Les Amis as quotes from my friends and I (part two)

Bossuet: this isn't how I thought the night would go- nah, this is exactly how I thought the night would go

Grantaire: my mental health is once again unstable and spiraling :)

Enjolras: ok, but what if: eat the rich

Joly: NO WHAT THE FUCK YOURE GONNA DIE-

Combeferre: I swear, everyone in this room is gonna end up in the hospital

Bahorel: *shooting people with a nerf gun, screaming*

Courfeyrac: anyway, so im horny-

Gavroche: OH BOY, I HOPE I DONT WALK INTO ANYTHING THAT WILL SCAR ME FOR LIFE-

Marius: wait shit i just got roasted- *sobs*

Feuilly: im technically considered poor- *finger guns*

Jehan: flowers, because i am cripplingly mentally ill!

Cosette: am i the only mentally stable person here?

Epionne: i haven't smoked enough weed for this-

i know im screaming into the void here, but everyone on this site, apart from the beloved bastard mutuals and other gender critical/radfem people, is so fucking cowardly. you know that if by some miracle there was a shift in perception and people started disagreeing with self ID, if they saw it enough so that the posts in favor of gender criticism began to outnumber those against it, they would just follow suit and start to preach it, too. There’s no doubt in my mind because it’s not that they vehemently support trans people it’s that they don’t. fucking. think. They’re so mindless and spineless. 

making a whole post for the duos @darkgreenandbloodred sent me for my karaoke ask btw leah changed her profile picture i sat here for like thirty seconds trying to figure out who tf this was lmaoo

jolyferre (platonic): a very, very touching rendition of major tom by peter schilling i feel like the both go hard as FUCK so the harmonies are fucking AWFUL but theyre having a blast so whatever

jolyferre (romantic): disclaimer im not well versed in this ship so i may get the dynamic wrong but i feel like theyre awfully cheesy so they scream it must have been love by roxette at each other and joly probably cries

courfius: marius is so bad at karaoke. like awful. but god bless him he tries so courfeyrac makes sure their songs are easy (because while courf is a star and could easily smoke everyone he has to be mindful of his very incompetent boyfriend) so they stick to the classics and do dont go breaking my heart and its actually really sweet shut up

coureferre: theyre both competitive so they pick a solo song and try to outdo each other, so like imagine the glee version of dream on where neil patrick harris and matthew morrison and everyones like okay please stop climbing on shit WE GET IT

IM FINALLY HOME I CAN FINALLY SCREAM JOLY FUCKING SHIT MOTHER OF GOD SWEET JESUS FEAR LORD TAYLOR ALISON FREAKING SWIFT WHAT THE HECK

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

French Lullabies

Oh, Baby let me sing you french lullabies. I swear I can make them come out in clouds of lilac smoke. because darling I love you and I'll hide it if your scared, just please remember that I'm always right here by your side, forever waiting for you to be alright. my jolie fleur I'll always care so just know that a thousand suicides will never drive me from your side. And lovely I will sit mute for you on this floor, with open or closed door I don't care I'll never tell you that I want more. but sweetness if I could speak I'd tell you that I want to hold you Kate. your my universe tho so I'm down to give you space. now I'll leave you alone, I wont see you, hug you, kiss you, love you, not for a week or forever if that what you really want. and damn I know I've been selfish when your going through a lot, yet it spills from my head when your gone, like blood on the white carpet you left me to stain. how on earth did I do this without you here to make me laugh? you're not laughing anymore now it's only ticking, ticking do you miss me? because i really fucking miss you. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do, with these thoughts spilling from my mouth on to a page staining it like you stained my fucking hands when you touched me. L E A V E M E A L O N E please come back to me. these thoughts are eating echother like lowly leaves on a thinking tree and it just keeps on thinking, thinking, why won't you speak to me? im sitting right here outside the door we built together. and I listen to you scream those french lullabies we used to sing. and if you let me dear, we can scream together. so baby. let me scream you french lullabies, I swear I can make them come out in clouds of lilac smoke.

Les Mis 26/1/20 Zurich

HOOOOOOO boi lets do this. First of all, i didnt have the best seats so it was quite hard to differentiate between the amis but. I tried my best. 

Katie Hall as Fantine was amazing holy shit. She was so RAW.

There are so many skirmishes??? between songs?? I didnt know

Thenardiers were feral like. Who allowed that.

But lets come to the meat of the production. Or well, my personal highlights: my bOIS

Grantaire was drunk as fuck, he stumbled all over the place. During the Café scene he gave Marius a big ol smooch and fooled around with Joly. Very precious

Grantaire and Gavroche were soft af. So many hugs

Barnaby Hughes as Enjolras? Illegal. Too good

Yeeted Grantaire away after he tried to annoy him during the Café scene

I hate Marius but fuck he’s funny. Idk why but they made him hilarious.

yeets stone at Cosettes window, she comes out, hears him sing and goes back in “Im doing everything all wRONG”

Frances Mayli McCann as Eponine? precious. her accent was adorable

So, Act II killed me. I sobbed. Gavroche’s death is raw as fuck and i think my heart skipped a beat. He dies at the top of the barricade, falls into Enjolras’ arms. He then gives the body to Grantaire who lays him down and mourns. Looked like he gave him a lil kiss. RIP sweet baby

I forgot Drink with Me huh. Grantaire directed his “do you fear to die” at Joly, Jehan and Feuilly. Joly (or Jehan IM NOT SURE) looked like he was gonna deck him for it, had to be hold back to the others. R went to mooch in a corner with Gav hugging him.

WOMEN SO MANY LADIES. They fought!!! they left before the final battle but im just glad they let the ladies fight.

Grantaire was. so apathetic. He just watched his friends die. When Marius fell, he and Enjolras both run to help him, looked at each other and hugged. It was such a good, desperate hug. Enj fell quite early, waving the flag, body falling on the other side of the Barricade

Grantaire is the last one, he walks into gunfire with open arms.

Enj gets wheeled out on the cart after the barricade is cleaned out. Javert stops over the body of Gav for a bit before ordering him to be wheeled out as well.

JAVERTS SUICIDE WAS???? pain???? he scREAMED so much

During Turning all women brought out candles. One woman brought two, put them down and weeped quietly. 

Empty Chairs. All the amis came out. Walked to their own candle. Grantaire and Gavroche had the two candles. They all blow the candles out during the last chorus, walk out. Enj lingers a bit.

“this ones a queer, but what can u do” he points at one lad who goes “SHHHHH” and then does some flamboyant shit. Im pretty sure he was one of the amis actors.

Katie Hall bls give me wig back, i need it

Valjean hugged the bishop. My crops are watered. 

So all in all? Fantastic production, many chills. The programs were sold out so i guess i gotta order one. that sucks

Some people brought little kids which is weird cus kids dont speak english here.

hi im here to talk about exr star wars because i swear it is my favourite goddamn thing and i just wanna hear any and all headcanons u have..? ur writing is fucking amazing man i love it xx

i literally almost screamed when i got this ask tysm for taking the time to appreciate how goddamn good les mis and star wars are (also thank you!! so much!!! for the compliment!!! its been a long time since ive written not-engineering-grad-school things that it means a lot that you still like my creative writing things!!!!!)

anyway so this au started as kind of a joke but has since merged into something im actually invested in so if any of what i say contradicts other things ive said, please know the au is v fluid. im gonna put everything under a read more bc it might get a bit long

so R was a smuggler working in the outer rim prior to meeting enjolras. he didn’t agree with the empire, but he also sort of figured it wasn’t really his problem. he had never been able to get behind a cause, never been willing to risk his life for some greater good that probably wouldnt come anyway. he was a pretty decent pilot and was good at breaking the law for credits, so he never questioned the status quo.

he has a small crew consisting of bahorel and musichetta on their ship farouche (which like, i know the french doesnt super fit in with sw, but if all of the twileks on ryloth can have weird french accents, im gonna name r’s ship after the ‘be serious’ ‘i am wild’ exchange). bahorel was studying to go into interplanetary diplomacy before the empire started expanding into the outer rim. he ditched that and decided his skills would be better served elsewhere, falling in with grantaire easily. musichetta joined them soon after. her inn had been destroyed by a stormtrooper raid on her home planet Shili and she fled to the outer rim. she’s able to work with her hands and is decent with a blaster. 

they meet enjolras when a recon mission to mandalore goes sideways. enj, bossuet, and jehan had been looking to gather information on the empire’s movements in the area, but their ship had lost an engine on the way down and they needed a way off the planet after receiving the intel/stolen data from an informant on the surface. they cross paths in a cantina as the three of them attempt to find an escape route without alerting the empire’s troops. jehan makes contact with bahorel, who brings their group back to r and chetta. grantaire almost immediately gets into a fight with enjolras about duty to the galaxy, but they eventually do agree to payment in exchange for safe passage off of mandalore with the intel. 

shit goes sideways and the trip ends up taking a liiiiiiittle bit longer than anticipated as the empire realizes they’ve had a security breach, and after a few days of hiding out, they reach a safe spot where enj is able to convince the crew to join the alliance. or rather, grantaire realizes that bahorel and chetta are absolutely enamored by jehan and bossuet, respectively, and they both have their reasons to want to fight the empire. he agrees very begrudgingly, but part of him hopes that the alliance (namely, enjolras) is able to change his mind on the futility of the whole thing (spoiler alert: he does)

yikes okay this got really long and less headcanon-y than actual plot im v sorry oops uhhhhh just a brief breakdown of everything else i guess:

-courf is an ace pilot, leader of Red Squadron and super good at his job. he’s a commander. he joined the rebellion at a very young age along with ferre and enj (and hes definitely into combeferre, but they aren’t romantically involved…yet)

-combeferre is also a commander and a tactician. 

-joly works in medical. he was seriously injured early on in his tenure with the rebellion when trying to help those in his care during an evacuation, but was fitted with a cybernetic exoskeleton to allow him to walk. he’s dating bossuet 

-feuilly joined the alliance after his family was murdered for resisting empire occupation. he works as an engineer/tech person for the alliance

-eponine joined the alliance in order to protect her force sensitive siblings from her parents

-cosette is a jedi and jvj is her mentor. i dont know how they got to the alliance at this point lol

-general lamarque is a badass

-at some point e and r get married and lamarque officiates. its kind of a hastily put together ceremony, but its beautiful all the same

INTRODUCING…. me.

hey, babes !! my name’s dee, and i’m very new around here. i’m twenty-three, live in the est, and use she/her pronouns. i’m a moody aquarius, chaotic neutral, and infp for those of you that are into literally anything that will tell you about your personality like me. i’m legit so painfully shy but i’m so down for plots, threads, and ships of all kinds so please bring me whatever your little hearts desire !!! i’m so stoked to be here and write with y’all it’s INSANE, and my ims are ALWAYS open for screaming about plotting, sharing headcanons, or making friends !! i only have two triggers that i feel should be mentioned and those are anything involving heavily graphic or explicit mentions of self-harm or pedophilia. otherwise, i’m good to go but please let me know if i miss something and don’t tag or give a content warning for any of your triggers !!!

INTRODUCING…. the muses.

HEATHER VINCENT, phoebe tonkin, ( 26 ) + screwtape by cane hill.

JANIE FOLEY, holland roden, ( 21 ) + disco tits by tove lo.

CARCOSA LUSK, lucy hale, ( 23 ) + ain’t no grave by johnny cash.

MICKEY ST. CLAIR, lynn gunn, ( 24 ) + soon be gone by boots.

VERONICA ST. CLAIR, carlson young, ( 21 ), + hotter than hell by dua lipa.

EVE RAYNER, holland roden, ( 27 ), + when the levee breaks by led zeppelin.

VALERIA PADILLA, eiza gonzalez, ( 27 ), + down by stone temple pilots.

MOLLY STARRETT, madelaine petsch, ( 22 ), + ultraviolence by lana del rey.

BRITNEY STARRETT, katherine mcnamara, ( 20 ), + come as you are by nirvana.

NIKKI FREY, maggie lindemann, ( 19 ), + baby i’m dead inside by kopps.

INTRODUCING…. wanted plots.

oh wOW alright so i’m gonna be basic for a second and tell y’all that i fucking love angst. i mean, fluff’s great and all, but my heart truly lies with the gritty, toxic, dysfunctional, and fucked up. i’m also a huge fan of anything having to do with crime so if you ever wanna do any crime plots come my way !!!  it’s also no secret that i’m a very big fan of age gaps ( obvs not with minors because GROSS ). but seriously, give me everything. friends or exes or enemies to lovers, two toxic people that know they should walk away from each other but can’t live without the other, criminals on the run, any kind of criminal or bad influence with pure characters that have hearts made of gold, characters that go through something horrible together and become each other’s lifeline because they’re the only ones that understand, secret and / or taboo relationships, slowburn and unrequited love, exes that reconnect under literally any kind of circumstances, etc. i’ll link some good examples of my favorite plots so you can get a feel for what i’m describing !!!

x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x are all some ( hopefully ) pretty good examples !!

i’m also always down for plots away from the romantic side of things. i LOVE giving my characters ride or dies, enemies, exes, family, or anything else you can think of. the more unique the connection the better !! legit one of the best relationships i ever played out in an rp was between carcosa and another girl. totally platonic, but it was such a rich and fucked up dynamic that was full of toxicity and power struggles and manipulation and backstabbing, but also drunken benders and risky adventures and late night confessions, and those were easily some of the funnest threads and plotting sessions i’ve ever had. so please, like i said, give me all of the connections.

INTRODUCING…. the favorites.

i’m totally gonna break this down into quick lil sections because i have a lot of favorite things lmao so here you go !!!

SHIPS

tbh i have so many favorite crackships so pls don’t even get me started on those ?? but i love both f/f and m/f ships and have absolutely zero preference when it comes to which one we do. i’m also a huge fan of poly ships and i’ll never say no to having multiple ships/plots/threads with the same person. i’m very much a multi-ship kinda gal so as long as it’s cool with my writing partner(s) i tend to assume each ship is in it’s own little verse unless otherwise discussed. though i’m totally down for and love ic drama so don’t be afraid to approach me about ships existing in the same timeline !! i’m a fan of everything from the sickly sweet and fluffy to the fucked up, toxic, and angsty so just give me all of the ships because tbh i’m a slut for ‘em.

FACES

alright so some of my favorite faces to play are holland roden, lucy hale, phoebe tonkin, eiza gonzalez, madelaine petsch, katherine mcnamara, dove cameron, halsey, emma greenwell, maggie lindemann, emmy rossum, madison davenport, lynn gunn, vanessa morgan, carlson young, deborah ann woll, and maggie siff. some of my favorite ladies to play against are zoey deutch, lindsey morgan, kat graham, vanessa morgan, dua lipa, eliza taylor, adelaide kane, candice patton, dove cameron, arden cho, chloe bennet, vanessa hudgens, danielle campbell, ashley benson, margot robbie, blake lively, ginny gardner, angelina jolie, emeraude toubia, meghan markle, and zoe kravitz. some of my favorite fellas to play against are charlie hunnam, jon bernthal, dj cotrona, charles melton, manny montana, oscar isaac, andy biersack, andrew lincoln, chris evans, bob morley, garrett hedlund, tom hardy, jason momoa, tyler posey, michael b. jordan, frank grillo, jeffrey dean morgan, dom sherwood, jensen ackles, skeet ulrich, and froy gutierrez.

EXTRAS

 just for fun, here’s a mismatched list of some of my favorite things across the board !! snakes, glitter, the colors purple, teal, and black, dogs, iced coffee, horror movies, outlaw bikers, drag queens, classic rock, vinyl records, bath and body works, geodes, mexican food, pulp fiction, the moon and stars, tattoos, neon lights, iasip, succulents and cacti, richard siken, candles, myths and folklore, metallic lipstick, sons of anarchy, and concerts.

INTRODUCING…. future plans.

tbh i hope to get a lot of things out of this group. i’m hoping to find a safe space to let my creativity run wild and a home for my muses where they can constantly grow and develop through interactions with other characters, in-depth plots, and my own exploration the more i write with them. i’m also hoping this will be a good opportunity to make friends, since i’m very much a loner and some of the best people i’ve met have been through the world of roleplaying. i definitely want to push my muses and challenge myself to be a better writer here, and i hope to help out those of you that are seeking the same things in your journey !! i’m already planning on adding some more muses in the very near future ( because i have ZERO impulse control ), and as far as future plans for plots go i want EVERYTHING. romantic, enemies, exes, familial, platonic, and literally anything in between. i would definitely love some slowburn ships where our characters don’t just fall in love overnight. i’d also be so down for exploring the dynamics of age gap relationships. not just the taboo aspect of them but like the differences in generations, the potential repercussions, the ups and downs and the times where they’re not sure if they can make it work.

INTRODUCING…. why i said fuck it.

i mean who hasn’t felt like saying fuck it to the rpc ??? i’ve been rping for several years, about six of those years have been on tumblr and as much love as i can have for this community at times, most days it’s just fucking exhausting. i feel like it’s mostly become a very toxic, judgmental, and honestly shallow place. i hate the expectation groups put on members these days with activity checks and whatnot because honestly who even has the time to write every single day ????? or y’know sometimes we just don’t feel like it ?????? i know for me personally between my mental health and irl responsibilities i just don’t have the time or energy to be on every two days. and plus a lot of them are cliquey af or die in a week or are riddled with petty drama so i tend to avoid them altogether. i joined the indie community in hopes of rping on my terms and while i def feel like that was a step in the right direction, it’s still a very exclusive community at times and i’ve had difficulty fitting in. there’s still a lot of ugliness towards female ocs or muns that exclusively play females and tbh i’m over it ??? i decided to give this group a try because i love the idea of the indie format but in a group, making it easier to plot with people and put yourself out there. tl;dr i decided to say fuck it because the community’s gone downhill and i needed a change.

Do all evens!

1. selfie2. what would you name your future kids? Undecided??? I like the name Rayaan (not Ryan,, Rayaan which is the name of a river in the Islamic depiction of paradise) for boys? But undecided. 3. do you miss anyone?4. what are you looking forward to? Going home.5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?6. is it hard for you to get over someone? Surprisingly? Not really. 7. what was your life like last year?8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Yes, always when I’m on my period 9. who did you last see in person?10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really but it depends on who I’m with.11. are you listening to music right now?12. what is something you want right now? Not to fail my exams. Sushi.13. how do you feel right now?14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Yesterday. 15. personality description16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yes, many times. 17. opinion on insecurities.18. do you miss how things were a year ago? Not really. 2 years ago tho? Yes.19. have you ever been to New York?20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Yes I’m changing by tame impala21. age and birthday?22. description of crush. He’s very attractive all my friends are like damn girl good taste?? Curly dark hair and blue eyes. Pretty tall. Very artistic, he’s a photographer who’s well traveled because he wins in competitions that have travel ticket prizes. Likes physics god bless. Is Algerian and I love Algerian men. I have 0 chances with him though because he happens to be my brothers friend and his brother happens to be my brothers room mate and best friend. He probably has too much dignity to ever romance me lmao. 23. fear(s)24. height: 5'5925. role model26. idol(s) Harry styles is just very kind and takes such pride in being unique and just being himself? The rest of one direction too except maybe Liam and zayn no shade no tea I love them but they are dumb. Malala yousef is a girl who payed the ultimate price for peace without being a pacifist. Fatima bint Muhammed (the daughter of the final prophet in Islam and a woman nicknamed the most beautiful one with the most generous of hearts for how charitable she was). Fatima Al fihri (the woman who opened the first ever university) Asia imraat phiraon (the wife of the Pharoah in the Islamic telling of the story who was tortured endlessly but refused to give up what she believed in..her last words as she smiled in the face of death were ‘God build for me a house in your paradise’ and he gave her a castle instead). Mary mother of Jesus (in the Islamic telling of the story, of course the mother of Jesus who endured endless slander but stood firm and confident in the face of adversity. The only woman who served in the temple of Solomon despite the sexist views back in the day, a woman so highly revered that the Quran says she is favoured by God above all women). Rufaida Al Aslamia (the first nurse to ever perform surgery). Angelina Jolie. Galileo. Abraham. (In the Islamic telling of the story, I just greatly appreciate how when his dad shunned him he said 'may peace be upon you ill ask my lord to forgive you’. Also that man is iconic and basically created the 3 most major ideologies of today??). Jesus (in the Islamic and Christian telling of the story, this man is just a hipster who wants peace and love and hates hate. I love him) Muhammed Ibn Abdullah (aka?? The most iconic man to have ever lived?? My prophet??? I converted to Islam and I’m just really glad that we have this beautiful generous man as our final prophet)27. things i hate28. i’ll love you if… you’re easy to talk to and we vibe. Plus if you have gud food resources.29. favourite film(s)30. favourite tv show(s) The Simpsons. The office. Futurama. Seinfeld. Friends. Rick and morty. GOT. Monk. Dexter. Scream queens. AHS.31. 3 random facts32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Girls tbh. although I have guy friends too, girls just get me and I love us.33. something you want to learn34. most embarrassing moment my literal entire existence but my uncle caught me scratching my ass once at age 7. During my phallic stage I was caught by my brother being a weird kid in front of the mirror?? I leaned back from my school principal trying to kiss me on the cheek and she looked so offended. In a debate competition (which I won first place in muahaha) I accidentally said we should give bullies drugs in front of like a100 people. I laughed in a play and caused a domino effect. I’ve crashed into multiple glass doors with too many confidence. I’ve eaten chips laced with sewage water. I pretended i knew the lyrics to Hannah Montanas theme song so I could fit in with the Kool kidzz and got put on the spot only to sing 'you get the best of both worlds hottest nannaaananan’. I yelled at a bunch of Saudis a very racist slur (listen i was 11) and got a slap to the face in the middle of the supermarket. Got caught giving my friend a back massage in a shady place at school,, she was moaning,,,I was on top of her,,,you can guess what they assumed. Got caught pretending to be a worm with my best friend in the audio visual room?? We were acting out the worm kink fic. lucky me though, I have about 0 shame??? Like wow I have a pee problem that my teachers say I’m way too open about. When I went to the doctor and he expected me to be shy but I was like yeah man I piss a lot and nah it doesn’t burn my urethra,, he was very surprised at my lack of shame. So there’s that.35. favourite subject36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Live independently. Get a successful career. Do some research in my field 37. favourite actor/actress38. favourite comedian(s) fuck I do stand up so this is hard to narrow down. Louis Ck is a classic. Bo Burnham. Daniel Sloss. Russell Peters. David Chappell. Russell Howard. 39. favourite sport(s)40. favourite memory don’t really have one? Either playing in the snow in France? Visiting Disney for the first time? Playing with my brothers when our parents travelled? My first farawell party? Not sure tbh. 41. relationship status42. favourite book(s) A brief history of time. Energy the subtle concept. Astrophysics for people in a hurry. Everyday. Wonder. The complete works of Oscar Wilde. The Harry Potter series.43. favourite song ever44. age you get mistaken for: 22 lolol45. how you found out about your idol46. what my last text message says: my friend sent this 'My cousin’s aunts and grandma sent me a video where all of them talked to me personally in it and they reminded me of the memories we had and now im crying’47. turn ons48. turn offs: Loud eating. Loud breathing. Loud talking (even though it’s what I do). Talking over me. Being pompous. Being overly serious or stern. 49. where i want to be right now50. favourite picture of your idol. Can’t add that on phone.51. starsign52. something i’m talented at: I can sing (I’ve won a talent show!). I can draw although I’m not that great and it’s limited to Manga style drawings. I can write, specially targeted writing like articles and speeches. I can memorise things really fast bc eidetic memory so I’m always that fact bank my friends come to. Most importantly my number one talent is speaking. Sounds silly but talking is what I do best. Public speaking, stand up that makes people laugh and debates are always things I get first place in and it’s where I feel most confident in myself.53. 5 things that make me happy54. something thats worrying me at the moment: Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. My future. Exams.55. tumblr friends56. favourite food(s) sushi and burgers 57. favourite animal(s)58. description of my best friend: she is 5'3. Has chestnut coloured hair and brown eyes. She’s pretty. Very Palestinian. Very funny. Very hard working. Like insanely hard working. Like teachers tell her to chill hardworking. Weird. A great listener. Secretive but I appreciate that about her since I’m secretive too. 59. why i joined tumblr60. ask me anything you want: go for it. Thanks anon! Hope my embarrassing feats don’t make you unfollow me.

do you ever just feel so helplessly stuck in this era because i feel so out of place and i wanna scream like i don't know who the fuck any of the famous people are i don't know any of the tv shows i get so fed up reading magazines about stupid shit like who cares if fucking angelina jolie went to the ice cream shop because news flash im pretty sure nobody does and it's so terrible to feel like you don't belong anywhere ever and you get stares for dressing in the era you mentally live in but if you actually lived then it would just be another normal person and all the bands you like have broken up or they fucking DIED like dammit why does it have to be this way

all of them

omg ok 

1. What’s the most depressing movie you’ve watched?                                              I think I’d have to say Radio, but it wasn’t depressing like it puts you in a bad mood, it just brings out so much emotion and you really feel for the characters.

2. what’s the most disturbing movie you’ve watched?                                              River World. this movie fucked me up as a kid because it’s where I learned the concept of cheating (one of the characters cheats on her boyfriend) and 10 year old me just couldn’t fathom why anyone would do that

3. An actor/actress you’ve seen in more than 8 movies? Name the movies.         Angelina Jolie!! Mr. and Mrs. Smith; Maleficent; Salt; Girl, interrupted; The Laura Croft Movies, the Kung Fu Panda movies, and The Tourist. 

4. A film you could watch on repeat for the rest of your life?                                 Im not really sure about this one, I don’t think I love any movie enough to be able to watch it forever 

5. What’s the very first film you remember watching?                                                 probably the Aristocats or some other animated kids film. I remember we had so many movies in vhs 

6. A film you wish you hadn’t watched?                                                             American Battleship, The Human Centipede or Sharknado. They were all so stupid and I wasted my time watching them

7. A film you wish had a sequel?                                                                              I highkey loved Tangled and wish it had a sequel 

8. Which book would you like to see adapted into a film?                                     book to movie adaptations are usually shit tbh bUT if it were to be a very, very good adaptation, one so good it blessed your crops and fortunes and the love life of your 8th great grandchild, I think I would like to see the Graceling Trilogy made into movies. That and An Ember in the Ashes 

9. The most aesthetically pleasing movie you’ve ever watched?                           I have a lot more but the only one I could think about right now is Maleficent for some reason 

10. What’s your favourite movie director?                                                                    Steven Spielberg and James Cameron 100% 

11. Your favourite movie genre?                                                                             dystopian futures/fantasy worlds are my shit oh my god 

12. A movie that holds a special place in your heart?                                            Forest Gump and Radio                                                             

13. Your favourite comedy film?                                                                             Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. my dad and I have an inside joke about this movie which involves screaming at our legs 

14. A music video you would love to see developed into a film?                           I don’t really watch music videos, but one i saw recently that I liked was the one for Justin Bieber’s Let Me Love You. Im a ho for the partners in crime trope 

15 and 16 I already did

17. Which cinematic universe would you like to live in?                                         Catch me livin it up over in the Tangled universe 

18. What’s your favourite biopic?                                                                                I loved Catch Me If You Can 

19. Mainstream movies or indie movies?                                                               Both I guess, I don’t really mind 

20. Old movies or contemporary movies?                                                                both

21. A film with an amazing soundtrack?                                                                 Divergent had a really nice soundtrack actually