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restlessmaknae · 7 years

Text

One call away

Words: 6205

Genre: angst, drama, psychological

Main Characters: Kang Younghyun (Brian Kang from DAY6); Ryu Bora (OC)

Setting: suicide helpline AU, mental illnesses AU

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide, abuse, depression, self-harm, social phobia, mental illnesses

„Good evening, I’m Kang Younghyun from the Sarang-Jonhwa Hotline. Thank you so much for calling us. Everything we discuss during this call will be kept confidential. However, if it’s really necessary, we will involve authorities but that’s only in case of emergency. Please, don’t be afraid. I know it takes a lot of strength to reach out for help but you have to know that I am here for you. You are not alone. Please, tell me how you feel, so that I can help you.”

As simple as it sounds, this was the introduction that everyone at the counselling centre had to use in order to reassure the callers that they didn’t have to end their lives because there was hope.

Younghyun had a pretty hectic day, therefore he probably said the exact same words for the 15th times already. Yet, he would never stifle a yarn, neither would he rub his eyes. Most importantly, he would never neglect a call. Working for the suicide hotline for 3 years not only allowed him to save lives but to be more and more determinate to help people who were in need of emotional support. He knew from experience that people could easily reach the point in their lives when they couldn’t see a ray of light behind the pitch-black darkness, thus he felt as if it was his priority to guide them until they found it. Just like he had once started his life all over again from literally nothing, he knew that everyone was worthy of a happy life.

“I just want to die,” cried a subtle voice at the other side of the phone and Younghyun couldn’t help when his stomach churned with worry. He knew these words too well as he once used to say them like a mantra, carrying with him no matter where he went. A spike of sadness ran through him when he realised that the world hadn’t changed a single bit.

There was a chance that the girl might change her mind, so he didn’t call the police yet. They always waited for a minute or so to decide whether the case was so serious that the authorities had to be involved. For the time being, he didn’t even know where she was.

“Please, tell me what happened. I know it’s hard to speak about it but let me listen to your story,” he asked gently, making sure that the female wouldn’t get scared or even more anxious.

Sometimes, people hung up at this time because they became too terrified to continue talking with a stranger about their problems which they thought were minor and petty. However, Younghyun was aware of the fact that the call itself was the proof that major difficulties arose and the callers themselves wouldn’t think that anyone else could help, except a total stranger. On top of that, the call itself was the proof that they were remarkably strong for seeking help and admitting their hardships. He exactly knew how hard it was to dial the number and not hang up.

“I got my college entrance exam results today and I didn’t get a scholarship. Without the scholarship, I can’t pay for the tuition fees. That was my only chance to leave my father and now I can’t do that,” she hiccupped in between her tears and her voice was one of the most heart-wrenching symphonies he had ever heard. Just how the crying sound of the violin could send shivers down his spine, her voice also carried a gloomy air that chilled him to his bones. It was like the chilly wind that lingered around him on a cold winter day.

“You can still take the test next year. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you would like to do it for the second time,” he reminded her gently, making sure that his tone wasn’t abusive, nor intrusive.

“I can’t wait another year,” she screamed helplessly and burst into tears again.

Younghyun gulped. The harder part was still yet to come; the girl seemed like an easier case at first because she started talking right away but she didn’t give long enough answers for him to even guess what could really trigger her suicidal thoughts.

It was a well-known fact that Korea had the second-highest suicidal rate in the world, small wonder why he had heard several different reasons for suicide over the past few years. The most common ones were due to the poorly-funded social safety net among the elderly, unemployment, pressure on high school and college students because of the competitiveness of the education system and also the stigma that was attached to mental disorders. Koreans looked down on people who suffered from mental illnesses, it was a taboo even within family members. They usually told the sufferer to get over it and wait until things get better but the statistics showed that it only resulted in the rising number of suicides.

“Why do you say that you can’t wait another year? Is there something else that is bothering you?” Younghyun inquired tenderly while he was constantly tapping on his desk.

He had this overwhelming feeling whenever he talked to people because he wanted to help them as soon as possible and ask them the most important questions but if he did, nobody would want to share their thoughts with him. He had to help them slowly and patiently just like how you assist someone who had broken a leg and is now trying to walk again. First, they have to trust you, so that you can accompany them for their walks. After that, you can hold their hands and take the first step together but you can’t ask them to run a marathon right away.

“I can’t spend another year with my father!” the girl exclaimed vigorously. “He’s an alcoholic and whenever I don’t do something for him, he slaps me in the face or beats me until I pass out,” her voice trailed off at the end and her confession was followed by long seconds of silence. Unbreakable, impenetrable and invincible silence.

It took a while for him to realise that he found the situation odd because the female suddenly stopped crying. She was silent and it was far from that comfortable silence that lovers experienced when they believed that words didn’t mean a thing because they knew all too well that they loved each other. No, it was more like a deadly silence before a devastating storm.

Younghyun opened his mouth to say some reassuring words but the girl cut him off. His blood ran cold in an instant.

“I can’t spend another year with him! Either he kills me or I kill myself. I can’t take it anymore!” she let out a guttural cry which was nothing but brittle, agonizing and heart-wrenching. She was like an earthquake; she started off as something very innocent that could mean no harm but as she became more and more powerful, she started to destroy herself little by little.

He knew that it was his time to interfere; if he didn’t stop her now, he could never prevent her from ending her own life.

“No no no, please, listen to me! There’s always a way, we will find a way and I’ll make sure that−“ he besought hastily and almost stood up from his desk when the caller interrupted him.

“There’s no other way!” she bawled in tears again and stumbled on her words. He stiffened, it hurt to hear from such a young girl that she was certain that there was no other way to solve her problems than to end her own life. “People wouldn’t believe me. None of my teachers think that I have a problem and I’m too afraid to tell them. I’m also afraid that my father would punish me if I talked to anyone about what’s going on at home. Besides that, I have no friends, so who should I contact? No one cares about me!” she croaked but he heard some unmistakable noises, so he was quite certain that she was somewhere where cars were also present. He could easily see a scene in front of his eyes – a girl wandering on the streets, looking down at her old-worn shoes and talking on the phone, her eyes teary.

“That’s not true,” he shook his head fervently, although he knew that she couldn’t see him. He let out a brief sigh because he was on the right way. The girl was finally opening up, so the first crisis subsided. The more someone talked, the less likely it was that they wanted to commit what they had initially planned. People could be convinced once they realised that there was someone who was willing to listen to them, although it was their job in the first place.

“There are always people who are willing to help but sometimes they don’t think you need help because you don’t reach out for them. Have you tried talking to your mom for example?” he guessed cautiously because he hadn’t heard anything of her mother, so he assumed that there might be something going on with the other parent, too. He was right but not in a way that he had assumed.

“My mom died two years ago,” she mumbled quietly, her words were barely a whisper. Younghyun felt a pang in his chest every time he heard the word ‘mother’ because he never had a loving one. Her mother was still alive but she couldn’t care less whether he lived or died. Small wonder why he was a bit perplexed when it came to the mothers of the callers.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“I know my father is like that because he started drinking after she had died but he still doesn’t have the right to beat me! He should have found another way to get over her loss!” she complained wearily, the fathomless pain obvious in her tone.

The average person could have thought that she was being exaggerative and she couldn’t do anything but whine. On the other hand, as someone who worked at the hotline, he knew from experience that the sufferers never exaggerated. In fact, they usually didn’t tell anyone about their problems and that’s why their reactions were so raw.

“You are absolutely right! No human should ever harm another one on purpose, especially if it’s a loved one,” he hummed, nervously biting his lower lip. He knew they were nearing another crisis soon as the topic was highly sensitive. However, he tried his best to not trigger any suicidal thoughts. “I’m sure that you’ve already tried talking to him, so would you mind telling me how he responded?”

“He slapped me,” she answered dryly. There wasn’t a hint of emotion in her voice. She was absolutely and utterly lifeless like a mechanic robot. Younghyun knew this phase well; it was when the sufferers numbed all their feelings, so they wouldn’t feel even worse. He knew it all too well. “I tried to talk to him several times but beating is his only answer.”

“Nobody noticed your bruises?”

“I always wear baggy clothes, so no one could see them,” she responded and he could imagine her shaking in fear. “I’m ashamed of them because they show how weak I am and I don’t want anyone to pity me. My classmates bully me anyway, so why would I show my scars to them?” she croaked, her voice barely audible.

The pain stung him right at the heart. Hopelessness accompanied him for most part of his life, so he could easily relate to the girl whom he was talking. He used to feel worthless, he used to think that he was never good enough and nobody cared about him until he did the right thing and said the right words. Yet, when he made a mistake, everyone scolded him and he was punished. At times like this, depression engulfed his whole body and he was battling with own mind. He didn’t have the urge to live on, he merely wanted to die and disappear from the world.

“Your scars are indicators of your strength because they show that you are still able to fight. No matter how much pain you have to bear, you still wake up every single day, dress up, have breakfast and go on with your day. I know that your thoughts are screaming, I know that you are having a fight with yourself and it’s so hard to even wake up and start your day. So I can only say that you’re such a strong girl and you deserve help,” Younghyun reassured her but it was in vain. It’s true that she waited for some seconds to let herself process what she had just heard but after that, she became more depressed than before.

“See?” she asked agitatedly but didn’t let him add anything else to the discussion. “That’s why I don’t want to live anymore! I don’t want to wake up, I don’t want to dress up and be around people and act like nothing’s wrong. I don’t want to live my life, I hate it! I hate my father, I hate my classmates, I hate the world and I hate myself. There isn’t any reason for me to continue living!” she gave him a feeling of exasperation and he couldn’t prevent himself from thinking of the worst when he heard noises from the other side of the phone. He heard stretching sounds of a vehicle and it could be heard that the girl constantly hit something. It was probably a traffic light or some kind of a barrier.

Younghyun now needed plan B. He needed to distract her and surprise her with a question, so that she wouldn’t indulge in behaviours because her thoughts would be directed to a new topic. He was searching diligently for an appropriate one but because she didn’t say a lot, he couldn’t ask a personal one. Instead, he opted for the one that would change the way she saw the world she lived in.

“What was the thing that you loved the most when you spent time with your mother?” he broached it up, assuming that the girl had a heart-fluttering relationship with her mother. It was only a guess but it was still better than nothing. On top of that, it seemed to work because the peculiar noises immediately stopped.

“When I was younger, she always took me to the Dongjak Bridge and we would watch its illuminated lights, drinking banana milk and humming a song. It was just...” she pondered for a thought and let out an exasperated sigh. For a moment, he could detect a hint of delight in her voice but it eventually dissolved into sorrow. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for her to lose her mother and become a toy for his father but his heart went out to her. “It was perfect,” she cleared her throat, her words leaving her mouth like they wanted to crave themselves onto his skin.

He was pretty sure that he was on the right path because it was a moment of infinity. A moment when her life didn’t seem so bad anymore because she could think of joyful memories. Even though this particular memory involved her mother, she might have felt a bit better. After all, she was being reminded that she was loved.

However, despite he predicted that he was on the right path, it wasn’t exactly true because he heard another hitting and something inexplicable.

“But my mother is no longer here with us, so I really don’t have anything that would keep me to this world,” she cross-examined, the wind whistling through the phone. He already knew that she was out there on the streets but now he could also guess where exactly she was. “At least, I’ll meet her sooner.”

It was definitely a sign that Younghyun needed to take actions, so he got up from his desk, jotted down a location on a piece of paper and gave it to Minah who was in charge of notifying the police. Luckily, he had his own phone for work, so that he could use it when a crisis like this occurred and it didn’t prevent him for helping in person. After that, he made his way out of the building like it was a matter of life and death. The truth is, it really was a matter of life and death. The young girl’s life was in his hands and it seemed that only he was able to help her, so he couldn’t let her slip through his fingers. He wanted to save her. Not because she reminded him a bit of himself but also because she was worth it and she deserved a happy life, she just couldn’t see it.

“Where are you now?” he asked as he made his way through the opening door.

His question was followed by silence, not much to his surprise. He was almost sure that she wouldn’t blurt it out, so he had to test the waters and share his guess with her.

“Are you at Dongjak Bridge?” he furrowed his eyebrows in question while he was getting closer to the said bridge. As she didn’t protest, he was almost sure that he was right. A dozen of relief rushed through his whole body – at least, he had guessed it correctly and the location which he had jotted down on the paper wasn’t misleading. Actually, he was 90% sure that the girl was there because in the midst of darkness, people unconsciously tried to cling into the last bit of hope. It seemed that for the girl, it was her mother.

“I’ll get there as soon as possible.”

“No!” she resisted adamantly but her voice was more of a pray than a scolding. It was merely an act out of defence. “I’ll jump for real, you can’t stop me! Look, I’m just getting closer and closer to the barrier and−“

“What’s your dream?” he didn’t wait until she finished because he knew he must surprise her. For the time being, everything went as planned because she stayed silent for a moment but after some seconds, she sounded absolutely flabbergasted and her exclamation was truly one of a kind.

“What?”

“What’s your dream?” he smiled to himself. It was the first time since the start of the call when he could feel a bit at ease. It went well, he got the reaction he wanted, now it was time to motion her to talk more. At least, until he reached the bridge and indicated that there was someone who cared about her, enough to stand by her when she wanted to throw away her life. “It can be a profession, a trip, a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So what is your dream?” he repeated himself because there was force in repetition.

It was difficult to wait for her answer because the seconds went by so quickly and she still didn’t say a single word. Yet, she didn’t even hang up either. It took her almost a minute to gather up her courage and start speaking, no wonder why he already spotted a girl next to the Dongjak Bridge’s barrier. She was talking on the phone and while he was nearing her, he saw as her mouth shaped the words. When she spoke up, it moved exactly like he had heard from the other side of the phone.

“I would like to be an illustrator,” she admitted shyly, biting her lower lip in embarrassment. She still didn’t catch sight of him, so he decided to take his time. She didn’t seem like committing suicide in the near future, she merely rested her elbows on the metal, her eyes wandering far ahead. “I like to draw pictures that show a better world where there is no hate, no violence and no comparison. I know it sounds silly because such world doesn’t exist but I always find my sweet escape when I can draw and distract myself from my own problems,” she explained further and he gave her a brief nod, although she still didn’t see him.

The bridge was pretty abandoned, the two of them were the only souls in sight. It was usually a pretty crowded bridge but since it was past midnight, he wasn’t surprised that nobody was there, except the two of them. The girl with the suicidal thoughts and her hope at the other side of the phone.

“Why did you start drawing?” he took some steps closer and leaned against the barrier. He felt as if he was a sentimental boy watching his ex-girlfriend from afar and for a moment, he even forgot about the fact that he was currently doing his job and preventing her from committing suicide. For a moment, it seemed like a clip from a romantic movie. However, as that moment was dragged away by the elusive melody of the midnight air, his thoughts became clouded by his worry, rather than his curiosity.

“My mom was the one who used to colour with me all the time when I was little but eventually, she started working again and she worked so much that I barely saw her. Yet, when I drew, I felt as if she was with me and the thought made me feel less lonely,” she started nostalgically, her tone softer than ever. She relented and he couldn’t properly see her but he really hoped that she smiled a bit. He imagined her smiling and the scene invited his heart to an anxiety-filled but emotional waltz.

“But my dad wouldn’t like me to become an illustrator, so I even applied to study biology at the Seoul National University because he said so. After all, it wasn’t so bad because my knowledge was useful when I had to treat my scars,” she feigned a chuckle, making him feel more wrath towards his father than he already did. Maybe it was because he could correspond to her situation well but it really upset him that not only his father beat her but he also deprived her from her free will concerning her future. He knew how much he hated being like a criminal at his prison which he should have been calling home and acting as his parents wished him to do.

Small wonder why she wanted to break free in a way that no one would have guessed. Breaking free would mean getting rid of all of her problems and getting rid of her problems would seem possible if she ended her life. On the other hand, he was there to prove her wrong.

As Younghyun was watching the girl who was still fighting against her ambivalent emotions, she suddenly turned around and took notice of his presence. A siren broke the silence of the heavy midnight air, filling it up with a spike of hope. She didn’t seem to hear him as her eyes were glued on him and him only.

“Do you think that if he wasn’t with you, you would be able to make that dream come true?” he tilted his head in contemplation and took a step closer to her. When she didn’t budge, he took another and another until he was standing there, face-to-face with a living fallen angel. She seemed strong, invincible and inestimable but she was also broken, fragile and smitten. The pretty figure with the heart-shaped face, wavering lips and coal-black orbs was glowing but not like a fierce fireplace, more like a candle that was about to burn down.

She was so shocked that she literally froze on the spot. Depression took hold of her and that voice in her head probably convinced her that nobody cared about her, not even the guy who was on the phone because she wasn’t worthy of his attention, his care and his love. He was standing there to prove that she was wrong all along. That voice was lying to her and deceiving her that it would be best if she ended her own life.

“I am… you… how−“ she stuttered in confusion while he merely shrugged his shoulders.

“Dongjak Bridge,” he pointed to the sign with the bridge’s name on it, his eyes never leaving her face.

Luckily, he didn’t really have to take extreme actions and go to the scene by himself because the location was usually further away, so the police arrived there earlier than he could have. Yet, when he met the sufferers in real life and not through the phone, it was a bit odd because he only heard their voices and vice versa. Even though she didn’t look like she was suffering – except her eyes that could tell countless heart-wrenching stories -, he knew that she was. That was the problem with mental illnesses; people couldn’t see it until it started to eat up the person and suck the life out of them. The final battle was between life and death and when one was so devastated due to the constant lack of desire to live that they couldn’t even drag themselves to the battlefield, the illness was already mocking at their human fragility and guiding them to the afterlife.

“You see, I care about you,” he cleared his throat after a moment of silence and ended the call. He shoved his phone into his pocket, inwardly encourage her to do the same. When she emulated his action, he continued on. “I know that voice in your head is trying to tell you that you are not worthy of a happy life and it always brings up the most sorrowful memories but believe me, you are worth it and you deserve to be happy.”

“How do you know that?” she raised her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms in front of her. “People like you always say that but you know nothing at all,” she spluttered furiously.

The words bit into him because he wasn’t prepared for such an angry counter-attack. Not to mention that he was once of the same opinion and the thought left a bittersweet aftertaste every single them. Despite the fact that he became a counsellor at the hotline he had also called 3 years ago, he knew that not all of his co-workers spoke from experience. Nevertheless, it didn’t change their intentions and that was what really mattered.

Younghyun let out a heavy sigh and looked straight into her coal-black orbs. Her eyes were of the most magnificent black, hiding all the gloom and pain that was consuming her body. Her pain was like a castle that prevented the lost princess to get in contact with the world; people knew about it because there were signs that it was somewhere out there and it was real but one could never be brave enough to get to it and save her. On the other hand, it was all she could see every single day and she couldn’t escape because she was locked up inside.

“I’ve been dealing with depression and social phobia for almost all my life,” he admitted honestly, not making a fuss over his mental illness. He caught sight of the slight flinch on her face, so he assumed that she didn’t really see that coming. “I grew up in a family where perfection was the goal and since I could never achieve it, I always got punished. My father used to beat me, too, and when I had a bad grade, I didn’t get dinner, nor breakfast the following morning. I was told to get home and leave for school at certain times and my whole life was scheduled. I didn’t have a choice, I had to attend the extracurricular classes that my parents had chosen for me, I had to make friends with their friends’ children and I had to study well to be a lawyer like my father,” he added with a sad smile and tangled thoughts.

He felt the blood rushing through his veins, his heart strumming strongly as he was thinking of his 17-year-old self’s reflection in the mirror. His naked body was the pure, innocent and pale canvas for all those terrifyingly beautiful colours and their never-seen-before shades that engulfed the paper, slowly adding to the outcome that was the most heart-breaking of all paintings. He was truly a masterpiece but he wished he hadn’t been sacrificed for the sake of art.

“However, I was always a quiet and reserved kid, so I had an extremely difficult time following their rules. When depression really took hold of me, my punishments became more severe and the beatings more frequent. I had enough when my father beat me up until I had a broken rib and he still didn’t want me to go to the hospital. He said that I was exaggerating and there was nothing wrong with me,” he clenched his jaw at the sorrowful flashback. His story rendered the girl almost speechless, so he didn’t have to worry that she would ask him questions because he wasn’t sure that he could answer them without getting upset. It was a sensitive topic for him, one that he wasn’t ashamed of because he learned to love himself with all his visible and invisible scars but it was still quite hard to talk about his hardships. Yet, if it helped someone to see that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, he would be willing to share his obstacles with them.

“After that particular beating, I ran away from home because I wanted to end my life. I settled down in an abandoned warehouse where I started to cut myself and I didn’t even know why I got the idea but while I was bleeding, I dialled the hotline’s number and they literally saved my life,” Younghyun’s voice trailed off and he couldn’t help but look away as the memories were coming back to him, not little by little but all at once.

From time to time, he always had a little self-care time for himself when he could vent a bit, think about his past, present and future and analyse his feelings. It helped him a lot to overcome his depression, not to mention that he became emotionally stable thanks to his hard work. It was a thorny path with many obstacles and relapses but he could say that his life was a lot better and he was a lot better after 3 years. He still slipped into depressive behaviours sometimes and that voice was still living with him but he changed a lot. The voice got less and less noisy and the behaviours less and less frequent.

“How did you get over your suicidal thoughts?” she inquired, her voice barely audible. Younghyun averted his eyes back to the girl who couldn’t deny that tears began to well up at the corner of her eyes. He didn’t know if it was because she understood his pain or because she realised that she wanted to end her own life. Realization didn’t always hit the sufferers, not until they were really about to die.

“I got help from the hotline and they sent me to my aunt who was totally upset because of my parents’ behaviour. Of course, she didn’t know about their methods because they hid them well and I was afraid to tell anyone, just like you do,” he looked into her eyes in an attempt to reassure her that it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. Fear is one of the most common feelings, just some people wouldn’t like to admit it. “She treated me like her own son and I started my final year at a new school in Seoul. It took me a long time to get some friends but I still stay in contact with them. My parents had to settle the lawsuit, so they had to pay lots of money but after that, they wouldn’t dare to lay a hand on me. You know, it would harm their reputation,” he tried to flash her a friendly smile but to no avail. Her eyes were full of remorse; her tears painting little lines on her pale skin. Those tears were just like shooting stars – quick but oh so beautiful.

“But I’m… I’m really afraid,” the girl admitted as tears began to spill down her cheeks even more. Younghyun didn’t hesitate to take a step closer to her and wipe her tears with the back of his hand. It was the moment when he knew that he had done a good job because she wouldn’t want to commit suicide anymore. Telling someone about your inner feelings requires a lot of strength because you know that they will see your flaws. As a result, when you let them see your flaws, you trust them and that trust starts to build a connection between you two. When there’s a connection that keeps you to the ground – let it be love, friendship or mere care -, you have the will to live.

“It’s okay to be afraid. You are not weak because you are afraid. In fact, you are strong because you know that you are afraid and you admit it.”

“It doesn’t make it easier,” she sobbed helplessly. Without warning, he pulled her to his chest with a gentle grasp and after a moment of hesitation, she gave in and snuggled up to him. She cried continuously, letting the tears fall and wetting his shirt. He didn’t mind though. Until he could save a life, he couldn’t really mind. He knew that the hug might have been a bit risky and even trigger her but he wanted to help her so bad. Luckily, she didn’t show any sign of fear or resistance.

“It doesn’t make you less of a person if you have problems, let it be financial ones, mental illnesses or disabilities. It only indicates that you are human and being human is the only way you can achieve a happy life. Don’t forget that, alright?” he reassured her while drawing tiny circles on her back to soothe her nerves. She nodded and jumbled out some words which he assumed were:

“I won’t forget that.”

A siren could be heard from afar and as it was getting closer and closer, Younghyun knew that it was the one which he had been asking for. Yet, it seemed that they didn’t need them after all. He was enough by himself.

Ryu Bora was sent to the hospital for a medical check-up, just to make sure that her body was still functioning well despite the occasional beatings. It was obvious that she couldn’t live with her father any longer because of his unhealthy coping skills. Also, his father was sent to jail, so she couldn’t have stayed with him even if she had wanted to. After that, she was under her form teacher’s supervision until one of her mum’s friends decided to take care of her because she really didn’t have another suitable relative. Her grandparents were already died and she had no aunts, nor uncles. Not like she could complain because Mrs. Oh was one of the loveliest women she had ever met and she did her best to make her feel loved and wanted. She was like a second mother and Bora loved her with all her heart.

Three times a week, she had therapy sessions with a wonderful psychologist who helped her to overcome her depression. It took her over a year to regain her self-esteem and start participating in activities like average people would do − doing grocery shopping, watching a movie together with Mrs. Oh, socialising, taking up photography as a new hobby – but she was really on her road to recovery. Mrs. Oh said that she would pay her tuition fees because she saved up this money for her child but she never had one, so she could really afford it. However, she took her time and waited until the new semester before she actually gave it a try and started her university studies as an illustrator.

Younghyun was her constant support throughout her recovery journey, not to mention the fact that he was a living inspiration for her. He showed how life can be lived to the fullest after a mental illness and assisted her, whenever she had a bit of a downhill. They overcame many challenges together and she couldn’t even keep count of the times when they laughed or cried together. Tears and smiles were their companion but even though it was a challenging and on-going process, she wouldn’t want to change it for the world.

She wanted to live and have the happiest life ever, so that she can’t be the girl with the suicidal thoughts and he can’t be her hope at the other side of the phone.

She was now the soul with all its hidden treasures and invisible scars that he wished to explore and he was the painting with all those beautiful colours and never-seen-before shades that she was so eager to discover.

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