#jeremy lefkowitz
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Young Trevor & Jeremy | Hello, Brother
↳ Requested by @lulu-cat-princess
#cbsghostsedit#useraudrey2#tuserkit#userbrina#userroh#userarrow#usersitcom#cbs ghosts#jeremy lefkowitz#trevor lefkowitz#s3#3x06#ours#by janie
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Not A Dog, Bro!
AO3
When Jeremy comes to visit, Trevor's desperate to keep him around and the episode ends a bit differently.
***
“You can’t just kick him out, Sam. Can’t he stay for a little while?” Trevor nearly pleads as they stand in the library where Sam, Jay, Hetty and Isaac are trying to figure out a way to get his brother to leave because he found a loophole with the points system.
“Trevor, we can’t have a freeloader living here for a year without us making any money. He’ll bleed us dry, and we don’t have the funds to keep us afloat,” Sam states.
“Come on, Sam, between the Ari blackmail, telling you about David and Kelsey, and earning you almost two hundred grand with Isaac’s money, can’t you just let him stay for me, please,” Trevor asks, attempting to give her his best puppy dog eyes.
“You have made us a lot of money, true,” Sam admits, “But he can’t stay for a year, Trevor.”
Okay, that’s fair. “Okay, but you don’t have to kick him out today, right? We can keep him for a month.”
“Not when we don’t have any other guests lined up for a while because of Carol’s death.”
Trevor used to be better at negotiations, but not when he’s at the disadvantage of not being alive. “We can afford to keep him for a week, right?”
“You make him sound like a puppy,” Sam states before taking a breath. “Fine, we can keep him for a week.”
“Yes!” Trevor yells, excitedly, doing his little T-Money thing as well.
He turns to leave and ignores Jay’s complaining about having a freeloader in their house for a week and still having to figure out how to get him to leave once the week is over because he’s got his brother for at least a week.
***
Trevor’s annoyed. It took all of a day before Sam went back on their deal about allowing Jeremy to stay for the week. Which results in Jay challenging Jeremy to a video game matchup that Jeremy should have no problem winning, but somehow is losing.
It’s right near the middle of the game when Jeremy asks, “How am I losing? This makes no sense.” He shakes his head. “Whatever. There's still time. Let's see how you like this.”
Somehow, Jay manages to block the play, again, causing both of them to yell, “Come on!”
Jeremy continues to say, “There's six plays. You pick mine every time.”
“I guess you're just really predictable,” Jay offers.
Jeremy’s shaking his head. “That's impossible. No one can guess right that many times.”
He’s right and that has Trevor looking around. “That is impossible. What's going on?” He looks from Hetty, who’s standing behind them to Sam, who passes on the play number to Jay. He stands up and stares at Hetty as he asks, “What the hell? Are you cheating?”
“No. I swear. I was just picking my nose,” Hetty denies, despite knowing she would never do that.
He scoffs, upset that she would do this to him even though they broke up. “I don't even think we have boogers. This stops now.” He covers Jeremy’s controller with his hands so that Hetty can’t see the play. “Good luck cheating now, cheaters.”
Jeremy’s waiting for Jay to pick a play, but he’s definitely not able to cheat now.
“Hey. You gonna pick a play?” Jeremy asks Jay.
“Yes, I am. I'm just... thinking.”
“Trevor, you stop this at once,” Hetty states, firmly, expecting him to cave.
Not this time.
“You can't make me.”
“But I can,” Isaac says as if sounding like he has any power over Trevor as he moves around Sam to face Trevor. “Pachycephalosaurus charge!”
He runs at Trevor, who struggles not to laugh as he simply moves out of the way.
Isaac seems surprised, and yells, “He moved?!! Not fair!” as he falls through the wall!
Trevor grins, ‘cause he wins. He looks from Hetty to Sam, “No more cheating.”
Jay’s frowning as Sam lets him in on it, quietly. “Oh, it’s just me now…”
“What?” Jeremy asks.
“Nothing.”
***
The game continues, fairly now, and Trevor’s surprised that Hetty’s really getting into it.
“Oh, my God, this is tense. Jay is up two points with one minute to go!”
“Is this more exciting than watching walking?” Trevor teases.
“It is debatable.”
“You know, I got to say, you gave me a pretty good scare there, Jay,” Jeremy offers because he’s at the point where he knows he’s going to win.
“It's not over,” Jay counters.
“Isn't it? All I got to do is get in field goal position, where I am automatic.”
Trevor grins, excitedly. “My little brother's about to wipe your butt. That's right, I'm sticking with it. I'm making it a thing.”
“You know, there was a minute there where I thought I was actually gonna have to take over my dad's company, but now I can just keep living here,” Jeremy says with glee.
Trevor frowns since Jay never followed up with the ‘fired’ thing, he’s got no idea what’s going on. “Wait, what? Sam, what's he talking about?”
“I thought you said you were fired?” Sam questions.
“Yeah. For refusing to take over his company. I think Lenny was just trying to motivate me or something.”
“I don't understand,” Trevor states because none of this is making sense. “Why wouldn't you want to take over the company?”
“You don't love the lighting business?” Sam asks, trying to act curious so that he can get answers. At least it’s less obvious that it’s for a ghost.
“Oh, no. I freaking love lights. When you find that perfect grouping and fill a room with that magical glow, it's a godlike feeling.”
“So, then what's the problem?”
“Because my dad's just doing it to be nice. I'm not cut out to run anything. Trevor was the one with the head for business. I'd probably just screw it up,” Jeremy states, plainly.
Trevor feels a wave of sympathy for his kid brother. He knows that he always looked up to Trevor, but he never thought that Trevor’s abilities with business would make Jeremy feel… inadequate. Even if he did know that their dad expected to hand the business over to Trevor since he was the oldest.
“No, you wouldn't. You're a smart kid. You learned your haftarah in, like, a week.”
He wishes that Jeremy could actually hear him, see him, know that Trevor believes in him.
The moment is interrupted by Isaac storming into the room.
“That was an exterior wall. I fell two stories. I mean, I know we can't get hurt, but why didn't anyone come looking for me?” he pants. “What'd I miss?”
Clearly deciding that he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore since there’s no forthcoming support from Sam or Jay, Jeremy says, “All right, ten seconds to go. Time to kick this field goal and end it.”
Trevor, though, can’t let his brother continuing hiding here when he would be a great business owner. So, he needs to help Jay win (even if Jay hurts him).
“No. It's time for you to grow up, little brother,” Trevor states, even though he can’t hear him. Then, groaning, he licks his finger and gives his brother a wet willy just in time.
“No!” Jeremy yells.
“I won!” Jay yells.
There’s cheering from Hetty and Sam, while Isaac yells, “Huzzah!”
Jeremy is shaking his head. “What the hell just happened?”
“Your big brother just shoved you out of the nest,” Trevor states. Then he does a little small T-money sign. “T-Money.”
Sam’s grinning at him. “Nice work, Trevor.”
Everyone looks at her and she tries to cover, “Is what I would say if Jay's name were Trevor, which is a name that we've discussed a lot this weekend, hence the mix-up.”
Jeremy’s shaking his head. “No, no, I don’t believe it. Trevor’s here, isn’t he? And you can see him, can’t you?”
Trevor’s looking at Sam, confused and uncertain about what she’s going to do in this situation.
“I – why – why would you think that?”
“Well, for one, you’ve talked about Trevor a lot – you literally just said ‘nice work, Trevor’ a minute ago. For another, you’re always looking at areas where there’s no one, but as if someone spoke to you, like earlier when you looked above you when Jay and I were plotting our game. At that same time, there was a dinosaur book that was on the front desk facing away from you and yet, you were pulling the parts of it and flipping the pages. And of course, the wet willy I just got which makes no sense unless it was Trevor, the way you didn’t immediately deny it and… should I get into the strange things that happened last year?”
Throughout his entirety of laying it all out there, Trevor’s gotten more impressed with Jeremy and Sam’s looking more and more caught and appalled.
“Just say, yes, Sam,” Trevor states. “It’s obvious. Please say yes so that I can talk to him.”
Sam shakes her head and says, “Yes, you – you are absolutely right.”
“I KNEW it! I mean – I didn’t exactly know because I didn’t really believe in ghosts, but my parents were talking about how Trevor thought the divorce was his fault and how weird it was at the end there, and – yeah, anyway – so ghosts are real – and Trevor’s here?”
Jeremy’s so excited and so’s Trevor, and Sam’s just like resigned. “Yes, Trevor’s very much here. Has been here all along. And last year, we tried to get your parents back together because he was upset about the divorce and I said what I said because he was so sad… and anyway, he’s been very happy to have you here and really, really wanted you to stay – he kept asking if we could keep you –”
“What? I’m not a dog, bro,” Jeremy says to Trevor. Clearly, following Sam’s eyes to where Trevor’s standing.
“I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”
Sam rolls her eyes. “Yeah, he didn’t mean it to come out that way, but it did.”
“Now that he knows, even though he’s going to leave – we can still keep him this week, right?” Trevor asks, giving his best puppy dog pleading look.
“As long as you don’t put me in the middle of any butt or boobs conversation, we can keep him this week,” Sam says, relenting.
“But I won,” Jay mumbles, as Jeremy says, “Again, not a dog, bro. And what’s going on?”
Trevor does his little T-Money thing as Sam explains, “Your brother kind of invested some money in the stock market and made us some money, that and the David thing and the Ari thing… he asked if you could stay for free this week and well, it’s… fair. He’s probably made us the most money even though I really prefer if he’d stop getting into our accounts and doing things that could’ve gone poorly for us.”
Jeremy is staring at her uncertainly. “I have so many questions.”
“Well, why don’t we sit down, and I’ll answer them.”
***
Eventually, Sam did tire of being the interpreter after explaining the long stories of what actually happened to Trevor, Sam’s fall, the Ari thing, the memorial, the David thing, and what had been going on so far. Since Trevor has gotten better with his power, they gave him the iPad so that he and Jeremy could still chat without her.
He tells him some of the ghosts’ stories and Jeremy fills him in on life without Trevor. It’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming that Jeremy missed him as much as Trevor missed Jeremy. But the important thing was that he could now talk to Jeremy whenever he wanted and now, he could tell him that he would be a fantastic leader of their dad’s company.
I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t good enough, Jdog. You were always great, and you’ll be amazing. Dad wouldn’t give it to you just ‘cause I died.
Jeremy nods. “I get that now. I think I’ve always just been afraid. You were a lot to live up to – even when you were gone. I figured it was better not try.”
Every time I think about my death, I always thought I was dumb but at least it was just me that was affected – aside from you all losing me. Figured you’d move on and be fine…
“Yeah, I mean – it was not knowing. If we’d known all along – by the way, I’m totally going to go off on Ari now. And you can’t stop me. I always hated that guy.”
I would defend him, but Sass is glaring me at me for even thinking about it.
Jeremy laughs and shakes his head. “Nice to know you’re at least not alone here. And yeah, he is the reason that we didn’t know you were officially dead for ages, so… yeah, I’m gonna go after him. He was always an asshat anyway.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, at least, it’s not too late.
“Exactly. It’s not too late. Anyway, at least now we have answers.”
Yeah, you do.
***
The week flies by given all of the things that they have to catch up on, but as Jeremy packs his car, he promises, “Don’t worry, we’ll still talk, and I’ll come back and visit soon.”
Trevor smiles. “Yeah, we will. Sam promises to let me have access to the iPad.”
“I didn’t actually do that at all,” Sam states, and at Jeremy’s confused face says, “But I will promise now that you can have access to the iPad as long as you don’t try to cat-phish anyone.”
“I never technically tried to cat-phish, it just kind of happened…”
“You still tried to sleep with Bela as a ghost!”
“But she KNEW I was a ghost – so, again, not cat-phishing! Besides, she liked me, too.”
“That’s not the point, Trevor!”
“You’re ruining a goodbye moment.”
She rolls her eyes and says, “Anyway. Yeah, he’ll be able to chat with you and your parents and you’re welcome to come back as long as you intend to pay next time.”
Jeremy grins. “I promise that I won’t pull any scams next time I visit, but since Trevor did save your business more than once, maybe you should a) consider asking for his advice because he’s pretty business savvy, and b) buy him an actual bed.”
Sam looks from him to Trevor.
“I didn’t ask him to say that, I swear!”
“Uh-huh, I totally believe you.” She turns back to Jeremy. “You make a good point whether or not he put you up to saying that. I’ll think about it.”
“Good, well,” he sighs. “It’s time to go.”
“You’ll do great, Jdog.”
Sam repeats what he says, and Jeremy smiles. “Thanks, Bro. Talk soon.”
“Promise. Goodbye baby bro!”
Jeremy laughs. “Bye, bro.”
With that, he gets in the car and takes off. Trevor knows that he can’t be seen, but he waves anyway, feeling a lot better than he did when his parents left last year. At least he can talk to them now, that’s far better than most of the other ghosts.
It’s perfect ending to his brother’s visit.
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It's A Twin Thing - Ch 5
The twins' birthday starts with some interesting revelations, meanwhile Hetty worries that Jeremy's visit may get Trevor sucked off.
AO3
***
They spent the whole night talking about each sketch with Trevor asking about the various dreams that he can remember and Jeremy taking the sketches out and making a timeline with them (since he didn’t always dream or remember them in order).
The result is that when they wake the next morning, it’s to ghosts and living alike entering the room (since the door was open) to drawings everywhere and Trevor and Jeremy asleep in the mess of drawings.
“What is all of this?” Jay asks, as he picks up a drawing of the ghosts at the dinner party and the one of Trevor’s slow clap.
“Oh, those are drawings – of Trevor’s time here,” Jeremy offers as he goes to collect them, again, when Jay picks up a notebook – one that worked as a flip book from Elias going to hell. He could flip through it and see Elias disappearing, the ghosts reacting and Hetty trying to send Trevor to hell and his reaction.
“This is so cool – check this out, babe, it’s a flip book,” Jay says, showing it Sam.
“Isn’t this when Hetty tried to send you to hell?”
“Yes, it was.” He gives Jeremy a look. “You really had to capture that one?”
“I dreamed about it for weeks, so yes.”
Trevor rolls his eyes. He knows Jeremy probably dreamed about it because Trevor kept having nightmares that it worked, and he’d wake up in hell. He didn’t like sleeping alone because of it, so Flower had let him share with her until they wore off, luckily, they had worn off by the time they had to ‘bunk up’. The comfort of sleeping next to someone had made him ache for more, hence trying to convince Hetty to stay for pillow talk once they got together. Honestly, he had spent a lot of time avoiding her after that until what happened with Ari happened, and finally felt accepted by her.
“I still can’t believe your girlfriend once tried to send you to hell and yet…” Jeremy teases.
“I did not actually think it would work,” Hetty huffs, as the ghosts that didn’t realize they were still dating act surprised. “And I have since apologized.”
“You two got back together?” Isaac questions, surprise evident on his face.
“They never broke up,” Flower says, cheerfully. “Am I the only one that pays attention?”
“You don’t pay attention to anything,” Isaac retorts.
“Then you must be more oblivious than I am – I mean, ever since the almost banished thing and the conjugal visits question – you didn’t notice that they’re always by each other or that Hetty’s been holding onto him rather than you or that whenever one’s missing so is the other?”
Trevor frowns, “We’ve been terrible at hiding this.”
“Wait, wait, wait – almost banished? Conjugal visits? How did I miss this?” Sam questions, before realizing that she probably doesn’t want to know and says, “Wait, don’t wait – I don’t want to know.”
“I want to know,” Jay complains. “I should really be allowed to see them.”
“I just don’t understand,” Isaac says. “I thought you decided that you weren’t meant to be after the disastrous tea date?”
“You mean this one?” Jeremy asks, picking up another sketch. “And they didn’t actually break up – they just pretended to. See?”
He gestures at a few different drawings of the fight (with speech bubbles) and them meeting up in the room to kiss moments later.
“Damn it, Sass, you’re really slipping now,” Sass mutters. “It’s such a dumb plan, I should’ve noticed!”
“Obviously, it was a smart plan because none of you noticed except Flower – why are you all in here anyway? You don’t usually storm the guest rooms,” Trevor states, somewhat disgruntled.
“Oh! We got distracted,” Sam states. “Apparently, your phone died and when didn’t answer your mom called – something about wanting to make sure you were alright on your birthday.” She hands the phone to Jeremy, as she says, “You didn’t tell us today was your birthday?”
“Ghosts don’t celebrate birthdays.”
“You’re celebrating this one,” Jeremy states, before saying, “hi, mom,” into the phone.
“We’ll leave you two alone,” Sam offers.
“Can I take some of these downstairs to look through?” Jay asks, and Jeremy nods.
Most of the ghosts leave the room as Jay and Sam collect the drawings, except that Hetty is looking on uncertainly, as if she wants to join them, but before either he or her could offer or ask to stay, Isaac takes her by the arm, evidently insistent that they talk about the revelation that she and Trevor ‘fake broke up’ three months ago.
He doesn’t stop her from leaving with Isaac, as he wouldn’t want to get in the way, and within a minute, Jay and Sam bow out, too, leaving the brothers alone.
Jeremy puts the phone on speaker. “I know you can’t hear him, but he’s here.”
“Hi boys. Happy birthday.”
“Thanks,” Jeremy says. “Sorry, my phone died, we were kind of up all night talking.”
“As if that’s the only reason your phone died – your phone was always dead because you hated technology.”
“I’ll have you know I’m much better about it now.”
“No, he’s not,” Esther says. “But he tries. Although I assumed that it was probably something to do with the two of you catching up.”
“I only try because the last thing I’d want is …”
“A repeat of me – you know, not knowing what happened?” Trevor guesses. “That would never happen.”
“You don’t know that. I could’ve easily overdosed –”
“You’ve never done drugs in your life.”
“Well, I could’ve done something else stupid.”
“You’re not the stupid one, J.”
“You’re not stupid, you’re just reckless.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Of course there is.”
Trevor huffs. “I put two pills together to make green after drinking and doing coke that’s pretty stupid.”
“It wasn’t stupid because it wasn’t any different from your other parties, which you survived.”
“That’s the point, I was in danger of dying every time I did one of those parties… you wouldn’t be in danger of anything.”
“Not true – technically, I could die like Thor or Pete or Alberta or Flower …”
“You’re not dumb enough to hug a bear.”
“Okay, the bear one is unlikely.”
“You’re also unlikely to die by an arrow.”
“Okay, yes, the arrow is unlikely as well, but…”
“And you don’t drink and getting struck by lightning is like one in a million.”
“Okay so those accidents are unlikely – well, Alberta was murdered, but some other accident COULD happen. Sam almost died here, too.”
“That was my fault. I wanted to beat the vase.”
“I know, but the point stands.”
“Fine – I can see why mom would be worried and why you would try harder to keep your phone charged, but that means that you’re kind of a jerk for not charging your phone just in case.”
“I’m not a jerk because I was distracted by you and let my phone die – you could’ve reminded me.”
“Why would I remember? I can’t use a phone.”
“Not true – if you can use an iPad, you can use a phone.”
“But I wouldn’t be able to charge the phone – so the point stands.”
“That’s not the point – you always remember things I should be doing –”
“BOYS! You’ve been together for a day and you’re arguing about phone charging? And whether or not Jeremy could spontaneously die like Trevor? Why are you putting me through that on your birthday? Why?”
“Sorry, mom.”
They share a guilty look.
“We weren’t really thinking,” Jeremy states. Sometimes, it’s hard for him to remember that she struggles as much as he does with the loss of Trevor, especially since she can’t hear him right now. “But we’ll stop that for now.”
“Good because knowing that Trevor’s up there, does make me a little nervous and –”
Trevor grimaces. “Maybe…”
“No, I didn’t finally get the courage to visit just to leave so suddenly. Besides, I want to get to know your girlfriend.”
“Don’t worry about my nerves, Trevor. I want you boys to enjoy some time together.” She pauses. “How did you find a girlfriend in the afterlife?”
“She’s been here for a while – she’s actually the Lady of the House – the dead one anyway.”
“Wow, J,” Trevor states.
“And it’s a long story, but they got together on the 26th of December.”
“Oh, that’s so nice. I’m happy for you – not really surprised, I’m guessing it’s the one with the floofy dress?”
“How’d you know?” Trevor asks, before realizing that his mother can’t hear him.
“Because she’s featured in more and more of my drawings – and even though there’s some I haven’t shown mom –”
“Oy vey – ones where…”
“Yeah, I can’t really control my dreams and visuals. Wish I could, though.”
“Has it been – no, you know what…”
“It’s nothing too – inappropriate but I figured…”
“Still here, boys. In case you’ve forgotten. What’s her name?”
“Hetty Woodstone.”
“Does that mean she’s a relative of the weird woman that owns the B&B?”
“Sam and David, yes.”
“Wait, she’s related to your friend, David?”
“Yeah, she’s his great-great-great-grandmother – did you know he died at a strip club? Sam wouldn’t tell me how.”
“He’s a ghost at a strip club? Wow.”
“Who’s a ghost, where?”
“David – Trevor’s friend. Although some friend he is throwing your body in the lake – is Hetty’s great-great-great grandson and he died at a strip club. Fitting for that idiot.”
“He’s not that bad!”
“Do I need to repeat that he threw your body in the lake?”
“No, Thor does that enough, thank you.”
“Thor sounds like an awful roommate.”
“He is, actually. Well, sometimes – he and Flower have scared me off with having sex ten feet from my head and before that he had nightmares about eating his squirrel best friend, but it’s not too bad…”
“It’s not too bad – you what? I just… how?”
“Because now I just sneak into Hetty’s room with Flower.”
“Why wouldn’t you just trade rooms – you know what? I’m not asking questions.”
“I have some questions.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know, mom,” Jeremy states.
“Well, anyway. I wanted to check on you and the woman said you were both still asleep, so why don’t you call back later? I could get your father here and we could facetime. We wouldn’t be able to see Trevor, but…”
“I’d be able to see you.”
“He’d be able to see you,” Jeremy repeats. “We’d like that, mom.”
“Then we’ll talk later?”
“Sounds good.”
“Love you, both.”
“We love you, too.”
***
Hetty didn’t really want to leave Trevor and his brother alone. She had tossed and turned all night, eventually getting up and going to the twins’ room only to spy them so lost in conversation and half-asleep that she couldn’t bear to interrupt. Instead, she watched over them for hours, worried that if she wasn’t watching Trevor would get sucked off and she wouldn’t even get to say goodbye.
It hadn’t really occurred to her that as much as they all wished to be sucked off that somehow any of them would be or that she would be this upset about it. Maybe if it were Isaac, but she never believed that she could have this sort of attachment to Trevor.
Trevor, the pantsless son of a bitch that had stolen her heart.
She never thought it was possible, but now, she could lose him.
She’d never seen him so happy. So at peace with everything. In the last year, he’d essentially resolved many of the issues he had that would make sense for him to be staying there – he’s learned about his friends’ betrayal (and somehow forgiven them), his parents found his body (and they had a memorial even) and now, his brother – the other half of his soul – is here and they’re dealing with all of their issues.
What if Jeremy is exactly what Trevor needs to move on and leave her behind?
Fortunately, he hadn’t, yet, left her behind, but she still didn’t want to be away from him for too long just in case. Before he could invite her to stay when Sam suggested they all leave the brothers alone, Isaac takes her by the arm evidently wanting to discuss why she and Trevor had gone back into the shadows.
She wanted to stay, and she could see that Trevor maybe… possibly wanted her to stay, but she could understand Isaac wanting to speak with her after the revelation.
Rather than going downstairs, Isaac leads her into an empty nearby room.
“I don’t understand, Henrietta,” Isaac states. “Why would you pretend break up? Did the tea date not show that he doesn’t fit in with us?”
It takes a second before Hetty realizes that Isaac meant what he said after the horrid tea date. Although they had intended for the date to go poorly as part of their plan for things in their relationship to be on their terms rather on Nigel’s terms, she’s quite surprised that Isaac could live with Trevor for twenty years and think one awful attempt at tea should scare them off being together.
Especially since she and Trevor had spent time together prior to getting together – watching TV, discussing livings, and even listening to each other’s stories. He seemed to enjoy her stories as much as she enjoyed his stories, and it was not just during ‘pillow talk’.
It may have taken awhile for her walls to ‘come down’ as he said, but when they did, she has yet to regret it. The man has wormed his way into her heart, and she cannot believe that Isaac is standing before her believing that one horrid tea date was enough to scare her away.
She laughs. Actually, laughs and shakes her head.
“Isaac, as much as I enjoy your company and Trevor’s company, I do not believe that horrid tea date is a show of whether or not Trevor and I are compatible. Particularly due to the fact that we did that on purpose.”
“What – what do you mean? You purposely tanked the date, why?”
“Surely, you realized that Trevor and I coming out happened rather dramatically, yes?” Hetty questions.
“Of course,” Isaac states. “I assumed that it was because Trevor likes that sort of thing – with all of his stories and such.”
“It was not for Trevor that I made such a big deal of our coming out. It was because Nigel had caught us together the week prior and had opted to blackmail us into keeping his silence.” She pauses. “I am ashamed to admit that I was too embarrassed and wanted to follow through with the blackmail, as a result, Trevor and I broke up, but when Trevor went to tell Nigel that there was nothing to blackmail us with anymore, he said that he would still inform everyone of our entanglement. Trevor followed through with giving Nigel what he wanted, despite getting nothing out of it and it was then that I realized that I had - that I have … feelings for Trevor.”
Not that she’s admitted such things to him.
Isaac still looks entirely confused. “I don’t understand. How did that lead to everything that happened?”
“Well, I decided that the only way to deal with the situation and show Trevor that I was not embarrassed was to tell everyone. We beat Nigel – checkmated him. Yet, it felt as if he pushed us out before we were ready.”
She smiles slightly when she thinks about what happened after the big announcement. Trevor had been delighted that she was no longer embarrassed by him but could understand that there was a level of uncomfortableness regarding how and why they came out. He didn’t like that Nigel had essentially forced them out of their little horny nest as he enjoys calling it. Thus, they had discussed it and decided that with both of them okay if people found out about them, they could essentially scheme their way back into the shadows and come out on their terms.
“… and so, everything (aside from Stephanie’s input) that happened that day was planned, from the overly obnoxious way we showed off ‘being a couple’ to the awful tea date and the discussions we had with our friends in the house. Everyone surprisingly played into it well, thus it was easy for us to fake fight and break up.” Hetty smiles. “Then it was just us, again. At first, we tried to be less obvious, but then I was almost banished, and we assumed that if we were found out, again, we would just let it happen.”
“This is what you want?”
“More than anything.”
“Then, I support you and I shall talk to Nigel about this – blackmail business. Perhaps someday soon we can actually attempt a proper double date.”
“It may take some time, but I think Trevor and I may enjoy that at some point in the future.”
“Good.”
#CBS Ghosts#Ghosts CBS#trevor lefkowitz#Jeremy Lefkowitz#Hetty Woodstone#isaac higgintoot#Ch 5#It's a twin thing
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Reading This Week 2023 #37
Finished:
Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui
Started and Finished:
The Life of Aesop translated by Lloyd W. Daly
Narrative Prosthesis: Disability and the Dependencies of Discourse by David T. Mitchell & Sharon L. Snyder, Introduction & Chapter 1
Living a Feminist Life by Sara Ahmed, Introduction & Chapters, 3, 5, & 9
"The Declaration" from Peoples' Summit on Climate, Rights, and Human Survival
"Racism Is Killing the Planet" by Hop Hopkins in Sierra: The Magazine of the Sierra Club
"Racism, Police Violence, and the Climate are not Separate Issues" by Bill McKibben in The New Yorker
"What the warming world needs now is art, sweet art" by Bill McKibben in Grist
28 fatt fics for the marathon
"Looking at the Monster: Frankenstein and Film" by James A.W. Heffernan"
"Razors in the Dreamscape: Revisiting A Nightmare on Elm Street and the Slasher Film" by James Kendrick
"The perfect victim: Reading trauma andvictimhood in rape narratives in Indian comics" by Shromona Das
bad behavior by marquis on ao3
"Ugliness and value in the Life of Aesop" by Jeremy B. Lefkowitz
Started and Ongoing:
Loving Her by Ann Allen Shockley
Performance by Diana Taylor
Pedagogies of Crossing : Meditations on Feminism, Sexual Politics, Memory, and the Sacred by M. Jacqui Alexander
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It’s a Twin Thing - Ch 1
A few weeks after Hetty’s almost banishment, Trevor’s in for a surprise when his twin brother comes by for a visit.
AO3
***
Trevor sighs, contentedly, as Hetty cuddles into him. Despite it being earlier than usual for the aftermath of the rendezvous, Hetty doesn’t immediately leave. After nearly being sent to the woods for a year, they’ve both been rather clingy … not that either of them would admit it.
Instead, they just cuddle together sometimes quietly – they’ve fallen asleep on more than one occasion – and sometimes they’ll chat quietly about random things. They usually take turns talking about what’s on their minds and sharing stories of their pasts.
Lately, he can’t stop thinking about his brother. Although everyone knows that he has a brother now, Hetty’s the only one that he had mentioned Jeremy being his twin brother to (although Flower had guessed ages ago). Their rendezvouses in the last month or so since the heir nonsense happened usually led to cuddling and Trevor talking about some story where he and Jeremy had attempted to pretend to be each other until they failed at it. It was always a competition between the brothers to see who could last longer pretending to be the other – Trevor always claimed the crown unless it involved someone asking him to draw something.
He loved those moments. He loved those stories. He wishes that he could relive those days, those times. He misses Jeremy something terrible and he wishes more than anything that he could see him, again. Talk to him, tell him that he feels like a part of his soul is missing and that he wishes that he’d come to the memorial, but he appreciated that he sent Tara Reid (even if that had been a disaster). It showed him that he knows what Trevor would want even decades later, even decades without him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Hetty questions as she looks up at him, lifting her head from his chest. Their clothes hadn’t returned yet, so he knew that she hadn’t fallen asleep despite how quiet she was being.
Trevor hums. It’s his turn to tell a story. “Just thinking about Jeremy, again.”
“Are you going to tell me another story about the two of you switching places?” Hetty questions, somehow looking excited.
Trevor grins. “That depends. Would you like to hear one?”
Hetty hums in agreement. “I would as I am waiting on a particular story.”
Trevor laughs. “Oh yeah? What story would that be?”
Hetty grins. “I have decided that you two switched so often that you are secretly Jeremy.”
Trevor can’t help bursting out laughing. “You really think that Jeremy and I switched the day I died and I’m not Trevor, but I’ve been pretending to be him for over twenty years?”
“Well, no one would have any idea, correct?”
“That’s correct.”
“Thus, theoretically, you could have decided to be Trevor while actually being Jeremy for your entire afterlife.”
“I love J-dog and it’s undoubtedly fun fooling everyone, except our parents, but I can’t imagine doing that for twenty years – it’d feel wrong. I love him, but that was a game we played together – we never did it without permission from the other,” Trevor states. Not after the one-time that got them both in major trouble. “Besides, I like being T-money instead of J-dog.”
“It is hard to take you seriously with those ridiculous monikers,” Hetty states, somewhat teasingly.
Trevor laughs. “Oh, please. I know you love it.”
“I do no such thing,” Hetty states, but the smile on her lips says otherwise.
He gives her a quick kiss and says, “Uh-huh, I totally believe you.”
“You should as I am being sincere.”
“Sure, you are.”
“It is impolite to suggest a lady such as myself would lie.”
“It’s impolite for a lady such as yourself to lie to her lover about something as silly as liking my T-Money moniker,” Trevor teases. “And continuing to lie just means you’ll have to suffer the consequences.”
He shifts so that he can move his hand down Hetty’s side since she’s ticklish there.
Hetty clearly knows what he’s thinking of doing and tries to wiggle away. “Don’t you dare, Trevor!”
“I won’t if you admit you like it,” Trevor teases.
“Never!”
Laughing Trevor begins to tickle her, and it takes no time at all to get Hetty all giggly and begging for mercy, even as she shifts on top of him and pins him down.
“I win,” Hetty says, gleefully.
Trevor smiles. “I’m right where I want to be – so I think I win. Now, admit it. You like my T-Money thing.”
Hetty leans down as if she’s going to kiss him but stops just out of reach. “You are correct, Trevor, but do not let that go to your head.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Trevor teases, just before she closes the distance for the kiss.
“Good.”
***
He knows that it might not be a good idea to come here. Probably a terrible one, but he figured he had to – he had to know – had to see him – had to deal with these things he’s been avoiding. It was ridiculous that he couldn’t summon the courage to visit during the memorial, but he hadn’t been expecting his parents to throw one and he wasn’t – wasn’t ready to face the reality of losing his twin.
While it’s true that he had known – especially with his ability to suddenly see ghosts around the time that his brother had obviously died and those dreams of this very familiar mansion – but there had still been a part of him that ached for it not to be true. He had had such a hard time with the loss, with not knowing where he was, and worse knowing that he was likely a ghost somewhere. The dreams he had were not helpful as he wasn’t sure if they were real or not – and some, he certainly hoped not. His – their – parents had tried to reassure him. Tell him that Trevor was not stuck on as a ghost, but he knew – he could feel it.
They hadn’t really accepted the possibility until the weekend where they discovered exactly where Trevor had died – everything that had happened, the woman owner of the house acting so strange by encouraging the memorial for one, and the final moment where she said, ‘what if he was here – what would you tell him?’. They had believed then that not only was he there, but the woman could see him like Jeremy could see him (and other ghosts).
Despite this, they didn’t think it would be a good idea for Jeremy to visit until and unless he was ready, but how do you ever get ready for that? He had nearly made this trip a dozen times in the last few months, and every time he turned around.
Every time he found himself afraid and overwhelmed. He thought about what Trevor would say, if he’d be angry that he hadn’t come sooner, if he’d blame Jeremy for being the reason he’s stuck. If he resented Jeremy for being the cautious and careful twin, rather than Trevor as the reckless and risky twin.
It was illogical, he knew, but it was how he felt.
And he couldn’t stand the thought of Trevor hating him. Blaming him.
Because he blamed himself.
He should’ve been there – done something, somehow.
Stopped him from falling into the lake or whatever. They had no idea what actually happened, his bones – waterlogged as they were – told them nothing. And Trevor’s so-called bros had been less than helpful.
Jeremy was always sure they knew something – gut instinct and what not, but that didn’t mean squat to the authorities who had nothing to go on. And after twenty-two and a half years, there wasn’t any evidence of anything other than an accident.
Still, if he’d been a better brother – maybe he would have been there or helped him find better friends. What if he had somehow gotten in good with Trevor’s friends and been able to stop him from doing reckless and risky things all of the time? What if he had convinced him that he didn’t need to do risky and stupid things to be the life of the party? What if he had spent more time in the city with Trevor rather than hide out in the country where he’s more comfortable? What if he convinced him that he was better off leaving Lehman Brothers and branching out away from those douchey bros to be with his actual bro?
There were so many things he could have done, so many words left unsaid, so many what ifs.
Maybe he would finally get answers here.
He could feel Trevor’s presence as soon as he pulls up, but it takes a minute and several deep breaths before he gets out of the car before he can convince himself to drive back home and not face his brother.
The front door was open, probably due to the nice weather and to encourage random drop-ins for the business. Given that he hadn’t exactly planned a visit (if only because he had attempted and failed to make this trip a dozen times), this is probably a good thing.
Still, it’s as nice and homey as his parents told him (they had attempted to reassure him that if Trevor was there at least it was homey – the fact that his drawings and paintings matched a house that he had never set foot in helped assure him that Trevor was definitely there). He can’t help looking around, and hoping to just spot Trevor rather than have to talk to the owners and explain what exactly he was doing here, but despite noting two obvious ghosts – a captain and a Lieutenant colonel from opposite sides of the revolutionary war in the library kissing, interesting, he only sees two other ghosts in the living room – a hippie and a Native American, who have appeared to have noticed him.
No Trevor.
There’s plenty of land, obviously, so Trevor doesn’t necessarily have to be in the house at the moment, but he’d somehow been hoping that Trevor would be the first person that he would see. That he wouldn’t have to go searching.
Although, it was entirely possible that his brother had ascended, and he would never know it – would he lose this ability if his brother ascends? Did the fact that he has this ability even mean that his brother was ghost? How did it work?
He had no idea. Yet, due to the memorial and drawings, he was convinced that Trevor was here – at least, he has been for twenty years. He could be gone by now. What if the memorial got him to ascend? Maybe he’d been hyping himself up to do this all for naught?
What would he do, then?
“SAM! There’s someone here!” the Native American yells from the living room.
He doesn’t react. If his brother isn’t here, then he doesn’t want to give away his ability. The last thing he wants to do is talk to more ghosts who are less than helpful to his plight of seeing dead people and trying to play at normal.
He’s sure the other living that can clearly see ghosts – Sam – probably wishes the ghosts here would let her play being a bit more normal. Of course, neither of them were. Not with this ability most people don’t have.
He hears footsteps on the stairs, as the hippie woman says, “He looks awfully familiar.”
“He does, doesn’t he?” her companion offers.
Ignoring them, he looks up at the woman on the stairs, who stops on the landing with two other ghosts behind her – one that’s clearly a Viking and the other who is wearing a scout uniform and an arrow through the neck – ouch. He’s seen some brutal deaths – that’s a rough way to die for sure.
It’s at that point that it occurs him that maybe he should’ve gone by the lake, maybe if Trevor died drowning – he’d hang out there? Before he could leave the house awkwardly – like he’s prone to do, the blonde, clearly alive woman, says, “Trevor?”
“How did you know?” he asks, without thinking. It had been common practice for he and Trevor to just answer to the other’s name. They switched so often when they were younger that half the time, he forgot that his name wasn’t Trevor.
Of course, these days, the name causes an ache his chest.
He can see the ghosts all reacting confused and excited. They had clearly put together that he was Trevor’s brother and that he probably came seeking closure about his brother the way his parents had.
They chatter about seeing him and someone realizes that they should go get Trevor because he should be here for this – both the hippie and arrow man immediately mention that they hadn’t seen him all morning – midafternoon, but that they’d split up and look for him in his usual haunts.
Several minutes pass before Sam says, “Uh, lucky guess. You sort of remind me of someone.”
“I get that a lot – were you thinking about them just now?” he asks, giving her an out for awkward silence since he knows what it’s like to be overwhelmed by ghosts that don’t understand what it looks like for her to be silent and trying not to react (and failing) to their commentary.
A couple of the ghosts mention that it was interesting that he had offered her an out when Sam nods. “Oh, yes. He was – uh – a good friend that – uh – recently passed. My apologies, I’m probably seeming all sorts of weird to you.”
“Weird should be my middle name – I’m quite weird myself,” he offers. He’s waiting for her to mention anything about his brother or something, while the ghosts continue commenting.
But luckily as the arrow man and the hippy return with yet another ghost with news that they had not found Trevor, he hears, “Jeremy?” from his left.
He turns to see Trevor standing there in a half suit – interesting and unfortunate death outfit – with a Victorian woman with red-hair. Those dreams were definitely real.
He doesn’t hesitate (and neither does Trevor) to move forward to hug him. He could hear surprised voices behind him and the one beside them, but he doesn’t care as he envelopes his brother in a hug for the first time in over twenty-two years. He puts one arm around his back, while the other goes to his hair to ruffle it, like always. Trevor mimics him, and to be honest, he finally feels completed for the first time in years – like a piece of himself that had been missing was finally locking into place.
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It's A Twin Thing - Ch 10 - The Goodbye
The portrait felt like it took forever, even if Trevor did manage to enjoy himself much to the annoyance of those around him and Hetty. He knows how important it was for everyone though as they all wanted to feel like this is their house rather than just Sam and Jay’s house. It helped to feel like they weren’t gone from the world even if they ever ascend.
Yes, technically it was just Sam and Jay’s house now, but they still lived there and wanted to feel like they are a part of the house still. It was definitely a win for the ghosts, who have sometimes felt like they did during Sam and Jay’s first dinner party.
At least it’s finished now, and sure that they’re all going to be happy that they’ll be in a family portrait forever, but a part of Trevor wished that they hadn’t finished it so soon.
Trevor just can’t help feeling a bit disappointed when the last portrait is finished. Not because he’s not tired of standing in place, smiling, but because it means that Jeremy no longer has a reason to stay.
Of course, he knew that he wouldn’t stay forever. It wouldn’t be fair to him or their parents, or even Sam and Jay. He just wishes that he could have more time with him. That he could leave with him. That they didn’t have to be separated again so soon.
It’s not that he doesn’t love his ghost family or livings at the mansion because it’s pretty sweet compared to some of the worse places he could be (he shivers at the thought of being stuck to a car – he needs the space), especially with Sam’s abilities, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel the ache at not being able to leave with his brother.
Apparently, Jeremy can feel it, too, since after putting his bag in the car, he turns to Trevor and says, “Hey – this isn’t a permanent goodbye. I’ll be back, I already convinced Sam to let us celebrate Hannukah here since you can’t leave, and I’ll be able to write to you and come visit. It’s not forever.”
Trevor nods. “I know. It’s different than when mom and dad left, but I still – I wish I could go with you.”
“I wish you could, too. I want nothing more than for you to come with, but the best we can do is visits and writing to each other,” Jeremy states.
“I know, and at least we have that. We have more than the other ghosts, I just –”
Jeremy smiles. “I know. I’m going to miss you, too, but hey, at least you’ve got your girlfriend to entertain you and your friends, and I think Jay might be coming around to be your friend, too.”
Trevor laughs. “Yeah, that’s true. I just …”
“I know. It’s not easy – never been easy being without you, but it’s different now.”
“I know. I’m very lucky and I should acknowledge that.”
Jeremy gives him a hug. “I love you, T.”
“I love you, too, J.”
Jeremy lets go and gets in the car. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, J, talk to you later.”
“Good.”
With that, Jeremy drives away with Trevor waving in the mirror until he can’t see him anymore.
It’s never easy saying goodbye, but somehow, this goodbye felt a lot easier than the others. Trevor knew that he and Jeremy would continue chatting and that they’d be reunited one day, permanently, but for now, they part on far happier terms than one would expect for a pair of twins parted by the veil of death.
He supposed that he should be grateful for their twin thing, and he couldn’t wait to see him, again. For now, though, this goodbye wasn’t forever, it was see you again, someday.
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It's A Twin Thing Ch 8
Jeremy and Sam have a conversation that may lead to him staying a bit longer at the B&B.
AO3
***
Jeremy isn’t surprised to find his brother asleep with his girlfriend in her room with Flower. In fact, he’d been expecting it, hence, deciding to spend the early morning hours drawing the two of them together. He always enjoyed drawing a sleeping Trevor, the one that isn’t putting up a front, just his natural relaxed self.
He loves it.
No façade, no pretending, just the real Trevor. The Trevor that few people actually get to see.
Even dead, he barely lets his true self show except on occasion. His discussion with Hetty had illuminated that. Still, he hopes that his presence and the stories regarding Trevor would help him be able to be himself.
Maybe then, he’ll be even happier here. Especially since he’ll probably be here for at least a few more decades. Jeremy’s pretty sure that Trevor will ascend when Jeremy does, but as promised, he’s not exactly planning on that anytime soon.
Of course, he might’ve already found peace with his girlfriend. They certainly seem cozy together.
“What are you doing?” Sam asks, quietly from the left.
He jumps slightly, not expecting her (or anyone) to be awake at four-thirty in the morning.
“Uh, sketching,” Jeremy states, just as quiet. “What are you doing up?”
Sam shrugs. “Couldn’t sleep – I couldn’t ignore Flower and Thor going at it anymore. Figured I’d do some writing when I might actually have peace to write.”
“The ghosts drive you crazy?” Jeremy asks, gesturing away from the room. The last thing he wants is to wake anyone, especially if Sam thinks she could do some writing.
Sam nods as they begin walking downstairs. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate my ghost family or as Jay likes to call then ‘our eight idiot kids’ –”
At this, Jeremy bursts out laughing. “Very fitting.”
“Extremely fitting,” Sam agrees. “Anyway, it’s not that I don’t get it – it’s not like they have much going on, but do you know how annoying it is to have backseat writers all the time? I mean, sometimes, you just get the words out and then edit stupid mistakes later, but they’re all like ‘missing comma’, ‘that’s spelled wrong’, ‘you should really rephase that’, etc.”
Jeremy laughs as they enter the kitchen and Sam begins making tea after placing her computer on the counter. “In my experience, you just have to assert yourself and stand by it.”
“Oh? I thought you learned to ignore them?”
“I did,” Jeremy says, as he sits with his sketchpad. “But it took years and those that were aware that I have this ability before I learned to ignore them obviously weren’t going to let me pretend that I didn’t see them. They were too excited.”
“That makes sense,” Sam says, as she sits across from him. “I know the ghosts here were over the moon about my ability – well, after we agreed that I wasn’t leaving. They just don’t seem to understand that sometimes I need to be alone.”
“And that’s where asserting yourself comes in,” Jeremy states. “For example, Stanley, who lives in my studio, knows that he can’t just talk to me whenever I’m in the zone with a painting. He knows that music is one thing, having him talk to me about how I’m using the wrong colors or ‘not another painting of your brother’ is not acceptable.”
Sam laughs. “Are all of your paintings of your brother?”
“No, but most of them are,” Jeremy admits. “It used to be somewhat more even. I’d draw whatever I saw that day – someone walking on the street, the sunset over the road, the clouds with different designs, and then, Trevor or our parents or our friends. I once had a girlfriend, who was determined to be my muse and would get upset that I drew him, instead.”
“I imagine she felt second-best…”
“He’s my twin brother, literally the other half of my soul,” Jeremy counters. “While it’s not true for every set of twins, we’re not the only ones to feel that way. In fact, the other woman that can see ghosts – Emma, she said that she felt the same way about Sutton – her identical twin sister, who is currently a ghost in upstate New York.”
“I suppose that must’ve been hard to find someone then?”
Jeremy chuckles. “Yes and no. I was never – I am not really interested in a relationship, but I did find someone who understood, it just took a little longer especially because his death hit me so hard.”
Sam looks down. “I guess I never realized what it’d be like for your family… when your parents came here, it was hard on Trevor, but I can’t imagine…”
Jeremy nods. He didn’t really want to think about it. Instead, he refocuses on sketching.
“Anyway, the ghosts – for obvious reasons – like that you can do things for them that otherwise they can’t do, but you just have to assert yourself. Like you attempted to do with the ghosts’ election.”
Sam laughs as she takes care of pouring the tea. “Yeah, because that worked so well the first time.”
He laughs as he accepts his cup. “Well, maybe you should just pick someone that you know is more understanding about stuff. Someone who’s only made you look like an idiot like a couple of times and that had to do with his doucheface ex-boyfriend and our parents accidently coming to visit.”
“He dated Ari?” Sam asks, surprised. Then she shakes her head. “That explains a lot. And I suppose you’re right. He has probably been the best about not making me look like an idiot. Everyone else certainly hasn’t.”
“You just have to put your foot down,” Jeremy states. “And stick to it, especially if it affects your work.”
“Speaking of your work – your drawings and paintings are fairly amazing.”
“Thank you,” Jeremy smiles. “I appreciate the compliment.”
“And I’m thinking – you know, Jay was really excited to see some of these drawings … it kind of lets him see more of the ghosts and feel connected to them…”
“Uh-huh?”
“And well, I bet the ghosts would love to be represented here in the house…”
Jeremy chuckles. “Are you asking me to paint pictures of the ghosts to put up?”
Sam’s slight excitement deflates. “You think it’s a dumb idea?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“Because I’m just imagining the early years of Stanley complaining that my paintings aren’t right when I tried to paint him,” Jeremy states.
Sam gives him a confused look.
“Stanley owned the studio before me. He wanted to be remembered and etched in stone on the studio, so I agreed to paint him…”
“Oh God, it didn’t go well?”
“Not at all. I must’ve tried to paint him a dozen times, but he always claimed that I didn’t ‘capture’ him right,” Jeremy states. “But if you’d like – I can give it a try. If only because it gives me an excuse to be here longer and heckle my brother.”
“I heard that,” Trevor states as he leans in the doorway.
Jeremy grins. “Didn’t see you there, T. What are you doing up?”
“I heard you whispering and was curious.”
“So, you’re just hiding and spying?” Jeremy questions. “Don’t you know the phrase ‘curiosity killed the cat’?”
“I’m not a cat and I’m already dead, J.”
“You two are ridiculous,” Sam comments with a laugh.
Trevor grins. “For the record, I think it’s a great idea because I think it’s going to be utterly hilarious to watch you trying to paint people you’ve been painting for ages knowing how specific they all are.”
“Better or worse than Stanley?”
“Have you met them? Far worse, but I’m going to get a kick out of it.”
Jeremy laughs. “I’m sure you will.”
“Does that mean it’s a yes?” Sam questions.
Jeremy nods. “It never hurts to try.”
“You’re so going to eat those words.”
“We’ll see.”
***
Trevor can’t help laughing as Jeremy huffs, again, at the rather particular comments coming from Alberta about the painting of her because she had insisted on being first.
“Alberta, haven’t you ever heard of not correcting the artist?”
“You’re not capturing the essence that is Alberta Haynes,” Alberta counters, just as huffy.
“You do realize that all of you have been in paintings that I’ve been doing for twenty years… I know what I’m doing.”
“You haven’t been painting me you’ve been painting your brother…”
“And you don’t think you appeared?”
“Fine! You may have been painting me for years, but you’ve been doing it wrong.”
“Or you’re just being ridiculously anal and need to stop.”
“I never imagined that Alberta would be the anal one,” Flower states. “Thought that would be Hetty for sure.”
Trevor barely managed to keep his laughter in check because Hetty had given him a look that said, ‘Don’t you dare make a joke’.
“I’m not anal,” Alberta counters. “You’re just getting me wrong.”
“I’m not getting you wrong!”
“And besides, if anyone’s anal here it’s Hetty.”
“Excuse me, Alberta, but I have not said a word. So how can I do anal?” Hetty questions, which causes them all to burst out laughing.
Hetty looks at him confused, and Trevor says, “The word is ‘be’ – how can I be anal.”
“What is wrong with ‘do anal’?” Hetty asks, still confused.
“I – uh, it’s the phrase people would use for like … Ari and I having sex.” She still looks confused, so he says, “I’ll explain later.” Then he clears his throat. “And Alberta, as funny as it is to see you heckle my brother – he’s extremely talented and he’s captured you perfectly.”
“He has not!”
Trevor gives a pleading look to Flower, who says, “You know, Alberta, I think it’s time to chase the butterflies.”
“Flower…”
“Come on now,” Flower says, grabbing her hand and leading her away. “You know the rules – if it’s time to chase the butterflies … you have to come with me.”
Alberta huffs, but doesn’t resist and a moment later, they’re outside.
Jeremy gives him a look. “Somehow, worse than Stanley.”
“I’m pretty sure you expected that,” Trevor states with a smile. “Still, I think you captured her well. Maybe you should tell her about the paintings you’ve sold. Might remind her that you’re a famous artist.”
Jeremy hums. “Although I probably shouldn’t tell her I sold one to creepy Todd.”
“You sold a painting of Alberta to Creepy Todd?” Hetty questions.
“Well, I – I didn’t know who he was at the time,” Jeremy states. “He bought the painting ages before he ever visited Woodstone mansion.”
Hetty tilts her head in confusion. Obviously, not sure how it made sense.
“It was a painting of Alberta singing. Ironically, without the audience being interested,” Trevor explains. “Right before Sam returned from the hospital.”
“Oh, I remember that. You were taking up the whole couch.”
Trevor laughs. “You chose to sit on the armrest.”
“Because you chose to take up the whole couch,” Hetty says, moving closer to him.
“Not true. I only spread out because I could – no one joined me,” Trevor states, so close that they could reach out and kiss.
“Maybe they would have if you had not spread yourself all over the couch,” Hetty states, pretending like it even matters at this point. She doesn’t really care; he knows that, and she knows that. She’s just trying to rile him up and it’s working.
“I did not spread myself anywhere.”
They continue to banter back and forth for a few minutes, getting closer and closer together before suddenly they’re kissing. Neither of them are paying any attention to where they are or anything other than each other for several minutes.
At least until they hear: “Alright, I think I preferred when you two were hiding – is this what we can look forward to now? Walking into any room and seeing you trying to eat each other?”
“Sass!” another voice admonishes.
Breaking apart, they see Sass and Pete standing in the living room not far away.
“If I said ‘yes’, would that mean you’d go away?”
“Trevor!”
“What? He doesn’t ask the same of Thor and Flower and they have sex ten feet from my head,” Trevor states, turning to her. Hetty opens her mouth to counter, but Trevor’s not done. “He also doesn’t say anything to Isaac and Nigel or Sam and Jay … what makes us different?”
Hetty tilts her head, obviously confused in that adorable way that he’s grown to adore. “Trevor’s right, Sasappis. What is different about us?”
“I – well – you – it’s Trevor and you – I just …” Sass stutters.
“That’s not an answer.”
“Can I offer an answer?” Jeremy offers, after it’s clear Sass won’t be answering.
Trevor nods.
“I think it’s because Sass finds himself attracted to one of you or both of you and well…”
He trails off, but Trevor does know. That would be hilarious, and it makes him wonder if it’s him – after all, Sass clearly spent more time watching Elias rather than Hetty. Sass picks up on the underlying messages and stutters, “I’m not attracted to Trevor!” and then storms off.
Trevor can’t help laughing, meanwhile Hetty leans over to his ear and whispers, “He might not be, but I certainly am.”
Trevor gives raises his eyebrows at her, and says, “Five minutes?”
“As if we need that long,” Hetty replies. “Race you?”
“Gladly.”
They take off before anything else can be said, completely ignoring Pete and Jeremy, he’ll explain to Jeremy later.
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It's A Twin Thing Ch 7
Trevor has the best birthday of his afterlife.
AO3
***
“So, tell me more about yourself,” Jeremy says, as he sits with Hetty a little off to the side from the computer where their parents are chatting with Trevor via Sam, who had wanted to be involved for some reason. Of course he’s using his power to send messages to them, which helps.
“Oh, um, I am Henrietta Woodstone. I have lived at the Woodstone Estate for my entire life and afterlife. I have been dead for a hundred and thirty years. I was married with children in life, but my ex-husband who is rotting in hell means nothing to me –”
“I meant, personally. What do you like to do? What interests you?”
Hetty looks taken aback. “Why ever would you want to know that?”
“How else am I going to get to know you?” Jeremy questions.
“I thought you shared dreams with Trevor? Would you not know about me through those dreams?”
Jeremy laughs. “I only get vague ideas – I see the events and recreate them in drawings and paintings, but I rarely remember the conversations or information provided in them. I just… remember the feelings.”
“The feelings?”
Jeremy hums. “I remember how annoyed he was when you wouldn’t let him attend the dinner party. I remember how delighted he was when your scheme to fool the house paid off. And I remember how afraid and upset he was when you tried to send him to hell…”
“I did not mean it. He was just an easy target to test on, we – we were not close then, and I would never…”
“Hetty, relax. I know that he forgave you. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t, which means, he doesn’t actually believe that you wanted to hurt him,” Jeremy states, plainly.
While he and Trevor hadn’t discussed it, he knows his brother well enough to know that Trevor would never sleep with Hetty if he didn’t believe that Hetty didn’t truly want to harm him and had forgiven her for her attempt regardless of if she thought it would work or not.
Hetty relaxes. “He was angry with me for a long time…”
“He had nightmares for a long time,” Jeremy admits. “I know because I had them, too. It’s one of those moments that was imprinted in my brain.”
Hetty looks down, clearly upset.
“But he forgave you when you proved that you had accepted him,” Jeremy states, causing her to look up confused. “What happened with Ari,” he explains. “You had seen a different side to him, you had been the one to bring him back downstairs to see what you all had planned, and when you apologized after that – for thinking the worst of him and for trying to send him to hell, even as a joke – he knew you meant it. And he forgave you.”
Hetty nods. “I believed him to be too much like Elias…”
“Because he puts up a front to protect himself…” Jeremy offers. “Lying about his hero tendencies that backfired.” She gives him a confused look and he laughs. “Let’s just say that the night he died wasn’t the only time he did something that stupid with regard to his pants.” She still looks confused, so he says, “He’s come home without pants several times – largely because after his stupid run of fun thing, he didn’t want anyone else to go through that.”
“Oh,” Hetty states. “That is … perhaps he was destined to die without pants then.”
Jeremy laughs. “I believe it. It’s too bad that he didn’t believe in my ghosts’ stories.”
“Your ghosts’ stories?”
Jeremy hums. “I always believed in ghosts, Trevor didn’t. I used to make up stories about ghosts that lived in our house, at the school, at the mall… all the time. It’s a shame I’m not a writer because I was extremely imaginative when it came to these stories, but I don’t really like writing, but I did draw them a lot.” He clears his throat. “Anyway, there were always common things about the ghosts – like the way you look when you died, which included clothes. I always teased him that he should be more careful about walking around without clothes on because he could become a naked ghost. Can you just imagine that?”
They both laugh.
“Are you mocking me over there?” Trevor asks, gaining their attention.
“No… what would give you that idea?” Jeremy offers, giving him a grin. “I simply suggested that you have an issue with pants.”
“I do not have an issue with pants,” Trevor retorts. “I just happened to die without them.”
“Because you had habit of coming home without pants on.”
“I did not – it wasn’t a habit. It just happened sometimes.”
“Exactly how many times did you leave your pants somewhere and went home half-naked?” Sam asks. “Wait, no, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”
“I want to know,” Flower asks. “I’m curious.”
“I knew you had a problem with pants,” Alberta says, excitedly. “Your mother showed a picture of him without pants when they came to visit, and I asked him if he ever wore pants.”
“I was TWO!”
“And at thirty-two, you still didn’t wear pants,” Jeremy jokes.
“I wore them – I just happened to take them off at a rather unfortunate time,” Trevor states.
This causes everyone to laugh.
“Why are talking about my pants anyway?”
“Oh, I was just explaining about my ghosts’ stories and how I always told you that your habit would bite you in the butt one day.”
Trevor sticks his tongue out at Jeremy. “You’re the worst.”
“You’re supposed to be nice to me – it’s my birthday.”
“It’s my birthday, too, you know and you’re not being nice.”
“Technically, you’re the one that said that ghosts don’t celebrate their birthdays… so, does that really count?”
“You – you just – are you serious right now?”
“Of course I am – technically, I’m just using your own words –”
“ALRIGHT BOYS, PLAY NICE,” Esther yells through the computer.
“Sorry, mom,” they say together.
“I’ll stop being mean – for now,” Jeremy offers.
“Good.”
***
It’s the happiest birthday Trevor has had in a long time – and not just because ghosts don’t celebrate birthdays, but because he’s reunited with his family, and Hetty, whether she’s ready to admit it or not, actually has feelings for him. After everything that’s happened – the uncertainty regarding their sexcapades and hiding – he was sure it would take a lot longer of being comfortable as a couple before she would even venture to think that something could be there, but apparently, not. She hadn’t said it in so many words, but he could tell that her worry over losing him was on par with if she were to lose Isaac, and that meant something.
He meant something. He meant something to her.
Such a great a feeling after their first coming out a few months back.
Now, he can feel better about his feelings for her. Especially since his parents and brother appear to approve.
Plus, despite the differences in time and death, somehow, she managed to find things in common with his parents, and Jeremy had fun trying to mimic her so that they could get an idea of what she sounded like, but he was genuinely trying and terrible at it. Jay, having been possessed by her, had a better idea of what Hetty’s voice is like and took over. It was very entertaining because Jeremy would lean over to whisper what Hetty said to him and sometimes, Jay would pause as he tries to imagine her saying it before attempting it and then Hetty would criticize his efforts which would cause Jeremy to laugh. Especially due to the fact that every so often, Jeremy would claim that Hetty said something totally ridiculous, and Jay wouldn’t realize that until he says it and Jeremy bursts out laughing.
Jay would then mumble something about being annoyed by Lefkowitzes before asking what she actually said to give it another try. It was a very fun afternoon, plus he got his own iPad to write to them. One that Sam agreed she would try not to police what he did with it as long as he didn’t get into their website to mess with it or their bank accounts to spend their money – which, fair.
He couldn’t imagine being happier.
After they ended the call, Trevor and Jeremy had opted to go for a walk just the two of them.
“So? How’re you feeling?” Trevor asks. “Because I’m feeling on top of the world.”
Jeremy grins at him. “So much better. Honestly, I – I didn’t know what to expect. I knew you were here, that you weren’t alone, but I – I wasn’t expecting you to be so happy and at peace. I thought I needed to come here to fix both of us… I thought that was the point of this twin thing…”
“Maybe a few years ago that would’ve been the case, and – don’t get me wrong, you helped me so much today – but yeah, I’m a lot happier than a dead guy has a right to be.”
“To be honest, I thought you would ascend if you were that happy – I didn’t want you to be upset and stuck because of me…”
“But I’m not either of those things, J. I mean – sometimes there’s rough days when I wonder why I’m here, but a lot of days – especially lately, I almost forget I’m a ghost. Like I’m on top of the world …”
“Like you’re on top of your tower with all the money in the world, with your wife and your favorite movie and everyone’s having fun?” Jeremy finishes. “Your own dream come true.”
“Or at least as close to it as I can get.”
“You’re really that happy?”
“Probably the happiest I’ve ever been.”
“So, it won’t upset you if I’m the reason you’re stuck?” Jeremy asks, looking worried.
Trevor gives him a soft smile. “No, it won’t – with the dreams and drawings, I kind of figured and to be honest, I am perfectly content right now to wait and see what happens.” Then he gives him a look. “And I don’t want you joining me anytime soon – in the afterlife. Live your life to the fullest, J. That’s what I want for you. Not worrying about me or spending all of your time drawing my afterlife.”
“To be fair, your afterlife has made me a nearly famous artist,” Jeremy states with a smile.
“I’m happy to hear that, but you know what I meant,” Trevor states, giving him a look.
"I know.” He sighs. “It’s been a long twenty years and I go through phases…”
“Hopefully being able to write to me and know that I really am doing just fine will help.”
“I think it will.”
“Good.”
***
Given his promise to Hetty, Trevor goes to find her after saying goodnight to Jeremy. Although he expected her to be in their special room, as he goes to the stairs, he’s caught off guard by Flower stopping him.
“Hey, Flower, I – um …”
“You can take our room,” Flower assures him. “I’ll share with Thor tonight.”
“Thanks, I don’t want to kick you out…”
“You’re not, but before you do go into our room –” she stops and hugs him, tightly. “– I know that you deserve to be sucked off, but I’m really glad you’re not. I don’t know what I’d do without my best friend.”
Trevor smiles at her as they let go. “Like I told Hetty, I’m not ready to leave, and I’m glad you’d miss me enough to want me to stay – even given what that really means.”
Flower simply smiles before skipping off to Trevor and Thor’s room.
He looks after her for a second before he enters Hetty and Flower’s room.
The second he does; he is accosted by Hetty with a kiss. Like most of their kisses, it’s long and passionate and immediately makes him want to lead the way to the bed.
“Someone’s eager,” Trevor states, panting slightly as they break apart for air. “We have all night; we don’t have to rush.”
Hetty hums. “Perhaps I believed that I could give you a birthday present, however, your birthday expires at midnight…”
Trevor glances at the clock in the room. Thirty minutes to midnight.
“A present?” Trevor questions. “What kind of present?”
“The kind you’ve been asking for.”
“Splash?” Trevor asks, hopefully.
Hetty grins. “Anything for you, dearest.”
“One lucky ghost.”
“Make that two,” Hetty says before kissing him.
The night was all theirs.
***
Trevor sighs, contentedly as Hetty cuddles into him. Neither of them have to leave the room, they didn’t have to worry about being caught, it was nice. Just the two of them, enjoying the night together without worry.
“Trevor?”
“Yes, Hetty?”
“There’s something I’ve been thinking about today…”
“Hetty, I told you – I’m here to stay,” Trevor assures her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, I – I know. I am just … I never thought that I would feel as worried – attached to anyone other than Isaac…”
“It’s okay, Hetty. I appreciate that you take a long time to warm up to people.”
“No, Trevor. You do not understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
“I – I want to tell you something, but I – I do not know if I can.”
Trevor looks at her, can see that same look in her eyes from earlier. It’s clear to him that Hetty wants to say something … possibly about her feelings towards him, which were already obvious … well, sort of obvious.
“Hetty, you don’t have to say anything you can’t say,” Trevor states. “When you’re ready for it, that’s when you should say it – not now, not because you’re still a little bit worried that I might ascend. I told you – I’m not going anywhere.”
“I believe you, however…”
Trevor smiles at her. “I know you care; you don’t have to say it. I care about you, too.”
Hetty gives him a light kiss. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Always.” He gives her another kiss. “And hey, something else good came out of today.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, now we don’t have to hide anymore,” Trevor states. “And this time, it wasn’t because of some annoying little teapot. Mind you, my brother’s usually better about keeping secrets, but…”
“It was time. We were not as subtle as we thought, and I do not wish to hide anymore,” Hetty agrees. “I had been considering it for some time. Particularly since the almost banishment – the thought of losing you for a year…”
“We’ve both been rather attached – it was obvious,” Trevor states. “And I think it’s good to stop hiding.”
“Me too.”
#CBS Ghsots#Ghosts CBS#trevor lefkowitz#Jeremy lefkowitz#Hetty Woodstone#Hmoney#Ch 7#It's a Twin Thing
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It's A Twin Thing - Ch 4
Someone discovers the ghostly secret, and the twins discuss their dreams of one another while they were apart.
AO3
***
The rest of the afternoon was spent trading ghosts stories with stories of Jeremy’s life and or the stories of both of them when Trevor had been alive. It was all sorts of fun, but they often forgot that they were out in the open in the living room where anyone could see them until Jeremy says, “Sounds like being a ghost has been a lot of fun for you.”
“A ghost, huh?” a new voice asks, jarring their attention to the doorway, where Mark is standing there with a grin on his face. “Is it the pirate?”
“Pirate?” Jeremy questions, confused.
“His son was able to see Isaac and mistook him for a pirate,” Hetty states.
“Isaac doesn’t look anything like a pirate.”
“It was his ruffled garb, possibly,” Alberta offers.
“Or the fact that David is a child,” Trevor states.
“His name’s Isaac?” Mark asks.
“Yes, but he’s not in the room at the moment,” Jeremy states. “He’s actually from the revolutionary war – he kind of looks like Hamilton.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Trevor states. “You’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Why doesn’t he look surprised?” Alberta asks.
Jeremy laughs. “I don’t know but if Sam’s silences when I came in before she knew I could see you guys are any indication, I imagine it was obvious. So –”
“Mark,” Trevor supplies.
“Mark – you don’t seem surprised?”
Mark laughs. “I’ve been suspecting it pretty much since I started working here – Sam was always kind of weird, the whole election thing, yelling for ‘Pete’ to shut up when she had supposedly already gotten off the phone – the thing with the Viking bones, then there was the whole incident with David seeing the non-pirate and Sam referring to ‘herself’ as ‘we’, so by the time we get to the whole thing with the Vault and wedding – suddenly being able to open it, people acting strange – yadda, yadda, it was pretty obvious.”
“I can see how that makes sense.”
“Plus, the weird asking me to randomly get up –”
“Because he sat on Pete,” Flower offers.
Jeremy grimaces. “I’ve heard that’s painful.” At Mark’s confused look, he says, “You sat on one of them.”
“Ohhhh, I see. Well, sorry, man.”
“He’s not in the room. There’s only my brother – who’s the reason I can see them, Trevor - Hetty, Flower and Alberta.”
“That’s a lot of ghosts.”
“There’s even more than that,” Jeremy states. “Although, how come you never told Sam that you know or suspect the ghosts?”
“Because I find her attempts to hide it hilariously bad and I figured that I would wait until she just eventually told me,” Mark suggests. “To be honest, I didn’t expect her to keep it up – especially when it was so obvious, and then I felt guilty, so I didn’t think I could tell her that I suspected…”
“This makes all of the awkward moments with Mark a lot funnier,” Trevor states, with a grin.
“Although perhaps we should tell Samantha so that she may be able to stop being so awkward around the help,” Hetty offers.
Jeremy laughs. “Did you really just –”
“Yes, she did,” Trevor states. “Hetty, Mark is more than just the help.”
“Yeah, besides, he’s fine,” Alberta says, appreciatively. “You know – Sam would never tell him that for me – would you?”
“I’m not flirting with the man for you, Alberta,” Jeremy states. “And you’re a ghost – how exactly would that even work even if I did?”
“Oh! Would you let me possess you? If it works out?” Alberta asks. “Like what Trevor tried to do?”
“What? No. You’re not possessing me even if he was interested and besides, I don’t swing both ways – are you just assuming I do because Trevor does?”
“Trevor swings both ways?” Sam asks, as she enters from the dining room. “Oh – uh, Mark – uh…”
They all laugh, and Alberta says, “Girl, he knows.”
“He – what?” Sam stutters.
“Yeah, apparently, he guessed and then he saw us talking – well, Jeremy talking to us and admitted that he’s kind-of sort-of known since the start almost,” Trevor offers.
“You’ve known?”
“Well, technically, not for sure – just an idea,” Mark offers. “I thought you’d eventually tell me on your own since I’m here all the time and then, you didn’t and I was a little – I thought if I told you, it would look bad after so long of not saying anything…”
“Wow, Mark. I’ve been making myself look like a complete idiot and – and all along I didn’t have to try and cover it up?”
“Well – yeah,” Mark shrugs. “But it was funny… to me.”
Everyone laughs, while Sam huffs. “You’re all the worst. And to think, I came in here to get you for dinner.”
“Oh, can I join you?” Mark asks, teasingly.
“You just admitted to letting me look like an idiot, now you want to join us for dinner?” Sam asks, looking for a second like she would say no, but then her face splits into a smile. “Just kidding, of course you can.”
***
“You’re the worst, you know that?” Trevor teasingly asks as he and Jeremy sit on the bed in Jeremy’s room for the night. It was just the two of them, as most had retired for the night.
“It’s a brother’s job to embarrass their brother.”
“Yeah, but I have to live with them for eternity and now they know my most embarrassing stories,” Trevor complains, playfully.
Jeremy laughs. “I’m surprised you didn’t let them slip yourself. You’ve never been one not to laugh at yourself.”
“Well, I try to laugh at myself, but I also want to be taken seriously and that’s difficult given that I am already made fun of due to the obvious.”
“One of your hero moments gone awry?” Jeremy teases. “That was bound to catch up with you, you know?”
Trevor laughs. “Usually, it doesn’t matter that much. Not with the fun I have planned after the party is over, but this time it did.” He pauses. “And I admit – I am curious…”
“What happened?”
“Well, you knew so…”
“Yeah. I felt off that night – just all sorts of weird, I guess, but you know me – I tried to distract myself with painting or sketching. Oddly, I painted this…” Jeremy pulls out his phone and shows him a photo picture of Trevor’s meeting the ghosts. His body on the floor, Ari and David looking down at him. “I didn’t realize where it was until mom showed me some of the pictures that she took of this place. But painting that, falling asleep in my studio, and waking up the ghost – name’s Stanley – standing over me looking concerned and… not being able to get ahold of you…”
“Mom and dad said that they didn’t know –”
“And they didn’t, I didn’t – I mean, yeah, it was obvious – especially when I showed up at your work on Monday – seeing their faces, I suspected that they knew, but had no proof and obviously, I got in a fist fight with Ari – and got in all sorts of trouble…”
“And yet, they let you visit his office once a year to bug him?”
“Truthfully? I think he lets me because he feels it’s penance for what he did – for not telling me what happened. For letting us all suffer because he was a horrible bed buddy…”
“He could be worse,” Trevor offers. “He did look like he was truly sorry for everything.”
“I know he cared for you, so that’s something, at least. He’s not a complete bastard, but I still think he sucked as a bed buddy and – don’t you dare make a joke about that.”
Trevor pouts. “Ruin my jokes.”
“In this case, yes.”
“I suppose this is a serious discussion.”
“It is – look, I – I hate that you were here, that I didn’t know, that I couldn’t bring myself to visit right away, and that I’ve been without you for twenty-two years. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, or Ari’s lies about it but bugging him made me feel better. Besides, I was hoping that one day, he’d tell the truth. I thought if I bugged him enough that he would… confess. Only he hasn’t, but at least, I can say I’ve been bothering him and not letting him forget you.”
Trevor laughs. “I’ll bet it does. I probably would’ve done the same, you know?”
“I know. At least this year, I can tell him you hate him and hope that he gets sent down to hell – he might even believe me.”
“You can’t tell him that – it’s not true.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t know that. And after that watch story, it’ll be easy to convince him you do.”
“J, you can’t lie to the man.”
“I can – I think you mean I shouldn’t,” Jeremy replies as he pulls out his sketch book. “I just think he deserves to feel as much pain as I did – that I do when I think about you stuck here for eternity, well, I mean, at least it doesn’t seem so bad anymore.”
He flips through some of the other sketches he’s done in his books. The early sketches make Trevor look absolutely miserable, but that’s normal. At least according to the ghosts here. Realizing that your life was over … the plans you had were suddenly cut off… that you were stuck …
“It wasn’t always terrible,” Trevor offers, honestly. The fact that he wasn’t alone helped, even if it took a while to adjust and he got annoyed at times. “It’s just – it took a while to stop feeling that ache so strongly. The ache that I would never see you, again. That I let you down doing something stupid.”
“You could never let me down, T.”
“I know you think that, but in my head, it was probably the hardest thing I could’ve ever dealt with,” Trevor states. “Especially because you were always telling me that I was better than the stupid shit I pulled – that one day…”
“I hate being right about that, but it’s not any different than you telling me that I needed to let loose, which you were right about. We’ve always evened each other out and just because you ended up with the dangerous side doesn’t mean that you could ever let me down.”
“I prefer to think of it as the fun side,” Trevor teases.
“That leaves me with the boring side.”
“Sometimes I wonder if boring and alive would’ve been the better way.”
“No, you don’t,” Jeremy retorts. “You were always the ‘you only live once’ type, and besides, it certainly feels like you’ve managed to make the afterlife work for you.”
Trevor grins. “Well, being here wasn’t the most exciting for many years, but it’s gotten better in recent years.”
Jeremy hums. “I know – I haven’t spent years drawing your ghost adventures to conclude that it’s alwayssucked.”
Trevor nods as Jeremy flips through his sketch book, which shows some happy moments as well. There were so many happy, sad and everything in between.
“You had dreams, too, then?” Trevor questions. He’d always had dreams about Jeremy, and always wondered if they were real or just what he was hoping for.
Jeremy nods. “I kept wondering if it was what I wanted – at least the happy moments – or if it was really happening?”
“They were real. Every single one of these,” Trevor states, as they look through them. “You brought to life events of dead people.”
Jeremy snorts. “Thank you for the compliment.”
“You know what I mean,” Trevor states. “Looking at these, you wouldn’t even know the hours we’ve spent listening to the same cod stories over and over again or knots or songs…”
“It definitely helped – at least seeing that you weren’t alone,” Jeremy offers.
“It’s been nice, honestly. They’ve driven me crazy, but I can’t imagine my afterlife without them.”
“I’m glad you have them, I’m glad these things were true. It helped a lot when I couldn’t be with you.”
“I wished you were here, but not in like I wished you were dead way. Just – I missed you,” Trevor states. “I dreamed about you all the time. I wanted you to be happy…”
“And I am – some days are harder than others – our birthday for one, which is tomorrow, in case you forgot.”
“I didn’t,” Trevor states. “But ghosts don’t –”
“Don’t you dare. You’re celebrating with me.”
Trevor rolls his eyes. “Fine, you win.”
“Good. Now I do believe you should tell me some of your stories – I never remembered the details, just the feelings and visuals.”
“Happy to fill in the rest.”
#CBS Ghosts#Ghosts CBS#Trevor Lefkowitz#Jeremy Lefkowitz#Mark#samantha arondekar#hetty woodstone#alberta haynes
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It’s A Twin Thing - Ch 3
Trevor and Jeremy bond and tell embarrassing stories of each other to the women ghosts, including the Great Switch Fiasco of ‘97.
AO3
***
Of course Trevor wasn’t going to be the only embarrassed one in the living room, hence the brothers trading their most embarrassing stories and until the last one that Jeremy tells because Trevor just has to interrupt, “Wait a second, that one wasn’t me. That happened to you!”
Jeremy smirks. “Well, everyone thought I was you – so I think it counts.”
“It doesn’t count as an embarrassing story for me when it was actually you.”
“I think it does because you got teased about it and never corrected anyone,” Jeremy counters.
“Fair,” Trevor says, laughing.
“Exactly how many times did you two switch places?” Alberta asks.
“Oh, based on the number of stories that Trevor has told me – all of the time. I am still certain my theory is true,” Hetty offers, getting confused looks from Alberta and Flower.
“Theory?” Jeremy questions.
Trevor hums. “She thinks that we switched the day I died.”
Jeremy laughs. “So, you think he’s really Jeremy, and I’m really Trevor?”
“It is entirely plausible as none of us knew Trevor or you.”
Jeremy smiles. “I’m impressed that you think I could pull it off for twenty-two years, since I would have the more difficult job if I were actually Trevor pretending to be Jeremy, but I can honestly tell you that we did not switch that day.”
“It’s not like we switched all of the time.”
“Exactly. We only really switched when we wanted to have some fun – liven things up and believe me, none of those switches happened at Trevor’s office or whenever he had one of his parties with his bros after the Great Switch Fiasco of ’97.”
“That sounds juicy,” Alberta says, eagerly. “And embarrassing. You must tell us.”
“Oy vey, please don’t,” Trevor begs. He did not want them finding out about Ari this way.
Jeremy gives him a look. “They don’t know?”
“It wasn’t really something I went around announcing – especially with … everything,” Trevor says, knowing Jeremy would know what he’s referring to.
Before Jeremy could respond, Flower jumps in with, “Is this about you and Ari? Because Alberta and I have known about that for years.”
“Wait – what?”
“Why are you surprised – we’ve literally talked about this?” Flower asks, confused. “We’re best friends – we talk about everything… well, not everything…most things.”
“I’m not surprised about you – I’m surprised about Alberta.”
“Really, Trev? As your ghosts’ roommates knew – your sexcapades were fun to watch,” Alberta states. “And I wanted to be entertained. Besides, I didn’t get to watch the first year because Flower kept it a secret, but after that –”
“Oh my god,” Jeremy says. “You watched him have sex?”
“Well, yeah, it was entertaining.”
“Well, I guess that makes sense – most ghosts are clearly voyeurs.”
“You say that until you hear about what happened the night before the memorial,” Trevor says, shivering. “Oy gevalt, now that is in my head.”
Jeremy is giving him a questioning look, when Hetty huffs.
“I thought you let that go – we were just making sure that all of your efforts to reunite your parents were not for naught. Particularly since your father had already made a complete dunce of himself by taking that work call and you had to sext him to get things back on track.”
Jeremy nearly chokes on his sip of water. “Is she saying what I think she’s saying?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“You watched our parents have sex?”
“NO! I just wanted to get them back together – I got the hell out of there as soon as it seemed possible.”
There’s a lot of overlapping conversation regarding what happened during that visit, which got more and more confusing, so Trevor eventually stopped all talk by telling the whole story of what happened during the memorial weekend, including his and Sam’s plan to get their parents back together and finishing with him realizing that it wasn’t his death that caused the divorce.
“You were always the hopeless romantic – I can’t believe you didn’t notice how awkward they were as we grew up,” Jeremy states. “It was so obvious that I assumed that they had already gotten divorced, and dad just didn’t want to move.”
“Yeah, well – I didn’t realize it, okay? They seemed … perfect…”
“It’s not terrible to believe the best in people, and at least it worked on one of us,” Jeremy offers. “They just didn’t want to upset us – mainly, you, because they knew it would.”
“You weren’t upset?”
“When I first realized it – yeah, but I recovered quickly,” Jeremy offers. “Although, do you remember the year we decided to throw them a fantastic anniversary party?”
“Yeah, when we were sixteen? They were celebrating twenty years – that was the year that we convinced Uncle Charlie to send them to Hawaii as a treat …” it takes a second for him to realize. “Oy vey.”
“Yeah, that was my attempt at getting them back together – so I am not surprised that you attempted the same thing,” Jeremy states.
“That was way better than my attempt.”
“But it didn’t work.”
“Yeah, but it was still a better attempt. They did come back a lot happier.”
“To be fair, you were at a disadvantage. I mean, I spent months planning with you and Uncle Charlie, and you had a day where you couldn’t actually do anything since you’re a ghost and relied entirely on Sam and Jay – and hoping that mom and dad didn’t find things too awkward.”
“Plus, it worked,” Flower says. “It just got ruined by Tara Reid.”
“Yeah, I heard about that,” Jeremy states with a grimace. “I didn’t realize that was going to happen, but I figured if you’re here – it could be… nice.”
“It was nice – until the end,” Trevor states. Then he leans over and whispers, “And someone tried to pretend that she didn’t remember who Tara Reid is when she walked in.”
Hetty huffs. “I cannot remember everything.”
“Uh-huh, or you just wanted my attention because I was busy with my parents and the memorial.”
“It worked,” Hetty states, smugly.
Jeremy laughs. “You two are adorable. I still can’t believe you managed to find a girlfriend in the afterlife.”
As Hetty had moved behind him to sit on the arm part of the couch, she squeezes his shoulder. “It surprised us both, too.”
“But it’s been a good thing,” Trevor says, leaning his cheek against her hand before turning to kiss it.
“It wasn’t surprising to me – I thought it was only a matter of time,” Flower states, smugly.
“Really? You seemed pretty surprised when it came out,” Alberta asks. “I’m still trying to figure out how I didn’t know.”
Flower laughs. “I was surprised that I didn’t already know. I feel like I should’ve known.” Then she looks up at Trevor. “We’re supposed be best friends, Trev, you’re supposed to tell me everything!”
“And I would have – but considering how everyone reacted, keeping it a secret was probably a good decision while we figured things out.”
Of course, they hadn’t exactly figured things out, but they knew that they were committed to each other, and they want to be together, confiding in each other and supporting one another. And Trevor had only kept things a secret because he was trying to respect Hetty’s wish for secrecy. He’d thought about admitting that their fight had been faked to Flower after that chaos but had deciding against it.
“I wouldn’t have judged you,” Flower mutters, obviously upset.
“I know, but it was just… better to figure things out in private.”
“Besides, sneaking around is hot, as Trevor would say,” Hetty offers.
Jeremy grins. “Well, he is an expert at it.”
“Ooooh, dish,” Alberta says, quickly. “Does this have something to do with the Great Switch Fiasco of ’97?”
“It does, actually,” Jeremy says, cheerfully. “And it’s funny now, but it was not funny then.”
“Please don’t tell the story,” Trevor begs.
“Do tell!” Alberta says with Flower humming in agreement.
Jeremy grins, devilishly at Trevor. “Hetty can either tie it or break the tie. What’s your vote, Hetty?”
Hetty looks back and forth between the pleading Trevor and the hopeful Flower and Alberta. Knowing that Jeremy’s going to tell the story anyway, Trevor gives her a slight smile.
“Out voted again, my dear.”
Alberta and Flower cheer as Jeremy launches into the story.
Jeremy had been visiting that weekend, and as always when he visits, Trevor tries a little too hard to get him to ‘let loose’ and as a result is always hungover Monday morning while Jeremy laughs at him. Generally speaking, Trevor asks Jeremy to step in for him before lunch – there were always these awful and useless Monday morning meetings that he just had to be present for and that way he could get better and return to actually working after lunch.
Usually, Trevor and Ari went out to lunch together (which ‘Jeremy’ would join them for in these switching times) and rewarded themselves for making it through those meetings afterward. Thus, Trevor had never told Jeremy about this little fact – since he hated the thing Trevor and Ari had going on – and Trevor usually got to the office in time to enjoy the reward and lunch as they would make the switch during lunch without Ari noticing.
Unfortunately, on that particular Monday, the meetings ended early, and Ari had apparently decided the reward should be before lunch. So, he invited ‘Trevor’ into his office once it ended and had immediately gone for it – kissing and touching Jeremy, who was so surprised that it took him a few minutes before he slid away. Unfortunately, Ari had thought it was part of one of their games and since Jeremy didn’t know the code word, he had chased after him.
Well, that was until Jeremy kneed Ari in the crotch and Trevor appeared in the doorway, unfortunately not alone. Others had heard the chaos and were worried about what was going on. It didn’t take long before everything was figured out.
All three of them had gotten into serious trouble – Ari for trying to have sex with Jeremy in his office, Jeremy for assaulting Ari (even if he was defending himself), and Trevor for having Jeremy stand-in for him since he technically broke his job contract. Ari and Trevor had both been lucky to keep their jobs (and were banned from being alone together in the office while their thing was going on – well, at least for a while), and because Ari knew how important Jeremy was to Trevor and that he’d been wrong to chase after him (even if they played those types of games often) hadn’t gotten him into trouble. Although Jeremy was banned from the office after that – and Trevor had to constantly answer questions that proved his identity whenever he went in for months.
The Fiasco had taught them to be a bit more careful with switching lives.
“And so, never again – at the office.”
“To be fair, it was hot sneaking around at the office,” Trevor states. “I just – learned that you have to be careful.”
“If you had told me that you and Ari had decided that Mondays you have sex in his office after those horribly boring meetings, I would’ve never gone in his office!”
“It had been working for years – and I – I wasn’t anticipating that happening, okay? I was pretty sure he knew when we traded places. I didn’t think I had to worry that he would – you know.”
“Yeah, well, he did,” Jeremy states, sourly. “He was a terrible bed buddy, and I can’t believe he couldn’t tell the difference – besides, he should’ve known better since it wasn’t the first time.”
“Ooooh, when was the first time?” Flower asks, excitedly.
Trevor groans. “We were in college – our first semester at Penn, and we had started fooling around, mainly when we’d been drinking, but hadn’t established anything. Jeremy had surprised me with a visit and since the door was open to my room, he just entered like he owned the place…”
“…Ari was there, just doing his thing, but got excited to see me. It was clear that he was already a little tipsy and he had assumed that I was Trevor because somehow, he didn’t realize we were twins. And I went along with it – until he kissed me.”
“You shouldn’t have answered to my name!”
“We ALWAYS answer to each other’s name! Besides, you didn’t tell me you were sleeping with your roommate!”
“That’s because we were just fooling around!”
“Yeah, well, you know – if you had told me…”
“Alright! Alright! Fair enough,” Trevor states. “Besides, he certainly became more vigilant after that – man, you realize that’s twice you kneed him?”
“He’s lucky I don’t make it a third time after finding out about the lake.”
“You can’t go and knee him just because he threw my body in the lake – besides, the sort-of blackmail worked in our favor since it helped Sam and Jay keep the house and we got back at him during the watch thing.”
“You’re going to have to explain that.”
“It’s a long story.”
“We’ve got time.”
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A Dream Come True - Ch 8
Ch 8 - Catching Up and Making Plans
Trevor's got the IDs and the Woodstone Crew gathers on video chat to discuss the events of the day and make plans.Elsewhere, Trevor's still reeling from his confrontation with Ari.
AO3
***
They left Lehman Brothers much later than intended since Trevor needed to sort out a lot of things with Ari. He'd been truthful when he said that he just wanted to move on with his life. While it was easier with David than it was with Ari, the fact was - they can't change what happened, he and Ari had spent the better part of twenty-two years wishing that things could've been different, and at least, they finally got closure.
Trevor felt a lot better knowing that he had been loved, even if he wasn't enough, those loving, romantic moments between Ari and Trevor had been real. They weren’t just manipulations to get Trevor to keep sleeping with him. The memories weren't tainted by Trevor believing that he wasn't loved by the man he was in love with, anymore. Of course, Ari would go on to do something terrible, but Ari hadn't been using him like Trevor had begun to believe after all this time and knowing that helped him through it all.
Still, despite feeling somewhat better and having that final goodbye – because he sure as hell doesn’t want to see Ari again even if he did forgive him – he couldn’t help being lost in his thoughts as they made their way home as if on remote. There was just a lot to process after all this time. While he’s relieved that his darkest thoughts weren’t true, he spent far too long believing them to be true and one afternoon was not enough to get over it. He’d probably be dealing with it for a long time.
Sass kept talking at him about – well, Trevor couldn’t tell you what – the whole way back home. It felt different, this last trip home. Despite knowing that he should be overwhelmed, he feels the sense of peace.
Like he could finally move on.
Maybe he could find someone to fall in love with, someday. Maybe he could have what he told Sam and Bela he wanted. What he always wanted – even if it wasn’t with the great love of his life. Or maybe he could find a real love of his life – his second life.
And it felt great, if slightly terrifying.
“Trevor, you okay?” Sass asks, as they turn the corner onto his parents’ street.
“Yeah, um, I’m okay – better than expected.” He pauses. “Listen, can you not mention the personal conversation with Ari and David to anyone? I wasn’t intending for you to hear that.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Sass states. “I kind of figured that was a conversation I should never have heard or been a part of. I just…”
“You just, what?”
“If you wanted to talk about it – we could. I mean, when I thought you were just friends, I figured it hurt to find out what he did, but after all that? I mean, no wonder you were doing crazier things than normal. I know that it was probably good news – he wasn’t just using you – but well, it’s gotta suck still. And even if you forgave him, and it seems like you did if David ascending is indication…”
Trevor stops as right before his parents’ house. “Sass, I appreciate the offer – really, I do. I just, uh, I need to process everything that happened today before I can really talk about it and – and although I do appreciate what you’re trying to do here, there’s really only one person I’d want to talk to about this.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s fair.”
“But not right now, so when we tell the story, let’s just leave the romantic relationship issues out of it, okay?”
“Okay.”
They finished their walk up to the house where Trevor doesn’t hesitate to just walk in, despite Sass giving him a look.
“Hey, look who’s finally back,” Flower greets them from the couch in the living room. Jeremy is beside her and it looks like they’re on video chat with the other ghosts, Sam and Jay. It’s interesting that they’re all in different places and still chatting. Pete from his family’s place, Steph from hers, the rest at the mansion, and them at Trevor’s parents’ place.
“I texted you guys updates along the way,” Trevor says, putting up his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves. Of course most of those texts had been only a couple of words. Just enough that they – Jeremy or his parents – wouldn’t worry.
“Why is Sass wearing a suit?” Alberta questions.
“Because this one decided that I needed to ‘fit in’ and put me in a monkey suit,” Sass complains as he tosses the jacket on the bench with his tie that he’d taken off on the train.
Trevor gives him a look because he should be taking better care of the suit, and says, “Personally, I think suits suit you, and yes, fitting in is very important.”
“Uh-huh, how’d things go?” Jeremy questions as Trevor puts Sass’ jacket up, too, before sitting beside him.
“We got what we needed and…”
“… we helped David get sucked off,” Sass finishes and then, grimaces at the laughter in the room. The older ghosts don’t laugh because they haven’t been brought in on the joke, but Sass knows now. To avoid the embarrassment, Sass goes to change.
Jeremy nearly chokes. “David was there – as a ghost – and you helped him move on?”
Trevor nods. “Yeah, apparently, what happened with me when I died was the reason that he was a ghost.”
Jeremy raises his eyebrows at him as if wondering if there was more to the story. Knowing that he would be detailing the story later, Trevor gives him a look that says ‘not now’ and Flower interrupts to say, “Okay, you two can’t agree on anything, but you can read each other’s minds?”
“We can agree on things,” Trevor states.
“Just not always.”
“Or more like rarely.”
“Once in a blue moon.”
“If that blue moon comes like once every millennium,” Trevor offers.
“Nah, it comes more than that.”
“I don’t know – I mean, when was the last time –”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Flower states.
“It’s a twin thing, Flower,” Jeremy states. “As I tried to explain on the ride to your brother’s house, there’s certain things about being an identical twin that leads to things like being able to read each other but doesn’t necessarily mean that we are going to agree on everything or anything really. T and I have always been like exact opposites – so we argue a lot.”
“Speaking of brothers, how was your trip, Flower?” Trevor asks, deferring the conversation as Sass returns dressed in something more comfortable.
“It was great – I was just telling everyone that I think I’m going to help my brother – well, his grandkids – with the family business. He’s got a farm.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“Did everything go alright? You said we were all set in your … texts, but…”
Trevor smiles. “We’re all set.”
“That’s fantastic!”
“Yep.”
Of course, there were questions about everything and a lot of catching up to do despite them only being separated for about a day.
Apparently, Flower wasn’t the only one making plans. Alberta had already begun making plans to sing with her sister’s grandchild, Alicia, once she could reach out to agents. Steph would be finishing high school, and eventually going to college. Isaac wants to be a guest history teacher. Pete wants to be involved in travel, but he’s not sure what. He is, however, planning to move to Philadelphia with Laura, wanting to be as involved as he can be in his daughter’s and grandson’s lives. Thor wants to sail and fish. He’d probably need some help with getting that off the ground and would stick around Woodstone for a while that and hopefully help Bjorn ascend so he wouldn’t feel guilty about being gifted with life when Bjorn wasn’t. Hetty, naturally, did not want to leave and instead, would assist Sam with the B&B.
“That leaves you two,” Flower says, glancing over at him and Sass.
“I’m probably going to hang around here for a while and then, I don’t know – travel a bit?” Trevor suggests. “I need to find myself and nothing says, ‘find yourself’ like a road trip.”
“Sass?”
“Uh, you know, I – I don’t really have a plan right now,” Sass says. “I figure maybe I could hang around the mansion or maybe join you on your road trip?”
Trevor laughs. “You’ve been complaining for twenty-two years about having to deal with me – now, you want to go on a road trip with me?”
Sass shrugs. “Maybe I’ve learned a lot about you today and maybe…”
Trevor shakes his head. “I didn’t say no – I’m just surprised. I’ll think about it.”
Sass nods. “Figure I’ll hang out at Woodstone for now. At least it’ll give me a chance to go see Shiki.”
Trevor nods. That makes sense.
“We’d be delighted to have you,” Jay says, gleefully. “When do you plan to return?”
“Well, we have the IDs now…” Trevor glances at Flower and Sass. Technically with the ID, Flower didn’t have to return to the mansion, and they could just send the stuff with Sass.
Flower is giving him a look like she might not want to return, especially since her plans don’t really include Thor, and Sass hadn’t exactly sounded like he wanted to return anytime soon (after being stuck there for 500 years, that makes sense).
“You guys don’t want to come back?” Alberta questions.
“Oh! You have to come back. You left so fast,” Isaac states.
“Plus, don’t you want to come to my daughter’s wedding?” Pete asks. “We can have a party that weekend – one last hurrah.”
“That’s a great idea, Pete,” Jay says. “We should do that. Besides, you said that you’d come back.”
“And we’re planning on it.”
“Well, actually…” Flower offers, earning looks.
“Please guys, you gotta have a proper send off.”
“Of course we’ll come back,” Trevor states. He did mean it when he said that he wanted to return, besides after the confrontation with Ari, he should probably talk to Hetty before he lets that be the next thing that keeps him on as ghost the next time he dies. “We just need a couple of days; I promised this one I’d go to the doctor once I got an ID.”
He jerks his head to Jeremy, who rolls his eyes. “Technically, we don’t know what killed you –”
“Obviously, I overdosed.”
“Despite it being obvious – you’re going to the doctor if I have to drag you there myself.”
“I never said you’d have to drag me – I just said that you were the reason that I have to go to the doctor tomorrow.”
“You made yourself an appointment?”
“No, but I’m sure you did when I texted you that I had the IDs.”
Jeremy opens his mouth to probably lie and claim otherwise, when Flower says, “Yes, he did.”
“Thank you, Flower,” Jeremy says, giving her a look.
“You know you can’t lie to me,” Trevor states. “Besides, how would you explain an early morning appointment to me – the morning – we call for one.”
“How did you –”
Trevor smiles, “I got a text.”
“Of course you did.”
“Anyway, we’ll be back at the mansion in a couple of days,” Trevor states. “Plenty of time to make the wedding and have one last hurrah.”
Everyone agrees and thus, they spend the rest of the conversation talking about their one last hurrah.
***
Later, much later, because Trevor kept pushing off being alone with Jeremy and having to talk about his issues with Ari and what happened that day. Yet, he knew that they wouldn’t go to bed with discussing it.
So, after they said goodnight to everyone else and changed, Trevor told him the full story of what happened at Lehman Brothers with Ari and David. It surprised him that Jeremy didn’t ask any questions, and he finds himself looking at Jeremy curiously when he finishes.
“You don’t seem surprised.”
Jeremy hums. “Well, honestly, I always thought he was a bastard – still do – but I didn’t think he was that much of a bastard that he didn’t have some level of feelings for you, I just assumed they weren’t enough. And since he never actually told me, it was just my assumption that he’s not a sociopath. Although I’m not terribly convinced.”
“Yeah, if it had been how I thought it was then he definitely would be.”
“But thankfully, it wasn’t.”
“Thankfully?”
Jeremy shakes his head. “T, you might be a mess right now, but if he had been just using you like we both thought and assumed with no feelings whatsoever, you’d be a wreck. And I didn’t want that for you, so I am thankful that he did have feelings for you. That it was real.”
Trevor nods. “Me too. I can’t tell you how broken-hearted I was ever since the watch thing. I was a wreck – I tried to play it off, find other things to distract me at the B&B and trying to distract myself with Sam, get involved with Bela and then, messing around with Hetty… but I was an absolute wreck because before that – it was just an accident, and I never got to tell Ari how I felt because I was a chicken, and I could imagine that it meant something – I went back and forth on that. When I was upset or feeling down, I let those horrible thoughts that he was just using me invade my mind, but when I was feeling good, I’d remember those trips to the cabin, the domestic bliss of life at my condo, and the fun games that we’d play at the office…”
“You two were an HR nightmare, weren’t you?” Jeremy interrupts because he likely doesn’t want to hear those details.
Trevor laughs, “Yes, we were. Especially since we never locked the door…”
Jeremy laughs. “Yeah, you two probably have some sort of ‘risking getting caught’ kink, don’t you?”
“Definitely.” Trevor sighs. “But that was before I knew about the lake – I couldn’t blame them for my overdose, but when I found out about the lake – the only thoughts I had whenever I thought about Ari were those deep, dark thoughts and I had no one to talk to about it.”
“But Flower knew…”
“I didn’t know she knew and the thought of telling any of my ghost family was utterly terrifying. I didn’t feel like I could trust them, not really. Not about Ari.” Trevor shakes his head. “Anyway, I just – that’s it. David’s gone, and I actually said goodbye to Ari and meant it. It feels – I don’t know how it feels, I’m so lost.”
“You need more time to process and I’m here for you while you figure it out.”
“Thanks, J.”
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It's A Twin Thing - Ch 9 The Best Week
Given Jeremy’s artistic abilities and the fact that he can see the ghosts, Sam and Jay had asked if he could commission some paintings of the ghosts and a family portrait with all of them. Of course, this would take some time, so they figured that he could stay all week long.
Jeremy had started with Alberta, which hadn’t gone well. Pete and Flower were the easiest, they’d both asked if their paintings could be more than smiling for the artist. Flower’s included her chasing the butterflies, and Pete’s included him telling the ghosts a story about knots.
This had gone so well, that Alberta had opted to have another concert in which Jeremy painted – trying not to laugh at the other ghosts’ reactions to the concert. Sass muttering about how they have TV now and don’t need to listen to Alberta’s music, Thor complaining about how ‘Don’t be a Rat’ has gotten stuck in his head once again, even Nigel didn’t appear to think of the concert as fun.
Trevor had only gotten through it due to the light teasing touches between him and Hetty as they sat cuddled up on the couch. The concert was so much better when he was thinking about all of the things he and Hetty would do once it was over.
Really, only Pete was as enthusiastic as he always is throughout, and they were all relieved when Alberta had been pleased with the portrait and Jeremy moved onto Isaac and Nigel’s portraits.
Whenever Jeremy wasn’t painting (since he knows how annoyed his brother gets when he’s being distracted from painting), Trevor spent time with him. They discussed everything under the sun and played various games – even if it took so much longer to play these games than it would if he were alive.
Right now, they’re taking a break from Jeremy’s painting to play Jenga in the living room. The only problem is that Trevor can’t lift the piece and has to rely on Jeremy to carefully place it on top of the tower where Trevor tells him to in order to play it.
“I don’t understand this game,” Hetty says, as Trevor struggles to poke only the one piece out of the tower.
“What’s to understand?” Jeremy questions. “You try to make the tower wobbly so that anyone playing could knock it down.”
“Why would one build a tower just to try and knock it down?”
“Because it’s fun.”
Hetty is still looking confused as Trevor tell Jeremy to put it on the left side of the top of the tower.
“You never built anything just to knock it down?” Trevor questions. “When you were little? You know like with Legos?”
“I don’t think Legos were invented in her time,” Jeremy offers as he moves his piece to the top and the tower wobbles but settles.
“That’s easy enough to check, just google it.”
Jeremy gives him a look since he’s not fond of technology but does it anyway. “Oh, 1932 – so definitely after.”
“Isn’t technology the best?”
“No, it’s the worst,” Jeremy counters. “I have no idea why you like it so much.”
“Because you have knowledge at your fingertips. That’s so cool.”
“Instead of actually knowing the information,” Jeremy states.
Trevor laughs. “Right because you’re just supposed to know when Legos were invented off the top of your head?”
Jeremy shrugs. “Okay, maybe not.”
“Anyway, I guess maybe that makes sense,” Trevor offers to Hetty. “It’s just kind of fun to build something and knock it down. I used to love going to the shore and building a sandcastle and then waiting for the tide to come in and take it all away.”
She tilts her head in that adorable way that he enjoys so much, as she asks, “How much time did you spend building these ‘sandcastles’?”
Trevor shrugs. “Usually an hour or so, I mean I never timed it. Why?”
“So, you spent all that time building something that would be destroyed at any time, and that was fun for you?”
Jeremy laughs. “I also didn’t understand the sandcastle thing, but Trevor loved it – I think he always enjoyed the risk of it being destroyed before he could officially finish it. Always living on the edge.”
“I wouldn’t call that living on the edge, J,” Trevor retorts as he knocks off another piece. The tower wobbles and settles before Jeremy places it on top. “Besides, you didn’t understand because you hated the beach and sand.”
“I didn’t hate the beach and sand; I just preferred a pool with less people.”
“Uh-huh. Because you’re not the social butterfly I am?”
“No because I just preferred a quieter atmosphere.”
“Life is about fun and fun can’t happen in quiet atmospheres.”
“I beg to differ,” Jeremy counters. “We’re having fun right now and it’s a quieter atmosphere.”
Trevor gives him a look. “You know what I meant.”
“I do, but I still think you can have fun my way, too.”
“Uh-huh, totally believe you.”
Before any of them could speak again, Jay comes by yelling about something just as Jeremy was setting a piece down. It causes him to twitch and knock the tower over.
“YES! I WIN!”
“That doesn’t count! Jay shocked me into knocking it down.”
“Still counts!” Trevor says, doing his little T-Money thing which earns a playful eyeroll from Hetty.
“You’re such a dork.”
“Am not,” Trevor counters. “You’re just bitter because you lost to a ghost.”
“I’m not bitter, I’m just saying – it’s Jay’s fault.”
“Uh-huh. Play again?”
“Nah, I told Thor I would paint him by the lake, want to come with?”
“Not really a big fan of the lake,” Trevor states, giving him a look. “Besides, I think it’s time for Hetty’s show anyway.”
Jeremy chuckles. “Enjoy, I’ll find you later.”
“Sounds good.”
***
For Hetty’s painting, she had originally wanted to be alone, thought that she would look more imposing, but then she spotted the happy painting of Isaac and Nigel walking hand in hand down by the lake, and realized that she never had had something like that with Elias. She never thought she would want something like that with a partner, largely because Elias had been the only partner that she had anticipated.
Now though, she has Trevor.
Except, well, they had only been together for six months and only just came out to the house. She had not even admitted to her feelings, although she’s sure that Trevor knows that she carries feelings for him. What if things did not work out? What if Trevor does not want to be immortalized in a romantic painting with her forever?
She frowns, she could not expect that of him, so she tries to do one on her own out in the gazebo. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be go well judging by the whispers between Trevor and Jeremy.
After about twenty minutes, Trevor comes to join her.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Trevor offers.
“I want to,” Hetty assures him.
“Then why do you keep frowning?” Trevor questions. “Is it giving you memories of Elias sleeping with the last painter?”
“Oh, um, no.”
“Then what is it? You can tell me,” Trevor assures her. He lifts her hands to his lips and kisses them. “I promise that you can.”
“I – it is silly.”
“I love when things are silly.”
Hetty chuckles. “That is because you are silly most of the time.”
Trevor hums. “Talk to me, Hetty, tell me what’s wrong, please?”
Hetty hums. “I was looking through Jeremy’s paintings…”
“They’re fantastic, aren’t they?” Trevor asks, clearly proud of him.
“Naturally, and I saw the one of Isaac and Nigel… together and in love.” She looks down. “I never had that with Elias, but I thought… with you… but then… I thought maybe it is too much to ask…”
Trevor smiles. “I would love to be in your portrait with you … unless you’d rather it be someone else?”
Hetty chuckles. “I would definitely like it to be you.”
“Good.”
He gives her a kiss, and then moves so he’s standing behind her and slightly to the side, his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder. “Does this work?”
She smiles and places her arms on his. “I think so.”
It takes some time, naturally. Especially since Trevor kept teasing her by kissing her neck or whispering naughty things in her ear, but eventually, she had a portrait with Trevor that looked better than her wedding portrait. She loves it.
***
Finally, it was time for the family portrait. Jeremy had managed to do individual paintings, but Sam wanted one with everyone, which meant sitting or standing in the living room in certain positions for probably hours. Not that Trevor was complaining … at least for now.
He was next to Hetty, which meant that he could steal kisses whenever Jeremy looked at his easel to do the actual painting. It was like a game – how long could they kiss before someone inevitably comments. Since they were standing behind Sam and Jay, who were in the middle of the couch, they weren’t exactly hiding in the same way that Flower and Thor were beside them or Isaac and Nigel on the other side.
He couldn’t help chuckling whenever one of the other couples would try and get their attention away from one another. Especially since it didn’t seem to work.
The fact that they could enjoy being together, touching, whispering, kissing… it was just too much for either of them to let go. Thus, it was only when Jeremy would ask them to look at him for the painting that they actually broke apart and behaved.
It helps, of course that they’re facing each other – lightly turned toward one another in the painting, so it makes it easy for Hetty to lightly pull on his tie whenever she wants a kiss. She trails her hands down his chest and then leans in to whisper, “I am sorry that we did not come out sooner – it is so much more fun to tease you now.”
Trevor chuckles. “You won’t hear me complaining.”
“I’m complaining,” Sass grumbles, but it’s low. He’s still about salty by Jeremy suggesting that he might be attracted to one of them.
“Complaining won’t get you any loving, Sass, just saying,” Trevor teases.
“Trevor!”
Trevor laughs. “Come on – that was funny.”
Hetty hums. “It really is too bad that you choose to complain, Sasappis, because I can tell you that Trevor is a very great lover.”
Sam and Jeremy, who’d been taking sips when she says this, do spit takes, while everyone else (aside from Jay) react in ‘why did you have to say something like that’ ways. Trevor laughs so hard he would have had tears in his eyes if he could.
“Okay, I think were done with the portrait for today,” Sam states, when she recovers. “I – just – I … I never want to hear anymore, Hetty, thank you.”
She doesn’t wait for a response, as she quickly takes off, Jay confused behind her. Most of the other ghosts also disappear, while Trevor’s still laughing.
“What is so funny?” Hetty questions.
Jeremy coughs, clearing his throat. “There’s something these days called TMI – too much information. I imagine that Trevor finds it funny that right now everyone’s imagining you two in bed together.”
Hetty huffs. “I only spoke the truth.”
“It’s about the image, Hetty,” Jeremy offers. “Anyway, why don’t we play a game for a while instead?”
“Sounds brilliant.”
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It’s A Twin Thing - Ch 2
The brother reunite for the first time in over 22 years and Jeremy gets introduced to everyone.
AO3
***
Trevor can’t believe it. When he had felt that Jeremy was close, he’d reluctantly asked to pause what he’d been doing with Hetty to go find out if he was really nearby. He had expected her to be upset and tell him he was being stupid that he couldn’t actually feel Jeremy, but she had taken it in stride and told him that she hoped Jeremy really had come to visit. To go up the stairs and see Jeremy standing there with Sam – to see him and realize he was here and probably still wouldn’t get to talk about everything he’d been thinking about lately because of course Sam wouldn’t want to seem like a whack job, but at least he’d get to see him.
Then, of course, he couldn’t stop the ‘Jeremy’ from slipping from his lips and his brother had actually turned to him. He’d heard him! He could see him!
It was better than he could have ever imagined.
And then, the next thing he knew, he was hugging him.
He could HUG his brother!
It was completely unbelievable and yet…
He doesn’t want to let go, worried that this was a dream. Worried that he had fallen asleep with Hetty in the basement and was just allowing for a dream come true.
Yet, it couldn’t last forever as he hears Jay asking, “Okay, what the hell is going on?”
He supposes that Jay seeing Jeremy hug air probably seems far stranger than anything else that had happened in this house, which is saying something for sure.
“Uh, this is – Jeremy – Trevor’s brother,” Sam says, hesitatingly.
“Well, that much was obvious. He looks just like him,” Jay states.
They loosen their grips, but don’t let go completely.
“You can see him?” Jeremy asks.
“No, he can’t – we had a memorial, remember?” Trevor offers as Jay laughs and says, “Nah, I saw his dating profile.”
“Dating profile?” Jeremy questions, raising an eyebrow.
“Will you please let that go?” Trevor begs, not that it matters since Jay can’t hear him.
“You realize that he can’t hear you, right?”
“Of course I do.” Trevor rolls his eyes. “Why did Sam hesitate when she said ‘Jeremy’?”
“When she saw me – she may have said, ‘Trevor?’ and I didn’t exactly correct her.”
Trevor laughs because he wouldn’t have either. Force of habit. Always just stepping into each other’s lives as if no one would notice. Still, he’s surprised that Jeremy did it even if he was obviously there to see him.
But accepting his name as Trevor for a minute is nothing compared to the fact that he could see and touch him.
“How…?” Trevor starts to ask, but before he could formulate the question – he realizes that he already knows the answer.
“It’s a twin thing,” they say together.
“I mean, I guess I don’t know for sure, I’ve only met one other person –”
“The woman I bought the condo from?” Trevor questions, vaguely remembering the strange woman that had decided to sell her condo to Trevor to move out to the country where her twin had died… “I thought we didn’t believe her?”
“We sort of did, didn’t we?” Jeremy questions, with a shrug.
He was right. After all, Jeremy had always been into the supernatural and Trevor had played along on a – I love my brother, so I’ll play along – level. Despite the fact that Jeremy rarely ever stayed at the condo (he always hated the city), Trevor had played along by leaving the TV or radio on when he was gone so whatever ghosts were there wouldn’t be bored…
“Wait a second, that means –” that the ghosts she mentioned were there, were actually there.
“Yeah. Exactly,” Jeremy states. “At least they really loved you – you were very entertaining.”
Trevor can’t help laughing. Of course he was – all those crazy stunts he pulled, the parties he had, his crazy sexcapades, plus, leaving the radio and TV on? They probably had a field day watching his life.
His laugh is infectious as Jeremy starts laughing, too.
It feels so good to be able to laugh and hear that he had some ghost roommates that he had apparently entertained for a few years at least. He bet they wished he was still there – his life was anything but boring.
Trevor can vaguely hear talking and complaints from his fellow ghosts who are largely confused before there’s a clearing of Hetty’s throat from beside them.
Naturally, he should introduce Jeremy to Hetty – they may not be traditionally dating, but there’s nothing traditional about ghost dating anyway.
“Right, uh, I’m guessing by the surprised looks on everyone’s faces that they didn’t know that you can see ghosts?” Trevor asks, somewhat confused.
“I’ve spent over twenty years perfecting the ability to ignore ghosts – no offense to those present – but every ghost I’ve met forgets what it looks like to those living and it was necessary if I wanted to leave the house,” Jeremy states. “So, when I came in, I just ignored them – I mean, I came here looking for you.”
Trevor understands. There’s no way Jeremy would’ve acknowledged the ability if Trevor hadn’t been at the mansion.
“Still, I guess that means I should introduce you to everyone,” Trevor offers. He doesn’t wait for the nod as he gestures to Hetty, who had evidently wanted to be introduced. “This is Hetty.”
Jeremy smiles and disentangles his arm from Trevor’s, to shake her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
He gives Trevor a look that Trevor’s familiar with – it’s the ‘are you dating this person’ look. Trevor returns the look with the positive, even though no one else would be able to tell.
“That’s Jay – you met Sam, and –” before he can think who to introduce first the rest of the ghosts rush forward to introduce themselves. It’s fitting that they continue their exact same introductions – Flower and the drugs/bear, Thor and his fish, Isaac wanting to give his speech, ect. It takes several minutes for everyone to calm down and meet Jeremy.
Finally, Sam offers to set up a room for Jeremy – Trevor’s old room and Jay offers to make tea and snacks for the brothers, well, Jeremy. Jeremy admits that he didn’t exactly have a plan just that he was finally certain that he wanted to see Trevor, thus, they decide to sit in the living room to chat.
Trevor’s relieved that he doesn’t ask about the pants thing, but then, he probably doesn’t need to once Trevor mentioned the party had been for a promotion. Jeremy knew all about the hazing that happened, and that Trevor had more than once come home without pants in an effort to circumvent that dumbass run of fun nonsense.
He’s actually kind of amazed the other ghosts hadn’t realized he’d done it before, but maybe he just got lucky. … Until his luck ran out.
They sit opposite each on the couch, turned towards each, one leg bent in. It sort of exposed Trevor, if not for his tie, but he’s not worried about Jeremy being put off by it – and he’s rather hoping it would scare off the other ghosts. Leave him and his brother alone.
He can tell by the slight look from Hetty and Jeremy that they both knew what he was doing, unfortunately, it was rare for the ghosts to get to talk to a living – let alone one that had probably seen and dealt with many more ghosts than Sam had and had information on their housemate – and it was not enough to deter them away from the pair of brothers.
Thus, the conversation fell into somewhat superficial things. All of the ghosts cared more about his ability than anything in particular with regards to him or Trevor. Thus, instead of getting to chat with Jeremy about all of the things left unsaid, he learned about the ghosts in his condo, the ones at Jeremy’s gallery, and how he was able to learn to ignore them.
Not exactly what he’d been looking forward to when he felt Jeremy’s presence.
***
It took an unfortunate amount of time before the ghosts became less excited about Jeremy’s presence and at least the ones that he wouldn’t want to discover some of his secrets – mainly Isaac and Nigel (really, Nigel) – had finally gone off on their own. Leaving him and Jeremy with Hetty, Alberta and Flower, who were still clearly interested.
Since he has always been close to Alberta and Flower, and he’s been confiding in Hetty for months, he gives Jeremy a little look, who knows it’s okay to switch to less superficial things.
Jeremy opens his mouth to no doubt ask how he died, since his parents had no idea – his bones had not given anything away, but before he does, Trevor says, “Overdose.”
Jeremy doesn’t seem completely surprised. “How…?” did you end up in the lake?
“How do you think?” Trevor asks, not wanting to actually say it.
Jeremy shakes his head. “Going to his office once a year to bug him and ask questions has clearly not been enough.”
Jeremy doesn’t have to explain who ‘he’ is because he’s always hated Ari, in particular.
“You didn’t seriously –”
“Of course I did,” Jeremy states. “Any excuse to drive him crazy.”
Trevor laughs. Jeremy’s visits definitely helped soften the blow and helped make the whole watch thing a bit worse for Ari, which means Trevor can feel better about forgiving him. Which he’d done probably far too easily if he went by the standards of his fellow ghosts on forgiveness – well, except Nigel, who blew passed the whole ‘Isaac murdered him’ and wanted to date him right away.
“You never did like him.”
“With good reason.”
“My turn – why…?”
Jeremy shrugs. “I’ve tried to come here a dozen times since I found out this is where you were…”
“And yet…”
“I guess I was just afraid…”
He doesn’t have to explain what he was afraid of, if he’d be in Jeremy’s position – he’d be afraid, too. Especially since Trevor had already considered that his connection to Jeremy could be the reason that he’s the ghost – although he’d never blame him.
“I get it,” Trevor says, softly. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m happy to be here. I’ve spent so long wondering – hoping that seeing ghosts didn’t actually mean what I thought it meant even though it was … obvious.”
“I’m sorry,” Trevor replies, quietly.
While he didn’t care that his own stupidity had ended his life – he’d rather make the most of life and take that risk than be boring and safe and live a long life – he had absolutely felt the heartbreak of his actions for Jeremy. Jeremy had to go on without him. Jeremy had to deal with birthdays and holidays where people might mistake him for Trevor, knowing that he was gone. Jeremy had to look in the mirror every day and see his face looking back at him.
It couldn’t have been easy – any of it. And yet, he had shouldered on for the last twenty years without him.
And worse – with a horrible new power that reminded him every day that his brother was stuck as a ghost somewhere and maybe dreams… considering that Trevor had dreams of Jeremy.
“You shouldn’t be – you didn’t know what was going to happen.”
“I should’ve been more careful – done less stupid things.”
“Then you wouldn’t be Trevor,” Jeremy states, a smile on his lips. “And I couldn’t imagine you any other way.”
“Yeah, and we’d have less excitable stories to listen to,” Flower says. “Like the time you robbed a bank!”
“That was you, Flower,” Trevor says, laughing. “But yeah, I do have some interesting stories that would be a lot less interesting if I had been more cautious and careful.”
Jeremy smiles. “Besides, there’s nothing we can do to change things now and I’m just happy to be here to meet your friends and your girlfriend.”
Trevor and Hetty both widen their eyes, as Alberta sputters, “Girlfriend? Didn’t you two break up three months ago?”
“You didn’t actually believe that, did you?” Flower asks.
Alberta gives her a look. “You didn’t?”
“Of course not!”
Alberta and Flower continue to argue about if it should’ve been obvious that they had ‘fake broken up’, while Trevor looks at Hetty uncertainly. Yeah, they were together and yeah, they spent a lot of time together – not just sexy time either – he’d been sneaking into her room with Flower every time Flower opted to sleep with Thor (which she did most nights – maybe because she knew what was happening with them?), but they had never labeled it. Lover had been the closest term Hetty had agreed to, and he did not want this to mess up what they have.
It surprises him when Hetty nods ever so slightly as if indicating that it was okay, and he explains everything that had happened in the last six or so months. He doesn’t care about outing Nigel’s blackmail and softens the whole ‘embarrassment’ aspect, but he never lies to his brother -omits things, yes, lies, no –, but after so many years and sort of wanting to get everything out to the one person he trusts above all – he doesn’t leave anything out.
“You somehow have a more interesting afterlife than I could have ever imagined,” Jeremy states, when he finishes. “I’m glad that it has all worked out for now, but,” here he looks at Hetty, “it’d be good if you were good to him. Sounds like you have been, lately.”
“J,” Trevor says, warningly, but Hetty smiles.
“I promise I will be.”
Jeremy smiles at her and gives him a superior look. “Now, would you like to hear some embarrassing stories about him?”
“Yes,” the women say together as Trevor says, “No.”
Hetty grins, as she moves to sit across from them. “We voted and you lost, dear.”
“Yeah, you lost dear,” Flower says, as she sits on the floor nearby. “Go on J-dog, tell us all of the embarrassing stories!”
“Yeah, I’m dying to hear more about Trev,” Alberta adds, also sitting.
“You’re all the worst.”
“And yet, you love us anyway,” Flower says, excitedly.
Jeremy grins, “Well, my favorite was when…”
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A Dream Come True - Ch 7
Ch 7 - Facing the Past
Trevor goes to see Ari and faces the past and all his troubles.
AO3
***
Trevor’s nervous as he and Sass follow Ari’s secretary into his office. Sass had been a pain in the ass throughout the journey to Lehman Brothers, complaining about the ‘monkey suit’ since Trevor insisted that they both wear suits to blend in with the crowd in the building.
He’s sure that Sass is just trying to distract him from his nerves and being too overwhelmed, but ever since they got off subway near the office, he’d been overwhelmed with memories. Memories of the life he had here, the life that moved on without him. It got worse with every step towards the office, and he had had to stop and brace himself before entering said office. Ari’s office was in a far corner, which meant they had to walk passed dozens of cubicles with people his age (dead or alive), some of which he even recognized, but they didn’t recognize him. After all, why would they? He didn’t mean anything to them.
Just like he didn’t mean anything to Ari…
As they enter his office, Ari doesn’t even look up as he says, “I wasn’t expecting you for another seven months, Jeremy. Don’t you usually visit to yell at me in November?”
“I bet you weren’t expecting me at all,” Trevor says as the door closes behind them and tries to shake the overwhelming memories of the two of them alone in this office doing inappropriate things. Is that the same desk?
Ari’s head snaps up so fast that Trevor’s surprised that he doesn’t break it. “Trevor?”
Trevor grins. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“What – how?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor states as he and Sass sit across from Ari. “All I know is that I went to bed a ghost on Friday night and woke up alive on Saturday morning. And personally, I don’t really care how it happened, what I do care about though, is that myself and my fellow ghosts can get established to start over anew and I figured that you –”
“You don’t have to threaten me, T. I’m happy to help you and your fellow ghosts,” Ari says, cutting him off because he knew exactly where Trevor was going with that.
It’s still a bit uncanny how Ari was always able to understand him. Although in this case, it was probably obvious. Trevor gestures to Sass who hands Ari an envelope with the details about each of their fellow newly alive ghosts.
It’s slightly awkward as Ari begins doing what he needs to do to get everything situated and Sass hasn’t even been introduced, but before Trevor could suggest that Sass leave the room so he can address the issue between him and Ari, a new voice enters the room.
“Holy crap, is that Trevor Lefkowitz?”
The voice says it the same way said it when Ari appeared at the mansion.
Trevor and Sass turn to the voice to spot none other than David Woodstone in a messed-up suit and bloodshot eyes. “David?”
“David?” Ari asks, confused. “David’s dead – then again, so were you.” He glances around confused. “But I don’t see him here…”
“That’s because he’s a ghost,” Trevor states, off-handedly. “Pinkus told me you died from drinking, but I didn’t realize it was here.”
“Pinkus? When did you see Pinkus?” Ari asks, as David asks, “You can see me? I don’t understand.”
Trevor shakes his head. “I was a ghost – at Woodstone Mansion, but two days ago, I woke up alive and we figured the whole having been a ghost is the reason that we can see ghosts.”
“We?”
“Yeah, Sass was there, too,” Trevor states, gesturing to him. “He’s actually been there for 500 years.”
“And I wasn’t the only the one,” Sass states. “By the way, you idiots were fun to mess with. Can’t believe you came back month after month not realizing we were screwing with your parties.”
“Wait, what?” Ari and David ask together.
“Oooooh, that makes a lot more sense now,” Trevor states. Despite living there for twenty years and knowing about the ghosts’ powers, he hadn’t put those facts together.
“You really didn’t know?” Sass asks, as both Ari and David give him a look.
“No, it hadn’t occurred to me,” Trevor states. “Aw, man, how’d I not know?”
Sass laughs. “Should’ve realized that you –”
“Are either of you going to explain?” Ari asks, clearly annoyed.
“You remember how whenever we could we’d go to Woodstone Mansion and have our parties there?” Trevor asks and they both nod. “Well, remember how we’d get super high out of nowhere and we would hear humming, and then, sometimes it would stink, and the lights wouldn’t work properly?”
David frowns, “Those things weren’t just because it was an old house?”
“No, it was the ghosts that lived there – Flower makes people high; Isaac makes it stink, Alberta hums, and Thor affects the lights,” Trevor states, somewhat excited that he finally figured out the weird happenings at those parties. It explained a lot, now that he thinks about it.
“Fascinating,” Ari states, somewhat sarcastically.
“It really is,” David states, in awe. Evidently, he’s thinking of the times weird things happened at the mansion. “I make people drunk, which makes sense given I died of alcohol poisoning.”
“Yeah, Flower died really high, so that’s why she makes people high, so it makes sense that you would make people drunk – I could touch things,” Trevor states. Then he shakes his head. “Anyway. We came here to get Ari’s help in establishing our new lives and IDs, and … well, for another reason.”
Ari turns back to his computer. “Yeah, I figured that you might want to talk about what happened last year. I’m guessing you’ve known all along what we did.”
“Actually, no,” Trevor states. “After I died, the ghosts took me into another room – I had no idea that you didn’t try to help me or that you threw my body in the lake because you were 70% cocaine and that was more important to you than I was –”
“T, I –”
“No, you don’t get to speak,” Trevor states, sternly. “Did you know that I was excited to see you? I didn’t have a clue what you did for twenty years. Until you showed up for the watch and started acting squirrelly when Sam asked you about me. I was so confused. How could the man that was my best friend – my lover – pretend that he didn’t know me?”
“I – I’m sorry.”
“No – you’re not,” Trevor states. “You know Sass had to tell me the story that day – so I would understand the bullshit you pulled. I was so furious that I couldn’t even look at you, but I still protected you! Sam and Alberta wanted to ruin your life by having Sam write an article exposing what you did, but I told them no. I didn’t want to ruin your life – and I’m sure you know why…”
“Trevor…”
“… but Sass came up with a way to make me feel better and it worked, somewhat,” Trevor states. “But looking at you now – I just – I need to know – why did you do it? Was being high really enough? Did I really mean so little to you? I want to know what the hell happened.”
“Mean so little?” Ari scoffs. “I was madly in love with you since we were eighteen! You meant the world to me but I –”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Trevor yells, rhetorically as he stands up and leans on the desk. “You didn’t love me – you treated me like nothing more than a fuck buddy! And worse – you threw me in the lake after I overdosed and lied to my family about it for twenty years! If you loved me – you would’ve never done those things!”
“I did love you, Trevor!” Ari insists, also standing up. “I’ve loved you since that moment that I realized how amazing you were – the moment that my dad found out that you’re bisexual and you stood up and proved that you could do what I always wished I could do! Stand up to my father!”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not!” Ari yells. “Think about it, Trevor. You and I started fooling around our first week at Penn, but it never stopped. We tried over and over again to stop but we always ended up together sooner or later – I practically lived at your condo – all of our friends knew what was going on – I never said the words, but I sure as hell loved you.”
Trevor scoffs. “Right – you expected me to believe that when you were constantly throwing me at every woman on the planet, when you were always setting me up or talking about people that would interest me as if it wasn’t obvious that I was a fool for you that you really loved me all that time! How do you expect me to believe that?”
“Think about it, T!” Ari yells. “Think about the moment I just talked about – the moment I fell in love with you was the moment I knew that I didn’t deserve you!”
“WHAT?”
“I was never going to be able to come out to my father without getting disowned – I knew from the moment that he found out about you that if I ever decided to come out that he would disown me – hell, he was pretty adamant that he didn’t want us being friends! Can you imagine if I told him I was in love with you? That I wanted you and only you for the rest of my life?” Ari questions, rhetorically. “I kept thinking – wanting things to just be about getting laid, but it was never just that. And I knew – I knew – that the only way that we could be together – that we wouldn’t be a secret to our parents – that we could date openly, and maybe even get married – that I would have to face my father and be disowned, and I couldn’t do that. I was a spoiled little rich kid that screwed up and always called daddy for help. I was never going to be able to give that up.”
Trevor’s shaking his head. Ari’s father was bastard of the highest order, but surely even he would’ve eventually accepted the relationship between Ari and Trevor (even if he did hate Trevor for being openly bisexual).
“You don’t really expect me to believe that.”
Ari scoffs. “Come on, my father was a bastard of the highest order. He was a take no prisoners, my way or the highway type and I was his screw up of a son! This was the one thing I knew would break it all and I just – I couldn’t do it … no matter how much I loved you, I couldn’t give up the power my father held – in case I screwed something else up.”
“Fine! Say I believed you – why the hell did you keep sleeping with me knowing how I felt? Why put me through the hell of being with someone I thought didn’t love me? Why wouldn’t you just tell me? You know I would’ve understood!”
“I wanted to do the right thing! I tried over and over again to find you someone that you could fall in love with, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be with you – all those nights that I tried to suggest we just be normal bros only to fall into old habits. I wanted you, even when I knew I shouldn’t have you – it wasn’t fair.” Ari sighs and sits back down. “Sometimes, I thought I’d convince myself to risk everything for you and I’d get all excited that I was finally going to do the right thing – even planned celebrations –, but I chickened out every time because I'm a coward, and I felt so guilty. I – I just … wanted to be the man that you deserved.”
Suddenly, everything made sense. He and Ari had gone on trips once a month just the two of them to this remote cabin in the mountains. Ari always surprised him with the trip invitation a few days before and even though they always had the best time, those trips always felt like there was a point to them. More than just ‘let’s get laid’.
The following week, however, Ari would always try and throw him at anything that moved. As if realizing that they couldn’t be together, and that Trevor deserved better. It’s as if he wanted to do the right thing but kept falling into old patterns. They were like two magnets attracted to each other even when they knew they shouldn’t be.
“I think I need a minute.”
Trevor doesn’t wait for a response as he makes his way out of Ari’s office out onto the balcony of building at the end of the short hallway. He’s surprised by the somewhat cooler air than he’d been expecting, but it doesn’t matter. Everything he’d been thinking for the last thirty years about his and Ari’s pseudo relationship was completely just turned on its’ head.
He thought Ari was a bastard just like his father – and he was in a way – but not because of the way he conducted himself in their relationship, but because he let his father dictate his life and didn’t bother to tell Trevor the truth about his feelings making the entire situation worse for Trevor, who spent his entire adult life feeling like he was used by his best friend and meant nothing to him.
Trevor paces back and forth muttering to himself about why Ari would think not telling him about his feelings would make the situation in any way better. It was so stupid – Trevor would’ve understood. It’s not like he didn’t know how much Ari’s father hated him, and yet, instead, he just believed that Ari was the problem not his father.
“I’m sorry,” a voice says behind him, causing him to jump.
He turns to see David, and can’t help asking, “Why are you sorry?”
“Because I told Ari that he was a shit friend for dragging you along for the ride. That if he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to stand up against his father for you that he doesn’t deserve you – that it was utter bullshit that he gave you so much heartache. I told him over and over again to let you go – to help you find love with someone else or at least not to interfere, but most importantly, I told him not to tell you how he felt. That he couldn’t – shouldn’t put you in the position of being his dirty little secret for the rest of your lives. You were the best of all of us and you deserved better than that.”
Well, at least Trevor knows where Ari got his bad advice from. It would make sense given the looks he often caught between Ari and David whenever they’d off-handedly mentioned that they had plans together or had spent any amount of time alone together and the times he’d caught them arguing only to stop short when they spotted Trevor. David obviously thought that despite his feelings what Ari was doing to Trevor was too cruel to continue.
In fact, it made even more sense when he thinks about those nights where they’d go out and Ari became obsessed with finding Trevor a girl – oddly, never a guy since those usually happened after some scene in the office and looks or fights between David and Ari.
“I thought I was protecting you – I thought it would help you move on if you didn’t know he actually had feelings.”
At this, Trevor bursts out laughing.
“David, do you have any idea how many of my relationships ended with ‘how long have you been in love your best friend’? Do you have any idea how many ended with ‘are you blind? Clearly your best friend is in love with you’? Do you have any idea how many ended with ‘how long have you two been pining for each other’? Or my favorite – ‘you’re an idiot if you think that you’ll ever be able to move on when you see the man that you’re in love with every day’.”
“And that’s not including the ones that figured out what we were doing with each other. Those usually ended up in ultimatums – them or him – I always chose him. Except one.” Trevor shakes his head looking out at the water. “Nicky – she was amazing – she knew what Ari and I got up to together and was surprisingly cool with it. She liked to watch and order me around and oh god, it was hot –” he gets lost in the memory for a minute before clearing his throat and saying, “Anyway, I always told them that Ari – didn’t feel that way for me and I’d be stupid to wait around and hope that one day he might see me as more than a piece of ass – that I wanted to try with them. That I wanted to find happiness with someone else…”
“Sounds like I should’ve kept my big nose out of it,” David states.
Trevor sighs. “I appreciate what you were trying to do – your heart was in the right place, although it was misguided.”
“Maybe if I hadn’t intervened – he would’ve told you his feelings and… maybe it would’ve helped you both,” David sighs.
“It’s not on you, David. We both made our own choices,” Trevor states. “I never worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt and ask him what the hell we were doing – although I was planning on it that weekend.”
“The weekend you died?”
Trevor nods. “I told myself that I wouldn’t keep hurting myself. That I needed to get the situation under control – even if it meant leaving Lehman Brothers to … to be without him. I planned a leave of absence just in case – the same leave that you two used to cover up what happened to me.”
David looks away. “I wanted to call an ambulance…”
“I know,” Trevor states, plainly. “But you didn’t – and then, what you did do was far worse. I blame Ari’s bastard of a father for the idea, but you three chose to follow through.”
“I know – I know, and I have regretted it every day for the rest of my life and afterlife and so has Ari,” David states, sincerely. “It was the worst thing I have ever done in my entire life and I’ve done some screwed up things, and I have thought of nothing else than wanting to tell you that I’m sorry, that I could never make it up to you, and that I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope that some day for your sake that you do forgive us.”
Trevor doesn’t have to ask him to clarify because he knows what David’s thinking – that the reason Trevor was stuck was because he hadn’t forgiven them for what they did to his body – it would have been a good assumption if Trevor had known, but he hadn’t and he’s pretty sure Ari was his unfinished business. Still…
"I do forgive you, David, because I know that you mean it and I know that mistakes were made - it hurt, still hurts, to think about what you did, what you both did," Trevor states, eyes sliding to Ari and Sass in the doorway. He's not sure how long they've been there, but probably long enough. "But honest to God, I can't bring myself to hate you - either of you. I want to - I should hate you, but I don't - I can't. It takes too much energy to hate you – to be angry with you. I feel like I’m weighted down by this anger I had when I found out, but I can’t – I can’t do it anymore. Both of you were such a big part of my life - a good part - I spent years telling our stories to the ghosts and I still look back on those days as the best of my life..."
"No matter how angry I should be, I'm not angry. I don't hate you. I just want to move on. Let go of what happened - I have a second lease on life and I'm not going to ruin it with what ifs or pointless anger because we can't go back and change it," Trevor states. “So, I forgive you – both of you.”
They're staring at him in disbelief, but before anyone could say anything, a light opens up above David and he glances up. "Oh, my god."
Something must show on his face because Ari asks, "What's happening now?"
"He's getting sucked off," Sass says in awe.
"What?"
Both Trevor and Sass shush him as they focus on David.
"Thank you, Trevor and again, I'm sorry."
Trevor smiles. "I know, and I'm happy for you."
David smiles. "Don't waste this new life of yours, you deserve everything you've always wanted."
Trevor nods and with that, David's gone. Finally, at peace.
It takes a moment before Trevor remembers Ari and Sass in the doorway. "There are some things I need to talk to you about..."
"Let's go back to my office."
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