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blackhyena · 3 years

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gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not

5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire

8. Paper or electronic books? paper

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously

11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche

13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!

15. Which element best represents you? this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend

20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen.

25. What is your star sign? libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)

27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?

31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!

32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.

40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat

41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.

44. What is your most used emoji? red love heart emoji....

45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...

46. What do you regret the most? not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?

47. Last movie you saw? belle!

48. Last tv show you watched? succession

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat.

i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess

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ohtheseboysilove · 5 years

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Sexy panties to dirty nappies [Ben Hardy x F!Reader] IV

Words : 4, 200 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, smut

Summary : Reader is eight months pregnant. The only problem ? She just find out. Yep, pregancy denial. Now, they only got one month to be ready for the baby. Ready…steady…go !

Note : Not you’re not dreaming !!! The new chapter is here after 16325 years of waiting !!! I think we got two maybe three more chapters before the eeeend

🌼Request are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“It’s impressively well-done for a fake pregnant belly”

“It’s a real one”

“I mean look at the details and all, I can’t see the strap to take it off! ”

“I told you it’s my real skin, you dummy”

“You’re almost convincing sweetheart but you can’t be– holy shit ! Your fake stomach just fucking kick me !”

“Joseph, for the tenth times, I’m pregnant and the kick you just felt, it’s our baby girl” You scoffed as the ginger man looked at your belly with wide eyes.

“But– I saw you in a thigh dress last month, I’m sure I wouldn’t have missed your...” He gestured to your swollen abdomen. “...imposing hum state”

You and Ben had currently some of your closest friends at your place and they were all shocked by the new but they mostly congratulated you for the baby’s coming. Joe couldn’t believe the pregnancy’s denial thing, not that he thought you were lying, he just had a hard time to process.

“Do you have any idea for a name ?” Lucy asked with a soft smile.

You and Ben glance at each other, whining a bit.

“Not really. I love Lottie but Ben don’t want it” You pouted childishly.

“It’s not even a name ! It’s basically Charlotte’s nickname but you don’t like Charlotte, it’s not my fault baby” Ben chatted back before tacking a sip of his beer, earning a roll of eyes from you. “You don’t like any of my idea, you had reject every name I proposed !”

“We’re not calling our daughter Esmeralda, Ben” You huffed as you lay back in the sofa, wiggling to find a comfortable position. “And Isabella is out too, I’m not giving my kid the name of the dumbass from Twilight” Joe snorted and shook his head, patting Ben’ shoulder.

“These names are rather lovely (Y/N)” Commented Gwilym with a shrug.

“Didn’t ask for your opinion Lee” You scoffed and snatched the crisp’ bowl from his hand, munching loudly the snack.

“Don’t worry, the hormones drove her mad, she’s mean with everyone Gwil” The blond winked at the brown-haired man. “She’s probably gonna cry in less than half an hour”

“Piss off Benny” You mumbled, moving like a worm on the sofa, the baby was jumping around your belly and the task of relaxing was nearly impossible. “What about Mina ? It’s cute”

“I love it” Lucy and Gwil nodded enthusiastically, Joe just shrugged.

“Nah, I’m not fan” The blond scratched his chin, thinking about other names. “Kelly ?”

“Urgh, no way. I was bullied by a Kelly in school, she was a real bitch” You shook your head, a hand massaging your swollen belly. “Ophelia?”

Your boyfriend whined and you sighed dramatically. The brainstorm for a name continued for a good twenty minutes, everyone proposing a name until you and Ben found one you both agreed on.

“Ellie. It’s perfect” You smiled and Ben smiled back, both of you reassured to find a name before the arrival of your daughter. “It’s short and adorable”

“Well done Gwil” Lucy gave a thumb up as he smiled proudly for finding the name.

“Mine was better” Grumbled Joe with a childish pout. “You could put as a her middle name”

“Ellie Skywalker Jones” Ben nodded and glanced at you “What’s do you think babe ?”

You raised your middle finger to the two men before wrapping protectively your belly with your arms.

“I think neither of you will be allowed in the hospital for the birth, I don’t trust any of you”

After a promise of paying the restaurant’s note next time you all going out, your friends accepted to help you to get the baby’s room ready. You were painting one of the wall in a light blue as was Lucy, both of you chatting during your task.

Joe and Ben were trying to find a way to put together the crib which it and more baby’ stuffs had arrive earlier during the day.

“So...do you feel ready for the baby hon ?” You stopped your movements and glanced at Ben who was already looking at you. You both knew the answer.

“Fuck no” Gwilym, Lucy and Joe laughed at your perfect synchronisation and Ben winked at you.

“But it’s not like we have any choice...it’s gonna be hard but we will find a way, right Benny ?” You asked and smiled lovingly when the blond stood up to plant a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Of course, baby. We can manage a little human, million of people do it, so we can do it too” He ignored the exaggerated aaaawwwww of Joe and pressed a second kiss, on your nose this time. “But maybe you should rest for a bit now. You have been standing for hours baby” He gave you his famous puppy-eyes and for once, you didn’t object.

You hummed in agreement and sat in the rocking-chair, giving some rest to your swollen ankles. Ben smiled with relief and went back to the crib as Gwilym was hanging few decorations above it, following your instructions.

“I was wondering guys...since you’re not going to the concert next week, can I have your tickets ? I met a really pretty girl the other day and if–“

“What ? What concert ?” You cut Joe with a frown.

“Queen + Adam Lambert, did...did you forget ?” Gwilym looked at you and Ben’s dumbfounded faces and get his answer.

“Holy shit, is it next weekend ? I completely forget it !” You slapped your forehead with shock. This surprise baby made you forget the concert you were waiting for practically a year. “Fuck, I will be still pregnant for the gig !” You stood up and cursed loudly, looking dramatically at Ben. “What are we going to do ?”

“What do you mean ? We’re not going, baby” The blond stated the situation like it was the most obvious answer ever. You scoffed, outraged by his reply and he shook his head, feeling the fight coming. “(Y/N), you’re eight months pregnant, you’re not going to any concert”

“But it’s Queen ! I’m waiting for that since I’m a little kid !” You reacted like a brat but honestly, the only thought of missing the gig made your blood boiled. “I’m going !”

“You’re not going anywhere” Ben snapped and crossed his arms, looking firmly at you. “Joe, you can have our tickets, there are in the kitchen, behind the echography of Ellie”

Lucy and the two boys looked awkwardly at each other at your bickering and quietly exited the room to let you both speak alone.

“Joe, you better don’t touch my ticket !” You warned as he shook his head and closed the door behind him. “I’m going Ben, I don’t need your permission” You humphed angrily and finished to put the big cloud sticker on the wall, ignoring Ben’s deep sigh.

“(Y/N), don’t be stupid please. We have standing’s tickets, you can’t go in crowd and stand for three hours in your state” You knew he was right but his tone was annoying you. He was scolding you like if you were a kid. “Be serious for a minute, I want to go too but I’m not going because you can’t”

“But I want to go” You whined and felt tears watering your eyes. You hated crying but since you were pregnant, every little thing that upset you, also made you cry. “I’m sure we can exchanged our standing tickets for seating tickets...”

“I said no, it’s too dangerous ! Jesus, stop being so childish (Y/N), for fuck’ sake ! We’re going to have a baby, if you don’t want to be a bad mother, you need to grow the hell up” Your lower lip was trembling after Ben’s harsh words, trying to suppress your sobs. The blond cursed and immediately regretted his words. “No, babe, I’m sorry. That’s not what I wanted to say, I–“

“Save it Ben” You cut him, coldly and made your way out of the baby’s room, sniffling quietly.

You were hurt. Very hurt. His words stung in you like poison, you were already doubting about your capacity of being a mum and now it was even worse. The rest of the flat was empty, your friends probably left at the uncomfortable situation. Great.

“Baby, please. Forgive me, I didn’t mean any of this. I’m just fucking nervous” Ben pleaded as he followed you in the kitchen. “I’m sorry” You ignored him and graciously wiped your nose with your – Ben’s – jumper’ sleeve before grabbing a cookie’s box, crunching one of them angrily. “Babe, talk to me, please”

“Fuck off” You replied and made your way to your room, slamming it in Ben’s face and carefully locking it behind you.

“(Y/N), let’s talk about it, you can yell at me as long as you want” He knocked on the door but you stayed silent. You muffled your cries with your hand and slid in your bed, feeling exhausted. Hormones were amplified all of your emotions and maybe you were overacting a bit but you couldn’t control yourself. For now, you were vexed. “Baby, I’m sorry, I really am. Please, let me in”

Ben’s voice was sounding lower as you slowly drifted into sleep, mouth half-parted as small snores echoed in the room.

When you woke up, you were feeling much better. Hungry and craving for cuddles. You felt stupid to react so dramatically, Ben would never hurt you on purpose and he wasn’t totally wrong about what he said. He was a bit clumsy with his words but he didn’t mean any hurt. You unlocked the door and went looking for Ben, walking frankly around the messy flat.

“Ben ? Frankie ?” You heart started racing violently as the thought that he left you all alone. That it, he had enough with you and left you and the baby.

You put a hand on your chest, feeling it raising quickly under the anxiety. You started crying and kept calling Ben’s name with a weak voice. You were ridiculous, deep inside, you knew he didn’t leaves you but your emotions were all over the place, messing badly with your rational mind. After five long minutes of more sobbing and intense fear, – raising a baby all by yourself ? Nightmare – the front door open.

“In, Frankie. Good girl” Ben cooed as the dog immediately ran to you, her little tail wagging excitedly. “Baby, what’s wrong ?” the blond looked at you worriedly and quickly closed the door before joining you on the sofa.

“You’re back” You murmured with round, teary eyes that made Ben’s heart melted.

“Of course, I’m back, baby. ‘ Was just walking Frankie” His big, warm hands flew to your wet cheeks, brushing it softly. “I’m not going anywhere, I already told you that (Y/N), you stuck with me forever, you and little Ellie” He pressed his lips on yours, several times as you sighed with relief, your fingers clenching around his forearm. “I brought you this veggie burger from Byron that you love so much” He added in a whisper, his mouth curled in a cheeky smile.

“With sweet potatoes ?” You asked with the sweetest, hopeful voice, Ben’s chuckling softly at your tone.

“Two portions of sweet potatoes for my pretty girl” He confirmed and you kissed his cheeks, wiping your wet eyes with a hungry smile. “I’m gonna make your plate, ‘kay ?” You nodded and he disappeared in the kitchen, Frankie immediately stealing his spot.

You scratched her ears with a loving smile while she rolled on her back, exposing her tummy for some more rubbing, her cute little pink tongue poking out. The blond came back, two plates on his hands before putting the little stool, to rest your feet on, in front of you. The sight of the deliciously greasy burger made your stomach grumbled loudly. You both silently ate your dinner, Ben stealing you soft glances from time to time, your plate resting on the top of your round belly as you eagerly stuffed your mouth with chips.

“About what I said earlier...”

“No, Ben, let’s forget that okay ? You were right, I acted like a little bitch, I was being stupid” You took a large sip of your soda and waved him off, licking your greasy fingers.

“Hey, I shouldn’t have talk you like this either, ‘m sorry baby” His plump lips pressed on your shoulder, making you smiled inevitably.

You wiped your fingers into a napkin and slid them on his cheeks, bringing in face to yours, kissing him cheekily. Ben moved the plate from the top of your tummy and pushed him away somewhere on the coffee table without breaking the kiss. You sat on his lap, bowing your neck to keep your lips connected, trying to ignore the soreness of the gesture but with your massive body between the two of you, it wasn’t really easy.

Ben lips trailed down your neck, nipping at your skin as you softly gasped at the nice sensation. But then little Ellie decided to wake up, giving this steamy moment a weird dimension. The baby was pretty energetic, kicking hard until Ben stopped, sighing.

“Is it only me or you also find weird to make out when this little cockblocker is awake ?” He narrowed his eyes, looking suspiciously at your swollen belly.

“Definitively” You pouted and let a light peck on his cute nose before getting back on your spot, your hand rubbed on your tummy. “Shush baby...aren’t you a jealous little thing ? Not letting your mama getting a well-deserve quickie on the sofa, that wasn’t really nice” You cooed at your belly, your daughter kicking back even harder at the sound of your voice.

“Can’t wait to have this little girl out of her Mummy because this is my spot, and I don’t like sharing” He gave you smug smile and avoid the cushion that you threw to him. “What ? I’m sick of using my hand, didn’t jerk myself off that much since high school. Miss our long, hot night of sex very much” He whispered the last sentence into your ear, bringing a shiver down your spin.

You whined. Loudly.

“Me too baby. God, that awful, I’m so horny and I can barely move” You cried as your gently tugged on Ben’s hairs. His gorgeous lips teasing you as he ran a tongue on it.

“As soon as we have a night just for ourself, m’ gonna take care of you, no cockblocker and no big belly to stop me this time” He brushed his lips against your lobe and moved away, his eyes matching your excitation. “Soon, baby, soon”

You nodded with a pout and grabbed back your plate, munching your burger as you ignored the knot of desire in your lower belly.

“Do you want my pickle ?” His fingers wiggled the large american pickle in front of your lips, mouth twitching up in a cocky smile. “It’s leaking, wanna taste ?” You knew he was teasing you and he was having too much fun with his dirty talk, he rubbed the head of the pickle on your closed mouth, knowing damn well that the baby was too awake to do anything right now.

His amused face turned into a most serious one when you decided to play his game too, giving a kitten lick on the pickle, your doe-eyes looking right him innocently. You hummed appreciatively and chuckled as his Adam’s apple bobbed visibly. You wrapped your lips around the vegetable, sucking on it with exaggerated noises only destined to frustrate him more. His cheeks were becoming pink at your gestures, his free hand sliding into his pants, palming himself at the sight, imagining your lips wrapped around him rather than this stupid pickle.

“You like that Ben ?” You murmured in a slutty voice, trying your best to not burst in laugh at his flustered state. Men were really weak. He nodded softly, groans leaving his parted mouth as his cock was throbbing in his hand, begging for some release. You put back your lips and moaned loudly around it, your hands pressing on his thighs cockily. “That what you get when you tease me, you twat” You crunched on the pickle and moved back, giggling at his wide eyes and burning face.

“You’re...the devil, woman” He chocked out in a strangled voice, stopping the movements of his hand. You stole the rest of the pickle and ate it nonchalantly, ignoring his pleading look. “Babe” He rubbed his nose on your neck. “Baby” He whined against your skin, his hot breath tickling you. “Please, my love. Need you. So badly” He caught your hand and pressed it onto his boner, showing you how much he needed you.

“Humm, what do I get if I land you a hand ?” You purred with a cheeky smile, your fingers brushing on his hard-on.

“Everything you want baby, please” You grinned in satisfaction and pressed your lips on his jaw, biting it slightly as your hand wrapped around his length, earning a loud gasp.

“Alright, you owned three girl nights once the baby is born, whenever I want” You glanced at him and he rolled his eyes but nodded anyway, he slid down his jeans and underwear, exposing his magnificent purple-head cock to you. “And you give me a massage tonight” You added with a smirk, your thumb teasing the top of his leaking dick. Ben sighed uncomfortably at your sweet torture and nodded eagerly, his hips bucking into your grip. “And a real massage baby, not a five-minutes-and-im-too-tired one ! With the relaxing oil I bought last–“

“Jesus (Y/N) !Yes, yes, yes ! Everything you want baby, can you just jerk me off ?” His head was threw back in the sofa, eyes closed and face twisted in need.

“So romantic my love” You joked and slowly started moving your hand up and down, nails slightly grazing on him, bringing your lips back on his neck. “How do that feel ?”

“So good baby. So so so good” He whimpered as your other hand went on his balls, massaging them gently. “Shit, how can you hand be so much better than mine ?” The blond kept his eyes shut, chest panting as his release was quicky building.

“For the same reason than I prefer your fingers in my pussy rather than mine” You murmured against his lips, grinning at his long and deep moan. “Feel so nice when you touch me, always hitting the right spot” You bit his bottom lip, quickening your speed around his cock.

“God, I love this dirty mouth of yours” He breathed as he opened his lust-filled eyes. “Kiss me” You pressed a simple kiss on his mouth, earning a disapproval groan from your boyfriend. “A real– fuck, a real kiss baby”

“I taste like pickle Ben” You giggled and wrinkled up your nose. “Yuck”

“Like I fucking care, gimme a kiss baby” You happily complied and slid your tongue into his mouth, adding some pressure on his hard member as you other hand flew back on his neck. “Oh my– feel so good! I’m gonna cum baby! Shit shit shit !” He sang in a high pitched voice as you praised him until he jerked in your hand with a throaty groan.

You wiped your hands covered in sticky cum on Ben’s shirt who gave you a dirty look but didn’t say anything. You just jerked him off, knowing you wouldn’t have any release in return, he better kept his mouth shut.

Few days later you were doing your exercise of the day : Walking to the elevator, get in it, walking even more graciously to the box letters, grabbed the mails and then going back to your flat in the same way. It was noting but it made you sweated and groaned every time.

You sat – more like grovelled – into the sofa, patting a sleepy Frankie and looked over the mails, putting the bills on the table with a grimace. You made your way to Ben’s office, dropping his work mails on the desk but your eyes fell on a large envelop, with the name of his agent on it. You furrowed your brows and took the envelop, wondering what it was. You curiosity would kill you one day.

“I hope for you Benjamin Jones that I’m wrong and it’s not what I think it is...” You mumbled with annoyance, trying to see through the envelop.

Ben had the bad habit to accept projects before talking to you, to avoid a drama. We ask for forgiveness, not for authorisation. But now you had a baby coming very soon and if you found out this asshole was away for a photo shoot or an interview somewhere else than in London...someone gonna be in big troubles. You were becoming angry and scared. He wouldn’t do that, he couldn’t. Now you were pacing in the room, trying to relax and not becoming too paranoiac. Too late. You grabbed the envelop and looked for the little knife that Ben used to opened his mails.

“Watcha doing ?” You dropped everything on the floor with a loud gasp, catched red-handed. Ben smirked at your guilty face, walking to you. “What did I do for you to search through my boring work stuffs hum ? That not where I keep the naughty photos my fans send me, you know that” He joked before placing a kiss on your hair, rubbing gently your belly.

This wanker came back from the gym quicker than you expected.

“And why are you trying to make go in early-labour, you ass” You groaned in a loud breath, heart beating quickly from the scare he just gave you. The blond chuckled, clearly picking on your mood but he was used to it now. “What is in this envelop ?” You shook it in front of your boyfriend’s face.

“Hum...nothing” The british lied and quickly grabbed the mail from your hand, taking it away.

“Benjamin! What is it ?” You slapped his chest to make him drop the envelop but he shook his head, refusing to tell you.

“Nothing baby, I swear ! Just boring work” He smiled innocently to you and it made you even more upset.

“Oh my god Ben ! Tell me ! You better not leave the city during the first year of your daughter’s life or I’m gonna castrate you !” You shoved an angry finger in his chest before pinching roughly one of his nipple, making him gasp painfully.

“Fuck (Y/N) ! You hurt me” He whined like a child but at least you get the mail back in your hand. You smirked at him and started to open it under Ben’s annoyed gaze. “Okay, go on, you minx, ruin my surprise” The blond crossed his arms and rubbed his torso, mumbling about his nipple hurting.

You chewed your lips in hesitation, maybe it was really a surprise and you were just acting bratty. You sighed and gave him back the mail, half opened. You pouted and walked away, hormones making you crazy. You wanted to cry, to yell or just taking a nap you didn’t know. But the envelop was still in your though, making you wondering too much. And Ben being the perfect boyfriend he was, knew that too. That why he came sit next to you on the sofa, handing you the mail.

“I wanted it to be a surprise until the last minute but I know you gonna drive yourself mad with this, so here, open your present” You squealed in excitement, sending him the wider smile ever. “But please don’t go in early labour, that would literally ruin my present” He added, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Can’t promise anything Benny” You crutched your nose, taking out two shiny pieces of paper from the mail, eyes practically popping out of your face. “No, you didn’t ! Oh my god Ben !” You let out a scream in high-pitched voice and the blond covered his ears as the sound but a satisfied smile was on his lips.

It was two tickets for a Queen + Adam Lambert concert but this time, it was not standing but seating tickets, on a private balcony, much better for a very pregnant woman. You quickly wiped away the few tears on your cheeks and grabbed Ben’s neck, kissing his mouth several times, babbling several thank you.

“I’m glad you’re happy, baby” You buried your head into his neck, his large palms rubbing your swollen belly, his head on yours.

“I though you didn’t want me to go with little Ellie” You murmured against his skin, feeling overwhelmed by love for this incredible man.

“Well, it way safer tickets and it’s probably the last very exciting thing we’re gonna do before the baby so...yeah, let’s go see Queen” He replied with an amused tone.

“You’re damn right, Jones” You put your hand over his, both of you giggling at the kick from little Ellie “See, she is very excited too ! Baby girl gonna dance with Mommy on saturday night !”

Ben gave you a warning look and you pinched your lips, amused.

“Or we can just occasionally wiggle on our seat to not worry daddy to much” You added with an innocent smile.

“Much better” Ben agreed with a grin.

Tag list : @ixchel-9275 @jennyggggrrr

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy #ben x reader

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kinktae · 4 years

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kinktae? i think you meant the sweetest & loveliest person ever 🥺💞💓

Anonymous said: rose deserves all the love and more rt if you agree 🤠

(warning: oodles of precious and dear anons under the cut)

yooniversus said: i faqing luv u (hehe get it) 💕💕💕🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥺💕❤️💫💕💫💜💕💜💕💜💕💕💜💕💜💜💜💜 ok soddy i was just bored

Anonymous said: i dont usually interact with fic writers but ur work is out of this world!!!!! the way you write dialogue makes it seem casual and natural flowing like how you would talk to a friend :)) connecting to the main character has never been a challenge for me, but with your writing its like i am the character instead of just some reader. i hope that you never stop writing as long as it brings you joy, and that this message makes you smile (even just a lil' bit) luv u!!

worldclasscassy said: i am so geeked over ur writing 🥰🥺

Anonymous said: uwu punch me daddy

Anonymous said: ur deada$$ one of the best writers on here, i don’t make the rules sis 🙈

into1995 said: heelo! sending all my love! 🥰 you have such a beautiful soul, please take care! we are here for you always. 💕

dejayoon said: take your time lovey! you deserve a break💜

Anonymous said: imagine waking up every day knowing ur rose...PHEW!! wish i could be that lucky 😪😪

lovesic-eunoia said: hey, sweetie. i know your anxiety has been making you feel like crAP and i'm here to tell you that it really does get better❤️, there's always gonna things that make you wanna quit trying to get better, but don't give up. anxiety doesn't rule your life, you do. i wish you the best through all of the ups and downs. you're a precious piece of life. much love ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: saw u on my dash and my heart went lub dub

Anonymous said: I hope you take some time to yourself and enjoy hiatus! We love you!

evilkookie said: Your health is way more important than anything!! I wish only good and positive things for you and you feel better, take as long as you need for your Hiatus 💝💝

Anonymous said: I dont know if I'm late but take care of yourself bby! Health always comes first and I hope you'll be enjoying your time outside of tumblr! Will miss you but love you so much bby! -Bunny

miss-peys said: Hope all is well! I myself had to take a step back from school because my mental health was terrible! Hope everything is going okay in your personal life! Can’t wait for you to come back to tumblr, but please come back when YOU feel ready not because others want you to come back! Sending positive vibes your way! Can’t wait for you come back💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Rose my darling dearest I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I hope you’re doing well 💜💫☁️

Anonymous said: hi jared ilu xoxoxo

Anonymous said: I love u and I hope ur taking care of yourself and staying hydrated!!

googie-kook said: How are you doing lovely? Miss you loads and hope you’re feeling better! Love from London! 🇬🇧 💓💓💓💓💓

Anonymous said: hi bby! im just coming in to tell you i love you! and you are loved!! and i hope youre taking good care of yourself and doing all those good things to keep yourself happy and healthy!! and im super excited for your spooky fic soon! sending you nothing but the best !!!❤❤❤

Anonymous said: i’m really happy that you’re taking a mental break from social media(tumblr). i had to do that a couple days ago and it really helps. anyways hope you get better and you take time to heal yourself. i love youuuuu🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anonymous said: Ur meat is huge, keep going.

Anonymous said: how are you being doing rose? hope you're well

hyzzzan said: I'm glad you're still here 🥰💜

Anonymous said: You are so good and such a cute human bean oof (are we still saying ‘oof’?) it’s really frustrating cause I can’t make u feel the intensity with which I mean it. You are so so so so good, your stories just hit different. Like next level shit. Your characters, stories, yo skills I swear if only I was half as good as you are at writing maybe I would be able to make u feel the intensity of my feelings.. I hope writing these masterpieces brings you as much joy as reading them does to me💕💕

Anonymous said: Your stories are soooo good! I am in love with them.

Anonymous said: I MISSED YOU. seeing the "hiatus" taken off your blog just made me so happy. I hope you're good 🖤 happy Halloween 🦇

Anonymous said: I'm rereading all your fics and I keep falling in love with your writing. Thank you for quality content. Also, I hope you're doing good!

Anonymous said: Hi love! I'm so so sooooooo happy you're back! Hope you had a great break and noe you're feeling better. But take your time with writing, exams come first. I still can't wait to read your new stuff tho! (On a side note, we already talked in private but I'm still shy, sorry) ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: Hi omg are you back?? I missed you 🥺

Anonymous said: rose ur writing is insanely good and whenever im having a ton of anxiety i read ur writing to calm me down so tysm for being the best ever

lorengarcia-yut

said: You're BACK! I'm so happy you're back! I really hope you are feeling good and happy. Just wanted to send you a lil welcome back message with a little love

monohoed said: Hey, hope you been feeling better? I love everything you’ve written so far and just wanted to let you know! I’ve struggled w mental health myself and I empathise ♥️♥️

sydney--chan said: I fr think I might die when you post a fic again like no cap ive missed you and your writing so mUCH🥺🥺🥺

Anonymous said: so heyyy idk how to say it buttt ily~~ ★☆~

Anonymous said: hihi rose ilu sm and i hope ur doing well, pls take care of urself bb 🥺🥺💜

Anonymous said: .........you are like so beautiful

Anonymous said: HEY IM WUV U AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! 💕💕 I love all your work and I hope the best for you!!!

Anonymous said: ummm ma’am??? you are so beautiful and I am so gay??????

Anonymous said: I followed you on twitter and you are pretty, funny, kind, and creative. Biggest friend crush uwu

Anonymous said: Omg you should be a model. You're so gorgeous, I'm jealous. If I ever met you in real life, my self-esteem will go down. But I love you too much girl 💕

mazeyoongi said: i haven't had much time or interest in reading fics lately because i am so busy between work & college, but every time you post a new story i HAVE to read it. no natter how busy i am or what is going on, i always read your new fics. they are ALWAYS so so so amazing and you manage to keep my interest from beginning to end no matter who or what it may be based on. thank you for giving us such wonderful work. you're amazing! 💓

Anonymous said: You're so pretty I- TAKE MY HEART PLIS I MIGHT JUST MAKE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR YOU 🥺🥺😩😩 -Bunny

Anonymous said: wtf the twitter video, jeezus you are freaking stunning

Anonymous said: you‘re so pretty lemme suck your dick, it‘s only fair

Anonymous said: low key your facial structure is like perfect?? i'm kinda jealous?? luv u b

charlie-hatsune said: JUST FOLLOWED YOUR TWITTER AND YOU'RE SUPER PRETTY!!!

dazedaurora said: okay but like how tf is everyone around here so pretty?! you're an absolute doll 💖

i-want-to-bite-your-head-off said: I haven't been on here in a WHILE but hi hope you're doing well and ily uwu

sapphireprinces5 said: Hello!! I just wanted you to know I really love all (and I mean ALL) of your stories. I really want to be a better reader for all of you amazing writers who share their art with us. With so many authors leaving, I really want to do my part better! So, you will definitely see more from me when you update!! Excited to see what you have in store for us ❤️

Anonymous said: Omg hi lovely!!! I just wanted to tell u that you are a precious human being and I hope u know that

ktgguk said: uwu I hope you had a lovely day, don’t forget to drink plenty of water 🧸💗 keep being amazing at what you do!!!

Anonymous said: You’re so consistent through your work and everything you write is a phenomenal masterpiece! I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you manage to always get such a high word count per chapter. That probably sounds so dumb and I’m sorry if this wastes your time.

Anonymous said: I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR ALL UR HARD WORK IN UR WRITING AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

justaregularcrazyfangirl said: So, hm... It's not an ask but i just read what you said about my little review and i just wanted to say that you managed to make me blush 😆 (urgh i'm not used to do this and it shows !) Anyways, i'm happy you found my review interesting 💜 I hope you have a nice day ~ "You nice, keep going" ! (And that's my cue to go and hide somewhere !)

Anonymous said: you're an amazing writer!!!

Anonymous said: pls rose u deserve ALL the love in this universe

Anonymous said: Ma’am!! We are your friends!!! That post was SO CUTE!!! Love U!! My heart is full of love and appreciation for your cute self

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: i love your stories for one, always have ever since I found you 🥺 you give me most of my inspiration to write and let my creativity flow but it’s so dang hard actually putting the words I want on the pAGE BENDK

Anonymous said: Do you ever read your own fics and be like "Damnnn I'm good"

Anonymous said: Oh are you sick 😥 Get well soon 💜

Anonymous said: Omg you speak French too?!! Is there anything you can’t do?!?! You’re such a smart girl 😭🤧💕

Anonymous said: I think you’re really cool and I wish I could be your friend. ❤️

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜 Hey love, idk if you've already deleted the app or it'll get barried in the inevitable avalanche of asks you're about to receive but I hope you can feel the love I'm sending your way nonetheless. You're my favorite writer and there's so question, i'll be here when you get back. Take as much time as you need and I'm very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to get better. That alone takes strength. I wish you the best of luck. -🌻

Anonymous said: Life is a pendulum between your fics and your ficsrec

Anonymous said: just wanted to slide in here to say i dont really like smutty stories, but damn yours be hittin different and im obsessed, so thank u for sharing ur work with us 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: hi! i’m a reader of your work and well, I completely understand where you’re coming from. exactly. 100%. so you take your time and love yourself like you know you deserve to. I support you!

bugznot said: whenever you decide to come back we’ll be ready with open arms. remember you are powerful but you can only take so much. breaks are necessary and important and i hope you are kind to yourself in this time

Anonymous said: Leaving this message for when you’ll come back: I hope you finally start to love yourself back, you take chances cause you believe in yourself and your abilities, you leap blindly because you have faith in yourself and you know where you stand. I hope you have learnt to love yourself, to demand more of others and you for yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you come back, rejuvenated and free of all those schemes that bring you down. Love you 💕

Anonymous said: Saw your most recent post and wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon. I understand how tough it is when it feels like you’re living a lie, but not to minimize your experience, I’m sure it’ll pass and you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself. We all love you here and are patiently awaiting your return. If you celebrate it, happy holidays! Hopefully it won’t be stressful for you and you get some time to relax! 💕

Anonymous said: take as much time as you need & don’t feel like you HAVE to write just because there are people waiting for updates. your real life & health always comes first but pls know that we’ll be here for you & only want the best for you. We’ll be patiently waiting for you & understand your struggles (or at least I do 🙃). pls keep your friends around you, stay in good surroundings with positive vibes & take care of yourself (& your dog aw). sending all the love to you!!!

peachishiz said: Hey Rose my love Dw u don’t gotta answer just popping in to say I love u so much and I hope ur doing good and stuff 🌸💕

Anonymous said: hi bby, i just wanted to say that i can’t truly say ik what you’re going through, bc every circumstance is different, but i really relate to you & what you’re going through. i teared up a bit bc i’ve had the similar thoughts & feelings (and i still do) but i think being open & vulnerable about it is the first step (& hardest) so i just wanna day i’m proud of you 🥺 i wish i let you know more how much i love and appreciate your fics, but i hope the time you take for yourself is healing 💜 Luv -⭐️

Anonymous said: Hope no matter where you go or what you'll do, you'll be happy with it. Lots of love and best of luck ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: dude honestly , taking that step to take care of yourself makes me extremely proud and i dont even know like that. When i first moved to Miami i think i felt similar to how you do , i held a lot of resentment for myself and the life i led and its a sentiment i dont wish on the worst of my enemies. Im sorry you feel that way , but you know you have the strength to pull yourself out of your slump , and that's quite the feat on its own. Good luck and i hope happiness finds you soon. - A.L.Á

Anonymous said: heeeeey, I hope you take lots of care during ur hiatus. Stay hydrated, eat some tasty food, make yourself a priority, reach out for help when you need to, and life is like a minecraft house, sometimes it gets burned down, sometimes it gets attacked but in the end you always have the opportunity to rebuild something new, that makes you happy and satisfied. u rock, u r wonderful and amazing, ily

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say that your writing is brilliant. It’s okay to be going through a tough time. I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need a break and taking one. The year is almost over: it’s the perfect time for a lifestyle change or a new beginning. Do what you need to do. We’ll still be here. Love you!

Anonymous said: You’re doing great sweetie! Keep going ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: im not sure if you still have the app or not or if you'll ever see this but i love you 💓 & i know idk you but to see you taking steps toward loving yourself is so beautiful ! im still on that journey myself 🤷🏽‍♀️ & it gets hard but you gave me some newfound energy just now. good luck !

Anonymous said: I am so proud of you. You’re so brave for accepting the fact that you are not okay, and doing something to turn that around. Now you’re walking the path towards betterment. I won’t wish for you to not fall back into that hole, but that when you do, I hope you come out faster and stronger every time. You made my life a thousand times better through your works, I hope through this hiatus, you’ll be able to do that for yourself. I am rooting for you ❤️

sydney--chan said: Hi babie🥺 please take all the time you need for yourself. I am proud of you for taking a step back and realizing you needed change. You are very strong and I cant wait for you to come back better than ever:)

Anonymous said: Ah, baby! Just the fact that you opened up and came with this decision shows that deep inside you care for yourself and you are also really brave. YOU ARE inspirational, your friends aren't lying. So many of us can't stop being stagnant and that's ok too. But you, you are doing so much and you are handling this better than you see it yourself. You are mature enough to see that things are wrong and that you deserve to heal. Everything that's wrong is going to pass. (1/?)

Anonymous said: And the cloudy days are going to be gone. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself as well. Treat yourself like you would treat one of the boys, for ex (I know it sounds silly but... lol). Imagine if they were feeling down and if they made mistakes. Wouldn't you forgive them? Make them see that it is ok? Wouldn't you want to cuddle and take care of them? Treat yourself like that, please. Treat yourself like you deserve to be taken care of, because you do. (2/?)

Anonymous said: Try to date yourself, you know. Take yourself on a date, buy you something nice when you can, try not to tell yourself things you wouldn't tell other person (cuz I know you are the kindest to people). And it is ok if somedays you can't handle things the best way, but you're just human and it is okay. Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all trying hard in this life and we are all making mistakes. I am proud of you for trying. Keep trying to be better for yourself. You are precious and (3/4)

Anonymous said: I hope everything gets better for you as soon as possible. We are cheering you up, also while you're on hiatus. Come back whenever you feel like it and don't feel pressured to please others. YOU are the one who matters here and you're amazing af. We are going miss this bright star that you are but be patient with yourself and take your time. Please, seek a professional and take care of your health. You are lovely and loved. Everything goes, my love ♥♥♥♥ (4/4)

Anonymous said: I love you so damn much❤️

Anonymous said: I'm proud if you, I get that this was a hard decision to take, and you still did it. So, I'm proud of you. You finally understood that you are the n. priority, so please treat yourself like it. Even if you'll be gone for the whole year, I'm still super happy ti hear this. You deserve this, as you said yourself, you deserve the world. I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing good, but I know that you can make it better. Please, remember that you're not on your own: ask for help if you need it. Ily

lorengarcia-yut said: I just read your post and I just want let you know that we support you! Your health comes first, please take all the time you need. I feel for you, cause in a way I understand. Please take of your self! May God bless your life cause it’s gonna get better. Keep going, don’t ever give up, and please keep pushing. You deserve better than what you’re going through. Bless your heart ❤️

Anonymous said: 🌹 I don’t know if you will see this but I completely understand what you are going through. I have depression and social anxiety, and it’s so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning to go to school in a city where I don’t know anyone. I just want you to know that I will always support you and I hope that this time away will help to clear your mind of some negativity and bring you into a new year with hopefully brighter days 💜✨☀️

minigalixies said: i hope you come back feeling better, love ♡ so proud of you making the decision to put YOU first !! it’s a hard, but VERY important, decision that i hope benefits you sO MUCH !! i look forward to seeing your new posts when you feel better mentally + physically !! ♥️

Anonymous said: I hope this break provides you with everything you need. I hope life in general gets easier for you, you deserve it my love. Your mental health is way more important than providing us with content. Please take care of yourself, we'll be here for you if/when you decide to come back. I love you.

Anonymous said: hello im here to state a fact: your writing is perfect

moonchild-love-letter said: Hi, how are you? I hope you're okay. Actually, I hope you're better than okay, I hope you've been eating well, sleeping well, and spending your days chasing your bliss. Your writing is a piece of art, whenever I finish a chapter I always feel so happy and blessed to have found your blog. I hope that happiness returns to you ten folds. I hope your days are filled with love. Thank you for sharing your work. Thank you.

Anonymous said: BABY ROSE YOURE BACK!!!!! I’m ready to spend my 2020 supporting your 10/10 writing and you on your life journey. GONNA SMOTHER YOU WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: i admire u so much for being confident enough to put ur mental health first. school causes me so much stress and anxiety and makes me slip back into my depression so fast. i look up to u so much. im glad ur doing what makes u happy. 🥺

Anonymous said: HAPPY NEW YEAR BBY 💙💙 YOU WERE LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW BLOGS I FOLLOWED AND YOU GOT ME INT HE FEELS SO MANY TIMES AND YOUR THEMES ARE AMAZING AND YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU YOU SMOL BBY -Bunny

tinievmin said: Okay so you’re my internet older sister now!!! Wow this is so cute 🥺🥺 Take care of your health, eat well, drink water, sleep, and be kind to yourself this year!!! Sending u love!!

Anonymous said: U ARE A BABY 😩😩😩😩😩😩

Anonymous said: WT FFFFFFF ROSE HAPPY NEW YEAR 🌟 u are backkkkk i miss u little bby 🤧💕

Anonymous said: While they say that army’s are toxic, i think I’ve never found so many people sharing one common interest with such an awareness and consciousness about complex concepts like loving yourself. I like to think that BTS deconstructed the cliché of “love yourself” into something more complex and difficult that u would pursue in life bravely, even through struggles, and not just a quote u find on aesthetic pillows. And I think you’re doing just that too with your stories and your journey. thank you💕

Anonymous said: hello! i'm a returning bts writer and so glad to see find you on here still!! i remember reading one of your earliest fics i love you

Anonymous said: You’re so talented!!

Anonymous said: hello miss rose how are you today? I thought id just come over to say hi and i love you so much you beautiful human being. I hope you and your little fur babies are doing well!💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: hey, idk if you'll even see this, but i just wanted to say i'm in love with all of your fics. i don't even have a tumblr account, i just come to your page from google to read your stuff and see if you're doing well😳 i could say more but that robot verification keeps running out, so hope 2020 treats you well and you're an amazing writer!

pocketfullofsuga said: hey I checked who im following and it said you are one of my favorite tumblrs I mean they aint wrong though bby

Anonymous said: JUST WANTED TO SAY ILYILYILY AND I HOPE THAT THE NEW DECADE IS TREATING YOU WELL EVEN THO WE ONLY FOUR DAYS IN. ILY, STAY HEALTHY, LOVE YOURSELF. k bye 🥺🤍🕊🥰

#so #I just really really want to take the moment and apologize for not responding to so many asks #this year #as u can tell by reading this past #had been kind of a whirlwind #and im so so grateful and humbled rereading all these asks #u guys really are my friends #above all #and im so just brimming with love #genuine love and appreciate for you all #thank u #I love u guys #Anonymous

5 notes · View notes

mymagnificentself · 6 years

Text

fixing things

now thinking about it, i think ive built up quite the reputation for being able to fix things, technologicsl things as well as small physicak items like glasses or jewelry or whatever.

also, so we had our oral exam earlier, and i was in the onky threesome group, agAin, with the guy i was with last time so that was a funny coinkidink😂

and it waaas... a bit of a mess first of all although we met earlier (and i drove wheee) and did some practice runs buut we got to school a bit later than we were supposed to be there to get registered and all that si that was kiiind of very stressful

buuut it all went fine in the end and i think i did good as well, and great probably bc not to sound arrogant but i do speak english at least as well as any native speaker and for sure better than anyone in my class, but still in retrospect im not feeling so good about the monologue part..

the whole thing consisted of a monologue and a dialogue about quotes or pictures that were given to us rihht beforehand so the talking was pretty much right off the bat..

but still i am good at that and i got 100% for it last time so i really shouldnt be worried or stressing myself out about it now

and theres no use crying over spilt milk

but idk i had a sort of moment of despair somewhere in the middle, and in my practice one in the car as well after about 1:25 minutes (out of the four we had) where i just kind of... i didnt give up but i had a kind of oh shiT whAt do i DO NOW moment theeeere

which proobably didnt show bc i kept talking anyways and the others told me it was great anyhow and didnt show; but i feel like that maybe shook my foundation and confidence a little bit..

and my moods at times are very closely related to how well i do at school, or other things im supposed to be good at, and in most cases that works really well bc then it keeps pushing and motivating me to keep being Good or maybe get Even Better and its alk fun and great;

buuuut then when something doesnt work out the way i wanted to, or I dont do something as good as i feel like im supposed to it can also have a bit of a... negative impact on my overall well feeling..

and thrn at times even rationalisation and logic dont help me much, which is even more frustrating bc otherwise those too are a great source of confidence or... stuff to rely on..

to avOiD that i fall down a deep dark pit of despair...

its a roller coaster

one of the not so fun ones

the one that just kind of stops randomly and goes really rought and just kind of throws you around that you feel like youll end up with bruises all over from it...

also i spilt my coffee in the car which makes me feek guilty..

and just the whoke thing was really unorganized on my part and it was awkward at first (as it always is) and then we were _late_ and uRGH i HATE things like that, and then starting to WoRRy about it and be AnXioUS like FuCK THAt, where on earth did all that CoME from and why isnt it going bACK tHere again because i dont wANT it.

i have been starting to wonder if that might be a legit anxiety thing that im developing, or thats starting to come out now, bc more and more i find that sometime i just lie awake for an hour or more just WoRrYiNG about things and being NErVOuS which is absofuckinlotely unnecessary, irrational and just plain ANNOYiNG, bc i have THiNGS to do and it rather be Productive or at least SLEEP, but lying awake thinking about potential problem scenarious or awkward/cringe things that happened in the past is most Definitely not a productive thing in the least.

which is why its sometimes easier to just stay up till like three am and then pass out from exhaustion, bc then you wont waste time trying to falk asleep

although that is kinda difficult to do if the internet gets shut off at half past one🙄

at least its that and not half past twelve anymore tho, at least one good thing that offocial summertime brough, bc looks like the computer internet thing doesnt know about it😇

but yeah this is still really annoying me and im trying to come up with ways to combat that, bc i definitely dont wsnt to end up like my mum bc she has got some kind of anxiety or sleep or whatever issue for sure, maybe both, but she has Problems falling asleep as well (and its not just bc of my dads unholy snoring) bc she says she sometimes only gets like three hours of sleep or cant fall asleel bc shes worrying about something or so

and like thats just IMPRAcTiCAL, just ThiNK of all the time in yiur life thats stealing from you that you could be spending beung god knows how else productive

not to mention that you end uo feeling like shit for at least half of the next day if youre too tired...

i mean dont get me wrong, i absolutely love sleep and being asleep, but if it takes some time to get there thats just snnoying and inconvenient.

exercise might help, or so they say, but meeeeehh im not feeling like physical exercise.

ever.

for obvious reasons, but mostly bc im UnCOMFORTABLE and Lazy, and bc i dont see any real, or significant advantages to it i chose to not do that.

and instead love myself, or something, or just accept that ill forever be uncomfortable in my body, so why should i give in to societys pressure and make myself even more miserable when instead i could just

not

do that.

bc also all the last times ive intended in all good will to do sports or exercise it backfired snd noe the little rat in my brain is so afraid of getting shocked just by thinking about it, that weve collectively decided to not.

i shoukd go to sleep, this has just gone on forever and didnt even go anyehrtr relevant

but oh well, my blog, my postd, who cares, free therapy sessoom for mr without directly having to tslk toanyonr

#mags speaks

0 notes

mvssmallow · 7 years

Photo

Cloudy With A Chance

Part 12: …of Shorts Weather.

Masterlist

2 weeks later.

Hanbin taps his fingers to a directionless rhythm on the surface of his table. He’s written two paragraphs, both terrible, on a topic he wishes someone else got. Sometimes he loves his job but sometimes he wonders if he was just wasting his time writing articles he barely cares about.

“Are you planning on branching out into EDM? Dub-step? Big beat?” Donghyuk asks wearily from behind his laptop.

“Huh?”

“Oh I assume that’s what the tapping is about? Because surely you can’t be doing that just to annoy me, right?”

He retracts his finger back into his fist. “Sorry. This article just really isn’t working.”

Donghyuk sighs and looks at the clock on the wall before taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. “I’d help you but mine isn’t really working either. Business Week is so boring to write about. It’s nearly 3 though, why don’t you make yourself useful and do the caffeine run?”

“Yeah okay. Do you want the same thing again?”

“No, we’re stuck in a rut. I feel like something different today. Surprise me. Might not be such a bad idea for you to try something new as well?”

Hanbin rolls his eyes as he passes Donghyuk’s desk on the way out, “Yes, Dad.”

The temperature in their office is always set at a crisp 22 degrees (to prevent cozy unproductive lethargy) but outside is a warm and sunny 30 degrees. It’d be stifling if there wasn’t a light breeze through his thin summer shirt and it’d be even more unbearable if Jiwon hadn’t sent his obligatory text at 7am that morning.

[hey, fyi its gonna be really hot 2day. SHORTS WEATHER!!! have a good day at work, call me later xxJ]

He chuckles to himself thinking of how many pairs of shorts Jiwon must own by now (probably a few pairs shy of 100). It gets him thinking about Jiwon’s wardrobe, then his room, then his apartment…

…the one that Hanbin has never even been to.

Was it weird? It must be weird. They’ve never even seen the inside of each other’s apartments. Or hugged since that day at June’s. Or even had a proper date by themselves. Or kissed again.

It was weird.

It was backwards.

He frowns as he passes the bookshop where there’s a poster for the new book by Haruki Murakami, no doubt about another tragically beautifully relationship that will have him turning the pages well into the dawn and wondering why his own life wasn’t as poetic or why he couldn’t write as well or why he just can’t be like everyone else.

Stop it Hanbin.

Stop it.

He wills himself to stop mourning about normalcy or wanting to join the conveyer belt of society-approved romantics when he knows that the thing he has with Jiwon is totally and utterly not normal.

He’s feeling better by the time he’s reached the familiar corner cafe. It welcomes him in with its comforting smell of sweet chocolate, happy yellow almond cakes, floral herbal teas and life-affirming coffee. Maybe that’s why everyone who works there looks like they’ve got a permanent IV drip to the fountain of youth and all the customers come in looking like fading zombies.

He waits for his order by the window, getting lost in watching life walk up and down the street; there was an old man trying to courier a giant painting on his bike, a teenage punk with about fifteen piercings on his face and a young couple trying to corral their three tiny children in line for ice-cream.

But inevitably, as with most of his thought processes lately, he ends up thinking about Jiwon and what he’d be doing at the garage right at that moment. It’s pervasive, just like his negative thoughts, but instead of drowning in anxiety, anything Jiwon-flavoured fills him with security and optimism. He’s trying to adjust but the change still constantly surprises him (in a good way). No matter how wild and convoluted his thoughts become or how far they stray off course, Jiwon is always there in his mind, like a lighthouse at sea or a magnet that drags him back to North.

On a whim, Hanbin takes his phone out of his pocket.

[hey, do you want to have dinner together tonight?]

He’s walking back to the office when he gets a reply.

[do we have to cook it?]

[no, hospitals dates aren’t fun]

[then yes, lol. sorry really swamped right now, call you later]

[ok bunny, xxh]

[xxj]

It’s 5:30pm and the sun is beginning to ride low in the sky, casting a golden-peach haze over the city. Jiwon is waiting across the street from his office but instead of walking towards the car, Hanbin feels like he’s walking straight into a John Hughes high school movie.

Jiwon is leaning casually against the driver’s side door, scrolling and smiling at something on his phone. He’s wearing that soft worn-in white t-shirt that Hanbin likes (and has put on his To Steal One Day list), the sleeves are rolled up high to reveal more of the smooth tanned skin of his arms, each ridge and muscle defined every time the sun hits at the right angle. His hair is getting longer now, falling and tickling his eyes until he looks up to shake it away.

It’s then that their eyes meet across the street.

And Hanbin feels 15 years old again. He’s taken back to the exact moment when he first locked eyes with the American exchange student who transferred to his school and awoke everything that had been lying dormant in his mind for 15 years.

He swallows thickly and tries to calm down the intensity of his emotions but the way his stomach still drops, even after all this time, the way his smile is automatic in Jiwon’s presence, the way he can’t remember anything terrible for those few seconds, the way everything was so obvious, even if neither of them said it out loud….

This must be his Murakami moment.

Stop it, Hanbin.

Stop romanticising everything.

He’s just a person.

He’s honestly surprised he doesn’t get run over while trying to cross the road because did he even look both ways? He doesn’t remember.

“Hey.” Jiwon’s smile is bright and toothy, it says absolutely everything about him.

“Hey.” He says, wondering frantically if they should hug or kiss or handshake or high five now.

“Good day at work?”

“Not really, I couldn’t write anything decent.” He sighs.

“Oh that sucks.” Jiwon says as he pushes himself off the car and comes around to open the passenger’s side door. “What’s your topic this week?”

Hanbin just stares at the gesture as Jiwon walks away to open his own door. “Oh ummm, the the rise of mid-twenties CEOs and the growth of independent businesses.”

When they’re both buckled in, Jiwon wakes the Beast up with that brutal growl that always shoots straight to the primitive corner of Hanbin’s brain and gets his adrenaline going.

“Hey, why don’t you talk to June or Yoyo? They’ve got their own business and have a lot of friends like that. Might help you get some ideas?”

Hanbin pauses. Why didn’t he think of that?

“Why didn’t I think of that? Urgh, where were you eight hours ago?” He groans.

Jiwon gives him a proud smile that makes him look 10 years old. “Underneath the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Wait, what?” Hanbin’s eyes widen in surprise and his voice is annoyingly high-pitched.

“Someone dropped off a 1961 California Spyder at the garage today.” Comes the cheeky reply and Hanbin grumbles with fake irritation, reaching over to punch Jiwon on the arm, leaving the other cackling and pretending that it hurts.

“You’re a jerk.” He says, trying to keep the relief out of his voice but obviously failing because he knows when he’s been busted. “Anyway, have all the car affairs you want. I think I’m going to just call you next time I get writer’s block though.”

Jiwon shifts the BMW into reverse, arm coming to rest behind Hanbin’s seat as he backs out onto the street, the movement causing just the faintest ghost of that familiar woodsy cologne to float between them. “So am I your new personal consultant?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the pay like?”

“Terrible. Virtually zero dollars.”

“God, how cheap are you?!” Jiwon teases as they stop at a red light, he fiddles with the buttons to the sound system before settling on an old Drake song.“You couldn’t afford me anyway.”

“Oh really. What’s your going rate these days?”

“One million dollars,” Jiwon replies smugly before looking across with that arrogant smirk that Hanbin finds annoyingly attractive. “Or….like, 20 hugs.”

Hanbin gives him an amused scoff. “Only 20? Deal.”

“No, I changed my mind. I want 40.”

“Oh 40? Then, no. No deal.”

Jiwon laughs loudly. “Fine. I’ll just keep all these good ideas to myself.”

“You are such a loser. It’s all your fault for being so distracting when I’m trying to work.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! In case you forgot, you agreed to date me so really, who is the bigger loser here?” Jiwon says. “And besides, if you blame me for anything, you’re kinda half blaming yourself. That’s the way things work now.”

Hanbin opens his mouth but ends up saying nothing.

Jiwon looks over with a quirk of his eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m stealing that to use in a future article.”

“Okay, I’ll put it on your tab. You owe me one million dollars and 40 hugs.”

“This is turning out to be a costly relationship.” He says with an exaggerated frown that really just wants to be a smile.

“Yeah suck it up, buddy.” Jiwon laughs. “Anyways, since you’re so poor, I’ll get dinner tonight. What do you feel like?”

“Italian?”

“You want to go eat out or…” Jiwon trails off, an uncertain expression on his angular face.

“I don’t really want to sit in a restaurant.” Hanbin says, trying to be brave for once but looking out the window the entire time. “Can we just get take-out? We could come back and eat it at my apartment.”

“Oh.” Jiwon says, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Only if you want to.” He adds quickly, heart jumping right into his throat as he dares to flick his eyes up in curiosity.

Jiwon is just smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Cool. I want pasta then.” He says in relief but still completely avoiding Jiwon’s eyes again out of embarrassment. “And something with bacon.”

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

It’s just one word but it still causes the butterflies in his stomach to crash into each other like a fleet of kamikaze bombers. He wonders when the thrill will wear off and hopes that the answer is: never.

After finding the Italian restaurant, they sit in the parking lot listening to the rest of the Drake album while waiting for their order. It’s exactly where Hanbin loves to be on a warm evening: in the passengers seat, watching Jiwon sit at the wheel, casually rapping along to old hip-hop and in the process, killing him very very slowly.

“You’re really good.” He says.

“At what? Like, in general?”

He rolls his eyes. “At rapping. You’re so good at it. Do you ever want to get back to it? Do it seriously?”

Jiwon scrunches up his face like Hanbin just reminded him of something painful. “Yeah but something always comes up, you know?”

Neglected dreams are something Hanbin knows all about.

“Yeah I do actually. I’ve been wanting to write my book for awhile but it’s never gone beyond a passing hobby. Work kinda gets in the way. Or life does.”

“You should just write it.” Jiwon replies simply.

“And you should just rap.” He shoots back.

Jiwon lets out a quiet sigh as he plays with the door handle. “I need practice. The other guys would kick my ass if I turned up to battles like this. I want to go back though. One day.”

“So why don’t you? You could probably kick all their asses.”

Jiwon chuckles. “Have you even heard the other guys?”

Hanbin looks over shrugging. “Is that even relevant? It doesn’t make you any less good.”

“You rate me way too highly.” Jiwon says but even as the words come out he’s reaching across to run his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. “And you’re not exactly objective. Would you tell me if I was shit?”

“Of course I would! What do you take me for? Not like I’m blinded by-”

Oh no.

Shut up Hanbin.

He talked himself into a corner again.

Panic starts to set in but strangely enough, it doesn’t fully take hold because Jiwon doesn’t even tease or ask him about it, he just softly raps along to the music and continues playing with Hanbin’s hair until they get called in to pick up their order.

The good thing about anxiety is that all it takes for you to stop worrying about one thing is to become so distracted with another until there’s just a neat orderly ranking system. He likes systems. The order calms his mind. He was so busy being stressed about saying the wrong thing in the car that he totally ran out of time to worry about Jiwon seeing his apartment.

“Okay, so, come in. It’s a bit messy.” He says nervously as he pushes his door open and hastily tidies the stack of unread catalogues by the entrance.

Jiwon wanders in gingerly, looking around and chuckling inwardly at the distinct lack of mess anywhere. “I was here two weeks ago. Remember?”

“You were only in my doorway. Don’t judge the rest of it.” He says as he toes off his Nikes and jams his feet into old Snoopy slippers. “The kitchen is through there.”

“I’m not gonna judge it!” Jiwon shouts as he pads into the kitchen, placing the plastic bag of food on the small wooden table before turning around to survey the neat space. “God. It looks like an accident happened in here. How can you even live like this!!?”

Hanbin knows it’s just teasing but he goes red anyway. “I bet your place is worse!” He fires back.

Jiwon shrugs and grins. “I don’t know, want to come over next week?”

“Next week?”

“Yeah I’m gonna need the entire week to clean it.”

He kicks at Jiwon’s shin, the Snoopy slippers cushioning most of the blow and completely defeating the purpose. “Loser.”

“Stop being rude to your guest.” Jiwon scolds mockingly before pointing to the cupboards. “So where do you keep your plates and stuff?”

He gives a brief tour of his kitchen, from the over processed pantry to his collection of cartoon mugs, pointedly ignoring the sniggers when Jiwon finds all his new plates and cutlery still in their boxes. “Have many people over, Hanbin?”

“Only you and the Queen.” He snaps.

They sit and eat at his small dining table, talking about which one of them should learn to how to cook (both), which one is neater (definitely Hanbin), which one is better at fixing things (definitely Jiwon) and which one would be more likely to become a millionaire before the age of 30 (definitely neither).

It’s only when they’re standing at his sink to do the dishes that the occasion catches up with Hanbin.

Jiwon was in his apartment.

They just had dinner together.

He didn’t have an aneurysm from the stress.

What would Murakami write about this?

“Hanbin?”Jiwon is holding a wet dish out for him to dry. “In your head again?”

He takes the plate and nods. “I’m just thinking.”

“Anything you want to tell me about?”

“I was just thinking of the rap thing again. You’re so good Jiwon. It’d be such a waste if you didn’t just go for it. I’m sure you’re awesome at the garage because you’re good with your hands and I promise I’ll still like you no matter what you end up doing but honestly, you should really think about the rap thing again.” He doesn’t know why he always sounds so flighty and high-pitched when he rambles.

Jiwon gives him that one unreadable look that Hanbin had never been able to decipher. He has no idea what it means. It’s the one with the small smile, slight nod and slow blinks. What the hell does that one mean?

“I’ll think about it okay?”

“Yeah you should.”

“Hey, let’s make a pact.”

Hanbin gives him a condescending look. “Are you 12 years old? Are we at summer camp? Where are the friends-forever bracelets?”

Jiwon flicks water at him. “No listen, let’s both do it together. You start your book and I’ll do this rap thing. Give ourselves like a year? If it doesn’t go anywhere at least we can say we tried?”

“Seriously?” He asks skeptically.

“Seriously.” Jiwon nods and reaches over to dry his hands on the tea towel Hanbin is still holding. “That way we’ll both be annoying at the same time.”

“And stressed at the same time.”

“But maybe happy and successful at the same time?”

He shakes his head. “You haven’t thought this through. We’re going to need a plan. We should really make a plan. I have planning paper.” He says, trying to be helpful.

Jiwon takes the tea towel from his hands, throwing it on the bench before pulling at his shirt. “Come here.”

He has a fleeting thought about gravity before silencing his brain and sinking into Jiwon’s arms.

Oh.

Finally.

Their first proper hug.

He all but melts into it like gooey chocolate, savouring how reassuringly solid Jiwon’s body is underneath his soft cotton t-shirt and the slow sigh he lets out when Hanbin winds his arms around his back. Above all, he savours how truly safe and secure he feels in this completely ordinary and mundane moment. Jiwon was just comforting. Or comfortable. Or both. He was the mash-potato-warm-blanket-kind of comfortable and Hanbin doesn’t want to let go.

“I love that you have planning paper.”

“Surprised?” He mumbles into Jiwon’s t-shirt.

He feels a kiss on the top of his head and fingers brushing through his hair. “No baby, I’m not.”

#Cloudy With A Chance #double b #ikon #hanbin #bobby

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ginandvice · 7 years

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Cloudy With A Chance

Part 12: …of shorts weather.

2 weeks later.

“Are you planning on branching out into EDM? Dub-step? Big beat?” Donghyuk asks wearily from behind his laptop.

“Huh?”

“Oh I assume that’s what the tapping is about? Because surely you can’t be doing that just to annoy me, right?”

He retracts his finger back into his fist. “Sorry. This article just really isn’t working.”

“Yeah okay. Do you want the same thing again?”

“No, we’re stuck in a rut. I feel like something different today. Surprise me. Might not be such a bad idea for you to try something new as well?”

Hanbin rolls his eyes as he passes Donghyuk’s desk on the way out, “Yes, Dad.”

[hey, fyi its gonna be really hot 2day. SHORTS WEATHER!!! have a good day at work, call me later xxJ]

He chuckles to himself thinking of how many pairs of shorts Jiwon must own by now (probably a few pairs shy of 100). It gets him thinking about Jiwon’s wardrobe, then his room, then his apartment…

…the one that Hanbin has never even been to.

Was it weird? It must be weird. They’ve never even seen the inside of each other’s apartments. Or hugged since that day at June’s. Or even had a proper date by themselves. Or kissed again.

It was weird.

It was backwards.

Stop it Hanbin.

Stop it.

He wills himself to stop mourning about normalcy or wanting to join the conveyer belt of society-approved romantics when he knows that the thing he has with Jiwon is totally and utterly not normal.

On a whim, Hanbin takes his phone out of his pocket.

[hey, do you want to have dinner together tonight?]

He’s walking back to the office when he gets a reply.

[do we have to cook it?]

[no, hospitals dates aren’t fun]

[then yes, lol. sorry really swamped right now, call you later]

[ok bunny, xxh]

[xxj]

It’s then that their eyes meet across the street.

This must be his Murakami moment.

Stop it, Hanbin.

Stop romanticising everything.

He’s just a person.

He’s honestly surprised he doesn’t get run over while trying to cross the road because did he even look both ways? He doesn’t remember.

“Hey.” Jiwon’s smile is bright and toothy, it says absolutely everything about him.

“Hey.” He says, wondering frantically if they should hug or kiss or handshake or high five now.

“Good day at work?”

“Not really, I couldn’t write anything decent.” He sighs.

“Oh that sucks.” Jiwon says as he pushes himself off the car and comes around to open the passenger’s side door. “What’s your topic this week?”

Hanbin just stares at the gesture as Jiwon walks away to open his own door. “Oh ummm, the the rise of mid-twenties CEOs and the growth of independent businesses.”

When they’re both buckled in, Jiwon wakes the Beast up with that brutal growl that always shoots straight to the primitive corner of Hanbin’s brain and gets his adrenaline going.

“Hey, why don’t you talk to June or Yoyo? They’ve got their own business and have a lot of friends like that. Might help you get some ideas?”

Hanbin pauses. Why didn’t he think of that?

“Why didn’t I think of that? Urgh, where were you eight hours ago?” He groans.

Jiwon gives him a proud smile that makes him look 10 years old. “Underneath the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Wait, what?” Hanbin’s eyes widen in surprise and his voice is annoyingly high-pitched.

“Yes.”

“What’s the pay like?”

“Terrible. Virtually zero dollars.”

“God, how cheap are you?!” Jiwon teases as they stop at a red light, he fiddles with the buttons to the sound system before settling on an old Drake song.“You couldn’t afford me anyway.”

“Oh really. What’s your going rate these days?”

“One million dollars,” Jiwon replies smugly before looking across with that arrogant smirk that Hanbin finds annoyingly attractive. “Or….like, 20 hugs.”

Hanbin gives him an amused scoff. “Only 20? Deal.”

“No, I changed my mind. I want 40.”

“Oh 40? Then, no. No deal.”

Jiwon laughs loudly. “Fine. I’ll just keep all these good ideas to myself.”

“You are such a loser. It’s all your fault for being so distracting when I’m trying to work.”

Hanbin opens his mouth but ends up saying nothing.

Jiwon looks over with a quirk of his eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m stealing that to use in a future article.”

“Okay, I’ll put it on your tab. You owe me one million dollars and 40 hugs.”

“This is turning out to be a costly relationship.” He says with an exaggerated frown that really just wants to be a smile.

"Yeah suck it up, buddy.” Jiwon laughs. “Anyways, since you’re so poor, I’ll get dinner tonight. What do you feel like?”

“Italian?”

“You want to go eat out or…” Jiwon trails off, an uncertain expression on his angular face.

“Oh.” Jiwon says, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Only if you want to.” He adds quickly, heart jumping right into his throat as he dares to flick his eyes up in curiosity.

Jiwon is just smiling at him. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Cool. I want pasta then.” He says in relief but still completely avoiding Jiwon’s eyes again out of embarrassment. “And something with bacon.”

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

“You’re really good.” He says.

“At what? Like, in general?”

He rolls his eyes. “At rapping. You’re so good at it. Do you ever want to get back to it? Do it seriously?”

Jiwon scrunches up his face like Hanbin just reminded him of something painful. “Yeah but something always comes up, you know?”

Neglected dreams are something Hanbin knows all about.

“Yeah I do actually. I’ve been wanting to write my book for awhile but it’s never gone beyond a passing hobby. Work kinda gets in the way. Or life does.”

“You should just write it.” Jiwon replies simply.

“And you should just rap.” He shoots back.

Jiwon lets out a quiet sigh as he plays with the door handle. “I need practice. The other guys would kick my ass if I turned up to battles like this. I want to go back though. One day.”

“So why don’t you? You could probably kick all their asses.”

Jiwon chuckles. “Have you even heard the other guys?”

Hanbin looks over shrugging. “Is that even relevant? It doesn’t make you any less good.”

"You rate me way too highly.” Jiwon says but even as the words come out he’s reaching across to run his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. “And you’re not exactly objective. Would you tell me if I was shit?”

“Of course I would! What do you take me for? Not like I’m blinded by-”

Oh no.

Shut up Hanbin.

He talked himself into a corner again.

“Okay, so, come in. It’s a bit messy.” He says nervously as he pushes his door open and hastily tidies the stack of unread catalogues by the entrance.

Jiwon wanders in gingerly, looking around and chuckling inwardly at the distinct lack of mess anywhere. “I was here two weeks ago. Remember?”

“You were only in my doorway. Don’t judge the rest of it.” He says as he toes off his Nikes and jams his feet into old Snoopy slippers. “The kitchen is through there.”

Hanbin knows it’s just teasing but he goes red anyway. “I bet your place is worse!” He fires back.

Jiwon shrugs and grins. “I don’t know, want to come over next week?”

“Next week?”

“Yeah I’m gonna need the entire week to clean it.”

He kicks at Jiwon’s shin, the Snoopy slippers cushioning most of the blow and completely defeating the purpose. “Loser.”

“Stop being rude to your guest.” Jiwon scolds mockingly before pointing to the cupboards. “So where do you keep your plates and stuff?”

“Only you and the Queen.” He snaps.

It’s only when they’re standing at his sink to do the dishes that the occasion catches up with Hanbin.

Jiwon was in his apartment.

They just had dinner together.

He didn’t have an aneurysm from the stress.

What would Murakami write about this?

“Hanbin?”Jiwon is holding a wet dish out for him to dry. “In your head again?”

He takes the plate and nods. “I’m just thinking.”

“Anything you want to tell me about?”

“I’ll think about it okay?”

“Yeah you should.”

“Hey, let’s make a pact.”

Hanbin gives him a condescending look. “Are you 12 years old? Are we at summer camp? Where are the friends-forever bracelets?”

“Seriously?” He asks skeptically.

“Seriously.” Jiwon nods and reaches over to dry his hands on the tea towel Hanbin is still holding. “That way we’ll both be annoying at the same time.”

“And stressed at the same time.”

“But maybe happy and successful at the same time?”

He shakes his head. “You haven’t thought this through. We’re going to need a plan. We should really make a plan. I have planning paper.” He says, trying to be helpful.

Jiwon takes the tea towel from his hands, throwing it on the bench before pulling at his shirt. “Come here.”

He has a fleeting thought about gravity before silencing his brain and sinking into Jiwon’s arms.

Oh.

Finally.

Their first proper hug.

“I love that you have planning paper.”

“Surprised?” He mumbles into Jiwon’s t-shirt.

He feels a kiss on the top of his head and fingers brushing through his hair. “No baby, I’m not.”

#click on the links #esp if you don't know who John Hughes is #that WYD video is proving to be so useful for this haha #cloudy with a chance #double b #hanbin #bobby #ikon #text

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