/  Back at proof of hero hell

/  I have this feeling that at one given point, I’ll write a h.on.kai s.tar r.ail character-

𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 .

        Enneagram Type 2 ; The Helper . Helpers who need to be needed .

        People of this personality type essentially feel that they are worthy insofar as they are helpful to others. Love is their highest ideal.    Selflessness is their duty.    Giving to others is their reason for being. Involved, socially aware, usually extroverted, Twos are the type of people who remember everyone's birthday and who go the extra mile to help out a co-worker, spouse or friend in need.

Twos are warm, emotional people who care a great deal about their personal relationships, devote an enormous amount of energy to them, and who expect to be appreciated for their efforts. They are practical people who thrive in the helping professions and who know how to make a home comfortable and inviting. Helping others makes Twos feel good about themselves; being needed makes them feel important; being selfless, makes Twos feel virtuous. Much of a Two's self-image revolves around these issues, and any threat to that self-image is scarcely tolerated. Twos are thoroughly convinced of their selflessness, and it is true that they are frequently genuinely helpful and concerned about others. It is equally true, however, that Twos require appreciation; they need to be needed. Their love is not entirely without ulterior motive.

Twos often develop a sense of entitlement when it comes to the people closest to them. Because they have extended themselves for others, they begin to feel that gratitude is owed to them. They can become intrusive and demanding if their often unacknowledged emotional needs go unmet. They can be bossy and manipulative, feeling entirely justified in being so, because they "have earned the right" and their intentions are good. The darkest side of the type Two fixation appears when the Two begins to feel that they will never receive the love they deserve for all of their efforts. Under such circumstances, they can become hysterical, irrational and even abusive.

Because Twos are generally helping others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility. Twos need to learn that they can only be of true service to others if they are healthy, balanced and centered in themselves.

Twos can mistype themselves if they are not in an obvious helper role in their professional lives; they might not recognize the extent of their involvement in assisting others. This is especially true for male Twos, who have not received the same social rewards for helping as female Twos receive. Male Twos frequently mistype as Ones or Threes, the wings of type Two. Females, of all types, are bound to recognize some of the dynamics of type Two in their personalities, as such qualities have been socially reinforced. Female Nines, for instance, are especially prone to mistyping as Twos, particularly if they are the mothers of small children. But Nines are self-effacing and humble; Twos are proud and have a strong sense of their own worth.

/  Out of context juna’s from the c.hristmas e.vent;

       /  My contribution to this sunday;

(source)

    /  H- H- HIS HA- HAIR IS SO S-S- SO SO F- F- FLUFFY AN-

@ardenssolis​​ said ; Throws a wink in Arjuna's direction knowing he was going to think about it all day. / 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃

       Archery has always required for the individual practicing it to possess not only a specific set of skills when it came down to wielding the bow, but most importantly, a concentration of steel; a field in which Arjuna excelled on and has proved to further exceed the expectations placed on him time and time again. Despite his knowledge and skills, this has not hindered his daily practices, as he’s been taught in person a long time ago how pride could be detrimental for growth, a matter that although sometimes still managed to slip past him (for amongst all, he still had a human side), he still found his way to combat against it whenever he became aware of his own actions.

A couple of hours have passed already, and with his training oficially coming to an end, (or well, for the time being at least). Lowering his shoulders, he makes his bow dissipates in thin air. His rigid posture now aquiring a slightly more relaxed stance, yet despite this, the tenseness on his shoulders remains, as it has never been too easy to get rid off of control. Extending his hand forward, he attempts to reach for his quivers, yet something manages to draw him away from them, something he couldn’t quite bring himself to explain but that pulled him to turn his head around. It was the sensation of someone observing him, something he was used to, however this time, the pair of eyes that were staring him felt different, like a pressure that would not leave until Arjuna agreed to paid attention to it. It was a stare that felt .... 

Difficult to ignore.

Calmly does he turn his head around, an image that offered quite the contrast if one carefully observed the rest of his body language up close. Hands clenched into fists, brows slightly furrowing, it was undeniable that his defenses were up despite how controlled his actions were, yet this? as soon as his eyes raise to finally meet the intense sensation that felt like a poke to his neck𑁋 all the control Arjuna had seconds ago found its way to crumble without his authorization-

A wink, a simple small wink sent straight to his way. Nothing more, nothing less. That was all it took to momentarily shatter the controlled facade the prince carried.

How should one react when someone was daring enough to send a wink to their way? Should one be daring back, and answer it? Much like how some words often carried a thousand different meanings, a wink could equally carry a thousand meanings as well. With the ambiguity it carried, sometimes, a simple wink was enough to start a conflict or a fight, however other times, a wink was like an arrow piercing one’s heart. With all these posibilities lingering in the air, it is the playful aura surrouding the action what brings him to cross the posibility of mockery from the endless list he was starting to fabricate inside his mind.

This wasn’t an insult. Definitely not a provocation to fight either, as one simply cannot just wink like that to another with such panache. Against how he would have wished to react, Arjuna freezes in response, and with the attempt to redeem the impact such a simple action has caused on him, he quickly extends his hand forward to take hold of his quivers, however his gaze fails to part ways from Ozymandias’ one, almost as if he’s been temporarily enchanted, and in response, he accidentally manages to knock down the two quivers he’s been trying to take hold of. This wasn’t an insult, but it was definitely an attack! to his composure at least- without even realizing it, his lips have parted open, and upon realizing so, he quickly closes his mouth and turns around to face the direction of the noise the quivers falling have provoked.

Quickly does he take hold of the arrows scattered across the ground and tucks them back inside the quivers in an almost robotic-like manner, embarassment suddenly washing all over him as he unconciously raises a hand to cover a small dry cough.... As if Ozymandias could even hear that !! If there was one thing Arjuna despised, it was not being able to have control over his reactions, and the timid shade of red that was begining to make its way over his cheeks have oficially become the cherry on top of the cake. 

No words! 

this man was utterly strange ! Shameless even ! What did that even mean !? Why did he feel compelled to do such thing ! could it be that he was truly seeking for a fight ? quickly, Arjuna pulls (again) from the back of his head the endless list of posibilities that he has fabricated in order to understand what in the world that wink Ozymandias has done meant, yet quickly does he cut himself from overanalizing as he realizes once again his position- a truly embarassing one at that! He wasn’t going to approach that man! there were... More important things to do- he was a busy man afterall! and thus, before the color on his cheeks could betray him even further than what it has already done, he begins to quickly make his way out of the room without uttering a single word.

      That ... Was certainly something- something he was unwillingly and perhaps even stubbornly going to be thinking for the rest of the day.

       /  Thinking about Jinako’s messy and vague nature contrasting with Karna’s crude straightforwardness

@mellodiies asked for a servant assigning ;

/ (in no specific order of compatibility) From left to right; Salieri, Karna, Tezcatlipoca, Duryodhana, Oberon/Vortigern, Morgan, Caeneus, Jason, Ashwatthama, Asclepius, Jeanne D'Arc (alter), Baobhan Sith, Ishtar

Salieri: I THINK S.ALIERI WOULD BE SOOOOOO M.ELLO CORE LIKE???? the man whose entire existence lingers about being the second (in his case; to m.ozart) about not being born a prodigy/naturally gifted; about obsession; envy but also the parallel this has to how u mentioned a lot of times that ur m.ello's relationship to n.ear is not truly of hatred; and that despite it all; they do have a mutual sense of respect? thats s.alieri @ m.ozart as well its just that this manifestation of s.alieri is a twisted one; he's not really -the- salieri to say so he's a bit insane (not on purpose and not willingly)

karna: k.arna is also very m.ello core bc his character is also tied a lot to comparison and obsession and envy (at least og wise) k.arna as a s.ervant developed past his own death yet some traits are very similar to m.ello's he would be able to sympathize a lot with him; k.arna is about second chances; and i feel like compared to s.alieri; his charitable nature could actually help m.ello a lot

T.ezcatlipoca: t.ezcatlipoca would think m.ello is very entertaining to watch so he would definitely tag along; think of him as like r.yuk in a way; he's about duality so don't expect him to fully be in ur team, however, he is a pretty carefree god when it comes about himself so he follows his own rules which means he can bend them whenever he wants

Duryodhana: sore looser personality, but also I just know he would instantly understand why Mello does the things he does and would support his side to the bitter end because this is about winning and about underdogs, and if ur in duryo's team then that obviously means ur in the right

Oberon: (they have the same hairstyle) NO OK BUT- be wary of the fae and that includes this guy; he would also understand him but by the side of bitterness and spite; you never know how far he'll get for his beliefs and that's something i feel like they share

Morgan: also someone who will move and do anything and lit anything for her goals; she is selfish and with a right to it yet those she cares about become her pogchamps and she will blow up the world for them; lit the definition of the world can rot but you will live. Mello will be first on everything.

Caeneus: They will both bicker a lot because their tough personalities could clash, i can feel it, but also caeneus will be the first person to spit on everyone's faces and k.ill for him, the world will look at them and their triumph, they'll prove everyone their worth

Jason: OUGH- JASON.. where do i start,,, the lamest captain you'll ever meet but also a hero, as an ancient hero can be, u ask how both of these can coexist and he's right there- I dunno i just think its like, two guys whose deaths ended up so,,, insignificantly? (i know at the end mello's death contributed to the capture of kira but u get the idea that he just,, blew up.) guys who have so many negative traits but who can't just be defined by them because theres so much more, guys who are incredibly ambitious,,, THAT

Ashwatthama: RAGE, its funny that in a way ash is quite emotional like mello yet these emotions tend to get repressed,, but not in the usual sense but in the sense of -shows one emotion and thinks 'yeah i would summarize it like that' but actually there's a lot more, and its explosive- i feel like they would get to pull out of each other more of these emotions they are sort of looking over because of how they kind of mirror each other in this way, its like;; they can see each other reflected on the other; so positive growing here

Asclepius: bitterness and powerlessness, something about fighting the fate you are imposed upon, about seeking to achieve their goals, that this time it'll be different;; i also feel like because they are quite different in personality they could be funny but in the same sense, Asclepius is kind of distant and very objective- with deep down an emotional side that could pop up more when bonding with mello

Jeanne: THEY ARE BOTH EMO AND STUBBORN AND BITTER AND THE WORLD FAILED THEM- and they will conquer it this time;; and literally screw everyone else. ITS ABOUT SECOND CHANCES, of being the black sheep, of being alone, of being outshined by someone else, of being made for a goal but what about my feelings!? i genuinely feel like if i had to compress this list, jeanne alter would def be in the top who would answer his summoning call

Baobhan: she can be a bit bossy and rude and obsessive and cruel and a whole princess not to mention that she is part of the fae so the difficulty to handle is like x1000 BUT- I think that compatibility-wise, they would def work;; something about pride, of titles holding such a weight and pressure on their image, of their importance relying on their respective label (L's succesor and Morgan's daughter), of circumstances shaping them so much in their past that it ends up affecting them in the future, hedonists;; she also might end up obsessing over mello bc of his bad boy tendencies; also have I mentioned how both are very much into fashion? different fashion sense but I can say both would fall into the end of having very unique pieces

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 : relationship with Karna .

                      Does it ever hit you how many unresolved and conflicted emotions must be going through arjuna's mind when he sees K.arna walking around Chaldea from afar? like,, although (if i remember correctly), the reactions of the Pandava brothers upon finding out about the truth that K.arna was their brother is not explicitly written to the exception of Yudhishthira (who reacts rather angrily) I have this thought that even if A.rjuna wasn’t overcome with that immediate intense sorrow once he found out about the truth that Karna was his brother and that he well--- killed his own brother, I do think A.rjuna def felt something;; something that perhaps in that moment he did not really know nor did it really hit him in that moment, but that proceeded to grow into deep guilt; I also believe this guilt is part of the reason why A.rjuna later on adopts K.arna’s son and raises him as his own son;; 

But like, the point of all of this is that when A.rjuna killed K.arna, he did not know that K.arna was his brother in comparison to K.arna who did know,, so imagine all the unresolved things and questions that may have remained burried inside A.rjuna’s mind, that he was unable to know the answers to because he killed K.arna, and now under the circumstances of fgo, he is able to see him and ask him these questions--- but instead of being overjoyed of seeing him alive and having the posibility to talk things out, he just feels an inmense sense of..... rejection.

“I don't know whether I be sad or happy? I should be sad, I've lost a guardian. I should be happy, I have got rid of a brother who had same skills as me. But now, I am guilty- I killed my own brother. What's the point of sorrow now? Relations are temporary. He was an enemy too, afterall.”

Seeing K.arna in Chaldea brings soooo many unresolved and conflicted emotions on A.rjuna’s side because in one hand, he knows he is his brother; however- can he truly let go of their troubled past? about what K.arna did? they lived as enemies all of their life afterall; but if he thinks it in a different way, he also has no reason to want to kill him, because there is no longer an ongoing war between the pandavas and kauravas, there is nothing left for them to fight aside from past grudges;; but then you also have to take in consideration that Karna is the living and breathing representation of A.rjuna’s ‘sins’ ; K.arna is the constant reminder that A.rjuna took advantage of the conditions that lead him to have a big advantage over K.arna when they fought together and how he killed him like a 'coward'.

“.... Karna was shedding tears, and seeing Arjuna about to release his weapon, he requested him, "O Partha, wait for a moment till I free this chariot from the earth. Do not kill me like a coward, but observe the practices of great warriors. You are the bravest man in the world, and you should know that now is not the time to kill me. Excuse me for a moment till I can free my chariot which is stuck in the earth."

So all of these conflicted feelings are the reason why I believe A.rjuna still has a hostile behavior towards K.arna in chaldea;; how it makes perfect sense when you take in mind his character; and how contrarily to how one would think; he doesn´t particularly feel joy in seeing his brother. He just feels guilt and anxiety, he feels confused ;; deeply troubled, specially because A.rjuna is a very prideful character who has difficulty in digging deep down his heart for answers, so in comparison to how fate’s K.arna was able to grow and reflect from his actions (Which I considered it to be the explanation for Karna’s very different personality in comparison to his personality in the epic), fate’s arjuna is somehow stuck in time, he is still unable to grow because he is unwilling to seek deep down his heart for answers that would give him the peace of mind he wishes he could have;; and in a way, unconciously I feel like he believes he doesnt deserve it, yet he also envies Karna for being able to achieve this peace of mind despite all that happened.