifeless words as you become more familiar with the dark side of their personalities that they would usually keep hidden from you. After everything they knew about you, after everything you’ve told them, telling them how no matter how much darkness has spread through your life, you knew there was light and can see the good in everyone. You often voiced how thankful you were for them, having such kind-hearted friends, you could laugh now at how naïve and stupid you were to think that. “— We’re just looking out for you. Sure, you seem happy – or whatever, I guess. But we were here first, okay? He’s just a little…too reserved and weird. We just want to have you back. It’s just some fun teasing, anyways.”

You don’t remember when your chest began to feel heavy, or when the hot tears began to fall down your cheeks. You let go of the locket, bringing your hands to your face to wipe off the tears that snuck their way onto your face, “You guys – You know better.” You managed to say without choking, putting the locket back into your shirt to hide from the world – pulling up your jeans and grabbing your bag before you head out of the uncomfortable space.

Throwing your towel into the laundry bin, a firm grip was on your shoulder. You turned to see Ino, her pink hair up in a ponytail and large hazel eyes boring into yours apologetically, “Hey, I think it’s great you made a new friend you like a lot. Don’t be afraid to bring him around, not all of us are like that.” She whispered out. Ino was a transfer student, you didn’t know much about her other than she was soft-spoken, like Junpei, and a bit more reserved than the rest of the team. Earlier in the school year you were eager to befriend her but seeing her fall into the group of friends you were distancing yourself from, you thought it’d be best to stay away anyways.

“Right.” You said picking up your sports bag, “See ya next practice.”

“And then seeing you fly up so high…!” Junpei exclaims, his laugh going through your ear like a melody. His proud smile being the closest thing to resemble to sunshine in your eyes, his excitement on being a part of a school sporting event sending him on a quick adrenaline rush, “– It just felt good, finally having someone to cheer for. Y’know?”

You just nod, taking in the flushed look on his face as he begins to stuff his face with the ramen in front on him. As your friendship grew, so did his comfortability with you. The first few weeks of you coming into this ramen shop he would barley touch his bowl; it’s amusing to see him practically stuff his face without a second thought now. You didn’t know if it was his excitement on going to his first school sporting event or if he was just not shy around you anymore, but you didn’t care. Any slight display of vulnerability in your friendship with Junpei was a moment of accomplishment to you, so you made a deal with yourself to never think too deep into it and just enjoy these moments of breaking down his wall little by little.

As guilty as you feel, his voice vanishes as you stare at him longingly, his praises going in one ear and out the other. You notice the wrinkle in the corner of his outer eye, the way his cheek bone rises with each smile he makes as noodles hang from his mouth, you wonder if his excitement takes away from the worry he usually has when your too quiet – either way it wasn’t a horrible reason for your silence. You were just admiring his brightened face, feeling the small smile form on your face as your body reacts without thinking, pulling out your phone and taking yet again another photo of him, smiling off-guard, capturing another moment of pure happiness you never want to miss out on.

You see his lips stopped moving, eyes blinking back at you as he slurps up the last of the noodles that were hanging on his lips. You stare back at him – unmoved and unashamed of your sudden action. You snort after a few seconds of the silent staring contest that happened between the two of you, causing Junpei to lightly smile and chuckle to himself before asking jokingly, “Again?” Remembering the first time he caught you taking a photo of him off-guard.

You shrug back at him, picking up your own chopsticks and finally bringing your ramen to your mouth, you were so infatuated with Junpei’s praise and reaction you nearly forgotten how hungry you were. Junpei gives you a toothy grin as he goes back to his own bowl, with each smile he gives you, you feel the barrier he had up against the world slowly shrink in size.

Your eyes shift to your tote bag placed next to you, taking up that entire side of the red booth. You feel heat flush throughout your body as you see the leather black notepad sticking out, making itself known to you. You’ve been meaning to talk to Junpei about a project you had to do – one you’ve been working on anyways without his knowledge. Your friendship with Junpei was solid at this point, you knew that much. You knew your feelings towards each other was mutual, you were best friends, you also knew you had a tendency to often be too intense with the people you cared deeply about.

“You’re in my bag.” You whispered aloud, unaware completely of what you just said, your nerves getting the best of you.

Junpei gave you a quizzical look, his one visible eyebrow scrunched up as he swallows his food.

“I mean – ” you start off, “Pictures of you. I sketched pictures of you. They’re in my bag.”

His excited eyes burn through you, screaming at you without words to show him the sketches you were talking about. You gulp, heat rising to your ears, you hope he doesn’t notice your shaky hands reach for the book as you plop it in front of him, the first page being the first picture you snuck of him while he was at his club. He takes initiative and flips through the rest of the pages, seeing some of him sitting in class with his head placed on the palm of his hands, or him sitting under a tree.

Junpei’s fingers lightly trace over a specific sketch – it’s a drawing of a selfie that you two took together during lunch. He slowly looks up at you and you quickly avert your eyes to avoid his gaze, the feeling of embarrassment slowly introducing itself to you, a feeling you weren’t too familiar with.

Taking a deep breath, you look him in the eye as you clear your throat, “For my art class – ” you couldn’t hide the way your voice trembled with each passing word, “I need to paint something that makes my day, like, something you wake up and look forward to. Well, sitting next to you in class and coming here after, ditching practice and hearing you talk about some gross scary movie, it – that’s what I look forward to when I wake up…”

Your heart twists as you see the way Junpei’s face heats up, his face displaying different shades of red with each word you shakily spit out. You knew Junpei was closed off, becoming his friend and teaching him to let his guard down to form connections wasn’t easy – it isn’t easy. You fear anything too intense would scare him off, you fear being too open would crumble the friendship you were most fond of.

“I gotta – I wanna ask if I can paint you? A canvas and everything.” You mentally scold yourself at your choice of words, obviously a canvas – it’s a damn painting. The word vomit coming out and being stronger than you attempt steady train of thought.

You sit there staring at him – waiting, this felt like something that could bring you closer or pull you apart – if following him around, dragging him to this ramen shop, sneaking pictures of him whenever you had a chance didn’t kill the friendship, something like this possibly could.

What wasn’t expected was the warm feeling sneakily make its way onto your hand, a slight squeeze coming right after. You stared wide-eyed, seeing Junpei’s hand draped over yours. You watch silently in your booth, his hand placed over yours, a sight you would secretly fantasize about but quickly push away. Whenever the daydream occurred you would remind yourself, friends don’t look at each other that way.

“I look forward to you every morning too.” Was all he replied.

Needless to say, you had permission to use him as your muse.

_____________________________

Your fingers graze upon the corners of the pages of the magazine you were holding onto your hands, sitting with your legs crossed on the table with the four boys you slowly formed a friendship with. You use your free hand to wave a cherry lollipop you snatched from Touya, one of the boys in the club with shaggy hair and glasses.

The chatter of the movie they’ve just seen and fallen in discussion to filled one ear while the music you were playing on your air pods filling the other, coming here to pass time by time has become a ritual for you. Once you’d gotten bored with the training that turned into gossip at the cheer club, you’d sneakily make your way to the Movie Club until it was time to go home, this place has become your safe haven. Here you have Junpei and the other boys, that you quickly made friends them, referring to them as your ‘sons’ as a joke.

You studied the pages from your favorite magazine – 6Teen— currently on the page of horoscopes. You usually skip these things, but the bright gold and purple designs caught your eyes, quickly finding your sun signs column, snickering to yourself at how generic these were. You weren’t one to go against the stars or the New Age spirituality that seemed to have your generation wrapped around their finger, but most magazine horoscopes were jokes themselves. You’d visit an astrologer before you ever took prediction meant to be read by their thousands of readers to heart.

‘ (sun sign),

You’ve been allowing your past to heavily effect your current circumstances. Keep an eye on those who keep their eyes on you, don’t be afraid of moving forward and allowing yourself to feel what you’re afraid of.’

You scoffed at the reading, bringing the cherry lollipop to your mouth and then releasing it with a loud ‘pop’! On instinct your eyes move up, catching Junpei staring at you and making eye contact with him. You see the flush spread across his cheeks, him seeing you twist and roll the candy around your tongue seconds earlier. The same feeling of butterflies fluttering throughout your chest caused you to quickly look down, avoiding his gaze that seemed to make you more nervous as each day passed by. Your eyes scanned the page you’ve just read “Keep an eye on those who keep their eyes on you…”, you quickly turn the page and pretend to bring your focus on the new article, on which hair style compliments you more based off the shape of your face.

Maybe you should think twice before mocking the stars and their messages – you thought – even if the messages are being sent through a magazine column.

You hear Junpei clear his throat as he goes back to his conversation, talking about how horrible the most recent Scary Movie was, something about how the franchise happened to get worse the more movies they made.

“Hey, what are you doing in here – (Y/N?)” You brought your head up, removing your air pod as you see a group of boys you were all too familiar with walk into the club room – their presence intimidating. Your eyes scanned them, remembering the moments you had laughing with them during lunch or after club hours, your stomach turning with disgust at these being the type of people you’d surround yourself with before you knew how they truly were, before you opened your eyes a little more and became a little less naïve with the idea that everyone was good.

“I mean, it’s our clubroom.”

“You guys aren’t in this club.”

You and Junpei replied in union, your eyes darted towards him, noticing his defensive stance. His trembling body didn’t match the stern look of assertiveness on his face. Good, you thought to yourself. A little teasing might not hurt everyone, but it was good to see him stand his ground towards the boys who would spit rude spiteful words to him in secret.

“Last time I checked, neither are you.” Shota said, the eerily forced smile he would impose throughout the day spread across his face– the same smile you learned to not trust when a classmate vented to you about him bullying him into doing his homework. The same smile you saw when he confessed to you, only hours after you heard him ridicule Junpei when he thought you weren’t around. “We were actually sent for you!”

You squint your eyes in suspicion, staring at the group of boys looking for any signs of malice. You don’t miss how two in the back hold in their snorting, trying to keep their eyes from you. “But – but no one knows I...”

Shota made his way towards you, bringing his head on top of your head and and patting it, “You aren’t as sneaky as you are pretty. I think you should head back before you get in more trouble than having us get sent for you.”

Your heads turn as you heard a slam on the table, Junpei’s teeth were gritted, eyebrows furrowed and griping onto the table, his eyes beaming with irritation, letting out an annoyed grunt seeing Shota get so physically comfortable with you and flirting with you right in front of him. Whether it was jealous – or your best friend simply being protective over you, it was hard to ignore the rapid beating against your chest, heat rising up through your body at seeing him get protective of you.

In an attempt to calm yourself down and ignore the racing thoughts, you take a deep breathe swatting Shota’s coarse hand from your head, “Right…” Collecting all your items you head towards the door, ignoring the snickering and whistles of the boys who began to uncomfortably surround you. “I’m gonna just go. See you after. Or just – just text me if you need me, for anything, okay?” You emphasize him needing you. Your stomach churned, feeling queasy as you prepared your leave.

Junpei just nods at you, his eyes not leaving Shota as you race your way out of the room.

The uneasy feeling never left you as you made your way back to the Movie Club room, and it only grew once you saw the sight of it. The chairs were spread across the room, one of the desks flipped over, and movies along with books scattered throughout the floor. Your mouth twists along with your chest, your vision going blurry and you began seeing red – red like the spots of blood you see splattered around the floor.

You dropped your bag as your legs reacted before you could process what you saw, tears forming in your eyes as you sprint towards the front of the school. The world around you became blurry, breathing frantic, you’re not worried about the strange looks from classmates or the ugly noises coming out of your mouth due to your drying throat. Once you make your way to the spot, your spot, you halt— the world around you still spinning, sweat dripping down your fingertips. The only thing going through your head is Junpei.

Junpei, Junpei, Junpei.

Where was he? Was he okay? Was the blood his?

He wasn’t at the spot in front of the school where you would usually meet at, he wasn’t at the club, and you didn’t even have his home address. You reach for your bag, cursing yourself as you noticed that you dropped it in his club room. Taking a few deep breathes you rush back, sprinting and ignoring the questions being spat to you when you pass the people you used to be friends with.

Once you got your bag you took out your phone, tossing your bag to the side as you shakily type out to him.

Sent: Why didn’t you wait for me? Told u to text me if anything. Are you okay? I hope you’re okay. Please just let me know how you are. Eat and sleep well for me, okay?

_________________

You lazily plop onto your bed, allowing your body to sink in the mattress. Your head was throbbing and throat scratchy, you cried your entire way home. You stare at the bag thrown across your room – coming home with no appetite you didn’t bother eating or making conversation with your mother. You decided your school work would have to wait until early in the morning.

Your mind was racing with questions, you turned and had your head facing the pillow, screaming into it while kicking your legs. Frustration took over your body, you didn’t even realize your eyelids slowly becoming heavier with each thought racing your mind.

You soon drifted off to sleep, not knowing that Junpei opened your message, leaving you on read.

You went to bed before realizing he was ignoring you.

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