#its a bit alienating... why does art have to be one of the loneliest hobbies ever
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the first few art pieces for a new interest are always the loneliest, in my experience
#aishi.txt#i cant sleep despite drinking calming tea and my fav playlist being put on so forgive any emoness but#its a bit alienating... why does art have to be one of the loneliest hobbies ever#like i want people to care as much as i do but i also get it if they dont#i cant fault ppl for not seeing the vision as i do... which is why my art is there#but im just one guy who has many ideas and not enough hands and energy to draw all of them#draw them all and... make it match my view also?? i have to reconcile my current skill with my lack of time and energy with my perfectionism#a bit of a recipe for disaster... i will say#and even after all that effort... some people will still not see it or get it and the ones that probably do#will need time to warm up to me!!#and my art... ough.. idk.....#do i use art as a medium to bridge my social anxiety or what... why does this lowkey bother me#anyway. this happens every time i change fandom#persona art was the loneliest period... pokemon feels a bit alienating too idk#my conclusion always is to stop interacting altogether#just dump my art pieces and go#but thats never worked out for me as well... i always long for interaction and i always be yapping#its just!! a bit tiring i guess#having to continuously work on stuff to... feel connected? what am i saying#like yea i know it takes time. i just wish it didnt have to feel so lonely too during the waiting period#makes me not want to move on from one interest to the next#makes me worried the friends ive made for one fandom will think ive abandoned them for a new thing but its the opposite.#im scared to leave things ive built up.. connections ive already made#i would love nothing more for them to come with me (its not like theyre going anywhere) i just dont know#how to make them feel connected to a new interest i have? wtf am i on about#its like i based my self worth on what art i can provide to others lol 😂 thats silly#i think i'll just think of this as my real life friendships and leave it at that#but yeah. i still feel incredibly lonely and alienated when making art for a new thing. even old things feel incredibly. sad to me#art as a hobby is incredibly lonely. its frustrating for someone like me#an extroverted person with an introvert's hobby. disaster.
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