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#jiayun's ugly writing
kkl1nch0r · 8 months
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title: sealed with a kiss (jingyuan x gender neutral reader)
notes: ok but not me shapeshifting and writing hsr content that i barely have any comprehension of???hsr as a whole??? so i try my best when i write this stuff. help me. i had FUN WITH THIS. giggling and shit when i wrote this HAHAHAHA
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Fingers across a chessboard. The satisfied sigh from the general next to you. The rustling of the trees, their branches bearing the endless yellow that was nothing but background noise.
All of this came to your mind when you looked at the chessboard, locked in a battle of ecstasy and anticipation-- Jing Yuan, general of the Xianzhou Luofu, looking smug at the pieces. He's baited you into "sparring practice" with his disciple, yet Yanqing himself is nowhere to be seen.
The game seemed to be ending, and you bit back a gasp-- the pieces themselves had been in your victory, why had they turned against you now? Jing Yuan looked sincerely pleased, having beaten his accomplice at yet another round of chess.
"Checkmate," he calls, and you lean back, sighing. It was always like this: yours, defeated, and his, victorious. But you found yourself anticipating the general's genius moves, and had even sometimes put him in a position where it took several minutes for him to make his next move.
"Another round?" you asked, forgetting the "sparring practice." The pieces rearranged themselves back into place-- yours black, his white-- and stood right into rigid position.
"Why not?" Jing Yuan replied, fingers hovering idly over the pieces. He looked lost in thought: looking at the chessboard, mind straying somewhere else.
Then he smirked. And you knew.
"Let's make this a contest," he proposed casually, taking a piece and placing it one square unit forward. The soldier piece stood there, your eyes catching on it. "The winner gets to request whatever they wish from the loser."
Your heart caught in your chest. This was an opportunity that rarely came by; getting personal grants of request from the general was not common. You marveled at Jing Yuang's resolve, having said something so bold who held themselves in such high regard. A king against a pawn.
"Oh?" you asked. "And what limit may those requests have, if I ask?" "
Jing Yuan paused, eyes on the chess piece. You sat there in awe, remembering what he'd said to you days ago when you actually doing sparring practice.
"Eyes on the pawn, mind on the prize," he had said, smiling. "The prize would never know they're the prize, either."
Jing Yuan stared at you. You stared right back.
"Anything," the general said finally. "Free to request anything you wish. So, what is yours?"
You shrugged; it wasn't as if you were going to win-- but it was rather tempting, to request something the general could not grant.
Your mind whirred, thinking of all the possible things the general could not, would not, fulfill.
And you'd found just the thing.
"A kiss," you announced smugly, crossing your arms, then taking one of your chest pieces to mimic Jing Yuan's previous move. "If I win, you give me a kiss."
Jing Yuan froze, but then he regained composure before throwing back his head a bit and facing the sky. "Ha!"
You'd drawn a blank as to where you'd gone wrong as Jing Yuan laughed, wiping fake tears from his eyes. Then he was still, his eyes meeting yours-- for his oppressors, the look would have chilled them.
"That's funny," he said quietly. "Because that was exactly what I would request of you. Let's start."
You sat there, shell-shocked, as the general made his next move.
The next few minutes were tough. Every change you made to the chessboard reflected what was to come. Your mind incanted one word: kiss, kiss, kiss. It seemed to cloud your thoughts as the rest of the match flew by.
Jing Yuan huffed, but it confused you; you didn't know whether it was one of exasperation or complacency. A few pieces rolled off the board, followed by another, another, another...
It was a rough match; it seemed that you worked under pressure, and your moves perfectly opposed each of the generals... it was the final move, you were so close to victory, there were only a few pieces left, and...
"Checkmate."
But it was not you who said the word, it was Jing Yuan, and you sat there, in awe and in wonder...how had he dominated the chess game so quickly? You were stunned, as Jing Yuan sat across from you, eyeing the chess pieces like he'd fought well.
"Eyes on the pawn, mind on the prize," Jing Yuan said, extending a hand. "Good game."
Without thinking, you took his hand to shake it, but Jing Yuan yanked you in--
The kiss was something. Your mind had just drawn a blank, trapped in endless white space as Jing Yuan had placed his lips against yours. The only thing anchoring your consciousness was the intense pounding of your heart. You'd lost, and he won, and here was, doing what he'd requested, it was so--
Jing Yuan lost air first, as he pulled away, face smug. You exhaled, trying to calm yourself down, and sighed.
He'd kissed you. The general of the Xianzhou had kissed you. You yearned more, but that was...certainly something. Something no words could describe. Warm and stirring, perhaps?
There was a lot of steam to let out after that. Sword glittering at your hip, you unsheathed it, bringing the blade to the light.
"Care for some sparring practice?"
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kkl1nch0r · 5 months
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title: woes of an immortal (blade x gn!reader)
angst. this is angst guys. i was feeling emo. please don't come for my throat if your soul is shattered like mine was when I typed in the last words LOL!
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Since when did once an abomination seek and find its inner beauty?
Since when did a monster find their claws worthy and able to cradle the body of their dead love gently?
Since when did a beast, its fangs eternally stained with the slaughterous voices of its sin, bound and sliced cleanly from its vices, learn to find itself worthy of affection?
Blade was the first to be.
Once his weary eyes, deprived of desire, gazed into yours– the savage tamed by the saint– everything prior to his misery (as well the whole of his suffering) had been snuffed out. Much like the blowing out of a candle with its constant need to burn, all there was left was the stub of wax. Unhealed scars, bleeding wounds, a wailing soul.
I’ve changed, repeated the immortal abomination. I’ve changed.
You had held his cold cheek firmly and told him things you alone cannot remember– only a man who had lived so mundanely could recall the very words you had uttered.
But at the merciless hands of death, who can blame for one to forget? Even those who have lived with such purpose and ambition cannot remember every word they have spoken on their deathbed.
Your deathbed was his lap, your pillows were his trembling hands, and your last breath was just as shaking as his. Your vision faded, coming into focus to see blades ugly ass eye sigh this is shit
I bring misery, he says, his voice sounding like a cry heard from the other side of a wall. I have brought this upon you.
“Do not blame yourself,” you whisper, and he begins to cry– it's a mourning howl. He’s wailing; there are no signs of him stopping, as his tears come down upon your face like rain. A scarred, quivering hand clutches yours, and your heart breaks– as much as you wish to squeeze back reassuringly, there is no strength left in your body to reciprocate his gesture. No more energy to dispel his worries.
Blade tires himself out by crying; he lets out a choked sob, having lamented so hard his voice is broken, scattered like his essence. He had been begging for death just then; why did he wish for life now?
“Blade,” you whisper weakly, and it brings another wave of sobs. Blade doesn’t know he torments you with his sorrow. You lie in his arms helplessly as the man strangles himself with his cries.
Oh, it sounds so sad. So terrible, to know that you are about to pass on and he, immortal as he is, can do nothing about it– can do nothing about his death, nor yours, and can only watch as time flies by; to wait for a person who will never come back, nobody to answer his calls. Nobody to return to; nobody to look for in the bustling crowds of the Xianzhou.
Nobody to confide in, love, protect– Blade brings your hand to his lips– a gentle kiss placed on your knuckles as you manage a weak smile, lifting your hand to hold his cheek. He so desperately presses into your touch, tears trickling down his cheeks, barely able to hold back his grieving cries.
“You…” Swallowing thickly, you try to form a coherent sentence. “You haven’t changed.”
Not one bit? Blade asks sadly, pressing his lips against the palm of your hand. The shake of your head answers him, and Blade breathes in deeply, but it hitches, and he shakes with an effort to control his silent crying.
“Not one bit,” You reply with effort, and it's surprising how such a simple phrase seems to take the breath from you. Blade nods, and you exhale resignedly, bits of the world blurring into one. They say death is peaceful, but the man looking at you tells you otherwise.
“Remember me,” You say finally, and the last fragmented vision of Blade’s face blurs into nothing. Your body scatters, fading to ashes of what remains:
You are the ghost of a memory– sometimes Blade will see your figure standing in the midst of a parting crowd– there are times when you are there and moments when you aren’t. As Blade gazes at his empty, bloody hands, he begins to wonder if you were merely a fleeting dream.
But there is nothing he can do to change about it. And so his piercing wail reaches the sky, the rumble of thunder in the rushing of gray clouds, the rain purging the very essence of what made up just a fraction of his life.
Never has Blade felt so insignificant, as he recalls the words you had whispered once before.
I’ve changed, he’d repeat. I’ve changed.
You are just the same, you had said. When one’s life changes, the soul remains as is. You are better now– better, but just the same.
Blade kneels in the dirt.
Just the very same, Blade thinks, but without you, I feel truly different.
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kkl1nch0r · 8 months
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Title — mellifluous sorrow.
blade and gender-neutral reader
Notes: not a ship pairing + perceive how you want 👹(I'm just adding tags lol) this is angst. kinda. idk anymore. I was thinking of Blade suffering and like ("the voices THE VOICES") LMAOO... it's kinda messy. "they" refers to the voices in Blade's head because I like hc's and I don't like explaining them hahaha! 😍
ok and I wrote this without a piece of info about xianzhou luofu lore. I was gonna write this for Genshin as I usually do but Xiao ICK and Scaramouche ICK so I did this for Blade because it fits him and he's like hot so 🫶🫶 have fun reading(or crying idk I hate emotion)
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Through aimless wanderings a weathered soldier stops in the tracks of their bloody, heedless assault in the festering desire to feed himself with blood. Slaughter was weary, thick on his hands, but not unfamiliar– whispers of pain from fallen soldiers and haunting spirits dwelled in his heart, finding no rest, rising to nowhere but to torture the brain of the man that had vanquished them with so a touch.
Blade had never felt so lonely. So empty, for what he chased was a remnant of what used to be, the emotion he used to feel, the happiness he yearned to reach– yet the blind knows he will not see, nor the crazy man knows he will never face reality as he wishes.
They were quite loud today. It had been millennia since they had sought his attention, clamored for his pain, feeding on the thoughts that swirled emptily through him, as though Blade was bred for nothing but pain and blood slaughter, trapped hopelessly in a wheel that spun him over and over, agony to horror, horror to pain, pain to sadness, sadness to fury.
When will he close his eyes, and see nothing but blackness? When will the day come that he will find eternal rest, exempt from the endless tread of longing, treading slowly for a purpose, to fall in the arms of the dead like the others?
The other side was a side nobody wished to meet. It was the endpoint, the ending of all endings, the uncertainty that each mortal soul carried within their spirits. For Blade, it was not uncertainty, but certainty. The rest he will find and receive. The vengeance he will bestow in the otherworld, the afterlife, the act of living on, even if his physical body was no longer in contact with the essence of himself.
They were getting louder. They wanted him to jump off the precipice Blade looked down upon so forlornly, knowing he’d die another death and find himself waking again from a deep sleep. They’d laugh at his cry of anguish, and scream together with him. They’d start to poke at his soul, poking and prodding and poking again until they forced him upwards, coughing blood and spitting curses.
He’d then die from his afflictions from falling so high, staring at the blue sky that stared upon him insignificantly, closing his eyes, and hoping it would end.
Blade could crash and hit himself against a protruding rock, die from the hit and pure trauma to the head, or he could impale his body on the jagged, jutting rocks below– they were laughing again, laughing at his mind…he couldn’t take it anymore, falling upon the dirt, hands in his head, knees on the ground, he would die, he certainly would one day, but he’d hoped selfishly that it wouldn’t be so painful, painful, painful–
Begone.
Dissipating in the silence, the voices ebbed away, one by one, like people walking away from a crowd. Silence rang over where Blade stood, and his vision cleared, like droplets on glass.
Blade remembered hazily– he’d been taking a solitary stroll in the quietness of the XianZhou and collapsed from the heavy thoughts that plagued his mind…how peculiar.
There had been a voice that had granted him mercy from the distress he’d felt– a calming, trilling lull that helped him– no, how could it be?
His heart felt at peace. It was beating, just like any mortal would, but it beat with dutiful purpose. His mind was clear, so tranquil Blade was about to tell himself he was dreaming before he heard the beautiful plucking notes, reverberating from a Guzheng.
Someone was playing a song. Blade could feel the emotion emanating from these simple notes ringing in the emptiness of his beating heart. Normally, Blade would have snapped at those who wanted to help him, heal him from these wounds– but this wasn’t healing…instead, it seemed to calm his nerves, let his thoughts collect themselves without woe and guilt.
Emotion erupted from the Guzheng’s strings, plucked finely, each note resonating with the chords, singing a song that told a story Blade had picked up on A beating heart, a woeful founding of purpose, and the pleading of the singer who wished their heart would stop beating to find true peace.
It was as if somebody had taken all Blade’s emotions and channeled them into music, crying about his struggles and his resistance against death even though he could not fight– it was raw and emotional, but what mattered most was that it was a song about Blade himself, as he stood in silent awe, listening intently.
The song plucked its final tunes and ended, leaving Blade empty, yearning for more, as his heart returned to its mundane beating. He’d been so trapped in the clutches of the song that Blade did not notice the player of the Guzheng stood only a few feet away from him, looking at him with profound curiosity and sympathy Blade had never seen before.
He took one step, two steps…until he was no more a few feet away from the player, staring into the eyes that were yours, the musician that had reached deepest in his mind and pulled out a wailing beauty he’d never experienced hearing.
You didn’t flinch, nor back away, as you stared at him with another look in your eyes Blade knew well– loneliness. Your hands were placed idly on the instrument before you, as you took a breath to utter a greeting. A stranger whom you’d never known his sorrows, but sang of his grief, as if you were the personification of Blade’s very soul…
“...Hello.”
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kkl1nch0r · 1 year
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lover of somebody else.
summary:
as a colleague of kaveh, he has a crush on you.
little does he know, you have a crush on the grand scribe alhaitham..
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“Alhaitham.”
“Hm, what’s that?”
The word had slipped out of your mouth so easily it must have been water. It took a second to realise what you had uttered; the acting grand sage’s name of all things, without context or such. Shaking your head, you pointed to the piece of paper Kaveh had been spreading with his hands. The two of you were in Alhaitham’s house, planning for the new project to make more shelter in stormy weather. The storms in this season were no doubt going to knock down a few. “Nevermind that. The walls here are too short. You’ll need to extend them to actually give one leg space…”
The advice is gone from one ear to the other. Kaveh is listening attentively always, but when the words come out of your mouth, they drip like honey…the time stops.
“Kaveh?”
He jerks backward, then ahems. “Sorry…what?” He sighs when he sees your raised eyebrow. “Ugh…sorry. I just can’t focus for today. There’s so much going on, and–”
And I like you.
“–And this stress is really getting to me. Sorry, Y/N. I can stay later to get this done if you want.”
You reciprocate the sigh, erasing the smudges from Kaveh’s sketch. “I understand. There’s the grand sage, and there’s Azaar, and Alhaitham–” Again the word slips out of your mouth. Archons, was your mind made of the busy Acting Grand Sage himself?
“F…forget it, Kaveh. We’ll take a break. But I’ve heard ‘I can’t focus’ one too many times…is that your favorite phrase?” You ask, making a tease. 
Kaveh shakes his head seriously but grumbles to himself as you pass him to leave the room, patting his shoulder as you did so.
“You’ve just made my job become more troublesome…”
You hurriedly make your way out of the house before you head-slam a taller man teeming with anxiety and frustration. Glancing up, it was the Acting Grande Sage himself. In the flesh. Your heart drops, and the tension becomes almost electric.
Alhaitham pauses. “You’re…”
“...Colleague of Kaveh’s.” The words tumble; steadfast, uneven, erratic. You had no idea why your hands went slack. Or why your heart was beating so fast. A glimmering eye from Alhaitham makes all possible speech disappear, as you bow your head and position yourself sideways to leave his house.
As you reach Puspa Cafe, you hastily sit down at a table and cup your head in your hands, breathing out.
“It’s okay…It’s okay…”
You slump on the table, letting out another dramatic exhale. You close your eyes to gain stability, but no– the flashing images of the glimmering eye, his tall stature, and his deep voice just come to haunt you. You raise your head, frowning at the walls.
I have a crush on the Acting Grande Sage.
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kkl1nch0r · 1 year
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queen of the seas.
beidou x gn!reader, pirate au.
summary: as the pirate of the liyue seas, you wage war with beidou, to strike down the crux fleet.
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Beidou, captain of the Crux Fleet. Such a name inspired both awe and fear in its listeners; Defeater of the Beast Haishan, Queen of the Seas, the Legendary Captain of the Crux Fleet.
Small talk carried its title across Liyue– in secluded corners where criminals flourished, fleeting and flying– commoners, their hustling and bustling in Liyue Harbour almost never-ending; shopkeepers and traders, travelling on foot and mule; even the Liyue Qixing knew of her name.
Dawn broke, harbouring another busy day upon the city of contracts. It was yet another ordinary day, as people chatted idly in their stands, sellers yelling to attract customers; the customers themselves exchanging Mora and commerce, some chasing after their rowdy children. Some say Liyue is one of the busiest cities ever, from dawn to dusk.
Such busy crowds were parted, however; the smooth line of people traversing through the cobblestone streets, their pace leisurely and drawling; even from a glance, one could say the group of people exploring Liyue were not natives. They bore grim scowls as a mask for a face, ragged and jagged swords clipped at their shoulders, tied to their backs. Muscles rippled.
One could say they were a bunch of edgy people ready to pick a fight; another thought of them as lively rascals. One strolled with confidence, unwilling to face down. Heels clicked against stone, a crimson vision clipped to your waist as it swung officiously.
You were not rascals. You were pirates.
“Nobody said there could be two rulers of the seas, Y/N,” piped an eager pirate, his eyes glimmering with humour as he walked alongside you, short legs hurrying to keep pace with yours. “Soon, Beidou will be finished, and the throne of the ocean will rightfully belong to you.”
“May I ask what you mean by ‘finished?’” You inquired testily, eyes reciprocating the pirate’s joking intent.
“Well…”
The pirate was left to ponder his answer. You left him to ponder as deeply as he wanted, as the rest of the crew cut through the crowd sharply like a shark’s fin slicing the waves. The crew had stopped at the docks, their eyes squinting against the early sun.
You and the crew marched up intimidatingly to a fisherman, his fish simmering in the hot sun. He squinted, smiling, unfazed by the towering men and women surrounding your lean figure. “Ahoy there!” He greeted cheerfully. “Great day to purchase these fish. Would you like–”
“We’re not here for ya fish,” squawked one, his eyes narrowing. “We have a question.”
“Oh?” The fisherman asked.
“Do you know where Captain Beidou will be going today?” You questioned curiously. “Do you know where she is now?”
The fisherman gazed at the sea for a moment before nodding. “Ah, yes. Beidou. She left for Inazuma a few hours ago. She’ll be back, say, just before afternoon? The Crux Fleet is speedy when it comes to exports.”
“Alright. Thank you.” You tossed a few Mora in his direction to show gratitude, making way for the docks. You breathed deeply in the sea air, gazing downward at the sea foam, their sizzling noises whispering secrets and lies unknown. Up at the sky, a gull’s cries circled the clouds, casting shadows in the early morning sun.
You snapped your fingers.
Just as your fingers met, the noise echoed, sending a roar of waves racing for the docks, sloshing and hitting the weathered wood, their tops jagged like rocks, the colour of slate.
A ship enough to house a crew, its mast a grim grey and the hull carved that resembled that of a snake’s. Its sails flapped in the wind sharply at attention, and your crew whistled, the sight of a massive ship attracting many.
Your crew whooped and clapped like children witnessing a fireworks show; their gazes are bright and excited. “Just as expected as Captain!”
“I haven’t named it yet.” You boarded the ship with ease, the rest following hurriedly, confidently strutting on the wood, waving and whooping.
“Beidou, Captain of the Crux Fleet,” you murmured to yourself, setting sail towards Inazuma, where that may be. “I will crush you.”
The crew roared, their howls echoing in the whipping wind, jagged waves parting the seas for your departure.
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