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#jumping to the next request tomorrow~~ ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
meenah-chan · 3 years
Text
Solace
A Belphegor x GN! MC fanfic
3.14k words
Genre: Angst
Trigger warning: mention of death. Read at your own discretion.
Requested by: @belphiesimpalways thank you for patiently waiting for this. Supposedly, this is for your birthday but still, belated Happy Birthday to you!! This became a little bit too long, and I actually changed the whole thing twice 😅😅 I changed the title too to prevent confusion, hope you don't mind.
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He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. A place to call his home. Yet he met them. The one who brings light to his dark days. But what shall he do, when this solace was never been his?
“How I wished I didn’t met you at all.”
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He can hear the harrowing sound of the clock, ringing inside the closed space. As if it were imitating his increasing pulse. Belphegor couldn’t open his eyes. He won’t though, even if he can. He fears he’ll see it again. The agonizing sight of that cursed attic, where he is trapped, cold and lonely. Each click, each clack drives him on a brink of madness.
Somebody please make it stop..! Curled up in his bed, writhing in anguish, Belphegor tried to block the sound with his trembling hands.
Let me out… I hate this place...
“It is for your own good.” Lucifer’s voice reverberates throughout the whole room. His guide light and the hero of his stories… once upon a time, that is.
For my own good? This place was a nightmare! He was imprisoned! He was trapped inside his head, with nothing but bleak thoughts!
He felt cold, with no one to hold onto. With no Beelzebub or Lilith, ready to embrace him when he’s afraid…
Ahhh…
Right…
Even if he managed to escape that place, there’ll be no more Lilith to hold him. To comfort him. To make him laugh of joy and happiness. No more… Lilith is no more…
“...Belphegor?” he snapped his eyes open and suck in a deep breath, as if the voice pulled him out of the deepest pit of the abyss. His heart was beating fast, bathed in his own sweat.
It was just another dream. He was not trapped in the attic any more. He was freed, by the person with him right now, sitting beside his bed, a few weeks ago. “Are you alright? You’re sweating buckets and squirming in your sleep.”
“I’m fine. It was just pretty hot in here.”
They stared at him for a moment before replying. “...If you say so… Wait, let me get you some water and a change of clothes.” unconsciously he raised his hand, fingers tugging on the hen of their shirt which stopped them from their tracks.
“Don’t need one… Just stay here and be my pillow.” Still, feeling a bit anxious of being alone, he didn't let go.
“That won’t do. You’re so drenched. If you don't change clothes and rehydrate, you might get sick. I'll be back in a jiffy.” Yet as they swiftly pried his hand off their clothes, he couldn't do anything but to watch them stride out of the room.
He sighed, recollecting the series of events from the time he met them. “...What a weird person...” He muttered under his breath.
A few weeks ago… Just a few weeks ago, they succeeded in freeing him... Just a few weeks ago, they died by his hands... Yet, they kept on approaching him like nothing had happened.
But oddly enough, he also couldn't get them off his mind; to want them by his side. The only time he could find his peace of mind is when he's with them.
I guess I'm weird too...
Silently, he observed them. The way they speak and walk. The way they would scold him when he chose to nap over catching up his missed lessons. The way they tap and hum unconsciously, while studying with him to encourage him to do so. Those awkward laughs they made as they tried to mend the rift between him and his brothers. The sighs left their lips as his brothers fought over who would have them. The slow and silent steps they make to slip away. The way they wink and place a finger over their lips and pull him with them.
Especially the way their eyes disappear when they're smiling. He can never describe how soothing it was, that smile.
...until he suddenly felt it wasn't.
The way they make the very same smile to Lucifer, Belphegor couldn't help but feel a little bit too irritated. Yes, it was Lucifer. He’s naturally annoyed by him, after what he's done. But this is a little bit different from his usual displeasure.
The youngest just wanted to pry the human off him and drag them away. He knew he couldn't suppress the burning sensation rising from the pit of his stomach. He also knew he'll regret what he wanted to do. He'd look possessive. Delusional. He may even hurt them in the process. So, he chose to escape the scene instead, into the attic which was once his prison.
“Belphegor! I got... and you're asleep.” the demon dares not open his eyes as he hears them make their way to him. “You didn't even remove your uniform...or your shoes. I'm really amazed how you can fall asleep in a matter of seconds.” They carefully remove the shoes and socks from his soles.
Oh no... That's not a good thing. For every touch of their skin sends tingles throughout his entire body. Each cell screaming in a way he never felt before. The bed shook as they crawled in, reaching for the buttons of his vest. He was at his wit's end, completely conscious of the human's presence.
Before they could ever reach for the last row of buttons, his hand stopped them before he lose it.
“What do you think you're doing?”
“Y-You're awake?!” Before they could ever pull back, he tugged them in his chest, flustering the human even more.
“H-Hey, let go. Your uniform will get wrinkled.” They tried squirming out to no avail. The demon is just too strong to make him budge.
“Don't want to.” To hide his warm and probably beet red face, he clasped their nape and keep their face over his shoulder.
“I still haven't changed out of mine.”
“Hmm, goodnight...”
“Hey...” after a few more stirring in vain, they just sighed and let the youngest have it his way.
This is bad. Thought Belphegor. The annoyance he felt a while ago dissipates as fast as it builds up inside of him. Still, his heartbeats and head were in utter chaos, the time he held them so close. He said he’s returning to slumber, yet his heart showed no signs of ever slowing down. He bet they could hear it, but he have no more energy to even mind it. After all, amidst the chaos in him, could also feel he won’t be getting any nightmares right now.
“Say Belphegor. Do you have a fever? You’re hot and your heart’s beating a bit too fast.”
“Just tired from the extra work a while ago. I just need some rest.”
“If you say so...”
He could no longer deny this feeling inside him.
He… fell in love with a human. He found it, the peace to his raging storm. The salve to his wounds. But they can never be his solace.
He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. He lost his home. His freedom. He doesn’t have anything but his disgusting self, who could only obsess over keenly observing each and every move they make. Like a stalker. Like a creep. Like a predator eyeing its prey.
But they were never been his. And the day they learnt of his habit is the day they will be disgusted by him.
“Lucifer!” and the fact that they were attached to his eldest brother— the one who robbed him of his freedom once— didn’t help.
They would link arms around his. Heck, even snuggled to it as they do so, with that widest smile upon their face. The small giggles they give off as the abomination in the form of his brother praised them while petting them. Oh, how he wanted to just cut off that hand straying onto them! How dare he touch–
…them that might have already belonged to him, long before he could enter the picture…?
No. There's just no way that heartless brother of his to fall for a mere human. That brother who bowed down to a demon the day his sister died. And the human who taught him how to love again, to fall for Lucifer. That’s just… impossible… It’s just too cruel…
But I love them too! I can love them more than that fiend who chose a demon over his family!
“No, you’re much crueler…” He could hear the whispers at the back of his mind. “Have you forgotten what you did? You killed them. Do you think you have any rights to even lay a finger on them? You spiteful, wretched, monster…”
…Right… He has no rights to have them… He lost it before he could realize the weight of his actions… It was the painful truth. A punishment for a sinner like him. He could regret it until his last breath but he could never be forgiven.
He doesn't deserve to have a place in their heart. Never. Never…
The door to the twins’ room creaked open and he knew exactly whose footsteps it was without the need to look. “Belphegor, Lucifer gave me some sushi. You like this, right? Let’s eat it while it’s fresh.”
Lucifer again, huh...
“It’s yours. Eat it yourself.” There’s no more point in fighting a lost battle.
Let it grow, “Ehh? But you like—”
“Let’s stop this.” … or let it go.
“…Huh? Stop what?”
He also fears what he might do in the future due to this rotten affection of his. “Just as I thought, I couldn’t stand humans. You’re so naïve and trusting. I’m already fed up with dealing with your antics.”
“Wait, I don’t understand…” They asked, confusion and unease were all over their face.
“You don’t? Then let me explain in a way you’ll understand in that small, gullible brain of yours.” He took a deep breath. He needs to keep his cool or he will definitely break in front of them, “Everything is all an act. You thought I like being with you? Think again, fool. Having a human around me fills me with nothing but wrath and anger! Who do you cause my nightmares!? Your race disgusts me to death! Just looking at you makes me want to puke!”
“B-Belphegor… please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Kidding? Do I look like I’m joking?” he scoffed, holding back the pain clawing in his chest. “Be thankful for my brothers. If not because of them, you won’t be alive the second time, nor your ignorant race are.
“I won’t touch a hide of you or any human. So please, stop bothering me anymore.” being unable to stifle the emotions on the verge of bursting, he turned his back on the devastated human.
This is for the best. He’s back in his cage. Staring at the lacework of the long-lived spiders on the ceiling. He already witnessed its threads wear and replace countless of times. That might not even be the same spider he saw on his first night there. He could care less. After all, the only time he was truly curious of a being is when he met them.
How he wished the thread of his feelings were as flimsy as the spider’s. That way it’ll fall off over time. It can simply be cut off when it comes on his way.
“How I wished I didn’t meet you at all.” He knows it well. He is a big liar. In some way or another, just like the firstborn. But they deserve him more than his wretched self.
Lucifer, he was the morning star. The fact that both heaven and hell were captivated by his beauty and excellence. But Belphegor… he was nothing but a bleak abyss. He once dreamt of his brother’s greatness. Yet he couldn't be anything. He, miserable and empty, who only had nothing but guilt, regrets and a broken heart— as he watched them weep.
It’s been weeks since then. They never approached him like he said. Neither in the dining table nor classroom do they discern his presence. It was painful, but he can take it. The only unbearable one he felt is catching them cry— in Lucifer’s arms.
How long are they going to cry? Is it still because of him? No… This is for the best...
This is his atonement. His fate. He still couldn’t have anything, yet he already lost everything. His—
Lucifer… He is staring at him straight in the eye. I should leave.
But Belphegor couldn’t leave. Not after the eldest gave him that sly smirk. What does that mea…
Lucifer didn’t give him time to think. “Wha, Lucifer…?” Sound of confusion left their mouth as Lucifer grabbed their chin firmly between his index and thumb, with the menacing look on his face. “What are you—!”
And the gap between their faces disappeared. “Hmph!” The sight of the futile struggle of his beloved in the hands of the man he entrusted them to… made the youngest snap.
“LUCIFER!!!” His horns and tail materializing, he lunged towards him. His clenched fist flying in the air, aiming for his jaw. Yet, as if expecting it, Lucifer evade him, loosening his grip on the stunned human in the process. Belphegor saw this as a chance to pry them away from his brother’s hands, before jumping a few meters away from him.
“When are you going to learn to clean after your own mess, Belphegor?” As if the devious smirk were never been present on his face, Lucifer looked at them with his usual expression.
“What the hell?! You’re the one who assaulted them!!” He snarled like a wild animal, holding his treasure protectively from the threat.
“I didn’t do anything. Ask them yourself.”
“Ask? Do you think I’m blind?!” His stance became stiffer, fangs sheathed and glaring sharply at his brother, who is unfazed.
A light tug on his collar made his eyes soften, and caused him to realize his tight grip on them in which he loosen. “Are you hurt?”
“N-No… Lucifer’s saying the truth… He didn’t kiss me. I was just a bit confused he pressed his thumb over my lips.”
“.... What? Okay, but still—!”
“Do you think I’m a fool, Belphegor?” Lucifer cut him off, “I know what you’re planning. I'm already your brother for thousands of years.”
“...”
“Do you now understand the consequence of your foolish action? You left someone important to you in the care of others. But you didn’t think that sort of thing might actually happen?”
“But it’s you who they love!”
Lucifer’s frown deepens, “Even if it were some lesser demon they’re in love with, I bet you'll leave them in their care.”
“I...” He… Lucifer’s right… No one's more dangerous for them than himself.
Belphegor's horns and tail disappeared as he calms down, processing what his brother is saying.
“Everyone’s dangerous in Devildom, you fool. If you really are sorry for what you did, protect them instead.”
“Protect? But… But I...” Ignoring him, the eldest glanced at the person between the youngest’s arms.
“Do you already get what I’m saying Y/N?” They nod. “Not only are you both foolish and stubborn, but also blind. Now fix this yourselves. I’m done with your drama.” pinching the bridge of his nose, Lucifer left them in that awkward position without another word.
“...I’m really sorry. I was afraid to hurt you more than I already did.” After a moment of silence, Belphegor decided to break it first.
“You already did, you idiot.” Wiping the stray tears on their puffy eyes, Belphegor gave them a sad smile. “I guess I did.”
“But I still don’t think this is alright. Shouldn’t you be a bit more wary around me? I mean you already… died in my hands once.”
“You brat. Do you think I’d cry like that if I we’re okay with not being with you? I've never held a grudge against you in the first place.” They pout.
“Why? How can you forgive me that easily?” The demon frowns at them.
“Well, wouldn't life be more wonderful if we know how to forgive and forget?”
Frustrations were evident in his eyes, Belphegor's frown deepens. “That's not right… I killed you mercile—”
“Then shouldn't I be asking you? Why can't you forgive yourself?” He didn’t answer. Mistakes have already piled up as is.
Forgive himself? Why? Does he hate himself?
...Yes... I probably do... He loathed himself. terribly so... But they, who tasted the his abhorrence. He couldn't understand how they didn't.
“You want you to find happiness.” They cupped his disgruntled face in their palms, foreheads touching as they gave him comfort.
“I can’t.” with glassy eyes, he held a hand on his cheeks, “Not when you are my happiness. Not when you liked my brother.”
“You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.” their giggles were like music to his ears. Their orbs were like the placid sky set upon him. “You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.”
“I love you, idiot.” And their words, with no hint of doubt or hesitation, hit him like a surge. It made his feelings overflow, coursing throughout his entire body, and finally spilling on every corner of his eyes. It made him unable to speak. “I’m not even hoping for you to feel the same. I just wished to stay by your side… and for you to cherish yourself like how I’ve been to you.”
Belphegor felt so happy beyond words. Such indescribable feelings swirling inside him, one that he can’t put into words. With so much running inside his head, the only line he could form is… “Thank you.”
Weeping, but from so much joy this time, they huddled in each other's grasp, not caring of their setting, until their hearts finally felt whole again.
And after such a blissful moment, “...that’s it? No I love you too?” They spoke.
“What are you saying? I already said I love you.”
“No you didn’t. Saying I’m your happiness and confessing are separate things.” they frown at him, expecting.
“It’s the same.” Yet knowing how stubborn the demon is, the human raised their white flag, although disappointed.
“Okay, alright…” They sighed, wiping his eyes with a tear-stained handkerchief. “Why am I the one comforting you anyways? I’m the one crying because of you.”
Belphegor smiled mischievously, like he didn’t cry a while ago. “Because I’m the youngest.”
“Ugh, why did I fall for a spoiled brat?” Another sigh left them as they pulled him up, “Let's go, I’m sleepy.”
Yet as soon as he rose on his feet, he placed his arms on the back of their knees and shoulder blades to carry them, gaining a small yelp from them.
“Hey...” no protest managed to leave their lips as he sealed it with a chaste kiss. Probably not their first but it was the sweetest one. It only last a few seconds, but Belphegor knew fully well. This memory will last forever.
“I love you more, my solace.”
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seven-for-president · 7 years
Text
RFA(+V and Saeran) reacting to gamer!MC
_Yoosung_
° we all know that he is a gamer too
° so the more interesting question is, who is the better one?
° regarding LOLOL it´s a matter of fact that he won
° don´t mess with the No. 2 on the Shootingstar-Server
° but there are other games too
° so one day, you were tried of loosing to him, you decided to battle him in Mario Party
° yes MC is a Little Nintendo child
° you brought your Wii over to his place and by the time he noticed your presence you already finished plugging everything in
° “Hi MC why did you bring your Wii over?”
° “I´m tried of you always beating me so today we´ll Play a game of my choice.”
° before he could do or say anything else you already put the Controller inside of him
° he surrendered after only two minigames
° because he was only ever with mouse and keyboardhe was completly lost
° “MC, please let´s stop this.”
° “No, I are GOD!!!” Kira is that you?
° he was at the edge of tears
° “MC please. I admit I lost and you won but please stop being so scary!” ( ˃̩̩⌂˂̩̩ )
° yes, he was crying and yes, it was your fault
° great Job MC..
° “I´m glad you can admit a defeat, honey. I´m going to prepare dinner now. love you.”(´∀`)♡
° you left him Standing there looking like someone who got hit by a blue shell in Mario cart  」( ̄▽ ̄」)
_Jaehee_
° whenever she was away for work you felt lonly in the house
° well, someone has to earn money
° so you found yourself a hobby you could do from your couch
° you bought yourself a Playstation and a couple games
°  the games you enjoyed most were RPGs/JRPGs
° and this MC plays these games to 100%
° who?Me?
° but turning everything on ond off again was just tooo bothersome
° so why not play 24/7 instead?
° that also meant no sleep fro the time being
° Jaehee was away on a buisness trip with Jumin (the closest she´ll ever get to a vacation XD)
° you were at home, playing The Legends of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel
° btw I love that game
° when she returned you were fighting the last boss (for the 4th time or so)
° “MC, what are you doing there?”
° “Playing some games.”
° u don´t say MC
° “And for how Long have you been playing?”
° from your current state she could tell it was quite some time..
° “Dunno, wich day is it?”
° “DAY??!”
° “MC get off the Couch, under the shower and when you´re finished we talk about your game-addiction!” ༼ つ °  ʖ ° ༽つ
° that marked the endof your hobby and you had to find a new one (maybe like painting?)
° poor MC !! ( ≧Д≦)
_Zen_
° he often took you with him to his rehersals
° but since there wasn´t much to do for you, you had to find something to occupy yourself
° good thing you brought your Nintendo and a few games to play with you(*^▽^*)
° these were mostly Jump´n´Run but whatever
° but you were a very...... passionate player
° “You stupid Gumba, go die somwhere else!”
° “Bowser, you Bastard go fuck your turtle wife or something!”
° you were banned from the rehersal
° so what to do now?
° simple: go home, eat a snack and continue gaming
° I´m so proud of you MC!
° Zen´s rehersal took a lot longer than usual thanks to a certain someone, wich caused him to come back at 4AM
° he went into the bedroom only to be greeted by the dimm lights of your console
° “MC are you still playing those games?”
° “Yeah.”
° “Please go to bed and finish it tomorrow.”
° you did but this behaviour of yours stayed for the next few weeks
° get up at 12AM, game till 5AM and then sleep again
° simple life, no problems
° at some point Zen had enough of this
° but every time he took your game away from you, you had it back in no time
° he even went as far as asking Seven to hack that stupid Thing in order for you to stop
° but he said no (⌣_⌣”)
° so he did the last thinghe could think of and unleashed the BEAST
° he came in the bedroom to find you once again playing a game and cursing like hell
° oh, did I mention that he was naked?
° “MC, you have to choose now. me or the games?”
° “Zen, why do you say such stu-”
° you looked up
° then you threw your console away
° the beast won once again(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
_Jumin_
° at some point he gave in and admitted that it was kind of boring to just sit in the penthouse the whole day
° he let you bring your old X-Box over and you got your own playroom
° yes, playroom, with an X-Box XD
° but when he heard you complaining that there were games you couldn´t Play with the old one he got you a new one
° and a Playstation
° this room beacme your new favourite room besides the bedroom ( ° ʖ °)
° he was glad there was a Thing you enjoyed that much and if you gave even the smallest hint on wnating a new game...
° you got it 3 days before release
° but sooner or later he had to set an end to this
° more or less because you gave those games more attention than him
° when you didn´t evengreet him properly anymore and slept in this Rom he decided it had to be done sooner rather than later
° he was more clever than Zen and didn´t take your stuff away
° he was sneaky
° he was clever
° he was Jumin Han
° and this Jumin Han would make you yourself get tried of these games
° the more games you got, the less fun it was playing
° you played but didn´t felt this satisfying feeling anymore
° so you tryed something new: getting Jumin to play with you
° “Come on Jumin, just one round. Pleeeaaase!!”
° “Okay but than we´ll go to bed. Promise?”
° “Sure.”
° your smile already paid off the soon to be followed torture in his eyes
° you endedn up playing till 1 AM (・_・ヾ
° Jumin discoverd the joy of gamin and enden up int he same hell as you
° but he coulden´t skip wrk and you didn´t want to Play alone anymore
° you made an agreement: no more playing alone for the both of you
° mission succeded, well kinda
_Saeyoung/Seven_
° he didn´t play for fun
° he played to make little children Yoosung cry
° mostly aggro-kiddies in CS:Go
° one day you played a chilled Little round of CS:Go with your friends when you heard the two trigger words
° cyka blyat, rush B
° These words were enough to make you go in rage-mode
° you screamed the only Insults in russian that you knew as loud as you could into your headset
° if you want to know russian insults just google them xD
° after your screaming ended yuo heard somthing fall onto the ground
° it sounded like a human..
° “Seven are you okay?”
° “I am but please don´t scream like that in the microphone.”
° he got of the ground and sat down in his chair once again
° you wondered how loud you screamed that he even fell of the chair
° MC. please use your brain
° you turned around to leave the room and then you saw it
° right on his screen
° it looked like he was in the middle of a CS:Go game, nothing Special but then you saw with who he played
° “ Saeyoung....”
° he looked Kind of confused as if he asked himself what he did wrong this time
° “I brought out the trash, MC!”
° “The only trash to throw out is this cyka sitting infront of me!”
° he catched on, but unfortunately too slow
° “You know how much I hate these damn trolls who aren´t even from russian to begin with.All they ever want is to bother others!!”
° “MC, please calm down!”
° poor Seven, you kept lecturing him for about 2 hours ...
° but hey, after that you became the best troll-couple in every online game <3
_V_
° he didn´t care much about games
° mostly because he´s almost blind
° so he didn´t really cared either that you were a very passionate player
° what should he do against it anyway....
° he often sat beside you when you played another game and you kept telling him what happend
° “MC, why did you kill those harpys?”
° “Because they attacked me.” 
° “MC, why did you die?”
° Because I didn´t kill the harpys this time.”
° Mc, why-”
° you had enough of this
° a question every 5 seconds was just too much to handle for you
° think about her concentration V
° “V, please stop asking such obvious stuff. I can´t concentrate when you Keep distracting me.”
° “Oh, okay I´ll Keep quiet from now on.”
° he did
° for about 2 minutes than it started all again
° “MC, why did you kill them?”
° enough is enough
° you turned off everything and went to the kitchen to get something to drink
° “MC, why did you stop?”
° “Because I somehow lost the joy in playing.”
° thank you V
° from now on you only played when he wasn´t around which was almost never but still better than being bothered nonstop
_Saeran_
° since Seven had a far to big TV-Screen, why not enjoy your favourite game on it?
° soon you had plugged everything in and stared fascinated at the Screen
° on said Screen you saw the fictional love of your life : Geralt of Riva (●♡∀♡)
° pls Geralt marry me
° playing Witcher made you frget about time and simply enjoy a great game
° but you also forgot about the non-fictional love of your life: Saeran
° he didn´t like that suprise
° you promised to go and buy ice cream with him and now?
° all you cared about was the stupid game, where a man was riding some horse and killing Monsters
° you didn´t know he was watching you so Yous aid the words that led to your death sentence
° “Geralt, I love you!”
° “MC we have to talk !”
° fuck, he was here
° “Saeran, I didn´t know you were here..”
° he looked pissed
° really pissed
° “MC, first you forget our ice.cream date and then you just say I love You to a fictional character”
° “Saeran he is nothing more than that to me, fictional.Don´t take it like that you know you´re the only one for me.”
° “You know you have to make up for it right?”
° “I know.”
° so you payed for ice-cream and some snacks
° you had to take the console back to wherever it was before and apologized a million times to Saeran
° you were so exhauted at some point you just fell asleep on Saeran´s shoulder
° he wouldn´t admit it but as he heard you mumble something about him being the only one for you....
° he forgave you <3
That´s it for this one, I hope you love Geralt as much as I do and also enjoyed reading.  o(^▽^)o
If you did, leave alike or a comment, that makes me as happy as getting a shiny Mew XD
Also if you have some requests or whatever don´t hesitate and send it to me      o(≧∇≦o)
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