What have J&h been up to lately?

BOTH TRYING TO DATE THE SAME GIRL, APPARENTLY

lol jk no like in the actual ‘verse, there’s a new guy in town name of Sionis and lately they’ve been scheming about the best way to blow his shit up because the Joker doesn’t like any one person in the underworld consolidating too much power and this guy is kind of good at it

so like. the usual :)

What do you think gendrys reaction will be seeing arya for the first time again? how long do you think it will take for them to smash lmaooo

If we're lucky IMMEDIATELY ajsndnfjc

Okay but for real I think Gendry will be shocked at first. I don't think he expects to ever see her again, and he must assume she's either dead or married to Ramsey. He'll probably be nervous or awkward in their first few interactions since she has changed so much since he has last seen her (very on par with their show reunion). Whatever crush he had when he first knew her is gonna be hella amplified. But I can see them picking up where they left off in terms of familiarity, and their dynamic will permanently shift from friends to paramours almost immediately but quite seemlessly.

one of my favorite things about j’s pov in your stories is how unconsciously he thinks about how pretty harley is. i think it’s endearing and very boyfriend-like coming from the worst boyfriend ever and it’s not like he is comparing her prettiness to his ugliness, it’s more like he genuinely enjoys how pretty she is and appreciates it

lmaaaao he acts so above it all but every so often he just has to take a step back and appreciate how cute his girlfriend is

from a drama perspective he thoroughly appreciates the contrast between his mangled, grotesquely painted face and her all-American prettiness; the shock value of it all plays well in the tabloids and you know he really enjoys that

but from a personal perspective he’s the epitome of that Office quote where he’s like “I would never say this to her face but she’s a beautiful woman and a gifted criminal”

(Spider, baffled, very quietly in the background: why wouldn’t you say that to her face??)

I just listened to your 8tracks for harley and the joker and I am in love I love your music taste

thank you so much, music is life

on the topic of music, Billie Eilish just released her album and there are some primo J/H tracks on there, Ilomilo is so Harley it hurts and bury a friend is the vibe.

what do you think the joker’s reaction would be if he found out batman is bruce wayne? every time i watch the dark knight it kind of shocks me that with the joker’s intelligence and the fact that batman probably has to be at least a little wealthy in order to afford his suit/batmobie/etc. etc. that he wouldn’t sort of piece it together? i’m sure i’m making it out easier than it is so maybe disregard that. also, what do you think would happen if the joker were to target bruce wayne and name him

(sorry continued) his next target? he goes for higher up figures in society so bruce would be an easy next target? would bruce fight back and then the joker figures out he’s batman based on the way he fights?             

it’s super suspect that no one ever clocks Batman’s body type/age/obvious access to oodles of money and is like “heyyyy…… that’s kinda… Bruce Wayneish” and odder that they don’t then go “didn’t Batman appear like the day after Bruce Wayne came back to the city after ten years away?” and oddest of all (in the Nolanverse version, anyway) that they don’t look at Batman’s very distinctive mouth/way of speaking and go “that’s Christian Bale’s mouth” (so to speak). The Joker, as a fairly quick-witted man, would have figured this out--

but it’s Gotham, and Comics, so we have to maintain a certain amount of suspension of disbelief if we don’t want the entire thing to come crumbling down. like the idea that no cop in Gotham would just shoot the Joker on sight after all his bullshit in TDK (rather than it being an unofficial policy for all of them, which I 100% believe would happen if this was real life), or the fact that Gotham’s criminals go to Arkham instead of prison if they happen to have been wearing a costume. Rules are different in this ‘verse than in real life.

it’s definitely a possibility that the Joker would target Bruce (it already happened, kind of! he went to Bruce’s penthouse in TDK, even though he wasn’t looking to terrorize him specifically!). he’d have to do something about Bruce’s security, which wouldn’t be easy, but if he did manage to crash a party and take Bruce hostage or something.... Bruce is a very smart, very thoughtful man, and even if the Nolan movies don’t spend a ton of time getting into it, I think he’s very good at putting on a public act (”the buffoon”) that deflects suspicion. Not getting caught fighting back in a way that gives away that he has any formal training whatsoever is like baseline for him.  Knowing Bruce, he’d sneakily engineer “accidents” and “bad luck” for his captors where he has total deniability (but actually 100% was the cause of that stage light crashing down onto that dude) and fight back that way. I’m sure he’d manage to get out of the whole thing alive and with his secret still secure, lol.

also, side note, kind of related? but there’s a Cat Tales arc this reminded me of that cracks me up every time: the Joker is “friends” with Selina Kyle (she disagrees but he’s made his mind up) who is publicly dating Bruce Wayne, who the Joker-- in a twist of fate-- absolutely loves, which makes him hate Batman more, because everyone knows Selina runs around with Batman after hours, and how could she treat dear Brucie like that??? and the Joker’s efforts to right this injustice twist him into completely unnecessary knots and it is hilarious. just thought I’d share the link in case anyone wanted to go digging into that bc it’s soooo funny, I love her take on the Rogues so much

Has there ever been an instance where a henchman has had a crush on harley? what has j done about it? Also i am so excited to read the update i need to finish rereading the ringmaster (chapter 20 now

lol this isn’t the first ask I’ve gotten on this topic, it’s something that Funny Business might cover over time, but

I’d say it’s likely that a few of the henchmen have had a crush on Harley at one point in time or another, bc she’s cute and hangs out with them all the time and is cool with the crime thing + I can’t imagine being a Joker henchman is conducive to healthy long-term relationships so a lot of them are chronically single, so it’s the kind of thing that just develops, but you have to be incredibly stupid to make advances to the Joker’s girlfriend, so usually it just results in some pining/adoration until they meet someone else who catches their eye

(of course, there are some incredibly stupid people out there who wouldn’t let the Joker get in their way if they thought they had a shot)

What was the Joker going to say in Malady when Harley/Batman asked him if he loved Harley before he dozed off (the answer he would have given and also the answer he really thought since his words vs thoughts are usually different)

he wasn’t really planning to say anything; theoretically he thought it was funny that Batman cared how he felt one way or the other and the natural response to that is to tease Bats by not giving him an answer (and then the not-talking led to the dozing off bc the man needed sleep)

the answer he really thought, such as it was, was probably along the lines of “love harley of course I don’t love harley I don’t love anybody what a stupid question” because if we’ve established anything through the years, it’s that the Joker is spectacularly emotionally ignorant and wouldn’t recognize (much less admit to) love if it was staring him right in the face

Do you think Joker would get jealous of others wanting Harley? It is common knowledge that he loves his power over her but would he be annoyed if others were fascinated with her too for her good looks/personality (not just looking to have power over her). Also is there anytime where he actually does want to have sex with her? Like is there a part of him that is actually a typical male and desires to have sex with her?

I think the Joker’s too much of a narcissist to care! unless, of course, Harley is responding to that attention and it’s inconveniencing him because, in turn, she’s not paying enough attention to HIM. Given that he’s a shithead, she’s naturally the one he punishes for that, not whoever was giving her attention/whoever she was hanging out with at the time. (this happens in Ringmaster when he comes to collect her from Pam’s place– he hits Pam, sure, but it’s definitely to punish Harley/make her feel like it was her fault he did it– he doesn’t actually care what Pam’s feeling.)

and while I don’t feel like the Joker has a conventional relationship with the idea of sex, he’s certainly sexually into Harley, some times more than others (power comes into it a lot). it’s more of an indulgence than a necessity to him (he is a stubborn prick who refuses to allow anything that requires another person’s involvement to be something he needs), and he’s got a lot going on in his head and life so it’s definitely kind of sporadic bc he gets wrapped up focusing on other things, but if he wasn’t sexually attracted to her then he wouldn’t be having sex with her.